It’s been a long time coming, folks. For months behind the scenes, the entire Not Now Silly Newsroom team has been toiling to build this brand new website from the ground up.
After applying two coats of paint, we’ve removed all the tarps, and polished all the brass. It’s now ready for you. From here on in (or until Donald Trump destroys the world), the new Not Now Silly Newsroom will be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to serve our faithful readers — and all the haters.
All the old NNS posts you’ve come to love have been ported over from the old site and, although some of the previous formatting has been lost, every precious word has been retained. While our entire IT team has developed a navigation system that makes it easier to find your favourite category of NNS articles, the NEW! IMPROVED! NNS Newsroom includes everything you’ve come to rely upon: Investigative journalism, Pastoral Letters, Insightful articles on Race Relations, Musical Appreciations, Fox “News” snark, and a whole host of other tomfoolery as the needs arise.
FULL DISCLOSURE: We make no bones about it: The main reason to go to our own dot com domain is to better monetize the site. While there have always been adverts at NNS, so far the site has only earned a grand total of $180.38, or almost 20 cents per post. That’s not a very good return on my time investment. Some of those 923 previous posts took hours and hours to write and edit, while some came together fairly quickly. However, I’m hardly making a killing from my words. My profession, that I spent a lifetime perfecting, has been totally devalued now that everyone on the innertubes think they are a writer. It’s time to up my game. However, the one thing I can’t do is ask people to click on the adverts. So, I won’t.
To help in our professed goal of monetization, we’ve also also building a Not Now Silly Store [NNSS] as an annex to the site. There we will be featuring all kinds of items for your perusal and purchase. We’ve been lining up some exciting product and vendors, something we’ll be announcing in the coming weeks. Not to be too blunt, but we sincerely hope that by this time next year you will have done all your holiday shopping at the Not Now Silly Store. Even more exciting is the fact that we are offering a special consignment deal to our faithful readers. If you have something you wish to vend, consider the Not Now Silly Consignment Store with better rates than a brink and mortar store could offer.
Sadly, as we abandon the old site, all of our stats will once again be reset to zero.
That’s why it’s worth reviewing some of the statistics we’ve wracked up since our first post on April 19, 2012. At the time of this writing we’ve had 496,813 visitors, closing in on half a million.
Our biggest month was January 2015 with 17,934 readers, but this past month (December 2016) we are coming close to that record with 16,489 people washing up on these shores from all over the world. Naturally the bulk of our visitors have come from the United States (316,857). However, it appears as if Vladimir Putin has also taken an interest in Not Now Silly because #2 on the visitor’s list is Russia, with 23,857 spies peeking in. Rounding out the rest of the visitors list is Canada (17,695), Germany (17,592), France (14,331), United Kingdom (8258), Ukraine (5393), Italy (4017), Ireland (3934) and Malaysia (3295).
Of those people who arrived having used a search engine, these are the Top Ten search terms:
10). Frank Zappa;
9). Three Stooges;
8). Bonzo Dog Band;
7). James Rosen;
6). Alan Turing;
5). Beatles Let It Be;
3). 3 Stooges;
2). Josephine Baker;
and the Number 1 search term: Brian Jones.
Which just goes to show ya how important The Three Stooges and the Not Now Silly Newsroom is for our modern day society.
My Freedom of Information requests from the City of Miami are beginning to add up, not to mention all the other costs of researching systemic racism and corruption in Coconut Grove