Headlines Du Jour ► January 2, 2014

I was recently asked, “What makes a Headline Du Jour?” The first line of defense, as always, is my army of drone robots. They spend the long nights traversing the innertubes, collecting only the best headlines — at the peak of perfection. The hardest part is keeping the robot drones from becoming self-aware, which is why I’ve limited their RAM. Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Racism Literally Costs America $2 Trillion…Ready to Stop Payment?

FREE THE WEED!!!

This Iraq War Vet Was First to
Buy Legal Pot in Colorado

Six Things You Should Know
About Buying Pot In Colorado

South America May Be On the Verge Of a Marijuana Legalization Tidal Wave

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

On Christmas, Republicans Quietly Declare War on Themselves

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Watch: Party Girl Says ‘We’re Gonna
F*ck Sh*t Up!” Live on Fox News

Kelly Wright, Juan Williams Pimp Christian
Right’s America Founded On Faith Meme

GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

Duck Dynasty Patriarch Hates On Chinese, Says Muslims Are ‘Famous For Murder’

Franklin Graham chides Christians
for not fighting beside Phil
Robertson in ‘religious war’

‘Suck Dynasty’? Reality stars fizzle in awkward Fox New Year’s interview

Watch the Giant Rubber
Duck Pop and Deflate

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Law firm demands Florida man remove racist
‘commercial or whatever it is’ from Internet

WHOOOPS!!!

Customs officials destroy virtuoso flautist’s 11
instruments because they
were ‘agricultural products’

FROM OUTER SPACE:

NASA’s Hubble Sees Cloudy
Super-Worlds With
Chance for More Clouds

Video: Sun has ‘flipped upside down’ as new magnetic cycle begins

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

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