Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, November 21, 2013

Overnight, while you were sleeping, the Not Now Silly interns went into the back alleys and speakeasies of the urban internet. Meanwhile, trained coyotes swept the rural precincts. The task: Come back with today’s Headlines Du Jour, or don’t come back at all. We now have openings for new interns. Meanwhile, here are the headlines.

TODAY IN WINGNUTTIA:

► Clearly I’m going to hell . . . Twice ◄

TODAY IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:


► They can’t claim him, so they’ll dis his party instead ◄

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:

A sociologist interrogates the criminal-justice system, and tries to stay out of the spotlight.

As part of the Global War on Terror, the US has exported its border patrol model to the Caribbean.

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

CANADIAN DRUG CORNER:


► You can’t make this shit up ►

CANADIAN BULLY CORNER:

SPHINCTER DU JOUR:

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:

Once in a lifetime galactic fireworks display due from Comet Ison
Comet Ison, first spotted a year ago, is now visible to the naked
eye and will continue to brighten as it hurtles toward the sun

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Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

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