Category Archives: Headline Roundup

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, December 30, 2013

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As we count down the days to the New Year, Not Now Silly is grateful for headline collecting robot drones. My New Year’s resolution is to get more headline collecting robot drones. Meanwhile, here are today’s Headlines Du Jour.

OH! STOP!! MY!!! SIDES!!!!

Republicans Go Mad As Pope Francis and President
Obama Deliver The Same Economic Message

FREE THE WEED!!!

10 things to know about nation’s first
recreational marijuana shops in Colorado

NOT SUPER-VILLAINS:

Four robbery suspects arrested for
what LAPD deems ‘felony stupid’

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Toronto police officer strips naked “hundreds” of people
Const. Sasa Sljivo told court on Dec. 11 he has stripped “hundreds” of people
completely naked, which is against police policy as laid out by the Supreme Court.

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Florida prostitute mistakenly texts on-duty deputy for sex: sheriff
Schquita Alaysha Warren arranged a hookup at a Pensacola Motel 6, realizing
too late she’d sexted an Escambia County investigator instead of her client.

NSA IS A 4-LETTER WORD:

The NSA Has A Way To Intercept Computers Mid-Shipment And Install Spyware On Them

NASA IS A 4-LETTER WORD:

NASA’s twitchy bouncy roboball
may explore Titan one day

TECH IS A 4-LETTER WORD:

The Biggest Tech Flops of 2013

DRONE IS A 4-LETTER WORD:

I worked on the US drone program. The
public should know what really goes on
Few of the politicians who so brazenly proclaim the benefits
of drones have a real clue how it actually works (and doesn’t)

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Coconut Grove’s 32nd Annual King Mango Strut

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, December 28, 2013

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When Not Now Silly fired all the headline collecting interns and replaced them with robot drones, I thought life would get simpler. That has not proven the case. While they don’t agitate for days off, I think the drones have become sentient. Don’t look them directly in the eye and you should be fine.

I’M SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

‘Suspicious’ KKK flyers found in Chicago suburb: ‘The Klan is awake!’

Ann Coulter Trolls With Racist Article As
President Obama Wishes a Happy Kwanzaa


LGBT NEWS:

Catholic School Asked Gay Administrator to Dissolve His Marriage

Colorado State Football Coach Suspended For Using Gay Slur


GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

A&E Reverses Decision to ‘Suspend’ Phil Robertson


THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Neal Boortz: GOP Won’t Take Senate in
2014, and It’s Social Conservatives’ Fault

Rove’s Republican rivals step up


WAIT!!! WHAT???

Israel Newspaper Issues Hilarious Correction to Article Claiming Bugs Bunny is Jewish


TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Tanning Salons Now Outnumber McDonald’s in Florida


VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, December 26, 2013

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With baby Jesus’ birthday over, the world holds its collective breath until New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. Meanwhile, the new Not Now Silly headline robots are working out perfectly. No more work stoppages; no more complaints. So, get ready for today’s Headlines Du Jour. 

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Man charged with stealing handcuffs he
was wearing in escape from police cruiser

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Father Shoots And Kills 14-Year-Old Daughter, Saying He Mistook Her For Burglar

QUACKER CORNER:

Duck Dynasty empire estimated to be worth $500 million U.S.

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Officers’ sobriety stop yields more than beer
A routine traffic stop took a bizarre turn when the driver told law enforcement
officers, “I don’t want to freak you out, but I have someone in the trunk.”

FREE THE WEED!!!

Brown pardons mostly
target drug offenders

SCIENCE CORNER:

New artificial muscle
promises super strength

FROM OUTER SPACE:

NASA celebrates anniversary of the
most important photo ever taken

WAIT!!! WHAT???

Illinois man uses ‘Star Trek’ technology to defraud investors of $25 million

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON:

Girlfriend transports man shot in stolen Christmas
present dispute to hospital in stolen truck

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 24, 2013

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When the Not Now Silly interns began agitating for Christmas off, I decided to grant their request. I fired the whole lot of them. However, I ain’t going out into the innertubes and getting my hands dirty. That’s why I have purchased the very latest technology in headline collection, specially designed drone robots. Today’s Headlines Du Jour are the very first to be picked by the new bots. Not only do they work cheap, but they won’t demand time off.

IN LGBT NEWS:

Judge Smacks Down Utah’s Request for Stay
as Hundreds of Gay Couples Get Married

Federal judge’s ruling rejects
Ohio gay marriage ban

OH, FER DUCK’S SAKE!!!

Mike Huckabee Defends Phil Robertson With a
Paranoid Rant Against Militant Homosexuals

SOILGATE:

City Of Miami Closes Two More Parks For Potential Contamination

◄ From Not Now Silly ►
A Century of Coconut Grove Racism ► Soilgate Is Trolleygate Writ Large

THE RACE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE:

Democrats Need To Rally Around the Issue of Income Inequality in America

THE COLOUR LINE IS THE POVERTY LINE IS THE POWER LINE:

Miami’s Staggering Inequality Explained in One Map

THE EARTH IS COMPLICATED:

Reservoir found under Greenland’s snow. What it means for shrinking glaciers.
The water in the huge reservoir remains liquid year-round, and researchers say it could help them estimate how Greenland’s rapidly melting ice sheet will respond to global warming.

RELIGION CORNER:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Tea Party Darling Rand Paul Insists He’s Sincere About Helping Detroit

UP AGAINST THE WALMART!!!

Walmart Gets Busted Forcing Employees to
Make Political Contributions to Republicans

DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!!!

eBay removes anti-Zimmerman artwork the
same day Zimmerman’s painting sells for $100k

I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Whips, cloaks and parchment: the
festive presents of ancient Rome

VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, December 23, 2013

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No sooner does Not Now Silly fire one set of interns over labour unrest, than this new cabal shows its true colours. Inexplicably, despite the letters of recommendation which is sole the reward of all unpaid interns, they’re now demanding the holidays off. They’re starting with Christmas, but before they’re done they’ll be wanting to take Bahá’u’lláh’s Birthday off. It has to stop somewhere. I am now interviewing interns. Apply within.

FREE THE WEED!!!

The Media Should Stop Pretending Marijuana’s
Risks Are a Mystery — The Science Is Clear

FREE THE VEGETABLE!!!

In Florida, A Turf War Blooms Over
Front-Yard Vegetable Gardening

MUSICAL DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Derrick May: ‘I stick around in Detroit because it’s my home No 1’

Music is missing link in Detroit recovery

A triumphant Aretha Franklin rocks MotorCity Sound Board

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

In Toronto, aid to flow even without emergency declaration

Rob Ford is Canada’s Newsmaker of the Year
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is distant No. 2

CRACKER CORNER:

Lt Gov: Duck Dynasty
important to La. tourism

Mike Huckabee Drags Obama Into Duck Dynasty Controversy

Juan Williams: Right Wanted Bashir, Maher
Fired, But ‘Cry Foul’ Over Duck Dynasty Star?

ALASKAN CRACKER CORNER:

Good Grief and Great Tits
Dan Savage: Sitting Down to Read Sarah
Palin’s Christmas Book While I Bake
Christmas Cookies for My Family

IN FLORI-DUH NEWS:

A Blue Florida? State Supreme Court Slaps Down Rick Scott’s Gerrymandering

GET OUT YOUR HANDKERCHIEFS:

Emotional moment guitar legend Carlos Santana is reunited with his old drummer after discovering he had been living as a BEGGAR on the streets for 40 years

I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Pastor Joel Osteen Smacks Down Fox News ‘War On Christmas’ Victimology

IN THE COURTS:

Apartheid-Era Doctor Who Made
Germs To Kill Africans Found
Guilty Of Unprofessional Conduct

Brooklyn Convict Gets $560,000 In Damages For False Arrest

VIDEO DU JOUR:

 

[NB: NSFW OR WHILE DRINKING COFFEE]

New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 22, 2013

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Following yesterday’s insurrection by the Not Now Silly interns, let’s just say you’ll never see or hear from them again. A brand new team of interns were hired, trained, and sent out overnight to collect today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming

LGBT NEWS:

LGBT activist reported missing

In Striking Down Utah’s Gay Marriage
Ban, Judge Gives Scalia Big Bear Hug

When Having Condoms Gets You Arrested

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Wall Street Journal Op-Ed Bemoans The
End Of White Rule In The United States

Barry Diller’s PR Exec Fired After AIDS Tweet Outrage

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Pennsylvania Supreme Court Says It’s Unconstitutional For Gas Companies
to Frack Wherever They Want

THE ROB FORD DEFENSE DIDN’T WORK FOR HIM:

General in Charge of U.S. Nukes Fired for Drunken Escapades in Russia

STING NOWHERE TO BE FOUND:

Message in a bottle found 54 years later in Canadian Arctic

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Colorado school shooting plot by two
teenage students thwarted: cops

RELIGION CORNER:

Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It’s Not Conservative Enough

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ ◄ ◄ I gotcher Rasta Christmas right here!!! ► ► ►

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, December 21, 2013

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There’s been some trouble in News Land. Lately the Not Now Silly interns have been agitating for a livable salary. At the very least they want the minimum wage. But, why should I start paying them anything now? After I sent back into the innertubes to collect today’s Headlines Du Jour, I changed all the locks and moved offices. That’ll teach them. In the meantime there are now several openings for interns at Not Now Silly. Apply within. And now the news:

LGBT NEWS:

Federal judge strikes down Utah’s same-sex marriage ban

IN THE ECOLOGY:

 

Significant Victory for Ecuadorians in Oil Pollution Case Against Chevron

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!!!

7 Reasons Why Jesus Would Hate Christmas

O’Reilly Becomes Unhinged Debating Mikey Weinstein In
The War On Christmas: “I Covered Four Wars With A Pen!”

Bill O’Reilly Repeats His Christmas Lie

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON PLANNED PARENTHOOD RIGHT HERE!!!

O’Reilly Cooks Up A ‘War On Babies’ To Launch A War On Planned Parenthood

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

The Detroit Adventures of A French
Cyber-Pop Artist Named Anne Horel

DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!!!

George Zimmerman Joins Twitter, Shares
Thoughts on the ‘Pseudo Media,’ Phil Robertson

George Zimmerman vents on Twitter after
freelancer shoots video of him picking up guns

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

Lawrence O’Donnell Condemns Phil Robertson…
But Not for His Comments About Homosexuality

NO JOKES ALLOWED!!! NEWS IS A SERIOUS BIDNEZZ:

Man Arrested After News Anchor Takes Joke Tweet Seriously

AND IN BEATLES NEWS:

Crater on planet Mercury newly named for a Beatle

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, December 20, 2013

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With the year coming to an end, Not Now Silly will NOT be participating in any of those Best/Worst lists that plague most web sites at this time of year. No, the news team will continue to do what it does best: Collect headlines from all over the world and drop them here for your reading enjoyment.

IN LGBT NEWS:

New Mexico Becomes 17th State to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

CRACK CORNER:

A Positive Step: Obama Commutes
Sentences for 8 Crack Cocaine Offenders

◄ ◄ ◄ AND, IT’S ALWAYS THE RIGHT SIZE AND COLOUR ► ► ►
Rob Ford, obviously: ‘Women love money. Give
‘em a couple thousand bucks and they are happy’

Bad Santa
The Ford family Christmas party was an insight into how the clan carries on and manages to live day-to-day with the darkness suppressed or ignored

QUACK CORNER:

◄ ◄ ◄ STICK A FORK IN IT, THIS GOOSE IS COOKED ► ► ►
Robertson Family Issues Statement
on Duck Dynasty’s Future on A&E

◄ ◄ ◄ EARLIER  ► ► ►
Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal’s “Duck Dynasty” screeds twist the Constitution • Conservatives rally around suspended ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson • Sarah Palin, NOM, And Westboro Baptist: Right Wing Furious Over Duck Dynasty Dad’s Suspension • Geraldo on Duck Dynasty Phil’s Suspension: ‘Political Correctness Has Gotten Malignant’ • Bobby ‘Stop being the stupid party’ Jindal defends Duck Dynasty star because Miley Cyrus • Newt Gingrich compares ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson to Pope Francis • Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty and Why His Suspension Isn’t an Attack on Free Speech

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

School Named For Ku Klux Klan Leader
Nathan Bedford Forrest To Be Rebranded

Maryland KKK will meet in government
building to plot Obama’s impeachment

RUPERT MURDOCH’S PAPERS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Kate Middleton, Prince Harry Hacked By Murdoch Paper, Trial Confirms

The Sun Apologizes For Calling
Woman On Maternity Leave ‘Lazy’

RUPERT MURDOCH’S EMPLOYEES IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Warns That Rich People
Are ‘In Danger,’ Asks That You Pray

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Federal Court Finds GOP Governor Violated Civil Rights Of Protesters

IN CANADIAN CONSTITUTIONAL COURTS:

Explainer: Top court to rule on the future of prostitution in Canada

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Texas Gun Club grand opening goes wrong when employee shoots own hand

Deer Trail now scheduled to hold drone hunting vote in April

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!

Fox News Airs ‘Happy Holidays’ Message As
Bill O’Reilly Declares Victory In War On Christmas

Florida Capitol approves Pastafarian Flying
Spaghetti Monster among holiday displays
 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, December 9, 2013

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As the world sleeps Not Now Silly sends out its News Team to collect nothing but the finest in headlines for your reading pleasure. That’s how you can pour yourself a cup of coffee and start your day with today’s Headlines Du Jour.

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Texas campus cop empties gun on unarmed student: ‘Oh, you’re gonna shoot me?’

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Founding Fathers’ Words Reveal 2nd
Amendment Was… To Preserve Slavery?

AT&T rejects ‘transparency report’ shareholder
demand; FBI can secretly turn your laptop camera on

WHAT’S THIS YOUNGER GENERATION COMING TO?

Student expelled after threatening to kill, cook classmate

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Facebook Considers Adding
a ‘Sympathize’ Button
For when you’ve seen something … but can’t ‘like’ it.

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

Westboro Baptists ‘booking flights’ for Johannesburg to protest Mandela’s funeral

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

What Ruin Porn Means to a City Rebuilding Itself

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

You think Ford is bad?
Get a grip. He’s hardly the only
mayor to have disgraced his office

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

Rock ‘n’ roll rip-off:
Failed rockstar, big spender

TODAY IN FOX “NEWS”

Surprising Friendship Between Norwegian Dog And Wild Fox

OH! CANADA!!!

Potentially damaging Jackpine oilsands
mine expansion OK’d by Ottawa
Environment minister says negative environmental
effect is ‘justified in the circumstances’

Harper, tell the truth
Stephen Harper may be about to become the Richard Nixon of Canada.

John Ivison: As PM prepares for Israel trip, speculation
abounds: Will he resign after he returns?

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, November 30, 2013

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The Not Now Silly news team never sleeps!!! While you were geting your 40 winks, they were creeping and crawling through the internets, filling their buckets with only the best in Headlines Du Jour for your Saturday.

JUST BECAUSE THE MSM HAS FORGOTTEN:

Orphans in Philippines Speak
of Typhoon’s Horrors

BLACK FRIDAY IS THE NEW BLACK FRIDAY:


110+ People Arrested As Nationwide
Protest Against Walmart Grows Stronger

Walmart on Black Friday: Scenes from the apocalypse

Senators blast Wal-Mart “trampling” workers’ rights
as dozens of activists are arrested on Black Friday
“It is time that Walmart pays its workers a fair wage and
stops trampling on their rights,” say Sherrod Brown et al

WHERE DO THOSE CHEAP GOODS COME FROM?

I Tried to See Where My T-Shirt Was Made,
and the Factory Sent Thugs After Me

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

The Supreme Court Could Rule that Hobby
Lobby is More of a Person than You Are

THERE IS STILL SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE:

Adolescent AIDS rates up alarmingly, UN finds
But mother-to-child transmission of HIV has been dramatically reduced, UNICEF reports

CRACK CORNER:

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford could be denied entry to U.S.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford says he wants to attend the NHL Winter Classic hockey game near Detroit. He may not get past Windsor.

CRACKED CORNER:

Birther preacher claims Obama had mother of his ‘love child’ killed outside White House

CRACKER CORNER:

North Dakota white supremacist hospitalized after hunger strike

CANADIAN CORNER:

Harper’s hockey book includes thanks to Nigel Wright for ethics help

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

A Bullet
On November 4, 2008, Barack Obama, America’s first African-American Presidential nominee, won the Presidency of the United States of America. This week, two weeks following that historic event, marks the fifth anniversary of when a racist put a bullet through the front window of my home.

FROM THE WAYBACK MACHINE:

Jerry Lewis’s Immortal Lip-Sync to a Trombone
Lewis’s clever pantomime from The Errand Boy has lived on in
Family Guy spoofs and fan-made YouTube reenactments 52 years later.

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.