Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, December 26, 2013

With baby Jesus’ birthday over, the world holds its collective breath until New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. Meanwhile, the new Not Now Silly headline robots are working out perfectly. No more work stoppages; no more complaints. So, get ready for today’s Headlines Du Jour. 

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Man charged with stealing handcuffs he
was wearing in escape from police cruiser

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Father Shoots And Kills 14-Year-Old Daughter, Saying He Mistook Her For Burglar

QUACKER CORNER:

Duck Dynasty empire estimated to be worth $500 million U.S.

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Officers’ sobriety stop yields more than beer
A routine traffic stop took a bizarre turn when the driver told law enforcement
officers, “I don’t want to freak you out, but I have someone in the trunk.”

FREE THE WEED!!!

Brown pardons mostly
target drug offenders

SCIENCE CORNER:

New artificial muscle
promises super strength

FROM OUTER SPACE:

NASA celebrates anniversary of the
most important photo ever taken

WAIT!!! WHAT???

Illinois man uses ‘Star Trek’ technology to defraud investors of $25 million

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON:

Girlfriend transports man shot in stolen Christmas
present dispute to hospital in stolen truck

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

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