Tag Archives: Fox News Snark

Eric Bolling Is A Dick ► Fox “News” Snark

UPDATE: Eric “Bully Boy” Bolling has now been suspended from Fox “News” pending the outcome of an internal investigation. Earlier story:

Uh oh! News broke overnight that Eric “Bully Boy” Bolling — who does double-duty on Fox “News” as pugilist and racist — has been sending out dick pics.

Like, Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly before him, Bolling may not be employed by the mendacious Trump-supporting network much longer. Not to belabour the point (because I’ve got other stuff to say below) HufPo has the goods, which has now been picked up by many news orgs:

Recipients of the photo confirmed its contents to HuffPost, which is not revealing their identities. The women, who are Bolling’s current and former Fox colleagues, concluded the message was from him because they recognized his number from previous work-related and informal interactions. The messages were sent several years ago, on separate occasions.

The women did not solicit the messages, which they told colleagues were deeply upsetting and offensive. One of the recipients said that when she replied to Bolling via text, telling him never to send her such photos again, he did not respond. Four people, outside of the recipients, confirmed to HuffPost they’d seen the photo, and eight others said the recipients had spoken to them about it.

For this story, HuffPost spoke to 14 sources in and out of Fox News and Fox Business, all of whom spoke on the condition of anonymity either because they currently work at the networks and aren’t allowed to speak to members of the press without prior authorization or because they have confidentiality agreements with Fox News and its parent company 21st Century Fox.

You’d think if Bully Boy sent out such pictures, he’d remember. And, if he didn’t send any, he’d remember that, too. But…

When asked whether Bolling at any point had sent unsolicited lewd or inappropriate text messages or emails (including an image of a man’s genitalia) to Fox News or Fox Business colleagues, his attorney Michael J. Bowe responded, “Mr. Bolling recalls no such inappropriate communications, does not believe he sent any such communications, and will vigorously pursue his legal remedies for any false and defamatory accusations that are made.”

The weird formulation “does not believe he sent any such communication” is not exactly a full-throated denial, is it? Oh! And, he’s lawyered

No matter. It’s just more proof Bully Boy is a walking dick, welcome to sue me for all those times I’ve written about him. However, he’ll never read this because the coward blocked me long ago.

IRONY ALERT!!! As my former-employer NewsHounds points out:

Oh, and wouldn’t you just know that Bolling has been an outspoken critic of fellow dick-pic dick, Anthony Weiner? Just a few months ago, as HuffPost noted, Bolling told his Fox News Specialists cohosts that Mr. Weiner is “a sick human being” who seems “pathological.”

This reporter has been writing Fox “News” criticism for 9 years. From this vantage point I predict that Bolling’s firing, if that comes to pass — and why wouldn’t it? — will be the final calving of what was once the monolithic Fox “News” iceberg.

Two years ago I identified the first public fissures. While there had always been rumours of tension between various personalities behind the scenes, it broke out into the open soon after Emperor Trump descended the Golden Escalator — to mix among the proletariat he never took notice of before. He had yet had to mesmerize the GOP to cinch the nomination and before the Basket of Deplorables flipped the bird to Lady Liberty and put this tweeting charlatan into the Offal Orifice. With the help of the Russians, of course.

Bolling was one of Trump’s earliest brown-nosers and a self-proclaimed personal friend. All the way back in June of 2015, on The Five (which I predicted wouldn’t last), Bully Boy was (as he always does) trying to normalize Trump’s crazy speeches. That’s when “Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” Perino slapped him for his unbelievable Trump-kissing.

Then they moved on, like they always do on The Five, just when the infighting is getting good. Watch the whole thing [because it’s such a wonderful Trump Time Capsule™ from just 2 years ago], but the money shot starts at the 8:26 mark if you want to skip ahead:

See how quickly they moved on? Was that an edit, or just a clever call from the Control Room? QUICK!!! ROLL TAPE!!! We report, you decide.

While they may have moved on, their individual audiences never did. From the very next day — virtually immediately — I noticed snarking between Bully Boy Bros and the Perino Pixies on various comment threads. The sniping over the next several weeks became rather viscous before it settled down. Not that the feelings ever went away. However, this was the earliest Trumpian fissure I can identify.

Since then there’s been a lot of changes at Fox, many of which had Trumpian undercurrents due to “pussy grabbing” in the corporate offices of ‘Merka’s self-proclaimed cultural scold: Ailes out. Then dead. O’Reilly out. Still alive. Meggy gone (and now flaming out). Van Susteren gone (and gone again). Subsequent programming changes. The Five moves to 9PM. Bully Boy Bolling moves to The Specialists at 5pm. There he and his 2 female co-hosts invite people totally out of their depth to opine on the news of the day. Those extra fools are the titular “specialists.” Yeah, I know. But that’s the truth. The Specialists begins to sink in the ratings after Day One. But, more importantly for my thesis, Bolling’s fans (on comment threads) have been sniping at co-hosts Katherine Timpf and Eboni Williams. And, vice versa. More fissures.

Naturally, this will all be labeled FAKE NEWS by True Trump Believers, who are also Bolling Believers. That is right up until the public release of the dick pics (ala Anthony Weiner) and/or Bully Boy Bolling no longer has a Bully Pulpit for Emperor Bully Trump. Then the real Fox “News” internecine war will begin.

Pass the popcorn!!!

Putting the Kill in Kilmeade ► Fox News Snark

Unretouched photo by author of Brain Brian Kilmeade

It’s no secret I am an obsessive Fox & Friends viewer, even the inferior-in-every-way weekend edition.

I watch it alternating between raucous laughter at just how stupid the average Fox “News” viewer is to buy that crap and sheer horror at just how stupid the average Fox “News” viewer is to buy that crap.

No one on the Curvy Couch makes me laugh as much as Brian “The Brain” Kilmeade.

TO BE FAIR: Sometimes he is intentionally funny — like the class clown sitting in the back of the room. He’s jocular. That may come from his past life as a sports reporter, aka jock supporter. I get the impression that in locker rooms he would have been a towel-snapping-grab-her-by-the-pussy type.

At other times Kilmeade says something horribly racist, or sexist, or homophobic, or just plain stupid. The Wiki has an incomplete list, as does NewsHounds (my former employer). There’s no need to dwell on it because it’s all over the innertubes.

The Not Now Silly Newsroom has never covered Kilmeade before, ‘cepting tangentially in the fondly remembered Headlines Du Jour series. Yet, Kilmeade fascinates me in a way that no other Foxy Friend does.

Lately my guilty pleasure is following Kilmeade’s Facebook Live videos. I’ve even programmed my phone to give me a noisy notification when it happens, so I can watch it no matter where in the world I happen to be.

Clearly I need help, but that’s another topic for another time.

Here’s what I’ve discovered by watching F&F on my tee vee while watching Kilmeade on my phone:

The notification always goes off during a commercial. While the other Foxy Friends are preparing for a serious interview on the set that would be spoiled by a goofball’s constant interjections, Kilmeade is sent out into the hallway to cool his heels. That’s when my phone goes off and I get the notification that Kilmeade has launched another Facebook Live. He uses this Time Out to pimp his Fox “News” radio show called “Kilmeade and Friends,” in a desperate attempt to make it appear he actually has friends.

On the Facebook Live comment threads I’ve made several trolling remarks in the past, but they were clearly negative. Only the slowest of his slow fans have taken the bait on the comment threads. However, today I changed tactics. I didn’t go negative.

When Kilmeade mentioned James Rosen, I wrote:

Then Brain Brian Kilmeade — biting the hand that feeds and clothes him — started to whine about his crappy, boxy shirts that he admitted Fox “News” supplies for FREE. That’s when I snarked:

This is how Kilmeade’s Facebook Live went over the air clouds in real time. Listen for mention of both of my comments:

They got my name wrong. It’s Headly!!! Not Heedly!!!

It’s been a fun day so far.

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #3

Welcome to the 3rd Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Points Memo.  

Loofah Lad squeezes out a load like this one every single day and calls it a Talking Point Memo. It’s always interesting to read between the lines in order to figure out WTF he’s really saying when he’s pontificating. Freud could have had a field day with him. Since Freud is not here, I’ll give it a shot.

Today’s topic: O’Reilly called it “White Grievance and the Republican Party.” I call it, “In How Many New Ways Can I Defend My Good Buddy Donald J. Trump While Blowing Dog Whistles?” Let’s get right to it, shall we?

All the polls say the same thing: Donald Trump’s rise is being fueled
largely by white men who are angry with both political parties.

Not to mention all that free publicity the media has given him, especially on Fox “News” with all the softball interviews he gets there. Like on your show, f’rinstance Bill O. I can’t wait to see how you WHITEwash all of this on behalf of your vanilla milkshake buddy. Go on. Entertain me.

At this point 47% of Republican women say they will not vote for Mr. Trump, according to a Wall Street Journal/NBC poll.

Which merely proves women are the smarter gender, but not all women.

So it is the guys who have catapulted the candidate to the top of the Republican primary pack.

According to the Washington Post, Donald Trump is favored by 50% of
Republican voters who make less than $50,000 a year, most of them men.

Also, Mr. Trump is supported by just 32% of Republicans who have
college degrees, according to polling from 20 Republican primary states.

So you can see that Trump’s support is largely coming from working-class white men who feel aggrieved.

I tend to think of them as working-class White men who have been brainwashed into thinking they’re aggrieved. I look at them as soft racists — if not actually hardcore racists — who see equality as a zero sum game: If a group of folks are having their Civil Rights respected, these fools somehow think something is being taken away from them.

Now we’ve seen this before.  The black grievance industry is a powerful presence in America.

Wait!!! What???  Did you just change the topic to create a false equivalency?

That group sells the notion that most problems in the
African-American precincts are caused by white people and historical

OH, MY!!!

You actually did change the topic to create a false equivalency. And then you blew your dog whistle. Let’s unpack your White Privilege, shall we Mr. Falafel? Because only a White man who doesn’t recognize his White Privilege would allow such manure to escape from his lips.

Are you saying there was no racism in the country? Or, are you saying that racism is over?

I’m so glad we’re living in a post-racial society. FINALLY!!! /sarcasm

Listen, Loofah Lad: Even if one were to buy your bullshit argument that there are are no legitimate grievances in “African-American precincts” to be attributed to “White people and historical oppression,” can you not see how that “historic oppression” has continued to create an uneven playing field when it comes to wealth creation and inheritances, not to mention the quality of neighbourhoods that each group tend to live within?

While the media gives that view a lot of attention, most African-Americans reject the propaganda.

And, you’ll prove that, right?

A recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation says that 61% of
American blacks believe the breakup of the African-American family is a
major reason for the economic deprivation and social problems in the
black community.

Wait just a gosh darn minute. You do realize that both can be true at the same time, doncha?

Just because 61% of Black folk “believe the breakup of the African-American family is a major reason for the economic deprivations and social problems in the Black community” (and, I’ll assume your number is correct despite the many fibs you’ve told over the years), doesn’t mean that Black folk don’t also recognize, and fully understand, the “historic oppression” that got them there.

One fact does not negate the other. Unless you’re just blowing another dog whistle in which facts are manipulated to create a false narrative.

Oh, wait!

I thought this was going to be about your good friend Trump’s aggrieved constituency: Poor, uneducated, racist voters. Sorry I interrupted.

On the white side the issue is similar.

Here we go. Back on topic. Thank you.

Many white Americans believe that illegal immigration hurts their job
prospects and are angered by changing neighborhoods and social

And, there’s your false equivalency in a nut shell, asshole.

You’ve just alluded to the fact that Black folk have no right to feel aggrieved because they only have themselves to blame — and they even admit it — but White folk are legitimately spooked by “changing neighborhoods [sic] and social patterns”. In your false equivalency you’re not even giving equal weight to both sides in your false argument. You see nothing wrong with that as long as it helps Trump. Just another reason you’re a hack, as I correctly called you in The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #2.

Their refrain is often, I want my country back.

Back to when Black folk knew their place, perhaps?

These voters are tired of seeing welfare doled out to people who are not motivated to succeed.

How many dog whistles you got?

They are angry that terrorists are not being contained.

Doncha mean radical Islamist terrorists? And, what does “contained” even mean in such an asymmetrical war?

Oh, and, Muslim dog whistle.

They see the Republican Party as largely cowardly in the face of political correctness.

I see the people who reject political correctness as saying, “Rude as I wanna be,” just like the meme to the right I tricked up back in August.

Incidentally, I love how you’re using the word “they,” but you’re really not only talking about yourself, but using this Talking Point Memo to excuse the worst aspects of Trump’s campaign. Like weaving in “political correctness”.

Remember when your friend Trump said he had no time to be politically correct? The Anti-PC Police Squad™ has long been a fixture of the Fox “News” Channel, as you must know.

Never mind. You were saying. Any more reasons why White folk are the real victims and only your pal Donald Trump can save us?

The white grievance crew also believes they are being oppressed economically and that nobody is looking out for them.

But, you’re looking out for us, aren’t you Mr. Falafel? You’ll tell us what to believe and who to believe, won’t you?

Enter Donald Trump, who vividly reflects the anger, who has criticized his own party for being weak.

Now both the black and white grievance movements have some legitimate points.

Wait! That’s not what you said above. You were dismissive of the Black grievance industry.

Anyway, do go on. My eyes can’t roll any farther away than they have already. How are Blacks folks’ grievances legitimate? This should be good.

There is no question that in poor black neighborhoods schools are generally deficient because the property tax base is low.

So poor black children are not being educated as well as affluent children.

That’s true.

Yes, it’s true. And, why is that, you obtuse piece of crap?

Because of systemic and ongoing racism!!!

U.S. cities look the way they do — and the property taxes are such — because of White Flight, redlining, just two aspects of the “historic oppression” that you blithely dismissed out of hand as of no consequence.

You also seem to feel that systemic racism has been eradicated, when it clearly has not been. Otherwise, poor Black children would be as educated as poor White children, never mind any stupid false equivalency with affluent White children.

On the white side, here’s a simple example: The Republican Party did
not get behind Kate’s Law, which would have harshly punished illegal
alien felons who defy deportation.


How did we get from that to one of your pet projects, not to mention one of your favourite Muslim dog whistles?

It doesn’t matter because you just — once again — pointed out your own racism. Answer me this, Sherlock, how is this strictly a White issue? If it’s as important as you say it is, shouldn’t it cross all racial lines? 

While GOP senators like Grassley, McCain and Cruz did actively try to
get Kate’s Law passed, the Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell did

And in general Republican politicians did not raise the flag on this issue.

I mean, when you control both houses of Congress and you cannot get Kate’s Law passed, there is a serious problem.

Or, maybe it’s just a stupid law that you are championing. But, again, you’re just playing defense for your BFF Trump. The funniest part is that you actually believe you are in the No Spin Zone. My eyes are spinning from where you’ve taken this Talking Points Memo.

Again, Donald Trump has tapped into that chaos.

Thank goodness we’re back on topic.

Going forward, Mr. Trump’s nomination is not a lock.

Thank goodness there are still smart people in this country who are banding together to stop this demagogue before it’s too late. First they came for the Mexicans . . .

He has made mistakes and will have to win over millions of Americans who do not believe he is qualified.

The majority of ‘Merkins don’t believe he’s qualified and if he somehow manages to snag the GOP nomination, which is starting to look less and less likely, he will be destroyed in the General Election. And, the GOP will be on the endangered species list, especially if the Republican Convention becomes a brokered one. [Pass the popcorn.]

If you believe the polls, Mr. Trump is in for a rough day tomorrow in Wisconsin.

Let’s hope so.

That being said, the issue of white grievance is not going away and Trump will maintain a loyal level of support.

Among the poor, uneducated, xenophobic racists that want to make ‘Merka great again. Everyone else, as you have already made the case above, are fleeing from this sinking ship.

Many of his supporters are furious, and if Mr. Trump does not get the
nomination, the stay-home vote next November is likely to be

Pass the popcorn.

And that’s the memo. [Transcript provided by Bill O’Reilly.]

And that’s my answer, ‘cept:

Don’t you get winded blowing so many dog whistles, Loofah Lad? After all, you’re not a young man anymore. But, you’re still an aggrieved racist White man.

Bill O’Reilly and Flavor Flav ► Throwback Thursday

Happy birthday to Flavor Flav, born and named William Jonathan Drayton, Jr., 57 years ago today.

There’s a strange nexus between Flavor Flav and the Fox “News” Channel which requires further explanation.

When I first started writing for NewsHounds — under the nom de blog Aunty Em Ericann — one of the bizarre rumours I heard concerned Flavor Flav and Bill O’Reilly, who would prefer to DO IT LIVE!!!

The crazy rumour was this: That before Maureen E. McPhilmy married Bill O’Reilly — aka Loofah Lad — she once dated Flavor Flav. I know! Right?

This was the kind of job the Not Now Silly Newsroom was made for and I set out to get this wacky story confirmed or denied.

It took a while, but I finally got Flavor Flav ON THE RECORD concerning this rumour. He denied wholeheartedly that he ever dated the ex-wife of the Falafel King, but it certainly made him laugh. It made me laugh, too. Still does.

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #2

Welcome to the 2nd Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo

The Falafel King drops one of these piles every weekday and, if I were so inclined, I could answer him every day, but life’s too short for that. Today, Loofah Lad wants to pontificate on the The State of the Republican Party, but he’s really defending his good buddy, Donald J. Trump.

I have to say I’m a bit surprised that Don Rickles is now apparently a Republican contender.

I’m not. I’m just surprised that someone who has called hundreds — maybe thousands — of people “pinheads” would be concerned about the mud being thrown in the GOP race. This is merely your attempt at a false equivalency in order to deflecting from Trump’s hateful comments about Mexicans, Muslims, women, John McCain, the handicapped, Megyn Kelly, and everyone else he’s attacked over the years. However, do play us a supercut your staff put together of how they’re all doing it.

DONALD TRUMP: “So I’m looking at little Marco and I’m saying man there’s something happening with him and he’s like melting.”


MARCO RUBIO: “He’s always calling me little Marco.  I’ll admit, he’s taller than me – he’s like 6’2’’ – which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2’’.” (LAUGHS) ((EDIT)) And you know what they say about men with small hands?”


TRUMP: “You had to see him backstage.  He was putting on makeup with a trowel! (Mimics using a roller to apply his makeup) ((EDIT)) I will not say that he was trying to cover up his ears!”


RUBIO: “He doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he uses!”

Now that’s not exactly the Lincoln-Douglas debate is it?

Well, no. It’s not even in Kennedy-Nixon territory. Hell, it’s not even the neighbourhood of the Bentsen-Quayle debate.

However, you have called people names for decades. Stop clutching your pearls and take credit for the coarsening of the ‘Merkin Culture you brought about.

Oh, wait. You have an alternate theory, doncha?

But here’s why it’s happening:

Oh, this should be good. Do tell.

In the beginning of the campaign, Donald Trump did something very brilliant.  He staked out two essential issues that he knew Republican voters were angry about: the border and the economy.

But rather than getting into policy, Mr. Trump kept it simple.  He’ll build a wall and deport illegal aliens.

He’ll make deals that will turn the economy around and punish countries like China and Mexico that he believes are treating the USA unfairly.

That quickly got the new candidate a lot of attention and criticism.

To be fair: It got your vanilla milkshake drinking BFF a lot of attention and even more valid criticism. However, I hardly think spewing racism and xenophobia is very brilliant. That’s when this whole race started going south — both puns intended.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to drinking my M-Fing ice tea. Forget I interrupted.

Then what, Loofah Lad?

Trump then immediately counter-attacked, using hot rhetoric that most politicians would never even consider.

Which you continue to defend to this very day. It’s not presidential. Of course, you’d be having a fit if any Democratic candidate said anything slightly critical of Donald Trump.

That got him even more popularity.  The more he insulted, the higher his poll numbers climbed.

Historians will be trying to figure this election out for decades to come. Is this the year Racism and Xenophobia trump logic and good governance?

So he’s two for two.  He chooses emotional issues, simplifying them for potential voters, then scorches anyone who doesn’t like it.

That’s not why he scorches people, you sanctimonious liar. He scorches people because he’s a narcissistic psychopath.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading the Paris Business Review.

Even if you don’t like Mr. Trump, you have to admit the strategy has been brilliant and he would not be leading in the polls today if he had not employed it.

It’s only a brilliant strategy if you admire appealing to people’s fears and worse instincts.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading about Dr. Tiller’s murder. 

The other Republican candidates were taken by surprise as he hammered Jeb Bush and anyone else Trump considered to be a rival.

After months of watching Trump’s poll numbers go up, finally Senators Rubio and Cruz began to counterattack in the same way.

The problem for both Rubio and Cruz is that Americans do not know them, and the media has paid so much attention to Donald Trump that getting well known is almost impossible.

Unless of course you hurl insults, which is what Marco Rubio is now doing.

No. The problem is that Rubio and Cruz left it far too late to start telling the truth and attacking your racist and xenophobic milkshake buddy, Donald J. Trump. BTW: I think it’s telling that they are vanilla milkshakes. You can buy those Freudian Slips at Frederick’s of Hollywood.

Sorry, I interrupted again. Go ahead, let’s hear more of your bullshit false equivalency.

For his part Cruz is hammering Trump in a different way:

TED CRUZ: “There have been multiple media reports about Donald’s business dealings with the mob, with the mafia.  Maybe his taxes show those business dealings are a lot more extensive than has been reported.”

Now I don’t believe anyone’s tax returns are going to give insight into organized crime.  Mr. Cruz obviously casting aspersions on Mr. Trump.

Aspersions? It’s well-documented that Trump’s companies dealt with other companies that were mobbed-up. The tax returns may not show that, but you get Bonus Points for deflection, Mr. Falafel King.

But all of this negative stuff hasn’t really altered the race so far.

Because, as I said above, it’s too little, too late. Cruz and Rubio should have been hammering Trump on his bankruptcies, Trump University, the KKK, and his freakishly small hands starting last year. Now it just looks like tit-for-tat mud slinging and almost nothing is getting traction, even Trump’s latest smears on his opponents.

Recent polls say Mr. Trump is leading in all the Super Tuesday states with the exception of Texas, Ted Cruz’s home state.

Which is why ‘Merka is becoming a laughing stock all over again around the world. You thought George W. Bush was reviled around the world? There are already countries who are working to make YOUR FRIEND Donald J. Trump persona non grata.

So it looks like tomorrow Trump will prevail again.  It is how close Cruz and Rubio can keep the vote that is uncertain.

The south is friendly territory to Donald Trump.  

And, racists everywhere. That is hardly a ringing endorsement.

When the votes shift to the northeast and Midwest, his challenge might grow but by that time he might have things sewn up.

If that happens, if Trump is the Republican nominee, you can expect a media assault on him that will be unprecedented.

Every day the press will hammer Trump, exposing every part of his life.

And, you are doing your best to pre-inoculate the voters against any factual attacks on YOUR GOOD FRIEND, Donald J. Trump.

Trump is getting ready:

TRUMP: “So that when the New York Times writes a hit piece, which is a total disgrace, or when the Washington Post, which is there for other reasons, writes a hit piece, we can sue them and win money instead of having no chance of winning because they’re totally protected.”

Mr. Trump talking about what he would do as president, attempt to change the libel laws, but he can’t do that now.

Don’t you care about the First Amendment, Loofah Lad? Or are you only concerned about the 2nd Amendment?

And believe me the press is just waiting.

So now it’s a media conspiracy to sink the worst presidential candidate to come down the pike. What else you got that we can laugh at?

A preview is this David Duke stuff, a complete non-story.  I’ve spoken with Trump hundreds of times.  I have never heard him run down anyone because of race.

He does not care about that.

A non-story? And, how would you know if you ever heard him say anything about race when you blow the same dog whistle he does? Your ears are no longer attuned to hear the racist hate disguised by your White Privilege!

The GOP madness is of course good news for Hillary Clinton, who has major problems of her own but who the American press will get behind.

Newspaper endorsements for president will run 20:1 Clinton.

What if she’s 20 times better for ‘Merka than your Racist and Xenophobic friend Donald Trump? Wouldn’t she then deserve the endorsements?

So the question becomes, can Donald Trump bring in millions of new voters to overcome his deficit among the press, minorities and other groups that may not like him?

People who may not like him? This isn’t the competition for Prom King. This is a Winner Take All contest to decide the next President of the United States. Your decades-long friendship with this Racist Xenophobe disqualifies you from even commenting on this election, but that’s never stopped you from misinforming your viewers before.

Trump thinks he can do it and has confounded his critics thus far.

He’s confounded Good Ol’ ‘Merkin Common Sense. Hopefully the electorate will wake up and see Trump for the Racist and Xenophobic Charlatan he really is. Even tho’ Joe Scarborough finally saw the light, it’s clear that you never will.

And that’s the memo.

 And, that’s why you’re nothing but a hack, O’Reilly. 

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #1

I’ve read and watched so many of these Talking Point Memos, I could probably write one. All one needs do is use as many of the 7 types of propaganda techniques as possible.

With this post the Not Now Silly Newsroom tests the watters [geddit?] for a new series of Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memos. Aunty Em used to do this over at NewsHounds with Glenn Beck’s Comedy Caliphate when he was still slinging the crazy over at the Fox “News” Channel. It’s a lot of fun and it usually got a good reaction. Let me know what you think. Weigh in and let me know whether I should continue.

In order to win the presidency in 2016 both the Republican and Democratic candidate will have to get a good amount of votes from Hispanic Americans.

But the leading GOP is doing everything in his power to drive them away. Therefore, you’ve got to make people afraid.

On Thanksgiving the New York Times ran an editorial that pretty much laid out what the liberal viewpoint is on people coming to live in America.

Of course, almost all the other times O’Reilly, or Fox “News,” mentions the NYTs it is to trash it. But, do go on. I’m fascinated to learn where this is going.

Point number one: The left no longer distinguishes between illegal aliens and those who come here legally.

Of course, you can show where the NYTs said exactly that, right? I thought not. I’ve done several searches and while this is not conclusive proof, I couldn’t find it. But, I’d be happy to link it HERE if anyone points it out to me.

All foreign nationals who enter are now described by the Times and others as immigrants.

All? That’s a sweeping statement. Even I hedged above when I said, “…almost all the other times O’Reilly, or Fox “News,” mentions the NYTs…” But, things are just Black and White to you, no pun intended.

And if you use the term illegal alien, you are a bigot.

Uh, oh! Someone must have called Loofah Lad a bigot recently.

Point two: The left believes that any fence on the southern border is nativist bigotry that is a hateful action towards non-Americans, especially Hispanics.

Any fence? Again, a sweeping statement. I don’t know anybody who is against a border fence. But, you’re just calling it a “fence” to cover for the GOP’s head bigot, Donald Trump, who wants to build a yuuuuuuuge wall to keep out all the rapists and criminals he talks about.

Point number three: The left wants open borders, no restrictions on those who come here, no detention, no physical barrier, no deportation proceedings unless a serious crime other than illegal entry is committed.

I have yet to hear anyone advocate that. Which orifice are you pulling your facts from?

And if you disagree with that you are a promoting an anti-immigrant police state.

We already have a police state. That’s what ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬ is all about.

Point four: The left says all immigrants — again illegal and legal — should be welcomed and assimilated.

Again, I have yet to hear anyone advocate for that. Altho’, I have heard people with good hearts talk about welcoming Syrian refugees. Is this what this is really about? Syrian refugees?

And not only that, the government should give them money to settle in and they should be immediately eligible for all the entitlements Americans can secure.

An earlier Talking Point Memo delivered without a hint of irony

You’re really pushing every negative and already debunked trope you can think of, ain’t you?

Point five: All illegal aliens already here should be put on a pathway to citizenship.

What is your proposal, Falafel King? You can’t deport them all. And, you can’t have a second tier of U.S. resident, where some immigrants are allowed to become citizens and others are not. I’d love to hear your proposal.

The left wants full amnesty.

The Rabid Right wants deportation. What’s the ‘Merkin thing to do? You’re a Catholic, Bill O. What would Jesus do?

And finally point number six: The left wants free lawyers for all immigrants so they can gather up the entitlements and citizenship requirements.

Actually, the Constitution requites lawyers. That whole “You have a right to remain silent” speech ends with an acknowledgment of that.

At the end of the editorial in the New York Times, the paper asks is that so radical?

Okay, I just went and looked again. I’ve not found the editorial you speak of. Could you just point it out to me so I can see how you’ve misquoted it, if it even exists at all.

The answer of course is yes, open borders, full amnesty, complete entitlement access is indeed radical and dangerous to public order and safety.

Be afraid! Be very Afraid!!

But that is the vision of the Democratic Party.

WAIT! I thought you said it was the entire Left Wing, but now it’s just the Democratic Party?

Not everyone, but you will not hear many Democrats go up against that, as the Kate’s Law debate demonstrated.

WAIT!!! You just said it was the entire Democratic Party. Which is it. Who are you talking about?

Now many believe this is a pure political strategy, that flooding the nation with foreigners — many of whom will get the right to vote — strengthens the Democratic Party.

An earlier Talking Point Memo delivered without a hint of irony

Call me crazy, but I think immigration strengthens the nation. But that’s just me.

But there is much more in play.

And, you’ll let us in on the secret of this Left Wing Cabal, right? I’m breathless with anticipation.

The radical left immigration vision would profoundly change all of America’s traditions, all of them.

WAIT!!! Now it’s just the radical left. Make up your mind. You can’t keep moving the target like this.

And that’s what the left wants because that ideology sees the American Judeo-Christian tradition as oppressive, exploitative and a white-privilege legacy.

Now this screed makes sense. I get it now. You’re worried about your precious White Privilege being taken away, ain’t you? You’re downright scared, ain’t you?

Thus, the uber-left wants traditional America wiped off the face of the earth.

WAIT!!! Now it’s just the uber-left? That’s the fringiest of the fringe. You’re scaremongering about those crazy outliers?

That’s what is truly going on and if Americans don’t wise up quickly, the left-wing vision of immigration may very well become a reality.

That’s not what’s going on at all. You pulled all of that out of your ass to create a strawman you’ve conditioned your brain-dead viewers to believe is their enemy.

And that’s the memo.

One of the biggest piles you’ve ever crapped out, which is why I decided to annotate it.

Not a single word of Loofah Lad’s has been omitted or changed. For comparison, the entire Talking Points Memo without annotation can be found here, because I show my work, unlike Loofah Lad. 

Bill “The Falafel King” O’Reilly Born ► Throwback Thursday

Yes, he actually said this without a hint of irony

If there’s any single person that I wish we could throw back, it’s Fox “News” fabulist and serial exaggerator Bill O’Reilly. 

Loofah Lad is a Fox “News” anchor, both literally and figuratively, because he’s the highest rated liar on Fox, just not the only liar.

O’Reilly calls himself a cultural warrior battling all those forces of evil that most of us accept as part of a multiracial, pluralistic society. Entire books and websites have been written about this man, so I won’t bother. However, the reason he’s perfect for this rubric is he wants to throwback the country to the lily White suburbs of of his ’50s Levittown, where he grew up; a man so uncomfortable around Black folk, that every time he brings up the issue of race, he embarrasses himself.

Bill is a Catholic, who is getting a divorce. He’s now engaged in an ugly battle with his ex-wife, where he’s been accused of domestic violence:

The transcript includes testimony from Larry Cohen, a psychologist appointed to interview and make assessments about each member of the family during the dispute. (Note that “M.” refers to O’Reilly’s daughter.)

“M. [his daughter] reported — having seeing an incident where I believe she said her dad was choking her mom or had his hands around her neck and dragged her down some stairs.”  

 Meanwhile, The Falafel King lectures and hectors ‘Merka to live exemplary lives.

Can we throw him back already?

As is traditional in his falsely titled No Spin Zone, we’ll give Bill the last word:

A Message to Facebookers

Dear Facefolkers: 

Do you wander over to other people’s personal timelines to insult or take issue with what they post? If so, this post is for you.


When sitting on a person’s front porch, would you start calling them names? Would you tell them their opinions are wrong? Worse yet, would you refuse to offer any facts to bolster your side of the argument? Especially when you’re not even a friend to the person you’re attacking?

I’m really growing tired of people who show up on my personal wall with the sole purpose of shitting all over it.

Look: There are plenty of places on the facebookery where you can debate opinions to your heart’s content. That’s what they’re there for. However, that’s not what my wall is for.

My wall is for me and my friends to get together and shoot the breeze.

It’s like the neighbourhoods of old, when people would sit on their front porch and greet everybody who passed. The difference is we are all simultaneously sitting on our front porch and walking past all the other porches.

If you honestly and truly believed that Mr. Smith is a drooling fool, would you walk past his porch and yell, “I heard what you said to Mr. Jones and you’re nothing but an idiot”? Or would you just walk past?

When I see crap I don’t like on another person’s wall — sometimes it’s very good face-to-facefriends, sometimes it’s family, and sometimes it’s just facefriends I’ll never meet — I just keep on walking. What good comes from starting that kind of debate?

But, I really want to talk about a far more egregious form of this problem:

Attacking people who are not even your facefriends. You’ve seen what they posted ONLY because one of your facefriends liked it or shared it. So you wander over to that timeline to give the original poster a piece of your mind. This is akin to helicoptering over a neighbourhood you don’t even belong to and hectoring those people with a megawatt PA system.

Give your head a shake. Don’t be an asshole on my threads, and I won’t be an asshole back to you.

I’m ALWAYS willing to discuss things. But, if you start with an accusatory or defensive attack, I’m gonna BLOCK your ass. And, if you quote Fox “News” memes, I’m going to BLOCK your ass and make sure everybody laughs at you.

Caught Inside The Fox “News” Bubble . . . Again!

Nothing is more disheartening than when I look around and come to the sudden realization that I have been enveloped by a Fox “News” bubble again.

It often happens spontaneously. The awareness starts with a tingle at the nape of my neck. I could be in a line at the grocery store or, more likely, sitting on the patio of my local Starbucks, lost in my own world. First detected by the hairs on my neck, my ears pick up on this early warning system. My brain, always the last to fall into line, begins to focus on my surroundings. I become aware of the general drift of the conversation around me.

OH, NO!!! I’m inside another Fox “News” bubble!!! It makes my skin crawl. My palms feel like the nearby Florida swamp. The stream of false Fox “News” talking points turns my stomach. The longer it continues, the more I vibrate inside. Every part of my being is poised for Fight or Flight.

In the end, I always choose flight. There’s no point getting into it with total strangers. That’s what the Twitter machine is for.

While I’ve only been writing Fox “News” criticism for the past 6 years, I’ve been a professional writer for more than 40. I have done every kind of writing there is, ‘ceptin’ the greeting card. A partial list of my many tear sheets: music and film reviews; interviews with Rock Royalty and Hollywood Honchos; promotional bumf for multinational corporations; cross-media publicity campaigns; Queen’s Park Correspondent and Investigative Journalist for Yorkview Magazine; and a monthly column for Toronto’s Taxi News — about life on the mean streets — under the nom de plume Travis Bickel.

However, the experience that most informs my Fox “News” criticism is my decade as a News Writer at Citytv, the spunky, street-level operation in Toronto that became a template for news operations all across the continent. It was the first to capture and broadcast news on videotape and the first to do away with the anchor desk. The anchors actually had to know how to walk and talk in an actual newsroom.

Consequently, I was seen in households across Ontario every single workday. I never realized the power of tee vee until I was once asked for my autograph on the Queen West streetcar. I demurred, certain they were mistaking me for someone else. “No. You’re that guy that sits behind David Onley on BreakfastTelevision.” He got his autograph.

It’s the power of tee vee news that this post wishes to explore.

A decade ago I returned to ‘Merka and was shocked — shocked I tells ya!!! — by the Fox “News” Channel. I had never seen such — dare I say it? — unfair and imbalanced news in my life.

Soon afterwards, I found the movie Outfoxed. Later I discovered NewsHounds, the motto of which is “We watch Fox so you don’t have to,” without knowing the movie had spawned it. I became so well known on the comment threads for laughing at Glenn Beck, I was eventually hired on to write under the nom de plume Aunty Em. Since then I’ve turned my Fox “News” obsession into a cottage industry with posts for the Not Now Silly Newsroom and PoliticusUSA, which publishes Friday Fox Follies. When it works it’s a comedic look at the network’s shenanigans and tomfoolery during the week. And, I am your genial host at Fox Follies & Fallacies, a page over at the facebookery.

Wait! I lied. There is something more disheartening. It’s when I look
around and the Fox “News” bubble is at a family
get-together and there’s not a damned thing I can do about it. That members of my family are exhibiting the stupidity I write about breaks my heart. It’s the same Unfair and Imbalanced Bullshit™ spouted by those who only rely on one news source, the Fox “News” source. It’s instantly recognizable.

It’s no coincidence that various polls show both of these things to be simultaneously true:

The best way to understand this dichotomy is to realize that being a Fox “News” Viewer is no different than belonging to a cult. Like any self-respecting cultist, the Fox “News” Viewer has been brainwashed into believing that there is only a single source of truth, and all the other ones are lyin’, left leanin’, pinko perversions of news operations.

When one challenges the average, brain dead Fox “News” viewer, they often shut down because they have no comeback. However, if they have any social media skills at all, they’re able to cite other sites that say the same damned thing. This is the Fox “News” Echo Chamber in full effect. All these Right Wing sites are singing from the same hymnal. Hallelujah!

I always marvel at one thing: there is almost always a kernel of truth in the buttered popcorn Fox is serving to its unthinking and incurious audience. However, it’s heated by the Right Wing Outrage Du Jour™ until it pops, but it’s really nothing hot air, lacking all resemblance to the original.

I managed to avoid many of these self-inflicted Fox Family Food Fights™ until last year when I committed myself to a weekly family lunch. Wednesdays are reserved for Cousins’ Lunch up in Boca. For reasons I don’t quite understand, two of the cousins seem to feel this the perfect forum to spout every ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard on Fox “News.”

For nearly a year I managed managed to ignore their imbecility. Having political discussions with Chicolinis is not why I go to Cousins’ Lunch. I can do that at home on my computer and — even better — have the information at my fingertips to refute any argument. At Cousins’ Lunch it was always a formless discussion, with a constantly moving targets, that was almost totally devoid of any verified facts whatsoever.

A few months back I walked away from a half-finished lunch rather than engage them as they tried to bait me into a political discussion. I told Pops I’d wait for him in the car and to call me when he was done.

A few weeks later it happened again and this time I rose to the bait, loudly and without regret.

Please understand, I prefaced my remarks with, “I don’t come here to argue, but if you want to get into it, I’m more than happy to do so.” Since they were more than happy to do so as well, I spent about 20 minutes shouting at them. Everyone else at the table remained silent while I chewed them out over and over again.

Infographic by Frugal Dad,
scooped from the Infographics
Archive. Click for larger view.

If they brought up something they heard in the Fox “News” Echo Chamber — or read in their chain emails — I’d jump on it to reveal the context missing. They’d counter by shifting the argument to something else, the Moving Target I spoke of above. I’d provide new facts, figures, and context. Then the target would move again with a false equivalency or the Outrage Du Jour, all items recognized from my hours of obsessive Fox “News” Channel watching.

I admit I was loud — and passionate — but I countered every stupid statement with greater context. We argued for a good 20 minutes until I finally changed the topic to Harry Nilsson, something they didn’t know anything about either [which may have been their greater crime.]

Just as we were leaving, at the car door, it started up again. I mentioned a very minor point in a news story and was asked, “Did you actually see the police officer say that or did you just read somewhere that he said it? Because I no longer trust what I read, especially in the Left Wing media.”

And that’s when I REALLY exploded!!!

“But, you’ll repeat any stupid thing you hear on Fox “News” or in those chain emails, without even knowing what it means. Fox “News” lies to you every fucking minute of every fucking day!”

But . . . Left Wing Media!

“THERE IS NO LEFT WING MEDIA!!! The New York Times is just slightly right of center. To you and Fox “News” that just feels like the far Left Wing. Five corporations own 95% of the media in this country. By definition corporations are right wing. If Socialism is on the Far Left, then Capitalism is on the Right. And, there’s a whole continuum of ideology in between.

“You call what you don’t like the Mainstream Media. But, Fox News *IS* the mainstream media. Fox “News” has the biggest ratings and they are way to the Right, right?”


“But, you even believe them when they say they’re Fair and Balanced, even though you just admitted they are not. They lie to you every minute of every day and you’re foolish enough to believe them without looking for any further context. There’s one thing I will admit to you: There’s always a kernel of truth in what Fox “News” tells you, but once you know the whole story. it falls apart as a talking point.”

But . . . but . . . but . . .

“Don’t *but* me. I’ve been writing Fox “News” criticism online for more  than 5 years. Use your Google.”

And, I started the car and closed my door.

I felt GREAT!!! It was cathartic!!!

Now several weeks have passed. I have no desire to start arguing politics at Cousins’ Lunch, but may no longer keep silent if baited.

Or, we can stick to the OTHER conversation that we have every single week that frustrates me. It’s always good for 20 minutes over the course of the entire lunch, and often comes up before we’ve even ordered our food:

“Where do you want to eat next week?”

However, if the political discussions start up again, I still have the same choice as always: Fight or flight. At this point I’m inclined to merely point them to this blog post and go wait for Pops in the car.

What else is there to say after this post?

Spreading the Fox “News” News

Logo used with permission, unlike the WebVee Guide fiasco

The Not Now Silly Newsroom is all a’buzz and it’s been one big Bacchanalia all weekend. “Whyzzat?” you ask. Because our Head Writer, Headly Westerfield, has begun a brand new weekly Snark-0-Thon on the Fox “News” Channel for PoliticusUSA. Friday Fox Follies will appear each … err … Friday. This week he is getting started by Introducing The Friday Fox Follies.

Westerfield has free-lanced before and will, no doubt, continue to do so. This isn’t even the first time that he’s been published in the pages of PoliticusUSA:

Clearly Westerfield writes about what he knows. Tune into PoliticusUSA each Friday as he brings you the latest tomfoolery and shenanigans from the Fox “News” Channel.

However, don’t worry, dear readers. You will still be able to get your Daily Adult Requirement of Fox “News” Snark both here and at The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society over at the facebookery.