Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

At the rate Fox “News” is spinning in order to WHITEwash for the Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan Republican ticket, I may have to start updating The Fox “News” Spin Cycle twice a day, as opposed to just once a day. However, to be fair, it was the first day of the delayed Republican National Convention and Fox “News” had a lot of time on its hands and bullshit to shovel at its low-information viewers.

So hang on tight as we venture back into Bizarro World. Remember to keep your arms in at all times.

Wretched Gretched continues her e.e. cumings-style of idiosyncratic CaPitalIzaTion.

Doesn’t she realize how stupid it makes her look?

Clearly not, otherwise she’d have stopped by now.

Despite what Fox “news” would haver you believe, the monster larva is not the Democratic Party.

They have that backwards. How will the RNC impact the Tea Party, which has clearly taken over the GOP?

More “swiftboating” of the POTUS. Remember: “Swiftboating” is pushing a lie, like was done against John Kerry.

Mania is the right word for how Fox “News” has been sucking up to the RNC.

Because it’s a lying piece of shit. The less said about it, the better. Except on Fox “News,” which seems to think it’s a blockbuster of “Avatar” proportions because it can’t stop talking about it and promoting it, even though it’s still a load of horse shit.

This was such a bizarre segment. Those Foxy Friends at Fox & Friends got the Oak Ridge Boys to sing the National Anthem for entertainment value. Then, later in the day, when the National Anthem was being sung on stage at the RNC, Megyn Kelly talked right over it. Fox “News,” where patriotism is for the other guys.

Can’t imagine what he might say.

About that debt? Republicans really did build it.

The truth, but I’m not holding my breath.

Ellen Barkin said something stupid, so Fox “News” elevates it to national news. It never does this for Ted Nugent’s idiotic rants, however. Why Barkin? She has been a long time punching bag for Fox “News” and Loofah Lad O’Reilly.

Two Mensa members.

More of Brain Brian Kilmeade hobnobbing with celebrities.

I remember when Dennis Miller was funny. Sadly, Bill “Falafel King” O’Reilly still thinks he’s funny.

The POTUS has been ready to compromise all along, even to the point of angering Democrats and Progressives. However, Fox “News” wants to peddle this new pile of manure that he’ll only compromise once he’s re-elected. When he’s re-elected he won’t need to compromise.

They’re all Teabaggers now that the Koch-suckers have taken over the GOP.

Hoo boy!!!

Because the Republican Platform and Mendacious Mitt certainly won’t do it.

I heard no “squashing,” just a small swipe. But Fox Nation loves these action words like “demolishes” and “eviscerates.” It’s part of its creative writing and rewriting history.

Can the GOP keep the focus off who created that debt? [See above.]

See? “Unloads” is just one of those action words I just described.

“This is where I make shit up.”

Only if Romney’s Tax Returns and the GOP’s regressive abortion policy is studiously ignored.

It’d be less windy if you closed your mouth, Bully Boy Bolling.

O’Reilly is walking a tightrope with this topic. He doesn’t want people to remember how he attacked Dr. George Tiller relentlessly and how a nut job took him seriously and killed Dr. Tiller.

The only one of these presidents who would be welcomed by today’s Teabagger GOP Party is AU H2O, and I’m not so sure he’d like what the party has become.

Because it’s so easy to make fun of protestors.

You think it’s easy pulling facts out of his ass?

If Bret Baier is cruising, he’s definitely on the wrong side of town. I don’t think he ever did fix that link.

Because the “Take the country back to the 1950s” theme hasn’t been working at all.

Fox “News” has diversified and is now running a fleet of cabs in Tampa. Will they show up for the DNC?

Does he even have a hack license? I’d make sure he’s not taking the long way around, just trying to run up the meter.

Because they have been, but Fox “News” will never admit that because they do it too.

I missed it on purpose, silly boy.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Because making fun of protestors is as easy as falling off a wooden Romney.

Formally? I saw no tuxedos.

Everyone knows that when Republicans move into “full swing” it means putting everyone’s house keys in a big bowl and . . . What? Oh! Sorry, I misunderstood. That’s for later, back at the hotel.

Fox “News” trumpeted this like it was some kind of surprise that was totally unexpected.

There’s actually some real “news” going on and Shep Smith gets to cover it from the balcony of the same hotel I stayed in when I was in New Orleans for the first Mardi Gras after New Orleans.

“Special coverage” means there will be more fawning over Mendacious Mitt than usual.

Mayor Love spreads the POTUS hate.

Provided you have money. If you’re poor, you’re on your own. If you’re a woman, better get used to being marginalized.

Romney’s plan WILL work for ‘Merka, provided you’re in the the 1% of the Ruling Class at the top of the heap.

Right after he rewards his cronies with more tax cuts and sends all the good jobs off-shore, just like he always has.

Trolling for responses and the low information Fox “News” viewers are happy to oblige.

Real leaders lose weight.

I feel ripped off. Where’s today’s Fox and Friends First cheesecake shot?

No capital letters and a misspelling of the three letter word “Gov.” Good work, Wretched Gretched.

Yet, “Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders” gets capitalized. Hoo boy!!!

More bad grammar from Wretched Gretched. She’s so inconsistent about it, too.

Of course Rove loved it all and never admitted he has 2 SuperPACs dedicated to defeating the POTUS.

The only side of Mendacious Mitt I want to see is his backside.

What speeches did Fox “News” ignore? It’s always amusing, and terribly disingenuous, when Fox “News” points out another channels bias. It’s usually wrong, too.

Fox “News” is getting a lot of mileage out of this book, after they outed the name of the author and pointed out where he lived. Al Qaeda has now put out a assassination hit on him. Another job well done, Fox “News.”

The elephant in the room is Mendacious Mitt’s constant lying.

There have been “scorching” anti-Romney ads, but you’ll never see Loofah Lad promote them.

Present buttocks; apply lips.

When you have women and minorities trumpeting the Mendacious Mitt/Fox “News” lie of “You didn’t build that” then I would call it “window dressing.” When they speak for themselves, I’ll change my mind.

Stay tuned for Episode Eleven of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, which I’ll have to be starting almost immediately if I want to keep on top of this.