Tag Archives: George Clooney

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, December 13, 2013

It’s Friday the 13th and the Not Now Silly news interns have been toiling all night long in the darkest recesses of the internet, collecting only the must scrumptious headlines for your reading pleasure. So, here are today’s unlucky Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE OF THE MONTH:

U.S. Charity Revealed As Buyer
Of Hopi Masks, Promises To
Return Artifacts To Tribe

LGBT NEWS:

George Clooney Addresses Gay Rumors In The Best Way Possible

TODAY IN IMMIGRATION:

Arizona detective quits after learning she’s
been living in the U.S. illegally since childhood

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Virginia GOP senatorial candidate: Desegregation
‘was the beginning of the decline’ for schools

Volunteer fire chief resigns over shockingly offensive Facebook posts, but denies he’s racist

COMPASSION CORNER:

Startup CEO Wishes Homeless ‘Degenerates’ Would
Stop Ruining ‘The Civilized Part’ Of San Francisco

IT’S A SMALL WORLD, AFTER ALL:

We Found This 20-Year-Old T-Shirt In Kenya. The Internet Found The Original Owner

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade
Mocks Nelson Mandela Sign
Language Interpreter

Other ‘Verifiable Facts’ for Fox to Investigate
About Your Favorite Christmas Characters

NO LONGER PREGGY LEGGY MEGGY IN THE NEWS:

Megyn Kelly Wants Kids At Home To Know That Jesus And Santa Were White

What Megyn Kelly’s White Santa Says About Power Dynamics In Journalism

The (Race) War on Christmas: Megyn Kelly Declares ‘Santa Claus Just Is White’ and So Was Jesus

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Rachel Maddow: GOP in shambles as internal war goes public

GOP Planning on Tighter Control Over 2016
Primaries: Fewer Debates, Better Moderators

THE “G” IN GOP STANDS FOR GOD:

For Budget Deal, Paul Ryan Called the Jesus of the Republican Party

THE NEWEST EXCUSE FOR RICH PEOPLE TO GET AWAY WITH MANSLAUGHTER:

Texas man who lost wife and daughter to rich kid drunk driver fuming over sentence

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Rob Ford: Daniel Dale tells us why he’s taking legal action
I am serving the mayor of Toronto with a libel notice. Here’s why.

Rob Ford: Daniel Dale files libel notice against Toronto mayor
Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale has served a libel notice against Mayor Rob Ford and Vision
TV in connection with comments Ford made on Conrad Black’s television show The Zoomer.

BEST HEADLINE OF THE DAY:

The woolly jumper flashmob that became a YouTube hit
Loes Veenstra spent 50 years knitting woolly jumpers on her home street in
Rotterdam only to pack them away, never to be worn. Surely she and they
deserved better? Enter one very colourful (and toasty) flashmob

VIDEO DU JOUR:


 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Happy Birthday Chuck Barris

Today all of ‘Merka is celebrating the 84th birthday of game show producer, Gong Show Host, and paid CIA assassin Chuck Barris. 

Barris is often called the Father of Reality Television, a smear he has tried to live down. However, few people realize that long before he launched The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show, he wrote Freddie “Boom Boom” Cannon’s greatest hit, “Palisades Park.”


Less known is his career as a CIA hit man who rubbed people out in exotic locations around the world, while chaperoning Dating Game couples who won All Expense Paid Trips™. Barris repented in his “unauthorized autobiography” Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. The book was so compelling that director George Clooney felt compelled to turn it into a docudrama, with great effect.

However, no matter how many bad people he’s killed (33 at last report), Chuck Barris will never have been a greater service to his country than he was when he created The Gong Show. Your argument is invalid.





This segment was censored before being broadcast to the west coast





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Happy Birthday Chuck Barris

Today all of ‘Merka is celebrating the 84th birthday of game show producer, Gong Show Host, and paid CIA assassin Chuck Barris. 

Barris is often called the Father of Reality Television, a smear he has tried to live down. However, few people realize that long before he launched The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show, he wrote Freddie “Boom Boom” Cannon’s greatest hit, “Palisades Park.”


Less known is his career as a CIA hit man who rubbed people out in exotic locations around the world, while chaperoning Dating Game couples who won All Expense Paid Trips™. Barris repented in his “unauthorized autobiography” Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. The book was so compelling that director George Clooney felt compelled to turn it into a docudrama, with great effect.

However, no matter how many bad people he’s killed (33 at last report), Chuck Barris will never have been a greater service to his country than he was when he created The Gong Show. Your argument is invalid.





This segment was censored before being broadcast to the west coast





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