Each morning I sit by the open window waiting. I wait for the return of the Not Now Silly interns, who are both the hunters and the gatherers of this operation. The NNS interns have spent the entire night reconnoitering the innertubes and foraging for nothing but the best and most succulent headlines. They are picked at the exact moment of ripeness and brought back to me for inspection. I take these proto-headlines, check them for bugs, put them through a patented homogenization process, and VOILA! Today’s Headlines Du Jour.
PUT THIS ON PAY-PER-VIEW SETTLE THE NATIONAL DEBT:
McCain To Reid: ‘I’m Going To Kick The Crap Out Of You’
The Great American Class War: Plutocracy Versus Democracy
I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:
Arizona Woman Gets Punched for Saying
‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘Merry Christmas’
BBC interviews random man on the
street who turns out to be the Fonz
SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:
Scientists cut million-year natural process to convert algae into crude oil to about an hour
Fossil turns back the human hands
of time for tool use 500,000 years
LGBT NEWS:
Lawsuit: Mississippi school forced
‘pathetic dyke’ to use the boys’ bathroom
America’s Oldest Gay Rights Magazine Picks Pope Francis as Person of Year
◄ ◄ ◄ REMOVING THE ‘NASTY’ FROM DUCK DYNASTY ► ► ►
‘Duck Dynasty’s’ Phil Robertson suspended for comments about gays ◄ ◄ ◄ EARLIER ► ► ► Duck Dynasty Dad: Growing Up In Louisiana ‘I |
Gun activists have a new craze —
and it’s more dangerous than you think
The new front line in the battle over gun rights is “open carry.” Here’s why it has psychologists deeply concerned
HYPOCRITE CORNER:
Watch: Marco Rubio is Confronted for Accepting $10k Obamacare Subsidy
Johnny Dollar ► Hypocrite ► UPDATED!
CRACK MAYOR CORNER:
Reporter Daniel Dale drops libel suit
after Mayor Rob Ford apologizes again
Dale has agreed to not continue his lawsuit against the mayor after
a second, more complete, public apology was issued Wednesday.
N.Y. cop’s anti-Obama Facebook rant: ‘Go die in a shallow grave you Muslim commie’
FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:
‘Where’s Hoda?!’ Shep Smith Gets Hilariously
Distracted by Dana Perino’s Facebook Page
THAT’LL TEACH HIM!!!
German town revokes Hitler’s citizenship
LOVE CONQUERS ALL:
PLATE TECHTONICS IS COMPLICATED:
The world’s newest island, Niijima
VIDEO DU JOUR:
THIS REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN 3D:
Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.