The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 35

If Fox “News” isn’t anything, it isn’t subtle. Tracking which people, or memes, it gives voice to on a weekly basis is to witness its naked bias. The Fox “News” Spin Cycle has been designed from the bottom up to expose that Fox “News” bias, and have a little fun at the same time. 

To be serious for a sec: During a week in which many people — including President Obama — spoke about common sense gun safety regulations, Fox “News” promoted none of them, elevating only the most extreme voices in the gun debate. Just another reason why Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be.

It used to be that I could expect to start my week with a leggy cheesecake pic from Ainsley Earworm and pugnacious bravado from Bully Boy Bolling. My how times have changed.
The unintended consequences of a a conservative ‘Merka is an overabundance of assholes.
WTF? Republicans now consider Republican Chuck Hagel an “in your face” nomination? Just more proof that Fox “News” will push out any nonsense, as long as it’s critical to President Obama.
Loofah Lad points out they have hateful and intolerant people in France, just like in ‘Merka. Wee? Oui! See? We ain’t so far apart after all, Falafel King. Is that enough to call off your boycott of France?
Well put. Now the Fox “News” attacks start.
The difference? Dubya was hiding the debt caused by his two wars and his tax cuts. It was a failure of leadership.
One thing you have to admire about Bully Boy Bolling, he’s not afraid to play the clown on tee vee. He’s not afraid to act stupid on tee vee either, however . . . it’s no act..
The “magic coin” idea was dropped more than a week ago. Why are you still harping on it?
Another Fox “News” headline that just makes shit up. There is no proof whatsoever that the “gun permit map” led to this burglary. It could have just been a random crime that happened coincidentally to a home on the “gun permit map.” It is far more logical to assume that IF burglars were really using the “gun permit map” to plan break-ins, they’d burgle people who didn’t have guns, not those who did.

That’s why this headline is another Fox “News” lie.

The real question you should be asking, Falafel King: Is the US becoming too permissive towards loofahs and falafels? Watch:

The Florida prof everybody loves to hate. Fox “News” piles on. Yawn.
Fox “News” spent the entire week trying to paint President Obama as a dictator, a king, a usurper who is coming for your guns. Of course, they didn’t want to say it themselves, so they just repeated it whenever anyone else said it, no matter which idiot said it.
You will not find this quote from President Obama anywhere. He never said it. Newsmax made it up and Fox “News” is happy to pass it along.
Fox “News” is also happy to pass along crazy shit like this, too. It hardly matters what the reality is, as long as Fox “News” can find a way to trash President Obama.
Can we give Steve Doocy a breathalyzer test? Because if you watch him with the sound off he looks drunk.
There are still some Fox “News” babes willing to show off their legs in the name of cheesecake. Sadly, since getting married, Ainsley Earworm is no longer one of them.

Cal Thomas is so NOT “Fair and Balanced” he has his own entry on Right Wing Watch.

Alex Jones, who was exposed as a fire-breathing crazy by Piers Morgan, conducted an interview with a woman stupid enough to believe a program started by Dubya in 2008 was Obama’s program. This extremely-low information voter then goes off on an anti-Obama rant and — for bonus points — she’s Black, which also throws racial politics into this mix of ugly.

And, while it happened on Alex Jones’ radio show, Fox “News” is happy to provide a wider platform for this unmitigated nuttery because it trashes President Obama. Accuracy, not to mention fairness and balance, is beyond the point.

Previous editions of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle documented how Fox “News” turned Jon Hammar into a hero, despite the fact that he was arrested by Mexican border authorities for trying to bring an illegal shot gun into Mexico.

Jon Hammar was been released by Mexico (an event for which Fox “News” was happy to take credit) and his first media appearance was on Fox, natch. Wretched Gretched wet her panties when she heard that he spent his time in a Mexican jail reading The Bible.

Of course President Obama has signed fewer Executive Orders than Dubya, but you never heard the Libertarian sheep bleating about it back then. However, just try and protect children — and other ‘Merkins — from gun violence and suddenly he’s King Obama? Sorry, you’re going to have to do better than that.

OH! Wait!!! What am I talking about? Your brain-dead viewers will believe anything. Never mind.

The resistance he’s facing is coming mainly from Fox “News” and its fearless leader, the NRA.
Last week I told Bully Boy Bolling that despite all the speculation, he’s the ONLY source that is saying definitely that Rand Paul is running for president in 2016. Now he’s claiming that this Politico article confirms his scoop. Yet, the article only speculates that Rand Paul may run in 2016.

No wonder Bully Boy Bolling works for Fox “News.” He simply doesn’t understand the difference between speculation and confirmation, just like so many of those other crazy MoFos at Fox “News.”

“Who was dissing God? Coming up on Fox “News” we get to the bottom of this outrage and send Jesse Watters to get God’s reaction.”
Hannity Prays For Secession. FIXED!!!
Wrong again!

To remind my faithful readers: The Fox “News” Spin Cycle was started precisely because I wanted to have an outlet to show how Fox “News” was WHITEwashing Mendacious Mitt’s election campaign lies. It would seem that Fox “News” hasn’t stopped lying on behalf of Mittens.

What Mendacious Mitt said, in the closing weeks of the election campaign, is that GM was OUTSOURCING ‘Merkin jobs to China. That’s when everybody and his brother — including GM — jumped on Mitt for being a lying sumnabitch. Now Fox “News” is the lying sumnabitch. Romney still isn’t right. The second part of the headline disproves the first part. China is just increasing China’s domestic production.

Try again.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
Two things about this: 1). We only have the NRA’s word for it. 2). Of course there were many people who quit the NRA after its stance on the Newtown Massacre. Fox “News” will never tell you about any of them.
By this time next week there will be a statue of Jon Hammar in every town square in ‘Merka. Or, his 15 minutes of fame will be over. I’m predicting Fox “News” has no more use for him. NEXT!
He’s wrong, of course, and Fox “News” knows it. However, passing it along to its brain-dead followers provides another way for Fox “News” to trash President Obama, but have plausible deniability because it’s only something that “some people say.”
No, Bully Boy. It was a new low when Dubya used children as props.
Here is Dubya using children as props in 2002 as he signs the No Child Left Behind Act.

However, that’s not the only time that Dubya used children. In 2006 he used one as a human shield, the exact criticism that the Reich Wing has been accusing President Obama of. Look:

Note how Dubya is actually using 1-year old Trey Jones as a human shield. That’s because Dubya was vetoing a bill which would have provided federal funds towards embryonic stem cell research. Dubya knew his decision was controversial and decided that using cute children as human shields might inoculate him from criticism.

Here is Bully Boy Bolling and Rush Limbaugh moaning about President Obama’s human sheilds, while forgetting all about Dubya doing the same thing. Watch this idiocy from The Five:

Texas can’t decide which laws to endorse and which laws not to endorse. Who the hell do they think they are? Colorado?

Who is Phil and where are we meeting at 4:13? And why 4:13? Why not 4:20?

Is this woman still a Fox “News” personality?

The NRA started selling this Talking Point on Tuesday and, oddly enough, so did Fox “News.” It’s almost as if the NRA had been writing the Fox “News” scripts.
Someone appears to have ordered a delay. However, there is no proof whatsoever that it was someone on Team Obama, whatever that might mean. However, what can you expect when you are running stories that originated the Breitbart Journalistic Malpractice site. While AP broke the story, that’s not the AP’s original headline, of course.
Fox “News” resigned KKKarl Rove to a new 4-year contract, which only goes to show you how well lying for the GOP will pay, if you do it right.
Almost everybody, including many Conservatives and Republicans, condemned this disgusting, and duplicious, advertisement. It was debunked thoroughly.

Remember: Loofah Lad is the original Culture Warrior. Just ask Andrea Mackris.
Isn’t this precious?

Juan Williams, one of the few sane voices at Fox “News” is trying to get the Fox “News” brain-dead viewers to listen to simple logic and facts. He must know he’s pissing into the wind.

If King Herod and Jesus Christ weren’t BFFs from way back, Fox “News” wouldn’t even care about this exhibit.
I see, it’s all Liberals’ fault.
As proper as Dubya doing the same thing.

Oh, Steve Doocy, you are such a hack.

Bully Boy Bolling never met a false equivalency he didn’t like.
Draws criticism from people at Fox “News” and the NRA, of course. No one else really gives a shit.
And, not a single one of them takes away any guns from anybody.

All that Reich Wing hysteria for nothing.

No gun-grabbing? Better change the topic.
Clearly Geraldo didn’t get the memo.
The Republican Party doesn’t need his help. They are doing a good job of it on their own.
ALERT!! Bully Boy Bolling is lying again.

Yes, it’s true he beat Politico by 2 days, but Bolling’s not the first person to speculate that Rand Paul might run for president in 2016. However, until he actually announces his intentions, it’s NOT news, it’s guesswork.

Therefore, why should anyone trust you on anything, Bully Boy?

“Will be on Hannity tonight to lie about President Obama’s new proposals regarding gun laws. Hope you’ll believe my lies starting at 9:00 PM EST.”


Oy vey!!!
Todd Starnes is fast becoming the latest Reich Wing Radio Crazy. Fox News has embraced his . . . err . . . particular point of view.
No, not really. However, if Brent Bozo’s News Busters attacks someone from NBC, Fox “News” is only happy to pass it along.

Another Fox “News” lie.

The hospital didn’t blame Obamacare in part — or at all — for its decision. Those who had been providing the service have retired or moved. The hospital has decided it’s not cost effective to continue to hire new obstetricians to deliver babies. Obamacare did not factor into the decision at all.

Is there any low to which Fox “News” won’t go to attack the president?
I have previously pointed out how Oliver North uses his cat bird seat as a Fox “News” personality to hawk his books and guided tours of The Holy Land. Now he’s shilling for the NRA. To be fair: So is Fox “News.”
Oh, lookie: Steve Doocy has learned some slang.
Oh, fer fuck’s sake!!!
No, not really. However, Fox “News” loves to attack other networks. It just happens to be CNNs turn.
Despite the fact that President Obama’s recommendations have not affected the Second Amendment whatsoever, Reich Wing Gun Nuts™ are going to continue to pretend it does. And, Fox “News” is happy to help sell that lie.
If you can’t prove that President Obama has nullified the 2nd Amendment, just say that he is still planning to do so. And, Fox “News”is happy to help you sell that lie.
Steve Doocy’s imaginary friend Gus is smarter than Steve Doocy.
Just a reminder: KKKarl Rove also writes regularly for the Wall Street Journal, another Rupert Murdoch entity.
Oh, gorsh!!! Shazam, shazam, shazam.

When I imitate southern people, I have been known to use a southern accent. Another tempest in a teabagger.

Crosshairs? I see what you did there.

These Sheriffs have sworn an oath to uphold the law, all the laws, not just the ones they like.

Just more proof that you can feed the ‘Merkin people garbage and there will always be a lowest common denominator who will eat it right up. McDonald’s has made a fortune on the concept.

The Five may get ratings, but it’s still the worst show on tee vee since ***

We interupt this exciting episode of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle for this Public Service Announcement from Media Matters for America:

What’s to debate?

See? And, the Wall Street Journal never mentions KKKarl Rove’s conflicts of interest either.
So he can walk back the statement that President Obama is a Fascist after so many of his Progressive customers got righteously pissed off.
Are you drunk, Doocy? How many times have you been told not to drunk tweet?
It’s also the company you keep, right?

Take not that an extreme Right Wing facebook page is sharing a link with Fox “News.”

HYPOCRISY ALERT: KKKarl Rove is going to trash President Obama’s non-profit group, while he and Fox “News” never came clean on his non-profit SuperPACs spending an  estimated $300,000,000.00 to game the 2012 election. Despite spending all that money, almost every candidate American Crossroads and Crossroads GRS supported lost. Then there’s that election night meltdown, when Rove couldn’t — nay WOULDN’T — believe the election results.

No wonder Fox “News” resigned him to a new 4-year deal. He’s the perfect charlatan for our times.

When fake girlfriends are outlawed, only outlaws will have fake girlfriends.
Did you skip your AA meeting again?
No. But Fox “News” is making it seem like it does.
What does Fox have against alternative forms of energy? Whenever it gets the chance Fox “News” finds a way to attack all forms of energy that are not fossil fuel-derived. If ‘Merka had been helping to support alternative forms of energy for the last few decades, she may have been able to break the petrol-chemical umbilical cord that connects us to the Middle East.
Just another way for Fox “News” to attack another network’s news anchor. Tom Brokaw, incidentally, is far more respected by the ‘Merkin people than anyone from the Fox “News” Channel. For that matter, He’s far more respected than Mark Levin and Right Scoop, for that matter.
Loofah Lad must not watch MSNBC very often. I have seen many criticisms of President Obama on MSNBC. However, this is not about truth. As mentioned above: Fox “News” just loves to trash other news networks and The Falafel King is happy to play along. Especially as he is seeing that channel he’s criticizing erode on his ratings.

Zzzzzzz . . . 
Oh, Juan! Yer an idiot at times. It’s not “gun control.” It’s “gun safety.” However, you’re happy to repeat Frank Luntz-style language without thinking about the implications of your words. In other words, Juan: You continue to drink the Kool Aid from the Fox “News” fountains.

If you want some (unsolicited) advice, Juan: Get outside of that Fox “News” bubble and you’ll be a whole lot better for it.

Cue the Reich Wing to start attacking in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
Had this politician been a Republican the headline would have been very different:


Still using the humourless Jesse Watters to make fun of Liberals.
Oh lookie who has an hour-long in-kind commercial for his Defending Killing PeopleOrganization: It’s none other than the NRA’s Wayne Pierre, who has already proved himself a soulless hypocrite who attacked the violence of video games for ‘Merka’s gun deaths and then, just a few days later, released a Shoot ‘Em Up App.

NewsHounds watched the hour long commercial for killing machines so I didn’t have to. In a post titled ‘Regular Guys’ Hannity And LaPierre Whine About Those Hypocritical Elites Who Want Stronger Gun Laws it was noted:

Hannity played the NRA’s hideous new ad targeting President Obama and his daughters. Hannity called it a “powerful ad but yet anything the NRA points out seems to just come under attack.”

LaPierre repeated his “media elite hypocrisy” whine and added, “What’s unfair is there are Moms and Dads all over this country getting up and sending their kids to school on Monday and Tuesday of next week that are praying that their kids come home safe. And we could immediately help protect those kids by putting armed security in school, the same armed security the elites have.”

However, as it turned out, that was untrue as well. As NewsHounds reported the very next day:

Fox News loves to point fingers at the so-called “liberal mainstream media” for being too credulous, especially now over the Manti Te’o hoax. So where were Fox’s journalistic skills when the NRA attacked President Obama as an “elite hypocrite” whose own children go to a school with 11 armed guards, while trying to restrict guns elsewhere? Answer: nowhere to be found – just like those mythical armed guards at the Obama daughters’ school. The Washington Post did some real fact checking and guess what? That NRA ad that Hannity gushed over got it wrong. I haven’t seen a correction anywhere else on Fox, either.

TSA perverts everywhere immediately went into mourning.
TSA perverts everywhere immediately went into mourning.
TSA perverts everywhere immediately went into mourning.
“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”

“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”
This is the kind of life minutia that Ainsley Earworm sends out now that she’s married. If you’re reading this, Ainsley: This doesn’t take the place of your leggy cheesecake pictures of yore:
This is the kind of leggy cheesecake your fans are missing, Ainsley. This picture was archived August 20, 2012. There are many more in the archives. However, they mysteriously stopped as soon as you got back from your honeymoon, Ainsley. What’s up with that?
Oh lookie: Bully Boy Bolling takes a swipe at Bob Beckel without actually naming him, knowing full-well his brain-dead followers would know exactly who he’s talking about.

ALSO: Would it be churlish of me to hope that Bully Boy Bolling achieves Sonny Bono zen on the slopes? Or just in poor taste?

Why would any woman agree to be inseminated with Rupert Murdoch’s sperm?
Like the Jesse Watters segments on Fox “News,” this Jimmy Kimmel segment is designed to make people look stupid. I don’t watch the Kimmel Show, so I can’t tell you if they have ever done this with Conservatives, or the GOP, but this is now the 2nd time I have seen Fox “News” pass along a segment because it makes Liberals and Democrats look foolish.

Here’s the psychology of this segment: People don’t want to appear stupid when a supposed “news” person asks them a question and sticks a mic in their face. So they vamp. And, they end up looking even more stupid. If you’re looking for comedy gold, you’ll get it every time. If you are using it to prove some kind of greater truth: FAIL!

The same way Fox “News” spreads. Pass the disinfectant.
“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
Before you get to that: Please explain the popularity of Fox “News.”
Because Fox “News” keeps track of these things. For contrast, Fox “News” is more subtle. It labels Republicans caught in scandals as Democrats. Here’s just one time:
President Obama’s approval has not “plummeted.” It has declined somewhat. Besides, these most recent polls don’t correlate “approval” with “gun safety” (not “gun control”) regulations. In fact, the majority of the ‘Merkin people are in favour of commen sense gun safety regulations. As time goes on we will see whether the president’s push for gun safety improves his approval rating, or hurts it. I’m guessing that the NRA’s approval will plummet instead.

The Texas Tourism Board is changing the states slogan to:

Don’t mess with Texas because we’re the crazy MoFos with all the guns.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
Ted Nugent is the kind of crazy person that Fox “News” (not to mention The Daily Caller) is happy to give voice to. John Henry at Low Genius pegged him with a video titled “Ted Nugent Is An Enormous Coward” that puts the big, tough-talking, draft-dodging, well-named Motor City Madman in his place. Watch:

John Henry’s anti-Nugent rant is a year and a half old already. It doesn’t include his idiocy since then.
This is how the Nugent OpEd began:

As my loyal readers know I have a personal connection to that crazy MoFo Ted Nugent. On Halloween of last year I wrote an EXCLUSIVE article for Stones Detroit called Is Ted Nugent A Racist? Our Stones Detroit Writer Says, “Yes” in which I say:

When I was growing up in Detroit I lived on Gilchrist Street, 5 houses away David Palmer, the original drummer for the Amboy Dukes. When the Amboy Dukes were rehearsing in Dave’s garage, all us neighbourhood kids would gather at the end of the driveway and listen, but we’d catch hell if we took one step onto the property. As a teenager I saw the Amboy Dukes dozens of times in large and small venues and, consequently, have followed the career of Ted Nugent ever since, culminating in his crazy, racist rant earlier this week.

You’ll have to follow the link to see why I think Ted Nugent is a racist.

As the GOP and Teabagger parties disintegrate and point fingers . . . Pass the popcorn!!!
When Hello Kitty Bubble Guns are outlawed, only outlaws will blow bubbles with a Hello Kitty gun.
Take it from Snarky “Steve” Doocy, who used the entire Fox “News” Channel to flog his own book.
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
The Fox “News” Channel can also be called “The God Channel,” but only one God is ever represented. HINT: It’s not the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
Fox “News” is always ready, willing and able to attack the idea of Climate Change. Fox “News” also loves to make Hollywood stars look like hypocrites. This is a rare two-fer.
Fox “News” never met a tax increase it liked.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

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