Welcome to the 2nd Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo.
The Falafel King drops one of these piles every weekday and, if I were so inclined, I could answer him every day, but life’s too short for that. Today, Loofah Lad wants to pontificate on the The State of the Republican Party, but he’s really defending his good buddy, Donald J. Trump.
I have to say I’m a bit surprised that Don Rickles is now apparently a Republican contender.
I’m not. I’m just surprised that someone who has called hundreds — maybe thousands — of people “pinheads” would be concerned about the mud being thrown in the GOP race. This is merely your attempt at a false equivalency in order to deflecting from Trump’s hateful comments about Mexicans, Muslims, women, John McCain, the handicapped, Megyn Kelly, and everyone else he’s attacked over the years. However, do play us a supercut your staff put together of how they’re all doing it.
DONALD TRUMP: “So I’m looking at little Marco and I’m saying man there’s something happening with him and he’s like melting.”
MARCO RUBIO: “He’s always calling me little Marco. I’ll admit, he’s taller than me – he’s like 6’2’’ – which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2’’.” (LAUGHS) ((EDIT)) And you know what they say about men with small hands?”
TRUMP: “You had to see him backstage. He was putting on makeup with a trowel! (Mimics using a roller to apply his makeup) ((EDIT)) I will not say that he was trying to cover up his ears!”
RUBIO: “He doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he uses!”
Now that’s not exactly the Lincoln-Douglas debate is it?
Well, no. It’s not even in Kennedy-Nixon territory. Hell, it’s not even the neighbourhood of the Bentsen-Quayle debate.
However, you have called people names for decades. Stop clutching your pearls and take credit for the coarsening of the ‘Merkin Culture you brought about.
Oh, wait. You have an alternate theory, doncha?
But here’s why it’s happening:
Oh, this should be good. Do tell.
In the beginning of the campaign, Donald Trump did something very brilliant. He staked out two essential issues that he knew Republican voters were angry about: the border and the economy.
But rather than getting into policy, Mr. Trump kept it simple. He’ll build a wall and deport illegal aliens.
He’ll make deals that will turn the economy around and punish countries like China and Mexico that he believes are treating the USA unfairly.
That quickly got the new candidate a lot of attention and criticism.
To be fair: It got your vanilla milkshake drinking BFF a lot of attention and even more valid criticism. However, I hardly think spewing racism and xenophobia is very brilliant. That’s when this whole race started going south — both puns intended.
OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to drinking my M-Fing ice tea. Forget I interrupted.
Then what, Loofah Lad?
Trump then immediately counter-attacked, using hot rhetoric that most politicians would never even consider.
Which you continue to defend to this very day. It’s not presidential. Of course, you’d be having a fit if any Democratic candidate said anything slightly critical of Donald Trump.
That got him even more popularity. The more he insulted, the higher his poll numbers climbed.
Historians will be trying to figure this election out for decades to come. Is this the year Racism and Xenophobia trump logic and good governance?
So he’s two for two. He chooses emotional issues, simplifying them for potential voters, then scorches anyone who doesn’t like it.
That’s not why he scorches people, you sanctimonious liar. He scorches people because he’s a narcissistic psychopath.
OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading the Paris Business Review.
Even if you don’t like Mr. Trump, you have to admit the strategy has been brilliant and he would not be leading in the polls today if he had not employed it.
It’s only a brilliant strategy if you admire appealing to people’s fears and worse instincts.
OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading about Dr. Tiller’s murder.
The other Republican candidates were taken by surprise as he hammered Jeb Bush and anyone else Trump considered to be a rival.
After months of watching Trump’s poll numbers go up, finally Senators Rubio and Cruz began to counterattack in the same way.
The problem for both Rubio and Cruz is that Americans do not know them, and the media has paid so much attention to Donald Trump that getting well known is almost impossible.
Unless of course you hurl insults, which is what Marco Rubio is now doing.
No. The problem is that Rubio and Cruz left it far too late to start telling the truth and attacking your racist and xenophobic milkshake buddy, Donald J. Trump. BTW: I think it’s telling that they are vanilla milkshakes. You can buy those Freudian Slips at Frederick’s of Hollywood.
Sorry, I interrupted again. Go ahead, let’s hear more of your bullshit false equivalency.
For his part Cruz is hammering Trump in a different way:
TED CRUZ: “There have been multiple media reports about Donald’s business dealings with the mob, with the mafia. Maybe his taxes show those business dealings are a lot more extensive than has been reported.”
Now I don’t believe anyone’s tax returns are going to give insight into organized crime. Mr. Cruz obviously casting aspersions on Mr. Trump.
But all of this negative stuff hasn’t really altered the race so far.
Because, as I said above, it’s too little, too late. Cruz and Rubio should have been hammering Trump on his bankruptcies, Trump University, the KKK, and his freakishly small hands starting last year. Now it just looks like tit-for-tat mud slinging and almost nothing is getting traction, even Trump’s latest smears on his opponents.
Recent polls say Mr. Trump is leading in all the Super Tuesday states with the exception of Texas, Ted Cruz’s home state.
Which is why ‘Merka is becoming a laughing stock all over again around the world. You thought George W. Bush was reviled around the world? There are already countries who are working to make YOUR FRIEND Donald J. Trump persona non grata.
So it looks like tomorrow Trump will prevail again. It is how close Cruz and Rubio can keep the vote that is uncertain.
The south is friendly territory to Donald Trump.
And, racists everywhere. That is hardly a ringing endorsement.
When the votes shift to the northeast and Midwest, his challenge might grow but by that time he might have things sewn up.
If that happens, if Trump is the Republican nominee, you can expect a media assault on him that will be unprecedented.
Every day the press will hammer Trump, exposing every part of his life.
And, you are doing your best to pre-inoculate the voters against any factual attacks on YOUR GOOD FRIEND, Donald J. Trump.
Trump is getting ready:
TRUMP: “So that when the New York Times writes a hit piece, which is a total disgrace, or when the Washington Post, which is there for other reasons, writes a hit piece, we can sue them and win money instead of having no chance of winning because they’re totally protected.”
Mr. Trump talking about what he would do as president, attempt to change the libel laws, but he can’t do that now.
Don’t you care about the First Amendment, Loofah Lad? Or are you only concerned about the 2nd Amendment?
And believe me the press is just waiting.
So now it’s a media conspiracy to sink the worst presidential candidate to come down the pike. What else you got that we can laugh at?
A preview is this David Duke stuff, a complete non-story. I’ve spoken with Trump hundreds of times. I have never heard him run down anyone because of race.
He does not care about that.
A non-story? And, how would you know if you ever heard him say anything about race when you blow the same dog whistle he does? Your ears are no longer attuned to hear the racist hate disguised by your White Privilege!
The GOP madness is of course good news for Hillary Clinton, who has major problems of her own but who the American press will get behind.
Newspaper endorsements for president will run 20:1 Clinton.
What if she’s 20 times better for ‘Merka than your Racist and Xenophobic friend Donald Trump? Wouldn’t she then deserve the endorsements?
So the question becomes, can Donald Trump bring in millions of new voters to overcome his deficit among the press, minorities and other groups that may not like him?
People who may not like him? This isn’t the competition for Prom King. This is a Winner Take All contest to decide the next President of the United States. Your decades-long friendship with this Racist Xenophobe disqualifies you from even commenting on this election, but that’s never stopped you from misinforming your viewers before.
Trump thinks he can do it and has confounded his critics thus far.
He’s confounded Good Ol’ ‘Merkin Common Sense. Hopefully the electorate will wake up and see Trump for the Racist and Xenophobic Charlatan he really is. Even tho’ Joe Scarborough finally saw the light, it’s clear that you never will.
And that’s the memo.
And, that’s why you’re nothing but a hack, O’Reilly.