All posts by Headly Westerfield

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, September 28, 2014

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Hello again, Headliners! Today’s birthday is celebrated by Ben R. King, singer with The Drifters. He’s seen more than his share of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Today’s Headlines Du Jour is fortified with far more Fox “News” tomfoolery than usual because they were bigger idiots than usual:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

FREE THE WEED!!!

TODAY IN RELIGION:

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKS:

THE FAKE NEWS SHOWS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:


THE FAKE FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY AND DANA PERINO IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE TARANTULA IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Andrea Tantaros: “He Was One Of The Most
Divisive, Polarizing, Controversial, Most
Dangerous Men In America … He Ran The
DOJ Much Like The Black Panthers Would”

WRETCHED GRETCHED IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

OUTNUMBERED IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

NEIL CAVUTO IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

New data suggest the poles could be reversing for the
first time in 780,000 years. Here’s how it affects you

IN OUTER SPACE:

A dramatic recent “discovery”
in physics is looking rather dodgy

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

The Turtles and the Airwaves ► A Modern Day Fable

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Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan aka Flo & Eddie

Remember Aesop’s fable of The Tortoise and the Hare? The moral of that story: slow and steady wins the race, especially against a tricky opponent. Today’s Fable Du Jour, kiddies, is how The Turtles, of Happy Together fame, won a huge lawsuit against SiriusXM, a decision that will have profound effects on Show Bidnezz. 

So, gather ’round children and stop fidgeting. I call this modern day fable, “The Turtles and the Airwaves.” It also has tricky adversaries, but ends with the same moral: one step at a time will get you there, especially if you can outwit your protagonists. However, because it’s updated for the 21st Century, this race ends in a courtroom, not a finish line. 

But first, a word from our sponsor:

Our story begins all the way back in the last century, in the ’60s, when a bunch of teenagers with a wacky dream started a Rock and Roll band. Call them The Turtles because that’s what they called themselves, after changing their name from The Crossfires when they signed a recording contract. Because they were young and stupid, the contract they signed with White Whale Records would come back to kick them in the ass later.

But that was all in the future. As the ’60s progressed, The Turtles delivered on their end of the bargain, recording Top Ten hit after Top Ten hit. However, The Turtles were pretty much all that was keeping White Whale afloat. It already had serious financial troubles and no other hit-makers. The company pressed Volman and Kaylan, the lead singers of The Turtles, to dump the rest of the group and tour with a pick-up band. It also wanted the Mark and Howard to just add their voices to backing tracks and tunes cut by other musicians. Eventually the White Whale went belly up, which is when that crazy contract reared its clause. [Geddit?]

When they were too young to know any better, and just wanted to make music, Volman and Kaylan had not only signed away the rights to the Turtles name, but had actually signed away the right to use their own names. In one of the most Kafkaesque chapters in the entire Kafkaesque history of Rock and Roll, Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan were prevented from calling themselves Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan.

That’s when Flo & Eddie (originally The Phlorescent Leech and Eddie, but shorted to a pun; rivers can both flow and eddy) were born. Prevented from using their own names, Flo & Eddie joined Frank Zappa’s band and recorded several LPs with him, as well as appearing in the movie “200 Motels.”

FULL DISCLOSURE: I’ve been a Frank Zappa fan since Freak Out was a new LP. I saw it at my local Kresge’s and it was the ugliest band I had ever seen in my life. I bought the 2-record set and played it for hours on end while I poured over the crazy graphics and liner notes. That’s why I could quote from memory certain passages printed inside the gatefold cover, including:

“I’d like to clean you boys up a bit and mold you. I believe I could make you bigger than The Turtles.”
~~~~~A NOTED L.A. DISC JOCKEY

The irony of those words were not lost on me when I learned Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan had joined Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. Over the years Zappa had many amazing musicians in his band, but the short-lived Flo & Eddie Years have always been my favourite Zappa era. 

TANGENT OVER

Flo & Eddie released several records under that name and, along the way, provided back up vocals to T. Rex, Alice Cooper, and Bruce Springsteen, among others. And, as improbable as this sounds after their scatological residency with Zappa, provided music for The Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake. As well, Volman & Kaylan litigated the White Whale issues, eventually winning the right to not only use the name The Turtles, but their own names as well, hence the billing The Turtles featuring Flo & Eddie.

However, life is a marathon. The next leg in this race came in 1974, when White Whale’s assets were sold at auction to satisfy creditors in bankruptcy. When the hammer came down Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan had bought full ownership of all their old recordings, making them a rarity in the music biz: the workers owning the means of production.That’s when they were able to start re-releasing The Turtles music, either in original form or on Greatest Hit packages; a cottage industry that continues to this very day.

And, that’s where this Fable Du Jour really begins: Remember how stupid the boys were that they signed away their own names? [See above.] They’ve learned a lot in 5 decades. Especially, Mark Volman, who is also known these days as Professor Mark Volman. According to the WikiWackyWoo:

[A]t age 45 he started his bachelor’s degree at Loyola Marymount University. Volman graduated with a B.A. degree in 1997 Magna cum Laude and was the class valedictorian speaker. During the speech he led the graduates in a chorus of “Happy Together“. CBS Evening News covered Volman’s graduation and interviewed his parents who were perplexed at their son’s academic accomplishments.[1]

Volman went on to earn a Master’s degree in Fine Arts with an emphasis in screenwriting
in 1999 also from Loyola. Since that time, he has taught Music Business
& Industry courses in the Communications and Fine Arts department
at Loyola. He has also taught courses in the Commercial Music Program at
Los Angeles Valley College. He is currently an Associate Professor and Coordinator of the Entertainment Industry Studies Program at Belmont University in the Mike Curb College of Entertainment and Music Business and conducts seminars about the music industry for various academic institutions from junior high school
to University level. In addition, he offers consulting on music
business and entertainment through the website Ask Professor Flo.[2]

With no personal knowledge whatsoever, I suspect Volman was the partner who figured out SiriusXM was ripping them off. [To be fair: If you’re working in the music business it’s a good bet that somebody’s ripping you off.] Last year Flo & Eddie, Inc. launched a $100,000,000 lawsuit against SiriusXM, arguing that the company was not compensating them for playing recordings made before 1972. SiriusXM argued it didn’t have to.The judge said, “Hold on there, Buckaroos.”

Copyright law is complicated. Musical copyright law even more so. Long story short: Essentially, musical recordings made before 1972 did not get copyright protection when the federal copyright law was drafted and passed. Therefore, pre-’72 recordings could be played on SiriusXM stations without having to pay compensation. Flo & Eddie, Inc. argued that California’s 1982 copyright law — which allowed payments for such use — should take precedence.

Long story even shorter: U.S. District Judge Philip Gutierrez agreed with Flo & Eddie’s lawyers and granted summary judgement against SiriusXM. [On anther issue, concerning music copied onto servers and provided on-demand, the judge wanted to hear further arguments.]

Owning their own recordings also means that
The Turtles can put out boutique items, like this
recently released vinyl set of 45 RPM singles,
recreating the original sleeves and record labels.

You can get one of your very own HERE.

There’s no downplaying how big this judgement is. The Hollywood Reporter called it a “crushing loss” in a “high stakes battle” in its Headline Du Jour and “legal earthquake” in the lede. Eriq Gardner goes on to say:

But overall, this is a whopping ruling with consequences almost impossible to overstate. In the short term, the ruling will likely be appealed as the plaintiffs eye a trial that will determine the awarding of damages. In the long term, it could compel SiriusXM, Pandora and many in the tech industry to strongly lobby Congress for new copyright laws that cover pre-1972 recordings. The ruling also will — or should — be read closely by other businesses including terrestrial radio operators and bars that publicly perform older music.


SiriusXM is facing another lawsuit from the RIAA in California as well as more lawsuits from Flo & Eddie in other states. Pandora is also facing a lawsuit by record labels in New York. And the ruling potentially opens the floodgates to more litigation on the issue of pre-1972 music.

This ruling applies to so much of the music that was recorded prior to 1972. And, it could change the entire business model of music streaming companies like Spotify and Pandora. However, kids, this fable is not about Pay Radio, or streaming services, or even multi-million dollar judgements. This is the story of how two Turtles, putting one foot in front of the other for the last 49 years, managed to outwit one of the biggest media companies in the planet and win one of the biggest races ever run.

And, it couldn’t happen to two nicer guys.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, September 25, 2014

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Hello, Headliners! Today’s the birthday of poet, children’s author, cartoonist, and singer- songwriter Shel Silverstein. He saw his share of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Today’s Headlines Du Jour:

IN LGBT NEWS:

A priest and bishop in Montana say
that’s the only way two gay men
who are lifelong Catholics can have
their church privileges restored.

MORE OF THAT REPUBLICAN OUTREACH:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

FREE THE WEED!!!

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FIVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Blackwater’s Erik Prince: Mercenaries Are
As “Part Of American History As Apple Pie”
Krauthammer: “Do You Really Want To Be Running Around
The World Responsible For A Band Of Desperados?”

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Playing Checkers or Chess?

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Happy Anniversary!!! It was 62 years ago today that Richard Milhous Nixon cemented himself into the national consciousness with his Checkers speech.

Oh, sure, Nixon had been in the news before. He already had a reputation for dirty politics and anti-Communism, linking his opponent in the 1946 campaign to communists. As a Congressman he used his relationship with J. Edgar Hoover, and access to secret FBI files, to push himself as Chair of the Committee on Un-American Activities (HUAC) investigating the Alger Hiss spy ring. He was even allowed to accompany FBI agents to the Pumpkin Patch, where secret microfilm was discovered inside a hollowed pumpkin. No. Really!

He used this press to catapult himself into the Senate in 1950. And, even that election had its share of dirty mudslinging on Nixon’s part. Running against Rep. Helen Gahagan Douglas, he accused her of being “pink right down to her underwear.”

Just 14 years after entering national politics Richard Nixon was tapped as Dwight D. Eisenhower running mate in the 1950 election. However, there was a little wrinkle. The Backroom Boys back in California — the ones that had originally pushed for him to run for Congress and later Senator — were quietly supporting him on the QT by topping up his salary.

The press got wind of this slush fund. There was nothing illegal in it, of course, but it gave off a terrible stench. Was there any Quid Pro Quo? Conflict of interest? Nixon was about to be dumped from the ticket. In order to save his political life Nixon went on tee vee to deliver what became known as The Checkers Speech.

It was a cloying speech, watched by more than 60 million people, but it saved Nixon’s ass. The ‘Merkin public sent in telegram after telegram in support of Nixon for Veep. However, Eisenhower kept Nixon dangling on whether he still had the general’s support. Nixon came this close to withdrawing from the ticket, but was urged to hold on. Eventually Eisenhower felt the groundswell of public support and backed Nixon wholeheartedly.

I was only 3 months old when Nixon gave his Checkers speech, yet there are whole passages I can practically recite by heart. Why is it called The Checkers Speech? Because this:

Let me say this: I don’t believe that I ought to quit because I’m not a quitter. And, incidentally, Pat’s not a quitter. After all, her name was Patricia Ryan and she was born on St. Patrick’s Day, and you know the Irish never quit.


One other thing I probably should tell you because if we don’t they’ll probably be saying this about me too, we did get something-a gift-after the election. A man down in Texas heard Pat on the radio mention the fact that our two youngsters would like to have a dog. And, believe it or not, the day before we left on this campaign trip we got a message from Union Station in Baltimore saying they had a package for us. We went down to get it. You know what it was.


It was a little cocker spaniel dog in a crate that he’d sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl-Tricia, the 6-year old-named it Checkers. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we’re gonna keep it.

IRONY ALERT: Nixon also said, “Let me say this: I don’t believe that I ought to quit because I’m not a quitter. And, incidentally, Pat’s not a quitter. After all, her name was Patricia Ryan and she was born on St. Patrick’s Day, and you know the Irish never quit.” 

What amazes me is everything that came AFTER the Checkers speech. In point form:

• Nixon runs and loses against John Kennedy in 1960′
• Nixon runs for the governorship of California and loses, resulting in “You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore speech to the press;
• Everyone counts him out as a political force;
• Wins the 1968 Republican nomination;
• Goes on to win the presidency
• Becomes the first, and so far only, president to resign in disgrace.

You have to admit Nixon’s entire story has the arc of a tragic opera. Yet, had it not been for his success on the Checkers speech, Nixon might have just been a footnote in the history books.

Video created by author from public domain photographs

Further reading: All my writing on Watergate and Nixon can be found HERE.

See how I memorialized the 60th Anniversary in Richard Nixon’s Checkers Speech ► Another Magical Tee Vee

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, September 23, 2014

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Hello again, Headliners!Today’s birthday belongs to Mickey Rooney, who died earlier this year. He launched more than his fair share of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

GOP STANDS FOR GOT OUR PREJUDICES:

WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

FREE THE WEED!!!

TEACHERS HOLD OUR FUTURE:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

U.S. Naval War College Professor Tells O’Reilly:
“This Is A Terrible Idea, Not Just As A
Practical Matter But As A Moral Matter”

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

HARRIS FAULKER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Harris Faulker Discussing Man Who Jumped White House
Fence: “I Couldn’t Help But Let My Mind Just Flow” To Benghazi

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, September 21, 2014

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Howdy Headliners!!! Today is the last full day of Summer and the birthday of Leonard Cohen, Canadian poet, novelist and singer. Born in 1934, he’s seen his number of Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Now here is today”s Headlines Du Jour:

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL:

MORE EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:

FREE THE WEED!!!

What should happen to weed users and dealers busted before the stuff was legal?

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FALAFEL KING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Fox’s Varney: Generous “Welfare
Web” Keeps People In A “Gilded Cage”

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

FOX & FRIENDS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

NO LONGER PREGGY LEGGY MEGGY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

WRETCHED GRETCHED IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Unpacking The Writer ► Packing Up the Newsroom

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Welcome to another exciting episode of Unpacking the Writer, the monthly column in which I pull back the curtain — Wizard of Oz-like — and expose some of the inner-workings of a low-budget innertube news room and its hardworking staff.

First up, and most importantly, we had another recent health scare with Pops. While out having dinner with the boys, he choked on a piece of treif (breaded shrimp) and had to be Heimliched by a EMT who just happened to be at the restaurant. None of Pops’ friends picked up on the warning signs that he was choking. Had it not been for the EMT, Pops would have choked to death. He was rushed to the hospital as a precaution, wanting to make sure he didn’t aspirate any food. They kept him a few nights, until all tests proved him good to go. Now he’s back home and back into his regular groove.

A scare like that makes me realize I’ve not really developed a back up plan. My original plan when I moved to Florida never came to fruition. When I arrived I figured it would be easy to find a job as a professional writer, something I had actually been for many decades in Canada. However, I was going from the small pond of Canada into the mighty ‘Merkin ocean. I couldn’t even get the sharks to look at this minnow, to torture the metaphor further. I found it impossible to get editors in Florida to even look at my previous writing, let alone consider a conversation with someone from — sniff — Canada. They all got off the phone with me as quickly as possible.

Meanwhile, I wrote for Newshounds (“We watch Fox so you don’t have to”) for a couple of years under the nom de plume of Aunty Em; and also free-lanced for Stones Detroit; Curbed Miami (one day I hope to get paid the miniscule amount promised for that feature article); PolitucusUSA; and had a disastrous experience at WebVee Guide that started out looking quite lucrative, but ended in farce in just one week. That was easily the craziest experience I’ve ever had with an editor in a writing career working with crazy editors.

Long story short: I’ve simply been unable to find a self-sustaining and continuous source of writing income.

I make no bones about it. I started the Not Now Silly Newsroom (in part) with the hope that it would generate some slight income. While the Not Now Silly Newsroom has generated some money, it’s so miniscule that it would barely keep a hamster alive. I eat far more than hamsters.

The biggest problem is that I’ve not been able to attract sufficient eyeballs to light up the scoreboard. Naturally I feel my writing is so golden that I’m confused the world has not beat a path to this mousetrap. I may have misjudged my cheesy appeal. NAH! Who am I kidding? I’m great! Like finely aged brie.

I’ve managed to convince myself it’s merely because not enough people have shared these articles with their family, friends, children, neighbours, and grocer. (Hint. Hint.)

Another problem in attracting eyeballs — or so I’ve been told many times by many people — is that I am using the Blogger platform, as opposed to a a WordPress template under my own domain name. To that end I’ve hired a big deal Web Designer, with offices on two continents and clients around the World Wide Web. With this company’s guidance the Not Now Silly Newsroom is being rebuilt from the ground up. I’m excited because I’ve seen the mock-ups. I hope you are too.

However, it’s more important than ever before that the Not Now Silly Newsroom generate some income, because there are additional costs associated with this renovation. Only propriety, and the Blogger Terms of Service, prevent me from begging you to click on the adverts on this page. (Hint. Hint.)

Not all headlines are funny. Some are quite tragic.

HEADLINES DU JOUR: I can’t remember if I shared the genesis and creation of Headlines Du Jour, but it can’t hurt to repeat it. Remember: It’s only a rerun if you’ve heard it before.

Headlines Du Jour came to me in a dream. No, really, I dreamed it. 

I don’t usually remember my dreams when I wake up, other than wisps of smoke that I can’t hold onto for more than a minute or two. One morning I woke up after having worked an entire night in the Not Now Silly Newsroom in my dream state. Yannow those dreams when you wake up after you’ve been on the job all night? One of those suckers.

I woke up that morning with the idea of Headlines Du Jour almost fully-formed. I even remembered laughing in the dream over the phrase “today’s Headlines Du Jour.” I took this as an omen and created Headlines Du Jour almost immediately. It only took some minor tinkering for Headlines Du Jour to arrive at its current format.

Sadly I never dreamed how much work it would be to collect, compile, and collate the headlines, not to mention: formatting the post; adding the pics, which luckily are already on my hard drive due to my obsessive pic collecting; and thinking up those snarky little rubrics. It can take anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5 hours from start to finish, depending on the breaks, to post a Headlines Du Jour. Some days, when it’s finally been put to bed (to use an old magazine term for published) I’m already exhausted.

That’s why I’ve chosen to only do it 3 days a week: Tuesday, Thursday, and on the weekends (usually Sunday). I’m trying to reserve the days between for writing smaller posts, so I can get back to posting something almost every day, and/or researching some of my larger posts. Then there’s always Farce Au Pain to work on. Most posts take a few days to write and edit. Posts as long as this can take days, and I allot 5 days for Unpacking the Writer, but this one only took 3.

Not all Fox “News” memes are funny. Some are quite tragic,
‘specially ones noting the intelligence of Fox “News” viewers.

FOX “NEWS” WATCH DU JOUR: Something else unanticipated — more like a nightmare than a dream — was just how many Fox “News” Headlines Du Jour pop up in any given week. [You can take Aunty Em out of the NewsHounds, but you can’t take the NewsHounds out of Aunty Em.] There’s so much tomfoolery and shenanigans on the Fox “News” Channel that sometimes it takes up more than half of the Headlines Du Jour.

A suggestion has been made to spin off the Fox “News” Headlines Du Jour into a stand-alone series, with guaranteed laughs a’plenty. While the Not Now Silly Newsroom is seriously considering this new way of pointing our Fox “News” mendacity, even tho’ it would mean more work for this underpaid scribe, a thought I had while typing this sentence may be a better alternate route. Details to follow.

Meanwhile, you’re now reading a paragraph that really contains nothing more than a blatant plug for The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society, a cozy little blind pig I operate in an apartment above The Facebookery’s storefront. The dregs and denizens who gather there on a daily basis, because they’ve got nothing better to do, are all dedicated to the mockery of the Fox “News” Meat Puppets, as they continue to plumb the depth of journalistic malpractice.

COCONUT GROVE UPDATE: Sincere apologies to those who come here because of my Coconut Grove posts. There’s nothing to update. I’ve not been down to The Grove for several weeks. To be fair: I never created Now Now Silly to be Grove-centric. That was just a happy accident.

I have been kicking around an article that’s been percolating since I visited Detroit (‘Merka’s first throwaway city) on the 2nd Annual Sunrise to Canton Road Trip for Research and took pictures of the Birwood Wall. Naturally, the article is about walls. It’s about the 8 Mile Wall. It’s about the Coconut Grove Wall. It’s about the walls around Gated Communities. And, the overarching theme (or maybe over-reaching theme), is how these can all be attributed to Racism.

Long story short: Often what’s on each side of these walls is as different as Black and White. Walls do far more to divide us than they do to protect us.

However, in the next post about walls I’ve wanted to include some video. The
last time I was in The Grove I shot several videos, but none of them
came out the way I had hoped. [I now realize it was a stupid idea to try a
long traveling shot at that speed.] I’ve now created a little storyboard and all I need to do is find the time to get back down to Coconut Grove
to shoot the mini-documentary that’ll accompany this important story.

Stay tuned for part three of Where the Sidewalks Ends, Racism Begins.

Total readership, with my high water mark
of December 2103. I need to up my game.

FURTHER HOUSEKEEPING: I’m not so sure what analytics I will have over at the renovated Now Now Silly Newsroom, so this might be the last time to look at these stats as Blogger feeds them to me.

This post is the 639th since I launched the Not Now Silly Newsroom in April of 2012. Nearly a quarter million people (241,455, to be exact, as of right this second) have hung out for some period of time at Not Now Silly. Forty-two percent of my readers use Firefox, with Internet Explorer (26%) and Chrome (15%) rounding out the top three. Sixty-six percent use a Windows OS, with Macintosh number 2 at 21%. About 5% arrive here on various mobile devices, but my web designer says that’s going to pick up considerable. From his mouth to The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s ears.

Also behind the scenes: There are 21 drafts of articles I’ve yet to publish. Some will probably never be finished, while others will be published in the fullness of time. They either require further research or I haven’t found the right way to tell the story yet. [See above.]

The stats I always find interesting is how readers arrived at these shores. While I can see the various sites people have come from, far more interesting to me is what search terms landed people here in the first place. In descending order they are [all sic]:

Brian Jones, Josephine Baker, 3 Stooges, Detroit, Beatles Let It Be, Alan Turing, James Rosen, Bonzo Dog Band, Three Stooges, Fats Waller, Austin Cunningham wiki, Detroit 60’s, leggy newsbabes, Roger Ruskin Spear,  the color line in coconut grove, 9/11 news articles, anyone from Detroit’s black bottom, examples of newspaper headlines, Josephine Baker children, skin in the game pun, stoping cyber bullying, brian jones beatles, controversies of sarnoff, fox news spin cycle, fox news spin cycle female host, headly westerfield, in the 50’s the chicken roost in hamilton, on served chicken on a bun what is the receipe?

Who knew there were so many Chicken Roost lovers?

The most fascinating stat is what countries my readers live in. It’s no surprise that ‘Merka and Canada come in at #1 and #2 respectively. However, I’m surprised I have so many readers in Russia, Malaysia, Ukraine, and China. However, I’ll take my readers where I can find them, even in Commie Countries. Futhermore, I’m not planning to outsource Not Now Silly production to China like some other Bain Capitalists.

The Top Ten is always changing slightly. You can see the current Top Ten in the column to the upper-right. However, the Top Ten at THIS MOMENT IN TIME looks like this:

1). The Detroit Riots ► Unpacking My Detroit ► Part Five
2). Brian Jones ► A Musical Appreciation
3). The Johnny Dollar Wars ► Chapter and Verse
4). Day In History ► Josephine Baker Born
5). Aries Development Continues To Rape Charles Avenue
6). Chow Mein and Bolling 5 ► Bully Boy Lies (Again)
7). Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen, Or Did Rosen Dupe ‘Merka?
8). The First Three Stooges ► Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be
9). Is Marc D. Sarnoff Corrupt Or The Most Corrupt Miami Politician
10). Does Fox “News” Support Johnny Dollar? ► The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Proof of concept of new logo. The final
will probably look nothing like this.

Hopefully by the time I publish Unpacking the Writer for the month of October, the BRAND NEW & IMPROVED Not Now Silly Newsroom will be up and running, fortified with Niacin and your daily adult requirement of news, history, and snark. It’s a slow process. However, I’m in no hurry to get it on the net. I would rather it be right than fast.

Ever onward and upward, dear readers.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, September 18, 2014

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Hello there, Headliners.Today’s birthday belongs to the Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, one man who often got the best of Jack Benny. He lived through may Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s look at today’s Headlines Du Jour:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

IN LGBT NEWS:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

GOP STANDS FOR GOT OUR PRIORITIES:

GET THE FRACK OUT OF HERE!!!

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

TODAY IN RELIGION:

FREE THE WEED!!!

VIDEO BONUS DU JOUR:

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKS:

BEST HEADLINES DU JOUR:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

HARRIS FAULKNER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

STUART VARNEY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, September 16, 2014

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Howdy, Headliners. Today’s birthday belongs to Riley B. King, better known as Blues guitarist B.B. King. He’s seen more than a few Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

TODAY IN RELIGION:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

Science says the universe could be
a hologram, a computer program, a
black hole or a bubble—and there
are ways to check

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Fox “News” Loses A Big One In Court

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The Fox “News” slogan that thinking people laugh at

It’s no secret to fans of the Not Now Silly Newsroom that our Head Writer, Headly Westerfield, has — to put it crudely — a hard-on for the Fox “News” Channel (and its crazy Fox “News” defenders) ever since he wrote for NewsHounds under the nom de plume Aunty Em Ericann.

That’s why bad news for Fox “News” is generally good news for the Not Now Silly Newsroom. Consequently, we were delighted to read about a recent decision by a New York federal judge upholding a FAIR USE argument on behalf of TVEyes, a service that archives, transcribes, indexes, and resells every minute of every day of every news channel. Subscribers pay $500 a month for access to this treasure trove of history in the making.

Fox “News” sued, saying that a service such as this: 1). Infringed on its copyright; 2). Would affect the channel’s ratings, because the service would also allow people to watch a live channel stream; 3). Would harm the licensing and syndication arm of Fox. According to Wendy Davis at MediaPost:

U.S. District Court Judge Alvin Hellerstein in Manhattan said in a ruling issued this week that TVEyes’ indexing and clipping service was “transformative,” and therefore a fair use, because it serves a different function from the original broadcasts.

“Without TVEyes, there is no other way to sift through more than 27,000 hours of programming broadcast on television daily, most of which is not available online or anywhere else, to track and discover information,” Hellerstein wrote of the service, which counts the White House, Bloomberg, Goldman Sachs and branches of the U.S. military among its 2,200 paying subscribers.

“The White House uses TVEyes to evaluate news stories and give feedback to the press corps,” Hellerstein wrote. “The United States Army uses TVEyes to track media coverage of military operations in remote locations, to ensure national security and the safety of American troops.”

A far more accurate slogan for Fox “News”

Little wonder Fox “News” sued. Fox “News” would prefer people don’t have an express lane when exposing the patented Fox “News” Bullshit™ to the antiseptic light of day. While there is a great deal of Fox “News” mendacity exposed on the net, rarely is it the worst of the worst. Obsessive Fox “News” watcher Headly Westerfield codified it as The First Ten Rule at NewsHounds:

Over the years a pattern has developed on Fox “News,” and more specifically Fox and Friends, that’s worth examining in detail. News Hounds has often noted that F&F is the morning agit-prop table-setter for the entire Fox “News” day. However, within that pattern lies another pattern worth deep exploration. The First Ten™ minutes of Fox and Friends is the most important part of the channel’s entire day. A number of stories are covered on The First Ten, but the underlying thread is usually that they all make President Obama or the government look bad. Under the guise of bubbly happy talk, this heavily scripted segment—with just enough tomfoolery to make it sound ad libbed—is NEVER posted on Fox’s web site. That’s a shame because The First Ten™ is where Fox “News” launch a lot of its trial balloons. Some manage to float airily throughout the Fox schedule, trailing Right Wing memes. Others sink without a trace after one airing.

While that description is still accurate for those Foxy Friends on Fox & Friends, it also applies to the Foxy Friends on Fox & Friends First and those other Foxy Friends anchoring Fox & Friends Weekend.

But wait! That’s not all!!!

Increasingly during the broadcast day the patented Fox “News” Happy Talk Jab At Obama™ happens more and more than it ever did before. It happens most often when there are two anchors sharing the screen, but not exclusively. Sometimes it’s right at the end of one of the so-called pundit panels. It also happens as one anchors throws to another. At times it’s during the (possible) ad libs at the end of a story with the reporter who covered it in the field. There are other times it feels like extemporizing during the bumper going to commercial.

You never know what crazy person Fox “News” will put on
the air and what crazy crap might tumble out of their mouths.

However, no matter in what part of the day the comments fall, it’s a safe bet they’ll be excised when the segments are eventually posted on Fox News (dot) com and FoxNation. These smears, attacks and (quite often) outright lies already debunked are delivered as an aside, a
conversational transition, a segue from one thing to another. But, they are some of the more insidious statements made on the Fox “News” Channel.

Too bad the Not Now Silly Newsroom cannot afford a subscription to TVEyes. As it stands the Not Now Silly Newsroom supercomputer is kept busy collecting Headlines Du Jour and researching Race Relations in Coconut Grove, for the most part. There is simply not enough left-over computing power to record Fox “News” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, despite the installed tuner. The computer chokes on files that big.

However, with a subscription to TVEyes I could order up a specific 20 seconds of video in which, f’rinstance [and totally made up as an example, because this would never happen in real life, donchaknow?], Tucker Fucker Carlson whines about how society as we know it is about to come to an end because the Nanny State has blah, blah, blah . . .

Sorry. Got carried away.

However, if TVEyes wanted to donate a subscription to the Not Now Silly Newsroom, Head Writer Headly Westerfield would certainly welcome it.