Howdy Headliners! It’s April Fool’s Day. No joke. It’s also the birthday of Reggae star Jimmy Cliff. No joke. He loves the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:
- 1789 – In New York City, the United States House of Representatives holds its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first House Speaker.
- 1826 – Samuel Morey patents the internal combustion engine.
- 1919 – The Staatliches Bauhaus school is founded by Walter Gropius in Weimar.
- 1924 – Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years in jail for his participation in the “Beer Hall Putsch“. However, he spends only nine months in jail, during which he writes Mein Kampf.
- 1933 – The recently elected Nazis under Julius Streicher organize a one-day boycott of all Jewish-owned businesses in Germany, ushering in a series of anti-Semitic acts.
- 1946 – Aleutian Island earthquake: A 8.6 magnitude earthquake near the Aleutian Islands creates a tsunami that strikes the Hawaiian Islands killing 159, mostly in Hilo.
- 1949 – The Government of Canada repeals Japanese Canadian internment after seven years.
- 1970 – President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring the Surgeon General‘s warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertisements on television and radio in the United States, starting on January 1, 1971.
- 1976 – Apple Inc. is formed by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne.
- 1979 – Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah.
- 1997 – Comet Hale-Bopp is seen passing over perihelion.
- 2001 – Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first country to allow it.
Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:
GOOD NEWS FROM THE WAR FRONT:
Zero U.S. Troops Died In Combat In March, The First Time In More Than A Decade
IN LGBT NEWS:
Atlanta archbishop apologizes
over $2.2M mansion
Christians Putting Bibles in
Schools Flip Out After Atheists
Hand Out Humanist Literature!
Pastor Who Prays for President
Obama to Die Preaches That
Women Should Shut Up in Church
SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:
How PBS whitewashed the abolitionist movement
THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSOLETE:
Watch: ‘Obama May Well Be
A Homosexual’ Says GOP
Candidate For Governor
trying to draft Jeb Bush
Colorado GOP candidate
calls Obama birth certificate a
‘myth’ in uncovered video
Rick Santorum: Uninsured people are deadbeats
and ‘won’t make a payment’ for Obamacare
Rick Santorum’s Wholesome Film Studio Has a Smutty Anime Secret
ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:
Ed McNeil: How Can a Bankrupt Detroit
Give Away Millions to Illitch Organization?
PLAYING CHECKERS, NOT CHESS:
Firm that cleared Christie in
Bridgegate? Same one Nixon
mentioned in famous Checkers speech
Ralph Thrower, IRS Chief Who
Resisted Nixon, Dies at 100
From the vast Not Now Silly archives:
Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen,
Or Did Rosen Dupe ‘Merka?
GET A JOB:
Dallas Police: Man Sends Dick Pic With
Job Application, Still Doesn’t Have a Job
TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:
Off-Duty Deputy Shoots Man After Catching Couple Having Sex in Community Pool
WHEN SAGGY PANTS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL WEAR SAGGY PANTS:
Pull up your pants or pay a fine! Louisiana parish introduces $50 saggy pants fine for first-time offenders and $100 for repeat offenders
Anti-Rob Ford campaign
posters pop up in Toronto
CHRIS CHRISTIE CORNER:
Lawrence O’Donnell Gets
Joe Scarborough To Admit
That Christie Is Absolutely Irredeemable
|Glenn Beck: Not to be confused with a methane-spewing microbe.
GLENN BECK CORNER:
Boston Marathon Bombing Survivor Sues Glenn Beck
From the vast Not Now Silly archives:
The Day I Shook
Hands With Glenn Beck
NATURE IS COMPLICATED:
VIDEO DU JOUR:
Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.