Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, December 12, 2013

While you were sleeping the Now Now Silly news team was wandering up and down, back and forth, throughout the entire internet to gather nothing but the best in headlines. Only when they return are they finally fed their one meal a day. But don’t be concerned for them because it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour.

WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

It Takes A McDonald’s Worker 4 Months
To Earn What The CEO Gets In An Hour

TODAY IN GOD:

Hindus join Satanists demanding equal placement on Oklahoma capitol grounds

FINALLY! A FAIR AND BALANCED REPORT!!!

Rupert Murdoch Called
‘Evil’ In His Own Newspaper

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Megyn Kelly Ignores Guest’s Depiction
Of Danish PM As “Danish Pastry”

Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade tells general:
Iraq was a ‘great place’ until U.S. left

I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Christmas is a Pagan Holiday – Get Over it Already

6 conspiracy theories about the imaginary war on Christmas

Satanists & Atheists Vie For Space In Florida Capitol

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Cops killed Harlem man after they mistook friendly Taser fire for knife stab: lawsuit

The “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

GOP Plan to “Punish” Democrats Is Probably the Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Of

Republicans’ self-hatred swells: The GOP vs. its own base

MORE DISPATCHES ABOUT DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Sci-fi pilot ’12 Monkeys’ filming in Detroit,
will get $1.5M in state incentives

What Should Be Done About Detroit? A Gawker Internal Debate

FREE THE WEED:

Denver legalizes marijuana for use on private property

Uruguay legalizing marijuana breaks
drug control treaty, says watchdog

Study finds no link between teen
pot use and schizophrenia risk

CRACKHEAD CORNER:

Daniel Dale: Rob Ford is lying about me, and it’s vile
Literally every single thing Mayor Rob Ford told Conrad Black about
my conduct on May 2, 2012 is false in some way. Let’s go lie by lie.

RUTLES NEWS:

DVD Review: Mock songs give life to ‘The Rutles’

VIDEO DU JOUR:

 

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Headly Westerfield
Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.