Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

The Fox “News Spin Cycle is working overtime, which means I am having to work overtime just to keep up with it. You can see how scared Fox “News” is by how furious the SPIN cycle is working to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. They must be reading the same polling I am: Their own.

Episode One of this series ran on Monday. Thirty-two hours later there was enough for Episode Two with sixteen entries. Now just 11 hours later, I have enough for Episode Three and I even culled some. If it keeps up at this rate, this could become a full time job.

But, enough about me. Let’s get to the highlights lowlights: It’s all dog whistles, lies, and general weirdness.

Dog whistle: The First Lady had some things to say about Affirmative Action on campus way back then. TWEET!

Bully Boy Bolling’s testosterone-fueled Faux Outrage Machine. Man up? Fox “News” has the franchise on Faux Outrage and soon it will be offering a Buy One, Get One sale. I recommend waiting for the deep discount.

Dog Whistle: Immigrants!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! TWEET!

While we all need to condemn violence, this story is a rare-two-fer for Fox “News.” It has Chick-fil-A and a gunman shooting at Conservatives, aka the Family Research Council, which “some people say” is just comprised of intolerant assholes. Immediately Fox “News” jumped into action: Megyn Kelly called this a case of Domestic Terrorism. Yet when a mad gunman shot and killed several people at a Sikh Temple in Colorado, Megyn Kelly hosted Judge Andrew Napolitano who said that shooting WAS NOT Domestic Terrorism. However, he insisted the Fort Hood shooting WAS. Consistency has never been a strong suit of Fox “News” or Libertarian Judge Nap.

Would you be surprised that this was a total distortion of what was said? Me neither.

Remember: It’s only swiftboating if it’s not true. This is swiftboating at its finest.

Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly just had to get into the act.

Why wouldn’t he defend his VP from the Faux Outrage Machine?

Mama Grizzly just had to get in on the act. “Some people say” perpetual victim Sarah Palin invented the Faux Outrage Machine. Patent Pending.

This is the softball interview with Brit Hume, when Pakul Ryan threw Ayn Rand under the bus. He was for her before he was against her. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Ryan without A-Y-N.

More testosterone, trying to make it appear as if Romney actually has some balls. Look at all those CAPITAL LETTERS! It must be true!

Hannity sent out many promotions for his friendly, softball radio interview with Paul Ryan…

…and he gets Ryan to go to the Faux Outrage Machine. Who’s desperate? If this was your big take-away from the interview, Hannity? It must have been dull as hell.

He’s not only buff, but he’s a rainmaker too. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Romney without M-O-N-E-Y.

Another promotion for his softball interview with Brit Hume. I flunked Chemistry.

Wait!!! What??? How did this accurate assessment get loose? Ahhh, I see now. It’s “sad” that women hate the GOP, who want to put a meter on their vaginas. Got it!

I don’t know what to make of this one. Of course it’s a way to slam a Democrat, who had once called herself Bisexual, but now identifies as Pansexual. But, brunette??? What do they have against brunettes? Oh wait! It’s Fox “News” where being blonde almost seems to be a job requirement.

It’s not that difficult for SOME people to prove who they are. This ruloing, unless it’s overturned, is going to create chaos on election day, which is probably what the GOP wants.

You don’t hear much about these Koch suckers on Fox “News.” Here Fox “News” outsourced the job to Newsmax.

And that, dear readers, is Episode Three of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. If the pace keeps up as it has been, Episode Four will be ready as soon as you finish reading Episode Three.