The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 29
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The Fox “News” Spin Cycle team was forced to work overtime this week: Not only did Bob Costas go crazy and say the obvious, and not only did he desecrate a sacred football broadcast to do so, but he did it during The Phony War on Christmas, aka The Holy Weeks. This shall not stand.

That’s why Fox “News” started the week attacking Costas, but before it was over there would be other targets: favourite enemy Michael Moore would be smeared, Labour supporter Ed Asner pissed the station off, and PSY, of the Gangnam Style craze, would become a sworn enemy. And, for good measure, the so-called Ground Zero Mosque is back in the news.

The Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas™ seemed to take up the most airtime and indignation on the so-called “news” channel, as always. That’s why we start with this reminder:

Bully Boy Bolling awoke Monday morning and forgot he’s supposed to be mad at Bob Costas. He’ll correct that in 3 … 2 … 1 …

Apparently Bob Costas talking about guns is more disturbing than just another run-of-the-mill, garden-variety, standard murder/suicide. Bully Boy Bolling, who expresses an opinion every single day, seems to think his Constitutional Rights have been abridged because Bob Costas talked about guns. What about Bob Costas’ Constitutional Right to speak his mind, or is that only for opinions with which you agree, Bully Boy?

I always thought that Fox “News” ignorance was the building block of life. I stand corrected.

Who cares? I just want to know where’s my Monday morning cheesecake.

Who cares? I just want to know where’s my Monday morning cheesecake.

Because, as we all know, only Fox “News” is allowed to humiliate President Obama, right?

What’s amusing is this so-called “news” story is already several weeks old. I can’t understand why Fox “News” is only picking up on it now. Get this: Some blogger somewhere SPECULATED that a Pacific leader’s wife did not greet President Obama with the proper deference when bowing to him. This is another example of why Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be.

I’ve been through the entire Kama Sutra and have yet to find the Full Combat Position.

Guns don’t kill people. Talking about guns kills people.

Guns don’t kill people. Minivans kill people.

When minivans are outlawed, only outlaws will drive minivans.

There’s a little Duke or Duchess in the oven.

Fox Nation shares a World Nut Daily dog whistle.

NEWSFLASH: Everybody are expecting them to have a baby. It would be a surprise if they had anything else.

As the week began “some people” started to ask, “Where’s KKKarl Rove?” By week’s end that question would be answered.

This was a little reported story on Fox “News.”

There are still some people who think want to kiss Norquist’s ring. Smarter people are starting to prevail.

When dolphins are outlawed, only outlaws will have dolphins.

Is Lou Dobbs still alive?

Is Pat Buchanan still alive?

This is Bob Beckel’s house. Beckel seems to think that the more Christmas lights he has on his house, the better his chances are of getting into Heaven.

The cheapest thing currently at Bill’s Historical Falafel Store is an autographed pic of Gerald Ford at $495. The most (moist?) expensive document at Bill’s Loofah Supply Shop is priced at $18,500. According to the listing:

Abraham Lincoln Autograph Letter Signed (ALS). Here Lincoln appoints a Captain to an important position in the Union Army. With the war winding down, Lincoln was still involved at all levels. This piece is in great condition and is written entirely in Lincoln’s hand. Stunning.

However, exclusively for the Aunty Em Ericann Blog readers, here’s a free look:

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 I just saved you $18,500. You’re welcome.

Why mess with success?

They’ve been hunting for Bob Costas ever since Fox “News” declared Open Season on him.

He hires elves and unicorns from Greg Gutfeld.

A totally made-up statistic.

Where’s the morning outrage, Bully Boy? You’re either mellowing, or still stunned from the election of a month ago.

Is it still open season on Bob Costas, Loofah Lad?

This headline is total bullshit. Ann Coulter had an invitation to speak. The President of Fordham expressed disappointment at the student’s pick for speaker. Student union took his advice and rescinded the invite. She’s not been banned. She has merely been disinvited, which Fox “News” and Court Juster Jesse Watters know quite well. However, it’s good bidnezz for Fox “News” to make Ann Coulter a victim of the Liberal Conspiracy.

GOP Counter-offer: Do it our way instead.

Big fucking deal!!! All discussions on Fox “News” end with me screaming exactly that.

And, yet, we’re barely seeing KKKarl Rove on the Fox “News” airwaves. It’s like they’re blaming the election on him.

When Bob Costas is outlawed, only outlaws will be Bob Costas.

When the NRA is outlawed, only outlaws will belong to the KKK.

This is not proof of anything, of course. Trayvon Martin may have thought he was fighting back against somebody who had just pulled a gun on him. Naturally he would fight back with everything he had, if that were the case.

Really, Bully Boy?

Loofah Lad had to warn his audience that the first story is not Not Safe For Work. Neither is the loofah.

Is Lyin’ Ryan still alive?

You’re such a disappointment this week, Bully Boy. Where’s all the fake vitriol?

Before this story turned tragic, Fox “News” jumped on the Bash The Nurse bandwagon.

Why? Because Michael Moore took a tax-incentive from Michigan for producing his movie in Michigan. Remember when Fox “News” attacked Mendacious Mitt Romney on his hypocritical tax policies, as he was also refusing to release his tax returns? Me neither. However, a single, one-line, throw-away mention of Michael Moore in a much longer NYT article on Michigan’s tax credits, is elevated to a national “news” story because it involves sworn-enemy Michael Moore.

When personal responsibility is outlawed, only Fox “News” will continue to avoid personal responsibility.

When ogling supermodels is outlawed, only outlaws will ogle supermodels.

It’s a graphic demonstration of the Trickle Down Economic Theory. Wait until Fox “News” discovers Ed Asner had something to do with this.

When Charles Barkley is outlawed, only outlaws will be Charles Barkley.

Ed Asner? What did he have to do with it, Scammity?

Scammity uses the time-honoure “teaser” to get people to tune in to see his phone outrage at Ed Asner.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

The destruction of Hurricane Sandy was so wide-spread and unprecedented. It’s going to take a VERY long time before things even seem slightly right. In the meantime, I’m sure you can always find someone who feels they are not getting the attention they deserve. That’s why Hurricane Sandy will be the gift that keeps on giving for Fox “News” for years to come.

Finally some cheesecake, but why did you make me wait until mid-week?

Because of the red and green outfits, you mean? Oh, yeah, sure. The men are looking at the colours of your outfits.

More proof that Bully Boy Bolling is trying a new antacid. He’s not waking up with the same bile he used to.

The White House is going to call it the Bob Costas Rule™.

Thus demonstrating the real Trickle Down Theory.

Oh lookie: A wacky Detroit politician said a wacky thing and Fox “News” is blowing all kinds of dog whistles.
Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

The Phony War on Christmas comes but once a year. The Phony War on Christianity is fought all the year long.

It’s still open season on Bob Costas . . .

. . . but Juan Williams is given some space for an opposing POV.
It’s amazing what bullies can get away with when they shove through legislation with no public input. Right, Bully Boy?

When hurricanes are outlawed, only outlaws will have hurricanes.

The Conspiracy Theory begins in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

I wouldn’t trust Cheney with a flamethrower or a gun. He’s likely to shoot you in the face.

I don’t trust Chris Christie with a trouncer.

Sure, it’s fun until somebody pokes an eye out.

Is Sarah Palin, the half-governor, still an official Fox “News” Contributor, or has she been put out to pasture with KKKarl Rove and Dick Morris?

TRANSLATION: You need to think like Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly and fast.

Because Muslim Christmas jokes are just another way to fight the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas.

Fox “News” will always have time for a story that bashes its arch enemy NBC.
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Yet, John Boehner refuses to specify any tax deductions he would cut, expecting President Obama to negotiate with himself.

This makes sense because denying the president what he asked for didn’t help the GOP at the polls. Give the president the reins of the economy and the GOP can run against it in 2 years. By then, he’ll own it completely.

The Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas Quiz Edition.

That’s not cheesecake!!!

A rare Saturday on Fox and Friends for Ainsley Earworm.

A rare Saturday on Fox and Friends forBully Boy Bolling, who finally arrived with some morning energy.

Clayton Morris almost always works on Saturday.

Most shared on Fox “News”??? Really?

When children are outlawed, only children will be outlaws . . . or something.

Take THAT, Bob Costa!!!

Take THAT, Gangnam Style!!!

Take THAT, Union Thugs!!!

Take THAT, Morning Zoo DJs!!!

This is the new phony bologna Conspiracy Theory from the geniuses at Breitbart.

Take THAT, Union Thugs!!! Oh! Wait!!!
However, that apology has not stopped Fox “News” from attacking Psy relentlessly.


Wait!!! What???
Neil Cavuto, lunacy. Make up your own jokes.

What did you have for lunch, Bully Boy?


No one knows more about public humiliation than Dr. Keith Ablow. He does it to himself in every Fox “News” appearance.
Modesty club? Really?
Fox “News” is blowing another dog whistle with this story. Don’t believe me, then check out the comment thread.

Fox “News” has long tried to smear Senator-elect Elizabeth Warren. This takes a few words in an email out of context in order to try and embarrass her before she’s named to any important committees.

Here are more words taken out of context by Breitbart, the web site that invented the tactic with its phony Pimp and Ho ACORN tapes.
Why that’s almost as bad as Dr. Tiller!!!
TRANSLATION: See! We told you!!!
Fox “News” has been promoting the hell out of this Neil Cavuto special on the Apollo program.
As the week ended reports came out that Fox “News” was benching KKKarl Rove and Dick Morris. They are taking the blame for the whole Fox “News” Bubble, which deluded the Reich Wing into thinking it was going to win the election in a landslide. KKKarl Rove is hoping that by being a good corporate citizen by helping Cavuto promote his Special Space Show™, he’ll be asked back to Fox “News” sooner, rather than later.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.