The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 25
Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Nothing better demonstrates how Fox “News” is exactly like Bizarro World than this week’s, post-election edition of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, the 25th in our popular ongoing series. 

Keep in mind: This was the week in which, before the election, the Fox “News” Paid & Preferred Pundits™
were declaring Mendacious Mitt would win in a landslide. It was the same week in which the Fox “News” Paid & Preferred Politician™ Mendacious Mitt Romney lost the Presidential Election in a landslide.

Welcome to the lobby of Bizarro World. Will you be staying here long? The next four years, you say? Certainly, we can accommodate you, providing you stop thinking now. Watch your step as you enter the Fun Way, which is already in progress.

Bully Boy Bolling has no idea how his side is going to be sandbagged by KKKarl Rove tomorrow night.
Wait!!! What??? Wasn’t Fox “News” trying to gin up a controversy over those U.N. election monitors?

TRANSLATION: Media are reprehensible for waiting for the play out and not making shit up now.
Hooray! Shameless cynicism didn’t win. Isn’t that a good thing, Fox “News”?

TRANSLATION: There are only a few hours left in which I can pretend that Mendacious Mitt will win in a landslide and where the estimated $300,000,000.00 I am spending on the election will matter. Let me keep up the fiction as long as I can.

TRANSLATION: This will be the last day in which we can pretend that KKKarl Rove’s massive $300,000,000 conflict of interest doesn’t exist, so we won’t mention it . . . once again.


I’ve always maintained it’s more important to know what a station IS NOT reporting than what it IS reporting. A case in point: Some anonymous bozo brags into somebody’s cell phone camera that he’s voted 4 times and Fox “News” decides it’s a national “news” story. Is it true? Who knows? Who cares? Fox “News” certainly doesn’t. Conversely, there has been a lot of reporting (everywhere but on Fox “News”) about the alleged Republican-tied, alleged voter fraud cases in Virginia, and several other alleged locales across ‘Merka — that all seem to be allegedly intertwined — and that all allegedly involve Nathan Sproul, who has alleged connections to KKKarl “Alleged” Rove. Has Fox “News” ever reported on Sproul and his gang? No, because this cell phone video is more important.

It gave me the chills, too. It is a propaganda video that would make Leni Riefenstahl proud.
Tweety went off on one of his rants about GOP Dog Whistles. A little slice and dice — taking comments out of context — and one can justify this headline from Real Clear Politics, which Fox “News” also thinks is a national “news” story.

“Kneecaps” is just another one of those action verbs Fox “News” is fond of. It wasn’t really like that. However, Fox “News” will elevate any story to national “news” if one of its competitors is criticized, even mildly. Action verbs will cover that.

Using his silly quiz to further propagandize is just another one of Loofah Lad’s excesses.

Remember this guy? He used to be on Fox “News” and now he isn’t. That doesn’t mean he’s any less funny now.

I think Mendacious Mitt’s internal polls are lying to him.

The GOP were hoping for counting chaos. Too bad it didn’t happen because then it was harder to say the election was stolen.

There were Swing State newspapers that flipped to President Obama, but Fox “News” will never tell you about them.

The Falafel King started his “people want free stuff so that’s why they reelected President Obama” rant almost immediately after the polls closed. He hasn’t let up since, except to spout racist bullshit about the White Race now being a minority in ‘Merka.

Is this one of those skewed polls? Because it sure was wrong!!!

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!
Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!
Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! If you see someone on Fox “News” that doesn’t seem right, record and report it.

Thank goodness we dodged that bullet.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! One Black guy, who poll workers said was “relatively pleasant to speak with,” showed up at one polling station, and Fox “News” tried to turn it into this year’s voter intimidation story. It didn’t work.

Who are you voting for, KKKarl?

By the beginning of the week Fox “News” had figured out a way to blame President Obama for Hurricane Sandy.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

There are just a few hours left before KKKarl Rove’s head is going to explode. Until then he can pretend his massive $300,000,000.00 conflict of interest is still going to matter.

I can’t wait until we can do Slo-Mo, freeze-frames of the EXACT moment when KKKarl Rove’s head explodes!!!. Until then we can let him pretend a few hours longer that his massive $300,000,000.00 conflict of interest is still going to matter.

Oddly enough, there were longer lines in Democratic precincts, but Fox “News” will never tell you that.

Five hours later KKKarl Rove’s head is going to explode live on air in one of the greatest public meltdowns ever. However, there is still some time to pretend his massive $300,000,000.00 conflict of interest is still going to matter.

There was a tribute to President Obama painting on the wall of a schoolroom being used as a polling place. Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

It won’t be pretty when KKKarl Rove’s head explodes.

How long do you think it should take, Clayton? After Hurricane Wilma we were without power for 14 days. Hurricane Sandy was much bigger, moved slower, and left far more destruction. Down here after Wilma the difficult thing for Transportation Departments to find were new, in-the-box traffic lights just sitting on shelves waiting to be installed. They had to be fabricated. There were many intersections that reverted to 4-way stops during the several weeks it took to find enough replacements. However, to listen to Fox “News,” it’s all President Obama’s fault that the number of broken
telephone polls exceeds the supply of telephone polls waiting to be
The Flop Sweat begins now!

Even Jeb Bush was delusional. He must have drunk the KKKarl Rove Kool-Aid served on Bizarro World.

The closer the ‘Merkin public gets to electoral reality, the closer KKKarl Rove gets to Bizarro World.

This will be one of the last times Mendacious Mitt is ahead all evening.

The beginning of the excuse-making. No one seemed to say, “Mendacious Mitt was a lousy candidate.”

This is how Woeful Wednesday began, with a whimper and no Fox and Friends First cheesecake.

Bully Boy Bolling thinks Mendacious Mitt was too moderate. Yeah, that’s why he lost because he was not Conservative enough.

Bully Boy Bolling needs to rethink his party. They’re big losers and behave like sore losers.

Who is crazier: KKKarl Rove, who denied reality for so long, or Fox “News,” which actually brought on the wrongest person on earth to give his post-election analysis? It’s a trick question because it’s a tie! And the brain-dead Fox “News” audience are the ultimate losers because neither Fox “News,” nor KKKarl Rove ever admitted on Fox “News” that his 2 SuperPACs were spending a whopping $300,000,000.00 to influence the 2012 election. There’s only two ways to look at it: Fox “News” either knew the scam, or were duped by KKKarl Rove’s scam. Either way the so-called “news” network allowed itself to be used to raise money to buy a Mendacious Mitt presidency: “Lookie here, I appear on Fox “News” alla time. Gimme my SuperPACs money and we’ll have a puppet in November.” Fox “News” won’t ever admit either side of that coin, so it will gladly turn to KKKarl Rove for post-election analysis.

Oddly enough, Fox “News” really kept telling its brain-dead audience all the reasons why President Obama should NOT have won the election. It never really looked into why Mendacious Mitt lost. Funny that.
Hey, didja hear? Fox “News” is considering a new show to run on both the Fox “News” and the Fox “Business” networks: At first the Head Honchos were going to call it “Mea Culpa with KKKarl Rove,” but then remembered that Fox “News” never admits to its mistakes. That’s why “CYA with KKKarl Rove” won out. Check your local listings.

Here’s a lesson in how Fox “News” pushes news down the memory hole: Donald Trump eventually deleted his tweet which called for a revolution, but not before NBC’s Brian Williams called him out on it. Now, skip ahead to Monday, November 12, 2012: Those Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends hosted The Donald for his regular Monday morning phone call. While The Donald was asked about his Twitter War with Brian Williams, never did anyone mention it was because The Donald called for revolution after Mendacious Mitt lost the election. That part of the kerfuffle is gone down the memory hole and the brain-dead Fox “News” viewers need never know about it.

That’s just one of the nicer thing he said. I wrote about Ted Nugent’s racist attack on Detroit almost two weeks ago. Oddly enough, The Ghost of Gilchrist recycled some of his Detroit attacks and applied them to the nation as a whole. That makes his racial enmity against Detroit so much less special than it seemed just 2 weeks ago.

Maybe Ted Nugent and Loofah Lad are merely trying to label Fox “News” as the Racist Channel.

There is no better place than to run this video again because it’s a keeper:

Maybe if you just throw more money at it, KKKarl. Think of it as your own personal stimulus package.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama’s reelection.?”

Because we all know how “Fair and Balanced” Ann Coulter and Pat Buchanan are. And, poor Bob Woodward, of Watergate fame, has been acting as Scammity’s stooge.

This has been the Fox “News” mantra since President Obama was reelected.

The entire country has shifted Progressive, but Bully Boy Bolling won’t let that dissuade him from feeling like a winner, even when his most closely-held beliefs were resoundly rejected by the voters. Now that’s what I call “cockeyed optimism.”

Another example of Fox “News” shitting on the competition.

TRANSLATION: We’ll find someone to blame.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama’s reelection?”

Now that really sounds like sour grapes to me.

Here’s a hint: NewsMax did not blame Mendacious Mitt or the GOP. It’s all the voter’s fault.

Just when you thought he’d be slitting his wrists, KKKarl Rove bounces back to pretend he still has some worth to Fox “News.” And, Fox “News” still has to pretend he does, because the alternative is unthinkable. The truth of the matter is that KKKarl Rove stunk up the entire joint for the entire election cycle. If you want to know why Fox “News” blundered so badly in all of its projections, all you have to do is look at KKKarl Rove. Since Fox “News” never reported on Rove’s MASSIVE $300,000,000.00 conflict of interest, it promptly forgot all about Rove’s MASSIVE $300,000,000.00 conflict of interest. The putative “news” network allowed KKKarl Rove to sell it a phony bill of goods as well.

So, it’s all the fault of Mendacious Mitt’s guy, who isn’t as smart as David Axelrod. You’d think Mittens could afford the smartest in the world . . . like KKKarl Rove, f’rinstance.

Let’s file this away and check on it in a few years. Bully Boy Bolling is predicting what commodities will be good buys and which commodities will tank during President Obama’s second term. Don’t forget: Bully Boy Bolling is a former-commodities trader.

Oh, fer fuck’s sake. Bully Boy Bolling’s started a new countdown.

Just not enough to compromise. However, you could be forgiven if you get the opposite impression from this.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama’s reelection? Oh! Wait! We just have.”

If Eric Holder leaves the administration, Fox “News” will lose one of its favourite strawmen.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Let’s clear up one thing right now: THIS IS NOT MORNING CHEESCAKE!!!

In discussing legalization of marijuana on The Five, Bully Boy Bolling forgot his Libertarian roots and came out soundly against legalization and referenced his son as a reason. Some people jumped on his hypocrisy. Imagine that. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to find Bully Boy Bolling’s Boy’s Bong. Statistically, he’s got to be a doper.



PLEASE! No cheesecake!!!

Oh, jeez. Bully Boy Bolling couldn’t even stick to his 4-year countdown 2 days in a row.

Because we know how “Fair and Balanced” Liz Cheney is.

Shorter Petraeus: It’s all Obama’s fault.

That’s all you got, Bully Boy? When you thought Mendacious Mitt Romney was going to win inn a landslide, you woke up so much more chipper. It’s sad to see you take it so hard.

Already spreading conspiracy theories and it’s only Saturday morning.

And more conspiracies.

And more conspiracies.

Even crossword puzzles are places to push propaganda.

“QUICK! How can we get these people to blame President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

And more conspiracies.

No, Loofah Lad. The lowest race card was right after the election when you said the only reason President Obama won was because, QUOTE, “The white establishment is now the minority.” Nice going, Whitey!

TRANSLATION: Still more conspiracy theories.

And even more conspiracies. By the end of the weekend Fox “News” personalities were creaming their collective jeans because the giant Benghazi Conspiracy Theory newsfront was about to interact with tracking weather patterns as a new front moves in from CIA headquarters. While there’s still a lot of time before these conspiracies coalese and make landfall, Fox “News” is predicting this could become a biggest shitstorm than Hurricane Sandy. At least if it has any say about it.

Personally I never thought Veep Joe Biden would run for the presidency in ’16. And, I’d rather not be proven wrong.

Oh, lookie here: KKKarl Rove wants to change the subject. Let’s change it back.

This Simpson’s clip from just last night, after the election:

By the end of the weekend, Fox “News” found a new conspiracy that involves Attorney General Eric Holder, abortion clinics and his wife. I’m sure there’s far less to this than Fox “News” is making out. There always is.

So, the question must be asked of the GOP and Teabaggers everywhere: Are you better off than you were 4 years ago, before you spent all that money trying to get Mendacious Mitt elected?

What have been learned? On this reality-based world a reasonable assessment would be that FOUR years of Fox “News” lies was not enough to scare enough people into voting against the Black guy. One would have to conclude that the Fox “News” brand of propaganda is no longer working.

What did they learn on Bizarro World? Nothing. As soon as the election was over Fox “News,” along with its sycophantic echo chamber of GOP operatives and Teabagging professionals, were already doubling-down on the lying conspiracy hysteria that allowed the once proud GOP to nominate, and then back, a proven liar like Mendacious Mitt Romney.

Welcome to Bizarro World. The WHITEwash zone is for loading and unloading, which is why The Fox “News” Spin Cycle exists in the first place. You’re welcome..

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.