All posts by Headly Westerfield

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

Beatles, Elvis, Dylan & Johnny Cash ► A Mega Monday Musical Appreciation.

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When it’s Monday Musical Appreciation time, I consult several Day in Musical History sites, choose a topic, and write the post — all before most of my readers are awake.

I take pride in choosing a topic that morning, researching it, choosing tunes and pics that best illustrate that research, and then writing it up. It makes me feel like I’m back in the Citytv Newsroom and given an assignment to write. I like the pressure of it.

All of that is preface to say: I couldn’t choose a single event, person, or band today. Any one of the following could sustain its own stand-alone post. Additionally, the more I researched the date, the more I began to see points of synchronicity. That’s when I decided to wrap it all up in one big bow.

The following all occurred on May 1st:

Johnny Cash

On this day in 1956 Johnny Cash released “I Walk The Line”, his most recognizable tune. Thirteen years later — when he was a big star with his own tee vee show — he hosted Bob Dylan who sang 2 tunes and then a duet with Johnny Cash on “Girl From the North Country”, a song originally on the LP The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. The duet became the lead off track of Dylan’s Nashville Skyline LP.

On a personal note: This televised performance happened on my birthday and was my entry into Country music. If Dylan could cozy up to Johnny Cash, maybe there is something I was missing. I went out and bought the relatively recent Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison, which I fell in love with. I’ve been a Johnny Cash fan ever since.

BONUS DYLAN:

Elvis Presley

Elvis was already an up-and-comer when, on this date in 1957, he appeared on the cover of the first issue of 16 Magazine. Many magazine covers would follow.

Ten years later, to the day, he wed 21-year old Priscilla Beaulieu — who he had met while in the Army almost 8 years earlier — in his suite at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas. He was 11 years her senior.

The next year, on the same day, Elvis would release “Speedway”, the soundtrack album his latest boring movie of the same name, despite the appearance of Nancy Sinatra. The LP never went any higher than #82 on the Billboard LP charts.

Elvis would only make 4 more movies, none any better.

The Beatles

On this date in 1962, The Beatles began a month long stand at The Star Club, Hamburg, Germany. The Beatles have always pointed to the pressure of having to MAK SHOW under the relentless pressure of playing set after set, night after night, as when they solidified as a band. Listen to how tight they were before Beatlemania struck.

After they hit it big, The Beatles were offered money for licensing rights to everything from Beatles’ Wigs to lunchboxes. On this day in 1964, manager Brian Epstein accepted $140,000 from a bubble gum company to have their pictures inserted into the packages sold in ‘Merka.

Two years later, on this date in 1966, The Beatles gave their last last British at Empire Pool in Wembley, appearing as New Musical Express poll winners. Their performance consisted of  “I Feel Fine”, “Nowhere Man”, “Day Tripper”, “If I Needed Someone”, and “I’m Down”.

Who else appeared on this bill? If you were lucky enough to have gotten a ticket, you would have seen The Spencer Davis Group, The Fortunes, Herman’s Hermits, Roy Orbison, The Rolling Stones, The Seekers, The Small Faces, Dusty Springfield, The Walker Brothers, The Who and The Yardbirds.

1968 Paul McCartney and John Lennon watch Bill Haley play Royal Albert Hall in London.

Other items I would have included had I wanted to turn this post into an epic:

In 1930: Little Walter was born.

In 1955 Chuck Berry was signed to Chess Records.

In 1965 Spike Jones dies.

In 1967, Carl Wilson, of The Beach Boys’ is arrested by the F.B.I. for draft evasion.

In 1969, Jimi Hendrix was arrested at Toronto International Airport for drugs and was released on $10,000 bail.

May 1st was an epic day in music.

Pérez Prado ► Monday Musical Appreciation

On this day in 1955: Pérez Prado had a #1 hit with “Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White”.

While almost no one knows his name today, or the name of his biggest hit, this tune is immediately recognizable.

As the Wiki is quick to tell us:

Dámaso Pérez Prado (Spanish pronunciation: [ˈpeɾes ˈpɾaðo]; December 11, 1916 – September 14, 1989) was a Cuban bandleader, singer, organist, pianist and composer, who also made brief appearances in films. He is often referred to as the King of the Mambo.[1][2] He became known and professionally billed as Pérez Prado, his paternal and maternal surnames respectively.

Crank it up and D A N C E ! ! !

The tune was used as a them for the Jane Russell movie Underwater! in which producer Howard Hugues had her running around in a bathing suit for almost the entire move:

A Wiki page about the song itself says:

“Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White” or “Cerezo Rosa” or “Ciliegi Rosa” or “Gummy Mambo”, is the English version of “Cerisiers Roses et Pommiers Blancs”, a popular song with music by Louiguy written in 1950. French lyrics to the song by Jacques Larue and English lyrics by Mack David both exist,[1] and recordings of both have been quite popular. However, Perez Prado‘s recording of the song as an instrumental with his orchestra featuring trumpeter Billy Regis,[1] whose trumpet sound would slide down and up before the melody would resume, was the most popular version in 1955, reaching number one for 10 weeks on the Billboard chart. It became a gold record. Perez had first covered this title for the movie Underwater! (1955), where Jane Russell can be seen dancing to the song.[1] Billboard ranked this version as the No. 1 song of 1955.[2] The most popular vocal version in the U.S. was by Alan Dale, reaching No. 14 on the chart in 1955.[3]

I never even knew the tune had lyrics.

Looking Ed Henry of Fox “News” In The Eye

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Remember Gene Huber? He’s the nut job Emperor Trump pulled out of the crowd in February. He’s still milking the moment, wearing a tshirt with a picture of himself hugging the Trumpster.

The dumbing down of ‘Merka — followed by the election of Emperor Trump — could not have happened without the Fox “News” Channel’s mendacity, which I’ve been exposing for the last 8 years.

That’s one of the reasons why I watch nearly 28 hours of Fox & Friends every week. It’s the table-setter for an entire day at Fox, releasing hot air-filled memes to see what floats and what sinks.

The other reason is because it’s also a very funny show, if you call 4 hours a day of Reich Wing propaganda funny. And, I do.

Let’s face it: Comedy is subjective, but this daily sitcom trope is HIGH-LARRY-US to me. First, the set up: People only need to be moderately well-informed to see right through the Foxy Friends Daily Dose of Bullshit. Now the punchline: Their brain-dead audience eats it up like it was Percocet. They don’t even know they’re being fed fake news because they are too stupid to care that FAIR & BALANCED is just the beginning of the lies.

That also explains why, when I heard that Fox & Friends Weekend was going to be broadcasting live segments from Benny’s on the Beach in Lake Worth (an hour up the road), I knew I had to be there.

Fox & Friends loves to send one of its people to a diner somewhere in real ‘Merka to show real ‘Merkins endorsing the phony version of real ‘Merka Fox “News” has been feeding it for 2 decades.

You never hear any anti-Trump, or anti-Fox viewpoints at these diners. I decided I would go and be one. Small tangent: There was a time in my life (as a News Writer at Citytv for a decade) that I appeared on tee vee every single day. I wanted to see if I could get on tee vee again and test the 7 second delay at Fox. More importantly, I wanted to see what kind of audience Fox & Friends attracts.

This wouldn’t be the first time I went out of my way to meet a Fox “News” personality. A number of years back I spent most of the day at a book signing, which resulted in the dystopian The Day I Shook Hands With Glenn Beck. Almost exactly 2 years ago I bumped into Campaign Carl Cameron at the Little Marco presidential campaign kickoff. We laughed and laughed and laughed as I introduced myself to him.

When I went to sleep last night I was looking forward to a road trip to Lake Worth first thing in the morning. I had yet to take The Grey Ghost, my new official car of the Not Now Silly Newsroom, on the highway. This seemed like a good time of day to see what she could do. However, when I woke up it was pouring and I almost decided not to go. I’m glad I changed my mind.

The weather only seemed to get worse as I approached Lake Worth.

It was raining hard when I pulled into a parking space and run out to the ticket machine. It doesn’t take bills. I don’t have coins, so I commiserate with the woman getting her ticket and ask her if she can make change for a few bills. She quickly charges my parking onto her credit card and says it’s Sunday and that’s her Godly deed for the day.

I knew I was in Trump Country.The first thing I saw was this crazy car, which I took pictures of from every conceivable angle. As I was doing this I saw Gene Huber getting ready to do a video with some earnest Trumpite [see pic above] when Huber realizes that he’s being posed in front of that monstrosity of a car. He absolutely refuses to allow it as a backdrop, so they have to set up another shot and it’s still pissing down rain.

I knew that Ed Henry was doing these live segments, but I didn’t realize that this event doubled as a book signing until I got there. Henry’s recently published a book about Jackie Robinson called 42 FAITH. The publisher’s page says it’s about “Jackie Robinson, Branch Rickey, and the hidden hand of God that changed history”. That God! Always changing history. Inside the flyleaf it says “God, Baseball, and the decision that integrated the major leagues”. I wish I knew about God’s cameo appearance in the book before I plunked down $20 on it.

I found Ed upstairs when I arrived, doing a very brisk business autographing books (after pocketing $20) and taking selfies with anyone who asked. And a lot of people asked. He was gracious and didn’t turn anyone away. Including me when I asked moments later.

Suddenly a waitress dropped a plate of food right in front of me and Ed Henry sat down to tuck in. I didn’t realize I’d get this close to him this quickly. Seizing the opportunity, I handed him my business card, told him I was his channel’s nemesis, and then asked if he’d take a pic with me. He didn’t hesitate and we took two quick pics together as I explained how long I’ve been writing Fox “News” criticism.

Then I left him alone to eat his breakfast as other people crowded around. I heard someone say that the next live pop would be downstairs, so I went to the Tiki Bar to wait. Having already outed myself as a Fox “News” critic, I knew I had little hope that he’d interview me, so I set myself up opposite the tee vee camera, so it couldn’t miss me, seeing as how I was wearing one of my wildest t-shirts.

A woman asked me if Laura Ingraham was still here. I said I didn’t realize she had been, the woman told me she rushed from home to meet her because she saw her on her tee vee.

Another woman asked me to sign her petition against Sanctuary Cities. I saw her working the crowd before she got to me. People didn’t even read what they were signing. They snatched that pen and clipboard as if that very act would rid the country of immigrants and signed away. When she thrust the clipboard at me I said that I couldn’t sign it anyway because I’m not a citizen. She said that didn’t matter at all, proving how little she knows about the Constitution. Then I added that I’m in favour of Sanctuary Cities.

“Don’t you want people to follow the law? Don’t you want the cities to follow the law?”

As I was about to tell her that a detainer from ICE was not an official arrest warrant and there was no obligation on the part of cities to comply, she moved on to the next signatory.

The wind and rain started to pick up. The Tiki Bar had open sides. Because I had perched myself on the outside wall, to get above everybody else, I was now getting soaked. From my catbird seat I watched the PA hype up the crowd, telling them she wanted a huge round of applause when they go to air. She got them to practice and seemed satisfied that they’d applaud on cue like trained seals.

Gene Huber worked the room, too. People treated him like a Rock Star, approaching and taking selfies with him.

When Ed finished his breakfast he came downstairs and worked the room taking more selfies with people. Then he did a live teaser from the middle of the room and the crowd got to appear enthusiastic.

Then Ed Henry did something that took him down a peg in my book. He yelled “How many here voted for Donald Trump?” The crowd went nuts. Then  he asked, “Did anybody vote for Hillary?” There was silence for a beat until a spontaneous chant of “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!” started slowly and then picked up steam.

Before Henry did his next live segment from the middle of the room in front of the bar, one of his handlers got people with Trump signs and flags to stand behind the bar. They were totally in the way of Benny’s staff, who could no longer serve through and over the bar. But they didn’t seem to mind. Then this same guy moved to the front to see what else he could do to arrange the shot and Henry yelled, “No staging.”

“Too late,” I yelled back.

This next segment included Gene Huber, a man who tended bar at Trump’s wedding to Melania, and a father and son duo, who I couldn’t hear at all, so I have no idea why they were there. After the segment ended the crowd spontaneously started shouting YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!! YEW ESS EH!!!

I shut off my camera before it broke.

Then something rather fortuitous happened.

After this segment ended Ed Henry set up his Book Stand right next to where I was sitting on the wall. I was able to take dozens of candid pics of him signing books and taking selfies with everyone, gracious to everyone who approached. A number of people came up to him that he obviously knew. These people all looked like they had oodles of money. There’s just a South Florida matron look that one comes to recognize.

As he was signing books, I’d lean over and fill him in a little more about my background. As I was leaving and shaking his hand, I said, “In 8 years of writing Fox “News” criticism, I’ve never written about you.”

“That’s good.”

On the drive home I realized I lied. I actually wrote about how he had been suspended from Fox for an extramarital affair and again when he returned to the air.

However, I plan to read Ed Henry’s book and give it the same attention I did to James Rosen’s lying book that covered for Roger Ailes’ and Richard Nixon’s treason during the 1968 election. Oddly enough, it’s not all that different than what Emperor Trump has been accused of.

Tiger Stadium ► Throwback Thursday

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It was on this day 115 years ago the first pitch was thrown out at Detroit’s Tiger Stadium.

The Tigers moved to Comerica Park, and played their last game at Tiger Stadium in September 1999. Ten years later, despite being designated a historic site by the state of Michigan, and listed on the National Register of Historic Places, Tiger Stadium was demolished after several preservation and redevelopment schemes died on the drafting table. However, the actual playing field of Tiger Stadium is still there and lovingly maintained by a local community group.

Known as “The Corner”, because of its prominent location at Michigan and Trumbull Avenues, with Trumbull’s angle creating a trapezoidal lot. However, it had many names over the years. Originally called Bennett Park in 1895, when it consisted of a playing field surrounded by wooden bleachers and a roofed grandstand in the outfield. It was named Navin Field in 1912, after Frank Navin purchased the team and had a modern stadium constructed out of steel and concrete. Incidentally, opening day was the same for Fenway Park.

After Navin’s death in 1935, it became known as Briggs Stadium, and new owner Walter Briggs embarked on an expansion project that upped the seating to a whopping — for the day — 58,000 seats. According to the WikiWackyWoo, Briggs had a reputation as a racist:

Briggs was noted for fielding a well-paid team that won two American League pennants (1940, 1945) and a World Series championship in 1945 under his ownership.[6] He had a reputation for being somewhat prejudiced against African-Americans, in part because he refused to sign black players (though he allowed blacks to work at his factory)[7] and would not allow black fans to sit in the boxes at Briggs Stadium.[citation needed] The Tigers did not field their first non-white player until 1958, six years after Briggs’ death—making them the second-to-last team in the majors to integrate (ahead of only the Boston Red Sox).

After his death his son Walter Junior tried to hang onto it, but administers for the estate forced the sale after 5 years. The new owners called it simply Tiger Stadium in 1961, one of the classic ballparks from the classic era of ‘Merka’s Pastime.

I remember going to Tiger Stadium as a kid. The Upper Decks were really up there. It seemed like a long climb to get to the cheap seats, but when you looked down, the field was right below you; so close, it almost felt like you were on the field. It was a huge deal when I was 16 and the Tigers won the World Series in 1968. We rode around in cars for days screaming out the windows.

Later, when I was a teenager, sometimes we’d do what we called a Double Header. Plum Street, Detroit’s Hippie Mecca — where I first met John Sinclair — was just around the corner. Some days me and my friends, who were all weekend Hippies, would buy incense and hang out on Plum Street before walking the few blocks to see a weekend Tiger’s game.

The Wiki also notes:

A plan to redevelop the old Tiger Stadium site would retain the historic playing field for youth sports and ring the 10-acre property with new development has received final approval, and funding.[4] Developer Eric Larson of Larson Realty will develop a mixed residential and retail project along the Michigan Ave and Trumbull sides of the property, beginning in late 2016.[4] The Detroit Police Athletic League will begin construction, in early April 2016, on a new headquarters building along Michigan Ave and Cochrane. The L-shaped building would enclose two sides of the field.[4] Together these two projects will completely ring the old site.[4]

But, there will never be another Tiger Stadium.

Johnny Dollar Outed As Roger Ailes Operative?


Mark Koldys before he started using his powers for evil

In the annals of malevolent human malignancy, there are few people who can measure up to Mark Koldys, whose evil lair on the interwebs is called Johnny Dollar’s Place.

Longtime readers of the Not Now Silly saga are already aware of my long history with this piece of human excrement. However, new readers will naturally be in the dark. Bottom line: Dollar is so important to the NNS Newsroom that he has his its own rubric in the menu at the top of every page here: The J$ Wars.

Feel free to read through the many chapters at your leisure, but for now it’s enough to know that I came under a relentless, years-long, cyber-bullying attack from Johnny Dollar and his merry band of sycophants merely because I wrote Fox “News” criticism and — GET THIS! — they thought Fox was worthy of defending.

I have always threatened to turn this into a book. To that end, in 2015 I approached Mark Koldys to sit down for an interview in which we could kick shit around and I could realize the final chapter of a book called The Johnny Dollar Wars. Most of it’s written already. [See above.] I tried every method I had to contact Koldys, including his brother who I’ve exchanged pleasantries with a few times over the years. I couldn’t get Dollar to cooperate and I lost interest in making it into a book.

But, I digress.

I have long believed that Mark Koldys was employed to perform his mischief by the Fox “News” Channel, mostly because that’s what was alleged in David Folkenflik’s 2013 book Murdoch’s World. However, we may have all gotten it wrong. It now appears that Johnny Dollar was hired by the now disgraced Roger Ailes to attack and smear me, among many other people. This according to a new article at Salon. In Roger Ailes’ fake news empire: Former Fox News head presided over a panoply of phony “sock puppet” blogs, Matthew Sheffield writes:

In addition to operating The Cable Game, the Fox News black ops team also began subsidizing the work of a Michigan lawyer turned blogger named Mark Koldys, known online as Johnny Dollar, according to a source.

Koldys, who did not respond to an interview request, has defended Fox News and attacked its left-leaning critics online for many years. He began in July of 2004 with a blog called Johnny Dollar’s Place: Cable News Truth, whose first posts were dedicated to attacking an anti-Fox News documentary called “Outfoxed.” The site was frequently promoted on The Cable Game.

Besides writing for his own site (which still publishes material but apparently is no longer subsidized by Fox News), Koldys also frequently wrote for a now-defunct blog called OlbermannWatch, a site set up in late 2004 to criticize and parody former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann. The creator of that site, Robert Cox, said in an interview that Koldys denied being paid by Fox News at the time. Cox further added that he had not been paid by Fox News.

The Fox News spokeswoman said that Koldys had not been paid by the network to the best of her knowledge. A legal representative for Ailes did not respond when contacted for this story.

Updated at 11:21 a.m. ET: This story has been updated to clarify Fox News Channel’s position on its relationship to Mark Koldys.

For once I’m going to believe a Fox spokesperson. [I hope this doesn’t become a habit.] Sheffield’s article makes a good case that it was Roger Ailes — fired with a $40 million parachute for sexually harassing women — who ran this illegal and reprehensible black box operation, and not Rupert Murdoch or the Fox “News” Channel.

Regardless of who paid him, Koldys used his knowledge of the law as a former-Michigan prosecutor to skirt around libel and slander laws, while still keeping to the mercenary mission of attacking and smearing anyone who had the temerity to criticize that laughable Fox “News” Channel.

Currently the New York State Attorney’s Office is investigating the secret payoffs from Fox “News” to the various woman harassed by Ailes and by Loofah Lad, aka The Falafel King. It is trying to determine whether Fox “News” shareholders were defrauded by these secret payoffs that have only recently come to light. Maybe while they’re at it, they can look into whether Mark Koldys was paid from Roger Ailes’ secret slush funds to make my life miserable for all of those years.

How Will the Playhouse Redevelopment Hurt West Grove?

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Coconut Grove is older than Miami, but has been treated
like its ugly step-sister ever since annexation in 1925.

West Grove, the historic Black enclave nestled within Coconut Grove, Miami, Florida, is currently threatened on all sides by White gentrification.

The latest challenge is the massive Coconut Grove Playhouse condo/restaurant/parking lot/theater redevelopment project threatening West Grove.

The Playhouse is at the extreme east end of Charles Avenue. It was designated a Historic Roadway because it is one of Miami’s oldest streets. It was laid out slightly out of true east/west alignment by E.W.F. Stirrup, who almost single-handed, created this neighbourhood and watched over its survival until he died in 1957. Stirrup was one of Florida’s first Black millionaires and at one time owned more properties in Coconut Grove than anyone else.

[tabembed align=”right”]

Further reading:

This reporter has been researching Charles Avenue and Main Highway since February 2009. Here are just a few of the stories from the archive.

Happy Birthday Coconut Grove!!!
Now Honour Your Past

Who Is To Blame For The Destruction
of the E.W.F. Stirrup House?

Say Goodbye to the Stirrup
House While You Still Can

Unpacking Coconut Grove
Part One

Unpacking Coconut Grove
Part 1.1

The E.W.F. Stirrup House

Open Houses and Broken Laws

A Charles Avenue Love Story

An Open Email to the City of Miami

Signs along Charles Avenue

The Coconut Grove Playhouse
Trojan Horse; Part I; Part II

The Coconut Grove Playhouse
Deal Begins to Unfold

EXCLUSIVE: Are Valet Companies
Stealing From Miami Taxpayers?

The Bicycle Shop The Latest In The
Cultural Plunder of Coconut Grove

Aries Development Continues
To Rape Charles Avenue

Aftermath of the Great
Miami Tree Massacre

[/tabembed]The more things change, the more they stay the same.

When the Miami Historic Environment Preservation [HEP] Board voted earlier this month to demolish the theater, it took another step in destroying history in order to pay lip service to preserving it. This is the same thing the HEP did with the E.W.F. Stirrup House, catercorner to the back of the Playhouse, on south side of Charles. This magnificent century-old house has now been replaced — NOT RESTORED! — because the HEP will roll over for developers, history be damned.

The Coconut Grove Playhouse — just like the Stirrup House — underwent nearly a decade of Demolition by Neglect. The Coconut Grove Playhouse’s developers — just like the Stirrup House’s developers — were then able to argue that extreme deterioration of the structure required it to be torn down.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.


The E.W.F Stirrup House before replacement

TO BE FAIR: The Playhouse developers were also able to argue the theater was renovated so many times since originally built, that it no longer was the old theater anymore. That was an argument only the HEP seemed to buy.

Ironically, the same could have been argued for the E.W.F. Stirrup House, which (according to anecdotal evidence) grew from a small 1-story Conch House to the impressive 2-story structure as Mr. Stirrup’s family and fortune grew.

However, that’s all water under the bridge.

Once the HEP approved the massive Playhouse redevelopment (in concept only) it became immediately clear how this Black neighbourhood will bear the brunt of that decision.

When it came time to build a polluting incinerator in Miami, it was given to West Grove. Almost 100 years later, when it came time to build a polluting diesel bus maintenance facility, it was given to West Grove. And now, when a massive development project is proposed for Main Highway, the negative effects will be born by West Grove.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

A quick word about these Coconut Grove Condo-Retail-Restaurant-Parking Garage-Playhouse Megaplex drawings:

Before the HEP Board approved demolishing the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse on April 4th, the developers put on the typical Dog and Pony Show. During the hours-long meetings the community and HEB Board were presented with a confusing array of facts and figures, along with blue prints and artist’s renderings. These cane be found HERE. show that there will be entrances to the loading docks on Charles Avenue and William Avenue, one block to the north.

Just before the HEP voted it was revealed that all of the drawings just shown were already out of date, supplanted by another set of drawings, with different facts and figures, that no one had seen yet.

And the HEP Board still passed it. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Meanwhile, I have found newer drawings online at the Miami-Dade Department of Cultural Affairs public portal, which were posted on April 10th. Now, get this: I have been told that these drawings are already out of date. However, until I finagle the latest from one of my sources, these will have to do.

How will West Grove suffer?

The latest drawings show that Charles Avenue [A, to the right] will be the entrance for all trucks with something to pick up, or take away from the Coconut Grove Condo-Retail-Restaurant-Parking Garage-Playhouse Megaplex.

Trucks will turn in from Main Highway [B] to [F}, where an entire complex of loading docks and garbage pickup will be competing for space. The drawing does show a small bit of landscaping to try and make it disappear, but it will always be a loading dock and garbage pickup on Charles Avenue.

It’s instructive to note that putting this driveway on Charles leaves the maximum amount of space on the north side of the building for the mixed use Condo/Retail/Restaurant/Parking Lot/Theater Megacomplex. All at the expense of Charles Avenue, which has been designated a Historic Roadway, just to remind you.

Lately beer trucks serving the restaurants in The Monstrosity, aka Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums, have been pulling onto Charles Avenue and parking opposite the driveway to the E.W.F. Stirrup House [G]. From there the deliveries are loaded onto a hand cart and taken it through the parking lot of the Regions Bank on the corner, across from [F]. If the Stirrup House ever gets an occupancy permit, they’ll be able to walk it through the Stirrup property instead, saving time and energy.

Oddly enough, loading docks were not required for The Monstrosity, even though the plan was always to have restaurants on the ground floor that would require deliveries. In addition, beer trucks will never be allowed to pull up in front of The Monstrosity, because that would hinder the valet parking concession.

Once the Playhouse is redeveloped — with its 31 apartment units [D], restaurant [between D & E], gargantuan 449 slot parking garage [C], and small 300 theater [E] — it will generate a massive amount of garbage. There will have to be daily pickup, if not pickup twice a day.


The Charles Avenue Historic Marker with the
two empty residential lots in the background

Let me draw your attention to the two empty lots marked [H] on the pic above. Immediately behind the Charles Avenue Historic Marker are 3227 and 3247 Charles Avenue, which are zoned single family residential. There had once been houses on those lots; a Conch on one and a Shotgun on the other. These were demolished in order to use the double lot as a marshaling yard to build The Monstrosity a decade ago.

TO BE FAIR: This made more sense than having the construction traffic on Main Highway, but the neighbouthood still lost 2 affordable houses that have never been replaced.

I wrote about these two empty lots in Another Charles Avenue Bad Neighbour Update, after I discovered that the valet concessions were illegally using these residential lots to park dozens of cars, the overflow to an event in the Cruz Building, on Commodore Plaza.

These 2 lots are not part of the footprint of Playhouse redevelopment. Yet, everyone recognizes how they would square off the Playhouse property. However, there are too many hoops to jump through for that to ever happen. Regardless, that did not stop developer Peter Gardner, of the Pointe Group/Colliers International, from dropping a half million dollars a piece to speculate that these two lots will skyrocket in value.

FULL DISCLOSURE: When I met with Peter Gardner last year I sandbagged him. Having learned he had recently signed on as a developer of the Stirrup House, I booked a sit down interview with him. After some preliminaries on the Stirrup House, I shifted to these two Charles lots and then all the property he either owns or controls on Grand Avenue.


At dawn, looking east along Grand Avenue, from the
disgusting ghetto to the extremely rich Center Grove

Please read my ongoing series Unpacking Grand Avenue

Garner was surprised that I was able to relate the history of these two empty lots and how the people he bought them from may have broken the law to get them. He suggested that it’s possible he hadn’t performed his due diligence on the properties. I assured him that no one, least of all the banks that appear to have been snookered, cared at all.

Then he appeared shocked when I pulled out my handmade map of Grand Avenue, with all the properties identified and colour-coded by owner.

And, I know he was stunned when I told him that I would fight him tooth and nail to prevent these Charles Avenue lots from being zoned for anything other than single family. TO BE FAIR: I warned him at the top of the interview that I was an advocacy journalist. This is just one of the things I advocate about.

But, I digress. One of the latest ideas for these two lots is to turn it into some kind of car turn-a-round for all the swells going to the Playhouse. Imagine the traffic this would generate. However, this idea seems as absurd an the other rumour around: That Michael Eidson’s 2-theater plan would need these two lots to expand into for something or sundry. Both ideas seem like non-starters.

Regardless, no developer drops a million dollars on 2 lots unless he thinks there’s a payoff at the end of the day. Small single family houses on these long and narrow lots will never be able to pay for themselves. That’s why eventually Miami Planning and Zoning will be called upon to either rezone the lots to Multi-Family or Commercial use. The owner of these 2 contiguous lots would need no variance to build a monster home straddling the properties, but it would be hard to make any money doing that.

And, if Not Now Silly has learned anything in the 8 years covering Miami, it’s that developers always seem to get what they ask for. Even if it contravenes the Miami21 plan and offends the NCD2 oe NCD3 neighbourhood overlays. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Planning and Zoning.

Bottom line: There’s nothing in this massive redevelopment project for the people who live in West Grove. When all is said and done, this historic neighbourhood will be forced to deal with all the negative fallout of the project, without any of the benefits. The developers are now paying lip service to putting affordable housing in the project. There were also mutterings about hiring from within the community. However, these are promises that every developer in Miami gives to get permission to build, but never seem to deliver upon.

There will be an educational component to the theater program because that was mandated by the State of Florida. But nothing said they’ll educate children in the immediate community. The theater company, GableStage — which I have heard nothing but good things about — comes from outside the community, Coral Gables. [Please see my series No Skin In The Game; Part I; Part II; Part III] Because of the relative poverty of West Grove (due to decades of systemic racism) it’s unlikely the folks there will be able to afford the $45 tickets to any of the plays GableStage currently offers. I know I would have to budget hard for something like that.

This artist’s rendering hides the fact that behind the
Playhouse are small, 1-story Conch and Shotgun homes.

District 2 Commissioner Ken Russell needs to be more vocal and proactive about these neighbourhood concerns and how this project will negatively effect West Grove. In a recent encounter this reporter asked Russell whether he has a public stance on the Playhouse redevelopment project. He declined to give me a quote because it’s an issue he may one day find himself ruling on. However, there are some aspects of this massive redevelopment that he can comment on. Chief among them, is the increased truck and car traffic on the quiet residential streets of West Grove.

I already know what Miami-Dade and the Miami Parking Authority will say, because it’s been done before. They will claim, “We didn’t hear any complaints.” It’s unlikely they will hear complaints from the West Grove. These are people who have been ignored and marginalized for decades. After nearly a century of systemic racism, they’ve stopped complaining.

That’s why they need a champion, a Commissioner who will not ignore their travails.

This is a Miami-Dade project, not a City of Miami project. This means that Commissioner Russell has very little power to protect the historic West Grove neighbourhood from the fallout from this massive project on its doorstep. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try.

Update to the Update to “The Parking Garage Is The Thing”

I finally received a reply from Miami-Dade country, answering my questions of Thursday last.

I said in my previous post I would post these answers should they differ from those I got through my source. While the answers are quite similar, there are some slight differences. Here is the unedited reply to my email:

1). How many parking spaces are currently anticipated in the Playhouse redevelopment?

The current proposal would accommodate 449 spaces.

2). How many residential units in the Playhouse redevelopment?

The current proposal includes 31 units.

3). Of these residential units, how many are for Playhouse staff (however that’s loosely defined) and how many are for sale?

Units are contemplated to be rentals, possibly affordable housing units, but final determination will be subject to development, operating and management agreements which are not in place yet. Please note that the plans presented to the Historic and Environmental Preservation Board are for the master plan for the site and include preliminary concepts for the disposition of the existing building and the planned development.  The conceptual plan will continue to be refined as the drawings are further developed and quantities/sizes are likely to change.

4). How large is restaurant in the Playhouse redevelopment? Number of seating?

The proposed retail and/or food and beverage areas are comprised of approximately 10,000 square feet (in 3 levels) in the front building and approximately 5,000 square feet of new space adjacent to the garage.

5). How many retail outlets? Will the entire frontage (the Main & Charles sections) be retail?

The space is planned for retail and/or food and beverage (see answer to #4) but no agreements are in place at this time. It is possible that these spaces may have one or more operators.

While these figures are similar to those I received on Monday, there are some differences and some added information. However, it’s anticipated that there will be many changes to all of this as time marches on.

Is the OMNI CRA Expanding?

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The current boundaries of the OMNI CRA

A vote Thursday at Miami City Hall could be the lifeline West Grove needs to pull itself out from under decades of poverty and systemic racism.

District 2 Commissioner Ken Russell will introduce a motion at the Commission meeting to finance a $25,000 “Finding of Necessity” study to create a West Grove CRA or expand the boundaries of the OMNI CRA [Community Redevelopment Agency] into West Coconut Grove. [This would be a non-contiguous add on to the current Omni footprint.]

CRAs are designed to attack city blight and reduce slum conditions in neglected areas. To pull this off a trust is created, which is funded by increases in property tax revenues. This money can be used in a number of ways to improve residential, commercial, or infrastructure within the CRA district.

Creating a new CRA means that it could be many years before there’s enough money in the trust to start playing Monopoly and moving pieces around the board. In addition, a blighted area by itself would probably not have the tax base to generate much of a trust fund. You’d have to include parts of Center Grove in order to generate enough revenue to make it worthwhile.

Latching onto the OMNI CRA has its own pitfalls. To begin with the OMNI (or any) CRA Board consists of all 5 members of the Commission and two community members, who must live within the CRA district. Currently there are no West Grove members on the CRA Board for obvious reasons. However, even if West Grove became part of the OMNI, it would, at best, only get one seat on the board. However, there’s no guarantee of that. Furthermore, West Grove would be competing for monies that Overtown might be eyeing for its projects.


Looking east along Grand Avenue as rosy fingered dawn approaches

Further Reading at Now Now Silly:
Unpacking Coconut Grove

As I have done on previous occasions, this morning I arrived on Grand Avenue at 6AM and sat down on my customary bench at Hibiscus to watch the street come alive.

There was less to watch this day. One of the condemned buildings on the north side of Grand has finally been evacuated and boarded up. The building on the south side, which was also condemned, has far fewer residents than it used to, but people still live there among the rats, insects, mold, and mildew. I tried to speak to a gent in the courtyard smoking a cigar at dawn, but he just growled at me. I thought it might have been a language barrier until I saw him talking a bit later to one of the street people.


The moon about to set behind a condemned building that people are still living in

As dawn approached people started gathering at the gate for the Billy Rolle Domino Park, at Elizabeth. They arrive by foot and bicycle. This is where there are public washrooms, but the gate is locked until a city employee comes around and opens up the park for the day.

It never takes very long before I am approached by an itinerant salesperson. As I have explained previously, it’s odd being racially profiled. The truth is that most of the White folk who show up here are looking to score.

I took several walks around the neighbourhood and ended up at the Charlotte Jane Memorial Park Cemetery, where I spoke to a gent who was painting his mother’s grave stark white with a roller. At one time this was the only cemetery where Black folk could be buried in Miami.

Coconut Grove was once unique in this country because it had the highest percentage of Black home ownership than anywhere else. That cohesiveness that lasted decades is under attack from greed and gentrification, not to mention systemic pverty and racism. If West Grove is to survive in any meaningful way, with its demographics relatively intact, then a Community Redevelopment Agency just might be what it needs.

This is a story that Not Now Silly will be following anxiously.

Update to “The Parking Garage Is The Thing”

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This is an artists’ rendering of what that end of Charles Avenue will look like after they build this massive Garage-Condo-Restaurant-Theater-Entertainment-Plex. The building in the foreground will be known to longtime Not Now Silly readers as The Monstrosity, aka Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums. If you look carefully, you can just see the roof of the E.W.F. Stirrup House (peeking out from behind The Monstrosity, which dwarfs it), the last historic building the HEP Board voted to demolish in order save history.

This post is a follow-up to The Parking Garage is the Thing.

Something I did not mention in that post is how, after the HEP Board meeting, I introduced myself to Michael Spring, Miami-Dade’s Cultural Czar. We’ve spoken on the phone, but had never met.

Spring was the lynch-pin that brought all the competing factions together to craft a delicate plan to restore the Coconut Grove Playhouse before the deadline imposed by the State of Florida. Had the parties not been able to come to an agreement before the sunset clause, the state could have sold the land as surplus to the highest bidder. [Read: Developer.]

TO BE FAIR: Spring was busy when I approached. He and his group were basically giving each other High Fives, and trying not to appear too gleeful, after Miami’s Historic Board [HEP] signed onto the plan to demolish the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse in order to preserve history.

Knowing it was not the time for rambling conversation, I handed him my homemade business card and got to the point. After introducing myself said I’d be calling to get some specific questions answered. He replied that he would be happy to answer them. Nice finally meeting you, Same here. End of conversation.

I gave his office a call on Thursday and was told he was unavailable and would be going out of town the following day, but he would certainly get my message. I explained I was on deadline. Having already started writing the post, all I really needed was the answers to a few questions to finish it. I asked whether I could get answers to my specific questions if I sent them via email. While I was given no absolute guarantee, I was told they would try and get answers for me. Here’s the text of the email sent at noon on Thursday.

Here are the 5 Qs I have. I am asking because I heard a lot of numbers thrown around the other night and they didn’t always agree. (I know I said 4 on the phone, but thought of another.)

1). How many parking spaces are currently anticipated in the Playhouse redevelopment?
2). How many residential units in the Playhouse redevelopment?
3). Of these residential units, how many are for Playhouse staff (however that’s loosely defined) and how many are for sale?
4). How large is restaurant in the Playhouse redevelopment? Number of seating?
5). How many retail outlets? Will the entire frontage (the Main & Charles sections) be retail?

I appreciate any help you can give me in getting these answered before my (self-imposed) deadline.

I was still waiting for an answer on Saturday when I decided to ask one of my other sources, who promised to get back to me with answers. This source is always as good as their word. When, by Monday morning, I still had no answers from either Miami-Dade or my source, I finally published my post before it grew whiskers.

Consequently, I described what I knew and, most importantly, what I didn’t know in The Parking Lot is the Thing.

Late Monday afternoon my source got back to me with an apology because it took so long. Here are the answers to most of my questions. [If I ever hear back from Michael Spring’s office, we can compare these facts and figures and see how good my source really is.]

1). The parking garage has room for 460 cars.
2). There are 27 residential units in the parking garage.
3). Residences for visiting directors, writers, or actors is still up in the air, although these have been part of the plan since inception. If it happens, it’s anticipated these residences will be on the second floor of the front section of the Playhouse (the only part of the structure being saved). Of the 27 residential units, it is now anticipated that all of them will be “market value” rental properties.
4). The restaurant is 6,000 sq. ft. and will be probably be in a standalone building tucked between the parking garage and the Coconut Grove Playhouse, but could just as easily be attached to both buildings.
5). There will be 15,000 sq. ft. of retail; 10,000 of that in the facade building, the only part of being saved, with 5,000 sq. ft. in the parking garage building.

Once again I was cautioned that these numbers only represent what’s in the latest drawings, which I need to emphasize were never presented to the HEP Board on Tuesday before it voted. There will be more drawings, more plans, more numbers to come.

And, the Not Now Silly Newsroom will be there.

COMING SOON TO NOT NOW SILLY

How West Grove loses with this development

Why the Miami Parking Authority is too powerful

The Parking Garage Is The Thing

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LONG STORY SHORT: The City of Miami’s Historic and Environmental Preservation Board [HEP Board to Miami hep cats] voted 4-1 Tuesday to raze the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse in order to preserve its historic façade.

Confused yet? Not as confused as everyone was when it was revealed — but only near the very end of the meeting — that the HEP Board was merely approving the “concept only” of demolishing the historic theater, and not any of the myriad drawings, plans, and designs that were shown during the evening in order to sell the development project to the taxpayers of Miami. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

LONG STORY LONGER: I’ve seen a lot of Dog & Pony shows at Miami City Hall, but this one takes the cake.

As they always do, this one went on for several hours. First the developers (save one, which we’ll get to in a eventually) got to give several PowerPoint presentations that seemingly went on for 3 days (especially for me because this is the same Road Show that I attended at Ransom Everglades a couple of months back. It seemed to have only gotten longer since then).

One PowerPoint gave the entire history of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, from its inception as a movie theater 90 years ago, through its several renovations in the year since. Due deference was given to original designer Richard Kiehnel, of the famed Kiehnel and Elliott architectural firm, and Alfred Browning Parker, the ’50s “Miami Modernist”, who designed the live theater that was applied over Kiehnel’s Mediterranean-inspired design.

The Bright Plan

QUICK HISTORY LESSON: Before the (older) Coconut Grove was illegally annexed in 1925 by (the upstart) Miami, it ruled its own destiny.

The Movers & Shakers of Coconut Grove had big plans for paradise. To that end they hired Philadelphia architect John Irwin Bright, who came up with The Bright Plan, an ambitious redesign of downtown Coconut Grove. The new city hall (near where CocoWalk ended up) would have faced Biscayne Bay, with a large reflecting pool that ran down what became Macfarlane. This grand plan, which was never realized, was based upon Mediterranean architecture. While it didn’t come to fruition, one building from that plan was actually built. The Coconut Grove Theater opened in January of 1927 and was given a Mediterranean feel to match that of The Bright Plan. The rest is history.

The Dog & Pony Show descends into farce

We were led to believe — by those who were arguing for the theater’s ultimate demolition — that all the additions, subtractions, and renovations to Kiehnel’s original sublime movie house were, at best, architectural abominations and, at worst, an act of barbarism against humanity. [I might be exaggerating. Slightly.]

Next up on the double bill was the PowerPoint showing the current plans for the site’s footprint. We were shown drawings, elevations, blueprints, and artists’ renderings of the finished project in situ. During the presentation we were given enough facts and figures, to confuse anybody trying to pay attention. That PowerPoint lasted for at least a week. [I might be exaggerating. Slightly.]

The parking garage, that gigantic thing in the middle
of the development, dwarfs the rest of the project

However, none of that yakkity yak yak mattered in the final analysis because it was revealed right at the very end of the meeting — after all the PowerPoint presentations, after all the public input, and after all the developers had a chance for rebuttal — that:

  • 1). The drawings and the PowerPoint presentation we were just shown had already been supplanted by another — newer — set of drawings and blueprints that no one had seen yet, including the HEP Board;
  • 2). But, that didn’t even matter because the only thing being asked of the HEP Board that night was to give the developers an Up or Down vote to the “concept” of demolishing the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse, as opposed to approving the actual plans of buildings we just spent an eternity viewing. Each building, and every subsequent change, will have to come back before HEP for approval.

WAIT! WHAT?

I actually gasped when I realized the Dog & Pony Show had become a Bait & Switch.

I had driven in from Sunrise, to spend hours in a room colder than a meat locker, in order to listen to a developer’s pitch that I’d already heard before. I was frustrated to learn that the citizens of Miami had been given, in essence, fake news.

There was nothing taxpayers could say about it at that point because PUBLIC COMMENTS were already closed. The only people who could speak to that was the HEB Board members and they seemed disinclined to inquire why everybody’s time was wasted. I quickly texted one of my super duper, secret, anonymous sources, who seemed pretty gleeful at this turn of events:

ME: No real fireworks. The plan might not be approved. There’s no motion on the table yet.
SECRET SOURCE: I’m watching this [from home] and this is nuts… they are idiots. Now they [HEP Board] get the reso.

BTW: This startling info only came out after some probing questions posed by Lynn Lewis, the only HEP Board member to eventually vote NO to this plan to raze history in order to preserve history. She was trying to get to the bottom of some questions she had in determining whether she would table a motion to reject the plan.

That’s right, folks. It was only in the minutes just before a motion was put on the table, right near the end of a very long meeting, that the HEP Board realized what was really being voted on. Even I was fooled by what I had witnessed.

Lewis finally crafted a motion that rejected the plan and called for the developers to return with more concrete plans. She didn’t get a second and the motion withered on the dais. A motion to approve the plan “in concept only” was tabled and passed 4-1.

In the end, and is always the case in Miami, the developers got exactly what they wanted and needed.

A drawing of the 5 story, 513 slot, parking garage, which is now out of date. Not Now Silly has been told it’s already been reduced in size. However, I have been unable to get the current height or the amount of parking spaces.

The Parking Garage is the thing

As I mentioned above, one developer didn’t show themselves. That’s not exactly true. What is more accurate to say is that Art Noriega, Miami Parking Authority’s CEO, never gave a presentation. This despite the fact that the massive parking garage is one of the primary drivers of a lot of the decisions that have been made along the way.

However, I saw Noriega several times during the meeting peaking out from behind the dais. At various times he was on either side of the room or the other, lurking behind all the other city swells there to service the meeting (like city lawyers and such, who could answer legal questions if they came up). I’m sure if he had been needed, Noriega might have been called upon to answer any questions that came up. However, the huge, honking, parking garage was less a bone of contention than it deserved to be.

A mere 25 months ago, after I saw the first artistic drawings that a source had leaked me, I published The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse (Part I; Part II). These articles suggest that it’s the parking garage driving the theater redevelopment and not the other way around.

Nothing I heard on Tuesday changed my mind. In fact, the project seems to have morphed from a mere 5-story parking garage into a condo and restaurant development with a parking garage and small theater attached.

TO BE FAIR: There’s no denying that parking is sorely needed in that area, something I’ve written about previously after sitting in that parking lot for hours on end counting cars. Furthermore, continued development will make that need more dire. Immediately to the north of the Playhouse footprint is a plan for a 4-story office building fronting on Main Highway, which will probably have restaurants on the ground floor. [See rendering above.] Additionally, Ransom Everglades private school, just south of the Playhouse on the east side of Main Highway, is bursting its parking lots at the seams. Then consider that all those valets in front of the restaurants along Commodore Plaza (working for tips only) are desperate for nearby places to stash cars.

Not Now Silly has published stories about all these parking issues previously.

However, what was once a parking garage development project, with its 300-seat theater afterthought, will now also have residential condos, retail shops, and a restaurant.

Because there’s now a lot of misinformation swirling after the Dog & Pony Show Bait & Switch, I have been trying to get the definitive answers to the following questions:

  1. How many floors tall is the parking garage? [I’ve already been told it’s been downsized from 5, but have been cautioned not to say “4”.]
  2. How many parking spaces will be in the parking garage? [Downsized from 513.]
  3. How many residential condos are in the current development plans? [A crazy number I heard was 30, but that was when the garage was 5 stories.]
  4. How many of those are FOR SALE? [All of them I’ve been told off the record.]
  5. How many residential units are being created for visiting directors and actors at the theater? [This may no longer be part of the plan, or they may be in the front building, the only portion being saved.]
  6. How large is the restaurant? How many seats?
  7. How many retail stores will be in the front of the building? [The only portion being saved.]

There are a lot of unanswered questions and this massive development project never should have been passed without the HEP Board having more answers.

This is the only part of the historic Coconut Grove Playhouse that will be saved. It’s the narrow, sliver of the building on either sides of entrance, that brackets the corner of Charles Avenue and Main Highway. It will have retail spaces.

A 300 seat theater? You’re joking, right?

Miami is supposed to be a World Class City. What’s World Class about a theater that’s smaller than the auditoriums of several of the local schools?

Where’s the room for growth in a 300-seat theater?

GableStage, the company that will take over programming at the Coconut Grove Playhouse, currently operates in a 150-seat theater. It has the potential to double its audience. However, where does it go from there?

A 300-seat theater is not large enough to bring in touring musicians, who might be booked for nights the theater is dark. A 300-seat theater is not large enough to be rented out of community events when the theater is dark. As mentioned, the local school auditoriums are slightly larger.

People who are arguing for this configuration tell me Miami can’t support a bigger theater. That there are already large theaters in Miami that don’t sell out.

Detractors at the meeting kept reminding the citizens that the Playhouse failed as a much larger theater. However, a number of factors could have led to the Playhouse’s demise, from bad publicity, to the wrong kind of shows, to bad scheduling.

I contend that if you put on the right shows — including musical artists on nights when the stage is dark — you’ll draw clientele.

However, if you build a 300 seat theater, you’ll never draw more than that. This is nothing but small time, small town, small thinking.

This plan shows a second theater off the main theater.

TO BE FAIR: There is a plan to build a second theater on the same footprint that has 700 seats, in addition to the 300-seat room already passed “in concept”.

However, the 700-seat theater is unfunded. Getting the $40 million to build it is considered a long shot, at best, and will probably never be built.

It’s been my contention all along that a 300 seat theater is small time, small town, small thinking.

COMING SOON TO NOT NOW SILLY

How Will the Playhouse Redevelopment Hurt West Grove?

Why the Miami Parking Authority is too powerful