Overnight, while you were sleeping, the Not Now Silly interns went into the back alleys and speakeasies of the urban internet. Meanwhile, trained coyotes swept the rural precincts. The task: Come back with today’s Headlines Du Jour, or don’t come back at all. We now have openings for new interns. Meanwhile, here are the headlines.
TODAY IN WINGNUTTIA:
TODAY IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:
► They can’t claim him, so they’ll dis his party instead ◄
TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:
TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:
CANADIAN DRUG CORNER:
► You can’t make this shit up ►
CANADIAN BULLY CORNER:
SPHINCTER DU JOUR:
NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:
Once in a lifetime galactic fireworks display due from Comet Ison
Comet Ison, first spotted a year ago, is now visible to the naked
eye and will continue to brighten as it hurtles toward the sun
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Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.