Category Archives: Unpacking

Unpacking the Writer ► Closing Out Another Year

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Crazy angles. Just like Batman.

Long-time readers of Not Now Silly know that Unpacking The Writer is a monthly feature, in which I pull back the curtain and reveal the man pulling the levers.

AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!!

New readers may be unaware that this is also my clever way to remind people to click on the adverts on these pages. The few cents I get from the monthly clicks don’t even cover the cost of storing the pics I use. [Did I say “few”? I meant miniscule.] However, now that Google has lowered the price of storage, I might actually be at the break-even point. Whoopie!

No matter. While money was never the reason I started a blog, it would be nice to make a few dollars here and there for all the hard work I put into these posts. On your mark. Get set. Start clicking.

I compare myself to Superman whenever I can.

Something else new readers may not know: I had a residency for a few years at NewsHounds, the motto of which is “We watch Fox so you don’t have to.” Because I was concerned Right Wing Crazies™ might want to hunt me down, I used a nom de plume. Because I thought it was funny, that pseudonym was Aunty Em Ericann. Because that so upset Right Wing Crazies™, some of them decided to hunt me down.

It’s the circle of life.

So, the Right Wing Crazies™ hunted me down and exposed my secret identity, just like I was a superhero and they were trying to conquer the world. No one ever accused them of being Braniacs, however.

In an effort to destroy me — because he couldn’t refute my message — Johnny Dollar was stupid enough to publish details of my alternative lifestyle at his sewer because, clearly, my sex life falls under his stated rubric of CABLE NEWS TRUTH. That’s the story I tell in the very first post on this blog: Johnny Dollar has Proven Himself To Be A Very Dangerous Person.

TRUE STORY: This blog was launched to expose Mark Koldys. Therefore, if you like this blog, you have Johnny Dollar to thank for it. It’s my modest suggestion that the very best way to thank Johnny Dollar is to share my Johnny Dollar stories all across the World Wide Interwebs. Feel free to repost.

The more that people learn about Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham, the more repulsed they are. They are saddened such evil motherfuckers like Johnny Dollar and Grayhammy actually exist. They are outraged that people would do such a thing over political differences. They understand that I might be willing to forget this silly little cyber-feud — even after 3 years of relentless and mendacious attacks — except Koldys and/or Graham keep reminding me it’s time to write about them all over again. What’s funny is how they keep trying to convince people that they are the victims.

For all those reasons I ask my faithful readers to share, or trade, these blog posts with your family and friends. Here’s are some good places to start:

blackflon was once part of the Flying Monkey Squad, but became bored and
gave up his part in the feud. Maybe Mark Koldys & Ashley Graham will take a clue.

I guess I’m just nostalgic for the earliest days of this blog. While it started with the mission to destroy Johnny Dollar, I’ve branched out considerably since then.

For the first year — to keep the continuity and to bring along my NewsHound fans — this blog was slapped with the unweildy title of Headly Westerfield’s “Aunty Em Ericann” Blog, which I got tired of typing. A year ago, April 1st, I simplified it to Not Now Silly, the URL I had chosen a year earlier. It occurs to me that I’ve not told that story here:

When I was originally setting up this blog I was asked to come up with a URL. I knew that it was something that I’d have to live with for a while, so I typed one possibility after another. They were either already taken, or just seemed stupid when I stared at it long enough. I was just starting to get frustrated when Pops called me from the other room. “Not Now Silly” is what my fingers automatically typed. Then I hit enter. It was as good as any URL, I suppose and, just like every problem, I was over-thinking it. 

For some reason Keg tried it in blue before we settled on sepia.

When I decided to rename the blog last year, I reverted to that URL. Keg designed a logo I that I love, based on a pic I found on the innertubes.

To blow my own horn: I’m most proud of my investigative writing on Coconut Grove. Back when I was still disguised as Aunty Em, I wrote my first blog posts on the Charles Avenue Historical Marker. Accidentally stumbling across that marker led me to all my other reporting on Coconut Grove, from the Demolition by Neglect of the E.W.F. Stirrup House; to the quiet racism that led to Trolleygate; the historical racism that led to Old Smokey; right on down to documenting The Colour Line as it shifts throughout the history of Coconut Grove.

And, my Coconut Grove posts do pretty good, click-wise, because I have regular readers now who want to know what I’ve uncovered lately. However, nothing could have prepared me for the click action on my post of February 22nd, Aries Development Continues To Rape Charles Avenue, all about the illegal cutting of the trees at the E.W.F. Stirrup House. It garnered 1297 clicks in just a month, jumping to the #3 in the Not Now Silly Top Ten. Sadly that knocked one of my Johnny Dollar posts down to the #9 position.

Readers: I do it for you. Without my readers, these words would be meaningless. These last two years have been a great ride. I sure hope you’re going to stick around for the next few. Here are some videos I made that combines my love of history and my obsessive picture collecting. See you around the funny papers. Oh, and click on an advert. It won’t cost you a thing and you’ll feel better for it.

Is Trolleygate Headed For An Out-Of-Court Settlement?

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Before the meeting of the Coconut Village Council got underway

The February 25th Coconut Grove Village Council purred along nicely until the agenda item of Trolleygate. That’s when the wheels fell off the meeting’s diesel bus. Residents broke Robert’s Rules of Order to talk out-of-turn, denouncing the proposed settlement concerning the non-conforming diesel bus maintenance garage on Douglas Road that contravenes not only the Miami 21 plan, but also the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Such was the outrage that the committee presenting the report had to remind the residents that they were just messengers.

So confident are all the parties that an agreement is possible, that they’ve requested a 60-day freeze in all legal proceedings to see if they can all get on the bus. Based on the anger expressed at the Village Council Meeting, it may be an uphill climb on a rough road to a negotiated settlement.

The former future non-conforming diesel bus garage?

The broad outline of the proposed settlement looks like this: Coral Gables agrees to drop its lawsuit against Astor Development that asks a judge to abrogate its contract with the developer. Meanwhile Astor Trolley/Astor Development agrees to stick the new fake trolley garage RIGHT WHERE IT IS NOW, more or less, as opposed to the non-conforming White Elephant on Douglas Road.

Everything old is new again: The new plan is for Astor to build the multimillion dollar mixed use complex with a maintenance bus garage hidden inside. However, because it will take time for Astor to build the multimillion dollar mixed-use development in Coral Gables, these two parties are asking the West Grove residents to allow the Douglas Road vehicle maintenance facility to operate for the next 18-months to 2 years.

That’s when the meeting exploded.

While this is not a scientific survey by any means, it appeared the majority of those present at the Village Council meeting (which was so small a group that it represented only the tiniest fraction of Coconut Grove residents) were vehemently against allowing any use of the non-conforming bus maintenance garage as a bus maintenance garage, even for a day.

And, if those residents read yesterday’s Miami-Herald, they won’t be reassured. According to Jenny Staletovich:

The city would need to use the 12-bay depot that neighbors bitterly oppose in the 3300 block of Douglas Road in the West Grove while the new depot is being constructed. After two or three years, the trolleys would then move out, said Coral Gables City Attorney Craig Leen.

So, the 18-months-to-2-years touted at the meeting is already being stretched to 3 years and that’s before any construction delays — or construction begins, for that matter.

However, let’s assume this deal is accepted. What becomes of the building on Douglas Road after Coral Gables gets done with it? The community is already eyeballing it for some practical use in a community trying to pull itself out of a downward economic spiral. F’rinstance, there is a dearth of grocery stores on that end of Grand Avenue. Or, what about an artist’s cooperative? Indoor/Outdoor all-weather Farmer’s Market? Or a cooperative retail space like that of The Rust Belt, in Ferndale, Michigan, but with a Bahamian/West Grove vibe? These are all ideas already being kicked around. However, that’s putting several carts before all this horsepower.

The main sentiment heard at the Village Council meeting was, “If you give them an inch…” Similar was expressed to Miami New Times’ writer Allie Conti, who writes in today’s Riptide:

Although the plan seems like it could work, the steering committee that represents the West Grove residents says no way. Committee chair Linda Williams says it’s important that the community decide what the garage is used for once it’s vacated. But she is also concerned the plan isn’t binding enough to get the city and developers out of there at all.

“We will not commit to letting them use the garage for two more years, because then we’ll never get them out,” she says. “There will be delays, and even trying to fine them won’t work — these people have deep pockets, so they’ll just pay the fine.”

While an inch hasn’t even been given yet, some people are already planning the next mile of road under these fake trolleys. This vision asks West Grove residents to put up with this non-conforming diesel bus maintenance garage forever, and a day, not just for a couple of years. 

As predicted in these pages only days ago: The Coconut Grove Grapevine asks the musical question, “Maybe we can use it for the Grove trolley?”

In other words: Ignore the
century of institutional racism and the [alleged] Miami corruption that
sited the garage on Douglas Road in the first place. Let’s make West Grove live with it because that’s how Modern Day Colonialists operate.

There’s a fascinating story about that blue triangle
above in which Coral Gables was able to hide its
racism in plain sight by making it a historic district

Speaking of Colonialism: In a totally unrelated, but tangential issue, Coral Gables still plans to run its fake trolleys into the MacFarlane Homestead Subdivision Historic District, which it has ignored up until now. This weird triangle of Coral Gables land, wedged between West Grove and famed U.S. Highway #1, housed the Black enclave of Coral Gables. These folks were the servant class of Coral Gables and this is the only area in which they were allowed to live at one time.  U.S. 1 served as The Colour Line in those days, making this neighbourhood the exception that proves the rule.

It would be an irony indeed if this under-served area of Coral Gables is finally brought into the 20th Century as a result of opposition to Trolleygate by their West Grove neighbours. Maybe one day West Grove will be treated with the same belated dignity.

As the Merry Pranksters were fond of saying, “You’re either on the bus, or you’re off the bus.” Can the lawyers get all parties on this bus before the 60-day deadline expires?

If It’s News, It’s News To The Coconut Grove Grapevine

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Let’s have a Tomversation, Tom.

Longtime followers of Not Now Silly can attest, I have been trying to Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House for more than 5 years.

Back in 2009 I tried to get Tom Falco, publisher of the Coconut Grove Grapevine, to help me. We engaged in a series of emails that went south really quickly. I explained my background. Then I offered my early opinion (which has only grown after researching more history) that much of what happens in West Grove is informed by Systemic Racism, I received the following reply from Falco, grammar, lack of punctuation, and misspellings unretouched:

[8/31/2009] Well some of the residents on the block are to blame too.

The first house was given over $700,000 by the city in grant money to renovate and the owner painted it white and took off.

Other areas were to be an arts district, but someone involved and part of the black community bought up all the land cheap and then tried to sell it to the artist for exhorbatant prices, so they just walked away.

You were wrong to place this on the facebook page it is off topic and really if you want to be taken seriously you need to do it by not spamming places. It makes you look unprofessional and people won’t take you seriously.

I do since I have done stories on the subject, but it is best to try to spreaed your info the proper way, and spamming blogs and facebook is not the proper way.

I’m just sayin.. Also it wasn’t “Whitie” who scammed the artists, it was the black something initiative that screwed the hood.

Thanks,
Tom Falco


Tom Falco [L] sharing information in downtown Coconut Grove

Wait!!! What???

I was surprised that Falco was so unconcerned about Charles Avenue and the E.W.F. Stirrup House. His larger issue — one he has to this very day — is about SPAM. All links in comment threads are SPAM, as far as he is concerned. It would never have occurred to me that a post about news in Coconut
Grove would be considered Off Topic on a blog with the rubric COCONUT GROVE’S ONLY
DAILY NEWS.

Silly me!!!

As for professionalism: I’ve been a professional writer-journalist for more than 40 years. While it’s so easy to dismiss that experience in the cyber-world, where anyone can claim to be a writer, at least I spell words correctly and know how to use punctuation properly. Yet, Tom Falco has a sizable readership despite his grammar and run-on sentences. More’s the pity.

Clearly Tom and I have a fundamental disagreement. Falco feels sharing information through a link is SPAM. I believe information should be shared. I’m not sharing the link to get traffic to Not Now Silly. I don’t make money off web traffic, like he does. I am sharing the link in order to share the information contained within. Three days later he wrote to me because I transgressed again:

I asked you in a nice way to stop spamming my face book page.

If you do it again, I will have you blocked from the page.

Thank you.

Falco did eventually block me from his facebookery. I was never successful in recruiting him to my efforts to save the E.W.F. Stirrup House, even when I tried again in 2012, when he dismissed me with:

Hi,

I really don’t want to get involved with that.

I am really trying to ease out of the Grove these days and am not taking on any more causes.

Thanks,
Tom

Nor was I successful in recruiting him to the other West Grove issue that cropped up a year ago, Trolleygate.

Funny story about that. Al Crespo, the great Miami muckraker and publisher of The Crespogram Report, tried to get him involved in Trolleygate. Without knowing of the enmity that had built up, Crespo made the mistake of including in his email a link to one of my blog posts and CCed me. Falco blew a gasket, which was so funny and outrageous that I wrote all about it in Go Home, Coconut Grove Grapevine, You’re Drunk! Hilarity ensued. However, Falco’s yet to apologize for the libelous statements in his email.

That’s why it was so surprising to see the Coconut Grove Grapevine recently take up the issues of both the E.W.F. Stirrup House and Trolleygate. What was not surprising is how he has continued to block my comments on his threads because I continue to link to my blog posts.

However, I recently learned that it’s not just me who is being blocked at the Coconut Grove Grapevine. I am now in email communication with someone else (with Tom Falco CCed). This person has also been trying to get comments posted on Falco’s blog. Falco not only refuses to publish the comments, but has refused the courtesy of a private reply as to why the comments have been blocked.

Let me be the first to defend Tom Falco. Only Tom Falco should decide on what gets published on the Coconut Grove Grapevine. Having said that, no one”s trying to SPAM his blog. We are trying to provide his readers more information on issues of importance to Coconut Grove. A real writer would WELCOME that kind of dialogue with its readers. Falco really should drop the pretense that he’s serving his readers; he’s serving his advertisers.

This advert was out-of-date on
March 1st when the MPA took
over the Playhouse parking lot.

When Falco falsely labels informative links SPAM, it’s a convenient excuse not to publish comments that might lead to criticism of any of his advertisers. F’rinstance: Gino Falsetto (the marauding developer I have written about extensively) has been an advertiser at the Grapevine through various companies, including his (possibly illegal) parking concession at the Playhouse and the several restaurants in the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums.

With Aries Development Group‘s fingers in so many Coconut Grove pies, much of the reporting Falco does is compromised. His recent two-parter on the Stirrup House, spurred on by the destruction of the trees and the public outcry, is an exercise of saying almost nothing while giving the Stirrup House lip service. Laughably he says in one of those posts:

For some years now, a few people asked me to get involved but I always felt there was nothing I could do. After so many years, the Stirrup family gave up the house, which was given historic designation in 2004.

And, nothing is what Tom Falco did. He ignored the Stirrup House from the day I tried to get him to help until now.

And, nothing is what Tom Falco still does. In neither post does he really come out and criticize the rapacious, marauding developer, Gino Falsetto. Furthermore, he won’t publish comments that do.

TO BE FAIR: Falco’s absolutely right that there’s nothing he can do, unless he’s willing to piss off his advertisers. However, if he wants to serve his readers and the larger community can help me pound the drum to Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House.

Either run as the Unofficial Mayor of Coconut Grove, or do some real reporting.

Even his reporting on Trolleygate is back-asswards. He never comes out in favour of his neighbours against the non-complying Coral Gables bus garage, although he mentions the controversy almost tangentially.

What Falco actually has done is to start a petition to demand that Miami bring its fake trolleys into Grove Center. He takes no position on whether these fake trolleys should loop along Grand Avenue into West Grove. Nor does he mention the latest news in the fake trolley story, that Coral Gables has voted to loop its fake trolleys to the MacFarlane Homestead Subdivision Historical District, but not to Douglas Road, in West Grove, just one block away and where its developer sited the fake trolley maintenance garage.

The MacFarlane Homestead Subdivision Historical District has a fascinating history. I barely touched on it in No Skin In The Game ► Part Three. In short: Coral Gables hid its racism in plain sight by making its only Black enclave, where it ALLOWED its servant class to live, an entire historic district.

Once again West Grove is being frozen out while Center Grove is begging for crumbs from Miami for a fake trolley. However, for a change, Historic Black Coral Gables might finally get served. But, you’ll never learn any of the context from the Coconut Grove Grapevine.

If Falco remains true to form he will next take another wrong position. In no time at all I expect to read him call for grandfathering the illegal, non-conforming Douglas Road diesel bus garage because, with the expansion of the fake trolley lines he’s pushing for, it will be needed, despite the fact that it belongs to the next town over.

I guess what really has me irked, however, is he managed to get quoted recently by other publications who jumped on the both the E.W.F. Stirrup House and Trolleygate issues. He had to be dragged — kicking and screaming — to barely write about these Coconut Grove issues in the first place. Then Miami media quotes him as if he knows what he’s talking about.

Clearly, he’s got a much better press agent than I do and I am jealous of the attention he gets.

However, I’ll warn Falco publicly (again) that he needs to be careful who he says what to. Some of what he says actually gets back to me. In fact, people seem gleeful to repeat it. Some of it sounds suspiciously like slander. People he believes are his friends do not keep his confidences. Who knew FAM would provide so many Friends of Falco a night to unload?

On the other hand: Everything I have said to people in private about Tom Falco, I have also stated in public on my blog more than once:

The Coconut Grove Grapevine is a joke, and Tom Falco is a panoply of a parody of a journalist.

The Coconut Grove Playhouse Deal Begins to Unfold

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The removal of the old growth trees on the E.W.F. Stirrup property was only one in a series of chess moves made virtually simultaneously as the Coconut Grove Playhouse deal begins to unfold.

On January 15th Aries Development took possession of the Bicycle Shop, that small, two story structure sitting at the northeast corner of the Playhouse parking lot. Aries was ‘gifted’ this property (and $15,000) to relinquish all claims on the Playhouse. The mystery had always been why this building had been put into play in order to settle the outstanding issues necessary to restore and reopen the Playhouse.

Sources tell Not Now Silly that when the now defunct Playhouse board accepted the loan from Aries years ago, it put up the Bicycle Shop as collateral. That’s how Aries came to hold the note on the Bicycle Shop; why it was in play already; and why it may have just been easier to give Aries this bone, than to have it continue to scuttle every deal to bring the Playhouse back to its former glory.

[One of these days I will actually discover how much money Aries loaned the defunct Playhouse board. That’s just another one of those pesky details that has remained concealed by all the boardroom and backroom machinations. These took place far away from the prying eyes of Florida’s strict Sunshine Laws. In other words: There’s so much about this deal we know nothing about and peeling back the onion has been a chore.]

The funny thing about Aries getting possession of the Bicycle Shop is that the building had already been condemned. The City of Miami loaded the property up with violation after violation, until it decided that it was an unsafe structure that had to be removed. However, that was something of a chess move on the part of the city in order to get a seat at the table. Because Miami-Dade County was running the Playhouse negotiations, the City of Miami would have been frozen out entirely. Having these tens of thousand of dollars in fines levied against the property gave the City of Miami a buy-in at this High Stakes table. When eventually the poker game was played to untangle the financial mess the Playhouse had become, holding cards were the state of Florida, which had to sign off on any deal; Miami–Dade County; the City of Miami; Aries Development; GableStage; FIU; and the former-Playhouse board, or what was left of it. Not seated at the table: Any representative from the community being served. In short: The taxpayers and neighbourhood stakeholders.

One of dozens of pictures taken inside the construction
zone. It seems fitting the floor looks like a chess board.

Regardless, once Miami was satisfied with the deal, the city pushed in all its chips and folded its hand. It wiped clean the condemned Bicycle Shop’s slate of all fines and deeded it to over to the marauding Aries Development Group. Consequently, Aries needed to act quickly, before new citations and violations start piling up against the building. To that end, it has already removed the roof from the Bicycle Shop.

Unfortunately for Aries Development that’s all that was done, creating a brand new problem for Gino Falsetto’s company. The demolition crew neglected to fence in the destruction site, [allegedly] breaking several city by-laws in the process. It’s currently open to the public for private tours. Anyone can wander in and out of the building, as this reporter did on Tuesday, February 25th. As well, Not Now Silly
has not been able to locate a demolition permit, nor does there appear
to be a permit for having a dumpster on the property. Aries is certainly
keeping Bylaw Enforcement busy this week.

See a photo album, inside and outside, of [alleged]
violations at the Bicycle Shop on February 25, 2014.
View videos of the unprotected construction zone:

Word is that Gino Falsetto wants to put a small restaurant in this building, but it would have to be a VERY small eatery. There’s not much one can do with 1600 square feet. That’s barely big enough for a small coffee shop. Restaurant, coffee shop, art gallery? Whatever Aries wants to do with this property is going to require permits and telling Not Now Silly that it’s all “in the pipeline” just doesn’t cut it. The laws are quite specific to demolition and this week Aries Development has already demolished a wall at the E.W.F. Stirrup House without a permit, hacked 4 old growth tress to the ground without a permit and is now running this unsafe destruction site without a permit — and without sealing it off from the public!!!

However, turning the Bicycle Shop into a restaurant makes sense because that’s another cash business. Gino Falsetto [allegedly] learned how lucrative restaurants can be when he (and his brothers) bankrupted four of them in the Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, area. When the government finally moved in to seize the assets (cash in the till and the cutlery, essentially), Canadians lost an estimated $1,000,000.00 in unpaid taxes. However, that’s chump change compared to what Falsetto’s investors lost. That figure is estimated to be upwards of ten million dollars. And then, next thing you know, Gino Falsetto has enough resources after his business went bankrupt to buy his way into the hot Miami real estate market.

Of course, it has to be said, that there are many honest and reputable restaurant owners. In fact, the vast majority are. However, that doesn’t mean that restaurant ownership has not been known as a source of illegal profit skimming. Just sayin’.

This sign is supposedly gone on March 1st

Speaking of cash businesses, that brings us to the Playhouse parking lot. On March 1st the Miami Parking Authority (MPA) will take over control of the Playhouse parking lot. On February 25th the new signage was being erected. However, most of the old signs hadn’t been removed yet.

Who had the parking concession until now?

Double Park, Paradise Parking, and Caribbean Parking. Bring Truth To Light has written extensively about Gino Falsetto; his several various partners in several various companies; Aries Development Group; shady Coconut Grove real estate deals; and this particular parking lot. It’s worth quoting extensively:

Double Park LLC

Behind the mess created by Aries is one of the new MPA signs

Gino Falsetto founded Double Park LLC on July 12, 2004 and filed his Florida limited liability company with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. The company’s FEI/EIN number is 861112258. The address is The Grand, 1717 N Bayshore Drive, Suite 102, Miami, FL 33132. Falsetto is the company’s sole manager and registered agent.


In 2006, Mitchell Liss took over as manager and Anthony Petropoulos became registered agent.


In 2007, the company moved to Suite 201 on the second floor in The Hilton Doubletree Grand condominium.


In 2009, Mitchell Liss also took on the role of registered agent.


The incredulous real estate promoter presents a big plan that arouses excitement. The Miami Herald reported Gino Falsetto “floated a last-minute, $55 million-plus proposal to build a new, 600-seat theater behind the historic façade, and add retail and residential buildings as well as an underground parking garage.”


In yet another Miami Herald article Jorge Luis Lopez, a Playhouse board member, was quoted to call Falsetto’s Aries company “a deadbeat squatter,” characterizing Falsetto’s relationship with the Playhouse’s board of directors.

Paradise Parking Systems LLC

Mitchell Liss founded Paradise Parking Systems LLC on December 19, 2005 and filed his Florida limited liability company with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. The company’s FEI/EIN number is 204281994. The address is 19810 West Dixie Highway, N Miami Beach, FL 33180. Liss is the company’s sole manager and registered agent.


In 2007, Anthony Petropoulos became the registered agent and the company’s new address is Suite 201 at The Grand.


In 2009, Mitchell Liss also took on the role of registered agent.

Caribbean Parking Systems Inc


John Battaglia founded Caribbean Parking Systems Inc on February 25, 2002 and filed his Florida profit corporation with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. The company’s FEI/EIN number is 270077530. The address is 2874 NE 191 Street, Suite 304, Aventura, FL 33180. Battaglia is the company’s sole director and Robert Stok is the registered agent.

In 2007, Mitchell Liss became the company’s sole director, president, and registered agent. The company’s new address is Suite 201 at The Grand.

Miami Parking Authority CEO Art Norieaga addresses
the Coconut Grove Village Council on February 25, 2014

Bring Truth To Light has also called on the government to investigate how
these three companies came to squat on the Playhouse parking lot, how long they have claimed the concession, and whether it had benefit of a contract with the Playhouse board. Coconut Grove has a shortage of parking, so during some Special Events, this parking lot was filled.

Every company pie that Gino Falsetto has his fingers into is always a
complicated rabbit warren of other companies and fronts. But, I digress.

Not only did these three companies collect the fees from this parking lot, but also had cars booted and/or towed for parking on this lot and not paying. If it’s true, as it’s beginning to appear, that Double Park, Paradise Parking, and Caribbean Parking had no authority to do so, every tow from that lot was an organized crime against the car’s owner. How many people using that parking lot were scammed by these three companies?

With Aries losing its precious parking lot tomorrow, how will it remain in that cash business, especially since his restaurants on the ground floor of The Monstrosity known as the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums advertise Valet Parking? A partial answer was given at the latest Coconut Grove Village Council meeting on February 25th. Art Noriega of the Miami Parking Authority gave a presentation on all Coconut Grove parking lots, including the Playhouse parking issues being investigated by Bring Truth to Light and Now Now Silly. He told the assembled that the city made an accommodation with Aries for Valet Parking. It was a such a quick reference, this reporter was not sure that they heard the proper context for the remark.

45 spaces in that oddly shaped area are to be rented by Aries Group

Contacted by phone after the meeting, Noriega elaborated, confirming to Not Now Silly that Aries will be renting 45 parking spaces from the city, at $45 a month, for a total of $2,025. [At $6.00 a car, Aries will have to turn each space over 7.5 times in a month to break even.] These spaces are apparently not any of those between the north end of the Playhouse and the south end of the Bicycle Shop. The parking spaces being rented from the city by Aries are those on the paved area immediately to the west of the Playhouse (in the irregular shape in the Earth View on the right). The Valet Parking arrangement with the city is on a month-to-month basis and, certainly, when (if?) the Playhouse property becomes a renovation zone, Aries won’t be able to Valet Park there.

Which brings us to the last 3 properties that Aries is known to control on Charles Avenue: the two vacant lots on the north of Charles Avenue, which are owned by a shell company owned by Gino Falsetto; and the E.W.F. Stirrup property, which Aries controls through a 50-year lease with the Stirrup Family, the owners of record on the house. Last week the Stirrups were cited for the destroying 4 old growth trees on the Stirrup property, even though the destruction was wrought by Gino Falsetto’s Aries Development. Aries also cut down 3 trees on the vacant lots across the street and demolished the wall separating The Monstrosity from the E.W.F. Stirrup House.

All of this wanton destruction was done without benefit of the proper permit(s). The city levied fines of $1,000 per tree and Aries will have to plant 2 trees for every tree destroyed, but the damage is already done and only time will bring back century old trees.

The Monstrosity, aka Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums, was built by
rapacious developer Aries Group.That 5-story wall (on the right) dwarfs the
understated 2-story 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House that the same marauding
developer has allowed to undergo Demolition by Neglect for the past 8 years.

While there are no plans on file with the city — or the Historical Preservation Board, for that matter — Not Now Silly has been told they are “in the pipeline,” whatever that means. In practice it means that Gino Falsetto is holding his cards very close to his vest, [allegedly] breaking all kinds of city By-Laws which require permits and plans before work commences, not after. Coconut Grove won’t know his hole cards, until he’s ready to play his hand. In other words: People will learn of his plans when he’s damned good and ready to reveal them, even if it can’t be fixed, like the trees.

So, what’s the plan for these last properties. Everything beyond this point is mere speculation and rumour, based upon keen observation and unconfirmed tips from anonymous sources:

Demolishing the wall is the first step for Aries Group to expand the restaurant/bar/wine bar seating at The Monstrosity into the Stirrup property. However, one would think the first steps would be the demolition permit, not to mention a permit to change the seating in the restaurants and another permit to alter the capacity on the various bar licenses [Taruus, La Bottega, etc.] in The Monstrosity. There are several carts that have been put before the horse. But at least those pesky old growth trees are no longer in the way, right?

However, since that work has already commenced, I sure hope the city of Miami Code Enforcement officers continue watching.

What else? At least one of those lots on the north side of Charles Avenue is being eyed by Aries as a “flat parking lot” in the future, according to my source. It was also cleared of vegetation last week in the Great Miami Tree Massacre™. This makes sense since Aries was forced to cash in its chips on the Playhouse parking lot and will lose its seat at the table if and when the Playhouse ever gets restored.

However, it makes sense for Aries to try and get this approved as a parking lot. If Falsetto ever gets plans approved to renovate the historic site of the
E.W.F. Stirrup House into a Bed and Breakfast and outdoor restaurant (according to other sources), it will
need additional parking facilities for their rich customers. Especially when it loses the 45 spaces behind the Playhouse. However, my source tells me that’s an impossibility. The current zoning
prevents that. The fact that Charles Avenue was a designated a Historic Roadway should also prevent that from ever becoming a parking lot.

Furthermore, several neighbours from several houses along Charles Avenue (who spoke to Not Now Silly on the condition of anonymity) are so angry at the destruction of the trees that they’ve vowed to watch developments on the Stirrup property very carefully from now on. All of them had questions about the E.W.F. Stirrup House because they were full of misinformation. That lack of concrete information allows Falsetto to bluff his way though the game.

The metaphors in this blog post are mixed. Is it a chess game or is this a High Stakes poker game? To Miami and Miami-Dade county it’s been a poker game, where every hand is a new hand. Gino Falsetto is playing a longer game, chess, going for the checkmate. Long before anyone realized what he had done he swallowed up all the property surrounding the E.W.F. Stirrup House and the Coconut Grove Playhouse. He always seems to be several moves ahead of everybody else. Hopefully, not the sheriff, because the more I investigate Gino Falsetto and his business ethics, the more I am convinced he belongs in jail.

Join the Facebook group Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House for updates.

Aftermath of the Great Miami Tree Massacre

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Fined $1,000 per tree or $4,000 on the Stirrup property.

“Some people say” Gino Falsetto has finally gone too far. The recent destruction of the old growth trees on the E.W.F. Stirrup property is bringing awareness of the deplorable condition Aries Development has allowed the historic 120-year old house to devolve into.

Demolition by Neglect is a thing that can be looked up on the Googalizer. Demolition by Neglect is what Gino Falsetto has done with the E.W.F. Stirrup House for the past 8 years, ever since it entered into his possession.

IRONY ALERT: Sources tell Not Now Silly that had Aries Development applied for tree removal permits, in all likelihood they would have been granted. By ignoring the law, he just brought unwanted attention to his terrible stewardship of an important Coconut Grove cultural resource. E.W.F. Stirrup was among Florida’s first Black millionaires, a man who once owned most of 33133, a Zip Code now considered one of the most exclusive in the country.

However, those accomplishments pale to this one: With his own hands, on property he owned, Ebeneezer Woodbury Franklin Stirrup built more than 100 houses in the area. These were sold, rented, and bartered to the growing Black families that served as the service industry for the tourist trade. That action, during Jim Crow Days, created something unique in this country. At one time Coconut Grove had the highest percentage of Black home ownership than anywhere else.

The Great Coconut Grove Tree Massacre of ’14™ was supposed to have been worse than it was. There is a 5th tree on the lot that has the same florescent orange paint marker that spelled doomed the other four. It was to have come down with the rest of them but, according to my source on the scene last Thursday when it occurred, the neighbours were starting to complain loudly and the work crew stopped before the last immediately behind the Stirrup House was felled. One of those neighbours is said to have called By-Law Enforcement because they arrived early the next morning and left a citation.

It took a stump grinder all day to remove the remnants of the two trees flanking the E.W.F. Stirrup driveway.

The fine of $4,000 ($1,000 per tree) levied by the City of Miami (see citation above) will not be the only punishment. Coconut Grove Village Council Chair Javier Gonzalez tells Not Now Silly Miami has also ordered remediation on the Stirrup property. Aries Development will be forced to plant 2 trees for every tree removed. And, in 120 years, they will also be old trees just like the ones ripped down.

February 25, 2014

However, Gino Falsetto continues to prove that he’s an irresponsible corporate citizen. The picture to the right is the interior of the Bicycle Shop, that Aries Development took possession of on January 15th. More about that in The Coconut Grove Playhouse Deal Begins to Unfold, post and what that means for the community. However, this construction site has been left open and unprotected as of yesterday.

Beyond those doors is an alley that a lot of the students use as a short cut to Thomas Avenue or the A&M school. Kids being kids could start exploring the property and get hurt. This reporter had no trouble walking inside.

Gino Falsetto knows the laws about cutting down trees, just like he knows the laws about protecting the public from unsafe construction sites. He’s a long-time developer, for eff’s sake!!! All this proves is that no matter how often the City of Miami cites his company, Gino Falsetto will do exactly what he wants in Coconut Grove.

Imagine a child wandering in here:

Aries Development Continues To Rape Charles Avenue

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Code enforcement beat me to it.
That $4,000 fine will restore the 100-year old trees, right?

It was supposed to be a quiet morning editing Farce Au Pain, until I received a text from one of my secret sources in Coconut Grove. The gist of the message being: “You won’t believe what’s going on at the E.W.F. Stirrup House.”

My source had heard that the 8-foot wall that separated the E.W.F. Stirrup property from the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums [hereafter known as The Monstrosity] had been torn down. This was apparently done so that the restaurants and bars in The Monstrosity could start seating customers on the E.W.F. Stirrup Property.

Wait!!! What???

I jumped in the car and drove down to Coconut Grove as quick as the speed limit on I-95 would allow. While my source was correct, it was even worse than they had suspected. Yes, the wall — which had been the target of graffiti artists on more than one occasion — was removed as a first step to expanding the restaurant seating, but what was done at the front of the property is what reduced me to tears.

The E.W.F. Stirrup Property has been raped of all its old growth trees!!!

On the east side of the driveway now sits this beautiful stump.

Four trees on Stirrup property (not to mention 3 trees on the vacant lot across the street) have been hacked down to the ground. Two of these trees flanked the Stirrup driveway entrance and they were nearly as old as the 120+-year old house. These trees were so old they had old growth vines climbing up them as far as the eye could see. This is the kind of lush foliage prized in Coconut Grove, with philodendron leaves LARGER than two dinner plates side by side. People pay extra in Coconut Grove for property with this kind of canopy. Now, it’s all gone. Compost.

Chopping down trees is one of those things that Miami takes very seriously. In fact, there are strict laws against it. When it was learned a year back that Coconut Grove would lose some of its canopy along Commodore Plaza — ironically just a block away from the Stirrup House — people went nuts and had the tree removal program scaled back considerably. Later, when people in Brickell learned that the green canopy there was slated for destruction, not only did public opposition stop that plan in its tracks, but recently the City of Miami decided to take responsibility of Brickell from Miami-Dade County to better manage its resources.

IRONY ALERT: I’ve been yelling about the Demolition by Neglect of the E.W.F. Stirrup House for years without getting any traction. However, after having made few phones yesterday afternoon about these old growth trees being chopped down, I had two reporters call me to see what I knew about it. I expect more media phone calls to come.

Two stumps, one on either side of the driveway.

Code enforcement beat me to the Stirrup House by minutes and cited the property owners for:

Violation Date: Feb 21, 2014 Violation Time: 10:00AM
Code Section(s) Violated: VIOL REF#2125 Tree removal/relocating/trimming/root pruning without a finalized permit. (Any required mitigation must be City Code Chapt 17

Correction: 4 trees removed on property and no permit on file, please contact planning Department for for an after the fact permit.

Fine amount: 1,000 * 4 = 4,000.

That 8-foot wall on the left used to run right across the back of the property.
Just beyond the yellow CAUTION tape is the restaurant seating. See video below.

As what always happens when Aries Development screws up at the Stirrup House, it’s the Stirrup Family that gets cited for the violation, a pattern documented in these pages on several occasions. That’s because Aries is merely the lessee of the Stirrup property.

When Mr. Stirrup died in 1957, his will stated that his beautiful house — which he built with his own hands and of which he was justifiably proud — must remain in the family in perpetuity. Consequently, the owner of record is a company called Stirrup Properties, Inc. The officers of that company are David Porter, Jr., Dazelle D. Simpson, and E.W.F. Stirrup, III., descendants of Ebeneezer Woodbury Franklin Stirrup. At one time Mr. Stirrup was the largest landholder in Coconut Grove and his lovely house looked out over his vast real estate holdings, leading to him becoming one of Florida’s first Black millionaires.

Developer and scumbag (but I repeat
myself) Gino Falsetto. Pic swiped from
Bring Truth To Light, whose proprietor
has been fighting Falsetto for some 20+
years, documenting some shady real
estate deals, in the public record.

If he could see to whom his grandchildren entrusted the second oldest house in Miami, he’d be spinning in his grave.

I’ve written many stories about Aries Development — and when I say Aries Development, I really mean my Canadian compatriot Gino Falsetto. Here’s a quick recap:

Falsetto skedaddled to Miami from Canada after bankrupting 4 restaurants that he (and his brothers) owned in the Ottawa, Ontario, area (some across the Ottawa River in Hull, Quebec). Ottawa is the nation’s capitol and at least one of these restaurants is where Canadian power-brokers and politicos wined and dined, while reaching in each others pockets. When the Canadian government finally lowered the boom on the Falsetto Boys, all it managed to do is seize the assets of those restaurants: cash in the till, liquor stock and plates and cutlery. It’s estimated that the Canadian taxpayers were left on the hook for $1,000,000 in unpaid taxes on the restaurants that had been making money hand-over-fist before Falsetto over-extended himself.  Also among the losers were the vendors and all the employees, who never received their final paycheques. However, private investors are said to have lost a pile of dough as well. One of my sources who once worked for Falsetto — and claims to like him — estimates these investors lost upwards of $10,000,000. Imagine what he might have told me if he hated Falsetto. My source wanted to clear things up because I had touted the million dollar figure. I don’t know whether he was bragging on Falsetto’s behalf, or not.

Falsetto seems to have left Canada just before the tarring and feathering. His golden parachute allowed him to land on his feet on the over-heated Miami real estate market. Where did he get the money if his restaurants just went into the dumper? Bars and restaurants are notorious for being cash operations. Just saying. And now Gino Falsetto is operating more bars and restaurants, this time building and owning The Monstrosity in Coconut Grove through his Aries Development; a multi-use complex for rich white folk (with certain exceptions, which I’ll get to in a minute) that has 4 restaurants and/or bars on the ground floor. Just saying.

This video
provides the brand new view from one of Falsetto’s restaurants in The
Monstrosity, La Bottega Enoteca Sociale, after the
8-foot wall was removed. Why Gino Falsetto would want the patrons of
his restaurants to look out onto the pile of crap he allowed the E.W.F.
Stirrup House to devolve into is one of those mysteries of the cosmos.
Missing from this view are the 4 old growth trees recently chopped down
to the ground.

Among the other pies Falsetto stuck his fingers into once he landed on his feet in Miami is The Monstrosity on Main Highway, immediately behind the E.W.F. Stirrup House. From Day One Falsetto had his eyes set on bigger game. First he wrapped up control of the Stirrup House and ownership of two lots on the north side of Charles Avenue in the same deal, the broad contours of which appear to conceal a crime. We report; you decide. Follow the bouncing ball:

The Stirrup Family owned the 2 lots on the north side of Charles Avenue and Aries Development (Gino Falsetto) made them an offer. “We’ll trade you two units in The Monstrosity for a 50-year lease on the Stirrup House, ownership of the two double lots across the street from the Stirrup House, and $10 to make it all legal.” All of that was quite legal.However, here’s where it gets tricky.

Gino Falsetto seems to have learned how to make bankruptcy work for him. That’s what may have been illegal on this deal, in which the Stirrups appear to have been mere pawns — and Falsetto made out like a bandit. First he valued the 2 condos that he traded away in The Monstrosity at $500,000 each. Then he went to the bank and, based on his own valuation, got a loan of a figure adjacent to $750,000, using the property as collateral. Then he promptly defaulted on the loan.

Two giant old growth trees once flanked this driveway. Had they still
been there it would have completely blocked the view of The Monstrosity.

When the bank put the property up for a foreclosure auction, it was purchased for some $250,000 by a company in which Pierre Heafey figures prominently. Heafey is also a Canadian compatriot, who is partners with Gino Falsetto in other companies. Then the properties appear to have been shuffled through several numbered companies, until they now seem to be owned by a numbered company in which Falsetto is an officer. To recap: These two properties that Falsetto defaulted on have wound up being owned by companies in which Gino Falsetto figures prominently. Of course the banks were insured for the loss by the FDIC, which means that this was YOUR tax dollars at work.

Regardless of this skullduggery, which was still in the future, the Stirrup family accepted the trade. There were no microphones present to see whether they sang the theme song to The Jeffersons, but the fact of the matter is that the Stirrups were literally moving on up to the East Side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. And then, for the next 8 years, the Stirrups have been witness to (if their balconies have a northern view) the garbage dump and disrepair that Gino Falsetto has allowed on their grandfather’s property, a precious cultural resource. The ongoing program of Demolition by Neglect is heartbreaking for anyone who cares about Black history.

The most recent Google Maps Street View with the foliage flanking the driveway. While the
8-foot wall (since removed) can be seen in the background, The Monstrosity is barely visible.

It gets worse, of course, because when one starts to peel back the onion that is Coconut Grove corruption, you will find layers upon layers.

The view from the restaurant towards the pile of crap
the rear of the E.W.F. Stirrup House has become.

While Falsetto’s tentacles had been thrust into the other fiasco on Charles Avenue, the Coconut Grove Playhouse, his claims on that building ended recently when he was gifted the Bicycle Shop, a small building with extremely valuable Main Highway frontage. While the Playhouse is an entirely separate issue that also happened to involve Falsetto, the only reason to mention it here is to note how the aftermath of that Playhouse deal has made it worse for The Charles Avenue Historic Roadway.

Until that deal had been worked out Falsetto-connected companies (Double Park LLC and Paradise Parking Systems LLC) were able to pocket the parking fees on the lot between the Playhouse and the Bicycle Shop. However, once the Playhouse deal is certified (which is supposed to happen any day now) that parking revenue will revert to the Miami Parking Authority and Falsetto will be frozen out.

One blogger is calling for an investigation
into how those companies got the Playhouse parking concessions in
the first place. However, just like restaurants, parking lots are another business that deals in cash, in which skimming is notoriously rampant. Just saying.

So . . . remember those vacant lots on the north side of Charles Avenue that Falsetto may have acquired illegally? At least one of them is slated to be “flat parking,” presumably for the valet parking for the restaurants in The Monstrosity. This will replace some of the revenue lost to the Miami Parking Authority, which brings us to the latest Falsetto Bait & Switch. A while back he got the City of Miami to agree to a zoning variance on these vacant lots to allow him to shunt the valet car parking in and out of the lot behind the Playhouse. Now that variance will be used to create a surface parking lot on on what was always meant to be a residential street, before Gino Falsetto got his grimy hands on those properties.

In fact, before Gino Falsetto got his grimy hands on those properties there had been houses on those two double-wide lots on the north side of Charles Avenue. However, they were knocked down when The Monstrosity was being built so that Aries Development could use these lots as a marshaling yard for the construction of The Monstrosity. Rather than go out to Main Highway the construction materials were shunted in and out of the Stirrup property to the construction site.

Behind this sign honouring the original Bahamian residents of Coconut Grove
are the two vacant lots, seen here before 3 trees were removed from the that lot.
This vacant lot will apparently become “flat parking” on a street that had been
zoned residential before Falsetto started messing around. Now these lots will
be used for the fancy cars of the rich White folk who frequent Gino Falsetto’s
restaurants in The Monstrosity. Thus Falsetto profits his destruction?

I have been writing about the E.W.F. Stirrup House for 5 years. My stories on the house led to my stories on Trolleygate, which I have been writing about for the past year. However, it’s only been recently that I realized that what I was REALLY writing about was The Colour Line in Coconut Grove. My continued research has shown that The Colour Line has been shifting and moving in Coconut Grove for the last century. It’s only recently that the center has been shrinking at a rapid rate.

By that yardstick the E.W.F. Stirrup House crossed The Colour Line when Falsetto acquired control of it. The two houses, on the double-wide lots on the north side of Charles Avenue, crossed The Colour Line when ownership was slipped to Falsetto thru the back door, as it were, and they were destroyed to make way, eventually, for a parking lot. The property on which the Coconut Grove Playhouse sits crossed The Colour Line in 1926 when E.W.F. Stirrup sold it so that it could become a movie theater, bring culture to Coconut Grove. Prior to that the eastern edge of The Colour Line was Main Highway, the opposite side of which contains homes in the several millions of dollars today. That’s always been the White side of The Colour Line.

[Trolleygate is another issue in which several Black properties crossed The Colour Line. Those neighbours have banded together to wrest the 4 properties back to the other side of The Colour Line.]

It’s the rich cultural legacy of E.W.F. Stirrup that is being destroyed, along with his property. I won’t go into why Mr. Stirrup is important to the history of Coconut Grove here, as this post is long enough already. However, if you want to know how a Black man became a millionaire in the Jim Crow South and created a unique community in this country along the way, please read:


If you care about this issue, please join the facebook group Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House.

Oh, and in case I forgot, I’d like to wish you all a very happy and joyous Black History Month.

Here are two more video views documenting the most recent destruction of the E.W.F. Stirrup property at the hands of a rapacious developer, aided and abetted by the descendants of one of the most important men in Coconut Grove history.


Unpacking The Writer ► Unpacking The Readers

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If you’re relatively new to Not Now Silly, and/or my Unpacking The Writer series, let me hip you to one salient fact right now, so you don’t feel foolish from here on out: 

Long-time visitors are already clicking on every advert they can find on this page and the next. “Why?” you might ask. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Where my readers are from and the browsers they use? Wait! China?

Ready? Because this is the series in which I ask — either subtly or blatantly (and this month I’m going with blatant) — for you to help me pay for some of the costs of this blog by clicking on an advert, or 10. Believe me when I say the pennies I get from your clicks don’t quite cover the storage costs for all the images I use. So, if you’re reading, this you should be clicking that. It’s only fair.

Meanwhile, as I was prepping this blog post I took a glance at the latest Not Now Silly statistics. The Blogger platform doesn’t give me a whole lot of info about my readers, which is why I go over the little I do get like a Vodou bokor divining over freshly-killed chicken entrails. One stat that I find eminently fascinating is what search terms caused visitors to take the off ramp to my rest stop on the information highway. I check it regularly looking for surprises. Here’s today’s chart of search terms:

Because this screen grab was taken early in the day, that’s the only search term that brought a reader to my doorstep so far. The search terms are always truncated to around 40 characters, so there are times I’m forced to infer what these people were looking for. While I’ve written about Bob Marley, I doubt this inquisitive person was looking for anything that I could supply. The same can be said for Researcher #6 on the weekly list [below] who got here twice — or there are two guys (gals?) out there searching for exactly the same stuff:

While I believe in giving my readers what they want, I simply can’t fulfill every request

Googalizer results for “free video sex gay
negro black blog.” Who knew there were
that many people looking for Black gay porn?

I’m baffled that that string of words would bring someone here, as opposed to other web sites, far more on topic, on much busier thoroughfares on the information highway. These people must be really drilling down deep into the search results because when I plugged “free video sex gay negro black blog” into the Googalizer, Not Now Silly didn’t pop up until Page 9. You’d think they would have been satiated at the end of page one, doncha? And, just imagine their disappointment when they arrive here. [It occurs to me that using the search term in this paragraph is sure to bring more puzzled visitors, which are my favourite kind. And, I’ve probably just ensured that Not Now Silly ranks higher than Page 9 from here on in on THAT search term.] 

People who are searching Not Now Silly for something very specific are represented in the chart’s #1 position above. The truncated string ‘“coconut grove playhouse” (site:blogspo”‘ indicates that someone was searching this particular site for a very specific specific term, 5 different times. I sure hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer.

Drilling down into the monthly results brings a few surprises:

The monthly stats is where [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff appears. That means someone has found there way here using that search term in the last month, but not within the last week. I hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer. That used to be a much more frequent search term, but I guess Sarnoff’s office got tired of checking. TO BE FAIR: I’ve not really written much about him lately. I wonder whether this mention will warrant a visit.

Meanwhile, the same Coconut Grove Playhouse search from the weekly chart is also on the monthly, which means it’s more than a week old, but less than a month. At the #1 position on that chart is my post on Josephine Baker, of which I am far more proud than all those times I poked the [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff with a stick.

However, the chart I always find the most interesting is the All Time results, tabulated since I launched Not Now Silly on April 19, 2012:

What I find most amazing about this last chart is that 258 people arrived at Not Now Silly by searching for one variation or another of Three Stooges. Who knew they were so popular? What I like about this list is that it’s fairly eclectic list of topics because Not Now Silly is a fairly eclectic blog.

Just a few more agenda items before I sign off on this exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer:

I totally underestimated how long it would take to kick Chapter Two of my book, Farce Au Pain,
into shape for publication. I am narrowing in on it and really hope to
publish it for you on March 1st. You may wish to reacquaint yourself by
heading on over to the front door of Farce Au Pain. If you haven’t read it yet, boy are you in for a treat.

There’s
been a slight bit of news on Trolleygate, which I hope to write about
within the next week. I’ve been reading some legal documents and I need
to interview a few people to make sure I’ve interpreted them correctly. I
also want to see if I can get official comment from: 1). The City of
Miami; 2). The City of Coral Gables; 3). Miami-Dade County; 4). Astor
Development; 5). Anyone else who will take my calls. This could be a
busy week on the phone.

I continue to research the E.W.F. Stirrup House. While I have discovered some interesting information, I’m still closing in on the real history I’ve been seeking. In the meantime, in an effort to get more people interested in saving the E.W.F. Stirrup House from Demolition by Neglect, I’ve fired up a facebookery called, appropriately enough, Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House. If you’re a facebooker, please join the group. It’s jam-packed with info about the Stirrup House, Coconut Grove, and other instances of Demolition by Neglect.

I read all your correspondence.

A big hat tip to JN & DO for your suggestions concerning Headlines Du Jour. You’ll note I incorporated both your ideas, but just not both at the same time, if that makes sense. Oh, and AG: Your idea would have taken the focus away from the Headlines Du Jour, so . . . Never mind. However, there may be another way to use that idea at Not Now Silly, so stay tuned.

I had hoped that this month I would be announcing my contributions to a local franchise of a respected country-wide web operation. However, I’m awaiting a response to my first contribution ordered up by the editor.

Back in the day, when I used to write regularly for magazines, the final draft was sent to my editor by First Class Mail. If I didn’t hear back for several weeks, it was understandable. However, in this cyber-universe in which we now live, I can shoot a 1,000,000 word article to the other side of the world faster than I can type that old saw about the swift brown fox. It’s just possible I’m being impatient. Either that or I’m just nostalgic for the old days when editors were collaborators in shaping the final product. I need to curb my enthusiasm, in case things don’t work out.

I have learned that they squeal the loudest when you make fun
of Loofah Lad, but The Falafel King would know all about that.

Additionally, lastly — and most gratefully — things have been relatively quiet on the cyber-bully front lately. The Flying Monkey Squad has not been as obsessively stalkerish this past month as usual. However, that doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about me totally. They’ve only mentioned me enough to remind me to schedule some more timed tweets about them, not enough to warrant writing another full post about them. I’ll let all my previous posts about those psychotic miscreants stand for the time being. For the day to day hilarity, you could check The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society over at facebook.

A clue for the clueless: If you ever did forget about me, I promise to stop writing about you. I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. And, I know whose reputation is being hurt by this continued feud and it’s not mine. Your move, Chicolinis.

Dear readers: If you’ve read this far without clicking on an advert by now, you’re a poopyhead.

You Don’t Need A Groundhog To Know Which Way The Wind Is Blowing

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I forgot again. Every year I swear I will
write a Groundhog Day essay about my experiences working as a News
Writer in the CityPulse news room in Toronto on this day. However, the day always
seems to creep up on me. Maybe because I’d prefer to forget.

In the CityPulse [sic] News Room,
on BreakfastTelevision [sic], I was put on GroundhogWatch [sic] every year
because — after doing it just once — I already had experience writing
about rodent weather prognosticators. 

I think I wrote about Groundhog Day a total of 8
years in a row and it always seemed a lot like the movie.

Canada has its own Groundhog, of course. Wiarton Willie
is the buck-toothed mammal who Canadians turn to when they want to know
when Spring will end. This always complicated the story for me because
Wiarton Willie and Punxsutawney Phil made their predictions at THE EXACT
SAME TIME!!! This necessitated holding open two telephone lines, one to
Wiarton, Ontario, and the other to Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania,
waiting for word from the animal kingdom on whether there they saw their
shadows. Because Citytv had no budget to send people to Gobbler’s Knob
and Wiarton, I had to find — and then dragoon — news people in the
field at each scene who could relay the word to me so I could get it
before it hit the wires.

When I wrote all those Groundhog Day News Stories I tried
to include the words “Gobbler’s Knob” as often as possible

Because when you are covering
groundhogs YOU NEED TO BEAT THE COMPETITION!!! You not only NEED TO GET
IT RIGHT, YOU NEED TO GET IT FIRST!!!

Then there was that one
year when Wiarton Willie and Punxsutawney Phil were at (pun intended)
polar opposites in their predictions. It threw the entire newsroom into a
tizzy, but I’ll save that story for next year.

Since I got out of the Groundhog Game™, some new weather groundhogs have arrived on the scene. Shubenacadie Sam hunts for his shadow at the Shubenacadie Wildlife Park in the town of Shubenacadie, Nova Scotia.

However, all those Male Marmota Monax™ are going to have to move over for the new girl on the block. Dundas Donna is from Toronto and is taking the Weather World™ by storm. See what I did there?

An Open Letter To Miami Media

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The White Elephant completed and awaiting the end of lawsuits
I sent a variation of this letter to a local reporter. Because I worked on it for so long, and because every word I write is deserving of immortality, I am reprinting it here as an open letter in an amended form. Ahem. Testing . . . one . . . two . . . three . . . Ahem.

Dear Miami Media At Large:

Have I got a story for you. It’s a great story, one you can sink your teeth into and make your investigatory bones. It’s about waste and corruption within the City of Miami. I’d love to do it myself, but I’m just a little guy with a blog, yannow? I don’t have the resources you do, Miami Media, and I’ve been chasing this story for a year. 


I was alerted to Trolleygate right around this time last year, so I wrote “An Introduction to Trolleygate.” That’s when I really started
investigating this story. From the very beginning I
said the siting of the bus garage was, straight up, Institutional
Racism. It was not dissimilar to the racism that allowed West Grove to be gifted with Old Smokey all those decades ago. Therefore, it was heartening when
the USDOT agreed with me, which is the thrust of a recent Miami Herald article “How fed dollars for trolleys in Miami-Dade, local cities spurred civil rights investigation.” 

The article is correct, as far as it goes. However, it’s missing the entire point, as far as I’m concerned. It never asks:

“How did West Grove get stuck with
this white elephant in the first place?”

The deal between Astor Development and Coral Gables aside, there appears to have been a concerted effort within the City of Miami to get Astor’s dealie done with as little public input and awareness as possible. One of my off-the-record sources, an architect who has attended dozens of development meetings in several cities, tells me they’ve never seen a project approved so quickly in Miami. “A hot knife through butter” was the way it was described. Why? How? These are questions worth exploring, Miami Media.

From the very beginning of this project [allegedly] corrupt Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff seemed to be interested in making this happen on the QT, with as little muss and fuss as possible. Why? He allegedly helped Astor Development pit one West Grove community group off against another, which culminated in a huge lump sum of money ($250,000, apparently) being proffered by Astor Development for soil remediation of Armbrister Field. According to Miami Herald reporting, those people who were offered the money felt it was a bribe to get their approval for the maintenance garage, but considered it better than nothing if the garage was going to be built anyway. Why was Astor Development suddenly so magnanimous? How did Astor think to offer money to the community group in the first place? Who brokered this soil remediation deal with the community? Was Sarnoff a party to these negotiations? More questions you may wish to explore, Miami Media.

REMEMBER: This was before word broke that there was toxic soil all over Miami. What did Sarnoff know about toxic soil and when did he know it?

While those are all questions that need answers, Miami Media, there is one bigger question that might answer everything:

“Who is responsible for ignoring The Smoking
Gun email in the Miami Development Office?”

I wrote about this last September in “BLOCKBUSTER!!! The Trolleygate Smoking Gun Surfaces.” Follow the bouncing ball. To paraphrase my own reporting:

As the wheels were being greased to get this project through Miami City Hall quietly, Dakota Hendon — Miami Building and Zoning Department — noted something VERY inconvenient. The Astor/Coral Gables/West Grove trolley garage project they had been about to approve DID NOT comply with the Miami 21 Plan. Hendon should know. He helped write the Miami 21 plan. To that end he sent an email to Miami Planning Director Francisco Garcia [embedded here] to say this garage would be non-conforming because vehicle maintenance is an industrial use, which was prohibited on Douglas Road. [Not to mention that the Miami 21 Plan specifically prohibits things called “government operated vehicle maintenance facilities” on the Douglas Road corridor.]

At this point the City of Miami paper trail seems to go cold, except for one curious thing. Astor Development resubmitted its application to the City of Miami. This second, replacement, application was virtually identical to the first one, except this new one removed the word “maintenance” from the intended uses of the building.

Let’s be clear. The intended use of the building never changed. It was just a massaging of the wording on the original application once Hendon discovered there was a problem. And, on the basis of this amended application, the project was approved faster than “a hot knife through butter.”

The former Pan Am air clipper terminal has been restored beautifully
to become Miami City Hal. It’s where the alleged corruption now happens.

MORE QUESTIONS: Who told Astor to change its application? When Miami learned the project was non-conforming, why was the project not stopped dead in its trolley tracks? Why did Marc Sarnoff — only after the controversy erupted in the community — mount a Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show in a futile attempt to placate the West Grove community?

Where was the Miami Media at this laughable Town Hall Meeting? It was the kind of presentation that is usually given to taxpayers and stakeholders BEFORE a project is approved — in order to get it approved — not afterwards. Why was Sarnoff so concerned? Why was Sarnoff so involved? Why did Sarnoff spend taxpayers’ dollars to mount the Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show if it was already a done deal that couldn’t be changed? Who shepherded this project through the rough shoals at City Hall (to mix metaphors)? How did it get past goalkeepers Henden and Garcia? How much taxpayer money is now being spent by Coral Gables, Miami, and Miami-Dade to defend these [allegedly] corrupt backroom deals in the various legal forums that have erupted? (Astor pays its own freight, of course, and the West Grove community has been getting its legal services pro bono.) See, Miami Media, this story practically writes itself.

Miami Media, trust me on this one: You really won’t have much work to do in order to lay this entire fiasco at the feet of [allegedly] corrupt Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff. You’ll be hailed as a hero, too, because it will come right out of the blue. Sarnoff is rarely mentioned in stories about Trolleygate, despite the fact that he seemed to have his hands in almost every stage of this boondoggle in which Miami doesn’t even receive tax dollars, let alone a fake trolley stop.

Sarnoff’s interest in getting this disaster approved appears to have gone well beyond the basic fact that this polluting garage is in his district. Ask yourself this, Miami Media: If he was truly looking out for the interests of his constituents, Sarnoff could have interpreted every ambiguity in the zoning by-laws in favour of the West Grove community, as opposed to the OUT OF TOWN developer. However, Sarnoff said over and over at the Dog and Pony Show that his hands were tied because the project met all city standards, something we now know is not true.

If Sarnoff was truly looking out for the interests of his constituents, he would not have threatened them at the Dog and Pony Show. It was shocking to hear him casually claim that the West Grove lawsuit not only put in jeopardy the Arbrister Field bribe, but might cause him to withdraw HIS support for a redevelopment project currently in the planning stages for Grand Avenue. It was the most blatant example of Modern Day Colonialism I have ever witnessed. The naked political power dropped casually, as if he could not care less whether these projects go ahead, reminded me of Jim Crow. See, Miami Media? This story is really as old as the hills, if South Florida had any.

The Dog and Pony Show was my first contact with Sarnoff and I saw a bully in action. I’m surprised the Miami Media doesn’t write more about this aspect of his character, before he starts closing down the bridges in Miami.

The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park sculpture, which I have
nicknamed Marc. If Sarnoff had any empathy for children and
families he would not have allowed two-thirds of Blanche Park
to go to the dogs at the expense of a children’s playground.

And, just to put a fine point on this whole dealie: if Marc Sarnoff had any empathy for his constituents in West Grove, he would not have lined the back wall of the Dog and Pony Show with a largest police presence anyone can ever remember at a public meeting in Miami.

Could this be one of the [several] reasons my West Grove sources call him racist? Could this quiet racism be what allowed him to not even think about the residents of West Grove when approving this project, except on how to bamboozle them?

Would Marc D. Sarnoff have approved of this garage at, say, Shipping and Virginia, on the site of The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Dog Park, right next to The Marc D. Sarnoff Memorial Traffic Circle. Would he have pushed for this in any other residential neighbourhood outside of West Grove? Would it have gone through like “a hot knife through butter”?

So, you see, Miami Media, I think there are a lot of unanswered questions concerning Trolleygate, the least of which concerns the Department of Transportation’s objections concerning the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Which is ironic because Institutional Racism informs the whole project at every level, from the ground up. Ask this basic question, Miami Media, and spread out from here: Why was Astor Development able to find the cheapest land in West Grove?

So, there you have it, Miami Media. It’s a story of naked corruption and racism hiding in plain sight. It’s one you’ve pretty well been ignoring for a year. But, I’ve made it easy for you. I’ve wrapped the entire package with a pretty bow just for you. Start pulling at that ribbon, that leads to all these unanswered questions, you might just discover corruption at Miami City Hall. To paraphrase Captain Renault in Casablanca, “I’m shocked, shocked to find that corruption is going on at Miami City Hall.”

So, Miami Media, you may want to do your job and investigate these acute angles surrounding Trolleygate. And, let me remind you, Miami Media, reporters win Pullet Surprises writing about government corruption.

With all my love,
Headly Westerfield
[aka Aunty Em]

Looking Back ► Unpacking The Writer At The New Year

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From time to time I peel back the curtains — AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!! — and reveal what goes on behind the scenes here at Not Now Silly. The first day of the new year seems an appropriate time to sum up the previous one, doncha think?

Since starting this blog I have published 420 posts, 207 of them in 2013. When I started this blog I swore I’d post something every day. Little did I know how hard that would be. This past year I took a few weeks off here and there to recharge my batteries, research some bigger articles, and go on a road trip for research.

A year ago I was still doing regular Fox “News” snark with my 3 weekly series, Fox “News” Spin Cycle, Judge Not, and Chow Mein and Bolling. However, I got bored of those. Not to mention that compiling and formatting them was very time consuming. Which is the biggest reason I dropped ’em. I found meatier things to research and write about.

Such as Trolleygate. My first post on that topic came on January 27, 2013, with An Introduction to Trolleygate. I first learned of this story through a secret source, my Coconut Grove Deep Throat, who has tipped me to several stories now. However, I would never have won their trust had it not been for all my previous writing on Coconut Grove, and more specifically West Grove. When I learned of Trolleygate I called it racism, straight up:


As much as Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by Miami City Hall — which ironically is in Coconut Grove — Black Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by everybody. […]

Meanwhile, Black Coconut Grove gets stuck with all the negatives of a diesel bus garage from a neighbouring city. Furthermore, while it gets the increased traffic and pollution, the residents will not even get what is normally a benefit of a bus garage: a bus stop. Having a bus stop might allow Black Grove to get on the bus and ride to Merrick Park, or Miracle Mile, or any of those other swank places, including any multimillion dollar project by developers named Astor. It reminds me of how Robert Moses, who built the Long Island Expressway, purposely built all the underpasses too low to allow for buses. That’s so the ‘great unwashed’ couldn’t go to his beaches at Fire Island and Jones Beach.

Skip ahead to November: None other than the U.S. Department of Transportation confirmed what I had been saying all along. According to the US DOT, the lack of public notice and input contravenes the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It has ordered Coral Gables, the city of Miami and Miami-Dade County to come up with a plan for retroactive consultation with the affected communities. I don’t know how that’s going to work, but those three entities are going to submit a plan.

Meanwhile, just to wrap Trolleygate up in a nice bow: Coral Gables is currently suing Astor Development to get out of the deal it struck that resulted in Trolleygate in the first place. The residents of West Grove, who lost their first round in court, are planning to appeal. With the US DOT now involved it’s become one of the most confusing series of intertwined lawsuits that you can imagine.

Miami taxpayers owe it all to [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Mark D. Sarnoff. Sarnoff seems to have skated away from all responsibility [so far] for sticking the city, county, and Coral Gables with this White Elephant that will never be a “government operated vehicle maintenance facility.” There’s still the Smoking Gun email that was discovered and people continue to investigate who was responsible for telling Astor Development to remove the word maintenance from its 2nd application to build this garage. Speculation says it leads directly to Sarnoff.

Bring on the depositions!!!

Another brag: As 2014 closed, Not Now Silly had its best month ever. The blog had 13,719 clicks in December, which is an average of 442.5 a day. That beats my previous record of 12,067 from August, 2013. I don’t know where all those people come from, but I wish they’d leave some comments. As you can see on the graph above, the monthly numbers go up and down, but I’m happy with the steady progression of onwards and upwards.

This is also the year I broke the lid off a Watergate story hidden in plain sight all these years. It began with my post Aunty Em Ericann’s Bun Fight With James Rosen of Fox “News” and continued with a review of Rosen’s book in Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen, Or Did Rosen Dupe ‘Merka? To be BOTH “fair and balanced,” I also told the other side of the story with James Rosen Responds To Me, Sort Of and with the follow-up Serial Liar James Rosen Responds To Me Again. Long story short: I have rejected his explanations until he produces some evidence. My theory is on the table. He has yet to disprove it.

Another media bun fight I kept alive was versus the Coconut Grove Grapevine. I’m finally willing to admit that some of my feelings is sheer jealousy. Tom Falco gets advertising dollars for producing his reviews, event listings, and promotional bumph. While I have some Google averts here — AND CLICKING ON THEM WILL BE A GOOD THING! GO AHEAD — they produce pennies per post and my storage fees for the pics are higher than that. However, the other part of my frustration with the Grapevine is that it has a very large readership. Falco could be writing and/or researching and/or publishing news of importance to the people of Coconut Grove instead.

Mark Koldys during happier times

Sadly, I’m still fighting The Johnny Dollar Wars, a feud I never started and only kept alive by The Flying Monkey Squad.

Believe me, I would have ended it with Johnny Dollar Has Proven Himself To Be A Very Dangerous Person, posted 20 months ago. However, for reasons that only a psychiatrist and powerful psychotropic drugs would be able to determine, Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham (@JohnnyDollar01 and @Grayhammy on Twitter) have continued to cyber-bully me long after it made any real sense.

Dr Keith Ablow, whose motto is NORMAL OR NUTS, would have a field day with these wackos because they are still carry on this crazy
cyber conflict more than 3 years after they began it.

They latched onto me merely because I was a writer at NewsHounds — the motto of which is WE WATCH FOX SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO — and I refused to slink away like all the others they’ve cyber-bullied over the years.

Johnny Dollar’s site has a motto, too: CABLE NEWS TRUTH. I’m strill trying to get someone to explain what part of my alternative lifestyle came under that bullshit rubric.

I have a motto as well: READ THE TRUTH ABOUT JOHNNY DOLLAR. My last three J$ posts are, I believe, the ones that best sum up these crazy MoFos. If you’re going to read them, read them in this order: The Smoking Gun ► UPDATED! followed by Does Fox “News” Support Johnny Dollar? with Anatomy of a Cyber-Feud bringing up the rear.

To make a long story somewhat shorter: Nearly every day Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham spend hours on Twitter smearing me with lies and half-truths or having cute little circle jerks all about me.  The time they devote to it is legendary. Meanwhile, once a month I dash off a post about their mendacity that makes me laugh and, hopefully, entertains my readers. It seems to be working.

A moment in time: The All Time Top Ten with J$ at #8
with a bullet, and another J$ post bubbling under at 307 hits.

I’m building my reputation off Johnny Dollar’s back, one click at a
time, and it feels great. The first Mark Koldys post has recently
entered my All Time Top Ten and is moving up fast. [Check the current
All Time Top Tell in the column on the right.] The next highest is
bubbling under at 307 clicks. I’m content to continue writing about
Johnny Dollar, especially if it keeps getting those kinds of numbers.
The more people who read about Johnny Dollar the better, as far as I am
concerned.

You might have thought that some logic would have penetrated. You’d think they would have figured out by now whose brand is being tarnished by this silly Cyber War they started. Not Now Silly, as a brand new Rest Stop on the Information Highway™, had nowhere to go but up. J$’s reputation had nowhere to go but down. You really would think they’d stop already.

Last but not least: When I launched the serialization of my book Farce au Pain, I never anticipated how much work it would be to format the chapters in a way that pleased the eye and my exacting standards, especially within the limitations of the Blogger platform.

I thought I’d manage to post a chapter every month, but now it’s looking like every 45-60 days for me to get it all right. Here’s the way I figure it, to look at the glass as half full: If you are willing to wait that long for the next exciting episode after the cliffhanger, then I’m doing my job as a writer. If not, then I’m not sure it would have mattered had I posed the whole thing at once. But, we’ll never know, will we?

So . . . as we end this exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer, we have a brand new year to look forward to. Here’s to all the political muckraking, fights, and feuds to come in 2014!!!