Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Scooping up the latest in the Fox “News” Spin Cycle. This latest in my popular series doesn’t even include the day after the night before of the final night of the Republican National Convention. No WHITEwash, or mouthwash, can get the taste of Clint Eastwood Crazy™ out of the nation’s collective mouth, but Fox “News” will try its hardest.

Meanwhile the team of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan needs all the help from Fox “News” it can get. Following the nominated Vice President ‘s speech it was generally agreed that Paul “Ayn” Ryan lied from one end to the other. However, if Fox “News” ever acknowledged his easily debunked lies, I must have blinked. Once again it was like landing on Bizarro world. Fox “News” thought it was the greatest thing since perforated toilet paper, which is the perfect analogy for the shit that came out of his mouth that had to have been pulled from his ass.

Let’s get right to it.

In other words, there are several areas where Fox “News” can sow doubt about President Obama, whether it is true, or not.

Shorter Fox “News:” After we outed the name of this author, we’ll ignore the fact that the Pentagon says he may have broken the law in order so that we can say his account differs from the one from the White House.

It’s no longer a secret: Clint Eastwood isn’t much of a speaker.

Scammity promotes another anti-POTUS movie. If you ever want FREE advertising for a project, make an anti-Obama movie. You’ll get tons of FREE publicity.

But of course, Loofah Lad will interrupt and heckle, barely letting Colmes get a word in edgewise.

Yet, Fox “News” never fires anyone for saying offensive things about President Obama. Remember Bully Boy Bolling’s Hizzy House?

Brain Brian Kilmeade also uses his feed to promote his radio show, with a familiar name.

Forgetting all about Rudy “A Noun, A Verb, 9/11” Giuliani’s ethical lapses, those Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends actually suggested he’d make a great Attorney General in a Romney White House.

Of course it goes too far. When Fox “News” uses a question mark, it’s called a “Cavuto Mark” in honour of Neil.

Shep is in his glory. He gets to cover a natural disaster as he ignores the unnatural disaster in Tampa.

The Mendacious Mitt I want to know is what’s in those tax returns.

Oh! Stop!! My!!! Sides!!!!

The Daily Bret? Oh, please.

Not likely the pit bull with lipstick. Sarah Palin couldn’t even get on Fox “News” on Wednesday. She was forced to play victim, which is apparently her comfort zone, from the sidelines on her facebook feed.

Why doesn’t Fox “News” disclose Karl Rove’s clear conflict of interest? Brain Brian Kilmeade goes full Bizarro and claims Rove is a “blind partisan.”

But The Five can stop Bob Beckel from speaking. They do it every day. Who did Wretched Gretched leave out? I’m sure that was just an oversight.

I thought it would be someone’s crazy uncle and I was right.

Is Geraldo still on Fox “News”?

Karl Rove looked forward to Thursday. Harry Nilsson never did.

And yet the Supreme Court ruled it is. Am I reading a different Constitution than Rand “Ayn” Paul?

Until Clint Eastwood unleashed his crazy on the RNC, John McCain was every Republican’s favourite crazy uncle.

The truth, which was exactly the opposite of what Lyin’ Ryan delivered.

Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he? Detect a theme yet? Nothing about Mitt’s Mendacity and Ryan’s Lyin’ will ever pass the lips from a Fox “News” personality.

Ainsley “Airhead” Earworm has done away with the cheesecake and now just takes pictures of inanimate objects. Here’s what her TelePrompter looks like from her vantage point.

HAW! HAW! HAW!

That actually improves Laura Ingraham’s charisma and foreshadows all the lies that she spews.

If the DNC ever used a “news” personality, Fox “News” would go bonkers. But Huckleberry’s okay with them.

Fox “News” was pushing the transcripts of a speech before the speech had even ended. What’s up with that?

Now Ainsley Earworm is now taking pictures of tee vee monitors. I guess she has a really bad seat at the RNC.

Fox “News” couldn’t get enough of Condoleeza Rice. Down the memory hole went how she helped lie the country into President Bush’s illegal war.

A split sentence – one part true the other a lie. Lyin’ Ryan has to pretend he’s confident, tho’.

It’s be a Republican Love In.

I thought it had more lies in it than a Hotel Marriott. See what I did there?

TRANSLATION: Forget the fact that I voted for the Bush tax cuts, voted for both of his wars, and voted in favour of sequestration, which is what helped put you in that basement.

More lies packed into a short speech than you’ll find in an entire day on Fox “News.”

At the risk of repeating myself: More lies packed into a short speech than you’ll find in an entire day on Fox “News.”

Which means more lies are coming. Hope you’re wearing your Fox “News” branded hip waders, available at Bill O’s Store’0’Crap.

Fox “News” SciTech doesn’t understand how this whole propaganda thing works. It needs to find a way to trash the POTUS.

The lines where he wasn’t lying. Oh! Wait!! Never mind.

The only Dem on that list is Joe Trippi, who sides with the Republicans anyway.

Exact Ann Romney quote to a Latin audience: “You people know how to party!” Hoo boy!!!

Since Hulk Hogan came out in favour of Mendacious Mitt, why not plug his Beach Shop?

His ultimate objective is to fool as many ‘Merkins as possible. However, truth would be preferable

And still nothing on his conflict of interest.

More promotion of Hulk Hogan. If he had said he was voting for President Obama, he would have never made it onto Fox “News.”

Smithereens? Just another one of those action words that Fox Nation loves to use when it’s trying to make more out of something than it really deserves. BTW: Fox Nation never passes along all those Politifact Pants On Fire ratings it gives to Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan.

I would have thought Fox “News” would have dropped this down the memory hole.

Poor Sarah “Victim” Palin, relegated to the sidelines where her endorsements are almost meaningless.

Hoo boy!!!

If lies were gold, Lyin’ Ryan could have paid off the national debt with his RNC speech.

And the morning after Clint’s appearance speculation swirls whether he’s got all his marbles.

Rove has a lot of nerve to talk about an alternative reality. It’s where he lives.

Lie, lie, lie.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You just know that Michael Moore was far more nuanced than that. He said he feared that the money from the Romney SuperPACs, like Karl Rove’s f’rinstance, might buy the White House.

We all know that Rush Limbaugh is a disgusting pig. He proves it every time he opens his mouth. But look at how Fox “News” is using Rush Limbaugh to play the Race Card. They throw it out there so they can pretend it’s Rush who said it and their hands are clean. Which is more disgusting? Rush taking ownership of his Racist Twaddle™ or Fox “News” pretending it is NOT a Racist Propaganda Machine?

Another Ablow job from Dr. Keith.

FIXED!!! Tune in to primetime coverage of the RNC tonight – I’ll be on the Fox panel after Mitt Romney’s speech lying my dumpy ass off.

You can just barely see it, but Shep Smith has a hard on from covering another natural disaster.

What he left out, of course, is how his great grandfather fled to Mexico so he could continue to practice polygamy once it was outlawed in ‘Merka.

Translation: Voucher systems will starve the public school system, creating a country of haves and have nots.

These pants are too baggy to see Shep’s hard on, but you can be sure it’s there.

This is not a joke: The RNC had considered a holographic Ronald Reagan, but vetoed the idea when they realized it would come off as more lifelike than Mendacious Mitt.

Another tired and old idea, apparently, is speaking the truth.

Oh that Ann Coulter. She’s such a kidder! Wait!!! What??? She wasn’t kidding? Hoo boy!!!

Another Ainsley Earworm pic of an inanimate object. Go back to the cheesecake, Ainsley.

I never thought it was a good idea for an 82-year old to give an ad libbed speech, but what do I know?

…While I help myself to your money through higher taxes.

When did speaking the truth become old and tired? Ever since Mendacious Mitt hooked up with Lyin’ Ryan.

As Fox “News” promises to do everything to help me win this election.

On to Charlotte, North Caroline. Now we will see whether Fox “News” will be so slavishly fawning at the DNC. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? It will be a non-stop POTUS bash-a-thon. Stay tuned for Episode One Dozen.