Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 10, 2013

During the night, while the world slept peacefully, the Not Now Silly interns were set loose on the internet and told not to return until they had collected 22 pounds of headlines, each. Just when they think they are done, they learn they won’t be fed until they’ve culled the night’s catch until only the best remain. Which is why you can now read today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Woman Goes for Jog, Gets Hit by Flying Deer

ANOTHER SKIRMISH IN THE PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS:

Sandy Rios On The War On Christmas: ‘This Is Exactly What Hitler Did In Nazi Germany’

OPTIMISM IS OVER-RATED:

We are deluding ourselves: The apocalypse is coming — and technology can’t save us

FREE THE WEED:

Zeoform: A New Plastic That Turns Hemp Into Almost Anything

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Kentucky Man Sets Gun On Toilet Paper Dispenser
While Using Restroom, Gun Goes Off

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News Reportedly Paid Fired
Exec Millions In “Hush Money”

Forthcoming Gabriel Sherman Book Reportedly
Drove A Wedge In Fox’s Public Relations Team

Book Club: How Fox News Built Its
Scream Machine In The Obama Era

Fox News guest tells female host to quit,
get married, have babies and ‘thank men’

SISTER SARAH:

Sarah Palin to Host Show
on Sportsman Channel

OH! OH!! CANADA!!!

Gold-embossed business cards created for Clement, Hawn against rules: documents

OY VEY, CANADA:

“Superman’s” forgotten Jewish roots

SO GLAD WE ARE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

‘Shockingly racist’ sign about Chiefs,
Redskins brings restaurant apology

Passing for white and straight:
How my looks hide my identity

TODAY IN LGBT NEWS:

Catholic high school teacher fired after applying for same-sex wedding license

GOP Congressman Wants NRCC to
Cut Off Funding for Gay Candidates

Anti-Gay Think Tank: ‘Its Not Bigorty Its Biology’

MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

A Museum Grows On Kercheval; Its Founders
Are Out-Of-Town Artists Who Dig Detroit

After Millions Spent On Repairs, I-94 Is
Dark Again Thanks To Copper Thieves

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKS:

Why Are Upworthy Headlines
Suddenly Everywhere?

My Facebook angst
The social network site kicks up so much anxiety and embarrassment for me. But that doesn’t mean I want to quit it

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

◄◄ D-List Celebrity Death Match ►►
Paris Hilton’s brother blames
Lohan for assault at Miami party

Barron Hilton, 24, says man struck him after
receiving orders to do so from Lindsay Lohan

FROM OUTER SPACE:

Mirrors in Giant Magellan Telescope ready to capture light from dawn of universe

In a “Rainbow” Universe Time
May Have No Beginning

TODAY IN BEATLES NEWS:

In Havana, 95-year-Old Minds Lennon Statue’s Specs

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *