When the Not Now Silly interns spread out at night out into the innertubes, they are tasked with collecting Headlines Du Jour. One never knows exactly what they’ll come back with. Here is today’s catch:
FROM THE EX-PRESIDENTS’ FILE:
The former president follows in the footsteps of Glenn Beck, who addressed the group last year.
TODAY’S WEATHER REPORT:
AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!!
Marching orders for the authors of ‘The Wizard of Oz: The Official 75th Anniversary Companion’: Find new material about a film that’s been endlessly analyzed
FORBES KNOWS FINANCE:
NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:
TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:
SILLY PROSECUTOR CORNER:
demand to be called ‘Captain Justice’
Criticized in court for calling prosecutors ‘The Government,’ a Franklin lawyer demands a new title for himself
WHAT’S NEW IN FORD NATION?
dead’: New Rob Ford video surfaces
Ford snaps the rubber band of human tolerance: Mallick
There appears to be no limit to the shameful and extraordinary
spectacle that is the mayoralty of Rob Ford.
Rob Ford’s mom says weight is his biggest problem
Rob Ford’s mother says mayor needs to
‘smarten up’ — but not go to rehab
Diane Ford says her son needs to get a driver, lose
weight, get an alcohol tester on his car, stop hanging
with bad friends, and maybe get some counselling.
IN HIGH FINANCE:
IN SLAVERY NEWS:
FROM THE FAR-FLUNG STATES:
ANOTHER POT RELATED DEATH:
Michael Saffioti, 22, faced a misdemeanor charge in Washington, guards said he was “faking” serious food allergy
IN SEX NEWS:
165-million-year-old fossil shows Chinese insects copulating
VIDEO DU JOUR:
This Woman Was About To Go In For Surgery. What She Did Moments Before Was Awesome