Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, March 9, 2014

Howdy, Headliners. Canadians will gather today in Mel Lastman Square to wax nostalgic on the 81st birthday of former Toronto Mayor and Bad Boy Mel Lastman, who never smoked crack cocaine in a drunken stupour. Mayor Mel is addicted to the Headlines Du Jour from yesteryear:

And now: Today’s Headlines Du Jour:

OUR WIRED WORLD:

Cuba allows phone
access to some email

Soon, Our Robot Coffee Baristas Will Only Brew Certain Brands

GET THE FRACK OUT OF HERE:

HEADLINES IN THE NEWS:

Newspaper Publishes Astoundingly Racist ’12
Years A Slave’ Headline

Los Angeles Times Writes Perfect Headline For John Travolta’s Oscar Fail

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

THE BEST CONGRESS MONEY CAN BUY:

Infographic:
How Money Won Congress

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Woman Dies When Gun Falls Out of Sock And Shoots Her


WHO’S WATCHING THE WATCHERS?

FBI probing alleged
removal of documents
from CIA by Senate staffers

WHO’S WATCHING THE UFO WATCHERS?

The most per capita UFO sightings last year were in Vermont, Arizona and Maine

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Fox Hypes Christie
“Comeback” Amid Ongoing
Bridge Scandal Investigations

Fox Reporter A No-Show For Breitbart News Benghazi Conspiracy Panel

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

O’Reilly: The Only Place
America Is Not In Decline
Is The Sport Of Luge

According To Bill, 50 Percent Of Americans Don’t Care About Nation’s Decline Because “They Want The Nanny State”

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

Climate buffoons’ real
motives: 5 reasons they
still spout debunked garbage

From greed to idiocy, here’s the true agenda of deniers who still claim climate change isn’t happening

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Fake Arrests of Ohio Ministers Designed to Sell Christian Persecution Myth

Zmuda lawsuit may set statewide precedent

LOOK! UP IN THE SKY:

Judge dismisses FAA fine
against small drone user

FREE THE WEED!!!

Could Tennessee be next to legalize marijuana?

A WOMAN SCORNED:

Woman Posted Explicit
Material Inside Walmart

Cops: Suspect targeted employee over year-long affair with husband

VIDEO DU JOUR:


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About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.