Category Archives: Unpacking The Writer

Unpacking The Writer ► April 2014

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Welcome readers both new and old. Once a month, on an irregular schedule, I drop a blog post under the rubric Unpacking the Writer, where I pull back the curtain and expose some of what’s happening on this side of the keyboard, much like Toto did to The Wizard of Oz.

Which is only appropriate because I wrote under the nom de plume of Aunty Em for NewsHounds, the motto of which is “We watch Fox so you don’t have to.” Clearly, I did a very good job of exposing Fox “News” mendacity. You know how I can tell? Although I left NewsHounds more than 2 years ago, the same crazy, obsessive Fox “News” defending, cyber-stalking bullies I picked up back then continue to hound me to this very day. [See what I did there?]

BOOK CORNER: I’ve been writing about the exciting adventures battling my cyber-stalking bullies — chapter by chapter — since the day I launched this blog. They’ve been published at Not Now Silly as needed and now comprise quite a thick dossier on what crazy obsessives do in the Age of the Internet. In previous times they’d be standing on street corners babbling incoherently. This medium keeps them off the street, unless they have a phone smarter than they are.

As of late [and mentioned only to satisfy Grayhammy’s vast curiosity, because he keeps asking] I have been working with an editor to give the project more ‘”shape,” as they keep putting it. They believe The Johnny Dollar Wars could be turned into a Laff Riot Situation Comedy or a blockbuster Gothic Horror movie. [It works both ways.] Until I post a compendium, the best place to start is Anatomy of a Cyber-Feud, which is currently the #3 most popular post at Not Now Silly for the past 30 days, despite it being published way back in December. If you want to keep up with the daily shoot & miss tactics of The Flying Monkey Squad, you’re personally invited to join The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society, on the facebookery.

Follow the day-to-day craziness of my cyber-stalking bullies at The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society page.
HARD WORK: Forging Farce Au Pain from the raw alphabet.

CHAPTER TWO: My other book, Farce Au Pain, proceeds a lot slower than I ever expected when I promised serialization way back when. I anticipated having more time to work on it, but life and new Coconut Grove stories keep getting in the way. It doesn’t help that I chose to make my task more difficult. Because it’s being published on the Internet, I decided to link all the facts and references to the existing internet proofs as I edit the manuscript. There are a lot of those, which you’ll notice when it’s eventually published. I’m closing in on it, but I’ve learned better to make any hard promises, otherwise Grayhammy will squawk again. Hopefully I’ll have some news on that front very soon. Stay tuned. Check your local listings. Coming to a browser near you, and all that Jazz.

COCONUT GROVE CORNER: Still awaiting news of a Trolleygate settlement in West Grove. Almost 2 months ago I wrote Is Trolleygate Headed For An Out Of Court Settlement? To quote myself:

So confident are all the parties that an agreement is possible, that they’ve requested a 60-day freeze in all legal proceedings to see if they can all get on the bus. Based on the anger expressed at the Village Council Meeting, it may be an uphill climb on a rough road to a negotiated settlement.


The broad outline of the proposed settlement looks like this: Coral Gables agrees to drop its lawsuit against Astor Development that asks a judge to abrogate its contract with the developer. Meanwhile Astor Trolley/Astor Development agrees to stick the new fake trolley garage RIGHT WHERE IT IS NOW, more or less, as opposed to the non-conforming White Elephant on Douglas Road.

Those 60 days are just about up, if they haven’t expired already. I should put in a few calls. I’ll add that to my ever-increasing To Do List.

This is where the next sidewalk ends.
This historic walkway has been fixed.

MY LATEST WRITING PROJECT: I’ve slowing been crafting another chapter in my ongoing series Where The Sidewalk Ends, Racism Begins (of which there has been only one so far). The next one will delineate another segment of The Colour Line in Coconut Grove, pictured at left.

The Coconut Grove Colour Line has existed for decades. The line was
always meant to keep Black Grove separated from White Grove. But, it’s not just ancient history.

Current segments of The Colour Line are as concrete as the cinder block wall described in Where The Sidewalk Ends, Racism Begins.
Other parts of The Colour Line in Coconut Grove are subtle and almost
imperceptible to the naked eye, unless you know what to look for. Still
other parts of The Colour Line are as clear as black and white when
looking at maps of property values and demographics in Coconut Grove. 

A close up of the fence seen in the background [above left]. Two
feet have been added to the top of it within the last few weeks.

Although the building of The Colour Line in Coconut Grove is ancient history, some of the walls along it were not only maintained, but made taller and more formidable as time went on, a process that continues to this very day. Shockingly so.

Within the last few weeks the latest spot I have been struggling to write about has had its fence — this small segment of The Colour Line — grow 2 feet taller by just nailing new boards over the old. Look for the next blog post on The Colour Line, coming soon to a browser near you.

THE CORNER OF MAIN HIGHWAY AND CHARLES AVENUE: This is where it all began for me 5 years ago when I discovered the Historical Marker and started researching and writing about this small corner of the world. Here are some quick updates:

The deal concerning the Coconut Grove Playhouse continues to unfold exactly as the residents had hoped it never would. The Miami Parking Authority has now painted HUGE arrows in the parking lot on Main Highway, directing traffic to an exit on Charles Avenue. This has increased the traffic in both directions along the Historic Roadway, along which you will find the Coconut Grove Playhouse; the Charles Avenue Historical Marker; the E.W.F. Stirrup House; the former Odd Fellows Hall; the Mariah Brown House, the first house built on Charles; ending at the Charlotte Jane Memorial Park Cemetery, named after the wife and childhood sweetheart of Mr. Stirrup and at the time of its founding the only place in Miami Black folk could be buried.

Meanwhile rapacious developer Gino Falsetto continues to chip away at The Colour Line in Coconut Grove. His Aries Development has checkmated the Coconut Grove Playhouse with the acquisition of the Bicycle Shop on Main Highway at one end. This adds to the property he’s controlled for a while: the two empty lots immediately west of the Playhouse and the E.W.F. Stirrup House immediately across the street. Now whatever people want to build in between all those properties will have to go begging to Aries Development, hat in hand.

Pops on his 88th birthday, February 14, 2014

PERSONAL CORNER: My family and closest friends know, but I’ve not shared this with Not Now Silly readers yet: I came to Florida after the death of my mother to look after Pops. It’s starting to weigh on me and maybe writing about it will help me work some things out.

I’ve been in Sunrise for 9 years, arriving just in time for Hurricane Wilma. When I arrived, Pops was fine, despite his having a stroke about 20 years ago. He battled back and you would never know he had had one.

Pops didn’t really need me to care for him. He was capable of accomplishing more in a day than I did. However, he is of a generation of men who knows where the kitchen is, but just doesn’t know what kind of magic gets food on the table. If I weren’t here, he’d be getting all his meals out of the microwave. A fried egg is beyond his expertise.

However, in every other way he was competent. Three or 4 days a week Pops played 9 holes of golf on the course that wends its way around the condo complex. He’d hang with his buddies at Subway or the condo clubhouse. The last few years he’s been slowing down. At first he’d only play 8 holes of golf, knocking off at the one closest to our building. Then it was 5 holes, meeting up with his crew on the 4th and playing with them through 8.

He may have battled back against the stroke, but he’s getting pummeled by the years. Within the last year he’s been admitted to the hospital twice, both times for having a bit of trouble catching his breath. The last visit was 3 weeks ago. He’s just not bounced back the way we all thought he would afterwards. And, he hasn’t played any golf since. He’s just had a round of tests to see whether we can get to the bottom of this latest problem and we’ll get the results in a few days when we visit the pulmonologist again. Meanwhile he’s on a Nebulizer twice a day and an inhaler 4 times a day and his movements are resricted by his lack of energy.

We’ve recently convinced Pops to start using a cane. After the stroke he always had a very slight imbalance. However, lately it’s been more pronounced. He seems unaware of how he tacks to the right as he walks without assistance. My biggest fear, of course, is that he’s going to fall when I’m not here or when I’m asleep. That’s why I now always make sure a walker and cane are within reach.

This all means I am getting to Coconut Grove less often than I would like, but I wouldn’t suggest Gino Falsetto relax. I still pop into Coconut Grove when I’m least expected. Recently I was fortunate enough to meet his wife Magda. Maybe one day soon I can meet the brains behind Aries Development and can ask him questions directly. Meanwhile, you can help Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House by joining the Facebook group.

Unpacking the Writer ► Closing Out Another Year

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Crazy angles. Just like Batman.

Long-time readers of Not Now Silly know that Unpacking The Writer is a monthly feature, in which I pull back the curtain and reveal the man pulling the levers.

AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!!

New readers may be unaware that this is also my clever way to remind people to click on the adverts on these pages. The few cents I get from the monthly clicks don’t even cover the cost of storing the pics I use. [Did I say “few”? I meant miniscule.] However, now that Google has lowered the price of storage, I might actually be at the break-even point. Whoopie!

No matter. While money was never the reason I started a blog, it would be nice to make a few dollars here and there for all the hard work I put into these posts. On your mark. Get set. Start clicking.

I compare myself to Superman whenever I can.

Something else new readers may not know: I had a residency for a few years at NewsHounds, the motto of which is “We watch Fox so you don’t have to.” Because I was concerned Right Wing Crazies™ might want to hunt me down, I used a nom de plume. Because I thought it was funny, that pseudonym was Aunty Em Ericann. Because that so upset Right Wing Crazies™, some of them decided to hunt me down.

It’s the circle of life.

So, the Right Wing Crazies™ hunted me down and exposed my secret identity, just like I was a superhero and they were trying to conquer the world. No one ever accused them of being Braniacs, however.

In an effort to destroy me — because he couldn’t refute my message — Johnny Dollar was stupid enough to publish details of my alternative lifestyle at his sewer because, clearly, my sex life falls under his stated rubric of CABLE NEWS TRUTH. That’s the story I tell in the very first post on this blog: Johnny Dollar has Proven Himself To Be A Very Dangerous Person.

TRUE STORY: This blog was launched to expose Mark Koldys. Therefore, if you like this blog, you have Johnny Dollar to thank for it. It’s my modest suggestion that the very best way to thank Johnny Dollar is to share my Johnny Dollar stories all across the World Wide Interwebs. Feel free to repost.

The more that people learn about Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham, the more repulsed they are. They are saddened such evil motherfuckers like Johnny Dollar and Grayhammy actually exist. They are outraged that people would do such a thing over political differences. They understand that I might be willing to forget this silly little cyber-feud — even after 3 years of relentless and mendacious attacks — except Koldys and/or Graham keep reminding me it’s time to write about them all over again. What’s funny is how they keep trying to convince people that they are the victims.

For all those reasons I ask my faithful readers to share, or trade, these blog posts with your family and friends. Here’s are some good places to start:

blackflon was once part of the Flying Monkey Squad, but became bored and
gave up his part in the feud. Maybe Mark Koldys & Ashley Graham will take a clue.

I guess I’m just nostalgic for the earliest days of this blog. While it started with the mission to destroy Johnny Dollar, I’ve branched out considerably since then.

For the first year — to keep the continuity and to bring along my NewsHound fans — this blog was slapped with the unweildy title of Headly Westerfield’s “Aunty Em Ericann” Blog, which I got tired of typing. A year ago, April 1st, I simplified it to Not Now Silly, the URL I had chosen a year earlier. It occurs to me that I’ve not told that story here:

When I was originally setting up this blog I was asked to come up with a URL. I knew that it was something that I’d have to live with for a while, so I typed one possibility after another. They were either already taken, or just seemed stupid when I stared at it long enough. I was just starting to get frustrated when Pops called me from the other room. “Not Now Silly” is what my fingers automatically typed. Then I hit enter. It was as good as any URL, I suppose and, just like every problem, I was over-thinking it. 

For some reason Keg tried it in blue before we settled on sepia.

When I decided to rename the blog last year, I reverted to that URL. Keg designed a logo I that I love, based on a pic I found on the innertubes.

To blow my own horn: I’m most proud of my investigative writing on Coconut Grove. Back when I was still disguised as Aunty Em, I wrote my first blog posts on the Charles Avenue Historical Marker. Accidentally stumbling across that marker led me to all my other reporting on Coconut Grove, from the Demolition by Neglect of the E.W.F. Stirrup House; to the quiet racism that led to Trolleygate; the historical racism that led to Old Smokey; right on down to documenting The Colour Line as it shifts throughout the history of Coconut Grove.

And, my Coconut Grove posts do pretty good, click-wise, because I have regular readers now who want to know what I’ve uncovered lately. However, nothing could have prepared me for the click action on my post of February 22nd, Aries Development Continues To Rape Charles Avenue, all about the illegal cutting of the trees at the E.W.F. Stirrup House. It garnered 1297 clicks in just a month, jumping to the #3 in the Not Now Silly Top Ten. Sadly that knocked one of my Johnny Dollar posts down to the #9 position.

Readers: I do it for you. Without my readers, these words would be meaningless. These last two years have been a great ride. I sure hope you’re going to stick around for the next few. Here are some videos I made that combines my love of history and my obsessive picture collecting. See you around the funny papers. Oh, and click on an advert. It won’t cost you a thing and you’ll feel better for it.

Unpacking The Writer ► Unpacking The Readers

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If you’re relatively new to Not Now Silly, and/or my Unpacking The Writer series, let me hip you to one salient fact right now, so you don’t feel foolish from here on out: 

Long-time visitors are already clicking on every advert they can find on this page and the next. “Why?” you might ask. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Where my readers are from and the browsers they use? Wait! China?

Ready? Because this is the series in which I ask — either subtly or blatantly (and this month I’m going with blatant) — for you to help me pay for some of the costs of this blog by clicking on an advert, or 10. Believe me when I say the pennies I get from your clicks don’t quite cover the storage costs for all the images I use. So, if you’re reading, this you should be clicking that. It’s only fair.

Meanwhile, as I was prepping this blog post I took a glance at the latest Not Now Silly statistics. The Blogger platform doesn’t give me a whole lot of info about my readers, which is why I go over the little I do get like a Vodou bokor divining over freshly-killed chicken entrails. One stat that I find eminently fascinating is what search terms caused visitors to take the off ramp to my rest stop on the information highway. I check it regularly looking for surprises. Here’s today’s chart of search terms:

Because this screen grab was taken early in the day, that’s the only search term that brought a reader to my doorstep so far. The search terms are always truncated to around 40 characters, so there are times I’m forced to infer what these people were looking for. While I’ve written about Bob Marley, I doubt this inquisitive person was looking for anything that I could supply. The same can be said for Researcher #6 on the weekly list [below] who got here twice — or there are two guys (gals?) out there searching for exactly the same stuff:

While I believe in giving my readers what they want, I simply can’t fulfill every request

Googalizer results for “free video sex gay
negro black blog.” Who knew there were
that many people looking for Black gay porn?

I’m baffled that that string of words would bring someone here, as opposed to other web sites, far more on topic, on much busier thoroughfares on the information highway. These people must be really drilling down deep into the search results because when I plugged “free video sex gay negro black blog” into the Googalizer, Not Now Silly didn’t pop up until Page 9. You’d think they would have been satiated at the end of page one, doncha? And, just imagine their disappointment when they arrive here. [It occurs to me that using the search term in this paragraph is sure to bring more puzzled visitors, which are my favourite kind. And, I’ve probably just ensured that Not Now Silly ranks higher than Page 9 from here on in on THAT search term.] 

People who are searching Not Now Silly for something very specific are represented in the chart’s #1 position above. The truncated string ‘“coconut grove playhouse” (site:blogspo”‘ indicates that someone was searching this particular site for a very specific specific term, 5 different times. I sure hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer.

Drilling down into the monthly results brings a few surprises:

The monthly stats is where [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff appears. That means someone has found there way here using that search term in the last month, but not within the last week. I hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer. That used to be a much more frequent search term, but I guess Sarnoff’s office got tired of checking. TO BE FAIR: I’ve not really written much about him lately. I wonder whether this mention will warrant a visit.

Meanwhile, the same Coconut Grove Playhouse search from the weekly chart is also on the monthly, which means it’s more than a week old, but less than a month. At the #1 position on that chart is my post on Josephine Baker, of which I am far more proud than all those times I poked the [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff with a stick.

However, the chart I always find the most interesting is the All Time results, tabulated since I launched Not Now Silly on April 19, 2012:

What I find most amazing about this last chart is that 258 people arrived at Not Now Silly by searching for one variation or another of Three Stooges. Who knew they were so popular? What I like about this list is that it’s fairly eclectic list of topics because Not Now Silly is a fairly eclectic blog.

Just a few more agenda items before I sign off on this exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer:

I totally underestimated how long it would take to kick Chapter Two of my book, Farce Au Pain,
into shape for publication. I am narrowing in on it and really hope to
publish it for you on March 1st. You may wish to reacquaint yourself by
heading on over to the front door of Farce Au Pain. If you haven’t read it yet, boy are you in for a treat.

There’s
been a slight bit of news on Trolleygate, which I hope to write about
within the next week. I’ve been reading some legal documents and I need
to interview a few people to make sure I’ve interpreted them correctly. I
also want to see if I can get official comment from: 1). The City of
Miami; 2). The City of Coral Gables; 3). Miami-Dade County; 4). Astor
Development; 5). Anyone else who will take my calls. This could be a
busy week on the phone.

I continue to research the E.W.F. Stirrup House. While I have discovered some interesting information, I’m still closing in on the real history I’ve been seeking. In the meantime, in an effort to get more people interested in saving the E.W.F. Stirrup House from Demolition by Neglect, I’ve fired up a facebookery called, appropriately enough, Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House. If you’re a facebooker, please join the group. It’s jam-packed with info about the Stirrup House, Coconut Grove, and other instances of Demolition by Neglect.

I read all your correspondence.

A big hat tip to JN & DO for your suggestions concerning Headlines Du Jour. You’ll note I incorporated both your ideas, but just not both at the same time, if that makes sense. Oh, and AG: Your idea would have taken the focus away from the Headlines Du Jour, so . . . Never mind. However, there may be another way to use that idea at Not Now Silly, so stay tuned.

I had hoped that this month I would be announcing my contributions to a local franchise of a respected country-wide web operation. However, I’m awaiting a response to my first contribution ordered up by the editor.

Back in the day, when I used to write regularly for magazines, the final draft was sent to my editor by First Class Mail. If I didn’t hear back for several weeks, it was understandable. However, in this cyber-universe in which we now live, I can shoot a 1,000,000 word article to the other side of the world faster than I can type that old saw about the swift brown fox. It’s just possible I’m being impatient. Either that or I’m just nostalgic for the old days when editors were collaborators in shaping the final product. I need to curb my enthusiasm, in case things don’t work out.

I have learned that they squeal the loudest when you make fun
of Loofah Lad, but The Falafel King would know all about that.

Additionally, lastly — and most gratefully — things have been relatively quiet on the cyber-bully front lately. The Flying Monkey Squad has not been as obsessively stalkerish this past month as usual. However, that doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about me totally. They’ve only mentioned me enough to remind me to schedule some more timed tweets about them, not enough to warrant writing another full post about them. I’ll let all my previous posts about those psychotic miscreants stand for the time being. For the day to day hilarity, you could check The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society over at facebook.

A clue for the clueless: If you ever did forget about me, I promise to stop writing about you. I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. And, I know whose reputation is being hurt by this continued feud and it’s not mine. Your move, Chicolinis.

Dear readers: If you’ve read this far without clicking on an advert by now, you’re a poopyhead.

You Don’t Need A Groundhog To Know Which Way The Wind Is Blowing

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I forgot again. Every year I swear I will
write a Groundhog Day essay about my experiences working as a News
Writer in the CityPulse news room in Toronto on this day. However, the day always
seems to creep up on me. Maybe because I’d prefer to forget.

In the CityPulse [sic] News Room,
on BreakfastTelevision [sic], I was put on GroundhogWatch [sic] every year
because — after doing it just once — I already had experience writing
about rodent weather prognosticators. 

I think I wrote about Groundhog Day a total of 8
years in a row and it always seemed a lot like the movie.

Canada has its own Groundhog, of course. Wiarton Willie
is the buck-toothed mammal who Canadians turn to when they want to know
when Spring will end. This always complicated the story for me because
Wiarton Willie and Punxsutawney Phil made their predictions at THE EXACT
SAME TIME!!! This necessitated holding open two telephone lines, one to
Wiarton, Ontario, and the other to Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania,
waiting for word from the animal kingdom on whether there they saw their
shadows. Because Citytv had no budget to send people to Gobbler’s Knob
and Wiarton, I had to find — and then dragoon — news people in the
field at each scene who could relay the word to me so I could get it
before it hit the wires.

When I wrote all those Groundhog Day News Stories I tried
to include the words “Gobbler’s Knob” as often as possible

Because when you are covering
groundhogs YOU NEED TO BEAT THE COMPETITION!!! You not only NEED TO GET
IT RIGHT, YOU NEED TO GET IT FIRST!!!

Then there was that one
year when Wiarton Willie and Punxsutawney Phil were at (pun intended)
polar opposites in their predictions. It threw the entire newsroom into a
tizzy, but I’ll save that story for next year.

Since I got out of the Groundhog Game™, some new weather groundhogs have arrived on the scene. Shubenacadie Sam hunts for his shadow at the Shubenacadie Wildlife Park in the town of Shubenacadie, Nova Scotia.

However, all those Male Marmota Monax™ are going to have to move over for the new girl on the block. Dundas Donna is from Toronto and is taking the Weather World™ by storm. See what I did there?

Looking Back ► Unpacking The Writer At The New Year

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From time to time I peel back the curtains — AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!! — and reveal what goes on behind the scenes here at Not Now Silly. The first day of the new year seems an appropriate time to sum up the previous one, doncha think?

Since starting this blog I have published 420 posts, 207 of them in 2013. When I started this blog I swore I’d post something every day. Little did I know how hard that would be. This past year I took a few weeks off here and there to recharge my batteries, research some bigger articles, and go on a road trip for research.

A year ago I was still doing regular Fox “News” snark with my 3 weekly series, Fox “News” Spin Cycle, Judge Not, and Chow Mein and Bolling. However, I got bored of those. Not to mention that compiling and formatting them was very time consuming. Which is the biggest reason I dropped ’em. I found meatier things to research and write about.

Such as Trolleygate. My first post on that topic came on January 27, 2013, with An Introduction to Trolleygate. I first learned of this story through a secret source, my Coconut Grove Deep Throat, who has tipped me to several stories now. However, I would never have won their trust had it not been for all my previous writing on Coconut Grove, and more specifically West Grove. When I learned of Trolleygate I called it racism, straight up:


As much as Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by Miami City Hall — which ironically is in Coconut Grove — Black Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by everybody. […]

Meanwhile, Black Coconut Grove gets stuck with all the negatives of a diesel bus garage from a neighbouring city. Furthermore, while it gets the increased traffic and pollution, the residents will not even get what is normally a benefit of a bus garage: a bus stop. Having a bus stop might allow Black Grove to get on the bus and ride to Merrick Park, or Miracle Mile, or any of those other swank places, including any multimillion dollar project by developers named Astor. It reminds me of how Robert Moses, who built the Long Island Expressway, purposely built all the underpasses too low to allow for buses. That’s so the ‘great unwashed’ couldn’t go to his beaches at Fire Island and Jones Beach.

Skip ahead to November: None other than the U.S. Department of Transportation confirmed what I had been saying all along. According to the US DOT, the lack of public notice and input contravenes the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It has ordered Coral Gables, the city of Miami and Miami-Dade County to come up with a plan for retroactive consultation with the affected communities. I don’t know how that’s going to work, but those three entities are going to submit a plan.

Meanwhile, just to wrap Trolleygate up in a nice bow: Coral Gables is currently suing Astor Development to get out of the deal it struck that resulted in Trolleygate in the first place. The residents of West Grove, who lost their first round in court, are planning to appeal. With the US DOT now involved it’s become one of the most confusing series of intertwined lawsuits that you can imagine.

Miami taxpayers owe it all to [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Mark D. Sarnoff. Sarnoff seems to have skated away from all responsibility [so far] for sticking the city, county, and Coral Gables with this White Elephant that will never be a “government operated vehicle maintenance facility.” There’s still the Smoking Gun email that was discovered and people continue to investigate who was responsible for telling Astor Development to remove the word maintenance from its 2nd application to build this garage. Speculation says it leads directly to Sarnoff.

Bring on the depositions!!!

Another brag: As 2014 closed, Not Now Silly had its best month ever. The blog had 13,719 clicks in December, which is an average of 442.5 a day. That beats my previous record of 12,067 from August, 2013. I don’t know where all those people come from, but I wish they’d leave some comments. As you can see on the graph above, the monthly numbers go up and down, but I’m happy with the steady progression of onwards and upwards.

This is also the year I broke the lid off a Watergate story hidden in plain sight all these years. It began with my post Aunty Em Ericann’s Bun Fight With James Rosen of Fox “News” and continued with a review of Rosen’s book in Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen, Or Did Rosen Dupe ‘Merka? To be BOTH “fair and balanced,” I also told the other side of the story with James Rosen Responds To Me, Sort Of and with the follow-up Serial Liar James Rosen Responds To Me Again. Long story short: I have rejected his explanations until he produces some evidence. My theory is on the table. He has yet to disprove it.

Another media bun fight I kept alive was versus the Coconut Grove Grapevine. I’m finally willing to admit that some of my feelings is sheer jealousy. Tom Falco gets advertising dollars for producing his reviews, event listings, and promotional bumph. While I have some Google averts here — AND CLICKING ON THEM WILL BE A GOOD THING! GO AHEAD — they produce pennies per post and my storage fees for the pics are higher than that. However, the other part of my frustration with the Grapevine is that it has a very large readership. Falco could be writing and/or researching and/or publishing news of importance to the people of Coconut Grove instead.

Mark Koldys during happier times

Sadly, I’m still fighting The Johnny Dollar Wars, a feud I never started and only kept alive by The Flying Monkey Squad.

Believe me, I would have ended it with Johnny Dollar Has Proven Himself To Be A Very Dangerous Person, posted 20 months ago. However, for reasons that only a psychiatrist and powerful psychotropic drugs would be able to determine, Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham (@JohnnyDollar01 and @Grayhammy on Twitter) have continued to cyber-bully me long after it made any real sense.

Dr Keith Ablow, whose motto is NORMAL OR NUTS, would have a field day with these wackos because they are still carry on this crazy
cyber conflict more than 3 years after they began it.

They latched onto me merely because I was a writer at NewsHounds — the motto of which is WE WATCH FOX SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO — and I refused to slink away like all the others they’ve cyber-bullied over the years.

Johnny Dollar’s site has a motto, too: CABLE NEWS TRUTH. I’m strill trying to get someone to explain what part of my alternative lifestyle came under that bullshit rubric.

I have a motto as well: READ THE TRUTH ABOUT JOHNNY DOLLAR. My last three J$ posts are, I believe, the ones that best sum up these crazy MoFos. If you’re going to read them, read them in this order: The Smoking Gun ► UPDATED! followed by Does Fox “News” Support Johnny Dollar? with Anatomy of a Cyber-Feud bringing up the rear.

To make a long story somewhat shorter: Nearly every day Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham spend hours on Twitter smearing me with lies and half-truths or having cute little circle jerks all about me.  The time they devote to it is legendary. Meanwhile, once a month I dash off a post about their mendacity that makes me laugh and, hopefully, entertains my readers. It seems to be working.

A moment in time: The All Time Top Ten with J$ at #8
with a bullet, and another J$ post bubbling under at 307 hits.

I’m building my reputation off Johnny Dollar’s back, one click at a
time, and it feels great. The first Mark Koldys post has recently
entered my All Time Top Ten and is moving up fast. [Check the current
All Time Top Tell in the column on the right.] The next highest is
bubbling under at 307 clicks. I’m content to continue writing about
Johnny Dollar, especially if it keeps getting those kinds of numbers.
The more people who read about Johnny Dollar the better, as far as I am
concerned.

You might have thought that some logic would have penetrated. You’d think they would have figured out by now whose brand is being tarnished by this silly Cyber War they started. Not Now Silly, as a brand new Rest Stop on the Information Highway™, had nowhere to go but up. J$’s reputation had nowhere to go but down. You really would think they’d stop already.

Last but not least: When I launched the serialization of my book Farce au Pain, I never anticipated how much work it would be to format the chapters in a way that pleased the eye and my exacting standards, especially within the limitations of the Blogger platform.

I thought I’d manage to post a chapter every month, but now it’s looking like every 45-60 days for me to get it all right. Here’s the way I figure it, to look at the glass as half full: If you are willing to wait that long for the next exciting episode after the cliffhanger, then I’m doing my job as a writer. If not, then I’m not sure it would have mattered had I posed the whole thing at once. But, we’ll never know, will we?

So . . . as we end this exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer, we have a brand new year to look forward to. Here’s to all the political muckraking, fights, and feuds to come in 2014!!!

Unpacking The Writer ► Continued

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Aunty Em!!! Aunty Em!!!

If you are a new reader, welcome to my irregular blog series in which I pull back the curtain like The Wizard of Oz — AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!! — and reveal some of the inner-workings of the Not Now Silly blog. If you are not new, then you already know this is just an excuse to beg my readers to click on some of the adverts on this blog. Those people are already happily clicking away. It’s because they enjoy my writing and know the return I get from clicks doesn’t even cover the maintenance fees I pay each month to keep Not Now Silly going, but it sure helps. So, click ’til it hurts. Then click one more time.

There’s a lot of Not Now Silly news to report this go-round, so let’s get right to it.

First off, there’s my new continuing series Headlines Du Jour, launched late last month. I created the series for 3 reasons: 

A Headline Du Jour from the Wayback Machine

1). Often the links I post on social media (the facebookery or Twitter) today, I see scattered all over the innertubes tomorrow and the next day. It so often seems like I ferret out these stories long before the rest of the twiterati. Headlines Du Jour is where my faithful readers can find the news before it’s news to them;

2). The other reason I launched Headlines Du Jour is because I actually dreamed about it several nights in a row, right down to the name. Since I never had a Not Now Silly dream before — or since, for that matter — I decided to listen to my subconscious for a change of pace;

3). Every time I type “Today’s Headlines Du Jour,” I laugh at the redundancy. 

Unfortunately, when I dreamed about Headlines Du Jour I didn’t dream the format, or how it should look. Consequently, I’m still tinkering with Headlines Du Jour and trying to find the right balance between serious and funny, smart and snarky, hard news and news you can use. If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in over the transom.

Since my last Unpacking The Writer post, I’ve also launched another new irregular feature here at the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Ablow Job is where I put Dr. Keith Ablow, the Fox “News” Channel’s pop psychiatrist, on the couch. My long-time readers might remember when I used to delve into Glenn Beck’s Freudian impulses under my nom de blog of Aunty Em at NewsHounds. This will be similar, ‘cept this time it’s Glenn Beck’s writing partner, Dr. Keith Ablow. Initial reaction has been strong, but you can help spread the word by sharing the hilarity with your friends and family.

UPDATE ON TROLLEYGATE: I’ve been writing about Trolleygate since the end of January — long before any of the local mainstream media covered it. Right from the start I called it a classic case of institutional racism. Early this month my reporting was vindicated by no less than the United States Department of Transportation, which declared Trolleygate in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, specifically Title VI. Not Now Silly also broke the story of The Smoking Gun Email days before any other newspaper. However, only here will you learn about its significance and why it points to corruption within the City of Miami. So, yeah, I’m blowing my own horn: Racism was at the core of Trolleygate and [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff may have had a backroom deal with the developers to get it approved. Anonymous tipsters continue to send me avenues of inquiry to follow. Eventually one of these Sarnoff rumours will pan out, or lead to pay dirt — both expressions coming from the Gold Rush.

I’ve saved the best news for last!!!

The cover of Farce au Pain, by Keg — © 2013, Headly Westerfield

I know you have every reason to doubt me, because I’ve made this promise before, but I am mere days away from the serialization of Farce au Pain. I’ve been working on it for quite a while and, I am happy to report, the launch is now imminent.

While most of the delay has been totally avoidable (I work so much more diligently when I have hard deadlines), there has been one unavoidable road block. My tattooed, coffee-stained lawyer (with the grudge) has been pouring over every word of Farce au Pain, the exact same way Grayhammy pours over every word I post. Then we spent a lot of time exchanging emails to get the wording of certain passages exact. I argued some points and won. He argued some points and won. On some, we just compromised.

To be perfectly honest, I’d love to defend Farce au Pain in a court of law. While it would prove to be a laugh riot, I have much better things to do with my time. That’s why I am using weasel-words, just like I’ve accused Johnny Dollar of using. Consequently, some of my sentences are not quite as declarative as they appear on first read. I learned that from the best. “I’m just asking questions.”

That’s why I’m thrilled to announce that things are back on track for the serialization of Farce au Pain, my longest and lengthiest on-going project. A friend recently asked why I would serialize my book. Because I like comparing myself to Charles Dickens whenever I get the chance.

Oh, and if you’ve made it down this far and haven’t clicked on an advert, you’re stealing. Either click, or don’t come back. 

Racist Memes and Blogging ► Unpacking the Writer

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It’s been a rollicking month for Not Now Silly. I’ve hit new heights in readership and received my first real criticism, which we’ll examine in detail. Yes, folks, it’s time to take another look under the hood to see how the engine is ticking over. 

First things first: The month of August was a good one for this blog. For the first time readership broke 12,000 for a calendar month. While I hope not, I think it will be a while before I break 12k again. Speaking of broken records: On September 24, 2013 I hit a brand new daily record: 703 hits. I’ll take it. That’s now my daily target. 


Other ratings: While I wasn’t paying attention my post on The Detroit Riots ► Unpacking My Detroit ► Part Five overtook Brian Jones ► A Musical Appreciation on the all-time leader board. This gratifies me for two reasons. 1). I am quite proud of my article on Detroit’s several riots, having taken more than a month to write it. I feel it’s important history that so few people actually know; 2). And, it’s a much better blog post than the Brian Jones squib. That one rose to the top of the leader board almost immediately and stayed there for more than a year. I was somewhat chagrined because the Brian Jones post was something I dashed off in less than an hour.

While I’m thinking about it, I’d also like to take the opportunity to thank Curbed Miami and Al Crespo of the Crespogram Report. Both sites recently linked to stories on Not Now Silly. My stats reflect a spike in hits directly from those links. I’m gratified Curbed Miami and The Crespogram Report found enough to like here to recommended Not Now Silly to their readers.

Now about that criticism: Some criticism is easily ignored. However, it’s not easily ignored when it comes from people whom I respect. That’s what happened with my most recent post on Coconut Grove. A Century of Coconut Grove Racism ► Soilgate Is Trolleygate Writ Large is an essay on a theme similar to several I’ve posted before. It compares the Racist attitude of almost 100 years ago with the Racist attitudes of today in Coconut Grove. In the late ’20s Miami allowed a polluting incinerator to be built in a Black neighbourhood. Just this year Miami allowed a polluting diesel bus garage in the same Black neighbourhood. Same as it ever was.

When I am being polite I call this attitude Modern Day Colonialism and Trolleygate, as I did in a post back in February. However, when I’m not being polite I call it what it really is: RACISM, pure and simple. West Grove has suffered under a century of it, which I keep discovering over and over again the deeper I research Coconut Grove. The thrust of my most recent post is that Racism is with us today and Trolleygate is merely the physical manifestation of that ugliness.

These blog posts go through several drafts before I press the PUBLISH button; some more than others. One of my earliest mentors in the writing game told me, “There is no good writing, only good rewriting.” I’ve made that my #1 motto and there have been sentences I’ve kicked at dozens of times before I’m finally satisfied.

During the earliest drafts of A Century of Coconut Grove Racism ► Soilgate Is Trolleygate Writ Large I used images like the one to the right to illustrate my post. However, I the longer I edited the post the more I came to resent the pictures I was using. My words said Racism exists TODAY. However, all the pics were of Racism in the oldie moldy past: Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Racist signs from the ’40 and ’50s. The words and the pictures created a tension that I didn’t like. They contradicted each other.

I have several dozen pictures on my computer hard drive that illustrate racism over the centuries. Several of them have been collected since President Obama took office. It occurred to me that those recent memes were the ones that best illustrated the point I was making. I removed all the historical images and substituted contemporary pictures instead. When I finished editing the post — when I was finally satisfied with what I had — I knew the pictures would rankle some people. I actually consulted a small group of folk whose opinion I trust. I call these people my de facto editors, because they’re all I’ve got as a Lone Wolf Citizen Journalist to bounce ideas against. None seemed to object and one said, “Go for it.”

The push back against A Century of Coconut Grove Racism ► Soilgate Is Trolleygate Writ Large began almost immediately. Here’s the predominant sentiment, sent to me by email:

I think it distracts from the serious discriminatory ridership routes and Env[ironmental] justice issues. I would suggest more serious photos of Rosa Parks, Jim Crow signs on buses, etc…. It is important to depict civil rights leaders, including our President, in a complimentary light to inspire youth to greatness, not ridicule upon achievement. The images posted distract from our serious issues.

Believe me, I’m sympathetic to that point of view. Racism is ugly. Racism is not polite. Having said that, I do my readers a disservice if I turn away from the ugliness of Racism. I do my readers a disservice if I use metaphors and euphemisms to describe Racism. Racism needs to be treated as you do with a dog who has just taken a crap on the rug: You rub its nose in it and use stern words. NO! BAD DOG!

I’m not going to sugarcoat Racism. That plays into the hands of Racists, who hope you will be far too polite to call them out on their Racism. I also disagree that the images I used were not serious. They were as serious as a cancer cluster. If a picture is worth a thousand words, these few pictures (which, by the way, are not the most incendiary I have) comprise an entire book. I won’t apologize for using contemporary pictures of Racism to illustrate modern day racism. Therein lies madness.

Tune in next month for another exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer, a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, the home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic.

Unpacking The Writer ► The Bearded Edition

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Every month, or so, I do another one of these blog posts about the inner-workings of being a writer, but all my regular readers know the unvarnished truth: It’s merely a clever way to induce you to click on one of the adverts on this page. I’ll wait…

Done? Good, because there’s so much to talk about this month.

CIRCLE THE DATE: First and foremost, there are only about 70 more shopping days before National Beard Month is once again upon us. As The Flying Monkey Squad turns its lonely eyes upon National Beard Month, the question on everyone’s lips is, of course:

How will Fox “News” Chief Washington Correspondent James Rosen be celebrating National Beard Month?


FACEBOOKERY: One of the (many) reasons I joined in on the facebookery in the first place (when I was still writing under the performance artist nom de plume of Aunty Em Ericann) was to see whether writing as a different character would free up my writing style. After a decade in the Citytv newsroom, I felt my writing had gotten staid and pedestrian. Assuming the identity of a character was incredibly liberating. Now that I am back to writing as Headly Westerfield again, I feel a
freedom with words I never had before, which is now reflected in every word I write. Even this one.

COMING SOON: Which is why I can announce that Not Now Silly will be serializing excerpts of my book in the next couple of weeks. Some of my most faithful readers have been curious about all the documents I have been collecting. That’s so I can more accurately describe the protagonists/antagonists of the book and, more importantly, the times in which they lived. There’s been recent, rapid progress and I’m excited to be able to unleash it on the world. You’ll be surprised at where the research took me because I was surprised. So, please stay tuned for that. I’ll be posting it just as soon as I am able to format the parts of the book that are ready for publication. The graphics have been ordered and I’m awaiting delivery of that, too.

AN AUGUST MONTH: The month of August has been exciting at Not Now Silly for another reason as well. I got two of my highest hit counts ever on days this month — one almost twice my previous all-time high. That makes this month on track to set a new record as well. It didn’t hurt that Reddit picked up one of my Trolleygate stories, as did Curbed Miami. However, to my eternal delight, Curbed also linked to one of my stories about the historic, 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House, currently undergoing Demolition by Neglect. Saving this house and restoring Mr. Stirrup’s legacy has become an obsession. People are starting to take notice of the E.W.F. Stirrup House and that can only be a good thing. I have made an exciting new connection recently, which I also hope to report upon soon.

Meanwhile my Top Ten Posts for the same period looks like this:

FIRST PAST THE POST: These are all essays I’m extremely proud of. I’m pleased they are getting this kind of devoted readership on Not Now Silly and being shared on the innertubes. If you like what you’ve read, feel free to use the SHARE buttons at the bottom of every post. I always appreciate the added readership.

CH-CH-CHANGES: I will be making a slight change to Not Now Silly over the next couple of days, one that (hopefully) you might not even notice. One complaint I’ve received (more than once) is that the colour scheme makes the links hard to find. I’ll be tinkering with colours to make links more obvious. However, that’s the only negative feedback I received from the format change in April, which pleases me. I like the current minimalist look, so I’m not going to tinker with it too much.

JUST DO IT: If you’ve gotten this far without clicking on an advert, shame on you. That’s the only money I get for all these words that you obviously enjoyed so much that you’ve made it this far down the page. Clicking on an advert costs you nothing, but it puts a few cents in my pocket . . . and I do mean few.

So, click on an advert. Do it for the children. Do it before you’re too busy celebrating National Beard Month.

Final Note From The Road

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After a good night’s sleep following my whirlwind trip, here are some final observations from the road — all 2,991 miles of it. Because, if there’s one thing one can do during 46 hours of driving, that’s think:

• I did something on The Sunrise To Canton Road Trip For Research that I’ve always wanted to do, but the innertubes made it so easy. I couch surfed from home to Canton, visiting cyber-friends along the way. These are people I’ve known for years in the space of cyber, but whom I had never met;

• All the people I know who lent me a couch, bed, or just stoked me up with coffee for my next leg of the road, were all more wonderful than I had imagined from just the communication on the innertubes;

• Every family has their own shit to deal with. While it was not the topic of discussion with any of my couch-suppliers, every one of them alluded to trouble in their family that led to a current sitch-eee-ay-shun of family psycho-drama;

• TO BE FAIR: I participated in my own family drama when I saw some of my relatives this weekend between trips to Canton, Michigan;

• One gets no sense of topography from maps, which are as flat as South Florida. It was nice to be reminded that there are places not at sea level which won’t flood during the upcoming Great Glacier Melt™;

A panoramic example of topography from Morgantown, West Virginia. Note the cemetery in the far background.

 • Professional truckers still understand the courtesies of the road. I’d signal my brights at them to let them know it was safe to merge. They never failed to signal back as a “thank you;”

• Civilian drivers tend to be rude fucks who only seem to be concerned with getting there first;

• No matter where I drive I always do the speed limit, unless conditions require a slower, safer speed. I am always the slowest car on the road. In fact, there are times I feel like an impediment to the flow of traffic by hewing to the speed limit;

• The invention of car turn signals was a total waste of time;

• I had no idea Canton was so large. Because it’s an unincorporated township, as opposed to town or city, I thought it would be so much smaller. I guess at one time it was, but now it’s pretty much suburban sprawl from one end to another. Traversing Canton always took longer than I expected it would;

• No one has led a 100% exemplary life;

• Be good to your neighbours because you never know when a journalist will come sniffing around for information;

• A solution to a problem I was having in my novel jumped out at me from out of nowhere and I almost hit it with the car. I wasn’t even thinking of the book when it happened;

• One meets a lot of nice people along the road, provided one takes the time to talk to them;

• I was once able to get a much better sleep on the back seat of a car;

• I kept seeing signs that said “Trucks over 3 axles use right two lanes.” You mean straddling the line? Wouldn’t it be simpler to say “Trucks over 3 axles prohibited in left lane?”

• I had the misfortune to hit morning rush hour traffic in Jax while on the southbound I-95;

• The last 100 miles I could see the smoke of several brush fires rising into the air on both the east and west side of I-95. Yet I turned on the news and searched online and could find no reference to it;

• With approximately 10,000 tunes on my music machine playing on random shuffle, here were the Top Five Played Artists [in descending order]: The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Beatles Bootlegs [a separate category to any die-hard Beatles fan], Willie Nelson, Alberta Hunter. Oddly enough the first 4 have multiple albums on the music machine. Alberta Hunter only has 1 album on there, plus a few selected tunes from her early days singing with Eubie Blake. More proof, if any is needed, that random shuffle is quite random;

• I never thought I’d say this, but that was entirely too much Wliie Nelson. I’ll have to winnow it down a bit;

As I tell people: I love to drive, provided I have tunes. This may have been a long drive, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I would also like to thank the friends I met along the road. You were all so terrific and any time you’re in the neighbourhood, don’t hesitate to call.

Further Reading on Not Now Silly

Notes From The Road
More Notes From The Road
And Still More Notes From The Road