Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 22, 2013

Following yesterday’s insurrection by the Not Now Silly interns, let’s just say you’ll never see or hear from them again. A brand new team of interns were hired, trained, and sent out overnight to collect today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming

LGBT NEWS:

LGBT activist reported missing

In Striking Down Utah’s Gay Marriage
Ban, Judge Gives Scalia Big Bear Hug

When Having Condoms Gets You Arrested

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Wall Street Journal Op-Ed Bemoans The
End Of White Rule In The United States

Barry Diller’s PR Exec Fired After AIDS Tweet Outrage

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Pennsylvania Supreme Court Says It’s Unconstitutional For Gas Companies
to Frack Wherever They Want

THE ROB FORD DEFENSE DIDN’T WORK FOR HIM:

General in Charge of U.S. Nukes Fired for Drunken Escapades in Russia

STING NOWHERE TO BE FOUND:

Message in a bottle found 54 years later in Canadian Arctic

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Colorado school shooting plot by two
teenage students thwarted: cops

RELIGION CORNER:

Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It’s Not Conservative Enough

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ ◄ ◄ I gotcher Rasta Christmas right here!!! ► ► ►

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.