Tag Archives: Louis Armstrong

Bing Crosby’s Last Christmas Special ► Monday Musical Appreciation

On this day in 1977 (as The Music History Calendar tells us): Bing Crosby’s last Christmas special airs. The show was recorded in September, and Crosby died that October. The show is remembered for Crosby’s unusual duet with David Bowie, where they sang a modified version of “Little Drummer Boy,” with Bowie singing the new “Peace On Earth” lyrics composed by the show’s writers.

For many decades — and for millions of people around the world — Bing Crosby meant Christmas. His rendition of Irving Berlin‘s White Christmas has been certified by Guinness World Records as the best selling single in history, with well over 150 million copies. According to the WikiWackyWoo:

The first public performance of the song was by Bing Crosby, on his NBC radio show The Kraft Music Hall on Christmas Day, 1941; a copy of the recording from the radio program is owned by the estate of Bing Crosby and was loaned to CBS News Sunday Morning for their December 25, 2011, program.[5] He subsequently recorded the song with the John Scott Trotter Orchestra and the Ken Darby Singers for Decca Records in just 18 minutes on May 29, 1942, and it was released on July 30 as part of an album of six 78-rpm discs from the film Holiday Inn.[5][8]
At first, Crosby did not see anything special about the song. He just
said “I don’t think we have any problems with that one, Irving.”[9]

Crosby reprised the tune in the 1954 movie White Christmas, which was virtually a remake of Holiday Inn.

One of my earliest posts here was called “Okay, I’ll Confess. I Love Bing Crosby!” It is a paean to one of my favourite vocalists, and one I used to make jokes about. However, as I explained, it took Louis Armstrong to make me appreciate Bing Crosby, who rocketed up to the top of my personal hit parade.

Here is the last time the country was able to celebrate Christmas with Bing Crosby.

Long may he sing.

You’re The Top ► Monday Musical Appreciation

Eighty-one years ago today one of the greatest songwriters in the English language recorded one of his greatest songs.

Cole Porter was already famous when hired to write the tunes for Anything Goes. As his official biography at the Songwriters’ Hall of Fame tells us:

But while his social life [in Paris] was dazzling, Cole’s career was moving frustratingly slowly.
He studied briefly with the noted French composer Vincent d’Indy. He had a few small
successes, contributing songs to such shows as Hitchy-Koo 1919 and the Greenwich
Village Follies of 1924
. And in 1923 he had a success in Paris with a short ballet called
Within the Quota. But Broadway producers had little interest in his work. However, in
1928, Irving Berlin recommended Cole to the producers of a “musicomedy” called Paris,
starring Irene Bordoni. Cole wrote five songs for the show, and one of those songs
“Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall In Love)”, became Cole’s first big success.

Finally, the Broadway career that had so long escaped him began to be a reality. He
followed up on Paris with another “French” show, and a full musical this time, Fifty
Million Frenchmen
(1929). The show, with a book by Herbert Fields, ran for 257
performances, and included “You’ve Got That Thing”, and “You Do Something To Me”.
And then, for a London show called Wake Up and Dream (1929), Cole wrote “What Is
This Thing Called Love?”

Now living in New York, Cole entered an extraordinarily productive period in which
show followed show on Broadway, and hit song followed hit song. The New Yorkers
(1930) introduced “Love For Sale”. His 1932 musical Gay Divorce starred Fred Astaire,
in Astaire’s last Broadway role and Astaire’s only Broadway appearance without his
sister and longtime dancing partner Adele. The show ran for 248 performances, and
included “Night And Day” and “After You, Who?”

In 1934, Cole wrote one of his greatest scores for a show with a book by Guy Bolton,
P.G. Wodehouse, Howard Lindsey, and Russel Crouse, Anything Goes. The show
starred Ethel Merman, William Gaxton, Bettina Hall, and Victor Moore and included
“Anything Goes”, “I Get A Kick Out Of You”, “All Through The Night”, “Blow, Gabriel,
Blow”, and “You’re The Top”.

Cole Porter wasn’t known for his singing voice and he recorded so very few of his own songs. However, we’re fortunate to have Porter’s own version of the song, from October 26, 1934, the first time it was ever recorded:

From page 34 of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Fiction: “An Almost Theatrical Innocence:”

CHAPTER 2

On October 26, 1934, Cole Porter, accompanying himself on the piano, recorded the song “You’re the Top” from his new musical Anything Goes (its book by Guy Bolton and P.G. Wodehouse, revisited by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse), a show that would open for its tryout in Boston on November 5, 1934, and on Broadway on November 21, and run for 420 performances. Anything Goes was not only one of the great musical comedies of the 1930s but a high point in the history of the musical theater. Five of the show’s numbers became popular song standards: along with “You’re the Top,” there was “I Get a Kick Out of You,” “All Through the Night,” “Anything Goes,” and “Blow, Gabriel, Blow.”

What makes “You’re the Top” so wonderful is the clever wordplay, the spectacular rhyming scheme, and all those terrific Pop Cultural references, which would have been known by Mr. and Mrs. First Nighter, but some of which are almost unknown today:

At words poetic, I’m so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting ’em off my chest,
To let ’em rest unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading
As I’ll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it’ll tell you
How great you are.

You’re the top!
You’re the Coliseum.
You’re the top!
You’re the Louver Museum.
You’re a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You’re a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare’s sonnet,
You’re Mickey Mouse.
You’re the Nile,
You’re the Tower of Pisa,
You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa
I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I’m the bottom you’re the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I’ll second the motion
And this is what I’m going to add;

You’re the top!
You’re Mahatma Gandhi.
You’re the top!
You’re Napoleon Brandy.
You’re the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You’re the National Gallery
You’re Garbo’s salary,
You’re cellophane.
You’re sublime,
You’re turkey dinner,
You’re the time, 

of a Derby winner.
I’m a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re an arrow collar
You’re the top!
You’re a Coolidge dollar,
You’re the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You’re an O’Neill drama,
You’re Whistler’s mama!
You’re Camembert.
You’re a rose,
You’re Inferno’s Dante,
You’re the nose
On the great Durante.
I’m just in a way,
As the French would say, “de trop”.
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re a dance in Bali.
You’re the top!
You’re a hot tamale.
You’re an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You’re a Boticcelli,
You’re Keats,
You’re Shelly!
You’re Ovaltine!
You’re a boom,
You’re the dam at Boulder,
You’re the moon,
Over Mae West’s shoulder,
I’m the nominee of the G.O.P.
Or GOP!
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re a Waldorf salad.
You’re the top!
You’re a Berlin ballad.
You’re the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You’re an old Dutch master,
You’re Lady Astor,
You’re broccoli!
You’re romance,
You’re the steppes of Russia,
You’re the pants, on a Roxy usher,
I’m a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a flop,
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

Coincidentally, on the same day Cole Porter recorded his version of “You’re the Top,” so did Paul Whiteman. Even though the show wouldn’t open up on Broadway for another month, Whiteman brought his orchestra into the studio to accompany vocalists Peggy Healy and John Hauser for this version:

Happy birthday to one of the greatest tunes ever recorded. Here are a few other versions:











This song is THE TOPS!!!

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, March 3, 2014

As we celebrate the birthday of Canadian inventor Alexander Graham Bell, let’s take a quick look at a cosmic coincidence: on the 38th anniversary of Bell’s birth, AT&T was incorporated in 1885. Some of the other Headlines Du Jour from yesteryear include:

Now let’s take a look at today’s Headlines Du Jour:

AN OSCAR WRAP-UP:

Oscars 2014: Winners list

Ellen DeGeneres brings pizza and deadpan affability to Oscars

Ellen DeGeneres Breaks Twitter
With Truly Epic Oscars Selfie

Things You Missed at the Oscars:
On the Scene at the Dolby Theater

Oscars 2014: Bill Murray gives
late Harold Ramis shoutout
while presenting award

U2, Pharrell and Karen O Stun With
Showstopping Oscar Performances

Oscars 2014: Ranking the acceptance speeches! — VIDEO

Oscars: ‘In Memoriam’ Snubs Cory Monteith, James Avery, Tom Clancy

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

When May I Shoot a Student?

ON THE CRIMEBEAT:

FBI reports a drop in crime in
2013: why the rate continues to fall

TODAY IN RELIGION:

5 Things Kentucky Could Spend $73 Million On Instead Of A Fake Noah’s Ark

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Man Who Tried to Hire KKK to Hang Black Neighbor
‘From a Tree’ Like ‘An Animal’ Begs Court for Leniency

Man Says It’s Okay To Do Blackface If You Sleep With Black Chicks

FREE THE WEED!!!

Harvard Professor To NFL:
Treat Concussions With Pot

Gov. Jerry Brown on
legalized marijuana: ‘How
many people can get stoned
and still have a great state?’

Marijuana legalization on
cusp of mass acceptance

IN COCONUT GROVE:

If It’s News, It’s News To The Coconut Grove Grapevine

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Ilitches to get all revenues from new publicly financed Red Wings arena

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

JAZZ CORNER:

What Louis Armstrong
Really Thinks

Louis Armstrong, in His
Own Words: Armstrong
Biographer Terry Teachout
Takes Satchmo to the Stage

VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, December 25, 2013 ► The All Christmas Edition

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a Jew was stirring
Not even a meshugenah in a crushed velvet suit. . .

Welcome to the All Christmas edition of Headlines Du Jour.


I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!!!

‘We are winning the culture
wars’: Cenk Uygur mocks Bill
O’Reilly’s fear of ‘secularist left’

9 reasons Fox News thinks there’s a war on Christmas
Fox thinks Christianity is under attack, thanks to non-
white Santas, freedom of speech and the word “holiday”


The Gospel according to Fox News — and their cries of
holiday persecution — make them look even more foolish

Black Santa shot by pellet gun during
D.C. toy giveaway while cameras rolled

Right-Wing Is Filled with Biblical Illiterates: They’d Be
Shocked by Jesus’ Teachings if They Ever Picked Up a Bible

Meet Tex-Mex ‘Pancho Claus,’ An Adored
Christmas Fixture In The Lone Star State

GOP Rep Lamborn Pushes Bill to ‘Save
Christmas,’ Fox & Friends Hosts Thank Him

Christian activists show their love by covering
Chicago atheist display and berating onlookers

The Real War on Christmas: The War on the Poor

Reza Aslan Takes Down the Christmas Myths
That Fox News Has Been Peddling for Years

GOP rep. cites ‘pluralism’ to push ‘save
Christmas’ bill that excludes all other religions

“1913 Massacre” Film Takes a Trip Back to
Calumet a Century After a Christmas Eve Tragedy

Surprise! Fox’s Todd Starnes Is Super ‘Outraged’
by Those Alabama Drag Queen Dancers

The real history of the “war on Christmas”


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

A Tribute To Fats Waller ► A Musical Appreciation

If Fats Waller had only written “Honeysuckle Rose” he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written “Ain’t Misbehavin’” he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written “Squeeze Me” he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written “Jitterbug Waltz” he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written “(What Did I Do to Be So) Black and Blue” he would have been famous.

Celebrating the joyous birthday of the greatest Stride piano player this country ever produced. Thomas “Fats” Waller was born on May 21, 1904, and died at the young age of 39. Yet in his time he copyrighted more than 400 tunes. He made money off some of them. Others he sold off cheap when he was hurting for cash. Some he lost completely. According to the WikiWackyWoo:


Waller composed many novelty tunes in the 1920s and 1930s and sold them for relatively small sums. When the compositions became hits, other songwriters claimed them as their own. Many standards are alternatively and sometimes controversially attributed to Waller. Waller’s son Maurice wrote in his 1977 biography of his father, that once he was playing “I Can’t Give You Anything but Love, Baby” when he heard his father complaining from upstairs and came down and admonished him never to play that song in his hearing, saying that he had to sell that song when he needed some money. He even made a recording of it in 1938 with Adelaide Hall who, coincidentally, had introduced the song to the world (at Les Ambassadeurs Club in New York in 1928), in which he played the tune but made fun of the lyrics.[2] Likewise, Maurice noted his father’s objections whenever he heard “On the Sunny Side of the Street” played on the radio.[3]

Fats had been taught to play piano by the great James P. Johnson. Johnson was 10 years older and had practically invented Stride piano (often mistakenly called Ragtime piano). He got Fats his first piano roll and recording gigs and they became good friends. However, even Johnson admitted the student had surpassed the teacher.

As a great a piano player Fats was, his favourite instrument was the pipe organ. His father was a preacher and, after taking up the piano at 6, Fats started playing organ in the church at the age of 10. Later he played organ during the silent movies. Once he had gained a bit of fame he was allowed to record syncopated Jazz on the pipe organ, both solo and with “his Rhythm,” the name of his 5 and 6 man combos.

Recording a Jazz group that had a pipe organ as a lead instrument proved to be a technical challenge. It was during the days before electronic microphones had been invented. Performers had to be carefully arranged around a horn, from quietest to loudest, to balance the sound properly. A pipe organ is LOUD! So loud that the recording equipment and Fats’ band had to be on the opposite side of a cavernous room from the pipe organ. That presented a new problem. A slight delay due to the speed of sound caused havoc with the syncopated rhythms. Only the supreme musicianship of “his Rhythm” was able to overcome that challenge. I am most excited by the organ music that Fats recorded.

Sadly Fats Waller made few movies. His over-sized personality and mugging were just perfect for motion pictures, as these two clips attest:


However, the times being what they were, there was not a lot of call for Black performers in the Hollywood of the ’30s and ’40s.

Having said all that, maybe it’s a good thing that Fats Waller didn’t live to his 50s or 60s. I often think of how painful it must have been for Louis Armstrong, accused of being an Uncle Tom during the Civil Rights Era because he felt that putting on an entertaining performance, which included Satchmo’s trademark handkerchief and onstage mugging. However, no one mugged bigger and wider than Fats Waller. I doubt he would have escaped this criticism had he lived.

There are so many great songs and performances that I am having trouble putting together a representative Fats Waller jukebox. I have 515 Fats Waller MP3s, all from my own CD collection. As well, Spotify has identified 1,327 tunes for listening. However, I have tried to include some of his greatest tunes, both solo and band performances, with and without pipe organ. I also included a few interpretations of his music. Enjoy!

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Musical Appreciation ► Thelonious Monk ► A Jazz Great

Dateline October 10, 1917 – Thelonious Sphere Monk is born in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. When he was 4 years old his family would move to the “San Juan Hill” area of Manhattan. A year later he would start playing piano after listening to his sister’s music lessons. By the time of his death in 1982, he would be one of only 5 Jazz artists to appear on the cover of Time Magazine (the others being Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Wynton Marsalis and Dave Brubeck). Today he’s generally considered The Father of Bebop music.

According to The Monk Zone:

With the arrival Thelonious Sphere Monk, modern music — let alone modern culture — simply hasn’t been the same. Recognized as one of the most inventive pianists of any musical genre, Monk achieved a startlingly original sound that even his most devoted followers have been unable to successfully imitate. His musical vision was both ahead of its time and deeply rooted in tradition, spanning the entire history of the music from the “stride” masters of James P. Johnson and Willie “the Lion” Smith to the tonal freedom and kinetics of the “avant garde.” And he shares with Edward “Duke” Ellington the distinction of being one of the century’s greatest American composers. At the same time, his commitment to originality in all aspects of life — in fashion, in his creative use of language and economy of words, in his biting humor, even in the way he danced away from the piano — has led fans and detractors alike to call him “eccentric,” “mad” or even “taciturn.” Consequently, Monk has become perhaps the most talked about and least understood artist in the history of jazz.

The WikiWackyWoo says, “Monk is the second-most recorded jazz composer after Duke Ellington, which is particularly remarkable as Ellington composed over 1,000 songs while Monk wrote about 70.

It wasn’t just his own compositions. When Monk covered another artists’ song, he had a way of turning it inside out and creating his lovely dissonance, where it none had before.

Clint Eastwood, when he’s not berating empty chairs, is a great aficionado of Jazz. He produced this 1988 documentary, directed by Charlotte Zwerin that can say far more than I can:

If that has whetted your appetite, here’s a Thelonious Monk Jukebox I put together:


Enjoy!

A Musical Appreciation ► Louis Armstrong

Dateline August 4, 1901 – A Black boy is born into a world of extreme poverty and Jim Crow laws in New Orleans, Louisiana. By the time Louis Armstrong died in 1971, in Queens, New York, he was one of the most recognizable musicians on the planet. Along the way he entertained millions and became one of the greatest performers in all of Jazz. However, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

While I’ve been a fan of Louis Armstrong for many years, I became a huge fan all over again by what Jazz historian Gary Giddins said in Ken Burns’ (amazing multi-part) Jazz documentary. Giddins was asked whether Armstrong was a genius. Giddins replied (paraphrasing), “We tend to throw the word ‘genius’ around. However, if by ‘genius’ you mean that after him nothing was ever the same again, then by that measure Louis Armstrong was a genius.”

“You can’t play anything on a horn that Louis hasn’t played”
~~~~~Miles Davis

It was Louis Armstrong’s praise of Bing Crosby talents that made me reassess everything I ever thought about Der Bingle. Here they are together in one of my favourite Louis Armstrong clips, a terrific Cole Porter tune from the movie High Society:

“What was the greatest band of the 20th century? Forget the Beatles – it was Louis Armstrong’s Hot Five and its subsequent incarnation, the Hot Seven… these bands altered the course of popular music.”
~~~~~Playboy magazine

 There are two things that have always impressed me about Louis Armstrong and neither have to do with his music.

Armstrong being fitted by Toronto’s world famous hatter Sam Taft

1). In the mid-’40s, when he was just starting to make some really good money, he bought a house on 107th Street in Corona, Queens, NYC. He lived there the rest of his life, long after he could have afforded to move to better and more expensive digs. When he wasn’t touring he was known for sitting on his porch and greeting the neighbourhood kids, who all called him Pops, and giving them apples and unconditional love. That house was made a National Historical Landmark in 1977 and is now the Louis Armstrong House and Museum.

2). During his lifetime Armstrong was criticized for being an Uncle Tom for playing to segregated audiences, accepting the title “King of the Zulus” in the 1949 Mardi Gras parade, and not doing more for ‘his people.’ Billie Holliday was even quoted as saying, “Of course Pops toms, but he toms from the heart.” Aside from the fact that being named King of the Zulus was a singular New Orleans honour misunderstood elsehwre in the country, when Louis Armstrong made his views on race relations known, the entire world listened.

In 1957, during the desegregation controversy in Little Rock, Arkansas, Arstrong sppoke out loud and clear. He called President Eisenhower “gutless” and “two-faced” for sitting on his hands and doing nothing. And, to put his money where his mouth was, Armstrong cancelled a tour of the Soviet Union he was about to do on behalf of the State Department. Uncle Tom would never have said, “The way they’re treating my people in the South, the government can go to hell.”

“Louis Armstrong is the master of the jazz solo. He became the beacon, the light in the tower, that helped the rest of us navigate the tricky waters of jazz improvisation.”
~~~~~Ellis Marsalis

Louis  Armstrong also helped change Jazz singing. He wasn’t the first to Scat, but he helped popularize the genre with his joyful Scat singing, which was as revolutionary as is trumpet playing.

As for honous: 

  • When his version of “Hello Dolly” knocked The Beatles off the top of the charts in 1964, he became the oldest person to have a #1 hit on the Billboard charts; 
  • The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame listed his 1928 version of “West End Blues” as one of 500 songs that shaped Rock and Roll;
  • On what would have been his 100th birthday New Orleans renamed its airport Louis Armstrong International Airport
  • Also on his centenery the United States Postal Service put Armstrong on a First Class stamp;
  • He was given a postumous Lifetime Grammy Award in 1972;
  • Eleven of his songs have been inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame;
  • President Richard Nixon released a statement upon Armstrong’s death calling him Mr. Jazz. 

“I’m proud to acknowledge my debt to the ‘Reverend Satchelmouth’ … He is the beginning and the end of music in America”
~~~~~Bing Crosby

However, it’s always been about the music. Louis Armstrong recorded hundreds, maybe thousands, of sides in his lifetime. Here is just a small sample of what made Louis Armstrong one of the greatest musicians ever.

“If you don’t like Louis Armstrong, you don’t know how to love”
~~~~~Mahalia Jackson

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Musical Appreciation ► Cole Porter

An example of a “coal porter,”
a man who delivers the coal.
© 2012 Friedrich Seidenstücker,
from the MoMa collection
Another example of a coal
porter is a rail car for coal.
It’s my opinion that no ‘Merkin songwriter has ever been more
deft at the lyric than Cole Porter.
While there are many wonderful things to praise in his music, I would like to
praise his wordplay and his sense of the rhythm of the syllables of spoken,
contemporary English, while imbuing that honest, simple language with more than
a hint of sophistication. His love of language is clear in his lyrics. I have always wondered whether he got his penchant for playing with words because his name is, in fact, a pun, not unlike Aunty Em Ericann.
With a string of songs ranging from “I Get A Kick Out Of You” to “You’re The Top” to “Don’t Fence Me In” to “When We Begin The Beguine” to “Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall In Love)” to “Night and Day” to “Anything Goes” to “Let’s Misbehave” there are so many wonderful Porter lyrics, so let’s get started and break some of them down to celebrate Cole’s 121st birthday.
Ella Fitzgerald has agreed to help me out with this first set of lyrics with “Anything Goes.” Take it away, Ella:

Look at the cadence of these words and the tune, which we all know by heart, just fall into place, that’s how closely locked the words are with the actual rhythms of the song. And, look at where the rhymes fall: both at the ends of lines and within the middle. And, in the middle of the middles are other rhyming words. Look:

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
was looked on as something shocking.
Now heaven knows, anything goes.
Good authors too who once knew better words,
now only use four-letter words writing prose,
anything goes.
The world has gone mad today,
and good´s bad today, and black´s white today,
and day´s night today,
When most guys today that women prize today
are just silly gigolos.
So though I´m not a great romancer,
I know that you´re bound to answer
when I propose, anything goes.
Isn’t that tasty?

Louis Armstrong and my fellow Canadian Oscar Peterson will be demonstrating a whole different sly word play with “Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall In Love),” which, in 1928, was considered quite risqué for its time. Armstrong sings more different verses than anyone else in this almost 9 minute version and every one of them is clever as all hell.

One of my favourite Cole Porter tunes has to be “You’re The Top” also from the Broadway show “Anything Goes.” It’s filled with clever wordplay, funny pop cultural references which would have, in its time, been known by everyone in the audience, and a wonderful sentiment all wrapped up in that wonderful sense of cadence that the words have on their own. This time Cole Porter has agreed to sing his own song for us and he’s asked us all to sing along:

At words poetic, I’m so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting ’em off my chest,
To let ’em rest unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading
As I’ll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it’ll tell you
How great you are.

You’re the top!
You’re the Coliseum.
You’re the top!
You’re the Louver Museum.
You’re a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You’re a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare’s sonnet,
You’re Mickey Mouse.
You’re the Nile,
You’re the Tower of Pisa,
You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa
I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I’m the bottom you’re the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I’ll second the motion
And this is what I’m going to add;

You’re the top!
You’re Mahatma Gandhi.
You’re the top!
You’re Napoleon Brandy.
You’re the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You’re the National Gallery
You’re Garbo’s salary,
You’re cellophane.
You’re sublime,
You’re turkey dinner,
You’re the time, 

of a Derby winner.
I’m a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re an arrow collar
You’re the top!
You’re a Coolidge dollar,
You’re the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You’re an O’Neill drama,
You’re Whistler’s mama!
You’re camembert.
You’re a rose,
You’re Inferno’s Dante,
You’re the nose
On the great Durante.
I’m just in a way,
As the French would say, “de trop”.
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re a dance in Bali.
You’re the top!
You’re a hot tamale.
You’re an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You’re a Boticcelli,
You’re Keats,
You’re Shelly!
You’re Ovaltine!
You’re a boom,
You’re the dam at Boulder,
You’re the moon,
Over Mae West’s shoulder,
I’m the nominee of the G.O.P.
Or GOP!
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

You’re the top!
You’re a Waldorf salad.
You’re the top!
You’re a Berlin ballad.
You’re the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You’re an old Dutch master,
You’re Lady Astor,
You’re broccoli!
You’re romance,
You’re the steppes of Russia,
You’re the pants, on a Roxy usher,
I’m a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a flop,
But if, baby, I’m the bottom,
You’re the top!

That’s poetry. And it’s such a clever use of the English language. They don’t make songwriters like that anymore.

Here are some more classic interpretations of Cole Porter songs. I’ve also included a few instrumentals, one parody, a few unearthed gems sung by Cole himself (who wasn’t much of a singer), and two totally different versions and arrangements by Julie London, so you can also hear what a terrific tunesmith he was. Cole Porter is The Tops!

Okay, I’ll Confess. I Love Bing Crosby!

People, who know that Dub Reggae is my favourite musical genre, and that I was also a ‘60s psychedelic, hard-driving, product of Detroit, are often surprised to learn that my favourite singer of all is Mr. Bing Crosby. Here’s something totally stupid and incomprehensible to whet your appetite while I try and convince you that Bing was best.

I admit. I didn’t come to appreciate Bing until about 10 years ago. I was born in the early ‘50s. By the time I was rocking out to the MC5 and Iggy Stooge at the Grande Ballroom, I had pretty much dismissed Bing Crosby in my mind as an untalented hack that had only lucked into a singing and acting career. He was the guy that was so easy to imitate—so ubiquitous—that anyone saying “buh buh buh blooo” was referencing him. You couldn’t escape the muther. He would pop up as a caricature in kiddy cartoons of my youth. Nothing says “has been” more to a kid than a caricature someone popping up in a cartoon.  Nothing demonstrates this better than the Warner Brother’s cartoon, “Bingo Crosbyana.”

Of course, this was long before I knew what “homage” meant.

Another thing I disliked about Bing Crosby is that he owned Christmas. As a Jewish boy being called kike in the ‘50s and ‘60s, I was sure that Bing was somehow connected with it all. Hell, maybe he was behind it all, for all I knew. According to Gary Giddins (see below) Crosby “made the most popular record ever, ‘White Christmas,’ the only single to make American pop charts twenty times, every year but one between 1942 and 1962. In 1998, after a long absence, his 1947 version hit the charts in Britain.” And let’s not even talk about all the Christmas movies.

However, worst of all, Bing Crosby was the guy who almost ruined David Bowie for me for all time. I heard Bowie was going to make a rare appearance on a Bing Crosby Christmas special. Wait! What? Yes. True. It took me a long time to forgive Bowie for that. Crosby’s Christmas specials occupy its own niche in the category of Hollywood kitsch. On reflection, with so many years to assuage hurt feelings, the harmonies are lovely and the arrangement of “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” medley is clever. Still, you have to admit this is the low point of David Bowie’s career, especially the 1st minute, forty nine. Watch:



Here’s what I’m trying to say: I had absolutely no appreciation of Bing Crosby. This, despite being a huge Frank Sinatra fan. I just didn’t think Bing was fit to hold Sinatra’s trench coat.

This began to change about 10 years ago. I was watching a documentary on Louis Armstrong (a musical hero of mine) and in it Mr. Armstrong made 2 remarks: 1). All singing begins and ends with Bing Crosby; 2). Bing’s voice was like honey being poured out of a golden cup.

Well, Louis Armstrong ain’t no slouch and he knows his Jazz. If he’s saying these wonderful things about Bing Crosby, maybe I should reassess my opinion. I started doing a little reading and found that pretty much every singer subsequent to Bing said they merely imitating Crosby and owe it all to him. Elvis name-checked him as an influence, as did both Sinatra and Dean Martin. Here’s a clip from “Robin and the Seven Hoods,” where Sinatra and Martin have a whole lot of fun with Bing’s sartorial choices in “Style.”



Now I was more curious than ever. What was I missing?

Coincidentally (or just another instance of synchronicity), right at this same time I happened to see a book on my local retailer’s remainder table called “Bing Crosby; A Pocketful of Dreams; The Early Years; 1903-1940” by Gary Giddins (who was quoted extensively in that Armstrong documentary referenced above). Amazingly this 592 page book (published in 1991) ends at “White Christmas” and is merely the first volume in a proposed 2-volume set. While reading the book, I also immersed myself in Bing’s earliest recordings, something I had never taken the time to do before.

The light went on!!! I am now a believer!!!

There were recordings I knew, but didn’t realize they were by a young Bing Crosby because his voice had changed so much over the years. His “Pennies From Heaven” or “Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?” are transcendent, blissful, and (here’s the most important part) are full of pathos. His voice carries the drama of the songs in a way that few singers have ever been able to pull off. For so many people of my parent’s age these songs, and Bing Crosby’s version of them, represented the Great Depression.

Everyone knows the dreadful David Lee Roth rip off of the Louis Prima arrangement of “Just a Gigolo/I Ain’t Got Nobody,” however those arrangements make the song swing and being a gigolo doesn’t seem like such a bad life. Even Louis Armstrong’s version swings. However, I never really understood the song until I heard Bing Crosby’s version of “Just a Gigolo” To begin with, it’s a very, very sad song, something you don’t get from Prima, Roth, or Armstrong. When Bing sings it, you hear every ounce of the pathos in the song. Bing also sings the introduction, left off most other versions. I can’t listen to Bing’s version without feeling great empathy for that sad, unemployed, World War One doughboy. Get out a hanky:



I now own a great deal of Bing Crosby’ recordings and I hear something new in them every time I listen.

Finally, here’s a partial list of Bing’s accomplishments, by Giddin in the Introduction to his book, I find most impressive, especially the second-to-last, because that changed Show Business forever: 

  •  He was the first full-time vocalist ever signed to an orchestra. 
  •  He made more studio recordings than any other singer in history (about 400 more than Sinatra). 
  •  He made the most popular record ever, “White Christmas,” the only single to make American pop charts twenty times, every year but one between 1942 and 1962. In 1998, after a long absence, his 1947 version hit the charts in Britain. 
  •  Between 1927 and 1962 he scored 368 charted records under his own name, plus 28 as vocalist with various bandleaders for a total of 396. No one else has come close; compare Paul Whiteman (220), Sinatra (209), Elvis (149), Glenn Miller (129), Nat “King” Cole (118), Louis Armstrong (85), The Beatles (68). 
  •  He scored the most number one hits ever, thirty-eight, compared with twenty-four by The Beatles and eighteen by Presley. 
  •  In 1960 he received a platinum record as First Citizen of the Record Industry for having sold 200 million discs, a number that had doubled by 1980. 
  •  Between 1915 and 1980 he was the only motion-picture star to rank as the number one box office attraction five times (1944-48). Between 1934 and 1954 he scored in the top ten fifteen times. 
  •  “Going My Way” was the highest-grossing film in the history of Paramount Pictures until 1947; “The Bells of St. Mary” was the highest grossing film in the history of RKO Pictures until 1947. 
  • He was nominated for an Academy Award for best actor three times and won for “Going My Way.” 
  • He was a major radio star longer than any other performer, from 1931 until 1954 on network; 1954 until 1962 in syndication. 
  •  He appeared on approximately 4,000 radio broadcasts, nearly 3,400 of them his own programs, and single-handedly changed radio from a live-performance to a canned or recorded medium by presenting, in 1946, the first transcribed network show on WABC — thereby making that also-ran network a major force. 
  •  He financed and popularized the development of tape, revolutionizing the recording industry. 
  •  He created the first and longest-running celebrity pro-am golf championship, playing host for thirty-five years, raising millions in charity and was the central figure in the development of the Del Mar racetrack in California. 

Taste is subjective. We won’t all like the same things in food or music, f’rinstance. However, I suggest you take another listen to Bing Crosby. He’s a lot better than your parents ever told you.

Quality never goes out of style and Bing Crosby has quality!