Hello, Headliners! Today’s birthday belongs to Hezekiah Leroy Gordon Smith, better known to Jazz fans as Stuff Smith., violinist extraordinaire. Among the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

• 326 – Helena of Constantinople discovers the True Cross and the Holy Sepulchre (Jesus‘s tomb) in Jerusalem.





• 786 – “Night of the three Caliphs”: Harun al-Rashid becomes the Abbasid caliph upon the death of his brother al-Hadi. Birth of Harun’s son al-Ma’mun.
• 1741 – George Frideric Handel completes his oratorio Messiah




• 1752 – The British Empire adopts the Gregorian calendar, skipping eleven days (the previous day was September 2).
• 1814 – The poem Defence of Fort McHenry is written by Francis Scott Key. The poem is later used as the lyrics of The Star-Spangled Banner.





• 1901 – President of the United States William McKinley dies after an assassination attempt on September 6, and is succeeded by Theodore Roosevelt.




• 1917 – Russia is officially proclaimed a republic.




• 1959 – The Soviet probe Luna 2 crashes onto the Moon, becoming the first man-made object to reach it.




• 1960 – The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) is founded.





• 1969 – The US Selective Service selects September 14 as the First Draft Lottery Date.





• 1987 – The Toronto Blue Jays set a record for the most home runs in a single game, hitting 10 of them.





• 1994 – The Major League Baseball season is canceled because of a strike.
• 2000 – Microsoft releases Windows ME.

Here is today’s Headlines Du Jour:

MORE OF THAT REPUBLICAN OUTREACH:

THE SPERM WARS:

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKS:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

FREE THE WEED!!!

FOX NEWS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Loofah Lad showing no self-awareness whatsoever

FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

No longer preggy leggy Meggy showing off her journalistic credentials…again.

NO LONGER PREGGY LEGGY MEGGY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Tucker Fucker Carlson showing off his journalistic credentials

TUCKER FUCKER CARLSON IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BOB BECKEL IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bully Boy Bolling showing off his journalistic credentials

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

STEVE DOOCY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Greg Gutfeld showing off his journalistic credentials

GREG GUTFELD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE TARANTULA IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Sean Hannity showing off his journalistic credentials

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.