Tag Archives: Falafel King

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #3

Welcome to the 3rd Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Points Memo.  

Loofah Lad squeezes out a load like this one every single day and calls it a Talking Point Memo. It’s always interesting to read between the lines in order to figure out WTF he’s really saying when he’s pontificating. Freud could have had a field day with him. Since Freud is not here, I’ll give it a shot.

Today’s topic: O’Reilly called it “White Grievance and the Republican Party.” I call it, “In How Many New Ways Can I Defend My Good Buddy Donald J. Trump While Blowing Dog Whistles?” Let’s get right to it, shall we?

All the polls say the same thing: Donald Trump’s rise is being fueled
largely by white men who are angry with both political parties.

Not to mention all that free publicity the media has given him, especially on Fox “News” with all the softball interviews he gets there. Like on your show, f’rinstance Bill O. I can’t wait to see how you WHITEwash all of this on behalf of your vanilla milkshake buddy. Go on. Entertain me.

At this point 47% of Republican women say they will not vote for Mr. Trump, according to a Wall Street Journal/NBC poll.

Which merely proves women are the smarter gender, but not all women.

So it is the guys who have catapulted the candidate to the top of the Republican primary pack.

According to the Washington Post, Donald Trump is favored by 50% of
Republican voters who make less than $50,000 a year, most of them men.

Also, Mr. Trump is supported by just 32% of Republicans who have
college degrees, according to polling from 20 Republican primary states.

So you can see that Trump’s support is largely coming from working-class white men who feel aggrieved.

I tend to think of them as working-class White men who have been brainwashed into thinking they’re aggrieved. I look at them as soft racists — if not actually hardcore racists — who see equality as a zero sum game: If a group of folks are having their Civil Rights respected, these fools somehow think something is being taken away from them.

Now we’ve seen this before.  The black grievance industry is a powerful presence in America.

Wait!!! What???  Did you just change the topic to create a false equivalency?

That group sells the notion that most problems in the
African-American precincts are caused by white people and historical
oppression.

OH, MY!!!

You actually did change the topic to create a false equivalency. And then you blew your dog whistle. Let’s unpack your White Privilege, shall we Mr. Falafel? Because only a White man who doesn’t recognize his White Privilege would allow such manure to escape from his lips.

Are you saying there was no racism in the country? Or, are you saying that racism is over?

I’m so glad we’re living in a post-racial society. FINALLY!!! /sarcasm

Listen, Loofah Lad: Even if one were to buy your bullshit argument that there are are no legitimate grievances in “African-American precincts” to be attributed to “White people and historical oppression,” can you not see how that “historic oppression” has continued to create an uneven playing field when it comes to wealth creation and inheritances, not to mention the quality of neighbourhoods that each group tend to live within?

While the media gives that view a lot of attention, most African-Americans reject the propaganda.

And, you’ll prove that, right?

A recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation says that 61% of
American blacks believe the breakup of the African-American family is a
major reason for the economic deprivation and social problems in the
black community.

Wait just a gosh darn minute. You do realize that both can be true at the same time, doncha?

Just because 61% of Black folk “believe the breakup of the African-American family is a major reason for the economic deprivations and social problems in the Black community” (and, I’ll assume your number is correct despite the many fibs you’ve told over the years), doesn’t mean that Black folk don’t also recognize, and fully understand, the “historic oppression” that got them there.

One fact does not negate the other. Unless you’re just blowing another dog whistle in which facts are manipulated to create a false narrative.

Oh, wait!

I thought this was going to be about your good friend Trump’s aggrieved constituency: Poor, uneducated, racist voters. Sorry I interrupted.

On the white side the issue is similar.

Here we go. Back on topic. Thank you.

Many white Americans believe that illegal immigration hurts their job
prospects and are angered by changing neighborhoods and social
patterns.

And, there’s your false equivalency in a nut shell, asshole.

You’ve just alluded to the fact that Black folk have no right to feel aggrieved because they only have themselves to blame — and they even admit it — but White folk are legitimately spooked by “changing neighborhoods [sic] and social patterns”. In your false equivalency you’re not even giving equal weight to both sides in your false argument. You see nothing wrong with that as long as it helps Trump. Just another reason you’re a hack, as I correctly called you in The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #2.

Their refrain is often, I want my country back.

Back to when Black folk knew their place, perhaps?

These voters are tired of seeing welfare doled out to people who are not motivated to succeed.

How many dog whistles you got?

They are angry that terrorists are not being contained.

Doncha mean radical Islamist terrorists? And, what does “contained” even mean in such an asymmetrical war?

Oh, and, Muslim dog whistle.

They see the Republican Party as largely cowardly in the face of political correctness.

I see the people who reject political correctness as saying, “Rude as I wanna be,” just like the meme to the right I tricked up back in August.

Incidentally, I love how you’re using the word “they,” but you’re really not only talking about yourself, but using this Talking Point Memo to excuse the worst aspects of Trump’s campaign. Like weaving in “political correctness”.

Remember when your friend Trump said he had no time to be politically correct? The Anti-PC Police Squad™ has long been a fixture of the Fox “News” Channel, as you must know.

Never mind. You were saying. Any more reasons why White folk are the real victims and only your pal Donald Trump can save us?

The white grievance crew also believes they are being oppressed economically and that nobody is looking out for them.

But, you’re looking out for us, aren’t you Mr. Falafel? You’ll tell us what to believe and who to believe, won’t you?

Enter Donald Trump, who vividly reflects the anger, who has criticized his own party for being weak.

Now both the black and white grievance movements have some legitimate points.

Wait! That’s not what you said above. You were dismissive of the Black grievance industry.

Anyway, do go on. My eyes can’t roll any farther away than they have already. How are Blacks folks’ grievances legitimate? This should be good.

There is no question that in poor black neighborhoods schools are generally deficient because the property tax base is low.

So poor black children are not being educated as well as affluent children.

That’s true.

Yes, it’s true. And, why is that, you obtuse piece of crap?

Because of systemic and ongoing racism!!!

U.S. cities look the way they do — and the property taxes are such — because of White Flight, redlining, just two aspects of the “historic oppression” that you blithely dismissed out of hand as of no consequence.

You also seem to feel that systemic racism has been eradicated, when it clearly has not been. Otherwise, poor Black children would be as educated as poor White children, never mind any stupid false equivalency with affluent White children.

On the white side, here’s a simple example: The Republican Party did
not get behind Kate’s Law, which would have harshly punished illegal
alien felons who defy deportation.

WAIT!!!

How did we get from that to one of your pet projects, not to mention one of your favourite Muslim dog whistles?

It doesn’t matter because you just — once again — pointed out your own racism. Answer me this, Sherlock, how is this strictly a White issue? If it’s as important as you say it is, shouldn’t it cross all racial lines? 

While GOP senators like Grassley, McCain and Cruz did actively try to
get Kate’s Law passed, the Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell did
not.

And in general Republican politicians did not raise the flag on this issue.

I mean, when you control both houses of Congress and you cannot get Kate’s Law passed, there is a serious problem.

Or, maybe it’s just a stupid law that you are championing. But, again, you’re just playing defense for your BFF Trump. The funniest part is that you actually believe you are in the No Spin Zone. My eyes are spinning from where you’ve taken this Talking Points Memo.

Again, Donald Trump has tapped into that chaos.

Thank goodness we’re back on topic.

Going forward, Mr. Trump’s nomination is not a lock.

Thank goodness there are still smart people in this country who are banding together to stop this demagogue before it’s too late. First they came for the Mexicans . . .

He has made mistakes and will have to win over millions of Americans who do not believe he is qualified.

The majority of ‘Merkins don’t believe he’s qualified and if he somehow manages to snag the GOP nomination, which is starting to look less and less likely, he will be destroyed in the General Election. And, the GOP will be on the endangered species list, especially if the Republican Convention becomes a brokered one. [Pass the popcorn.]

If you believe the polls, Mr. Trump is in for a rough day tomorrow in Wisconsin.

Let’s hope so.

That being said, the issue of white grievance is not going away and Trump will maintain a loyal level of support.

Among the poor, uneducated, xenophobic racists that want to make ‘Merka great again. Everyone else, as you have already made the case above, are fleeing from this sinking ship.

Many of his supporters are furious, and if Mr. Trump does not get the
nomination, the stay-home vote next November is likely to be
substantial.

Pass the popcorn.

And that’s the memo. [Transcript provided by Bill O’Reilly.]

And that’s my answer, ‘cept:

Don’t you get winded blowing so many dog whistles, Loofah Lad? After all, you’re not a young man anymore. But, you’re still an aggrieved racist White man.

Bill O’Reilly and Flavor Flav ► Throwback Thursday

Happy birthday to Flavor Flav, born and named William Jonathan Drayton, Jr., 57 years ago today.

There’s a strange nexus between Flavor Flav and the Fox “News” Channel which requires further explanation.

When I first started writing for NewsHounds — under the nom de blog Aunty Em Ericann — one of the bizarre rumours I heard concerned Flavor Flav and Bill O’Reilly, who would prefer to DO IT LIVE!!!

The crazy rumour was this: That before Maureen E. McPhilmy married Bill O’Reilly — aka Loofah Lad — she once dated Flavor Flav. I know! Right?

This was the kind of job the Not Now Silly Newsroom was made for and I set out to get this wacky story confirmed or denied.

It took a while, but I finally got Flavor Flav ON THE RECORD concerning this rumour. He denied wholeheartedly that he ever dated the ex-wife of the Falafel King, but it certainly made him laugh. It made me laugh, too. Still does.

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #2

Welcome to the 2nd Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo

The Falafel King drops one of these piles every weekday and, if I were so inclined, I could answer him every day, but life’s too short for that. Today, Loofah Lad wants to pontificate on the The State of the Republican Party, but he’s really defending his good buddy, Donald J. Trump.

I have to say I’m a bit surprised that Don Rickles is now apparently a Republican contender.

I’m not. I’m just surprised that someone who has called hundreds — maybe thousands — of people “pinheads” would be concerned about the mud being thrown in the GOP race. This is merely your attempt at a false equivalency in order to deflecting from Trump’s hateful comments about Mexicans, Muslims, women, John McCain, the handicapped, Megyn Kelly, and everyone else he’s attacked over the years. However, do play us a supercut your staff put together of how they’re all doing it.

DONALD TRUMP: “So I’m looking at little Marco and I’m saying man there’s something happening with him and he’s like melting.”

((EDIT))

MARCO RUBIO: “He’s always calling me little Marco.  I’ll admit, he’s taller than me – he’s like 6’2’’ – which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2’’.” (LAUGHS) ((EDIT)) And you know what they say about men with small hands?”

((EDIT))

TRUMP: “You had to see him backstage.  He was putting on makeup with a trowel! (Mimics using a roller to apply his makeup) ((EDIT)) I will not say that he was trying to cover up his ears!”

((EDIT))

RUBIO: “He doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he uses!”

Now that’s not exactly the Lincoln-Douglas debate is it?

Well, no. It’s not even in Kennedy-Nixon territory. Hell, it’s not even the neighbourhood of the Bentsen-Quayle debate.

However, you have called people names for decades. Stop clutching your pearls and take credit for the coarsening of the ‘Merkin Culture you brought about.

Oh, wait. You have an alternate theory, doncha?

But here’s why it’s happening:

Oh, this should be good. Do tell.

In the beginning of the campaign, Donald Trump did something very brilliant.  He staked out two essential issues that he knew Republican voters were angry about: the border and the economy.

But rather than getting into policy, Mr. Trump kept it simple.  He’ll build a wall and deport illegal aliens.

He’ll make deals that will turn the economy around and punish countries like China and Mexico that he believes are treating the USA unfairly.

That quickly got the new candidate a lot of attention and criticism.

To be fair: It got your vanilla milkshake drinking BFF a lot of attention and even more valid criticism. However, I hardly think spewing racism and xenophobia is very brilliant. That’s when this whole race started going south — both puns intended.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to drinking my M-Fing ice tea. Forget I interrupted.

Then what, Loofah Lad?

Trump then immediately counter-attacked, using hot rhetoric that most politicians would never even consider.

Which you continue to defend to this very day. It’s not presidential. Of course, you’d be having a fit if any Democratic candidate said anything slightly critical of Donald Trump.

That got him even more popularity.  The more he insulted, the higher his poll numbers climbed.

Historians will be trying to figure this election out for decades to come. Is this the year Racism and Xenophobia trump logic and good governance?

So he’s two for two.  He chooses emotional issues, simplifying them for potential voters, then scorches anyone who doesn’t like it.

That’s not why he scorches people, you sanctimonious liar. He scorches people because he’s a narcissistic psychopath.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading the Paris Business Review.

Even if you don’t like Mr. Trump, you have to admit the strategy has been brilliant and he would not be leading in the polls today if he had not employed it.

It’s only a brilliant strategy if you admire appealing to people’s fears and worse instincts.

OH! WAIT!! Look who I’m talking to. Never mind. I’ll go back to reading about Dr. Tiller’s murder. 

The other Republican candidates were taken by surprise as he hammered Jeb Bush and anyone else Trump considered to be a rival.

After months of watching Trump’s poll numbers go up, finally Senators Rubio and Cruz began to counterattack in the same way.

The problem for both Rubio and Cruz is that Americans do not know them, and the media has paid so much attention to Donald Trump that getting well known is almost impossible.

Unless of course you hurl insults, which is what Marco Rubio is now doing.

No. The problem is that Rubio and Cruz left it far too late to start telling the truth and attacking your racist and xenophobic milkshake buddy, Donald J. Trump. BTW: I think it’s telling that they are vanilla milkshakes. You can buy those Freudian Slips at Frederick’s of Hollywood.

Sorry, I interrupted again. Go ahead, let’s hear more of your bullshit false equivalency.

For his part Cruz is hammering Trump in a different way:

TED CRUZ: “There have been multiple media reports about Donald’s business dealings with the mob, with the mafia.  Maybe his taxes show those business dealings are a lot more extensive than has been reported.”

Now I don’t believe anyone’s tax returns are going to give insight into organized crime.  Mr. Cruz obviously casting aspersions on Mr. Trump.

Aspersions? It’s well-documented that Trump’s companies dealt with other companies that were mobbed-up. The tax returns may not show that, but you get Bonus Points for deflection, Mr. Falafel King.

But all of this negative stuff hasn’t really altered the race so far.

Because, as I said above, it’s too little, too late. Cruz and Rubio should have been hammering Trump on his bankruptcies, Trump University, the KKK, and his freakishly small hands starting last year. Now it just looks like tit-for-tat mud slinging and almost nothing is getting traction, even Trump’s latest smears on his opponents.

Recent polls say Mr. Trump is leading in all the Super Tuesday states with the exception of Texas, Ted Cruz’s home state.

Which is why ‘Merka is becoming a laughing stock all over again around the world. You thought George W. Bush was reviled around the world? There are already countries who are working to make YOUR FRIEND Donald J. Trump persona non grata.

So it looks like tomorrow Trump will prevail again.  It is how close Cruz and Rubio can keep the vote that is uncertain.

The south is friendly territory to Donald Trump.  

And, racists everywhere. That is hardly a ringing endorsement.

When the votes shift to the northeast and Midwest, his challenge might grow but by that time he might have things sewn up.

If that happens, if Trump is the Republican nominee, you can expect a media assault on him that will be unprecedented.

Every day the press will hammer Trump, exposing every part of his life.

And, you are doing your best to pre-inoculate the voters against any factual attacks on YOUR GOOD FRIEND, Donald J. Trump.

Trump is getting ready:

TRUMP: “So that when the New York Times writes a hit piece, which is a total disgrace, or when the Washington Post, which is there for other reasons, writes a hit piece, we can sue them and win money instead of having no chance of winning because they’re totally protected.”

Mr. Trump talking about what he would do as president, attempt to change the libel laws, but he can’t do that now.

Don’t you care about the First Amendment, Loofah Lad? Or are you only concerned about the 2nd Amendment?

And believe me the press is just waiting.

So now it’s a media conspiracy to sink the worst presidential candidate to come down the pike. What else you got that we can laugh at?

A preview is this David Duke stuff, a complete non-story.  I’ve spoken with Trump hundreds of times.  I have never heard him run down anyone because of race.

He does not care about that.

A non-story? And, how would you know if you ever heard him say anything about race when you blow the same dog whistle he does? Your ears are no longer attuned to hear the racist hate disguised by your White Privilege!

The GOP madness is of course good news for Hillary Clinton, who has major problems of her own but who the American press will get behind.

Newspaper endorsements for president will run 20:1 Clinton.

What if she’s 20 times better for ‘Merka than your Racist and Xenophobic friend Donald Trump? Wouldn’t she then deserve the endorsements?

So the question becomes, can Donald Trump bring in millions of new voters to overcome his deficit among the press, minorities and other groups that may not like him?

People who may not like him? This isn’t the competition for Prom King. This is a Winner Take All contest to decide the next President of the United States. Your decades-long friendship with this Racist Xenophobe disqualifies you from even commenting on this election, but that’s never stopped you from misinforming your viewers before.

Trump thinks he can do it and has confounded his critics thus far.

He’s confounded Good Ol’ ‘Merkin Common Sense. Hopefully the electorate will wake up and see Trump for the Racist and Xenophobic Charlatan he really is. Even tho’ Joe Scarborough finally saw the light, it’s clear that you never will.

And that’s the memo.

 And, that’s why you’re nothing but a hack, O’Reilly. 

The Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memo #1

I’ve read and watched so many of these Talking Point Memos, I could probably write one. All one needs do is use as many of the 7 types of propaganda techniques as possible.

With this post the Not Now Silly Newsroom tests the watters [geddit?] for a new series of Annotated Bill O’Reilly Talking Point Memos. Aunty Em used to do this over at NewsHounds with Glenn Beck’s Comedy Caliphate when he was still slinging the crazy over at the Fox “News” Channel. It’s a lot of fun and it usually got a good reaction. Let me know what you think. Weigh in and let me know whether I should continue.

In order to win the presidency in 2016 both the Republican and Democratic candidate will have to get a good amount of votes from Hispanic Americans.

But the leading GOP is doing everything in his power to drive them away. Therefore, you’ve got to make people afraid.

On Thanksgiving the New York Times ran an editorial that pretty much laid out what the liberal viewpoint is on people coming to live in America.

Of course, almost all the other times O’Reilly, or Fox “News,” mentions the NYTs it is to trash it. But, do go on. I’m fascinated to learn where this is going.

Point number one: The left no longer distinguishes between illegal aliens and those who come here legally.

Of course, you can show where the NYTs said exactly that, right? I thought not. I’ve done several searches and while this is not conclusive proof, I couldn’t find it. But, I’d be happy to link it HERE if anyone points it out to me.

All foreign nationals who enter are now described by the Times and others as immigrants.

All? That’s a sweeping statement. Even I hedged above when I said, “…almost all the other times O’Reilly, or Fox “News,” mentions the NYTs…” But, things are just Black and White to you, no pun intended.

And if you use the term illegal alien, you are a bigot.

Uh, oh! Someone must have called Loofah Lad a bigot recently.

Point two: The left believes that any fence on the southern border is nativist bigotry that is a hateful action towards non-Americans, especially Hispanics.

Any fence? Again, a sweeping statement. I don’t know anybody who is against a border fence. But, you’re just calling it a “fence” to cover for the GOP’s head bigot, Donald Trump, who wants to build a yuuuuuuuge wall to keep out all the rapists and criminals he talks about.

Point number three: The left wants open borders, no restrictions on those who come here, no detention, no physical barrier, no deportation proceedings unless a serious crime other than illegal entry is committed.

I have yet to hear anyone advocate that. Which orifice are you pulling your facts from?

And if you disagree with that you are a promoting an anti-immigrant police state.

We already have a police state. That’s what ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬ is all about.

Point four: The left says all immigrants — again illegal and legal — should be welcomed and assimilated.

Again, I have yet to hear anyone advocate for that. Altho’, I have heard people with good hearts talk about welcoming Syrian refugees. Is this what this is really about? Syrian refugees?

And not only that, the government should give them money to settle in and they should be immediately eligible for all the entitlements Americans can secure.

An earlier Talking Point Memo delivered without a hint of irony

You’re really pushing every negative and already debunked trope you can think of, ain’t you?

Point five: All illegal aliens already here should be put on a pathway to citizenship.

What is your proposal, Falafel King? You can’t deport them all. And, you can’t have a second tier of U.S. resident, where some immigrants are allowed to become citizens and others are not. I’d love to hear your proposal.

The left wants full amnesty.

The Rabid Right wants deportation. What’s the ‘Merkin thing to do? You’re a Catholic, Bill O. What would Jesus do?

And finally point number six: The left wants free lawyers for all immigrants so they can gather up the entitlements and citizenship requirements.

Actually, the Constitution requites lawyers. That whole “You have a right to remain silent” speech ends with an acknowledgment of that.

At the end of the editorial in the New York Times, the paper asks is that so radical?

Okay, I just went and looked again. I’ve not found the editorial you speak of. Could you just point it out to me so I can see how you’ve misquoted it, if it even exists at all.

The answer of course is yes, open borders, full amnesty, complete entitlement access is indeed radical and dangerous to public order and safety.

Be afraid! Be very Afraid!!

But that is the vision of the Democratic Party.

WAIT! I thought you said it was the entire Left Wing, but now it’s just the Democratic Party?

Not everyone, but you will not hear many Democrats go up against that, as the Kate’s Law debate demonstrated.

WAIT!!! You just said it was the entire Democratic Party. Which is it. Who are you talking about?

Now many believe this is a pure political strategy, that flooding the nation with foreigners — many of whom will get the right to vote — strengthens the Democratic Party.

An earlier Talking Point Memo delivered without a hint of irony

Call me crazy, but I think immigration strengthens the nation. But that’s just me.

But there is much more in play.

And, you’ll let us in on the secret of this Left Wing Cabal, right? I’m breathless with anticipation.

The radical left immigration vision would profoundly change all of America’s traditions, all of them.

WAIT!!! Now it’s just the radical left. Make up your mind. You can’t keep moving the target like this.

And that’s what the left wants because that ideology sees the American Judeo-Christian tradition as oppressive, exploitative and a white-privilege legacy.

Now this screed makes sense. I get it now. You’re worried about your precious White Privilege being taken away, ain’t you? You’re downright scared, ain’t you?

Thus, the uber-left wants traditional America wiped off the face of the earth.

WAIT!!! Now it’s just the uber-left? That’s the fringiest of the fringe. You’re scaremongering about those crazy outliers?

That’s what is truly going on and if Americans don’t wise up quickly, the left-wing vision of immigration may very well become a reality.

That’s not what’s going on at all. You pulled all of that out of your ass to create a strawman you’ve conditioned your brain-dead viewers to believe is their enemy.

And that’s the memo.

One of the biggest piles you’ve ever crapped out, which is why I decided to annotate it.

Not a single word of Loofah Lad’s has been omitted or changed. For comparison, the entire Talking Points Memo without annotation can be found here, because I show my work, unlike Loofah Lad. 

Bill “The Falafel King” O’Reilly Born ► Throwback Thursday

Yes, he actually said this without a hint of irony

If there’s any single person that I wish we could throw back, it’s Fox “News” fabulist and serial exaggerator Bill O’Reilly. 

Loofah Lad is a Fox “News” anchor, both literally and figuratively, because he’s the highest rated liar on Fox, just not the only liar.

O’Reilly calls himself a cultural warrior battling all those forces of evil that most of us accept as part of a multiracial, pluralistic society. Entire books and websites have been written about this man, so I won’t bother. However, the reason he’s perfect for this rubric is he wants to throwback the country to the lily White suburbs of of his ’50s Levittown, where he grew up; a man so uncomfortable around Black folk, that every time he brings up the issue of race, he embarrasses himself.

Bill is a Catholic, who is getting a divorce. He’s now engaged in an ugly battle with his ex-wife, where he’s been accused of domestic violence:

The transcript includes testimony from Larry Cohen, a psychologist appointed to interview and make assessments about each member of the family during the dispute. (Note that “M.” refers to O’Reilly’s daughter.)

“M. [his daughter] reported — having seeing an incident where I believe she said her dad was choking her mom or had his hands around her neck and dragged her down some stairs.”  

 Meanwhile, The Falafel King lectures and hectors ‘Merka to live exemplary lives.

Can we throw him back already?

As is traditional in his falsely titled No Spin Zone, we’ll give Bill the last word:

Spring Is Sprung 2015 ► Unpacking The Writer

Spring forward. Snark back.

I miss Spring. I also miss Fall. I don’t miss winter, but I do miss the change of the seasons.

For the most part Florida has no seasons other than Hurricane Season. My first Hurricane Season in Florida, I met Wilma face-to-face.

In other climates Spring stands for renewal, rebirth, growth. It means climbing out of a long, dark winter and crawling into the sunlight. Meanwhile, Fall contains the most gorgeous colours in nature, various shades of brown, orange and gold that light up the trees. Spring and Fall are just two of the things I gave up when I left Canada to take care of Pops in Florida after my mom died 9 years ago.

As I write these words, I have another problem working at the back of my mind. I’m trying to decide whether I want to go to tonight’s Tequesta Drum Circle Spring Equinox Celebration. I’ve written before about my love of banging 2 pieces of wood together. I’ve found some wonderful friends by playing my claves

Four times a year — on the change of the seasons — the Tequesta Drum Circle takes up a section of Hugh Taylor Birch State Park. which is on the spit of land between the ocean and the intercoastal. This is the largest local drumming event. It’s just under 13 miles due east of me as the crow flies, but it’s easier to drive along Sunrise Boulevard.

Claves, aka 2 pieces of wood

I wrote about going to my first and, so far, my only Tequesta Drum Circle in A Pagan Pastoral Letter. Long story short: That night I was desperately seeking spirituality (the irony is not lost on me). What I found instead was a crowded field with a fire at one end and tiny tent villages around the periphery. The field was teaming with people. No matter where I walked, or stood, or sat, I found myself jostled constantly.

It was impossible to relax, which is what I like to be doing when I am banging 2 pieces of wood together. Normally, during a drum circle I close my eyes, slip into a Zen groove, and see how many minutes I can lose to non-thought. I drift within the rhythm and add my little syncopated clicks to the boomba-boomba-boomba-boom of the drums — both big and small — all around me. When it all works, and I’m in the groove, I hear my part not as 2 pieces of wood, but more like those embellishments added by Scat singers or a horn section. My brain converts what is strictly a rhythm swirling around me into full band arrangements of tunes I’m writing in my head, on the fly, as I fall deeper into the groove.

While I didn’t go to the Tequesta Winter Solstice with a lot of expectations (other than finding peace and spirituality, of course), I didn’t quite figure it would be like going to a concert with festival seating and, when none of the bands showed up, the audience burned down the stage, howled at the moon, and made their own music by banging on anything handy. [Hoo boy, some of my drumming friends will hate that simile; others may not. Writers may marvel at that run-on sentence.]

I may not decide to go to the Tequesta Spring Solstice Drum Circle until I go. Or, I may not even decide. But, all this to say my attention is divided. That’s why this will be a shorter than usual Unpacking The Writer, a regular feature here in the Not Now Silly Newsroom.

In the last one, called Rakng Muck in the Big Miami, I was still doing a victory dance after getting an official apology from the City of Miami following my series The Coconut Grove Playhouse Trojan Horse. I’ve now expanded upon on that series by dragging Kevin Spacey into the controversy. However, nothing that’s happened has disabused me of the notion that it’s all about the parking garage and the theater is a sop to culture to get it done.

Like The Falafel King, I’m looking out for you.

Lately, my Coconut Grove research has zoomed out to look at the bigger picture. I’ve have been pulling at several seemingly unrelated threads that — it turns out — may be part of the same tapestry. Think of these threads as the potential warp and woof of The Bigger Picture.

As I continue to pull at these threads, one of two things will happen: I will either discover my sources were right, or the entire thing will unravel in my hands; either I will finally locate the smoking gun of Miami corruption we’ve all been looking for, or I’ve spent all this time chasing tips that turn out to be false and writing run-on sentences like this.

While I’m thinking of it I’m going to drop another plug for my weekly Friday Fox Follies at PoliticusUSA, which I have to start writing almost immediately if it’s to be finished on a Friday. Lately it’s been a Load o’Laffs writing about Loofah Lad again.

Don’t be deceived that the controversy has died down. The Falafel King only appears to have dodged that bullet. From this moment on, like it hasn’t been the case already, every word he utters will be compared to every word he’s ever uttered, or written, and any deviation will be the next Bill O’Reilly Headline Du Jour. I believe Bill O’Reilly’s been grievously wounded by his lies having finally caught up with him.

Consequently, I predict he will be announcing his retirement shortly. He’s rich enough. He doesn’t need the daily criticism, some of which I hear is coming from inside the walls of Foxtown. Believe it or not, some Foxites believe that Loofah Lad’s Lies are bringing down the whole operation. I know, right? But, there it is.

So, yes, you will be reading of Bill O’Reilly’s retirement soon. When it comes to tee vee prognostication, remember I famously predicted that The Five would not be long for this world in the gut-buster The Five Is Simply Bad Tee Vee — An Aunty Em Review.  While you’re there, you can read all my columns for NewsHounds, written under the nom de plume of Aunty Em Ericann.

While on the topic of Fox “News,” don’t forget the little corner of the interwebs which I have carved out for Fox Follies and Fallacies. And, if you’re really that desperate for fake friends you can reach out to me on the facebookery, or Twitter my timbers.

That’s all for this month. Tune in next month to see who I’ve insulted in the interim.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, February 22, 2015

Hello, Headliners. Today’s birthday belongs to Marni Nixon, the most famous singer you never heard of. Among the other Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Here is today’s Headlines Du Jour:

FOX’S FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

IN LGBT NEWS:

IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

MORE OF THAT REPUBLICAN OUTREACH:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF CORPORATIONS GONE WILD:

ANOTHER SHOOTOUT AT THE OK CORRAL:

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

HACK ATTACKS:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, October 5, 2014

Hello Headline hunters! Today’s birthday belongs to Elva Miller, who, as Mrs. Miller, warbled on variety shows all through the ’60s. She knew all about the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

FREE THE WEED!!!

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

OUR WIRED WORLD:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE TARANTULA IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FIVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BOB BECKEL IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

JIM CROW AT FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, September 25, 2014

Hello, Headliners! Today’s the birthday of poet, children’s author, cartoonist, and singer- songwriter Shel Silverstein. He saw his share of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Today’s Headlines Du Jour:

IN LGBT NEWS:

A priest and bishop in Montana say
that’s the only way two gay men
who are lifelong Catholics can have
their church privileges restored.

MORE OF THAT REPUBLICAN OUTREACH:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

FREE THE WEED!!!

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FIVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Blackwater’s Erik Prince: Mercenaries Are
As “Part Of American History As Apple Pie”
Krauthammer: “Do You Really Want To Be Running Around
The World Responsible For A Band Of Desperados?”

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Hello again, Headliners!Today’s birthday belongs to Mickey Rooney, who died earlier this year. He launched more than his fair share of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

GOP STANDS FOR GOT OUR PREJUDICES:

WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

FREE THE WEED!!!

TEACHERS HOLD OUR FUTURE:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

U.S. Naval War College Professor Tells O’Reilly:
“This Is A Terrible Idea, Not Just As A
Practical Matter But As A Moral Matter”

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

HARRIS FAULKER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Harris Faulker Discussing Man Who Jumped White House
Fence: “I Couldn’t Help But Let My Mind Just Flow” To Benghazi

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.