Category Archives: Headline Roundup

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, November 25, 2013

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Good morning, sleepyheads. While you were sleeping the Not Now Silly interns traveled the width and breadth of the interwebs in order to bring back today’s Headlines Du Jour. So, pour yourself a cup’o’joe and read what’s new in your world.

TODAY’S TOP HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Conrad Murray: I Held Michael Jackson’s Penis Every Night

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:


Texas cop arrested for handcuffing and
raping 19-year-old at traffic stop

Police Called, Man arrested, cuffed after
using Legal 2.00 Dollar bills at Best Buy

POLITICS? AGAIN?

GOP Stoops Even Lower: Senator Accuses
Obama of Using Iran Deal to Distract from ACA

10 Questions Every Liberal Should Ask Every Republican


MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

See Why More Than 2.6 Million Viewers
Watched This Dance-Off At The Palace

► I remember passing this place. Pops had a store just up Livernois at Outer Drive ◄
Detroit dry cleaners retains link to JFK tragedy
Detroit business previously owned by the brother of Oswald’s killer bears scars of time, crime

FOX NEWS IN THE NEWS:

Megyn Kelly’s ‘Pledge Of Allegiance’ Controversy Fizzles!

CRACK CORNER:

Rob Ford: The inside story of the police investigation
Probing the mayor has been a delicate task for Toronto police. The Star gets a
peek at how they’ve handled the changing phases of an extraordinary probe.

SNL skit show makes light of Rob Ford

The multifarious ballads of Rob Ford

Part of Sarah Palin’s “Reload” campaign, released before Gabby Giffords was shot.

CRACKED CORNER:

Palin: Filibuster reform a conspiracy to stop talk of big government at Thanksgiving dinner

Palin: God ‘blessed’ with me a platform on Fox News to defend myself

Sarah Palin Doubles Down On Comparing Federal Debt To Human Slavery

CRACKPOT CORNER:

The Audacity of Dope:
Ted Cruz Claims Democrats Poisoned The Atmosphere of the Senate

RELIGION CORNER:

Imagine the right’s religion

SCIENCE CORNER:

Unprecedented neutrino discovery is a “Nobel Prize in the making”

VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly.,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, November 23, 2013

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Good morning, sleepyheads. While you were getting your 40 winks, the Not Now Silly interns were out collecting today’s Headlines Du Jour. So, pour yourself a cup of java, sit down, and check out what you’ve been missing.

NOSTALGIA AIN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE:

The actual Maltese Falcon is for sale, so why not treat yourself?


LIARS CORNER:

Gov Scott Walker, Time Lord: Says he left college
for the birth of his son, 4 years before he was born


FREE THE WEED:

Denver Now Has More Marijuana Dispensaries Than It Does Starbucks

‘No explanation’ for federal raid on Denver-area pot dealers

► A song for anything and anything for a song ◄

CRACK CORNER:

Rob Ford police investigation: ‘Domestic assault’ call at Ford home sidetracked police sting
Mayor followed the August incident at his home with a three-day hotel stay near ‘crack central’ and a barbecue with the prime
minister.

WATCH: Late night hosts make more cracks about Rob Ford

RELIGION CORNER:

Evolution debate again engulfs Texas board

► JUMPING JOSAPHAT ◄

This week the steeple of St. Josaphat Catholic Church, at I-75 and East Canfield, was damaged by heavy winds and will have to
come down. Harry Arnold sends his drone-cam out to record iconic Detroit locations and gave us a bird’s eye view of the damage
to this beautiful structure.


CRAZY CORNER:

Glenn Beck Goes Off The Deep End and
Claims JFK Would Be a Tea Party Radical

The Day I Shook Hands With Glenn Beck

BULLY CORNER:

► Scratch a bully, find a bigger bully ◄
Iowa Parents Defend Kids’ Bullying Of Autistic
Student, Saying He Brought It On Himself

Does Fox “News” Support Johnny Dollar?
The latest news on what my cyber-bullies are up to.
With those psychopaths, it’s always something.


TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Florida Woman, Enraged When Duck Won’t
Eat Her Candy, Runs It Over With Car

VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly.,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, November 17, 2013

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Sunday is not a day of rest for the army of Not Now Silly interns. They are not allowed rest. Just like every other day of the week, they are provisioned and sent out to comb the vast reaches of cyberspace, with instructions not to return unless they bring back Headlines Du Jour. Here’s today’s haul.

TODAY IN GOD:

► A little too little, a little too late ◄
Charles Darwin to receive apology from
the Church of England for rejecting evolution
The
Church of England is to apologise to Charles Darwin
for its initial
rejection of his theories, nearly 150 years
after he published his most
famous work.

TODAY IN LGBT NEWS:

► Let’s not forget two things: 1). The Daily Caller is Tucker Carlson’s sewer; 2). When pronouncing his first name, the “F” is not silent, as in “Fucker.” Adding an adjective, like “stupid” is optional. ◄

Daily Caller: “Foolish” And “Stupid” Are
Totally Acceptable Definitions For “Gay”

TODAY’S FAUX REICH WING OUTRAGE:

Oprah: Old Racists ‘Just Have To Die’ To Further Racial Progress

BOOK CORNER:

‘Elizabeth And Hazel’: The Legacy Of Little Rock

Not as illustrated

TODAY IN WTF? NEWS:

Foster child found handcuffed to
porch with dead chicken around neck

I DIG ARCHEOLOGY:

Once An Ancient Village, Soon
An Entertainment Complex?

The Forgotten Giant Arrows
that Guide you Across America

CRACK CORNER:

SNL Lampoons Mayor Rob Ford and
60 Minutes During Cold Open

 

CRACKED CORNER:

Ted Cruz is Attending David Barton’s Conference for State Legislators

Bill Maher: Sarah Palin would prefer the Pope who quit while in office

HILARITY ENSUES:

Chase’s Twitter Gambit Devolves into All-Time PR Fiasco


VIDEO DU JOUR:

► In 1974 Arthur C. Clarke predicts what Not Now Silly does on the innertubes 40 years later ◄

Headlines Du Jour
is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, November 16, 2013

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The Not Now Silly interns don’t take weekends off. They’ve spent the night wriggling through all of the innertubes collecting nothing but the finest Headlines Du Jour for your reading pleasure.

BEST STORY OF THE YEAR:

NEWS FROM THE FAR-FLUNG STATES:

DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS TEACHERS:

DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS WOMEN:

GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS

RICH SON OF A GUN:

THE LATEST IN HEALTHCARE LIES:

IN LGBT NEWS:

238 Trans People Murdered Worldwide In The Past Year
The Transgender Murder Monitoring Project reveals the greatest number of killings
took place in countries with some of the most progressive LGBTI rights laws.

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:


Passenger ‘fell out’ of small plane near Miami
Rescue teams scour area south-east of Miami after pilot
radios that passenger fell out of aircraft flying at 2,000ft

THE NEIGHBOUR FROM HELL:

IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:


Rob Ford’s true victims may be those closest to him: DiManno
The mayor has warned media to leave his family alone, but it was he who dragged them into this mess.

Rob Ford’s intoxication affected his job: former staff
Ford was drunk at city hall between 15 and 20 times in a year, a former aide told police; he also missed events, asked staff to buy him booze, and was violent in his office.

Defanging Mayor Rob Ford could cause legal headache
Councillors and legal experts say cutting the mayor’s budget could be sticky, depending on how provincial law regarding the mayor’s “statutory duties” is interpreted.

Report: Police Were Concerned Rob Ford’s
Wife Was Domestic Abuse Victim

Rob Ford’s litany of apologies — and non-apologies
Mayor has spent past two weeks saying he’s sorry,
though sometimes it’s not clear what he’s sorry for.

CRACKED CORNER:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour
is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly., home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, November 15, 2013

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During the night, when the rest of the world is sleeping peacefully, the Not Now Silly interns spread out over the vast reaches of cyberspace and told not to return unless they bring back the latest Headlines Du Jour. Only then will they be fed and allowed to rest.

STILL COVERING UP FOR BUSH’S WAR:

Exclusive: US blocks publication of
Chilcot’s report on how Britain
went to war with Iraq

WHAT THE FRACK???

Mayor Calvin Tillman Leaves Dish, Texas
Fearing ‘Fracking’ Effects On Family’s Health

WHAT THE FROCK???

Prosecutor warns of a mafia threat against Pope Francis

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Exclusive: Grosse Pointe cops film, humiliate black people

FROM OUTER SPACE:

Potentially Dazzling Comet ISON Now Visible to Naked Eye After Outburst

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

Rebekah Brooks Was Hacked by Her Own Tabloid

THE LATEST ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A CRIME:

 

Boston Boondoggle Hearing Postponed Until
Next Week as Internet Criticism Grows

Blogger threatened with 10-year prison sentence
for posting public official’s phone number

CRACK CORNER:

Robot Butt Developed By Dr. Benjamin Lok:
The Cutting Edge Of ‘Rear-search’?

Joseph Small Puts Fire Hose In Butt, Causes General Mayhem

CRACKED CORNER:

 

They Came to Adore Her: A Night in Bethlehem with Sarah Palin’s Fans

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:


TODAY’S TOTALLY ACCURATE QUOTE FROM TORONTO MAYOR ROB FORD:

“Oh, and the last thing was (former staff member) Olivia Gondek. It says that I wanted to eat her pussy. I’ve never said that in my life to her; I would never do that. I’m happily married, I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thanks very much.”

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford apologises for oral-sex remarks

Rob Ford says he is receiving help from health professionals
but Ontario premier suggests province will step in

 

 Rob Ford’s ‘strength of character’ is just the pathology talking: DiManno
The public may be reeling from new and worse revelations inflicted by the man
himself, but the mayor will adamantly not collect his bobblehead dolls and leave.

 

RELIGION CORNER:

 

Study: Jesus’ Crucifixion Was Legal
A legal scholar says Christ got a fair trial and crucifixion was not unusual for the time

VIDEO DU JOUR:

‘Doctor Who’ 50th: John Hurt’s character name confirmed

Headlines Du Jour
is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, November 14, 2013

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While the rest of the world sleeps, an army of Not Now Silly interns reconnoiters the vast reaches of cyberspace looking for those Headlines Du Jour that you’ve been looking for and didn’t even know it. Then, when you wake up, it’s waiting for you right where you expect to find it.

Typhoon Haiyan: in village after village
the plea is the same – please help us!
In northern Cebu, where the typhoon made two devastating
landfalls last Friday, families line the road begging for supplies

Typhoon Haiyan: Before and after
Aerial images taken over the Philippines reveal the scale of devastation
Typhoon Haiyan has caused in the once-vibrant coastal city of Tacloban.

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE NEWS:

US fears climate talks will focus on compensation for extreme weather
Officials fear the devastating impact of Typhoon Haiyan
will overshadow core issue of climate change prevention

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:


What I learned from partying with Fox News
Everyone loves Megyn Kelly, the Fox News “look” is real, and Bill O’Reilly loves a photo op

Sarah Palin Is Back To Doing What She Does Best —
Scaring White People And Selling Books

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

FIFTY YEARS AGO:

PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A CRIME:

TODAY IN WTF? NEWS:

CRACK CORNER:





Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar

Rob Ford did drugs, partied with escort, police document alleges
Mayor Rob Ford did drugs and partied with an escort during an all-night
binge last year beginning in his office, a new police document alleges.

Rob Ford admits to buying drugs; councillors ask him to take a leave
Mayor Rob Ford admitted during a testy and unprecedented city council
debate Wednesday that he has bought illegal drugs in the last two years.

► He knows when you’ve been good or bad ◄
Santa Claus Parade asks Rob Ford not to march
Parade co-chair has sent a letter to the mayor’s staff, asking to avoid the distraction
of having Rob Ford march “and put the focus back on Santa and Mrs. Claus.”

CRACKED CORNER:

Beck: Pledge Of Allegiance And Star Spangled
Banner Are The ‘Trappings’ Of Progressives

The five funniest lessons from Sarah Palin’s Christmas book
Palin predicts a President Romney and shares her recipe for Rice Krispies Treats

Marijuana laws in Washington, D.C., poised to be relaxed
City council set to decriminalize small amounts of pot, but Congress could interfere

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Cannabis History 101 – a great video about the history of cannabis

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, November 13, 2013

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The Not Now Silly interns have been busy while you slept. Ignoring their exhaustion, they’ve combed through the vast space called cyber for just the right mix of News and News You Can Use. 

However, before moving on, stop and find out how you can help those suffering in the Phillipines after the typhoon:

THE LATEST IN LGBT NEWS:

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

WE’RE #1!!! WE’RE #1!!! WE’RE #1!!!

The Council on Tall Buildings says the tower’s spire is an integral part of
the structure and should be counted, making the official height 1,776 feet.

IN CLIMATE CHANGE NEWS:

Communities must take action to minimize
impacts of climate change, officials say

A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS:

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC:

PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A CRIME:

CRACK CORNER:

► EDITORIAL ◄

CRACKED CORNER: 

SCIENCE CORNER:

Solar flares abound as peak of magnetic cycle approaches
NASA has released the much-awaited panorama of Saturn and its neighborhood. In
the photograph, Earth, some 900 million miles away, is just a small blue dot.

VIDEO DU JOUR:


 

Headlines Du Jour
is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.


Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, November 12, 2013

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It’s hard to imagine death and destruction on a scale the size of Typhoon Haiyan. Everything has been flattened as far as the eye can see. 

Current estimates have the death toll above 10,000, with thousands still missing, yet as of this writing the official death toll stands at only 1,744. More than 600,000 people have been left homeless. This is a tragedy of monumental proportions. You can help by clicking on this link:

IN POLITICAL NEWS:

 

TODAY IN RIGHT WING CRAZY:

AMAZON PLAYS POST OFFICE:

TODAY’S BULLY NEWS:

GOING TO POT:


Veteran Emerald Triangle pot growers see their way of life ending
Pioneering marijuana cultivators in the hills of Mendocino and Humboldt
counties are being pushed to the margins by the legalization they long espoused.


WHEN FAMILIES FIGHT:


Malcolm X’s Heirs Move To Block Publication Of Activist Leader’s Diary
Heirs Say Third World Press Does Not Have Publishing Rights

FROM THE TMI DEPARTMENT:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

MAYORS’ CORNER:


Rob Ford’s fatal flaw? He has no shame
Shame is the starting point for all genuine soul-searching and change.
Without it, Rob Ford will never fix his many personal foibles.

Ho-ho or no-no? Confusion reigns over
Rob Ford’s participation in Santa Claus parade
Toronto’s scandal-plagued mayor has marched
in the popular parade for the past three years.

FROM THE WAYBACK MACHINE – STRINGBEAN’S MURDER:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour
is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day.
Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, November 11, 2013

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In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Today is Armistice Day in Belgium, France, New Zealand, and Serbia; Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth; Independence Day in Angola (1975) and Poland (1918); and Veterans Day in the United States.

And, now the news:

IN HEALTH CARE NEWS: 

Behind the scenes as the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin and
Fox News fought to defeat progressive health care reform

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY???

HEY! HEY! LBJ!!!

When the president sat for Norman Rockwell, the
encounter resulted in a quintessentially American image

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:

NEWS FROM PLANET EARTH:

The new scorpion measures between 2-2.5 centimeters.

MAYOR’S CORNER:

Harping on Rob Ford’s drug of choice appeals to readers’
prurience, and ignores crack’s race and class associations

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

TODAY IN DISCRIMINATION NEWS:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, November 10, 2013

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The biggest news in the world is the biggest typhoon ever recorded. Haiyan ripped a path of destruction across the Philippines and is now headed for Vietnam. 

WET FOOT/DRY FOOT:

STRIKE!!! STRIKE!!! STRIKE!!

TODAY IN TECH NEWS:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS!!!

SPEAKING OF DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

SPEAKING OF BULLIES:

THIS HAS TO BE ILLEGAL, RIGHT?

IN OTHER CRIME NEWS:

Family of 14-year-old sentenced to death in 1944 seek new trial
African-American teenager George Stinney was executed for killing two white
girls in South Carolina. His family said he was coerced into a confession.

CHICKEN LITTLE WAS RIGHT:

From one collapsing star, two black holes form and fuse
An emitted gravitational-wave signal and its potential detection will inform
researchers about the formation process of the first supermassive black holes
and may settle some important questions on the history of our universe.

TORONTO MAYOR CORNER:

Rob Ford probe: Release of censored documents now in judge’s hands
Media and Crown lawyers presented arguments Friday for whether blacked-out
information in the 500-page investigation document should be revealed.

Rob Ford scandal: How Toronto city council could strip his power
Many tools in city council’s arsenal over the long term

Pro-Rob Ford billboard probed for misusing Toronto’s logo
Misspelling of the word ‘responsibility’ on billboard inspires ridicule from critics

VIDEO DU JOUR:

David Letterman – Rob Ford Look-A-Like Top Ten

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.