Tag Archives: The Three Stooges

Unpacking The Writer ► Unpacking The Readers

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If you’re relatively new to Not Now Silly, and/or my Unpacking The Writer series, let me hip you to one salient fact right now, so you don’t feel foolish from here on out: 

Long-time visitors are already clicking on every advert they can find on this page and the next. “Why?” you might ask. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Where my readers are from and the browsers they use? Wait! China?

Ready? Because this is the series in which I ask — either subtly or blatantly (and this month I’m going with blatant) — for you to help me pay for some of the costs of this blog by clicking on an advert, or 10. Believe me when I say the pennies I get from your clicks don’t quite cover the storage costs for all the images I use. So, if you’re reading, this you should be clicking that. It’s only fair.

Meanwhile, as I was prepping this blog post I took a glance at the latest Not Now Silly statistics. The Blogger platform doesn’t give me a whole lot of info about my readers, which is why I go over the little I do get like a Vodou bokor divining over freshly-killed chicken entrails. One stat that I find eminently fascinating is what search terms caused visitors to take the off ramp to my rest stop on the information highway. I check it regularly looking for surprises. Here’s today’s chart of search terms:

Because this screen grab was taken early in the day, that’s the only search term that brought a reader to my doorstep so far. The search terms are always truncated to around 40 characters, so there are times I’m forced to infer what these people were looking for. While I’ve written about Bob Marley, I doubt this inquisitive person was looking for anything that I could supply. The same can be said for Researcher #6 on the weekly list [below] who got here twice — or there are two guys (gals?) out there searching for exactly the same stuff:

While I believe in giving my readers what they want, I simply can’t fulfill every request

Googalizer results for “free video sex gay
negro black blog.” Who knew there were
that many people looking for Black gay porn?

I’m baffled that that string of words would bring someone here, as opposed to other web sites, far more on topic, on much busier thoroughfares on the information highway. These people must be really drilling down deep into the search results because when I plugged “free video sex gay negro black blog” into the Googalizer, Not Now Silly didn’t pop up until Page 9. You’d think they would have been satiated at the end of page one, doncha? And, just imagine their disappointment when they arrive here. [It occurs to me that using the search term in this paragraph is sure to bring more puzzled visitors, which are my favourite kind. And, I’ve probably just ensured that Not Now Silly ranks higher than Page 9 from here on in on THAT search term.] 

People who are searching Not Now Silly for something very specific are represented in the chart’s #1 position above. The truncated string ‘“coconut grove playhouse” (site:blogspo”‘ indicates that someone was searching this particular site for a very specific specific term, 5 different times. I sure hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer.

Drilling down into the monthly results brings a few surprises:

The monthly stats is where [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff appears. That means someone has found there way here using that search term in the last month, but not within the last week. I hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer. That used to be a much more frequent search term, but I guess Sarnoff’s office got tired of checking. TO BE FAIR: I’ve not really written much about him lately. I wonder whether this mention will warrant a visit.

Meanwhile, the same Coconut Grove Playhouse search from the weekly chart is also on the monthly, which means it’s more than a week old, but less than a month. At the #1 position on that chart is my post on Josephine Baker, of which I am far more proud than all those times I poked the [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff with a stick.

However, the chart I always find the most interesting is the All Time results, tabulated since I launched Not Now Silly on April 19, 2012:

What I find most amazing about this last chart is that 258 people arrived at Not Now Silly by searching for one variation or another of Three Stooges. Who knew they were so popular? What I like about this list is that it’s fairly eclectic list of topics because Not Now Silly is a fairly eclectic blog.

Just a few more agenda items before I sign off on this exciting episode of Unpacking The Writer:

I totally underestimated how long it would take to kick Chapter Two of my book, Farce Au Pain,
into shape for publication. I am narrowing in on it and really hope to
publish it for you on March 1st. You may wish to reacquaint yourself by
heading on over to the front door of Farce Au Pain. If you haven’t read it yet, boy are you in for a treat.

There’s
been a slight bit of news on Trolleygate, which I hope to write about
within the next week. I’ve been reading some legal documents and I need
to interview a few people to make sure I’ve interpreted them correctly. I
also want to see if I can get official comment from: 1). The City of
Miami; 2). The City of Coral Gables; 3). Miami-Dade County; 4). Astor
Development; 5). Anyone else who will take my calls. This could be a
busy week on the phone.

I continue to research the E.W.F. Stirrup House. While I have discovered some interesting information, I’m still closing in on the real history I’ve been seeking. In the meantime, in an effort to get more people interested in saving the E.W.F. Stirrup House from Demolition by Neglect, I’ve fired up a facebookery called, appropriately enough, Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House. If you’re a facebooker, please join the group. It’s jam-packed with info about the Stirrup House, Coconut Grove, and other instances of Demolition by Neglect.

I read all your correspondence.

A big hat tip to JN & DO for your suggestions concerning Headlines Du Jour. You’ll note I incorporated both your ideas, but just not both at the same time, if that makes sense. Oh, and AG: Your idea would have taken the focus away from the Headlines Du Jour, so . . . Never mind. However, there may be another way to use that idea at Not Now Silly, so stay tuned.

I had hoped that this month I would be announcing my contributions to a local franchise of a respected country-wide web operation. However, I’m awaiting a response to my first contribution ordered up by the editor.

Back in the day, when I used to write regularly for magazines, the final draft was sent to my editor by First Class Mail. If I didn’t hear back for several weeks, it was understandable. However, in this cyber-universe in which we now live, I can shoot a 1,000,000 word article to the other side of the world faster than I can type that old saw about the swift brown fox. It’s just possible I’m being impatient. Either that or I’m just nostalgic for the old days when editors were collaborators in shaping the final product. I need to curb my enthusiasm, in case things don’t work out.

I have learned that they squeal the loudest when you make fun
of Loofah Lad, but The Falafel King would know all about that.

Additionally, lastly — and most gratefully — things have been relatively quiet on the cyber-bully front lately. The Flying Monkey Squad has not been as obsessively stalkerish this past month as usual. However, that doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about me totally. They’ve only mentioned me enough to remind me to schedule some more timed tweets about them, not enough to warrant writing another full post about them. I’ll let all my previous posts about those psychotic miscreants stand for the time being. For the day to day hilarity, you could check The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society over at facebook.

A clue for the clueless: If you ever did forget about me, I promise to stop writing about you. I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. And, I know whose reputation is being hurt by this continued feud and it’s not mine. Your move, Chicolinis.

Dear readers: If you’ve read this far without clicking on an advert by now, you’re a poopyhead.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Is Normal ► Today’s Ablow Job

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Welcome to another fun-filled episode of Ablow Job. Not since Loofah Lad dumped Body Language Expert Tonya Reiman has there been such an idiotic segment on the Fox “News” Channel as “Normal or Nuts.”

That’s the official name of the weekly Wednesday Laugh-0-Thon that is really Ablow Job. Here’s how it normally [no pun intended] works: Those Foxy Friends on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out pop psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow and ask him to weigh in viewers’ emails to determine whether the average Fox “News” viewer is — err — normal or nuts. No, really. That’s it.

This week they dispensed with emails for a special all-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford edition of Normal or Nuts. The Foxy Friends asked Ablow to diagnose the crack smoking, drunk driving, criminal-hiring Mayor-In-Denial of the city I consider home, based on a few video clips. While everyone in the civilized world has recognized Mayor Rob Ford as a (gravy) train wreck, Ablow seems to think that Ford is simply misunderstood. Not even The Three Stooges were nuts enough to pick up what Dr. Keith was laying down. Watch:

While he called Ford a narcissist, Ablow also thinks Ford is “refreshing” because:
He’s direct, he’s clear, he says, “I know who my enemies are. I’m engaged and this is a battle to the end.” And, yannow what? If I were someone opposed to him, I’d say, “Wait! The game is on.”
No, Ablow really said that.
When Ford knocked over a a collegue last week while barreling over to the public peanut gallery, Abow seemed to think there was nothing abnormal about that behaviour since:
Number One: This woman kinda swoons. She doesn’t quite hit the deck. She kinda falls in a slow motion fashion, she gets up, and tries to comfort him. She may have a job as a therrapist in the future. I think he was doing a Chris Christie imitation, where Christie confronts people directly who are heckling him. He does it much more elegantly, but this guy’s channeling American [sic] politics.
Never mind that the only reason the woman didn’t fall over completely was because Ford caught her after he knocked her down. Even Steve Doocy, not always the smartest of Stooges, knew Ablow was full of shit when he responded, “I’m worried about you, Keith.”

Yet, Ablow says nothing about the bullying that Ford was engaged in at that exact moment in time when he was rushing over to the public peanut gallery to defend his brother, who was already heckling the citizens of Toronto. Had he not been such a bully in a china shop, he wouldn’t have given that woman a fat lip.
 The last video example has Rob Ford blaming his woes on “tax and spend socialists” on Toronto City Council. Dr. Forehead doesn’t think Ford is being paranoid at all:
“I’m not having this guy in my office ’cause he doesn’t need to come. He’s looking more and more NORMAL all the time. He probably is right about his detractors. Here’s a guy who stands up, and says, “Look, I’m not going to be a two-faced guy . . .”
Meanwhile, Doocy is yelling, “Hold it!!! Hold it!!! What about the crack smoking?!?!?!”
“Well, at least he admits it,” is this psychiatrist’s reply, proving he’s never dealt with people in denial about their substance abuse problems and alcoholism. At that the entire Curvy Couch erupted in laughter. Even they’re smart enough to finally realize Dr. Keith is a fraud.

AN AUNTY EM VIDEO BONUS:


A song for everything and everything for a song!

NEW FEATURE: Today’s Ablow Job ► “Dogs Love Fox”

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Dr. Keith Ablow and the forehead that will not stop

IRONY ALERT: Let’s get it out of the way right out of the gate. Take a gander at that forehead. It goes all the way back to his ass. The irony? Dr. Keith Ablow was born in Marblehead, Massachusetts. You can’t make this shit up.

Incidentally, Marblehead is almost as White as Coral Gables, 97.6% White vs. 98% White, respectively. Maybe that’s where Ablow gets his overwhelming sense of privilege.

But I digress. As usual.

The weekly Fox and Friends “Normal or Nuts” segment, featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, is easily the stupidest Fox “News” idea since “body language expert” Tonya Reiman was a regular on the Loofah Lad Laugh-In hour. The Falafel King would have her view selective footage of someone that he wanted to trash and Reiman would usually comply. But at least she had something to examine: cherry-picked footage.

Not that Dr. Keith has ever needed anything to examine in order for him to psychoanalyze people he has never met. His several instant analyses of President Obama are infamous, as are these headlines culled from NewsHounds, where I used to toil as Aunty Em:

Fox’s Crackpot Dr. Ablow Likens Obama To A Wife Beater • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: Benghazi Was Part Of Some ‘Black Ops’ Psychological Warfare Against Americans • Fox’s Ablow Blames Australian Teen Murder In OK On Abortion • Fox Psychiatrist Ablow Cites Unabomber To Attack Liberals As ‘Psychologically Disordered’ • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: ObamaCare Will Lead To Riots • The Answer Is Ablow In The Wind • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Suggests Biden May Suffer From Dementia • Fox’s Dr. Ablow Reveals President Obama’s Abandonment Issues Behind His Gun Control Urges • Fox Psychologist Ablow: Gingrich’s Cheating Suggests He’ll Be A Strong President • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Trashes Chaz Bono – Fox News Scrubs Article

Hoo boy!!! Even Ablow’s WikiWhackyWoo was forced to add a a section under the rubric Controversial comments in the media. My favourite part:

During the 2012 Republican primary, Ablow wrote a column arguing that Newt Gingrich’s three marriages actually made him more qualified to be president. He wrote: “When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.”[19] The column was criticized, with Rod Dreher of The American Conservative commenting thusly: “Oh for frack’s sake. At some point, you have to wonder when shamelessness crosses the line from character defect to psychopathology. If only Dr. Leo Spaceman were a Republican, he could have a lucrative career on Fox.”[20]

Dr. Ablow later clarified that his position was that one’s private sexual life should remain private and that dissecting the sex lives of public figures was counterproductive and salacious.

Counterproductive and salacious. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It might be well for Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, to remember that. But, I digress. As usual.

Once a week, as the putative Fox “News” quack headshrinker, the Three Stooges on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out Dr. Keith for “Normal or Nuts.” Dr. Keith is read about 20 words of an email — not much longer than a tweet — and Dr. Keith pretends to make a snap diagnosis on whether they are “Normal or Nuts.” Hilarity ensues.

Having worked a decade on a morning tee vee infotainment news show as a news writer, field producer, booker, and segment producer, I can assure you that it’s not really a snap judgement. He’s given the emails in advance. Regardless how much time he has to think about it, it’s a scant amount of information with which to diagnose someone and call them a “lunatic” like he did this week.

Check out this week’s Ablow Job:

The best line in this segment came at the very end, and not by Dr. Ablow at all. Steve Doocy sums up the perfect Demographic just before the fade out. It has to be heard to be appreciated.

If Fox “News” is so proud of it’s resident headshrinker why doesn’t the Fox “News” website’s list of  On Air Personalities include Ablow? The “A”s start at Alicia Acuna, and run through Carol Alt, Dr. Manny Alvarez, Jim Angle, Lauren Ashburn, with David Asman bringing up the rear. See what I did there?

No matter. Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of Ablow Job, brought to you by the only tee vee hosts whose average IQ score is a negative number.

The First Three Stooges ► Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

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Above: Larry, Moe and Curly, not necessarily in that order.

Dateline May 5, 1934 – The Three Stooges release their first short “Woman Haters” and nothing was ever the same again.

The Three Stooges made more than 190 two-reelers over a 26 year period, but they started in the knockabout world of Vaudeville. Ted Healy was already a hit in Vaudeville when, in 1922, he took on new actors for his stageshow. Among them was Moe Howard, a childhood friend that had appeared, briefly, in the earlier act Ted Healy and his Southern Gentlemen.

Moe’s job was to act as an average audience member who is called onstage. Hilarity ensues. The showbiz term for this stock character was “stooge.” Soon Shemp, who was Moe’s real life brother, and Larry Fine joined the act. They appeared with Healy in one short, “Soup To Nuts.” but after a dispute over the movie contract, Larry, Moe and Shemp went solo, or as solo as a trio can go. They also took with them some of the material they had performed with Healy.

Intellectual property rights being intellectual property rights, Healey sued. However, he lost. As it turned out the material was owned by the show’s producer, the Shubert Theatre Corporation, which gave the Stooges the right to perform it.

The Three Stooges then had a brief rapprochement with Healy and were to appear together in a new Shubert production. However, when Healy got a better offer, he quit the show, taking Two Stooges with him; Shemp, who had threatened to quit previously, finally decided to pack it in. In need of a third Stooge, Moe suggested his younger brother. Jerry Howard joined the act as Curly.

Healy and the Stooges signed a contract with MGM in 1933 and made a number of shorts. When that contract expired a year later The Three Stooges split from Healy for good. Soon afterwards they signed with Columbia and released “Woman Haters,” the first official Three Stooges short

Growing up I watched a lot of Three Stooges in my time, but I don’t recall ever seeing this one. It’s all done in rhyme and song, all 20 minutes of it. There’s no way they could carry that over 2 2-reelers, let alone 190. Enjoy:

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Happy Birthday, Moe Howard ► Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

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Dateline June 19, 1897 – Moe Howard, future leader of The Three Stooges, was born Moses Harry Horwitz on this date. He would be joined later in life with older brother Samuel (Shemp) and younger brother Jerome (Curly) at different times in one of the longest-running comedy teams in show bidnezz.

Moe Howard began in vaudeville with “Ted Healy and his Stooges,” along with brother Shemp. Soon Healy hired violinist Larry Fine and the Three Stooges were born, more or less, even tho’ they weren’t called that yet. Shemp made one ‘Stooge’ movie with Healy and quit the Stooges to start a solo career. Moe suggested younger brother Jerome/Curly and, after they managed to get rid of Healy, this was the trio that starting making all those Columbia shorts over the years, starting in 1934, and eventually running to 190 with a few cast changes.

In 1946 Curly had a stroke and was replaced by Shemp, who returned to the act where he started. According to the WikiWackyWoo the three Howard brothers made one movie together: 1949’s Hold That Lion. However, further strokes led to Curly’s death in 1952, the year of my birth. Yet, he was very much alive for my childhood.

Shemp died in 1955, yet appeared in four more Three Stooges movies after that, since there was enough footage in the can, but was eventually replaced by Joe Besser. Columbia sold off the Stooge film library to tee vee through the company Screen Gems and that’s when and where subsequent generations learned how to poke people’s eyes out and hit each other over the head with hammers.

Their tee vee poularity led to Moe forming a new Three Stooge ensemble, replacing Joe Besser with Joe DeRita, or Curly-Joe. This trio made several feature length movies and a few guest appearances until they were reduced to a cartoon with filmed live segments bookending the whole dealie.

When he died Moe Howard left behind an unfinished autobiography that was tentatively entitled I Stooge To Conquer, which I would have loved to have been able to read. For many years I belonged to The Official Three Stooges Fan Club [and recently came across all the newsletters in my file cabinet] and read a great deal about their history. The Three Stooges occupy a very narrow niche in Show Biz: Vaudevillians who transitioned to movies who transitioned to tee vee. There were many comedians, none of them slapstick comics for obvious reasons, who transitioned to radio before taking on tee vee.

Yet, despite my love for all things Stooge, this was the worst idea for a remake ever:

The Three Stooges Movie

A dishonour. Watch a real Three Stooges classic. Moe Howard was imitating Adolph Hitler before Charlie Chaplin.

What’s really crazy is how much of this I knew by heart, only using Der Googlizer to make sure I had the dates right. I did. I’m such a dork.