Tag Archives: Crack

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, November 17, 2013

Sunday is not a day of rest for the army of Not Now Silly interns. They are not allowed rest. Just like every other day of the week, they are provisioned and sent out to comb the vast reaches of cyberspace, with instructions not to return unless they bring back Headlines Du Jour. Here’s today’s haul.

TODAY IN GOD:

► A little too little, a little too late ◄
Charles Darwin to receive apology from
the Church of England for rejecting evolution

The
Church of England is to apologise to Charles Darwin
for its initial
rejection of his theories, nearly 150 years
after he published his most
famous work.

TODAY IN LGBT NEWS:

► Let’s not forget two things: 1). The Daily Caller is Tucker Carlson’s sewer; 2). When pronouncing his first name, the “F” is not silent, as in “Fucker.” Adding an adjective, like “stupid” is optional. ◄

Daily Caller: “Foolish” And “Stupid” Are
Totally Acceptable Definitions For “Gay”

TODAY’S FAUX REICH WING OUTRAGE:

Oprah: Old Racists ‘Just Have To Die’ To Further Racial Progress

BOOK CORNER:

‘Elizabeth And Hazel’: The Legacy Of Little Rock

Not as illustrated

TODAY IN WTF? NEWS:

Foster child found handcuffed to
porch with dead chicken around neck

I DIG ARCHEOLOGY:

Once An Ancient Village, Soon
An Entertainment Complex?

The Forgotten Giant Arrows
that Guide you Across America

CRACK CORNER:

SNL Lampoons Mayor Rob Ford and
60 Minutes During Cold Open

 

CRACKED CORNER:

Ted Cruz is Attending David Barton’s Conference for State Legislators

Bill Maher: Sarah Palin would prefer the Pope who quit while in office

HILARITY ENSUES:

Chase’s Twitter Gambit Devolves into All-Time PR Fiasco


VIDEO DU JOUR:

► In 1974 Arthur C. Clarke predicts what Not Now Silly does on the innertubes 40 years later ◄

Headlines Du Jour
is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Not Now Silly interns don’t take weekends off. They’ve spent the night wriggling through all of the innertubes collecting nothing but the finest Headlines Du Jour for your reading pleasure.

BEST STORY OF THE YEAR:

NEWS FROM THE FAR-FLUNG STATES:

DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS TEACHERS:

DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS WOMEN:

GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS

RICH SON OF A GUN:

THE LATEST IN HEALTHCARE LIES:

IN LGBT NEWS:

238 Trans People Murdered Worldwide In The Past Year
The Transgender Murder Monitoring Project reveals the greatest number of killings
took place in countries with some of the most progressive LGBTI rights laws.

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:


Passenger ‘fell out’ of small plane near Miami
Rescue teams scour area south-east of Miami after pilot
radios that passenger fell out of aircraft flying at 2,000ft

THE NEIGHBOUR FROM HELL:

IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:


Rob Ford’s true victims may be those closest to him: DiManno
The mayor has warned media to leave his family alone, but it was he who dragged them into this mess.

Rob Ford’s intoxication affected his job: former staff
Ford was drunk at city hall between 15 and 20 times in a year, a former aide told police; he also missed events, asked staff to buy him booze, and was violent in his office.

Defanging Mayor Rob Ford could cause legal headache
Councillors and legal experts say cutting the mayor’s budget could be sticky, depending on how provincial law regarding the mayor’s “statutory duties” is interpreted.

Report: Police Were Concerned Rob Ford’s
Wife Was Domestic Abuse Victim

Rob Ford’s litany of apologies — and non-apologies
Mayor has spent past two weeks saying he’s sorry,
though sometimes it’s not clear what he’s sorry for.

CRACKED CORNER:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour
is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, November 15, 2013

During the night, when the rest of the world is sleeping peacefully, the Not Now Silly interns spread out over the vast reaches of cyberspace and told not to return unless they bring back the latest Headlines Du Jour. Only then will they be fed and allowed to rest.

STILL COVERING UP FOR BUSH’S WAR:

Exclusive: US blocks publication of
Chilcot’s report on how Britain
went to war with Iraq

WHAT THE FRACK???

Mayor Calvin Tillman Leaves Dish, Texas
Fearing ‘Fracking’ Effects On Family’s Health

WHAT THE FROCK???

Prosecutor warns of a mafia threat against Pope Francis

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Exclusive: Grosse Pointe cops film, humiliate black people

FROM OUTER SPACE:

Potentially Dazzling Comet ISON Now Visible to Naked Eye After Outburst

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

Rebekah Brooks Was Hacked by Her Own Tabloid

THE LATEST ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A CRIME:

 

Boston Boondoggle Hearing Postponed Until
Next Week as Internet Criticism Grows

Blogger threatened with 10-year prison sentence
for posting public official’s phone number

CRACK CORNER:

Robot Butt Developed By Dr. Benjamin Lok:
The Cutting Edge Of ‘Rear-search’?

Joseph Small Puts Fire Hose In Butt, Causes General Mayhem

CRACKED CORNER:

 

They Came to Adore Her: A Night in Bethlehem with Sarah Palin’s Fans

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:


TODAY’S TOTALLY ACCURATE QUOTE FROM TORONTO MAYOR ROB FORD:

“Oh, and the last thing was (former staff member) Olivia Gondek. It says that I wanted to eat her pussy. I’ve never said that in my life to her; I would never do that. I’m happily married, I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thanks very much.”

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford apologises for oral-sex remarks

Rob Ford says he is receiving help from health professionals
but Ontario premier suggests province will step in

 

 Rob Ford’s ‘strength of character’ is just the pathology talking: DiManno
The public may be reeling from new and worse revelations inflicted by the man
himself, but the mayor will adamantly not collect his bobblehead dolls and leave.

 

RELIGION CORNER:

 

Study: Jesus’ Crucifixion Was Legal
A legal scholar says Christ got a fair trial and crucifixion was not unusual for the time

VIDEO DU JOUR:

‘Doctor Who’ 50th: John Hurt’s character name confirmed

Headlines Du Jour
is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, November 14, 2013

While the rest of the world sleeps, an army of Not Now Silly interns reconnoiters the vast reaches of cyberspace looking for those Headlines Du Jour that you’ve been looking for and didn’t even know it. Then, when you wake up, it’s waiting for you right where you expect to find it.

Typhoon Haiyan: in village after village
the plea is the same – please help us!

In northern Cebu, where the typhoon made two devastating
landfalls last Friday, families line the road begging for supplies

Typhoon Haiyan: Before and after
Aerial images taken over the Philippines reveal the scale of devastation
Typhoon Haiyan has caused in the once-vibrant coastal city of Tacloban.

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE NEWS:

US fears climate talks will focus on compensation for extreme weather
Officials fear the devastating impact of Typhoon Haiyan
will overshadow core issue of climate change prevention

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:


What I learned from partying with Fox News
Everyone loves Megyn Kelly, the Fox News “look” is real, and Bill O’Reilly loves a photo op

Sarah Palin Is Back To Doing What She Does Best —
Scaring White People And Selling Books

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

FIFTY YEARS AGO:

PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A CRIME:

TODAY IN WTF? NEWS:

CRACK CORNER:





Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar

Rob Ford did drugs, partied with escort, police document alleges
Mayor Rob Ford did drugs and partied with an escort during an all-night
binge last year beginning in his office, a new police document alleges.

Rob Ford admits to buying drugs; councillors ask him to take a leave
Mayor Rob Ford admitted during a testy and unprecedented city council
debate Wednesday that he has bought illegal drugs in the last two years.

► He knows when you’ve been good or bad ◄
Santa Claus Parade asks Rob Ford not to march
Parade co-chair has sent a letter to the mayor’s staff, asking to avoid the distraction
of having Rob Ford march “and put the focus back on Santa and Mrs. Claus.”

CRACKED CORNER:

Beck: Pledge Of Allegiance And Star Spangled
Banner Are The ‘Trappings’ Of Progressives

The five funniest lessons from Sarah Palin’s Christmas book
Palin predicts a President Romney and shares her recipe for Rice Krispies Treats

Marijuana laws in Washington, D.C., poised to be relaxed
City council set to decriminalize small amounts of pot, but Congress could interfere

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Cannabis History 101 – a great video about the history of cannabis