Good morning, Headliners. It’s time once again to take the pulse of the world and see what your neighbours will be talking about later today. So grab a cup of java, put your cell phone on vibrate only, and settle in with today’s Headlines Du Jour.
BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:
Oklahoma man killed
stepfather with ‘atomic
wedgie,’ authorities say
LGBT NEWS:
Breaking: Utah Gov. Tells 1360 Legally Married
Same-Sex Couples Their Unions Are Invalid
FROM OUTER SPACE:
UFO Causes German Airport To Divert Flights
FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:
Fox Guest: Minimum Wage Is Just ‘Black Teenage Unemployment Act’
‘Gates of Hell’: Fox News
Pairs Ann Coulter with
Unfortunate Chyron
Colbert Calls Out Fox’s Hollow Climate Change Attack
TODAY’S COLD CASE:
Burglars Who Took On F.B.I. Abandon Shadows
GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:
Lawmaker fires handgun in Kentucky Capitol: ‘I am a gun owner… It happens’
I NEVER META-DATA I DIDN’T LIKE:
Graphs by MIT Students Show the Enormously Intrusive Nature of Metadata
MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:
16 Reasons to Go to Detroit Right Now
Detroit’s historic Brush Park may finally see a revival
Rebuilding Detroit’s first and last neighborhood
WHEN DO WE ADMIT THAT CAPITALISM HAS NOT WORKED?
Why we should give free money to everyone
TODAY IN FLORI-DUH NEWS:
Florida man bites neighbor’s
ear off over a cigarette
Toxic Tush Doc Oneal Morris to Begin
Prison Sentence (in the Male Population)
CLIMATE CHANGE, GLOBAL WARMING, & CHARLETANS
Linking Weather Extremes to Global Warming
Yes, It’s Cold — and Yes, Global
Warming Is Still Happening
RELIGION CORNER:
Pat Robertson: Global warming is a scam because there are no SUVs on Jupiter
America’s First ‘Pastafarian’
Official Sworn into Office
Pastafarian minister sworn into office
FREE THE WEED!!!
Fox News contributor Ben Carson: Marijuana causes flashbacks years after use
Chris Hayes: Bill O’Reilly Wrong On Pot Arrests
Jon Stewart blasts cable anchors panicking over legal pot: ‘You’re a f*cking idiot’
O’Reilly Fires Back at Jon Stewart, ‘Can’t Imagine’ Chinese Kids Being Addicted to Texting
Kevin Hart and Ice Cube Aggressively
Mock Nancy Grace’s Anti-Weed Comments
VIDEO DU JOUR:
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