Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 28
Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

The only thing that separates Fox “News” World from Bizarro World is the fact that Bizarro World is a totally made up place. Oh! Wait! So is Fox “News” World. Let me try that again.

The only thing that separates Fox “News” World from Bizarro World is the fact that Bizarro World is a totally made up world of pen and ink. Try doing that, Steve Doocy!

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle is a leisure time activity of the Aunty Em Ericann Blog. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Hey! Where’s my Monday morning cheesecake?

Hey! Where’s my Monday morning cheesecake? Or the faux outrage of Bully Boy Braggadocio?

The best Fox “News” Freak Out of the Week™: Comedian Jamie Foxx referred to President Obama as “our Lord and Savior” [sic] at the Soul Train Awards on BET. Remembering Jesus Christ’s advice to “turn the other cheek,” Fox “News” spent multiple segments attacking Jamie Foxx. Then Glenn Beck to put an Obama bobblehead doll in a mason jar of urine and the world changed forever. Congratulations to Jamie Foxx for finding a way to make Right Wing Religious Nuts go crazy.

Bully Boy Bolling is just another Right Wing Religious Nut to go crazy. Congratulations, Jamie Foxx, for getting Bully Boy Bolling to display faux outrage.

Then Fox “News” blew its online dog whistle, knowing exactly what would happen. Remembering Jesus Christ’s advice to “turn the other cheek,” all the rabid Fox “News” Religious Nuts went crazy and posted some of the most amazingly racist comments. Congratulations, Jamie Foxx, you showed them all up for what they really are.

The Republicans lost the election. Any further intrasigence will only make them look more foolish and petty than they already do. That’ll make the 2014 elections very interesting.

Two things: 1). Kraut the Hammer did not make a fool out of him; 2). Mark Shields is not a “Lib Columnist.”

Old Stupid White Men! Mendacious Mitt had the Old Stupid White Men vote all sewn up.

Only at Fox “News” could they deny that the Republicans had a War on Women, and then suddenly promote this absurd article that promulgates the concept that women have a War on Men. That’s why it’s Bizarro World, folks.

Where’s all your faux righteous indignation, Bully Boy? 

When pig racing is outlawed, only outlaws will race pigs.

Tim Allen made the same kind of joke about taxes that every comedian has made since taxes were levied. That’s why Fox “News” needed to turn it into a national news story. 

More sore losers.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Here’s the cheesecake!!! Why’d you make me wait until Tuesday morning?

Here’s the faux outrage cheesecake!!! Why’d you make me wait until Tuesday morning, Bully Boy?

Comedy gold: Send Jesse Watters out with a video camera and get him to ask stupid questions of stupid people. Then edit the 4 hours of video into the silliest 2 minutes and thirty seconds in which everyone looks even stupider than Jesse Watters. It can’t miss.

She’s upset the president is not dropping water off at her house ever day. This is also an example of how Fox “News” will use anyone’s pain if they can turn it into attacking President Obama. We saw it with the attack in Benghazi and we are seeing it with the clean-up with Hurricane Sandy.

Shep Smith is the most “fair and balanced” personality in the Fox “News” Bizarro World and yet even he must understand that asking this question of the brain-dead Fox “News” audience will only elicit a slanted response.

New regulations? Be afraid!!! Ne very afraid!!!

And yet it’s still the worst show on tee vee since “My Mother The Car,”which Loofah Lad viewers previously voted the worst show on tee vee.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! The “fiscal cliff” isn’t a cliff at all, but Fox “News” wants you to fear it anyway.

Nothing is going to make these Three Stooges move off their Fox “News” created attack of the U.N. Ambassador.

They were just trying to see who had the most orange skin colour. Once again John Boehner wins in a landslide.

What Laura Ingraham won’t tell you: Mendacious Mitt Romney was the Number One Least Influential Person in 2012.

TRANSLATION: I’m quitting before they fire me for my atrocious ratings.

And, as soon as Fox “News” tells them what they are, they can tell Fox “News” which questions Ambassador Rice left unanswered.

Someone told me the twice-married, twice-divorced Catholic Kimberly Guilfoyle was also once a Victoria’s Secret model. That’s got ot be from an Onion article, right?

TRANSLATION: We hate it when the president uses the Bully Pulpit against us.

Because we all know how “Fair & Balanced” she can be.

The Republicans don’t need the presidents help.

Wednesday cheesecake.

Fill in the blank? No ideas of your own for faux outrage, Bully Boy?

Just like clockwork: Fox “News” heats up its annual Phony War on Christmas.

President Obama outlined his plan and ran the election on it. What’s the GOP plan, other than obstreperousness?

There’s the faux outrage I’ve been looking for. Really, Bully boy? You were shocked? You, who called President Obama a “thug”? You who said the president had been pounding back 40s with gold-toothed criminals in the “hizzy house”? Yet, calling Lindsey Graham a woman shocked you, Bully Boy? Get a grip.

So far, it’s not been much of a cover-up because every Fox “News” created Benghazi Lie has fallen apart.

Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera! A very funny interview in which Loofah Lad loses his cool and calls the atheist a Fascist because he wants Christmas and religion to be taken out of the public sphere. This is also the first time The Falafel King advanced his new specious and spurious claim that The War on Christmas is really a War on Philosophy because Christianity [Are you ready?] is not a religion, it’s a philosophy. Have you ever heard such crazy shit it your life? Me neither. Not since the last time when Loofah Lad said, “Tides go in. Tides go out. Never a miscommunication” as his proof of God’s continued existence.

This is the same video as before, but now it’s labeled “cruelest man alive.”

We really have to talk about what’s considered acceptable cheesecake, Ainsley Earworm.

Nobody’s meddling with Christmas, Loofah Lad. People just want it to be kept out of the public sphere. Have whatever kind of Christmas you like. Just keep it out of my face.




Sean Scammity plays with a loaded deck that contains nothing but Race Cards. Sean Scammity has been playing the Race Card against President Obama for more than 4 years, but he’s going to attack MSNBC for pointing out the obvious.

I guess it would be churlish of me to suggest that President Dubya had already taken about a year off by this point in his administration, right?

Carrying the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas to ridiculous extremes.

Even a broken clock is right some times.

DON’T TELL ME WHAT KIND OF FRIDAY TO HAVE!!! How’s that for faux outrage, Bully Boy?

I don’t want to take anything away from Officer DePrimo’s wonderful act of kindness. However, I couldn’t help but laugh as they started this interview, long after the officer was seated next to Steve Doocy during the commercial, how Doocy had to make a big ON AIR show of shaking the officer’s hand. Watch Doocy’s face during the interview. He’s clearly in love with Officer Larry DePrimo and wants to be able to get a room together, I’m sure.

But, Steve Doocy will have to settle for a picture. I wonder if Doocy had a body part autographed, though.

Steve Doocy going all “Fan Boy” on Officer DePrimo also appealed to a Fox “News” producer.

Dr. K is Kraut the Hammer.

Grover Norquist is still flapping his gums and Fox “News” is stil treating him like he matters, even though the GOP is leaving him behind.

ZAKLY!!! Get out of the way and let the President be President.

Why are the Republicans acting like they won the election?

I’m hoping you, and all your other little Fox “News” buddies, will provide endless faux outrage today.

It’s hard to work up any faux outrage over that.

Now you’re talking!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

It’s hard to work up any faux outrage over that.

Now you’re talking!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Guns don’t kill people. Fooball kills people. And come next Monday Bob Costas will be the most hated man on Fox “News” after the treatment you and Fox and Friends give him.

Dunno, why don’t you tell us, Loofah Lad.

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

I’ll give you a tip: Stop lying to your brain-dead viewers.

That’s a full day for anybody, Bully Boy. However, there’s always time for faux outrage. What would EricChase say?

And remember: You can probably always buy it from the cameramen.

This is rich. I’ll save you the trouble of clicking through because NPR didn’t really say it. NPR merely quoted another piece of idiocy from Allen West. Soon-to-be-ex-Florida Rep. West said that both he and Abraham Lincoln were one term Congressmen. Isn’t that precious?

And, sadly, that’s how the week ended: with a whimper from what had been one of the more blustery members of the House. Fox “News” could barely muster the faux outrage, even though there was nudity and Christmas trees under attack. However, there’s 3 more weeks to ramp up the Phony War on Christmas. That never fails to bring the faux outrage.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.