Tag Archives: Gino Falsetto

Kicking 2015 to the Curb ► The Ultimate Throwback Thursday

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As we all look forward to a New Year, some highlights before all the sand runs out of this one:

THE JOHNNY DOLLAR WARS

Maybe I was just asking for trouble, but I began 2015 by . . .

While I thought these crazy cyber-bullies were finally vanquished, just recently “Angie Simmoril” — who hides behind a wall of complete anonymity — popped up again to promise big doings on the Aurelius Project for the beginning of 2016. While I had almost forgotten The Flying Monkey Squad existed, this is simply more proof that an obsessed crazy person never really goes away — unless they die, which is really what I thought had happened with Grayhammy.

Watch this space.

COCONUT GROVE PLAYHOUSE & PARKING LOTS

I wrote so many stories about Coconut Grove this year, but most of them were about the Coconut Grove Playhouse and its surrounding parking lots. That meant I spent a lot of time in parking lots this year, and the year before, while I did research in the field, as it were:

When I agreed to drive a car at this year’s King Mango Strut, little
did I know it would be the one with Ken Russell doing yo-yo tricks

MIAMI DISTRICT 2 POLITICS

My campaign to SAVE THE E.W.F. STIRRUP HOUSE not only led to all those stories on the Coconut Grove Playhouse — which is catercorner to it — but also got me deeper then ever into District 2 politics. That led to a series of stories about [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, which naturally led to that time When Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff Lied To My Face.

When the term-limited Sarnoff put up his wife Teresa to run in his place for District 2 Commissioner, I started following the election closely. My first foray in covering the candidates didn’t go so well. Jammed For Time tells the story of getting thrown out of the Grace Solaris campaign kickoff. That didn’t auger well for the rest of the Commissioner race. As far as I knew the rest of the field would treat me similarly. Luckily, none of them did. All were gracious about answering questions and posing for pictures. That provided a number of stories, the best of which are:

Interview With District 2’s Ken Russell

During the race several of the candidates agreed to talk to me, allowed me to accompany them on door knocks, let me sit in on private meetings and phone calls, and gave me some very interesting inside skinny on the donation process. All of this was done on an OFF THE RECORD basis, to be embargoed until after the election. I’m still processing my notes and recordings to see what kind of story I can get out of it.
To be continued.

PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS

As much of a political junkie as I am, I’ve been mainlining what’s been going on in the presidential race. While I’ve not written specifically about Donald J. Trump, I have created a number of memes currently whizzing around the innertubes. Collect ’em all. Trade ’em with your friends.

However, I have covered the joke that is some of the rest of the current GOP field, and some previous races:

PASTORAL LETTERS

Late last year I reconnected with my childhood friend Kenneth John Wilson. Ken, who is an evangelical pastor in Ann Arbor, Michigan, has written a very important book on LGBT acceptance in the church. I started following his extraordinary story and began a series of Pastoral Letters to him. Occasionally he replies, but I am writing then more to understand my mind than his.

I’ve started another Pastoral Letter, but it will be a while before I get all my thoughts in order.

FALSETTO VOICE:

I began my research into Coconut Grove years ago at the E.W.F. Stirrup House. While there’s not been that much to write about on that issue over the last year — because almost nothing has changed — that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten all about Gino Falsetto, the rapacious developer who got his grimy hands on the historic structure:

I’m also prepping a new story on the E.W.F. Stirrup House.  It’s almost half written. Stay tuned. Watch this space. Coming to a browser near you.

This year I also bonded with Fox’s Campaign Carl Cameron

THE FOX “NEWS” CHANNEL

My fascination/revulsion with the Fox “News” Channel continues, which is how I picked up Johnny Dollar as an enemy in the first place. No matter. For the last year I’ve written a Friday Fox Follies for PoliticusUSA website, continued to run Fox Follies and Fallacies, over at the facebookery. However . . .

. . . sums up my attitude whenever I encounter a Fox “News” spouting parrot.

ROAD TRIPS:

This year I took 2 marathon road trips, both more than 3,000 miles from door to door. These are just some of the posts these road trips generated:

TWO NEW SERIES:

Before the road trips I stopped aggregating the Headlines Du Jour. It took several hours 3 days a week and it was a trap, without any achival value. When I got back from the road trips I began two brand new series. Launching Throwback Thursday with The Westerfield Journals was one and Monday Musical Appreciation the other. I’m quite proud of both of these series. In both these series I am highlight some of the lesser-known history-makers.

NAME DROPPING

One of the things I’ve been accused of over the years is name-dropping. I plead guilty and throw myself on the mercy of the internet. What’s the penalty? Izzit just a fine or jail time?

No matter. Exhibit A and B as evidence against me this year:

Those are just some of the highlights from the last year. No one knows what 2016 will hold for the Not Now Silly Newsroom, but I’ll be writing it from Toronto. More specifically, Kensington Market. It felt so good in September, I’m going to do it all over again. To that end, I’ve launched a Go Fund Me to help defray my moving expenses. It’s amazing how much stuff I’ve accumulated in the last decade. Help me get back to Toronto:

 

Bang The News Slowly ► Unpacking The Writer

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Here we go again, readers! Unpacking The Writer is a monthly pulling-back-of-the-curtain to reveal the inner-workings of a one-man news operation. Let’s get right to it.

The most exciting news of the last month is the campaign to put Harry Nilsson in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Every year when the RnRHoF nominees are announced I scream, “What about Harry?” Then when I see who is finally inducted, I just shake my head in despair. This year I decided to do something about it.

Just a few days before last month’s Unpacking The Writer, I fired up a facebookery called Harry Nilsson for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was only a few days later that I discovered there was a similar page started much earlier than mine. Had I known, I would have signed onto Harry Nilsson belongs in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, started by Todd Lawrence, instead. Todd and I connected soon afterwards in IM. I assured him that I didn’t consider my page competition to his and that we should cooperate for the greater good. It can’t hurt that there are two such pages because we travel in different circles.

It wasn’t long before Todd asked we could add Gabriel Szoke, moderator of the Harry Nilsson facebook fan page, to our IMs. Then the 3 of us started kicking around various ideas to put #HarryintheHall. None of our plans are ripe enough to be revealed, but I can assure you that they are grandiose.

There are 3 ways you can help, dear readers: 1). Stay tuned; 2). Join our facebook pages; 3). And, watch this. A Little Touch of Schmilsson in the Night is a sublime BBC production of the LP of the same name. It is one of the few times in his entire career that Harry Nilsson sang live, even though there was no audience and it’s certainly not Rock and Roll:


This is definitely not Rock and Roll

Meanwhile, the Not Now Silly Newsroom has been busy breaking actual news during the past month. 

Since our last exciting episode I’ve written [in chronological order] about Richard Nixon (once again); attended and reported on the campaign kick-off of District Two Candidate Javier Gonzalez; finally told my Sally Kellerman story, which I had been threatening to do for years; wrote about the Bicycle Shop (again), which resulted in a $1,000 fine against Aries Development; and, if that isn’t enough, wrote about a rip off of Miami taxpayers by the valet parking companies — connected to Aries Development through family — and alerted the Miami Parking Authority to this scam. [What’s more is that I’ve been constructing longer and longer sentences.] I’ve been busy little writer.

I make no bones about it: I’m always delighted when I can score points against Gino Falsetto, the rapacious owner/developer of Aries Development. Rather than go through all the reasons why, just read Happy Birthday Coconut Grove!!! Now Honour Your Past. Then join Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House on the facebookery and help me make this campaign go viral.

A PERSONAL MESSAGE TO GINO FALSETTO: When I began writing about the E.W.F. Stirrup House more than 5 years ago, I phoned and emailed several times to get your side of the story. You never gave me the decency of a response, even if it were to tell me it was none of my business and to get lost. However, that did not deter me from trying to save the 120-year old house and the amazing legacy of Ebenezer Woodbury Franklin Stirrup. However, I’d still love to hear your side of the story. Contact me. I promise to be as fair to you as you have been to Coconut Grove history.

This month’s Top Ten Posts

Tangent over, dear readers.

Those are the writings that appear above the surface. What’s below the surface? Well, to start with, there’s always the ongoing research on other stories still to be written. Then there are those stories only partially written. On those I’m either stalled because I’m looking for additional information or have hit the wall on that topic, hoping I’ll eventually return to it. Writer’s Block is a cruel mistress.

But, that’s only what’s just immediately beneath the surface. That’s what will, in all probability (but only if things go well), rise to the surface and eventually appear on these pages. Not everything does. There are currently 23 posts in draft form and I know that not all will make it to the front page of the Not Now Silly Newsroom. To compare: there are 747 posts here, not including this one.

Of course, there are deeper layers. F’rinstance, my continued exploration of Drum Circles. I am trying to solve — in an intellectual way — why I feel such an unworldly attraction to them. The fact of the matter is I’ve never been a joiner. Most of my adult life I’ve eschewed groups the same way Groucho said he wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have him as a member. However, since my first encounter with a drum circle (a story I tell in The 32nd Annual King Mango Strut), I try to join them whenever I get the chance. I’ll even drive an hour to go to a drum circle.

I play the claves, mostly, but occasionally will play the wood block and, even more occasionally, the cowbell. When I’m playing cowbell nobody shouts, “More cowbell!” because I’m terrible at the cowbell, which takes far more rhythm and wrist than I’ve got. When I play cowbell, I play real quietly, hoping I’ll eventually find the groove. I never seem to.

I was recently discussing my attraction to the claves with one of my drumming buddies. It actually started with mutual book recommendations. I suggested she read Dr. Oliver Sacks‘ Musicophilia; Tales of Music and the Brain. I’ve read Sacks books for years, loving his case histories. Reading Musicophilia explained part of my attraction to drum circles and my relationship to music. From the book blurb:

Our exquisite sensitivity to music can sometimes go wrong: Sacks explores how catchy tunes can subject us to hours of mental replay, and how a surprising number of people acquire nonstop musical hallucinations that assault them night and day. Yet far more frequently, music goes right: Sacks describes how music can animate people with Parkinson’s disease who cannot otherwise move, give words to stroke patients who cannot otherwise speak, and calm and organize people whose memories are ravaged by Alzheimer’s or amnesia.

Music is irresistible, haunting, and unforgettable, and in Musicophilia, Oliver Sacks tells us why.

Here’s a true confession: When I was growing up I was constantly told, “Stop fidgeting.”

However, I wasn’t fidgeting. I was keeping an internal rhythm with my feet or hands. I would be tapping my fingers and toes to the music I heard playing in my head all the time.

However, it took me a very long time to realize that not everybody hears music in their head all the time. I’m always hearing music in my head, but only when there is no music; especially if there is no music. Sometimes the machinery I hear on the streets is converted to song as it passes through my ears to other receptors in my brain. Leaf blowers cease droning to become a background pipe organ to a brand new song my grey matter invented on the spot.

When
there’s no music playing, I can have entire swing bands playing my own
arrangements in my own head. Or a Blues band rocking out to a tune
that’s being made up on the spot. I used to do this more often when I
was in my late teens. In fact I remember several hitchhiking trips
when I composed entire tunes in my head. I would write down the lyrics as soon
as I got the chance. I can still remember some of them, which have become far more elaborate in my head over the years.

When there’s actual music playing, my head, hands, and feet keep a counter-rhythm to it, or add trumpet parts, or other vocals. But, only in my head, translating those complexities into seemingly spasmodic jerking of my fingers and toes.

Maybe I should have been a composer/arranger, but I play no instruments and can’t read or write music. However, when I am at drum circles, that part of my psyche seems to get a workout. When I’m in a drum circle I play what I think of as the accents with my claves. Sometimes (in my head) it’s what Ella would sing when she was scatting. Other times I hear my little rat-tat-tat bursts as the parts for a brass section.

I know I have entered my personal groove at a drum circle when what I hear is melody and not strictly rhythm. While I’m not sure I described it so that it makes sense to my readers, it makes perfect sense to me, which is what counts.

If you’ve been following along at home, you’ll recognize Pops, to the left. After my mother died a decade ago, I came down to help Pops. It’s not that Pops really needed my help. He played golf 4-5 days a week. However, he’s of a generation that knows where the kitchen is, but never mastered the magic required to get a meal on the table, unless it came out of a microwave. That’s has always been my main role here.

Pops turned turned 89 on Valentine’s Day and, for the most part, he’s been healthy. But, he’s slowing down. There are fewer chores around the house I’ll let him do. However, it’s hard. I remember how sad he was when I told him that I was taking the laundry away from him. It was one of the household jobs he had to learn when my mother went into the hospital, and he was so proud of himself. He argued for a while, but finally gave in.

Two weeks ago, during a routine pacemaker check-up, it was discovered that it was not getting any signals to his heart. One of the wire leads became corroded some time since his last check-up 3 months ago.

That was the bad news. The good news was that his heart was beating well enough on its own that he didn’t require an immediate operation. We scheduled a pacemaker procedure for the following week, after adjusting some of his meds. This past Thursday he went in for the operation to replace his pacemaker.

Normally, this is an outpatient procedure; a quick in and out. However, because of Pops’ age, they thought it was a good idea that he be kept overnight. I spent about 15 hours at the hospital last week, split over 2 days. I brought Pops home on Friday and he’s been taking it easy ever since.

Now you’re all caught up until next month.

EXCLUSIVE: Are Valet Companies Stealing From Miami Taxpayers?

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The area surrounding the
Coconut Grove Playhouse
[Click map to enlarge]
LEGEND:


A). Grove Gardens Condominiums;
aka The Monstrosity;
B). Regions Bank;
C). The E.W.F. Stirrup House;
D). Zoned residential lots, used
for illegal parking;
E). Part of the 45 parking spaces
leased for Valet Parking;
F). Blue Star Drive In & remaining 45
spaces leased to Valet parking;
G). Playhouse Parking Lot
operated by the MPA;
H). Unlocked gate directing traffic
onto William and Thomas Streets
and location of arrow directing cars
to exit onto Charles Avenue;
I). Main entrance/exit for main
Playhouse parking lot;
J). The Bicycle Shop;
K). The Barnacle, now a State Park,
once belonged to Commodore Ralph
Monroe, a contemporary of E.W.F.
Stirrup;
L). Rich people in gated enclaves;
M). Far less well off people in West
Grove, which has remained
predominately Black and depressed
during the last 125 years;
N). Commodore Plaza, named after
Ralph Monroe, is lined with pricy
eateries and more expensive art
galleries, meant for people with
more disposable income than
those on the surrounding blocks.

A year-long investigation by the Not Now Silly Newsroom has uncovered a situation in which valet parking companies continue to rip off City of Miami taxpayers for an untold numbers of dollars.

Last year, when Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring untangled the Gordian knot of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, several pieces of that complex puzzle were the various parking lots surrounding the Playhouse. Paradise Parking was kicked off the main parking lot [G on map to the left] — after having squatted on it for several years — in exchange for an arrangement where it rents 45 parking spaces from the MPA, at $6 a day per, immediately behind the Playhouse in lots [E] and [F].

It never occurred to me when I went into journalism that I’d be sitting in parking lots noting the movements of cars and valets, but that’s part of what I’ve been doing for the last year. That surveillance led to several articles. After my last series of parking lot stories, a gate at the west end of the Coconut Grove Playhouse parking lot was ordered locked. It turned out the valets on Commodore Plaza had demanded it be left open on busy Friday and Saturday nights in order to make their job easier.

However — and this is crucial — the valet companies don’t run the parking lots, nor the city for that matter. They just think they do. That’s why they run roughshod over West Grove, caring little about the agreements they’ve already made. They are playing the city for chumps and stealing money from taxpayers.

[For more on these Coconut Grove parking problems, and so I don’t have to repeat myself, please read: The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part I • Part II • A Playhouse Trojan Horse Update.]

Which brings us to the evening of Saturday, May 2nd. There was a big event at the Cruz Building on Commodore Plaza [N], one street over from the Playhouse parking lot. (The Cruz Building, rumoured to have been built with cocaine money in Miami’s Go-Go 80s, is rented out for weddings or bar mitzvahs and the like.) Saturday’s event must have been bigger-than-average because the single block of Commodore Plaza was bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go traffic in both directions, with an officer directing traffic directly in front of the Cruz building. Many parking valets were taking cars from the swells and zipping off somewhere, as the security officer held up traffic for them.

That got my journalistic senses tingling. Where were the cars going?

The last time I heard of a big affair at the Cruz building, the valets were illegally parking cars on the 2 residential lots [D] on Charles Avenue, immediately across the street from the E.W.F. Stirrup House [C]. The neighbours called the Not Now Silly Newsroom, which led to this reporter asking 11 questions of [allegedly] corrupt Miami District 2 Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff. He refused to answer any of them and punted them to the Miami Parking Authority. After waiting 2 months, I finally got answers to those questions that fell within the MPA’s bailiwick; not all did, so there are several questions outstanding.

On May 2nd, after some surveillance at 6:30 PM, I discovered the valets were taking cars from the Cruz Building and parking them in the MPA lot, which is not a part of the 45 spaces rented from the MPA. Eventually, by 9PM, the MPA lot was filled with cars, many of which were parked by valets. Private citizens would pull into the parking lot, drive around the small circle and, finding no parking spaces, would leave. Every car that left without finding a parking space was money taken out of the Miami taxpayer’s pocket by the valet parking companies.

This is more egregious than it sounds for 2 reasons:

  • The citizens were behaving better than the valets, who stuck their Cruz Building cars anywhere they’d fit, whether there were lines on the ground, or not;
  • At 9PM, parking lot [F], which is rented from the MPA was 100% empty, while parking lot [E], also rented, had only 8 cars in it.

[As a side issue: The Regions Bank parking lot, [B] had 18 cars in it, more than I’ve ever counted before. I have communicated with Regions Bank only to learn it has sanctioned this valet parking arrangement. The bank cited — GET THIS!!! — how it’s a convenient arrangements for their own customers because it allows them to drive right up to the night deposit. However, Regions better hope their customers are driving skateboards, because that’s all that will really fit.]

In short: The valets fill up every surrounding parking lot first, before they start filling up their own.  They’re playing the city and Regions Bank for chumps and stealing money from the taxpayer.

When I told this story to Art Noriega, head of the Miami Parking Authority, he hit the roof on Monday morning. Can’t wait for my follow-up interview with him.

Let’s tie all this up with a pretty little bow for people who need to have their noses rubbed in the corruption before they actually see it.

Because:

  • The valet companies are connected to Gino Falsetto through Andrew Falsetto at Paradise Parking;
  • Gino Falsetto owns Aries Management & Development LLC;
  • Aries has a 50-year lease on the E.W.F. Stirrup House, the 2nd oldest house in Coconut Grove, designated historic, but currently undergoing nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect;
  • Aries owns the Bicycle Shop (through another company), which was the subject of Is Aries Development Coconut Grove’s Biggest Scofflaw? and Follow Up to ” Is Aries Development Coconut Grove’s Biggest Scofflaw?”, earlier this week;
  • Aries, through other companies, owns the 2 vacant residential lots across the street from the Stirrup House, which had a cute little West Grove shotgun-and conch-style house on each before they were razed;
  • Aries torpedoed several plans over the years to reopen the Coconut Grove Playhouse, allowing further Demolition by Neglect of that venerated structure that the community is still trying to save;
  • Finally, Aries built the Grove Gardens Resident Condominiums, aka The Monstrosity, which set a new precedent for higher density structures in West Grove;

Is it not obvious to the Powers That Be that a single entity is responsible for most of the deterioration of the area immediately surrounding the Main Highway and Charles Avenue, which has been designated a Historic Roadway?

How does Gino Falsetto get away with all of this right under everybody’s collective noses? More to the point: Am I the only one watching?

Is Aries Development Coconut Grove’s Biggest Scofflaw?

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Aries Development is [allegedly] breaking the law again and, if something isn’t done, somebody’s going to get hurt, probably children. 

Not Now Silly has written about The Bicycle Shop many times in the past year. The condemned structure was deeded to Aries Development, which I have also written about extensively, calling its owner Gino Falsetto the worst neighbour in Coconut Grove.

The Bicycle Shop — and $15,000 — was given to Aries by Miami-Dade County in order to get it to relinquish all claims on The Coconut Grove Playhouse. Until then Aries [under the companies Paradise Parking, Double Park, and Carbbean Parking] had been squatting on the Coconut Grove Parking lot and pocketing the parking revenue. Aries had also scuttled several previous deals to reopen the Playhouse because it claimed the previous deals did not adequately compensate it for its loan to the Playhouse board before it went bankrupt. As long as they were collecting the parking fees, there was little incentive to get off that gravy train. However, Miami-Dade finally shook Aries loose last year.

The first thing Aries did when finally getting its grubby corporate mitts on The Bicycle Shop was rip off the roof. This was done without benefit of a building permit, which is how Aries seems to do everything: without any of the necessary permits, and without city or county oversight. Because ripping off the roof created such an unstable structure, metal bracing had to be installed inside to keep the walls from blowing out. Now those steel trusses are the only thing holding the building together.

During the destruction period, and for a while afterwards, this construction/destruction zone was totally open to the public. The gate on the fence was not locked. Children were playing inside. I contacted the city of Miami several times to complain of an unsafe work site. Eventually, the gate was locked.

Now that gate is unlocked again. 

Saturday Night was FAM Night in Coconut Grove. Because I’m a proud participant of the Coconut Grove Drum Circle, I parked in the Playhouse Parking lot, which is right across the street from where we bang a gong.

When I arrived at the Playhouse parking lot I was shocked — SHOCKED, I TELLS YA! — that the gate to The Bicycle Shop was open again and two young women were inside taking pictures. So I went inside and took pictures of them.

Later, when I went back to my car to get something, there were children (aged 10-12, I’d estimate) running around inside the Bicycle Shop in the dark. There is nothing more attractive to a kid than an unsecured construction site. There is nothing more dangerous than a child running around a construction site in the dark.

I have already called the Coconut Grove NET office to report this unsafe construction zone. I made it clear that I was calling as a reporter and they assured me that a By-Law Inspector would be calling me back. However, I’m still waiting for those callbacks from when I reported this very same unsafe work site more than a year ago. That’s why I hold out no hope I will be called back.

Please keep in mind that Aries Development has not only further blighted the already condemned Bicycle Shop, but controls the 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House, which has been designated historic by the city. It has been undergoing Demolition by Neglect ever since Aries acquired a 50-year lease on this important cultural treasure of Black Grove, where the City of Miami actually began. To learn why this is far more egregious than destroying the Bicycle Shop, please read Happy Birthday Coconut Grove!!! Now Honour Your Past.

Meanwhile, this is just more proof, if any were needed, that Aries Development doesn’t care about the residents of Coconut Grove unless they are living in The Monstrosity, aka Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums, which it built behind the Stirrup House. I wonder if it had all the proper permits for that.

Is Kevin Spacey The Coconut Grove Playhouse Angel Or Devil?

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Playhouse panorama – All pics by author on March 10, 2015

There is disturbing news coming out of Miami concerning the renovations of the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

Everyone thought the Playhouse Plan was well on the way when last year all the financial encumbrances that delayed restoring and reopening the Playhouse had been settled. Then recently, Arquitectonica was chosen as the lead design company to oversee the project. However, quietly in the background lawyer Mike Eidson (Lewis S. “Mike” Eidson) started agitating for a new plan. In a nutshell, it’s far more ambitious than the 300 seat theater proposed as a Trojan Horse for a huge parking garage at Main Highway and Charles Avenue.

Eidson’s plan includes 2 theaters as a Trojan Horse for a huge parking garage at Main Highway and Charles Avenue, one about 350 seats and the other approximately 750 seats. [See: The Latest Play on the Coconut Grove Playhouse for Memorandum of Understanding penned by Miami-Dade Commissioner Xavier Suarez and an overview of the Eidson Plan.] Because this plan is far more ambitious than the previous plan, it will require an additional $40 million to the $20 million already earmarked for the Playhouse restoration. That money has to come from somewhere and Eidson, not unlike Zero Mostel, has been out fund-raising.

Once again weeds are growing out of the house, not the ground.

This is a philanthropist?

In the Business called Show, someone who comes in with enough cash to rescue a play is called an angel. The names being bandied about as so-called “philanthropists” who want to swoop in and save the Coconut Grove Playhouse sound more like devils.

As of this writing, Mike Eidson has yet to return my call. I was hoping for an ON THE RECORD confirmation or denial before taking this to print. However, time is of the essence considering the Miami-Dade Commission will be voting on the Suarez Memorandum of Understanding tomorrow at 2PM. [If I turn out to be wrong, I’ll apologize profusely all around.]

It will take more than 3 “philanthropists” to cough up $40 million, so there will, no doubt, be more names added (or subtracted) from this list. However, 3 names have filtered down to me: Pointe Group, Grass River Properties and Aries Development. Long-time readers of the NNS Newsroom will recognize Aries Development as the company that I have been writing about for the last 6 years. It is owned by rapacious developer Gino Falsetto, who has allowed the E.W.F. Stirrup House to undergo nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect.

SLIGHT TANGENT: It’s worth writing about The Pointe Group and Grass River Properties, but those are stories for another day. I had never heard of Grass River Properties until it came up in connection with the Eidson Plan. Through sheer coincidence, this reporter attended the Golden Pines Neighborhood Association meeting last night at which [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff and the local police Commander were forced to answer for Grass River’s highrise at 27th Avenue and 27th Street. To his credit Grass River rep Christian Cobb was there to answer questions and he was excoriated by several of the residents for parking and traffic difficulties around the project. From what Cobb said many of these problems will be solved soon, but could have been solved a lot sooner had Grass River been proactive, meeting with residents before the project started, or responding to complaints that have been made for the last 18 months. TANGENT OVER.

However, it was the words “Aries Development” and “philanthropist” in the same sentence that made me throw up in my mouth a little. This reporter has written story after story about what a BAD NEIGHBOUR Gino Falsetto has been to the West Grove neighbourhood that he carpetbagged his way into in order to build The Monstrosity. The Monstrosity is immediately behind — and dwarfs — the E.W.F. Stirrup House, which he controls through a 50-year lease, and has allowed to undergo nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect.

Why is the E.W.F. Stirrup House
culturally important to Miami?
Read: Happy Birthday Coconut
Grove!!! Now Honour Your Past

This is a philanthropist?

When asked, Aries Development puts forward two different lies for allowing this situation to continue. Pick one: Either they ran out of money before they got to the Stirrup House restoration or the city keeps delaying them. Dismissing the latter lie is easy: Aries only filed plans last year with the city, plans that are totally inadequate for historic preservation, under which all renovations must take place.

The “ran out of money” lie is even more laughable considering that Aries: 1). Built two hugely expensive basement levels below The Monstrosity for parking and a private Members Only Wine Cave called La Cava; 2). Is operating 3 restaurants on the ground floor of The Monstrosity; 3). Loaned the now-bankrupt Playhouse Board an undetermined amount of money, which is how it ended up with the Bicycle Shop in compensation; 4). “Squatted” on the Playhouse Parking Lot, collecting the fees from people silly enough to park there; 5). Is about to pony up a portion of $40 million dollars — out of the goodness of its corporate heart — to save the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

This is a philanthropist?

I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

It’s time for people to treat Gino Falsetto as the slum landlord he is and reject his money-grubbing social climbing until he fulfills the promises he’s already made concerning the E.W.F. Stirrup House. 

More than any single individual Gino Falsetto stands to profit the most from a successful and lively Coconut Grove Playhouse. Gino Falsetto isn’t a philanthropist; he’s out to line his own pockets at the expense of everybody else.

A philanthropist would not allow this cultural TREASURE of Black Grove to waste away. A philanthropist would have already done the right thing. A philanthropist would not have created the current blight that is the E.W.F. Stirrup House and the Bicycle Shop. 

Gino Falsetto should should be made to clean up the messes he’s already created before anyone considers his money clean enough to touch.

This is a philanthropist?

TO BE FAIR: There are some real angels in this story: Mike Eidson and Kevin Spacey.

Eidson has come up with a game-changing Playhouse Plan that will be more than just a rinky-dink 300 seat theater with a parking garage wrapped around it.

Furthermore, having interviewed a half dozen people OFF THE RECORD about Mike Eidson, everyone tells me he’s on the side of the angels. Seriously. One person used that expression. His only interest seems to be to bring live theater back to the corner of Main Highway and Charles Avenue.

Those in the know have been exercising caution about embracing Eidson’s Plan, though. The big fear is that it will take him so long to raise the $40 million, and solve all the design problems, that Florida just yanks the lease and sells the property to the highest bidder for a huge development. My fear is that Eidson is in such a hurry to show that he’s got this under control that he’s not too choosy about who he climbs into bed with.

Kevin Spacey, who has signed onto the Eidson Plan as Artistic Consultant, should also be considered an angel. There’s no denying Spacey’s acting chops. Were those films not career enough he’s also credited with restoring the reputation of London’s venerated Old Vic Theater as Artistic Director.

I am sure Spacey is getting involved with the Coconut Grove Playhouse for all the right reasons. While not as old as the Old Vic, it also has a venerated history, which I’m sure has not escaped his notice. Were I an an actor of his stature, that would be the kind of challenge I would take on next.

This is a philanthropist?

However, based on the little I know of him, I don’t think he would approve of the treatment of E.W.F. Stirrup’s legacy. It’s less than 200 feet from the Stirrup House to Coconut Grove Playhouse. Kevin Spacey needs to be made aware of how this carpetbagging rapscallion treats the people of West Grove, in which the Coconut Grove Playhouse resides.

To be clear: It’s only because E.W.F. Stirrup was Black has his house been allowed to undergo almost a decade of Demolition by Neglect. More than anyone else, except for perhaps his contemporary Ralph Monroe, Stirrup put his stamp on Coconut Grove and, therefore, Miami. Yet Monroe’s house, The Barnacle, just a few thousand feet away, is now memorialized as a State Park. The E.W.F Stirrup House is memorialized as more Gino Falsetto blight, just like the Bicycle Shop.

A panorama showing the parking lot between the Bicycle Shop and the north wall of the Coconut
Grove Playhouse. When Aries acquired the Bicycle Shop one of the first things it did was rip the roof off.
This led to an unsafe construction site, which I reported to By Law Compliance until they finally sealed the
building. However, then the structure became unsafe because it no longer had a roof to hold the walls in. Now
the interior is criss-crossed with massive steel beams bolted to the walls and floors to stabilize the structure.

This is a philanthropist?

A Playhouse Trojan Horse Update

, , , , , , , ,
These are the arrows in Question 3. I’m not sure
why they were blocked off this way yesterday.

Last week I received a call from the executive assistant of Art Noriega, CEO of the Miami Parking Authority. Because it began with a fulsome apology for not answering my email [See: The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part II], I was willing to listen. 

Mr. Noriega wanted to have a meeting at my convenience to discuss my email. I suggested Wednesday [yesterday] and, instead of meeting at his office, we meet at the Playhouse Parking lot. He was more than willing. In the exchange of emails confirming our meeting, I made one last demand: that he still answer my email. That way we could have a conversation, as opposed to a grilling, and get to better understand each other and the issues. He was more than willing to do that, as well.

Here is Mr. Noriega’s replies to the questions that applied to the Miami Parking Authority, followed by those [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff has refused to answer:

Feb 17
Headly,

In anticipation of our meeting tomorrow, here is our response to your original e-mail. Really looking forward to a lively discussion.

[…] 2). When neighbours complained previously that the 45 valet parking spots rented from the MPA would bring additional traffic, they were assured there would be no additional traffic on Charles Avenue as a result. This is clearly false. Why has this been allowed to continue for the past year despite occasional complaints by the neighbours?

The MPA was not made aware of any complaints. The valet has been operating for quite some time. If there were complaints, they haven’t come to us.

3). If there was to be no additional traffic on Charles Avenue then why did the MPA, when it resurfaced the Main Street parking lot, paint a giant arrow on the ground immediately BEHIND the Playhouse directing cars to exit onto Charles Avenue?

The arrows were placed to add clarity to the ingress and egress of traffic through that area.  The traffic, to our understanding, always flowed that way even before MPA took over the management.

4). Some of these 45 spots rented from the MPA are now being used several days a week as a drive-in movie theater. How is this being done?

MPA entered into an agreement with Miami Dade County to allow this drive-in theater to operate in that section of the lot, Mon-Thurs Nights. Is there a sub-lease? Yes A contract? Yes A gentleman’s agreement? Is the MPA involved? Yes

5). What permits were needed to run a drive-in theater in that parking lot?

Blue Star Lite is the company running the drive-in theater and they pulled all the necessary permits from the city of Miami.  What are the insurance requirements and who is paying for it? The insurance requirements are detailed in the contract and is paid for by Blue Star Lite and are approved by the city of Miami risk management department.

6). When these 45 spaces are full of cars and/or drive-in movie patrons, where does the overflow parking go now that the gate on the residential lot has been locked again? [It’s been locked and unlocked as needed for overflow parking until now.]

Overflow is directed to the front portion of the lot located adjacent to Main Highway.

7). At the far west end of the MPA parking lot on Main Highway there is a chain-link fence with a double-gate that feeds onto William Avenue. Why is this gate locked most daylight hours, but quietly unlocked and left wide open on busy nights in Coconut Grove, when the Playhouse parking lot is full?

The gate should be closed at all times.  We have addressed with our security to ensure this is indeed the case.  It should not be open at any time.

8). What will the City of Miami do about monitoring these valet parking infractions going forward?

MPA monitors all valet companies working on the public right of way. Any  Valet companies working in or on private property are monitored by the city of Miami code enforcement division.

9). What will the City of Miami do to reduce all the added traffic these parking lots have caused on Charles and William Avenues?

This question needs to be addressed by City of Miami transportation division. The traffic flow there now is much lower than it was when the Playhouse was operational.

[…]

Regards,
Art

Art Noriega
Chief Executive Officer
Miami Parking Authority

Just to remind readers, here are the questions [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff has refused to answer, merely replying that the resident who complained had her complaint satistfied in 2 business days. 

 1). Why did Charles Avenue resident Cynthia Hernandez have to insist that the police do something after they first tried to tell her that there was nothing they could do since the property owner hadn’t made a complaint?

[To their credit, but only after additional phone calls, the police finally ordered the residential lot to be emptied of cars; a process, I am told, that took 45 minutes and created the 2nd traffic jam of the night on Charles Avenue. The first was filling the empty lot with some 40-50 cars in the first place.]

[…] 10). Considering Gino Falsetto is one of the owners of Aries; and considering he also has financial interests in the empty residential lot being used for the last year as overflow parking to the 45 spaces rented from the MPA; and considering he is also part owner of Paradise Parking; and considering it’s his 3 restaurants that use the valet parking; and considering that his brother Andrew Falsetto is a part of South Park, the company that took the fall for Friday night’s parking fiasco; isn’t all this circular finger-pointing just a little too convenient for everyone to duck responsibility by blaming this ongoing situation as a one-time event?

The E.W.F. Stirrup House on February 18, 2015
after nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect.

11). And, most important of all: Considering all I have uncovered and written about Gino Falsetto’s shenanigans — his Demolition by Neglect of the 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House; the destruction of the old trees on that property without the proper plans and permits; the interior demolition of the E.W.F. Stirrup House without permit or historic plan on file; the destruction of the wall that separated La Bottega from the current construction zone of the E.W.F. Stirrup lot without the proper permits; the removing the roof of the Bicycle Shop without a demolition permit; his alleged squatting on the Playhouse parking lot for several years; etc., so forth, and so on — isn’t it time that Falsetto, and the series of companies he hides behind, are held responsible for the downgrading of the quality of life of your West Grove constituents who live around his fiefdom?

The residents on Charles Avenue may be gratified to learn that Art Noriega suggests they call Miami Code Enforcement for any further valet parking shenanigans and they’ll take care of it, especially now that he’s on the case.

The Charles Avenue Historic Marker is right across
the street from the E.W.F. Stirrup House and immediate
behind the Coconut Grove Playhouse. Any restoration that
doesn’t pay attention to this rich history is an insult to the
Black folk that have lived in the West Grove for generations.

I didn’t bother to ask Noriega any questions about the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In because it will be kicked to the curb, literally, when — and if —  the Coconut Grove Playhouse becomes a construction zone. However, Norienga did mention, in an off-hand way, that all the valet parking companies sharing these lots will be in trouble when — and if — the Coconut Grove Playhouse becomes a construction zone.

My sense of Art Noriega is that he’s a nice guy with a difficult job. He has to balance Miami’s need for more and more parking spaces with a sensitivity to neighbourhoods, traffic patterns, and culture. I did my usual sales job on him about the rich cultural history of West Grove. I think I impressed him with my sincerity. More to the point: I hope I made him understand that what was being ignored in all this talk of a revival for the Coconut Grove Playhouse is the neighbourhood immediately behind it.

Noriega seemed genuinely pained when he spoke of the Coconut Grove Playhouse being dark for all these years. The way he described it, back in the day, made it sound as if The Playhouse was the stable cultural center of a swirling art scene that encompassed the entire Grove. He contends its shuttering created a black hole for businesses throughout that entire south end of downtown Coconut Grove, from which Commodore Plaza is only just recovering.

Noriega also said that any talk of how many parking spaces will be needed [200-300 is what I’ve heard] on the Playhouse footprint is premature. They still don’t know how much of the building can be saved, if any, how big the theater will be, and whether there will be one theater or two, as a recently floated plan suggests.

He seems genuinely concerned to see that forward progress continues on the Playhouse Renovation/Revival. His biggest fear seems to be that the State of Florida (which owns the land) gets tired of waiting for something to happen and sells the land, as it has always had the power to do once the Playhouse board went bankrupt.

It’s been a year since Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring cut all the deals that allowed the Playhouse Renovation to go ahead. Since then, and only recently, Arquitectonica was chosen to oversee the project. How long will Florida wait for plans to arrive on a builder’s drawing board is anybody’s guess, but it certainly won’t be forever.

The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part II

, , , , , , ,
Gate [H] left open for the valet parking allowing traffic to
go out onto William and Thomas Avenues. Note the arrow
on the ground directing traffic out onto Charles Avenue.

Part I of The Coconut Grove Trojan Horse presented a capsule history of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, the surrounding area, and how a good neighbour’s complaint to City Hall led to this long investigative article. 

After researching the parking issues around the Playhouse for the last year and seeing how the residents were being abused by these valet companies, especially following a night of havoc they created on Charles Avenue in December, this reporter emailed [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff a series of questions which have yet to be answered:

FROM: Headly Westerfield
TO: msarnoff@salawmiami.com, rnelson@miamigov.com
Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 3:36 PM
SUBJECT: ON THE RECORD – PLEASE RESPOND

For
the past year I have been quietly researching the parking lots
surrounding the Coconut Grove Playhouse. This week I was forwarded an
email chain in which your name appears. This seems like a good time to
write up the result of some of that research. My forthcoming article
concerns more than the illegal parking last Friday night on the empty
residential lot on the north side of the Historic Roadway of Charles
Avenue.

Since this is not the first time this lot has been used
for overflow valet parking — just the latest and most egregious — the
denials by Daniel Radrizzani ring hollow. I have witnessed this
residential lot being used on many Friday and Saturday nights and have
taken pictures of it. The neighbours will confirm that this has been an
ongoing problem. And, Coconut Grove Village Council Chair Javier
Gonzales will no doubt remember the several nights I interrupted his
evenings to tell him he should rush on over there to see it for himself.

Consequently,
I have a series of questions about *ALL* the parking surrounding the
Coconut Grove Playhouse, of which this residential lot is only one piece
of the entire puzzle.

1). Why did Charles Avenue resident
Cynthia Hernandez have to insist that the police do something after they
first tried to tell her that there was nothing they could do since the
property owner hadn’t made a complaint?

[To their credit, but
only after additional phone calls, the police finally ordered the
residential lot to be emptied of cars; a process, I am told, that took
45 minutes and created the 2nd traffic jam of the night on Charles
Avenue. The first was filling the empty lot with some 40-50 cars in the
first place.]

2). When neighbours complained previously that the
45 valet parking spots rented from the MPA would bring additional
traffic, they were assured there would be no additional traffic on
Charles Avenue as a result. This is clearly false. Why has this been
allowed to continue for the past year despite occasional complaints by
the neighbours?

3). If there was to be no additional traffic on
Charles Avenue then why did the MPA, when it resurfaced the Main Street
parking lot, paint a giant arrow on the ground immediately BEHIND the
Playhouse directing cars to exit onto Charles Avenue?

4). Some of
these 45 spots rented from the MPA are now being used several days a
week as a drive-in movie theater. How is this being done? Is there a
sub-lease? A contract? A gentleman’s agreement? Is the MPA involved?

5).
What permits were needed to run a drive-in theater in that parking lot?
What are the insurance requirements and who is paying for it?

6).
When these 45 spaces are full of cars and/or drive-in movie patrons,
where does the overflow parking go now that the gate on the residential
lot has been locked again? [It’s been locked and unlocked as needed for
overflow parking until now.]

7). At the far west end of the MPA
parking lot on Main Highway there is a chain-link fence with a
double-gate that feeds onto William Avenue. Why is this gate locked most
daylight hours, but quietly unlocked and left wide open on busy nights
in Coconut Grove, when the Playhouse parking lot is full?

8). What will the City of Miami do about monitoring these valet parking infractions going forward?

9).
What will the City of Miami do to reduce all the added traffic these
parking lots have caused on Charles and William Avenues?

10).
Considering Gino Falsetto is one of the owners of Aries; and considering
he also has financial interests in the empty residential lot being used
for the last year as overflow parking to the 45 spaces rented from the
MPA; and considering he is also part owner of Paradise Parking; and
considering it’s his 3 restaurants that use the valet parking; and
considering that his brother Andrew Falsetto is a part of South Park,
the company that took the fall for Friday night’s parking fiasco; isn’t
all this circular finger-pointing just a little too convenient for
everyone to duck responsibility by blaming this ongoing situation as a
one-time event?

11). And, most important of all: Considering all I
have uncovered and written about Gino Falsetto’s shenanigans — his
Demolition by Neglect of the 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House; the
destruction of the old trees on that property without the proper plans
and permits; the interior demolition of the E.W.F. Stirrup House without
permit or historic plan on file; the destruction of the wall that
separated La Bottega from the current construction zone of the E.W.F.
Stirrup lot without the proper permits; the removing the roof of the
Bicycle Shop without a demolition permit; his alleged squatting on the
Playhouse parking lot for several years; etc., so forth, and so on —
isn’t it time that Falsetto, and the series of companies he hides
behind, are held responsible for the downgrading of the quality of life
of your West Grove constituents who live around his fiefdom?

I will publish when I think my story is ready and would like to include your response. A prompt response ensures that.

My questions to [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff
were punted to the Miami Parking Authority, which has still yet to answer.

The area surrounding the
Coconut Grove Playhouse
[Click map to enlarge]
LEGEND:


A). Grove Gardens Condominiums;
aka The Monstrosity;
B). Regions Bank;
C). The E.W.F. Stirrup House;
D). Zoned residential lots, used
for illegal parking;
E). Part of the 45 parking spaces
leased for Valet Parking;
F). Blue Star Drive In & remaining 45
spaces leased to Valet parking;
G). Playhouse Parking Lot
operated by the MPA;
H). Unlocked gate directing traffic
onto William and Thomas Streets
and location of arrow directing cars
to exit onto Charles Avenue;
I). Main entrance/exit for main
Playhouse parking lot;
J). The Bicycle Shop;
K). The Barnacle, now a State Park,
once belonged to Commodore Ralph
Monroe, a contemporary of E.W.F.
Stirrup;
L). Rich people in gated enclaves;
M). Far less well off people in West
Grove, which has remained
predominately Black and depressed
during the last 125 years;
N). Commodore Plaza, named after
Ralph Monroe, is lined with pricy
eateries and more expensive art
galleries, meant for people with
more disposable incomes than
those on the surrounding blocks.

In the meantime, I emailed back [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff to
re-ask questions 1, 2, 8, 9, 10, and 11, since those questions could ONLY
be addressed by an elected representative on behalf of his
constituents. The response from Sarnoff’s office, paraphrasing, “As we
told you before, the neighbour is satisfied her complaint was resolved
within 2 business days. We’re done here.”

While I didn’t get a response from people paid by the City of Miami to answer questions, I did get a response from Regions Bank [B],
which is treating this issue seriously.

The Regions Bank parking lot is
another small piece to the parking puzzle. On many occasions I watched the valets zip cars in and out of the bank parking lot after hours. After asking a few discrete questions I was told the local Regions manager had an informal
agreement with the valet parking company to use the bank’s parking lot
at night. Consequently, I contacted Regions’ HQ and asked several questions about its
Coconut Grove branch:

1).
Is Regions Bank aware of any arrangement between the manager of your
Coconut Grove branch and the manager of the 3 restaurants next door
(Calamari, La Bottega, The Taurus) to use the bank parking lot for the
restaurant’s valet parking during the bank’s off hours?

2). Is there an [sic] written agreement on this arrangement or is it just an understanding?

3).
The valets get $6 per car. I have counted more than a dozen cars at any
given time in this parking lot, with cars constantly being brought in
and out as I watched. These valet fees represent several hundred dollars
on the busy Friday and Saturday nights that I have witessed [sic]
myself. Is any of this money shared with Regions Bank? With the Coconut
Grove Regions Bank manager?

4). Has liability insurance has been
arranged for the shunting of cars in and out of this parking lot? If so,
who is the provider and who pays for the insurance? If not, who would
be responsible were there to be a fatality as cars zip in and out on
this residential street?

5). Why is your parking lot being used
to secure profits for a valet company, and customers for 3 restaurants,
who would otherwise eat elsewhere were it not for the valet parking?

Please
respond as soon as is convenient because I plan to post my story when
it’s finished and would like to give Regions Bank the opportunity to
respond.

Once I started asking questions about this arrangement, it was formalized: 

Headly,

You can attribute the following to me:

We do have a license agreement between Regions and the valet parking company.

We do not receive any financial compensation.

What
Regions and our customers do receive is that the parking company helps
manage the lot after hours.  Before this agreement, there was an issue
with cars parking in the lot after hours and blocking access to the
night drop and ATM.  This kept customers from being able to access their
funds – or make deposits in their accounts – in an efficient manner. 
The agreement was developed to help remedy that issue and to help people
in the community access the ATM and night drop as needed.

You would need to consult with the valet company regarding insurance arrangements covering their activities on the lot.

Thank you.

Jeremy D. King
Corporate Communications
Regions Financial Corporation
205-XXX-XXXX
jeremyd.king@regions.com

So
… While Regions Bank has seen fit to reply to me, neither [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc. D. Sarnoff, nor the Miami Parking
Authority have answered any of my questions. Which brings us to this:

The Parking Problem at Charles Avenue and Main Highway
~~or~~
Why Is The Playhouse a Trojan Horse for a Huge Parking Garage?

A sign on the Regions Bank parking lot.

If you want to see some hard-working men and women, wander on over to Main Highway and Charles Avenue and watch the valets at work.

Diners pull up in their cars
in front of The Monstrosity [A] because they are going to one of the 4
restaurants on the property: The Taurus; Calamari; La Bottega; and the
member’s only, private wine club, La Cava. These restaurants were forced
to offer valet parking because they were struggling from a lack of
customers. Blame it on the Broken Window Syndrome; people were loathe to walk
past the boarded-up Coconut Grove Playhouse to get to Falsetto’s
restaurants. In fact, you will rarely see pedestrians walk any further
south on Main Highway than The Greenstreet Cafe, Falsetto’s biggest competitor just up the block. Everything south of that is a virtual No Pedestrian Zone.

When cars pull up the valets collect $6.00, give it a parking tag, and zip them on over to parking lots [B], [E], or [F]
as quickly as possible. Then they run back for the next diner or to
retrieve a car for a satiated diner. At the end of a hot night the valets are drenched in sweat. I have absolutely nothing against these
people and actually admire their work ethic. [In fact, some of them have
become quite friendly and provide me with background information even though
they know I am working against their boss’ interests.] However, there is no denying these valet companies are destroying the quality of life for the residents on Charles,
William and Thomas Avenues.

Recently I was SHOCKED to learn something I
hadn’t discovered in the 6 years I have been researching West Grove: The Monstrosity
has 2 underground levels, one a parking level and
the other the private, members only faux wine cave known as La Cava.

I
can hear a gigantic “So what?” to that news, except this is Florida.
Dig a small hole in the ground with a spoon and it fills up with water. That’s why basements are not built here, as dry basements are hugely expensive in South Florida.

When The Monstrosity was built there were obviously concerns about residential parking, as is standard for any project. To that end the building was designed with an underground
parking lot for the residents in the condos above. Not having to share any above-ground space for parking allowed Aries to build a structure with more residential and restaurant space for the footprint and height for which it was zoned. However, it’s clear that the City
of Miami, or anyone else, did not anticipate sufficient parking for the building’s multi-use — the restaurants — which
is why the valets are forced to use every available parking space in the area.

Last
year, when Miami-Dade County Cultural Czar Michael Spring cut the deal that gave Aries Development the
Bicycle Shop [J], another part of that deal was that the valet companies
could rent 45 parking spaces [E & F] at $6.00 p/day p/space from the Miami Parking Authority.

The Blue Star-lite Drive-In at night

There’s one last player to be introduced into this story and that’s the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In, which uses parking lot [F] several nights a week to project movies onto a screen attached to the back wall of the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

When
I first heard about this new use of the parking lot, I thought it was a
great idea to help revitalize the neighbourhood, not only bringing movies back to that corner, but creating a fun event for the neighbourhood. However, I have since
changed my mind for the following reasons:

1). To begin
with, this is an expensive night out. Just like the rest of Coconut
Grove, to be honest. A normal night out at the megaplex is barely
more
expensive than the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In and you don’t have to bring
your own lawn chairs or cars or bug spray. This is not priced for the
families that live in the areas marked [M].

I’ll take a Sliders Basket and a Hot Dog Basket, please.

2). My next thought, because I know how these things work, was, “How does Gino Falsetto make money off this deal?”

Falsetto’s
valet parking company rents these spaces from the MPA. Is the Blue
Star-Lite Drive-In paying any rent to Paradise Parking or the MPA? I
still don’t have the answer to that question from the MPA, but I didn’t
have to search very far to see at least one way that Falsetto is making
money off the drive-in. He’s selling overly expensive hot dogs and
hamburgers to the people who have enough disposable income to pay these
crazy rates for a movie in a parking lot.

The Blue Star-lite Drive-In during the day
The Blue Star-lite Drive-In during the day

3). Josh Frank, owner of the Blue Star-Lite, has
turned his portion of the parking lot [F] into a junk yard, complete with
rust imported from other locations. Admittedly, all this junk gives
the drive-in a funky, street- level feel, despite its sky-high prices. However, if any of the homeowners along Charles, William, or Thomas
Avenues [M again] loaded up their property with this junk, they’d
be cited by the city for creating a hazard and/or an unsightly mess.
The Blue Star-Lite Drive-In is allowed to load up this property with
everything from camper trailers to porta-potties. The only thing missing
is the junk yard dog.

The fine facilities at the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In

4). The first time I met Josh Frank I gave him my
card and he was friendly, quite open, and willing to talk. The second time I tried
to talk to Frank he was not only rude, but told me where I could line my
car up to pay an admission to see a movie. I declined the offer.
However, I couldn’t help but wonder whether he had seen any of my posts
on Falsetto posted here in the interim.

I have now
spent many hours over the past year just observing these various parking
lots and the traffic patterns along these streets. As well, I have interviewed valets, security guards, and neighbours at properties
surrounding the Coconut Grove Playhouse. Consequently, I now have answers to some of my questions. 

The answer to
Question #7 above is this: This gate is opened to traffic on Friday and
Saturday nights so the valets working the restaurants on Commodore
Plaza [N] — which I never knew about until this all blew up — can zip in and out the back way [H and pics above and below] without having to drive out onto
Main Highway. Therefore, the valets are entirely responsible for the
added traffic onto William and Thomas Avenues because they are the only reason
that gate is left opened on busy Friday and Saturday nights.

IRONY ALERT: It
was actually the valets on Commodore Plaza [N] and not The Monstrosity
[A] that caused the mess on Charles Avenue which led to the neighbour
outrage. [Which is a distinction without a difference because all these
valet companies are owned by Falsetto and/or companies owned, in part,
by Falsetto.]

On December 12th there was a big event at the Cruz Building — the fake New
Orleans structure on Commodore Plaza [N] rumoured to have been built with cocaine money — and
the valets needed a place to park all those cars. Gino Falsetto
graciously lent the 2 residential lots across the street from the E.W.F.
Stirrup House that had been used for overflow parking for the last
year. They had been getting away with it for so long, but they finally overplayed their hand by trying to park that many cars at once.

And so
finally we come to how all of this leads the Not Now Silly Newsroom to
conclude that the Playhouse rehab is really the cultural Trojan horse to
build a huge, misshapen glass and steel parking structure — the kind Arquitectonica is best known for — with a 300-seat
auditorium attached.

An artist’s rendering of a massive development on Main Highway at Charles Avenue hiding a parking garage, possibly 2 theaters, and what could turn out to be condo-style residences for thespians and others who might eventually work in the theaters. A secret source tells me I can discount the rumour that there will be retail on the premises because it’s all State of Florida land, despite Miami-Dade County running all the backroom deals, and the charter prevents retail. However, that’s assuming a gift shop doesn’t count and the rules don’t change.

Another view of the arrows on the ground directing
traffic out to Charles Avenue. Picture was taken from
the approximate location of the unlocked gate [H].

To begin with all of the valet
parking machinations have proven 2 things: 1). Parking is the only thing
generating money at Charles and Main Highway; 2). There’s a growing
need for parking surrounding the Playhouse. [I don’t want to get too
deeply in the weeds, but there’s also a plan for nearby Ransom School to use
these parking lots for overflow.]

Second, it always
struck me as odd that the MPA was on the committee making decisions
about the future of the Playhouse. It had a place at the table by virtue
of [G], the parking lot it wrestled away from the squatting Paradise Parking.

I
was recently able to get my hands on the Notice to Professional
Consultants, the document that lays out the criteria to which anyone bidding on
the project should adhere [emphasis added]:

Providing
a master plan which may include both immediate and future development
based on the existing property’s historic designation, programming goals
for the facility, and the available funding. The components envisioned
for the site include a state of the art theater (target capacity:
300-600 seats), including all required front-of-house and back-of-house
spaces necessary for the successful operation of the theater, parking, and future compatible development that may address the need for additional parking, a second theater (target capacity 600-900 seats) and complementary site amenities such as retail, restaurants, etc.;

No
sooner had I acquired that document than Cultural Czar Michael Spring
announced that Arquitectonica won the bid. In an email to Javier
Gonzales, Chair of of the Coconut Grove Village Council, Spring put the
best shine on all the backroom machinations. One paragraph stuck out
[emphasis added]:

The
5-person CSC appointed by the Mayor to evaluate the teams included: the
Executive Director of the Black Archives (who has overseen the
renovation and expansion of the historic Lyric Theater in Overtown and
who currently serves as a member of the City of Miami’s Historic and
Environmental Preservation Board, and was its chair from 2007 to 2009); a
representative from FIU, the co-lessee of the Playhouse property (a
senior university executive who has expertise in finance and served on
the committee that negotiated the eventual contract with
Arquitectonica); the CEO of the City of Miami’s Parking Authority
(who will be involved in assessing the potential for a parking garage on
the site and who has extensive experience managing and improving
Gusman Center for the Performing Arts); the capital projects manager
from my department who will be the lead in managing the architectural
process (who has a background in architecture and extensive experience
in building and renovating theaters); and myself.

When I talk about backroom decisions, I am not talking about the selection process that just ended. I am talking about all the backroom decisions that were made before the process was set out for tender. Even
before any designs were considered Michael Spring downsized the
size of the theater from 1100 to 300, and added a possible second theater. The presence of the MPA assures there will be a giant parking structure on the property and the choosing of Arquitectonica,increases the likelihood that it will be some gigantic glass and steel structure that will look totally out of place viewed from the quiet residential neighbourhood marked [M] on the map.

And, I am willing to place a bet that when this new monstrosity is being argued in front of whatever baords are going to vet it, they will point to Gino Falsetto’s Monstrosity as the thing that opened the door to this kind of over-development at Main Highway and Charles Avenue and, OH, BY THE WAY, we just gotta solve the parking problem around the Coconut Grove Playhouse if it is ever to be taken seriously as a tourist destination for the kind of folks who have the kind of money it takes to live in Coconut Grove.

And that, dear readers, is why I believe the Coconut Grove Playhouse renovation is a Trojan horse for a big, huge, honking garage. I would love to be proven wrong.

Another rendering of a potential structure to replace, not renovate, the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

Save The Coconut Playhouse
is a Facebook group not affiliated with the Not Now Silly Newsroom. It
has far more detail about the backroom machinations of the current plan
to renovate and/or tear down the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

Please join if you care about historic preservation.

The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part I

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Some of the parking lots described in this post.
[See map legend below for matching location.]

Background: Looking south towards [C] the E.W.F. Stirrup
House, dwarfed by [A] The Monstrosity, aka Grove Gardens
Condominiums. Foreground: Looking across [F] The Blue
Star- Lite Drive-In and [E] the 45 parking spaces leased from
the MPA for Valet Parking. Behind the fence at right are [D]
the two vacant residential lots used illegally for parking rich
folk. Immediate left: The back wall of the Coconut Grove
Playhouse, the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In screen, and some junk.

Events have been moving quickly this week. Just as I was finishing a blog post writing up a full year’s worth of research on the parking lots
surrounding the Coconut Grove Playhouse, Miami-Dade County selected Arquitectonica to restore/ renovate/raze the structure (depending on who you ask). That forced a drastic rewrite to what follows.

Get comfortable, kiddies, because this is a long one. It needs to be long so I can develop the thesis in the headline: “Why is the reno of the Coconut Grove Playhouse really a Trojan horse for a gigantic glass and steel parking garage with a small theater attached?” It’s a sprawling Michener-like story — so long I’ve had to chop it up into 2 parts — covering almost a century and a cast of characters that number in the tens. Like Michener, lets take a quick look at who you will be meeting:  

  1. First and foremost, E.W.F. Stirrup, one of Florida’s
    first Black millionaires, who had more to do with the creation
    of Coconut Grove and the building of West Grove than anyone else you can
    name. Almost with his own hands he built an entire, cohesive Black neighbourhood in the Jim Crow south that lasts to this day. His house and his legacy have been allowed to undergo Demolition
    by Neglect; 
  2.  Commodore Ralph Monroe, a contemporary of Stirrup’s whose house The Barnacle, only a few thousand feet away from Stirrup’s, is now a State Park [K] and polished within an inch of its life, for whom Commodore Plaza [N] is named, and who gets most of the credit for creating the early Coconut Grove;
  3. Aries Development in the Snidely Whiplash persona of Gino Falsetto, who built The Monstrosity that changed the entire character of West Grove, has allowed the  E.W.F. Stirrup House to go to wreck and ruin through nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect, and who, through several of his valet and parking companies, is destroying the quiet enjoyment of his neighbours; 
  4. The [allegedly] corrupt Miami District 2 Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, who refuses to answer any questions posed to him by this reporter and is now running his puppet wife for his seat, now that he’s been term-limited off the City of Miami Gravy Train; 
  5. Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring, who recently defended the legitimate “cone of silence” during the Coconut Grove Playhouse selection process, but doesn’t mention any of the backroom deals and decisions that were made prior to starting the selection process and dropping the cone of silence; 
  6. Arquitectonica, chosen by Michael Spring’s selection committee to oversee the Coconut Grove Playhouse destruction, or renewal, depending on which side of the fence you sit;
  7. Luis Choter, of The Miami Parking Authority, who has likewise refused to answer the questions forwarded to him by [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, despite his email to me of January 27th apologizing for his lack of attention and promising he will be “looking into all the concerns and responding accordingly within the next couple of days.”;
  8. Cameo appearances by Sharie Blanton, of [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff‘s office; Ron Nelson, of same; Arthur Noriega, CEO of the Miami Parking Authority; Alejandra Argudin, who does something or other with the MPA; and Rolando Tapanes, another MPA employee; all of whom are in the email’s CC: field dodging my questions;
  9. Entrepreneur Josh Frank and his Blue Star-Lite Drive-In; 
  10. Jeremy D. King, a media flack at Regions Bank’s HQ; 
  11. The Movers and Shakers of Coconut Grove, both now and then;
  12. 1920s architect John Irwin Bright who designed the Coconut Grove Playhouse; 
  13. Several valet companies with dozens of valets;
  14. A number of private parking companies;
  15. A number of different parking lots;
  16. And, neighbours both good and bad.

Let’s begin:

After a years research — and a lack of clear answers from the city of Miami — Not Now Silly concludes the small 300-seat theater being proposed as a replacement for the Coconut Grove Playhouse, is nothing more than a cultural Trojan Horse being used to sneak a huge parking structure onto the corner of Charles Avenue and Main Highway.

I started researching the parking problems around the Coconut Grove Playhouse a year ago as a natural outgrowth of my research on the E.W.F. Stirrup House and The Colour Line in West Grove. Six years ago, when I first started researching Ebenezer Woodbury Frankling Stirrup, I could have hardly imagined that his house, The Coconut Grove Playhouse and the Playhouse parking lot were interconnected in a very complicated ways, both now and historically.

The Bright Plan shows the proposed city hall and golf course,
with “Colored Town” moved to “the other side of the tracks.”

A QUICK HISTORY LESSON: Prior to the illegal annexation of Cocoanut [sic] Grove by Miami in 1925, the town’s monied interests — the Movers and Shakers — of The Grove envisioned turning the small, nascent tourist village into a big tourist destination. So they hired Philadelphia architect John Irwin Bright, who came up with The Bright Plan in 1921, the very first of an untold number of urban renewal plans for Coconut Grove over the years.

The Bright Plan called for a fancy hotel; a golf course across most of West Grove, from Main Highway to Douglas; and a city hall approximately where Cocowalk now is. A wide boulevard ran from city hall to Biscayne Bay with a reflecting pool down the middle. The entire Bright Plan was based on Mediterranean-style architecture and would have been beautiful. However, it never got built. The bottom fell out of the Florida real estate market almost before the ink on The Bright Plan had dried.

However, there was one item on the Bright Plan that eventually got built: The Coconut Grove Theater (now the Coconut Grove Playhouse) was erected in 1927 and was based on Bright Plan drawings, which is why the building has a faintly Mediterranean feel. It first showed movies, but was later converted to live theater before it closed in ignominious bankruptcy 2006.

This is just one rendering of a potential gigantic development on Main Highway.
Don’t be fooled. The facade will be a facsimile. There is no plan to save it.

Save The Coconut Playhouse is a Facebook group not affiliated with the Not Now Silly Newsroom. It has far more detail about the backroom machinations of the current plan to renovate and/or tear down the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

Please join if you care about historic preservation.

Another rendering of a potential glass and steel parking garage hiding a tiny theater..

Back in 1927 monied interests — the Movers and Shakers — got together to built the movie house to bring culture to Coconut Grove. However, before the theater could be built the land had to be acquired from E.W.F. Stirrup, by then one of the largest landholders in Coconut Grove. It’s still an open question whether Mr. Stirrup, who was Black, could even go into the movie theater just 200 feet from his front door. At the time movie theaters were heavily segregated. The Ace Theater, on Grand, was later built for the Black folk of West Grove.

Back in 1927 parking cars wasn’t a big issue, but there are times these days when it seems like the parking of cars is the only issue.

When Miami developers present plans for new buildings one of the first questions that needs answering is “Where’s the parking?” Providing adequate parking often seems more important than an eye-catching design or quality of life considerations. This is especially true of Coconut Grove, where residents are howling over the fact that Cars2Go and Citi Bike are taking up precious parking spaces in The Grove because parking for their precious cars is more important than taking a chance on new, alternative forms of transportation.

A year ago Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring untangled the Gordian Knot of the Coconut Grove Playhouse in an attempt to revive and renovate it. In other words: Bring culture back to the corner of Main Highway and Charles Avenue.

And, that’s when today’s monied interests — our modern day Movers and Shakers — got involved to screw the taxpayers behind closed doors. 

The backroom Playhouse deal had many moving parts. One part of the deal was to give to Aries Development the former-Bicycle Shop [J on map below] and $15,000. This was done because Aries floated a loan [in an amount I’ve never been able to determine] to the former-Playhouse board before it went belly up. At the time Aries was given a lien on the Bicycle Shop as collateral. That’s not that unusual. What is unusual is that Paradise Parking (another tentacle of the rapacious developer Gino Falsetto, aka Aries Development) is said to have squatted on the Playhouse Parking lot in order to satisfy the loan.

In my exposé from last year, The Coconut Grove Playhouse Deal begins to Unfold, I speculated that a possible future use of the Bicycle Shop could be a restaurant:

[T]urning the Bicycle Shop into a restaurant makes sense because
that’s another cash business. Gino Falsetto [allegedly] learned how
lucrative restaurants can be when he (and his brothers) bankrupted four
of them in the Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, area. When the government
finally moved in to seize the assets (cash in the till and the cutlery,
essentially), Canadians lost an estimated $1,000,000.00 in unpaid taxes.
However, that’s chump change compared to what Falsetto’s investors
lost. That figure is estimated to be upwards of ten million dollars. And
then, next thing you know, Gino Falsetto has enough resources after his
business went bankrupt to buy his way into the hot Miami real estate
market.


Of course, it has to be said, that there are many honest and reputable
restaurant owners. In fact, the vast majority are. However, that doesn’t
mean that restaurant ownership has not been known as a source of illegal profit skimming. Just sayin’.


Speaking of cash businesses, that brings us to the Playhouse parking
lot. On March 1st the Miami Parking Authority (MPA) will take over
control of the Playhouse parking lot. On February 25th the new signage
was being erected. However, most of the old signs hadn’t been removed
yet.


Who had the parking concession until now?


Double Park, Paradise Parking, and Caribbean Parking. Bring Truth To Light
has written extensively about Gino Falsetto; his several various
partners in several various companies; Aries Development Group; shady
Coconut Grove real estate deals; and this particular parking lot. It’s worth quoting extensively: [Click the link to read more of this alleged nefariousness.]

How much money did these companies collect from parking fees in the
time it [allegedly] squatted on the Playhouse parking lot? Was it forced to
return any of that money to the MPA, or was it all just gravy on top of getting the Main Highway frontage, potentially worth millions? And, while I’m asking questions: How much money did these companies report on their income taxes for the years it allegedly squatted on the parking lot?

When I learned these parking companies may have been squatting on the
Playhouse Parking Lot for who-knows-how-long?, I began desultory research on the issue of parking in West Grove, but I had no real reason to write it all up into a post until December 12th.

The area surrounding the
Coconut Grove Playhouse
[Click map to enlarge]
LEGEND:


A). Grove Gardens Condominiums;
aka The Monstrosity;
B). Regions Bank;
C). The E.W.F. Stirrup House;
D). Zoned residential lots, used
for illegal parking;
E). Part of the 45 parking spaces
leased for Valet Parking;
F). Blue Star Drive In & remaining 45
spaces leased to Valet parking;
G). Playhouse Parking Lot
operated by the MPA;
H). Unlocked gate directing traffic
onto William and Thomas Streets
and location of arrow directing cars
to exit onto Charles Avenue;
I). Main entrance/exit for main
Playhouse parking lot;
J). The Bicycle Shop;
K). The Barnacle, now a State Park,
once belonged to Commodore Ralph
Monroe, a contemporary of E.W.F.
Stirrup;
L). Rich people in gated enclaves;
M). Far less well off people in West
Grove, which has remained
predominately Black and depressed
during the last 125 years;
N). Commodore Plaza, named after
Ralph Monroe, is lined with pricy
eateries and more expensive art
galleries, meant for people with
more disposable income than
those on the surrounding blocks.

Not Now Silly has often highlighted the Bad Neighbours on Charles Avenue. For a change of pace let me introduce you to a good neighbour.

Immediately west of the E.W.F. Stirrup House [C] lives Cynthia Hernandez, her husband, and their 2 children. I knew little about Cynthia’s credentials until a recent exchange of emails. That’s when I realized she is a Senior Research Associate, Instructor, & Director of Internship Programs, Research Institute on Social and Economic Policy, Center for Labor Research & Studies, at Florida International University. That’s a mouthful.

I first met Hernandez while photographing the Bicycle Shop for last year’s story. We started talking and, as always, I started pitching the history of the area, especially the E.W.F. Stirrup House. That’s when I learned she lived right next door to the Stirrup House, designated a historic site by the City of Miami, which hasn’t prevented it from undergoing nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect.

Why is preserving the E.W.F. Stirrup House so important to the cultural history of Coconut Grove? Read: Happy Birthday Coconut Grove!!! Now Honour Your Past

Since then we’ve exchanged information on the house and Charles Avenue whenever I’m visiting. Hernandez couldn’t care any
more about what’s going on if she were an actual home owner. Unfortunately, she just
rents. One of the issues we’ve talked about extensively over the past year is the valet parking business that operates out of the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums, aka The Monstrosity [A]. She feels her complaints about the additional valet car traffic on Charles Avenue have fallen onto deaf ears.

ANOTHER QUICK HISTORY LESSON: Across the street from the Stirrup House, are 2 residential lots [D] devoid of residences. They once had residences, of course: 2 cute little Conch-style houses. In the same complicated swap that gave Aries Development a 50-year lease on the Stirrup House, it acquired ownership of these 2 lots. The first thing Aries did was knock the houses down to use as a marshaling yard in order to build The Monstrosity in 2006.

The Monstrosity is the mixed-use, 5-storey condo complex, with 3
restaurants offering valet parking. While it fronts onto Main Highway,
it’s immediately behind the Stirrup House and dwarfs the modest 2-storey structure. While Zyscovich Architects did its best to design a building with a Key West/Bahamian feel, The Monstrosity looks totally out of place and out of scale when viewed from Charles Avenue, designated a Historic Roadway as the first street in Miami.

After these 2 lots were no longer needed to build The Monstrosity, they remained empty and poorly maintained. The property has been cited several times for a lack of upkeep, when the weeds were more than knee-high in some places. I have been told off the record, by someone in the know, that these two lots can NEVER be zoned for anything other than Single Family Residential use. However, the same thing was once said about the E.W.F. Stirrup House before the developer managed to get its zoning flipped to Commercial in anticipation of turning it into a Bed & Breakfast.

In mid-December I got an out-of-breath phone call from Hernandez about new parking shenanigans on Charles Avenue. While we had spoken many times over the last year, she had never phoned me before.

I took these pictures of residential lots [D] being used illegally for overflow
parking on November 8, 2014, long before the December kerfuffle. [There
are several cars parked to the right of this open gate which can’t be seen.]

Coconut Grove Village Council Chair Javier Gonzales may remember
me calling him that evening to suggest popping over to check it out for
himself; one of several times this reporter alerted him to this problem.

Hernandez’s concern was that the two residential lots across the street were ONCE AGAIN being illegally used as overflow
parking to the 45 spaces the valet parking companies rent from the Miami Parking Authority behind the Coconut
Grove Playhouse [E & F]. She described to me how there were some 40 cars parked on these residential lots, with the valets zipping cars in and out, and creating a traffic jam Charles Avenue, a residential street.

What made her even angrier was that when she called the police to complain she was told nothing could be done about it because — get this — the property owner had not complained. However, the property owner, through a complicated series of companies and familial relationships, also owns the valet parking outlets and the restaurants in The Monstrosity. He benefits financially by illegally parking cars on these residential lots. Why would he complain?

That’s when she called me. I told Hernandez to take pics and video. I also advised her to call the police back and ask, if they couldn’t do anything, would they at the very least make a written report so that there was proof a complaint had been made because previous complaints to the city fell upon deaf ears.

To their credit, after her second call Miami Police sent out a higher-up, who actually ordered the lots cleared. That took some 45 minutes and led to the 2nd traffic jam of the night on Charles Avenue.

I also advised Hernandez on a list of people she should send the pictures to come Monday morning, which she did. She then forwarded me the entire email chain generated by her complaint. That’s when I decided to collate my year’s worth of parking research for a Not Now Silly article. However, I needed some questions answered to adequately flesh out any such article. Consequently, I shot out an email to [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff asking 11 pointed questions in order to finish my article.

READ MORE . . . 

PART TWO of ‘The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse quotes my email to [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, his lack of adequate reply, and outlines why the Coconut Grove Playhouse is the Trojan horse for the gigantic Coconut Grove Parking Garage, coming soon to the corner of Main Highway and Charles Avenue.

Another Charles Avenue Bad Neighbour Update

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The empty residential lots are immediately
behind the Charles Avenue Historic Marker.

One of the things the folks who live along Charles Avenue were promised was the valet parking at The Monstrosity would not increase traffic on Charles, designated a Historic Roadway.

Another thing the residents along Charles Avenue were promised is that the two empty lots on the north side of Charles Avenue, across from the E.W.F. Stirrup House (and also controlled by Aries Development) would not be used for parking.

Both of these promises are being broken on a regular basis. Worse still: The residents on Charles Avenue tell this reporter that complaining to the City of Miami has been a waste of their time.

The valets (who — I wish to stress — are innocent freelancers caught in the middle) zip in and out Charles Avenue to get to the lot behind the Coconut Grove Playhouse. Making traffic matters worse, Miami Parking Authority painting an arrow on the ground, directing traffic to an exit on Charles Avenue.

Last night, as the photo on the right depicts, cars were being parked on the empty lot behind the Charles Avenue Historic Marker. This was overflow from the 45 spaces Aries already rents from the Miami Parking Authority behind the Coconut Grove Playhouse.

In addition, I watched a valet park a car in an empty space on the Regions Bank parking lot, where there were 9 other cars parked. It is unknown what arrangements Aries Development has made with Regions Bank, but after my recent dust up with Regions, I may just ask some pointed questions the next time I go in and ask for change for the parking meter.

That all these promises are being broken is important for reasons beyond the additional parking and the traffic problems. I have been assured that the zoning on the two vacant lots across the street from the E.W.F. Stirrup House, on which cars are now being parked, are zoned residential. I’ve been further told that this is the type of zoning that can never be changed. It will always be zoned “single family.”

However, 1). This same official (speaking off the record) who also told me there would never be parking on those residential lots and, if there was, the neighbours should complain [see above]; 2). That’s exactly what everybody said about the E.W.F. Stirrup House, before Aries managed to get the zoning flipped to commercial. Just another example of of how developers get whatever they want in Miami.

TO MAKE A SHORT STORY LONGER: Before Aries Development got its rapacious, grimy hands on these two lots there were cute, little shotgun houses on each. Aries knocked them down to use these lots as a marshaling yard to build The Monstrosity. Later it, apparently defaulted on a loan it had taken out using these lots as collateral. As a result they were sold at auction. However, in a supposedly arm’s-length sale, the property appears to be back under the control of Aries Development. How does that ever happen, except illegally?

Anywho . . . it’s just another example of Aries Development being The Worst Neighbour Ever!!!

Aries Development: Bad Neighbour Or Worst Neighbour Ever?

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Gino Falsetto, the Anti-Midas

I’ve written so many times here about Gino Falsetto, that I should rename this joint The Falsetto Voice. Gino, who ran away from a string of bankrupted restaurants in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, has the Midas touch in reverse. Everything he touches turns to crap.* And now he’s working his special brand of magic on Coconut Grove.

Bad enough that he is allowing the historically designated, 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House to undergo nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect. Now Aries Development (Gino’s front company) is allowing a much more visible property on Main Highway to go to wreck and ruin.

Earlier this year Aries Development was gifted the structure known as the Bicycle Shop on Main Highway at the far side of the Coconut Grove Playhouse parking lot. It was a complicated property swap, told more fully in the posts The Bicycle Shop The Latest In The Cultural Plunder of Coconut Grove and The Coconut Grove Playhouse Deal Begins to Unfold.

TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT: The very first thing Aries Development did was remove the roof of the Bicycle Shop. The very last thing Aries did was remove the roof of the Bicycle Shop.

See the Bicycle Shop? See the roof?

Well, not exactly. At first the Bicycle Shop was left as an open and unsecured construction site. After several complaints to the City of Miami By-Law Enforcement by this reporter, a gate was finally erected, making the construction site as secure as a 6 foot fence allows.

Incidentally, removal of the roof was allegedly done without benefit of a demolition permit, which is how Aries seems get away with a lot of skullduggery.

The Google satellite view at right shows several things. Firstly, it shows how the Bicycle Shop had a roof in the most recent snapshot. It also shows the Coconut Grove Playhouse, the large structure in the middle. Lastly, it shows how close the Bicycle Shop is to the E.W.F. Stirrup House (3242 Charles Avenue), which has been undergoing nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect at the hands of Aries Development. So far the Bicycle Shop has ONLY undergone 10 months of Demolition by Neglect at the hands of Aries Development.

With the Farmers’ Market returning to the Coconut Grove Playhouse parking lot every Thursday, this is the structure that will greet buyers and vendors alike, and they have Gino Falsetto to thank.

Is this merely another case of Gino Falsetto hoping that Demolition by
Neglect will take care of another one of his properties so he doesn’t have to? Is this more of the same indifference to his neighbours that’s been eating
away at the E.W.F. Stirrup House for nearly a decade?

When will Aries’ neighbours finally get angry and make the City of Miami sit up and take notice? When will the City of Miami step in and FORCE Aries development to maintain and upkeep its holdings?

When will Aries Development and Gino Falsetto just do the right and proper thing, as all good neighbours should?

Here are pictures of the current state of the Bicycle Shop, taken November 1, 2014:

* Except for the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums and the restaurants on the ground floor, Calamari, La Bottega, and The Taurus. Those were made a showplace. The E.W.F. Stirrup House and the Bicycle Shop? Not so much.