Judge Not 6 ► This Week’s Pop Quiz
“Give your tired, poor snark to the
huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

Each week, as my Judge Not series has grown in popularity, Judge Nap’s output has declined considerably.  I sure hope I have not been inhibiting him.

Judge Nap knows the only reason I spun him off into his own HIGH-LARRY-US sitcom/blog series was because he was so damned prolific. When compiling screen caps for The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, Judge Nap was the single most verbose Foxite, with more than 100 posts in one week, which was a third of the output of everyone else at the station combined. That’s why this Fox Snark Series™ seemed like a good idea. Comedy gold.

However, this week: just 22 measly captures, several of which were duplicates.

I’m warning you now, Judge Andy. If you won’t cooperate in matching the output of those earlier, happier, halcyon days of President Obama’s 1st term, EmTV will drop this series like a bad Glenn Beck Conspiracy Theory.

Yes. Next question.

How did they do that, Judge?

Secession is all the rage now that President Obama has been reelected. There are certainly a lot of sore losers.

President? Really?

Here’s the deal, Judge Nap: It’s not George Soro’s MoveOn and this is bullshit. Furthermore: you know it’s bullshit. Will you correct the record or are you content to leave the lie?

The lawmaker who wrote that bill says it was designed to do just the opposite.

Buy Judge Nap’s book and save ‘Merka.

Who cut the cheese? I’m surprised Judge Nap is still pushing this false narrative.

Kilemeade: “If this catches on, I want to get paid in zinc.”

Chief among them: Are there really that many sore losers in ‘Merka?

Reclaim? I hadn’t realized my right to buy books had been taken away. God given rights? Are you one of those who say the Constitution was divinely inspired, Judge? I’m not sure how you can square rational Libertarianism with belief in a Sky God.

I’d take away the Fox “News” White House Press Pass entirely, but that’s just me.

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

Get out your Number Two pencil and answer this one, Judge Nap. Which laws should rule supreme?
A. The various states which have relaxed marijuana laws?
B. The Feds, which classifies weed as a Class One Narcotic.
C. The United Nations, which has its own concerns about legalization?
D. None of the above?
E. All of the above?
Take your time.

The TSA is the agency everybody loves to hate. Get out your Number Two pencil and answer this one, Judge Nap. Essay question. What would you would replace it with? Take your time.

Get out your Number Two pencil and answer this one, Judge Nap. Explain in 25 words or less the difference between a police helicopter and a police drone. Take your time.

Get out your Number Two pencil and answer this one, Judge Nap. Is the Constitution divinely inspired? Bonus question: By which God?

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

What do you think about the subsidies taxpayers give to Wal*Mart workers in things like Health Care and Food Stamps because working at Wal*Mart doesn’t pay a livable wage?

Who cut the cheese? Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! The extreme right and Libertarians want everyone to think social safety nets and Health Care reform is Socialism and the destruction of ‘Merka. Be afraid of the 47%!!! Be very afraid of the 47%!!!

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.