Tag Archives: Fox And Friends

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Is Normal ► Today’s Ablow Job

Welcome to another fun-filled episode of Ablow Job. Not since Loofah Lad dumped Body Language Expert Tonya Reiman has there been such an idiotic segment on the Fox “News” Channel as “Normal or Nuts.”

That’s the official name of the weekly Wednesday Laugh-0-Thon that is really Ablow Job. Here’s how it normally [no pun intended] works: Those Foxy Friends on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out pop psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow and ask him to weigh in viewers’ emails to determine whether the average Fox “News” viewer is — err — normal or nuts. No, really. That’s it.

This week they dispensed with emails for a special all-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford edition of Normal or Nuts. The Foxy Friends asked Ablow to diagnose the crack smoking, drunk driving, criminal-hiring Mayor-In-Denial of the city I consider home, based on a few video clips. While everyone in the civilized world has recognized Mayor Rob Ford as a (gravy) train wreck, Ablow seems to think that Ford is simply misunderstood. Not even The Three Stooges were nuts enough to pick up what Dr. Keith was laying down. Watch:

While he called Ford a narcissist, Ablow also thinks Ford is “refreshing” because:
He’s direct, he’s clear, he says, “I know who my enemies are. I’m engaged and this is a battle to the end.” And, yannow what? If I were someone opposed to him, I’d say, “Wait! The game is on.”
No, Ablow really said that.
When Ford knocked over a a collegue last week while barreling over to the public peanut gallery, Abow seemed to think there was nothing abnormal about that behaviour since:
Number One: This woman kinda swoons. She doesn’t quite hit the deck. She kinda falls in a slow motion fashion, she gets up, and tries to comfort him. She may have a job as a therrapist in the future. I think he was doing a Chris Christie imitation, where Christie confronts people directly who are heckling him. He does it much more elegantly, but this guy’s channeling American [sic] politics.
Never mind that the only reason the woman didn’t fall over completely was because Ford caught her after he knocked her down. Even Steve Doocy, not always the smartest of Stooges, knew Ablow was full of shit when he responded, “I’m worried about you, Keith.”

Yet, Ablow says nothing about the bullying that Ford was engaged in at that exact moment in time when he was rushing over to the public peanut gallery to defend his brother, who was already heckling the citizens of Toronto. Had he not been such a bully in a china shop, he wouldn’t have given that woman a fat lip.
 The last video example has Rob Ford blaming his woes on “tax and spend socialists” on Toronto City Council. Dr. Forehead doesn’t think Ford is being paranoid at all:
“I’m not having this guy in my office ’cause he doesn’t need to come. He’s looking more and more NORMAL all the time. He probably is right about his detractors. Here’s a guy who stands up, and says, “Look, I’m not going to be a two-faced guy . . .”
Meanwhile, Doocy is yelling, “Hold it!!! Hold it!!! What about the crack smoking?!?!?!”
“Well, at least he admits it,” is this psychiatrist’s reply, proving he’s never dealt with people in denial about their substance abuse problems and alcoholism. At that the entire Curvy Couch erupted in laughter. Even they’re smart enough to finally realize Dr. Keith is a fraud.

AN AUNTY EM VIDEO BONUS:


A song for everything and everything for a song!

NEW FEATURE: Today’s Ablow Job ► “Dogs Love Fox”

Dr. Keith Ablow and the forehead that will not stop

IRONY ALERT: Let’s get it out of the way right out of the gate. Take a gander at that forehead. It goes all the way back to his ass. The irony? Dr. Keith Ablow was born in Marblehead, Massachusetts. You can’t make this shit up.

Incidentally, Marblehead is almost as White as Coral Gables, 97.6% White vs. 98% White, respectively. Maybe that’s where Ablow gets his overwhelming sense of privilege.

But I digress. As usual.

The weekly Fox and Friends “Normal or Nuts” segment, featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, is easily the stupidest Fox “News” idea since “body language expert” Tonya Reiman was a regular on the Loofah Lad Laugh-In hour. The Falafel King would have her view selective footage of someone that he wanted to trash and Reiman would usually comply. But at least she had something to examine: cherry-picked footage.

Not that Dr. Keith has ever needed anything to examine in order for him to psychoanalyze people he has never met. His several instant analyses of President Obama are infamous, as are these headlines culled from NewsHounds, where I used to toil as Aunty Em:

Fox’s Crackpot Dr. Ablow Likens Obama To A Wife Beater • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: Benghazi Was Part Of Some ‘Black Ops’ Psychological Warfare Against Americans • Fox’s Ablow Blames Australian Teen Murder In OK On Abortion • Fox Psychiatrist Ablow Cites Unabomber To Attack Liberals As ‘Psychologically Disordered’ • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: ObamaCare Will Lead To Riots • The Answer Is Ablow In The Wind • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Suggests Biden May Suffer From Dementia • Fox’s Dr. Ablow Reveals President Obama’s Abandonment Issues Behind His Gun Control Urges • Fox Psychologist Ablow: Gingrich’s Cheating Suggests He’ll Be A Strong President • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Trashes Chaz Bono – Fox News Scrubs Article

Hoo boy!!! Even Ablow’s WikiWhackyWoo was forced to add a a section under the rubric Controversial comments in the media. My favourite part:

During the 2012 Republican primary, Ablow wrote a column arguing that Newt Gingrich’s three marriages actually made him more qualified to be president. He wrote: “When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.”[19] The column was criticized, with Rod Dreher of The American Conservative commenting thusly: “Oh for frack’s sake. At some point, you have to wonder when shamelessness crosses the line from character defect to psychopathology. If only Dr. Leo Spaceman were a Republican, he could have a lucrative career on Fox.”[20]

Dr. Ablow later clarified that his position was that one’s private sexual life should remain private and that dissecting the sex lives of public figures was counterproductive and salacious.

Counterproductive and salacious. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It might be well for Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, to remember that. But, I digress. As usual.

Once a week, as the putative Fox “News” quack headshrinker, the Three Stooges on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out Dr. Keith for “Normal or Nuts.” Dr. Keith is read about 20 words of an email — not much longer than a tweet — and Dr. Keith pretends to make a snap diagnosis on whether they are “Normal or Nuts.” Hilarity ensues.

Having worked a decade on a morning tee vee infotainment news show as a news writer, field producer, booker, and segment producer, I can assure you that it’s not really a snap judgement. He’s given the emails in advance. Regardless how much time he has to think about it, it’s a scant amount of information with which to diagnose someone and call them a “lunatic” like he did this week.

Check out this week’s Ablow Job:

The best line in this segment came at the very end, and not by Dr. Ablow at all. Steve Doocy sums up the perfect Demographic just before the fade out. It has to be heard to be appreciated.

If Fox “News” is so proud of it’s resident headshrinker why doesn’t the Fox “News” website’s list of  On Air Personalities include Ablow? The “A”s start at Alicia Acuna, and run through Carol Alt, Dr. Manny Alvarez, Jim Angle, Lauren Ashburn, with David Asman bringing up the rear. See what I did there?

No matter. Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of Ablow Job, brought to you by the only tee vee hosts whose average IQ score is a negative number.

The Girls On Fox “News”

Austin Cunningham hiding his
mid-back-length hair in a ponytail.

Austin Cunningham is a Country Music singer/songwriter who’s not yet popular enough to have his own Wikipedia page created by his management team. 

No matter, because with his latest song he’s attempting to become the next Willie Nelson, or is that Ray Stevens? The truth of the matter is it’s hard to know whether Cunningham is being serious or delirious with his latest song “The Girls On Fox News.” I wonder if the Foxy “girls,” who would prefer to be known for their brains, not their beauty, are amused. Maybe they are simply flattered. Regardless, here’s one song you won’t be hearing any time soon on Fox “News,” no matter how much of a toe-tapper it is.

I had to go all the way to Austin Cunningham’s own web site for his bio:

Early on in his career, Garland, Texas native Austin Cunningham carved out a place for himself as a songwriter. He has had songs recorded by artists such as Hank Williams, Jr., Martina McBride, Dolly Parton, Wynonna, Chris Knight, Del McCoury, and the list goes on. Austin has songs on feature film soundtracks including Ashley Judd’s Where the Heart Is, and the Richard Gere/Winona Ryder film, Autumn in New York. He and his music are featured in “Hey Dillon”, a documentary about one of the “last great DJs”, Brett Dillon of KHYI in Dallas. Austin has performed at the Sundance Film Festival for the Bluebird Café On the Road series, and a few years back, was awarded the coveted Johnny Mercer Award for “Emerging American Songwriters”.

Although writing is Austin’s first passion, he is no slouch at performing, blazing a trail with live shows across the U.S. and is a favorite on the Texas Music Scene. With a strong voice and some of the best guitar playing you’ll ever hear, he always manages to captivate his audience. Whether performing an acoustic solo, or rocking the house with a strat and a full band, it is entertainment at it’s best. This is just good, roots music mixed with great stories.

The best story he’s told so far, aside from that biography, is about the “girls” on Fox “News.” If you want to catch Austin live, here’s his full schedule. He seems to be playing all the big rooms:

Mar 26, 2013 – Cadillac Pizza Pub –  Mckinney, TX
Apr 30, 2013 – Cadillac Pizza Pub – Mckinney, TX
May 4, 2013 – Soldier’s Wings Benefit Show – San Antonio, TX
May 18, 2013 – Kevin Deal’s Texas Music Revival – Denison, TX
May 28, 2013 – Cadillac Pizza Pub – Mckinney, TX
Jun 1, 2013 – Joey – Pottsville, TN

Bully Boy Bolling Believes Bullshit Baffles Brains

GRRRR!!!

It was an epic battle this morning on Fox and Friends as Geraldo Rivera and Bully Boy Bolling battled it out over the tragedy in Benghazi on September 11, 2012.

Let’s not forget — as Geraldo clearly has not — that on September 12th, Fox “News” was already politicizing the deaths in the Benghazi attack. However, it must be noted, Fox “News” was merely regurgitating Mendacious Mitt’s talking points from the night before. Mittens began politicizing this tragedy while it was still ongoing and before anyone knew there had even been deaths.

That’s why for the past 7 weeks Fox “News” had done little more than make up lies about what happened in Benghazi in order to smear President Obama. It’s been virtually non-stop. This past week Fox “News” barely took time out to report on the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy because that would have taken precious time away from blaming President Obama for the Libyan attack.

This morning Geraldo Rivera appeared with those Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends and attempted to add some reasonableness to the Fox “News” invented hysteria. At first, it sounded like it would go well:

STEVE DOOCY: We’re gonna talk about the problems around here in the New York series — City — area with Geraldo who’s got some boat damage, ummm, in a moment, but first let’s talk a little bit about Libya.

GERALDO: Okay.

DOOCY: So much more information out. New cables show that the militia charged with protecting the consulate, apparently, uhh, cables show they — it was likely infiltrated with Islamists. We couldn’t trust them. Also, apparently, the State Department declined to send this rapid response team, uhh, which has been sent in the past to help, uhh, on the Cole and investigations and stuff like that. They could have actually gotten in sooner than the FBI did — it took them 24 days. And, finally, we were telling folks yesterday about the emergency meeting they had just about 3 weeks before September 11th, Twenty Twelve, where the the consulate people said, “Hmmm, We really can’t protect ourselves. There are all of these training grounds here. We are screwed.”

GERALDO: That’s a mouthful and [measuring his words carefully] I just have to say that for us to be probing this 3 or 4 days before the election guarantees that reasonable prudence will not be exercised because of the —

DOOCY: But Geraldo, Fox “News” has been looking at this for over a month.

GERALDO: Okay. Let me — uhh, err — Please, I didn’t come to argue with you.

DOOCY: Okay.

Let’s stop right there for a moment and parse. Doocy sets Geraldo up with allegations, totally devoid of any facts, with 126 words. Geraldo gets out 39 words which, if you watch the video, he is carefully weighing and measuring so as to not offend and to be able to get his point across. However after 39 words, during which Geraldo never even gets to his point, Doocy’s heard enough. He interrupts with the most accurate thing he’s said in months, although it would have been more accurate for him to say that Fox “News” has been politicizing this tragedy for more than a month. Geraldo re-measures his words, and says he didn’t come to argue. It seems as if Bully Boy wasn’t listening. Let’s pick up where we left off.

GERALDO: Okay. Let me — uhh, err — please. I didn’t come to argue with you.

DOOCY: Okay.

GERALDO: I just wanna —

DOOCY: But it’s frustrating.

No more frustrating than it is to hear Fox “News” lie day after day to politicize the deaths of these brave people in Benghazi. At that point Rivera is actually given a couple of minutes to accurately lay out the timeline of events. However, at about the 4 minutes mark — and I’m surprised he got that far — Bully Boy Bolling boils over and finally explodes. That’s when the fireworks begin. While Bully Boy Bolling blusters, Geraldo tries to battle back. However, it devolves into a three and a half minute shoutfest in which Geraldo makes several good points, including:

“That is an obscene lie. You are a politician looking to make a political point” and “You are misleading the American people because you want to make a political point.” Geraldo accurately called Bully Boy a liar several times. I’m surprised they didn’t come to blows.

You’ll just have to watch. The good stuff starts at 4:00 and they never did get to Geraldo’s boat:


As usual, Bully Boy Bolling shows no shame. He was so proud of his lies that he sent out the following afterwards:

Bully Boy Bolling truly hopes that bullshit baffles brains and he’s full of it.

Another Magical Tee Vee Moment ► Ernest Borgnine’s Secret To Long Life ► R.I.P.

Those Foxy Friends at Fox and Friends have a way of bringing out the best in people. Here they get Ernest Borgnine to reveal his secret to longevity.

R.I.P.

Today’s Fox Snark ► Gretchen Carlson ► Redux

I spoke too soon.

Today’s Fox Snark ► Gretchen Carlson

HEY!!! Look who got the memo.

Let’s see how long it lasts.

Sick Joke of the Day

While perusing the Fox News facebook page to see if I liked any of the people it liked, I came across the following that still has me laughing out loud.

 

Unretouched photo captured by author while LOLing

You’re welcome.

Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Let’s parse, shall we?

By “this guy” Mark Koldys is referring to the President of the United States of ‘Merka. As if that’s not bad enough, he’s setting up a false equivalency between the POTUS and Steve Doocy, one of The Three Stooges on the Curvy Couch on Fox and Friends. Third, he never really made a correction.

Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Just getting around to this one from yesterday.  Here’s Johnny Dollar either being as dumb as a stump or being disingenuous:

Clearly someone at Fox News thought it was a bigger deal than J$ because they pushed Steve Doocy out in front of the camera to make a rare apology:

Having some fun now!!!