Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

It’s time for another in my hugely popular Fox “News” Spin Cycle series. As we get closer to the Republican National Convention, and as the Republican Dynamic Duo of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan flounder on simple issues like abortion, Fox “News” has had to ramp up the Fox “News” Spin Cycle to 11. 

However, to be fair, Mittens ramped up the rhetoric to 11, going full-on Birther mid-day Friday. However that seems to be a topic that Fox “News” has been studiously avoiding as best it can. 

So, join me as we travel back to Bizarro World and look, once again, into the hearts (HA!) and minds (double HA!) of the Fox “News” personalities and lay some snark on those who WHITEwash on behalf of Mendacious Mitt and Paul “Ayn” Ryan.

Aside from the fact that Wretched Gretched never knows where to put capital letters, Fox “News” wasn’t trumpeting ANY poll numbers before the race tightened up.

Don’t change a thing. Whatever he’s been doing to be the anti-razzle-dazzle candidate has been working for him.

The only reason Fox “News” did this story is they thought it was about Richard Nixon.

Even with the microscope, they have yet to discover Romney’s heart.

Because Mendacious Mitt & Lyin’ Ryan have no extreme positions on abortion, right? They just want to do away with Roe vs Wade entirely.

Fox “News” loves to attack unionism and this is just a way to get dues-paying unionists to hate their leadership.

No. Next question? Can he win based on lies? A: He’s trying his best.

Another total misrepresentation of what the POTUS said.

Of course, Fox “News” is still not telling its viewers that KKKarl Rove is spending untold MILLIONS of dollars in SuperPAC money to influence this election. He is NOT “Fair and Balanced,” but neither is Fox “News.” A match made in Heaven? Or is that Hell?

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Rove could take credit because his SuperPACS are spending TONS of money lying about President Obama.

No surprise there. Mendacious Mitt is rich and White. Read how Fox “News” is trying to send this story down the Memory Hole.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

They’re . . . err . . . undecided.

Scammity has been promoting this anti-Obama movie for days on end, but then, to be fair, he has been airing his anti-Obama rants for years on end.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

It’s been a full-court press for Fox “News” in Tampa. While they are promising to cover the Democratic National Convention, I’ll lay money its coverage will not be as fulsome.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama.

While Ron Paul identifies as a Republican, the policies he champions are very far from mainstream Republicanism.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Oh! Wait! Never mind.

Republican Charlie Crist has now endorsed President Obama. Don’t hold your breath waiting for Fox “News” to tell its viewers. However, every time a Democrat comes out for Romney, it’ll become national “news.”

Here’s something Fox “News” won’t tell you. Ever! It’s gone down the Memory Hole.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama.

More hagiography from the Fox “News” network.

Someone explain to me why Ann Romney has been given a speaker slot at the convention and why she bumped other, more informed, Republicans.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Oh! Wait! We do every day. Never mind.

Somebody dissed ‘Merka, so Bully Boy Bolling goes all Bully Boy. Good thing he’s not The Hulk. You wouldn’t want to make him angry.

This lie has been debunked many times, but in order to WHITEwash the EXTREME Republican position, Fox “News” will feed this crap sandwich to its low-information viewers they’re full.

Another misrepresentation, but you know that already, didn’t you?

Every day Bully Boy Bolling tells his fans about his morning run. Who the fuck cares?

Alisyn still has a lot to learn about cheesecake photography. C’mon, Aly! At least show as much leg as you do on air.

Because it will be a non-stop President Obama bash-a-thon.

There you go, Aly. Leg!

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Hoo boy!!!

American Crossroads is KKKarl Rove’s SuperPAC, but this is an interesting way of getting Fox “News” viewers to “Quick! Look over there!”

More promotion for this bullshit documentary, based on a bullshit book that has been thoroughly debunked already. In other words: It’s perfect for Scammity, who can be debunked every day.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Rush Limbaugh already has. Can’t we?

Bully Boy Bolling is humbled by the Atlantic Ocean, but sadly, not much else.

Is Sarah Palin still a Fox “News” personality? Clearly she’s no longer a Republican Party personality. She’s not even been invited to the big party this week.

Ingraham is hallucinating. Again!

Notice there are no balancing voices being promoted. Is that fair?

Newsmax totally misrepresented what Reich said, but Fox “News” doesn’t care about truth. Fox “News” only cares about bashing President Obama.

Speaking of crap sandwiches: Rep. Allen West is a Fox “News” favourite who regularly bashes President Obama and all Democrats with incendiary language. So, it’s surprise to see his over-the-top criticisms pushed. Yet, you’ll never see a Democrat’s criticism of West’s crap sandwiches on Fox “News.”

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Still more promotion from Scammity for this bullshit film.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, where Fox “News” will find a way to blame everything bad in this world on President Obama.