Judge Not 10 ► Guns
Judge Andy in unretouched pic
taken directly from my tee vee screen

As last week’s exciting episode of Judge Not came to a close, our erstwhile hero Judge Andy had already begun to observe Radio Silence, which started as soon as the magnitude of the massacre in Newtown became known. 

While it’s clearly against the Aunty Em Ericann blog employee rules, all the Judge Not unpaid interns took a long, liquid lunch at the same time (leaving the phones to ring off the hook) to argue and speculate how long it would be before The Laughing Libertarian was back to messaging. More importantly, they organized an office pool on how long it would be before Judge Nap broached the issue of guns again. As it turned out, that happened the very next day with his second message. [I’d tell you who won the pool, but I don’t think they plan to declare their winnings. Therefore, it’s best if it remains an office secret. Besides,] I fired all the interns and hired new ones. I’ll teach them to have a long, liquid lunch without me.

On a personal note: Last week’s Judge Not blog post was promoted twice during the week on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog. Thank you so much. It’s quite an honour and I’ll try not to disappoint our mutual, faithful readers.

Now, take it away Judge Andy:

There are no innocent ‘Merkins.

Guns! It was only a day after the Newtown Massacre that Judge Andy felt the need to defend guns, using another famous Libertarian to do so, rather than to make his position clear. Careful there, Judge Andy: Penn Jillette has also come out strongly against the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas AND the whole concept of God and religion. Are you really sure you want to embrace his views?

This is another selectively edited version of a person’s remarks, which my faithful readers recognize as the Reich Wing Breitbartian tactic it is. Follow along:

A deceptive edit is an attempt to discredit everything else that was said. In this case it’s the single word “exploit” without any other context. The interview was actually quite reasonable (IMHO) about the issue of gun control versus the Second Amendment. However, Judge Nap doesn’t want his brain-dead followers to know that someone is being reasonable about gun control. Judge Andy just wants his brain-dead followers to KNOW President Obama is coming for their guns. Consequently, he’ll pass along a Washington Times (!) article with a Breitbartian headline taking a single word out of all context whatsoever.

This is proof positive why Judge Nap cannot be trusted. He’s not a “fair and balanced” adjudicator. He has his thumbs on the scales to get his brain-dead followers to believe certain things which are not entirely true. And, he’s happy to do it.

Were you this vocal about The Patriot Act, Judge Nap, at the time? Or, were you one of those ‘Merkins who supported the war in Iraq, rendition, the Guantanamo Gulag, and the whole Security Industrial Complex?

In all honesty (and I don’t know why you never reply to any of my questions), do you really think laws that would ban 30-round ammunition clips and certain types of ammunition are unconstitutional? Do you think making it as hard to get a gun as get a driver’s license would be unconstitutional? Do you see all gun control measures as unconstitutional? Take your time, Judge Nap.

And the typo, Judge Nap? FORGIVEN, because I’m sure to make some in my lifetime.

What do YOU think, Judge Nap? I wish you would enlighten us on your feelings, as opposed to passing along what others say to maintain a modicum of plausible deniability.

This is the first of my two appearances on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog this week. It’s a seminal honour to appear on this blog because the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today site is set up (apparently) by a Judge Andy Libertarian Lap Dog™.

Days before Head NRA Gun Nut Wayne LaPierre said the only answer to gun violence was more guns, people like Judge Andy, among other Fox “News” personalities, were already promoting that solution.

Not to be outdone NASA has announced its new defense against asteroids hitting the Earth. Everybody will be able to possess their own asteroids.

The Washington Times, also mentioned above, is an almost slavishly Reich Wing publication masquerading as a news source. Why does that sound familiuar? Anyway, the Washington Times reviewed Judge Andy’s new book. To no one’s surprise, it liked it. It liked it a lot!!!

Where do I sign up for my tin foil hat? I’ve read several articles about this and I have yet to find any credible sourcing. While I cannot say it’s NOT true, it all has the feeling of Black Helicopters and FEMA Concentration Camps.

Would you be at all surprised to find out the article didn’t actually say gun control was racist? It did, however, make the point that gun control has been used historically to take away the guns of minorities, while leaving those of the majority intact.

Judge Nap never fails to pass along TSA silliness. However, he has never answered my question of “What would you replace the TSA with?” The undeniable truth is this: If we had the TSA secure the nation’s schools we wouldn’t to place armed guards in every one.

I can’t tell whether Judge Andy thinks this was a good idea, or a bad one.

Remember the mind-set of the Founders: they only knew breach-loading rifles, which took time to reload. Had they known of 30-round clips in assault rifles, and seen the carnage they cause, the Founding Fathers might have been smart enough to have done something about regulating them.

At any rate, Judge Nap, this is just another silly red herring. If you want to cling to your guns (and religion?) as a check against a potentially tyrannical central government, might I just remind you that the other side has tanks? And, that’s just for starters. If you get really obnoxious they can use tactical nuclear weapons to take your sorry ass out. Why do you think your littler pea-shooter, whatever the hell it is, will be any match for the government?

Here’s another one for you to answer, Judge: Who in a position of power has actually advocated confiscating guns? You’re just trying to stir up the emotions of your brain-dead followers.

But . . . but . . . but . . . I would have thought this would make you happy. Sure it’s a crazy idea, that is also unconstitutional to boot, but at least she’s half-way to your position of thinking we need guns in all schools. Now all you have to do is convince her to give guns to all the janitorial staff. Or, maybe, all school cafeteria workers. Or, even better, arm all school nurses who can not only kill intruders, but can also treat anyone injured by them.

Truth? That’s rich, Judge Nap? You serve to mislead. However, feel free to tell my faithful readers the truth, Judge Nap: Who in the White House (which you’ve pictured wearing a turban? What the hell is that?) wants to ban guns?

Because the only answer to guns is more guns and what might work in Texas is perfectly applicable to Detroit or New York or any other place in ‘Merka.

Izzat a good thing, or a bad thing, Judge Nap? Is Scientology a cult which needs investigating, or is it a government intrusion on freedom of religion?

It would be more accurate to say, “Your cellphone is capable of spying on you.” However, that wouldn’t play into Judge Nap’s desire to make you afraid of your government.

What does this have to do with guns? You’re slipping, Judge.

Yet, as long as it remains a Republic people can vote the leadership out. So, what’s your point again?

Once again, we’ll forgive the typo, Judge Nap. However, let me give you a little tip. If you are going to adopt as your cause a Marine who allegedly broke Mexican law, you could at THE VERY LEAST spell his first name right. Jon Hammar was being held according to Mexican law. If tee vee hosts in, f’rinstance, Great Britain started to agitate for the release of a ‘Merkin prisoner who had yet to stand trial on criminal charges, Fox “News” personalities would be the first to tell them to “Shut the fuck up.” Yet, Fox “News” took on Jon Hammar’s cause, despite the fact that its only source of information on what laws he may have broken and how he was being treated came from his mother, who kept calling it “a clerical error.”

See article below.

And, it’s this kind of thoughtless defense of the Second Amendment that makes Judge Andy a Libertarian hero.

Judge, I have to ask again: Who has proposed a gun ban? Who is trying to take away your guns?

And, this is how my weekend ended, with another promotion of my Judge Not series over at the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today blog. I just want them to know I will do everything in my power to stay true to the site’s confusing and wordy motto of “NEWS FOR THINKING HUMANS & AN ARMY OF 2000+ CITIZEN NEWS SPOTTERS TO BRING OUT THE REAL NEWS!”

If Judge Nap ever wants to answer any of my questions, he knows where to find me. If he doesn’t, he can just ask the government which, I’m sure, has a complete dossier on someone who used the nom de plume Aunty Em Ericann for 7 years.

Next year the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas will be fought with assault rifles.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.