The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode Lucky Thirteen
Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Here we go again. This edition of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle begins early Tuesday morning and ends after First Lady Michelle Obama delivered her stem-winder of a speech.

One thing that it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt is Laura Ingraham has far too much time on her hands. 

So let’s jump into our spaceship and head off to Bizarro World, where nothing ever makes any sense.

As always the Fox “News” day begins with a cheesecake pic from Ainsley Earworm.
No exercise today, Bully Boy Bolling?

I’m sure you’ll tell us right away, Wretched Gretched, even though it will be more than 14 hours before he delivers it.

Brain Brian Kilmeade without a voice can only be an improvement.

Joe Trippi is one of the fake Democrats Fox “News” uses to pretend to be fair & balanced.
The problem is he often agrees with KKKarl Rove, who Fox “News” pretends is not
spending more than $100,000,000.00 with his 2 SuperPACs to defeat President Obama.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

This is what KKKarl Rove wants you to believe because Mendacious Mitt is not going to win Florida.

“Stay tuned . . . on the Fox “News” God  Channel. We’ve got Jesus’ back.”

My main thought is you could do better than Fox “News.”

That’s Tuesday’s ass kissing done with.

Not exactly true. He compared Lyin’ Ryan’s lying to Goebbels’ Big Lie, which is totally accurate.

Well, for one, George W. Bush is no longer President and can’t start any
more illegal wars. Would you like the rest in alphabetical order?

Of course Fox “News” had to make the point that President Obama is the only
president that has NOT visited the Billy Graham Library. What about Lincoln?

I’m not sure that asking the question in a different way will get you a different answer.
If he doesn’t float, he’s not a witch.

Yes. Next question.

George W. Bush built that.

How many free commercials are they going to give the Pita Pit? He was also on yesterday.

Just so Right Wing idiots like you can go apoplectic.

TRANSLATION: Republicans will be lying their asses off in order to make the President look bad. Just like every other day.

Let’s give him another 4 years and see if he completes it. ‘Merka gave George W. 4 more years and he screwed
up everything he touched. Besides, Mendacious Mitt is using Bush’s advisers. We don’t need that again.

A free abortion voucher for everybody!!! And two for every man!!!

But again, Fox “News” and KKKarl Rove have NEVER admitted that Rove is spending over
$100,000,000.00 through 2 SuperPACs to defeat President Obama. How can he be trusted?

I don’t gotta do nothing.

“Quick! How can we blame it on President . . . OH! Wait!”

The “No Spin Zone” is as empty a slogan as “Fair & Balanced.”

Knowing how badly John McCain lost the last election, after foisting Sarah Palin on the world,
he’s the last person I would take advice from. That’s why I hope Mendacious Mitt listens to him.

Oh, fer fuck’s sake. Give it a rest already.

Bully Boy Bolling has never answered one of my questions.
Pretty pictures!!!

KKKarl Rove makes false claims every time he opens his mouth
and forgets to confess to his EXTREME conflict of interest.

Is Geraldo is still on Fox “News”? This is funny considering he later apologized for criticizing Eastwood.

Bully Boy Bolling and the GOP wants you to forget that George W. built that debt.
Another bullshit Factor poll.

A total misrepresentation of what the First Lady said, which is why Fox “News” would feature it.

Imagine how Fox “News” would bleat if a Democratic operative said something so
inflammatory. However, because a “Republican heavyweight” said it, it’s all cool.

This was done merely to contrast with what Fox “News” will lie about tomorrow what was said at the DNC.

Here’s where the magic happens and by magic I mean where they pull facts out of thin air.

Sununu calling anyone incompetent is as ridiculous as Fox “News” calling itself “Fair & Balanced.”

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Fox “News” babes would be lost without these “makeup miracle workers.”

Are you sure, Laura?
One artists makes a picture and Fox “News” elevates it to a national story.

Bully Boy Bolling is still reliving his glory days of just last week, when he was in friendly territory.

This isn’t from Fox “News,” but it dovetails with Ingraham’s update above and adds visual context to this story from The Atlantic “Foxy Ladies; Why one network applies so much makeup.” It’s actually quite a funny article.

Hoo boy!!!

No, just an awkward talk show host.

Regardless who we owe it to, George W. Bush built it.

If the white sheet fits . . . .

Bully Boy Bolling glad-handing with Wing Nut Jon Voight and a bunch of other GOP Wing Nuts.

He would have completed a lot more, had he not had the obstreperous “Party of No” as the opposition.

No, Laura. They have intelligence.

In case you missed it when those Foxy Friends said it on Fox and Friends, here it is again. Of course it’s a lie.

Really, Laura? You’re going to make fun of goofy people dressed in a goofy manner? Do I
have to drag out those crazy Teabaggers, with their misspelled racists signs and tri-cornered hats?

Classy, Laura. If you’re going to make fun of fat people, let’s get Chris Christie out here again.

Here’s where the bullshit all started.

“Quick! How can we blame it on President Carter?”

She calls herself the enemy, which only proves she’s not “Fair and balanced.”

There’s not enough dope in the world to get me high enough to think your misanthropy is beautiful, Laura.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Enough, Laura, enough!!!

This is pretty much the only person Fox “News” didn’t try to smear. However,
a war hero is generally untouchable, unless your name is Max Cleland.

In case you forgot where this bullshit started.

How long do you think it will be before Fox “News” gives Tammy Duckworth
the Max Cleland treatment? Oh, wait! Rep Joe “Scumbag” Walsh already has.

But you still won’t tell the Fox “News” low-information audience about your conflicts of interest.

One of the best speeches I have ever seen. Fox “News” talking heads “damned her with faint praise.”

But it’s true. However, Fox “News” is just throwing out more red meat to its low-information viewers.

It’s almost amusing to watch how furious the Fox “News” Spin Cycle spun last week to WHITEwash mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan, especially when compared to this week. This week Fox “News” is not WHITEwashing for Mittens, it’s BLACKwashing against President Obama. Look for it to get a whole lot worse as the week goes on, especially if the DNC does well.



About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.