Tag Archives: Coconut Grove Politics

Grove Harbor ► No Skin In The Game

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When I think of seashore I don’t think of chrome and glass superstructures.

A faithful reader has written [privately] to ask that I get involved in the latest Coconut Grove controversy, Grove Harbor * [sic], or Grove Horror as some of the locals have taken to calling it. To that end, I spent about 2 hours reading up on the project, both pro & con, but mostly con because there seems to be more of that ‘out there’ on the innertubes.

I’m philosophically against any development on any waterfront anywhere
in the world: It blocks access to the waterfront, no matter how small the waterfront or the development. I
am reminded of Frank Lloyd Wright who loved to build on hills, but said
you should never build on top of a hill because you lose the hill.
Same thing in my opinion.

I tend to think of all Coconut Grove issues in relation to the E.W.F. Stirrup House. This proposed development is just a mile’s walk from the E.W.F. Stirrup House. At one time it might have been a gorgeous walk. Walk it these days and you’ll barely catch a glimpse of the majesty of Biscayne Bay, with Miami Beach in the distance, even though you’re walking parallel to it. Decades of bad decisions along the waterfront have led to what it is today, for better or worse.

What would Emperor Headly do?

The footprint of the proposed Grove Harbour development is roughly everything
on the right half of this vintage post card, but the historic buildings will remain

Let’s face it, that job is already filled by alleged corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff. However, if I were a benevolent Emperor of Coconut Grove, here’s what I’d do to correct previous dunderheaded mistakes along that section of South Bayshore Drive, after hanging banners that said “The Waterfront Belongs to Everybody.”  

  1. Raze every building on the east side of South Bayshore Drive from McFarlane through David T. Kennedy Park, except those few that have historic designation. 
  2. Declare the resultant green space, once landscaped, a People’s Park;  
  3. If the members made enough noise, I might be inclined to grandfather in establishments like the Coral Reef Yacht Club and the Coconut Grove Sailing Club, that serve a ‘community’ of members. However, I would maintain a public access to the waterfront for all;
  4. I would be disinclined to grandfather in commercial enterprises such as Scotty’s, the Chart House, or any of the boat sales/rentals places or the charter boat companies. If any of those businesses wish to remain on prime Coconut Grove real estate, they will have to pay through the nose, on short leases, with all the money going into waterfront improvements;
  5. Decree that from this day forward nothing larger than bike racks and public restrooms could be built on the east side of South Bayshore Drive until the end of time;
  6. Remove every parking space from the east side of South Bayshore Drive, forcing people to walk over from the thousands of parking spaces just a few short blocks away in Coconut Grove Center;
  7. Create level pedestrian crossings at every intersection along South Bayshore Drive, forcing drivers to yield to anyone within the crosswalk; 
  8. Add calming speed bumps and traffic circles to discourage drive-through traffic on South Bayshore Drive;
  9. Set my mind on other ways to encourage pedestrians and make it harder for cars along South Bayshore Drive;
  10. Rip out all the mangroves in Peacock Park, which were only planted in the ’80s;
  11. Take back Peacock Park from the private lease given to St. Stephen’s Church (What the hell was Sarnoff thinking on that one?);
  12. Turn the former NET office into something that actually serves the community.
An artist renderinging of Grove Harbor at night,
when the chrome and glass will really shine

That’s just 12 things I would do off the top of my head and, admittedly, I’ve done no research on these ideas. However, none of my suggestions would ever include building a chrome and glass thingamajig on the waterfront, give restaurants 80-year leases, and attach a huge parking garage. But, that’s just me because, in my opinion, the waterfront belongs to everybody.

Truth be told, this is a long-winded way of saying I really don’t care and I am hesitant to get involved in this battle. I have no skin in the game. I don’t live in Coconut Grove. I don’t own a boat, therefore I don’t need that kind of access to the water. Nor am I one of those rich folks on the west side of South Bayshore Drive, hoping a few deluxe restaurants and a glitzy glass and chrome dealie on their doorstep will improve their property values. It’s hard not to compare those values to the property values on Charles Avenue, just a mile away, where the E.W.F. Stirrup House is still undergoing Demolition by Neglect.

Despite the wish fulfillment expressed in the One Grove mural, Coconut Grove is one of the most racially and economically divided communities you’re ever going to see. This project is only 2.2 miles away from the Trolleygate garage, which is across from the One Grove mural, but it might as well be a million miles. The concerns of the folks on South Bayshore Drive are light years away from what affects the people of West Grove. One community is complaining about a huge development that MIGHT be placed on its doorstep, while the other is complaining of huge diesel bus maintenance facility ALREADY dropped on its doorstep, which a judge recently ruled they are powerless to stop. What’s wrong with this picture?

At the unveiling of the One Grove mural earlier this year

Truth be told, I really don’t know enough about *THIS* particular project to jump into it. There will apparently be a referendum, so the community will have its say. And, when I say “community” I really mean Miami as a whole, because Coconut Grove is only a fraction of Miami. And, the community will get whatever the community decides, unlike West Grove.

However, there are two big red flags on this project that should give everyone pause:

  • Just like Trolleygate and the Coconut Grove Playhouse, all the serious
    negotiations and decisions have already happened in the back rooms
    between the politicians and the developers. 
  • Allegedly corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff is involved in Grove Harbor negotiations up to his hip-waders.

As near as I can tell the referendum will just be
the rubber stamp to what Coconut Grove assets allegedly corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff has already sold out to the developers. Unless the Coconut Grove community can muster
enough opposition to stop the project, it’s a fait accompli. Just like Trolleygate was for his other constituents. Rich or poor, Black or White, Marc Sarnoff doesn’t care who he sells out.

I’ll leave this windmill for the Coconut Grove Grapevine to tilt at.

* My fingers stutter whenever I am called upon to type a word that should have a “U” in it, like harbour and colour.

UPDATE: It turns out my fingers needn’t stutter. Grove Harbour is spelled exactly the way I would spell it.

The E.W.F. Stirrup House ► Before and After

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Meeting announcement
Click to enlarge

It probably has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the next Charles Avenue Historic Preservation meeting is this Wednesday, but there were big doings afoot at the E.W.F. Stirrup House yesterday.

The meeting announcement (left) lists rapacious developer Gino Falsetto under the rubric “Historic Assets.” Presumably that means the 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House, which his Aries Development controls through a 50-year lease. Falsetto claims he wants to preserve and renovate the house, turning it into a Bed and Breakfast. If that were truly the case, why has he been allowing it to undergo Demolition by Neglect for the better part of a decade? Why wouldn’t Falsetto do the bare minimum to protect his asset by — at the very least — sealing the windows to keep out the weather? Wood, water, and Florida humidity don’t mix very well and Gino’s given them 8 years to work their moldy magic on this architectural gem.

However, lo and behold: Yesterday a crew was cleaning up the Stirrup property by removing the vines and bushes that had grown all over the back of the house. This blog has documented how the property becomes an unruly garbage dump between citations from the City of Miami. The property is always cleaned up before fines are levied. Then it’s allowed to slowly fall into disarray until the next city inspector posts a citation on the property about all the garbage, weeds, and graffiti. Despite occasional landscaping, the vast Westerfield Archives has several year’s worth of pictures that prove these bushes and vines have never been cleared away. This was not just another minor clean-up.

Could it be that Gino Falsetto realized that eyes would be on the E.W.F. Stirrup House again this week because of the Charles Avenue Historic Preservation meeting? After 8 years of inactivity, is it possible that Falsetto wants to be able to say at Wednesday’s meeting “Things are happening,” only to let it slid into disarray until the next time it gets cleaned up?

[Continued after the jump.]

BEFORE – September 14, 2012
AFTER – February 22, 2013

You can clearly see the damage of vines having 8 years to work their way into the structure and what happens when they are finally ripped out indiscriminately. [Above]

Before – July 17, 2012
After – February 22, 2013

However, that’s just the property. This clean-up is primarily superficial, except for the new scars left on the structure from the brutal landscaping job. Sadly, the E.W.F. Stirrup House, the object of my affection, continues to rot away. To be fair: There has been some very minor work inside the house, which will be the subject of an upcoming post.

Continue to Part Two: Inside The E.W.F. Stirrup House ► Before and After 

For more on the E.W.F. Stirrup House, please read my continuing series:

Is Marc D. Sarnoff Corrupt Or The Most Corrupt Miami Politician?

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His Excellency
Marc D. Sarnoff

In researching the long history of the E.W.F. Stirrup House, one name that never came up was Marc D. Sarnoff, unofficial Emperor of Coconut Grove. 

However, that changed once I started investigating the current state of Coconut Grove. The name “Marc D. Sarnoff” started cropping up with some regularity. The more I uncovered of Gino Falsetto‘s real estate deals, the more I saw the Sarnoff name. When I
started looking into the Coconut Grove Playhouse, I encountered the
Sarnoff name again. It didn’t matter where I turned, Sarnoff always
seemed to be RIGHT THERE. On one level that’s not surprising; Sarnoff is the Commissioner for Miami’s District 2, which takes in Coconut Grove. 

However, it was how his name kept coming up that intrigued the journalist in me. Whenever I read about a new development, I would read about how Marc D. Sarnoff was supporting it, often against neighbours’ objections. The Sarnoff name also came up often when interviewing people on deep background about the history of the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums behind the E.W.F. Stirrup House in Coconut Grove. The prevailing opinion seems to be that if you are a developer, Marc Sarnoff is on your side. If you live in White Coconut Grove, Marc Sarnoff can be your best friend. If you live in Black Coconut Grove, Marc Sarnoff is the invisible man.

Nothing illustrates this better than last week’s hastily scheduled Town Hall meeting on Trolleygate. Sarnoff only called for this community meeting once the shit hit the fan, not when this diesel bus garage was still on paper. Trolleygate can be a complicated story if one gets too deeply into the weeds. However, clearing away the clutter — and narrowing the focus to a single issue — it is easier to see what’s at stake. In a nutshell:

Diesel bus disguised
as an old-tyme trolley.

On one hand: Marc Sarnoff claims Astor Development complied with all legal requirements and had every right to build a diesel bus garage in the middle of West Grove. 


On the other hand: Lawyers for West Grove say that the Miami21 Plan specifically prohibits a “government vehicle maintenance facility” along Douglas; therefore, building permits never should have been issued. 

They both can’t be right.

True to form, residents say, Sarnoff couldn’t be bothered to look for any reasons to deny a developer, even though West Grove lawyers say many exist. The courts will now sort this mess out, at a cost to all Miami taxpayers (the West Grove lawyers are working pro bono). However, Sarnoff clearly thought his time and energy would be better spent working with the developer, as opposed to the neighbourhood groups that came out against the diesel bus garage.

By his own admission: Once he decided that Astor had every right to build a diesel bus garage on Douglas, that’s when Super Sarnoff sprang into action to get the best possible deal for the neighbourhood. To that end, he claims, he convinced the developer to change the exterior of the building to give the diesel bus garage a Bahamian feel. Sarnoff also claimed that he convinced Astor to donate $200,000 to improve the football field at Armbrister Park. Sarnoff insists the developer did this because “[t]his particular developer, his wife is very charitable. He’s very charitable,” according to what he told the Miami Herald. Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that Astor Development stands to make several millions of dollars developing the current diesel bus garage property in Coral Gables.

Google Street View showing 3 of the 4 tax-paying buildings along Douglas Road (at Oak Avenue) destroyed to make way for the Coral Gables diesel bus garage, which won’t be paying taxes. Nor will the buses be picking up passengers in Black West Grove. That might allow them to get to Coral Gables, which is 98% White.

West Grove neighbours describe Sarnoff’s bad faith:

But
residents say when he encountered opposition, Sarnoff simply moved on
to another group. In April, he attended a meeting of the Coconut Grove
Ministerial Alliance and, in October, a gathering of football coaches at
Armbrister Park, according to those in attendance.

“He wanted us
to say it was a good project and we were behind it, considering they
were going to renovate the playing facility,” said Rondy Powell, a coach
at the park for 20 years. “I kind of figured when they came, it was
kind of like a back-room deal.”

An artist’s view of Bahamian-influenced diesel
bus garage on the same corner of Douglas and Oak.

If I were Marc Sarnoff’s Day Timer, I would know how much time Marc Sarnoff spent on Trolleygate, both before and after it became a controversial project. I would also know how much time Sarnoff spent negotiating with Astor Development and how much time was spent negotiating with West Grove residents. However, maybe Marc Sarnoff doesn’t put down all his meetings with developers in his Day Timer because the most often used adjective when discussing Marc D. Sarnoff appears to be “corrupt.” 


How long has Marc Sarnoff been corrupt?

That’s up for debate. According to Sarnoff’s own biography at the City of Miami web site, bad grammar and all:

In 1987 I made the big move to paradise: Miami. I settled in Coconut Grove and established my practice as an Aviation Attorney, specializing in representing passengers’ families and airline staff, and pilots, who were wrongfully killed or suffered life threatening injuries in airline crashes. In 1991 I had the honor of representing Eugene Hasenfus, the former Marine whose C123 Maulewas shot down over Nicaragua while delivering guns to the Contras. I also had the honor of representing, Kassenee Sawyer, who was the widow of the pilot in the Hasenfus plane. For those too young to know, this downing was the beginning of the Iran Contra Affair.

While I think we can all agree that even the worst criminals deserve a defense, this was not a defense. Hasenfus was suing because, after he got caught, his CIA handlers and the government cut him loose. Regardless, Sarnoff seems inordinately proud of his association with the criminal Hasenfus, who was serving a 30-year sentence before being pardoned by Nicaurguan President Daniel Ortega. I wonder why Sarnoff doesn’t mention that he lost that case. 

It might not be a good idea to put much credence in Sarnoff’s official biography. It used to be longer, but he was forced to remove the section where he claimed General David Sarnoff was his grandfather, after the real Sarnoff family said it wasn’t true. 

Then there’s the Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park and Traffic Circle

The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park and Traffic Circle can be seen from space.

If you are one of those North Grove residents lucky enough to live near His Excellency Marc D. Sarnoff, then you will have no doubt seen your property values rise due to improvements right across the street from where he lives, and used to do business. According to recent reports the city is spending ANOTHER $190,000 on Blanche Park (that’s the name of the Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park on paper, but the dogs know who to thank). The bulk of this cost is to replace the grass with astroturf. Back in my day dogs shit on the grass and liked it.

The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park
Photo by author Feb 6, 2013

How was Marc Sarnoff able to take a small park dedicated entirely to children and turn 2/3rds of it over to dogs? No one is quite sure because all the formalities seem to have not been followed. The same way that no one is quite sure how The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Traffic Circle circle came to be located in the middle of the intersection of Shipping Avenue and Virginia Street, right next to the Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park. When you’re the Emperor of Coconut Grove good things drop into your neighbourhood, just like a real life version of Sim City. This will be the third time good money has been thrown after bad; Blanche Park appears to undergo regular upgrades. 

Illegal offices and bar closing hours

The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park
Feb 6, 2013

To be fair: it’s just within the realm of possibility, of course, that Sarnoff’s corner really needed a traffic circle. Any increased traffic, however, might have been due to Sarnoff’s illegal law office, located right next to his residence. And, from beginning to end, the story of the illegal law office provides another taste of Sarnoff Scandal.

That Sarnoff had an illegal law office appears to have been an open secret. While references can be found to it on blog comment threads, the home office was never reported to the City of Miami until Coconut Grove bar owner John El-Masry decided to exact a little revenge on Sarnoff. El-Masry, owner of Mr. Moe’s, was angry because Marc Sarnoff had rammed through a new law, which only affected bar closing hours in Coconut Grove. Whereas bars in the City of Miami could stay open until 5AM, suddenly all bars in “Center Grove” were forced to close at 3AM. An active nightlife in downtown Coconut Grove dried up overnight. In addition to launching a lawsuit against the city, El-Masry reported Sarnoff’s illegal law office to City of Miami staff. City of Miami staff promptly ignored the complaint, tipping off Sarnoff in the process. 

Possibly the Miami Department of Code Enforcement viewed Sarnoff as their boss and didn’t want to rattle any cages at City Hall. However, long-time-Sarnoff foe and Miami Muckraker Al Crespo wasn’t going to let the complaint go, and neither was (then) Coconut Grove Village Councilor Stephen Murray. In a letter to City Manager Carlos Migoya, dated August 31, 2010, Murray reminded the city manager of his duty:

I understand you are a public service rookie, so I’d like to take the time to explain something critical to you. Unlike in the private sector, where you have a clear-cut executive, Board of Directors, and stockholders who need to be answered to, as the City Manager you are a public servant. A public servant has one real boss – the public. You, as a public servant, took an oath to protect the residents of the City of Miami. You did not take an oath to allow yourself nor your subordinates to protect crooked politicians who believe they are above the law.

When I recently asked Stephen Murray if he would go on record for this article, Murray replied:

The only on the record thing worth saying is the following: “Commissioner Sarnoff is a scumbag corrupt piece of shit that doesn’t give two fucks about the people of the West Grove.”

It’s easy to find people who agree with that assessment, especially these days. 

Sarnoff eventually moved his illegal office and Mr. Moe’s eventually won its lawsuit against the city, which was forced to fork over $10,000 of taxpayer money to cover the costs of El-Masry’s lawsuit. Mr. Moe’s remains the only bar in “Center Grove” allowed to stay open until 5AM.

The calm before the meeting. Sarnoff preparing
to meet with the community on Trolleygate.

Dog parks. Traffic circles. Bar hours. Illegal offices. This shows how much power Commissioner Sarnoff wields in Coconut Grove, power that he’s not afraid to use openly to his own benefit. While Sarnoff controls just about everything that happens in the Grove, he claims there is no way he could have stopped the building of the Trolleygate garage.


My first Sarnoff encounter

As mentioned above, the name Marc D. Sarnoff kept popping up once I started investigating the recent history of the E.W.F. Stirrup House. According to (unconfirmed) reports Sarnoff worked closely with Aries Developers, and owner Gino Falsetto, in getting the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums built. This apparently included meetings and accommodations by the developer to mollify neighbourhood concerns. One of those concerns was what would happen to the historic 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House, which would be dwarfed by the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums. Whatever promises were made by Gino Falsetto and Aries Developers concerning the Stirrup House, to both the neighbourhood and Commissioner Sarnoff were broken. [See my ongoing series on the E.W.F. Stirrup House.]

This explains why Marc D. Sarnoff was already on the very periphery of my radar. That all changed a few weeks ago while I was interviewing a West Grove resident about the E.W.F. Stirrup House and Sarnoff’s name came up again. The resident asked, “Did you hear what he did this time?” While he described the broad outline of Trolleygate to me, the story sounded very similar to what had happened with the E.W.F. Stirrup House (Stirrupgate?): A redevelopment project is proposed, neighbours complain, Sarnoff steps in to help the developer, in the end the developer gets what it wants, the immediate neighbours get the shaft.

Trolleygate diesel bus garage; Feb. 6, 2013

I discounted this story almost immediately. While the pattern sounded familiar to what I had discovered in my E.W.F. Stirrup research — not to mention my research into the Coconut Grove Playhouse — I thought, “No one can be that nakedly stupid, can they?”

However, after a few hours of working the phones, the answer came back “YES!” Commissioner Marc Sarnoff is stupid enough to use the same tactics to, once again, help a developer and screw the neighbourhood he represents. That’s when I decided to go to the emergency Town Hall meeting, which I describe it in my previous post The Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show. However, it was only after watching Sarnoff’s performance at that meeting that I decided I needed to do some research on Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff. I fired up the Googlizer and it’s not a pretty picture. Each headline just makes you want to shake your head that Sarnoff was ever reelected.

View of Trolleygate diesel bus garage from
its closest neighbour’s backyard; Feb. 6, 2013

My favourite two headlines are Marc Sarnoff: ‘Reid Welch Called Me a Cop Cock Sucker!’ and Marc Sarnoff (Allegedly) Told Reid Welch: ‘I’ll Kill You!’ These were just two of the dozens of headlines that arose out of a bizarre incident adjacent to the Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park, just across the street from the Sarnoff’s residence.

I’m the first to admit there are two sides to every story. One side says the Commissioner jumped into his metaphorical phone booth, changed into Super Sarnoff, and flew into action, saving a neighbour lady from imminent harm. This is countered by the actual police report and the witness statements, which tell a very different story than the one Sarnoff told. In fact, witnesses allege Sarnoff sucker-punched Reid. Francisco Alvarado, of Miami New Times, makes the undeniable point:

Call us crazy. But if two people saw Banana Republican approach someone, sucker punch him or her, and then pin our victim to the ground, chances are we’d be taking a ride down to Miami-Dade County jail. In fact, any Joe Schmo would have been arrested for assault or battery. But Marc Sarnoff is no regular citizen. He is a Miami city commissioner who has apparently gotten away with beating up his former pal and current nemesis, Reid Welch. 

Sarnoff was never charged in that incident. However, it’s almost as if the Sarnoff Beat is a full time job for Alvarado. Among other stories he’s written about Sarnoff:

Some other random headlines I discovered include some other random Sarnoff scandals:

Cast of Burn Notice. Left to right: Sharon Gless as Madeline
Westen, Bruce Campbell as Sam Axe, Jeffrey Donovan
as Michael Westen, Gabrielle Anwar as Fiona Glenanne.

And, don’t even get me started on Sarnoff’s whacky intervention in the “Burn Notice” lease, which produced weeks of international headlines. The USA Network’s hit show is shot in Coconut Grove and uses the former Convention Center (where Jim Morrison whipped it out) for its production offices. The controversy that Sarnoff instigated, not the Commission, made Miami look small-time and bush league. More specifically Marc D. Sarnoff came off like an uninformed jerk. He even attempted to write the last “Burn Notice” episode. The producers were forced to explain to him, slowly I assume, that they don’t really blow shit up on tee vee when they blow shit up on tee vee. Consequently, Burn Notice wouldn’t accommodate the city and blow up the Convention Center for the show’s finale.

To his credit, Sarnoff was able to squeeze more money out of “Burn Notice.” I’m sure it felt more like extortion on the other end. Why would any other Hollywood production want to locate in Miami if this is the treatment they get? Especially since the weather is not local to Coconut Grove.

Developers Win; Miami Taxpayers Lose

Everywhere you look it appears Sarnoff is acting against the best interests of his constituents and in the best interests of developers. And, in the end, it always seems to cost Miami taxpayers money to support the developer. Take Trolleygate, f’rinstance. Miami taxpayers have already footed the bill for the environmental study produced to justify building the diesel bus garage; a study ordered after the emergency Town Hall meeting had been called. Miami taxpayers also footed the bill for the preparation of Sarnoff’s part of the Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show in which he defended himself against charges from West Grove residents that he doesn’t do anything for them. There are also the various costs associated with holding an emergency Town Hall meeting, from the many police officers who were in attendance to the several City Hall employees who seemed to be there to run the fancy slide show. The biggest expense is yet to come. Now Miami taxpayers have the privilege of paying lawyers to defend Astor Development against the lawsuit launched by West Grove residents.

Meanwhile, Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff is free to befriend new developers and to create more mischief.

Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog ► A Writer’s Rant

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Having been a professional writer for my entire adult life, I have come to the conclusion that Bill Gates ruined my trade.

Writing has always been something I did for as long as I can remember. If I wasn’t being paid to write, I was writing something for which one day I hoped to be paid. If neither, I was journaling, trying to capture smoke with my pen and ink hieroglyphics that often only I could decipher.

It was back at Sheridan College in the early ’70s that I got my first taste of writing to a deadline. I also learned how to publish on deadline, when I became the editor of “A” Student Magazine, working with an entire staff of writers and graphic designers to get issues out on time.

I was taking Media Arts and always assumed I would go into tee vee, or movies. Writing for the college paper was just for fun. So was being a DJ at Radio Sheridan, the ‘underground’ radio station that myself and several others had built from scratch a few years before. When I graduated, I became the first full-time paid manager for Radio Sheridan, which had been floundering after a series of part-time, student volunteer Station Managers almost drove the station into the ground.

Writing about music. What could be more fun?

During this period I started my first freelance writing/editing career. [There have been several.] First came ZoundZ Magazine, a small Rock and Roll handout placed at record store cash registers all over Toronto. Marty Herzog was my business partner and managing editor for a couple of years, for a couple of publications, as far back as “A” Student Magazine. ZoundZ [the second “z” was backwards] led to being asked to edit Cheap Thrills by Concert Productions International. It had promised a publication as part of its Cheap Thrills membership, a VIP line for ordering concert tickets. However a Cheap Thrills publication had never been produced and they were getting flack.

I was 100% against the idea. I loved the idea of having our own publication, without adult supervision. ZoundZ was starting generate income. We were being forced to consider more pages and a larger print run to justify the advertising we were getting from some of the “majors.” However, I didn’t have the headaches Marty did. He had been fronting all the money to have ZoundZ published. Aside from this, he did all the running around to printers and vendors, and sold all the advertising. Marty decided to ‘sell out’ to Michael Cohl and CPI (which really only solved his money headache) and I went along for the ride. [See my previous post on Ivor Wynne Stadium] For the first time in our loose partnership I was suddenly an employee. When Marty started ordering up good reviews of certain records because that’s what he promised the record company, I took a hike. My opinion was never for sale. I went back to freelancing. Marty went on to work for the record company to which he promised good reviews.

Over the years I have done every kind of writing there is, except the greeting card. I’ve crafted Hollywood puff pieces and gritty Rock and Roll profiles; written for Canadian music trade papers and various record companies; created artist bios, as well as reviewed concerts and records; practiced investigative and political journalism; did an entire decade as a tee vee news writer, where I called myself a ventriliquist; and, using the nom de plume Travis Bickel, wrote a regular column for Taxi News, while I drove cab and continued to sharpen my free lance Word-0-Matic Machine.

One of the supreme ironies is that I also wrote the first column in Canada which explored the nascent World Wide Web, still being called The Information Superhighway. I sucessfully pitched the editor of “We Computes,” a publication about hardware, the idea of monthly consumer-style column on those funny “http” things that had started to crop up everywhere you looked. At first Eric was baffled because even he didn’t know what an URL was and what it did. However, in the end, he took a monthly column for a couple of years, until a guide for navigating the World Wide Web seemed superfluous.

This is the same period when Bill Gates was turning the Information Superhighway into a point-and-click dealie. In the days of 300 baud modems and BBSs, one needed to know EXACTLY what to type on the C: prompt to get the computer to do anything whatsoever. Before Bill Gates made it easy, one needed to know programs like PINE and understand how to navigate USENET. Then came the mouse and GUIs and everything changed.

Suddenly HTML ruled and everybody and their brother thought they were a writer, which totally devalued the craft. Everywhere I go (on the innertubes) from the smallest sites to the largest, I see poorly written and poorly edited web sites. Most of these are making money hand-over-fist (whatever the hell that cliche means). Meanwhile, I’ve barely figured out how to monetize this web site. [I continue to be open to suggestions.] If I were being paid by the hour for these words, I’d starve. The irony is that I should have seen this coming and found a way to cash in. 

That’s why every once in a while I write one of these Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog posts, which my regular readers recognize as my way of urging them to click on one of the adverts. They know it doesn’t cost a cent, but will put a few — and I do mean few — cents in my pocket. Go ahead. It won’t hurt at all.

Now, don’t you feel better? Meanwhile, let’s break down the Top Ten Posts for the last 30 days, pulling back the curtain:

A moment on this blog frozen in time.

My post on the Detroit Riots has exploded. While it’s #1 for the month at 488 hits, it’s managed to climb to #3 on the All Time Top Posts with 916 views. That means most of the growth came in the past month for reasons that totally elude me. I’m grateful, because it’s one of the posts I’m most proud of.

The next 3 posts are all interrelated. I’ve been researching Coconut Grove, more specifically E.W.F. Stirrup, for several years now. The #2 post contains the latest research and celebrates Coconut Grove’s birthday. During my research into West Grove, someone in the neighbourhood alerted me to a controversy that was already being called Trolleygate. An Introduction to Trolleygate and The Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show are my first two investigative pieces on Trolleygate, a scandal that’s sure to keep on giving.

The rest of the Top Ten is filled with Fox News Snark, but sneaking into the pack at #7 is my post on Josephine Baker, another one I’m proud of. It also seems to be a favourite of my readers because it clocks in as #2 on the All Time Top Posts list with, 1,235 clicks.

So, there you have it. If you got this far, you owe me. Click on an advert or you’ll never be able to look at yourself in the mirror without feeling a pang of guilt. Seriously.

The Trolleygate Dog And Pony Show

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Miami once loved Coconut Grove enough to place its City Hall
there. Now it puts Coral Gables’ diesel bus garage there.

Trolleygate was the topic of a heated Town Hall meeting at Miami City Hall last night, pitting David against several Goliaths. In this corner the citizens of West Coconut Grove. And in that corner, the cities of
Miami and Coral Gables and Astor Development. It’s a grudge match with a lot of history. 

Representing the City of Miami was District 2 Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, whose district covers Coconut Grove. “Some people say” Sarnoff only represents developers and the rich White folk, while the concerns of Black West Grove residents come last. Mr. Sarnoff was buttressed last night by a phalanx of City of Miami government lackeys, a fancy slide presentation, and, at least, one hired gun.

Coral Gables sent a lawyer. Astor Development went unrepresented. West Grove residents came out in force, filling the chamber with standing room only in the back. This blog was represented by me.

“Ready for my close up.”
Before the meeting starts, Marc D. Sarnoff poses for a reporter.

Marc Sarnoff — who once falsely claimed a heritage with General David Sarnoff (who is actually a relative of mine) before he was forced to admit he made it all up — took the wind out of most sails as he started the meeting. He advised the residents that because a law suit had been filed that afternoon by West Grove residents to stop the diesel bus maintenance garage, there were two subjects the city (himself) could not address on the advice of city lawyers: the issues of zoning and that of notification.

On this, Sarnoff was as good as his word. However, while he never discussed zoning and notification, the assembled residents and lawyers couldn’t get enough of those two topics when it came their turn. But first, it was time for the Dog and Pony Show.

Sarnoff introduced Tim Ogle (SP?) an environmental engineer with Stantec, a company hired by Miami to put on a yadda, yadda, yadda slide presentation that said, essentially, having diesel buses running through the neighbourhood was no worse than licking ice cream, or something. Quite frankly the MEGO factor [My Eyes Glaze Over] set in pretty quickly. I looked around the room and, while people were polite, they appeared skeptical, especially after it was determined that Stantec had been hired by the City of Miami for this very presentation.

I couldn’t help but think that I was watching a presentation normally
given to residents when a project is still on the drawing board, not
when it is already a fait accompli and residents are trying to get it
stopped. However, to be fair, Miami got its money worth. It was a very good presentation and throwing good money after bad to save a developer’s project isn’t a crime, is it? Who knows this better than Commissioner Marc Sarnoff?

Pierre Sand making his points.

After the environmental presentation, Sarnoff opened the floor to questions and statements. First up was Pierre Sands, president of Village West Homeowners and Tenants Association. Despite Sarnoff saying people would be limited to 2 minutes, Sands was given much more than that and even allowed to rebut Sarnoff at one point.

This allowed Sarnoff to cut him off twice later, once when he tried to call bullshit on Sarnoff’s rebuttal and later when Sands wanted to address comments made about him from one of the residents who spoke. Sands made the points [paraphrasing] that the local residents get nothing out of the diesel bus maintenance garage and the City of Miami gets nothing out of it, but it’s clear what the city of Coral Gables gets out of it: It gets rid of a diesel bus maintenance garage and gets a multimillion dollar development. The unasked question hanging in the air was, “What does Marc D. Sarnoff get out of it?” but Sands didn’t go there. Sands closed by expressing extreme disappointment in how Sarnoff has ignored the West Grove since taking office, insisting that Coral Gables’ diesel bus maintenance garage be located “in the City Beautiful,” another name for Coral Gables. He ended on a round of applause.

Sarnoff is a clever man. He anticipated every single one of Sand’s points and was able to rebut them with his own Dog and Pony Show slide show presentation, which had already been prepared. First Sarnoff claimed there was no way he could have stopped the project. Astor Development bought the land fair and square and the building met all city requirements. Once Sarnoff realized the developer had the right to go ahead, he was able to get $200,000 to fix up a football field at Armbrister Park. Sarnoff claimed the developer did this out of the goodness of his heart because he didn’t have to do anything for the community. Sarnoff’s slide show included facts and figures about the football field. As for Sand’s contention that Sarnoff has done nothing for the community, he showed slides of happy builders and residents saying they have, or will be, building up to 80 homes in the area.

Sarnoff’s unspoken message seemed to be, “Screw with this bus garage and not only do you lose these improvements to the football field, but also your biggest champion at city hall to improve the neighbourhood.”  This seemed to be a shot across the bow of the Coconut Grove Collaborative Development Corporation, which has several projects on the drawing board that will need to get City Hall approval.

Some of the back-and-forth between Pierre Sands and Marc D. Sarnoff, discussing the football field at Armbrister Park: 

None of this mollified the residents, who had a litany of objections that hardly touched on diesel fumes and football fields. For West Grove residents it was all about the subjects Sarnoff wasn’t allowed to address: zoning and notification of residents. Two members of the Coconut Grove Village Council said they felt blindsided when the heard the garage was already being built and neighbourhood residents said Sarnoff just did an end run around them after they stated their objections. According to Jenny Staletovich of the Miami Herald, Sarnoff claimed: 

“This particular developer, his wife is very charitable. He’s very charitable,” Sarnoff said. “They agreed to approximately a quarter million (dollars) to improve the football field.”

But residents say when he encountered opposition, Sarnoff simply moved on to another group. In April, he attended a meeting of the Coconut Grove Ministerial Alliance and, in October, a gathering of football coaches at Armbrister Park, according to those in attendance.

“He wanted us to say it was a good project and we were behind it, considering they were going to renovate the playing facility,” said Rondy Powell, a coach at the park for 20 years. “I kind of figured when they came, it was kind of like a back-room deal.”

A spokesman for the Ministerial Alliance said the group neither approved nor objected, but did vote to have UM look at environmental hazards.

Sarnoff said he never brought it to the Grove’s elected body, the Coconut Grove Village Council, which was created in 1991 to give residents a voice at City Hall. “I would rather go directly to the community,” he said. “I don’t think the Village Council is very good at dealing with that type of issue.”

However, one of the contentions of most everyone who spoke last night said Sarnoff never went directly to the community with this project, merely factions within the community.

Several residents making their points about the diesel bus garage:

However, the biggest surprise, was Coral Gables’ lawyer Craig Leen [not captured], who spoke the most sense all evening. He first said that he too had to be careful of what he said because Coral Gables, which is not currently party to any of the court actions, could be dragged into the lawsuit at any time. However, in a nutshell, he said Coral Gables was blindsided by the controversy. Its contract with Astor Development is for the company to locate a diesel bus garage somewhere, anywhere, provided it complies with all local laws. Coral Gables thought it was all a done deal and everyone had signed off on this diesel bus garage. Unless Astor complies with all local laws the City of Coral Gables will not take possession of the diesel bus garage, therefore it would not be able to redevelop the current diesel bus garage for its multimillion dollar development.

West Grove’s Lawyer: “Who would like a bus depot next to their house?”

The current state of the diesel bus garage as of January 31, 2013

Nothing was decided last night, but the West Grove’s lawyers are asking for an emergency injunction that all work on the diesel bus cease. Furthermore, they are asking the court to rule on 3 issues:

• Did Miami give proper notice to West Grove residents under all City of Miami ordinances?

• Does the Miami 21 code of ordinances truly allow for a lack of notification to the community, as Commissioner Sarnoff contends and, if so, is that even constitutional?

• Does the use of a diesel bus maintenance facility at that corner contravene the the Miami 21 city plan? 

Coconut Grove Village Councillor Renata Samuels-Dixon sure thinks so. She found language in the Miami 21 plan that would specifically rule out a “government vehicle maintenance facility” as proper for the corner of S. Douglas Road and Frow Avenue. Since Coral Gables is a “government” under the law, and a diesel bus is defined as a “vehicle,” and the structure was defined at that very meeting as a “maintenance facility,” the case for West Grove residents looks pretty strong. However, you can never tell what will happen in court.

The only thing last night made clear is that the citizens of the West Grove, the City of Miami, the City of Coral Gables, and Astor Development are embroiled in a conflict that is going to cost money, no matter what is decided. West Grove’s lawyers are working pro bono. Miami taxpayer money is being spent to help Marc Sarnoff support another developer, this time in Coral Gables, the next town over.

Is this money well spent?

Welcome Back Coconut Grove Grapevine

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Despite my minor feud with Tom Falco, it was with great interest that I noted that he’s fired up the Coconut Grove Grapevine again. For those not paying attention, Falco wrote back in September: 


I have decided to end the Grapevine, but maybe not totally end it, I don’t know yet. What I am doing is stopping daily publication for now, only because I feel that I have other things I need to do and I believe that you physically have to shut one door to have another door open. I want to immerse myself into the cartooning world and so that is what I am going to do. I plan on traveling often, my first trip is to New York for the New York Comic Con, where I can mix and mingle and pick up tricks from other cartoonists. I need to promote myself and my comic, Tomversation, full time. While I bought a 4-day pass, I was also given a press pass, so I will be covering the event for publication, maybe for the Huffington Post.

I could keep the Grapevine up and running, but not on a daily basis, but I feel that would be doing it in a half-assed way. I don’t want to do that. I have tried hiring photographers and writers but it doesn’t seem to work. So rather than run the thing into the ground, I will take this break, most likely it will be final, but I am a Gemini and I change my mind often, so maybe I’ll start it up again in a few months, we’ll see. [Editor’s note: That’s a hell of a run-on sentence, Tom.] There are almost 9000 stories here believe it or not, all done in the 7.5 years we’ve been up and running, so you can always go back into the archives and have a laugh or two if you feel like it. [And, again.]

Tomversation, Falco’s cartooning site,
is also part of his vast publishing empire.

However, 4 months later comes word that it’s all been a terrible dream and Bobby was just in the shower for the season. The other day Coconut Grove Grapevine announced:

I’m a bit rusty, but I am thinking of returning to the Grapevine. Why? I need the money. My business has been floundering, like many in this economy, I assume, and I am stopped daily, literally daily, on the street, and asked by people to come back. [Same Ed. note] I am thinking of doing so, but with some changes.

One big change — no politics. I don’t want to get back into that. I really don’t I never enjoyed that part of it and sort of got sucked in years ago and never got out. Most people who stop me on the street tell me they want news but news of what’s going on around the village, you know, what’s new? what’s coming in, what’s going out, etc. I’ll do that. I will also cover events and such, but this is going to be a money making venture now. In the past, I had ads, but 99% of those ads were not paid for.

I’ve been cheated by people, one prominent restaurant still owes me lots of money, oh wait, I said I wouldn’t go there. But most of the ads were friends or trades or things like that. I didn’t make money in the past. I honestly didn’t. Now I plan to make money. I am going to charge for coverage.

No politics? That’s really a damned shame, Tom. As I have been trying to get you to understand since we first made contact, you have (had?) a strong voice in the community and could use it for good. When you gave my blog just ONE mention, I received 122 visits from your readers. That’s still the largest referring URL to my blog (discounting my own front page). That’s a testament to the influence you have (had?).

And it’s not like there are no serious political issues to explore in Coconut Grove, Tom. Certainly the E.W.F. Stirrup House (my own pet project) is one. The Coconut Grove Playhouse is another. That Marc D. Sarnoff runs Coconut Grove like an Imperial and Imperious Emperor is another. You almost touched on politics this morning when you mentioned Emperor Marc Sarnoff’s upcoming meeting on Trolleygate. You’re really missing a trick here, Tom. Trolleygate is a scandal that’s tailor-made for a good muck-raking journalist working for the interests of ALL the people of Coconut Grove. Too bad you aren’t that guy. Hopefully, someone will come along and take up the mantle of Coconut Grove Muckraker, but it won’t be me. I am too far removed geographically from the Grove to do an adequate job, as much as I have fallen in love with the West Grove and would love to be that guy.

SPOILER ALERT: However, I will tackle Trolleygate, Tom, so stay tuned for my new series on the so-called Trolley Garage. Overall it will be about the wisdom of putting a mechanical garage for diesel buses smack dab in the middle of a residential neighbourhood that’s trying to rehab itself with several urban renewal projects — literally — on the drawing boards pending approval. It’s a story I will be able to use to prove my original thesis about Coconut Grove: That its curious development over the years, from Mariah Brown right up to today, is the result of systemic racism. Same as it ever was.

IRONY ALERT: During my previous criticism of the Coconut Grove Grapevine I accused Tom Falco of only writing about topics that would help his bottom line, such as stores in the Grove and community events with an advertising budget. I also accused him of not writing about topics that might hurt his bottom line. F’rinstance, as just one example: writing about the Coconut Grove Playhouse and/or the E.W.F. Stirrup House might anger the rapacious developer Gino Falsetto, who controls both and owns restaurants that advertise in the Coconut Grove Grapevine. Accused (by me) of not wanting to bite the hand that feeds him, Falco denied this most vociferously. However, it appears I gave him an idea. You’re welcome, Tom:

So I’ve come up with a price schedule for coverage, also for running regular, good old fashioned ads that will surround the content.

I am going to offer actual ads in the content area, you know, event flyers, then, there is a price for press releases, photos and also having me actually come out and cover an event. I feel these prices are fair. I went by the monthly circulation to see how many eyes will see the content, keeping in mind that various other publications also pick up and share my content. The Huffington Post links to the Grapevine and also the actual stories are picked up, so many eyes see these Grapevine posts from other publications, too. And keep in mind that once your name or business name is posted, it is picked up by the search engines, which gives you extra cache.

I think by now that we all know that everyone reads the Grapevine and if you want to get your event, business or party noticed, this is the place to be seen. All the other Grove publications are now gone and Community Newspapers and Neighbors stories are few and far between. By the way, you’ll notice the Herald ran a story on the new Pan Am Museum/store last week and it is running in today’s Neighbors in print. My content (your content) gets around.

So, if you want to learn about what all the cool, groovy White hipsters in The Grove are doing, read the Coconut Grove Grapevine. If you care about what’s really happening in the Grove, you may have to go elsewhere.

Welcome back, Tom. Hopefully Coconut Grove politics will get along fine without you.