Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, January 9, 2014

Good morning, Headliners. It’s time once again to take the pulse of the world and see what your neighbours will be talking about later today. So grab a cup of java, put your cell phone on vibrate only, and settle in with today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Oklahoma man killed
stepfather with ‘atomic
wedgie,’ authorities say

LGBT NEWS:

Breaking: Utah Gov. Tells 1360 Legally Married
Same-Sex Couples Their Unions Are Invalid

FROM OUTER SPACE:

UFO Causes German Airport To Divert Flights

Fox Guest: Minimum Wage Is Just ‘Black Teenage Unemployment Act’

‘Gates of Hell’: Fox News
Pairs Ann Coulter with
Unfortunate Chyron

Colbert Calls Out Fox’s Hollow Climate Change Attack

TODAY’S COLD CASE:

Burglars Who Took On F.B.I. Abandon Shadows

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Lawmaker fires handgun in Kentucky Capitol: ‘I am a gun owner… It happens’

I NEVER META-DATA I DIDN’T LIKE:

Graphs by MIT Students Show the Enormously Intrusive Nature of Metadata

MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

16 Reasons to Go to Detroit Right Now

Detroit’s historic Brush Park may finally see a revival

Rebuilding Detroit’s first and last neighborhood

Nod to 1300 Lafayette

WHEN DO WE ADMIT THAT CAPITALISM HAS NOT WORKED?

Bring Back the WPA

Why we should give free money to everyone

TODAY IN FLORI-DUH NEWS:

Florida man bites neighbor’s
ear off over a cigarette

Toxic Tush Doc Oneal Morris to Begin
Prison Sentence (in the Male Population)

CLIMATE CHANGE, GLOBAL WARMING, & CHARLETANS

Linking Weather Extremes to Global Warming

Yes, It’s Cold — and Yes, Global
Warming Is Still Happening

RELIGION CORNER:

Pat Robertson: Global warming is a scam because there are no SUVs on Jupiter

America’s First ‘Pastafarian’
Official Sworn into Office

Pastafarian minister sworn into office

FREE THE WEED!!!

Fox News contributor Ben Carson: Marijuana causes flashbacks years after use

Chris Hayes: Bill O’Reilly Wrong On Pot Arrests

Jon Stewart blasts cable anchors panicking over legal pot: ‘You’re a f*cking idiot’

O’Reilly Fires Back at Jon Stewart, ‘Can’t Imagine’ Chinese Kids Being Addicted to Texting

Kevin Hart and Ice Cube Aggressively
Mock Nancy Grace’s Anti-Weed Comments

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

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