Tag Archives: Art Noriega

The Parking Garage Is The Thing

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LONG STORY SHORT: The City of Miami’s Historic and Environmental Preservation Board [HEP Board to Miami hep cats] voted 4-1 Tuesday to raze the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse in order to preserve its historic façade.

Confused yet? Not as confused as everyone was when it was revealed — but only near the very end of the meeting — that the HEP Board was merely approving the “concept only” of demolishing the historic theater, and not any of the myriad drawings, plans, and designs that were shown during the evening in order to sell the development project to the taxpayers of Miami. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

LONG STORY LONGER: I’ve seen a lot of Dog & Pony shows at Miami City Hall, but this one takes the cake.

As they always do, this one went on for several hours. First the developers (save one, which we’ll get to in a eventually) got to give several PowerPoint presentations that seemingly went on for 3 days (especially for me because this is the same Road Show that I attended at Ransom Everglades a couple of months back. It seemed to have only gotten longer since then).

One PowerPoint gave the entire history of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, from its inception as a movie theater 90 years ago, through its several renovations in the year since. Due deference was given to original designer Richard Kiehnel, of the famed Kiehnel and Elliott architectural firm, and Alfred Browning Parker, the ’50s “Miami Modernist”, who designed the live theater that was applied over Kiehnel’s Mediterranean-inspired design.

The Bright Plan

QUICK HISTORY LESSON: Before the (older) Coconut Grove was illegally annexed in 1925 by (the upstart) Miami, it ruled its own destiny.

The Movers & Shakers of Coconut Grove had big plans for paradise. To that end they hired Philadelphia architect John Irwin Bright, who came up with The Bright Plan, an ambitious redesign of downtown Coconut Grove. The new city hall (near where CocoWalk ended up) would have faced Biscayne Bay, with a large reflecting pool that ran down what became Macfarlane. This grand plan, which was never realized, was based upon Mediterranean architecture. While it didn’t come to fruition, one building from that plan was actually built. The Coconut Grove Theater opened in January of 1927 and was given a Mediterranean feel to match that of The Bright Plan. The rest is history.

The Dog & Pony Show descends into farce

We were led to believe — by those who were arguing for the theater’s ultimate demolition — that all the additions, subtractions, and renovations to Kiehnel’s original sublime movie house were, at best, architectural abominations and, at worst, an act of barbarism against humanity. [I might be exaggerating. Slightly.]

Next up on the double bill was the PowerPoint showing the current plans for the site’s footprint. We were shown drawings, elevations, blueprints, and artists’ renderings of the finished project in situ. During the presentation we were given enough facts and figures, to confuse anybody trying to pay attention. That PowerPoint lasted for at least a week. [I might be exaggerating. Slightly.]

The parking garage, that gigantic thing in the middle
of the development, dwarfs the rest of the project

However, none of that yakkity yak yak mattered in the final analysis because it was revealed right at the very end of the meeting — after all the PowerPoint presentations, after all the public input, and after all the developers had a chance for rebuttal — that:

  • 1). The drawings and the PowerPoint presentation we were just shown had already been supplanted by another — newer — set of drawings and blueprints that no one had seen yet, including the HEP Board;
  • 2). But, that didn’t even matter because the only thing being asked of the HEP Board that night was to give the developers an Up or Down vote to the “concept” of demolishing the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse, as opposed to approving the actual plans of buildings we just spent an eternity viewing. Each building, and every subsequent change, will have to come back before HEP for approval.

WAIT! WHAT?

I actually gasped when I realized the Dog & Pony Show had become a Bait & Switch.

I had driven in from Sunrise, to spend hours in a room colder than a meat locker, in order to listen to a developer’s pitch that I’d already heard before. I was frustrated to learn that the citizens of Miami had been given, in essence, fake news.

There was nothing taxpayers could say about it at that point because PUBLIC COMMENTS were already closed. The only people who could speak to that was the HEB Board members and they seemed disinclined to inquire why everybody’s time was wasted. I quickly texted one of my super duper, secret, anonymous sources, who seemed pretty gleeful at this turn of events:

ME: No real fireworks. The plan might not be approved. There’s no motion on the table yet.
SECRET SOURCE: I’m watching this [from home] and this is nuts… they are idiots. Now they [HEP Board] get the reso.

BTW: This startling info only came out after some probing questions posed by Lynn Lewis, the only HEP Board member to eventually vote NO to this plan to raze history in order to preserve history. She was trying to get to the bottom of some questions she had in determining whether she would table a motion to reject the plan.

That’s right, folks. It was only in the minutes just before a motion was put on the table, right near the end of a very long meeting, that the HEP Board realized what was really being voted on. Even I was fooled by what I had witnessed.

Lewis finally crafted a motion that rejected the plan and called for the developers to return with more concrete plans. She didn’t get a second and the motion withered on the dais. A motion to approve the plan “in concept only” was tabled and passed 4-1.

In the end, and is always the case in Miami, the developers got exactly what they wanted and needed.

A drawing of the 5 story, 513 slot, parking garage, which is now out of date. Not Now Silly has been told it’s already been reduced in size. However, I have been unable to get the current height or the amount of parking spaces.

The Parking Garage is the thing

As I mentioned above, one developer didn’t show themselves. That’s not exactly true. What is more accurate to say is that Art Noriega, Miami Parking Authority’s CEO, never gave a presentation. This despite the fact that the massive parking garage is one of the primary drivers of a lot of the decisions that have been made along the way.

However, I saw Noriega several times during the meeting peaking out from behind the dais. At various times he was on either side of the room or the other, lurking behind all the other city swells there to service the meeting (like city lawyers and such, who could answer legal questions if they came up). I’m sure if he had been needed, Noriega might have been called upon to answer any questions that came up. However, the huge, honking, parking garage was less a bone of contention than it deserved to be.

A mere 25 months ago, after I saw the first artistic drawings that a source had leaked me, I published The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse (Part I; Part II). These articles suggest that it’s the parking garage driving the theater redevelopment and not the other way around.

Nothing I heard on Tuesday changed my mind. In fact, the project seems to have morphed from a mere 5-story parking garage into a condo and restaurant development with a parking garage and small theater attached.

TO BE FAIR: There’s no denying that parking is sorely needed in that area, something I’ve written about previously after sitting in that parking lot for hours on end counting cars. Furthermore, continued development will make that need more dire. Immediately to the north of the Playhouse footprint is a plan for a 4-story office building fronting on Main Highway, which will probably have restaurants on the ground floor. [See rendering above.] Additionally, Ransom Everglades private school, just south of the Playhouse on the east side of Main Highway, is bursting its parking lots at the seams. Then consider that all those valets in front of the restaurants along Commodore Plaza (working for tips only) are desperate for nearby places to stash cars.

Not Now Silly has published stories about all these parking issues previously.

However, what was once a parking garage development project, with its 300-seat theater afterthought, will now also have residential condos, retail shops, and a restaurant.

Because there’s now a lot of misinformation swirling after the Dog & Pony Show Bait & Switch, I have been trying to get the definitive answers to the following questions:

  1. How many floors tall is the parking garage? [I’ve already been told it’s been downsized from 5, but have been cautioned not to say “4”.]
  2. How many parking spaces will be in the parking garage? [Downsized from 513.]
  3. How many residential condos are in the current development plans? [A crazy number I heard was 30, but that was when the garage was 5 stories.]
  4. How many of those are FOR SALE? [All of them I’ve been told off the record.]
  5. How many residential units are being created for visiting directors and actors at the theater? [This may no longer be part of the plan, or they may be in the front building, the only portion being saved.]
  6. How large is the restaurant? How many seats?
  7. How many retail stores will be in the front of the building? [The only portion being saved.]

There are a lot of unanswered questions and this massive development project never should have been passed without the HEP Board having more answers.

This is the only part of the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse that will be saved. It’s the narrow, sliver of the building on either sides of entrance, that brackets the corner of Charles Avenue and Main Highway. It will have retail spaces.

A 300 seat theater? You’re joking, right?

Miami is supposed to be a World Class City. What’s World Class about a theater that’s smaller than the auditoriums of several of the local schools?

Where’s the room for growth in a 300-seat theater?

GableStage, the company that will take over programming at the Coconut Grove Playhouse, currently operates in a 150-seat theater. It has the potential to double its audience. However, where does it go from there?

A 300-seat theater is not large enough to bring in touring musicians, who might be booked for nights the theater is dark. A 300-seat theater is not large enough to be rented out of community events when the theater is dark. As mentioned, the local school auditoriums are slightly larger.

People who are arguing for this configuration tell me Miami can’t support a bigger theater. That there are already large theaters in Miami that don’t sell out.

Detractors at the meeting kept reminding the citizens that the Playhouse failed as a much larger theater. However, a number of factors could have led to the Playhouse’s demise, from bad publicity, to the wrong kind of shows, to bad scheduling.

I contend that if you put on the right shows — including musical artists on nights when the stage is dark — you’ll draw clientele.

However, if you build a 300 seat theater, you’ll never draw more than that. This is nothing but small time, small town, small thinking.

This plan shows a second theater off the main theater.

TO BE FAIR: There is a plan to build a second theater on the same footprint that has 700 seats, in addition to the 300-seat room already passed “in concept”.

However, the 700-seat theater is unfunded. Getting the $40 million to build it is considered a long shot, at best, and will probably never be built.

It’s been my contention all along that a 300 seat theater is small time, small town, small thinking.

COMING SOON TO NOT NOW SILLY

How Will the Playhouse Redevelopment Hurt West Grove?

Why the Miami Parking Authority is too powerful

Playhouse Parking Problems Proliferate

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Coconut Grove Playhouse panorama

As I told my newest BFF, Art Noriega, CEO of the Miami Parking Authority, I don’t go to Miami to find problems with his parking lots. That just seems to happen whenever I go to Coconut Grove.

As you may remember from our last exciting epsiode, EXCLUSIVE: Are Valet Companies Stealing From Miami Taxpayers?, I reported how Paradise Parking was illegally parking cars on the Playhouse Parking Lot, contrary to its agreement with the City of Miami. Paradise Parking rents 45 spaces from the Miami Parking Authority at $6.00 per space per day, but those spaces are immediately behind the Playhouse, not the main MPA parking lot to the north of the building.

Copy of Art Noriega’s letter

When I reported this skulduggery to the Miami Parking Authority, Art Noriega jumped into action and sent out this letter, which reads in part:

May 7, 2015

Dear Mr. Radrizzani:

This letter is to follow up on our conversation with Mr. Victor Rosario (Senior Manager of Operations) on Monday May 4, 2015 in regards to Paradise Parking valet staff parking vehicles outside of the designated area at the Playhouse Lot. As explained in the conversation, this conduct or practice will not be tolerated and Paradise Parking staff needs to adhere to the current policies effective immediately.

If for any reason this or any other issue occurs, the current agreement will be terminated immediately.

[…]
 
Art Noriega,
Chief Executive Officer

Some of the 25 spaces reserved for valet parking on June 6

Just a month later, on June 6, I parked in the Playhouse Parking lot again. Ostensibly, I was attending another Coconut Grove Drum Circle, but I couldn’t help notice that the entire middle section of the Playhouse parking lot was cordoned off with caution tape and reserved for valet parking.

Because this seemed contrary to my understanding of the parking lot rules and the letter of understanding, I spoke to the security guard on duty, who knew he was talking to a reporter. Lionel Pichel, of Security Alliance, told me that the spaces had been rented for use by valets for MAC Parking, a Florida company with headquarters in North Miami. It was his understanding the spaces were reserved for a private party at a private residence on the east side of Main Highway. However, that’s as far as his information went.

An interesting thing happened while I was standing there talking to him. Twice valets from Paradise Parking, who confirmed to me later they were working an event at the Cruz Building on Commodore Plaza, pulled in wanting to use the spaces reserved for MAC Parking. Pichel told them the spaces were reserved for someone else and they drove off, to park behind the Playhouse. I’m not sure if an attempt to park where they’re not allowed would vitiate the contract with the Miami Parking Authority, but “If for any reason this or any other issue occurs, the current agreement will be terminated immediately” seems pretty all-encompassing. Pichel told me that the valets always try to park in the
main lot and they always have to be chased away. He said he was glad I had already confirmed the rules to him.

These spaces were empty all night long.

Shrugging my shoulders, I went off on my merry way, first to dinner and then to the drum circle, which is right across the street from the Playhouse parking lot. Before hitting the drum circle, I returned to the parking lot to get my stuff out of my trunk. I couldn’t help but notice that every space reserved for valet parking was still empty.

I talked to Mr. Pichel again. He was surprised the valets hadn’t arrived yet and told me that I should be seeing guys with white shirts running around soon. However, all night long I kept popping back over to see whether anyone had parked in these spaces reserved for MAC Parking. Eventually all the other spaces in the lot were occupied and, just like in May, customers would pull into the lot, find no available spaces, and leave again. Yet, the center core of the parking lot, 25 spaces in all, remained empty.

I didn’t stay overnight, but when I left at 11 PM these spaces were still unoccupied. Subsequent research informs me they were empty all night.

The MPA confirmed that MAC Parking rented 25 parking spaces, at $10 per. However, that was THE PREVIOUS WEEKEND, not on June 6th. That means there was an internal communications SNAFU that cost the city of Miami an untold number of dollars on Saturday night. Because it was FAM Night in the Grove, every one of those 25 spaces would have been filled. Furthermore, who knows how many times each would have been turned over during the course of the night?

I’m told that the MPA people who messed up will be dealt with. However, as a result of my initial inquiries, the MPA said it will no longer rent spaces for valet parking in the main Playhouse parking lot after the end of June.

However, that’s only one problem solved. I filed a Freedom of Information request to learn the name of MAC Parking’s client, the person (or company) who had the juice to reserve public facilities for a private function. However, I have been told that the MPA has no way to compel MAC Parking to reveal the name of its client as it is a private company not subject to Florida’s Sunshine Laws.

I have suggested that this is a serious gap in the information the MPA collects on behalf of the public it serves. It’s more important to know who is using taxpayer facilities than who contracted for said facilities. The argument I made was, “What if my name is Al Capone and I hired a valet company to park the cars of all my mobster friends? Should I be able to hide behind a 3rd party private contractor?” In essence, I was told, yes. As long as the parking spaces are being used for lawful purposes, the city has no interest in who contracted MAC Parking to use public facilities. I told the MPA that we’ll have to agree to disagree, while I investigate that aspect of the FOIA act a bit further, because that just don’t sound right to me.

Meanwhile, there is still the issue of valet parking traffic on Charles Avenue, which was one of those 11 questions I asked of [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, on December 19th of last year. Sarnoff refused to answer my two attempts to get a reply, punting to the Miami Parking Authority instead, even though some of those questions were outside of the MPA’s bailiwick. Here’s a question [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff never answered:

2). When neighbours complained previously that the 45 valet parking spots rented from the MPA would bring additional traffic, they were assured there would be no additional traffic on Charles Avenue as a result. This is clearly false. Why has this been allowed to continue for the past year despite occasional complaints by the neighbours?

Read: The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part II for the full list of questions that [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff refused to answer on behalf of his constituents. Then join ABT – Anybody But Teresa, the facebook page that openly scoffs at the notion that [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff is trying to get his wife annoited in his seat after he’s been term-limited out on his ass.

On Saturday night I happened to run into a resident from Charles Avenue, someone with whom I’ve spoken to previously about the parking fiasco. When I explained that the Paradise Parking valets are now forced to go in and out using Charles Avenue, they reminded me the City of Miami promised that that wouldn’t happen. I reminded them that I was told by the city that the residents should be happy that it’s less traffic than when the Playhouse was open, which is hardly the point.

I have a fix for this problem if the MPA is willing to listen, and from what I know of Art Noriega, he will. Whether he acts upon it is another story, but it would solve several problems. If I were the Parking Czar, here’s what I’d do:

1). Allow the parking valets in and out privileges on Lot 6, the main Playhouse Parking Lot, as long as they don’t park there;
2). Where I’ve drawn a yellow line is a white arrow painted on the ground. Paint over it;
3). At the yellow line place a sign that says Valet Parking Only, just like the sign currently on Charles Avenue, and allow the valets to use this for parking cars;
4). Where I’ve drawn a red line is a gate to Charles Avenue where the Valet Parking Only sign is. It used to be closed and locked before the MPA rented the space to Paradise Parking. It should be closed and locked again.

VOILA!!! 

 The valet traffic on Charles Avenue is reduced drastically. Both the valets at the Cruz Building and the restaurants on the ground floor of the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums can use the Main Highway entrance and exit..

Then, if not for the valets racing in and out of the Regions Bank parking lot, there would be no valet traffic on Charles Avenue at all. However, Aries Development has contracted with Regions Bank to use this parking lot when the bank is closed, regardless of how dangerous it is to have valets zipping in and out where families walk.

EXCLUSIVE: Are Valet Companies Stealing From Miami Taxpayers?

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The area surrounding the
Coconut Grove Playhouse
[Click map to enlarge]
LEGEND:


A). Grove Gardens Condominiums;
aka The Monstrosity;
B). Regions Bank;
C). The E.W.F. Stirrup House;
D). Zoned residential lots, used
for illegal parking;
E). Part of the 45 parking spaces
leased for Valet Parking;
F). Blue Star Drive In & remaining 45
spaces leased to Valet parking;
G). Playhouse Parking Lot
operated by the MPA;
H). Unlocked gate directing traffic
onto William and Thomas Streets
and location of arrow directing cars
to exit onto Charles Avenue;
I). Main entrance/exit for main
Playhouse parking lot;
J). The Bicycle Shop;
K). The Barnacle, now a State Park,
once belonged to Commodore Ralph
Monroe, a contemporary of E.W.F.
Stirrup;
L). Rich people in gated enclaves;
M). Far less well off people in West
Grove, which has remained
predominately Black and depressed
during the last 125 years;
N). Commodore Plaza, named after
Ralph Monroe, is lined with pricy
eateries and more expensive art
galleries, meant for people with
more disposable income than
those on the surrounding blocks.

A year-long investigation by the Not Now Silly Newsroom has uncovered a situation in which valet parking companies continue to rip off City of Miami taxpayers for an untold numbers of dollars.

Last year, when Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring untangled the Gordian knot of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, several pieces of that complex puzzle were the various parking lots surrounding the Playhouse. Paradise Parking was kicked off the main parking lot [G on map to the left] — after having squatted on it for several years — in exchange for an arrangement where it rents 45 parking spaces from the MPA, at $6 a day per, immediately behind the Playhouse in lots [E] and [F].

It never occurred to me when I went into journalism that I’d be sitting in parking lots noting the movements of cars and valets, but that’s part of what I’ve been doing for the last year. That surveillance led to several articles. After my last series of parking lot stories, a gate at the west end of the Coconut Grove Playhouse parking lot was ordered locked. It turned out the valets on Commodore Plaza had demanded it be left open on busy Friday and Saturday nights in order to make their job easier.

However — and this is crucial — the valet companies don’t run the parking lots, nor the city for that matter. They just think they do. That’s why they run roughshod over West Grove, caring little about the agreements they’ve already made. They are playing the city for chumps and stealing money from taxpayers.

[For more on these Coconut Grove parking problems, and so I don’t have to repeat myself, please read: The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part I • Part II • A Playhouse Trojan Horse Update.]

Which brings us to the evening of Saturday, May 2nd. There was a big event at the Cruz Building on Commodore Plaza [N], one street over from the Playhouse parking lot. (The Cruz Building, rumoured to have been built with cocaine money in Miami’s Go-Go 80s, is rented out for weddings or bar mitzvahs and the like.) Saturday’s event must have been bigger-than-average because the single block of Commodore Plaza was bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go traffic in both directions, with an officer directing traffic directly in front of the Cruz building. Many parking valets were taking cars from the swells and zipping off somewhere, as the security officer held up traffic for them.

That got my journalistic senses tingling. Where were the cars going?

The last time I heard of a big affair at the Cruz building, the valets were illegally parking cars on the 2 residential lots [D] on Charles Avenue, immediately across the street from the E.W.F. Stirrup House [C]. The neighbours called the Not Now Silly Newsroom, which led to this reporter asking 11 questions of [allegedly] corrupt Miami District 2 Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff. He refused to answer any of them and punted them to the Miami Parking Authority. After waiting 2 months, I finally got answers to those questions that fell within the MPA’s bailiwick; not all did, so there are several questions outstanding.

On May 2nd, after some surveillance at 6:30 PM, I discovered the valets were taking cars from the Cruz Building and parking them in the MPA lot, which is not a part of the 45 spaces rented from the MPA. Eventually, by 9PM, the MPA lot was filled with cars, many of which were parked by valets. Private citizens would pull into the parking lot, drive around the small circle and, finding no parking spaces, would leave. Every car that left without finding a parking space was money taken out of the Miami taxpayer’s pocket by the valet parking companies.

This is more egregious than it sounds for 2 reasons:

  • The citizens were behaving better than the valets, who stuck their Cruz Building cars anywhere they’d fit, whether there were lines on the ground, or not;
  • At 9PM, parking lot [F], which is rented from the MPA was 100% empty, while parking lot [E], also rented, had only 8 cars in it.

[As a side issue: The Regions Bank parking lot, [B] had 18 cars in it, more than I’ve ever counted before. I have communicated with Regions Bank only to learn it has sanctioned this valet parking arrangement. The bank cited — GET THIS!!! — how it’s a convenient arrangements for their own customers because it allows them to drive right up to the night deposit. However, Regions better hope their customers are driving skateboards, because that’s all that will really fit.]

In short: The valets fill up every surrounding parking lot first, before they start filling up their own.  They’re playing the city and Regions Bank for chumps and stealing money from the taxpayer.

When I told this story to Art Noriega, head of the Miami Parking Authority, he hit the roof on Monday morning. Can’t wait for my follow-up interview with him.

Let’s tie all this up with a pretty little bow for people who need to have their noses rubbed in the corruption before they actually see it.

Because:

  • The valet companies are connected to Gino Falsetto through Andrew Falsetto at Paradise Parking;
  • Gino Falsetto owns Aries Management & Development LLC;
  • Aries has a 50-year lease on the E.W.F. Stirrup House, the 2nd oldest house in Coconut Grove, designated historic, but currently undergoing nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect;
  • Aries owns the Bicycle Shop (through another company), which was the subject of Is Aries Development Coconut Grove’s Biggest Scofflaw? and Follow Up to ” Is Aries Development Coconut Grove’s Biggest Scofflaw?”, earlier this week;
  • Aries, through other companies, owns the 2 vacant residential lots across the street from the Stirrup House, which had a cute little West Grove shotgun-and conch-style house on each before they were razed;
  • Aries torpedoed several plans over the years to reopen the Coconut Grove Playhouse, allowing further Demolition by Neglect of that venerated structure that the community is still trying to save;
  • Finally, Aries built the Grove Gardens Resident Condominiums, aka The Monstrosity, which set a new precedent for higher density structures in West Grove;

Is it not obvious to the Powers That Be that a single entity is responsible for most of the deterioration of the area immediately surrounding the Main Highway and Charles Avenue, which has been designated a Historic Roadway?

How does Gino Falsetto get away with all of this right under everybody’s collective noses? More to the point: Am I the only one watching?

A Playhouse Trojan Horse Update

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These are the arrows in Question 3. I’m not sure
why they were blocked off this way yesterday.

Last week I received a call from the executive assistant of Art Noriega, CEO of the Miami Parking Authority. Because it began with a fulsome apology for not answering my email [See: The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse; Part II], I was willing to listen. 

Mr. Noriega wanted to have a meeting at my convenience to discuss my email. I suggested Wednesday [yesterday] and, instead of meeting at his office, we meet at the Playhouse Parking lot. He was more than willing. In the exchange of emails confirming our meeting, I made one last demand: that he still answer my email. That way we could have a conversation, as opposed to a grilling, and get to better understand each other and the issues. He was more than willing to do that, as well.

Here is Mr. Noriega’s replies to the questions that applied to the Miami Parking Authority, followed by those [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff has refused to answer:

Feb 17
Headly,

In anticipation of our meeting tomorrow, here is our response to your original e-mail. Really looking forward to a lively discussion.

[…] 2). When neighbours complained previously that the 45 valet parking spots rented from the MPA would bring additional traffic, they were assured there would be no additional traffic on Charles Avenue as a result. This is clearly false. Why has this been allowed to continue for the past year despite occasional complaints by the neighbours?

The MPA was not made aware of any complaints. The valet has been operating for quite some time. If there were complaints, they haven’t come to us.

3). If there was to be no additional traffic on Charles Avenue then why did the MPA, when it resurfaced the Main Street parking lot, paint a giant arrow on the ground immediately BEHIND the Playhouse directing cars to exit onto Charles Avenue?

The arrows were placed to add clarity to the ingress and egress of traffic through that area.  The traffic, to our understanding, always flowed that way even before MPA took over the management.

4). Some of these 45 spots rented from the MPA are now being used several days a week as a drive-in movie theater. How is this being done?

MPA entered into an agreement with Miami Dade County to allow this drive-in theater to operate in that section of the lot, Mon-Thurs Nights. Is there a sub-lease? Yes A contract? Yes A gentleman’s agreement? Is the MPA involved? Yes

5). What permits were needed to run a drive-in theater in that parking lot?

Blue Star Lite is the company running the drive-in theater and they pulled all the necessary permits from the city of Miami.  What are the insurance requirements and who is paying for it? The insurance requirements are detailed in the contract and is paid for by Blue Star Lite and are approved by the city of Miami risk management department.

6). When these 45 spaces are full of cars and/or drive-in movie patrons, where does the overflow parking go now that the gate on the residential lot has been locked again? [It’s been locked and unlocked as needed for overflow parking until now.]

Overflow is directed to the front portion of the lot located adjacent to Main Highway.

7). At the far west end of the MPA parking lot on Main Highway there is a chain-link fence with a double-gate that feeds onto William Avenue. Why is this gate locked most daylight hours, but quietly unlocked and left wide open on busy nights in Coconut Grove, when the Playhouse parking lot is full?

The gate should be closed at all times.  We have addressed with our security to ensure this is indeed the case.  It should not be open at any time.

8). What will the City of Miami do about monitoring these valet parking infractions going forward?

MPA monitors all valet companies working on the public right of way. Any  Valet companies working in or on private property are monitored by the city of Miami code enforcement division.

9). What will the City of Miami do to reduce all the added traffic these parking lots have caused on Charles and William Avenues?

This question needs to be addressed by City of Miami transportation division. The traffic flow there now is much lower than it was when the Playhouse was operational.

[…]

Regards,
Art

Art Noriega
Chief Executive Officer
Miami Parking Authority

Just to remind readers, here are the questions [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff has refused to answer, merely replying that the resident who complained had her complaint satistfied in 2 business days. 

 1). Why did Charles Avenue resident Cynthia Hernandez have to insist that the police do something after they first tried to tell her that there was nothing they could do since the property owner hadn’t made a complaint?

[To their credit, but only after additional phone calls, the police finally ordered the residential lot to be emptied of cars; a process, I am told, that took 45 minutes and created the 2nd traffic jam of the night on Charles Avenue. The first was filling the empty lot with some 40-50 cars in the first place.]

[…] 10). Considering Gino Falsetto is one of the owners of Aries; and considering he also has financial interests in the empty residential lot being used for the last year as overflow parking to the 45 spaces rented from the MPA; and considering he is also part owner of Paradise Parking; and considering it’s his 3 restaurants that use the valet parking; and considering that his brother Andrew Falsetto is a part of South Park, the company that took the fall for Friday night’s parking fiasco; isn’t all this circular finger-pointing just a little too convenient for everyone to duck responsibility by blaming this ongoing situation as a one-time event?

The E.W.F. Stirrup House on February 18, 2015
after nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect.

11). And, most important of all: Considering all I have uncovered and written about Gino Falsetto’s shenanigans — his Demolition by Neglect of the 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House; the destruction of the old trees on that property without the proper plans and permits; the interior demolition of the E.W.F. Stirrup House without permit or historic plan on file; the destruction of the wall that separated La Bottega from the current construction zone of the E.W.F. Stirrup lot without the proper permits; the removing the roof of the Bicycle Shop without a demolition permit; his alleged squatting on the Playhouse parking lot for several years; etc., so forth, and so on — isn’t it time that Falsetto, and the series of companies he hides behind, are held responsible for the downgrading of the quality of life of your West Grove constituents who live around his fiefdom?

The residents on Charles Avenue may be gratified to learn that Art Noriega suggests they call Miami Code Enforcement for any further valet parking shenanigans and they’ll take care of it, especially now that he’s on the case.

The Charles Avenue Historic Marker is right across
the street from the E.W.F. Stirrup House and immediate
behind the Coconut Grove Playhouse. Any restoration that
doesn’t pay attention to this rich history is an insult to the
Black folk that have lived in the West Grove for generations.

I didn’t bother to ask Noriega any questions about the Blue Star-Lite Drive-In because it will be kicked to the curb, literally, when — and if —  the Coconut Grove Playhouse becomes a construction zone. However, Norienga did mention, in an off-hand way, that all the valet parking companies sharing these lots will be in trouble when — and if — the Coconut Grove Playhouse becomes a construction zone.

My sense of Art Noriega is that he’s a nice guy with a difficult job. He has to balance Miami’s need for more and more parking spaces with a sensitivity to neighbourhoods, traffic patterns, and culture. I did my usual sales job on him about the rich cultural history of West Grove. I think I impressed him with my sincerity. More to the point: I hope I made him understand that what was being ignored in all this talk of a revival for the Coconut Grove Playhouse is the neighbourhood immediately behind it.

Noriega seemed genuinely pained when he spoke of the Coconut Grove Playhouse being dark for all these years. The way he described it, back in the day, made it sound as if The Playhouse was the stable cultural center of a swirling art scene that encompassed the entire Grove. He contends its shuttering created a black hole for businesses throughout that entire south end of downtown Coconut Grove, from which Commodore Plaza is only just recovering.

Noriega also said that any talk of how many parking spaces will be needed [200-300 is what I’ve heard] on the Playhouse footprint is premature. They still don’t know how much of the building can be saved, if any, how big the theater will be, and whether there will be one theater or two, as a recently floated plan suggests.

He seems genuinely concerned to see that forward progress continues on the Playhouse Renovation/Revival. His biggest fear seems to be that the State of Florida (which owns the land) gets tired of waiting for something to happen and sells the land, as it has always had the power to do once the Playhouse board went bankrupt.

It’s been a year since Miami-Dade Cultural Czar Michael Spring cut all the deals that allowed the Playhouse Renovation to go ahead. Since then, and only recently, Arquitectonica was chosen to oversee the project. How long will Florida wait for plans to arrive on a builder’s drawing board is anybody’s guess, but it certainly won’t be forever.