Judge Andy in unretouched pic taken directly from my tee vee screen

As last week’s exciting episode of Judge Not came to a close, our erstwhile hero Judge Andy had already begun to observe Radio Silence, which started as soon as the magnitude of the massacre in Newtown became known. 

While it’s clearly against the Aunty Em Ericann blog employee rules, all the Judge Not unpaid interns took a long, liquid lunch at the same time (leaving the phones to ring off the hook) to argue and speculate how long it would be before The Laughing Libertarian was back to messaging. More importantly, they organized an office pool on how long it would be before Judge Nap broached the issue of guns again. As it turned out, that happened the very next day with his second message. [I’d tell you who won the pool, but I don’t think they plan to declare their winnings. Therefore, it’s best if it remains an office secret. Besides,] I fired all the interns and hired new ones. I’ll teach them to have a long, liquid lunch without me.

On a personal note: Last week’s Judge Not blog post was promoted twice during the week on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog. Thank you so much. It’s quite an honour and I’ll try not to disappoint our mutual, faithful readers.

Now, take it away Judge Andy:

There are no innocent ‘Merkins.

Guns! It was only a day after the Newtown Massacre that Judge Andy felt the need to defend guns, using another famous Libertarian to do so, rather than to make his position clear. Careful there, Judge Andy: Penn Jillette has also come out strongly against the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas AND the whole concept of God and religion. Are you really sure you want to embrace his views?

This is another selectively edited version of a person’s remarks, which my faithful readers recognize as the Reich Wing Breitbartian tactic it is. Follow along: A deceptive edit is an attempt to discredit everything else that was said. In this case it’s the single word “exploit” without any other context. The interview was actually quite reasonable (IMHO) about the issue of gun control versus the Second Amendment. However, Judge Nap doesn’t want his brain-dead followers to know that someone is being reasonable about gun control. Judge Andy just wants his brain-dead followers to KNOW President Obama is coming for their guns. Consequently, he’ll pass along a Washington Times (!) article with a Breitbartian headline taking a single word out of all context whatsoever. This is proof positive why Judge Nap cannot be trusted. He’s not a “fair and balanced” adjudicator. He has his thumbs on the scales to get his brain-dead followers to believe certain things which are not entirely true. And, he’s happy to do it.

Were you this vocal about The Patriot Act, Judge Nap, at the time? Or, were you one of those ‘Merkins who supported the war in Iraq, rendition, the Guantanamo Gulag, and the whole Security Industrial Complex? In all honesty (and I don’t know why you never reply to any of my questions), do you really think laws that would ban 30-round ammunition clips and certain types of ammunition are unconstitutional? Do you think making it as hard to get a gun as get a driver’s license would be unconstitutional? Do you see all gun control measures as unconstitutional? Take your time, Judge Nap. And the typo, Judge Nap? FORGIVEN, because I’m sure to make some in my lifetime.

What do YOU think, Judge Nap? I wish you would enlighten us on your feelings, as opposed to passing along what others say to maintain a modicum of plausible deniability.

This is the first of my two appearances on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog this week. It’s a seminal honour to appear on this blog because the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today site is set up (apparently) by a Judge Andy Libertarian Lap Dog™.

Days before Head NRA Gun Nut Wayne LaPierre said the only answer to gun violence was more guns, people like Judge Andy, among other Fox “News” personalities, were already promoting that solution. Not to be outdone NASA has announced its new defense against asteroids hitting the Earth. Everybody will be able to possess their own asteroids.

The Washington Times, also mentioned above, is an almost slavishly Reich Wing publication masquerading as a news source. Why does that sound familiuar? Anyway, the Washington Times reviewed Judge Andy’s new book. To no one’s surprise, it liked it. It liked it a lot!!!

Where do I sign up for my tin foil hat? I’ve read several articles about this and I have yet to find any credible sourcing. While I cannot say it’s NOT true, it all has the feeling of Black Helicopters and FEMA Concentration Camps.

Would you be at all surprised to find out the article didn’t actually say gun control was racist? It did, however, make the point that gun control has been used historically to take away the guns of minorities, while leaving those of the majority intact.

Judge Nap never fails to pass along TSA silliness. However, he has never answered my question of “What would you replace the TSA with?” The undeniable truth is this: If we had the TSA secure the nation’s schools we wouldn’t to place armed guards in every one.

I can’t tell whether Judge Andy thinks this was a good idea, or a bad one.

Remember the mind-set of the Founders: they only knew breach-loading rifles, which took time to reload. Had they known of 30-round clips in assault rifles, and seen the carnage they cause, the Founding Fathers might have been smart enough to have done something about regulating them. At any rate, Judge Nap, this is just another silly red herring. If you want to cling to your guns (and religion?) as a check against a potentially tyrannical central government, might I just remind you that the other side has tanks? And, that’s just for starters. If you get really obnoxious they can use tactical nuclear weapons to take your sorry ass out. Why do you think your littler pea-shooter, whatever the hell it is, will be any match for the government?

Here’s another one for you to answer, Judge: Who in a position of power has actually advocated confiscating guns? You’re just trying to stir up the emotions of your brain-dead followers.

But . . . but . . . but . . . I would have thought this would make you happy. Sure it’s a crazy idea, that is also unconstitutional to boot, but at least she’s half-way to your position of thinking we need guns in all schools. Now all you have to do is convince her to give guns to all the janitorial staff. Or, maybe, all school cafeteria workers. Or, even better, arm all school nurses who can not only kill intruders, but can also treat anyone injured by them.

Truth? That’s rich, Judge Nap? You serve to mislead. However, feel free to tell my faithful readers the truth, Judge Nap: Who in the White House (which you’ve pictured wearing a turban? What the hell is that?) wants to ban guns?

Because the only answer to guns is more guns and what might work in Texas is perfectly applicable to Detroit or New York or any other place in ‘Merka.

Izzat a good thing, or a bad thing, Judge Nap? Is Scientology a cult which needs investigating, or is it a government intrusion on freedom of religion?

It would be more accurate to say, “Your cellphone is capable of spying on you.” However, that wouldn’t play into Judge Nap’s desire to make you afraid of your government.

What does this have to do with guns? You’re slipping, Judge.

Yet, as long as it remains a Republic people can vote the leadership out. So, what’s your point again?

Once again, we’ll forgive the typo, Judge Nap. However, let me give you a little tip. If you are going to adopt as your cause a Marine who allegedly broke Mexican law, you could at THE VERY LEAST spell his first name right. Jon Hammar was being held according to Mexican law. If tee vee hosts in, f’rinstance, Great Britain started to agitate for the release of a ‘Merkin prisoner who had yet to stand trial on criminal charges, Fox “News” personalities would be the first to tell them to “Shut the fuck up.” Yet, Fox “News” took on Jon Hammar’s cause, despite the fact that its only source of information on what laws he may have broken and how he was being treated came from his mother, who kept calling it “a clerical error.”

See article below.

And, it’s this kind of thoughtless defense of the Second Amendment that makes Judge Andy a Libertarian hero.

Judge, I have to ask again: Who has proposed a gun ban? Who is trying to take away your guns?

And, this is how my weekend ended, with another promotion of my Judge Not series over at the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today blog. I just want them to know I will do everything in my power to stay true to the site’s confusing and wordy motto of “NEWS FOR THINKING HUMANS & AN ARMY OF 2000+ CITIZEN NEWS SPOTTERS TO BRING OUT THE REAL NEWS!”

If Judge Nap ever wants to answer any of my questions, he knows where to find me. If he doesn’t, he can just ask the government which, I’m sure, has a complete dossier on someone who used the nom de plume Aunty Em Ericann for 7 years.

Next year the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas will be fought with assault rifles.

Unretouched pic of Judge Andy, from my tee vee, showing his gigantic brain.

As the week began Judge “Andy” Napolitano, the Fox “News” Senior Judicial Analyst, must have still been stewing over Bob Costas’ gun comments from last week, just like the rest of the Fox “News” personalities. 

One of my life’s amusements, such as it is, is watching how quickly Fox “News” jumps to attacking the messenger, without noting the delicious irony that it too is a messenger, although thoroughly discredited messenger after the recent election. Jon Stewart noted other ironies about how Fox “News” doesn’t cover gun violence.

This week’s edition of Judge Not will continue after these Daily Show videos:

Take it away, Judge Nap:

When drunken football players are outlawed, only outlaws will be Right to Work Cowboys . . . or something.

You’re paid to give us your thoughts, Judge. What do YOU think of this, Judge Andy? BTW: What’s YOUR take on the Newtown Massacre?

I understand why you are promoting your book, Judge Nap, but why do you call it a book bomb? Is that merely wish fulfillment?

When unions are outlawed, only outlaws will join unions . . . or something.

When drunk driving is outlawed, only outlaws will . . . Wait!!! What??? It already is??? Never mind.

And yet, George Will is a corrupt knave, also known as a Conservative Hack.

One thing at a time, Judge Andy. After the “for profit” health industry is destroyed, the Socialists will dismantle the “for profit” education system. However, for now, Libertarians should be grateful that the prison systems are still being privatized.

Well, Duh!

Why do you like to pass along already debunked statistics, Judge Nap? By the time you get around to sharing with your brain-dead followers, most of what you push on them has already been proven false.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric, a regularly occurring Fox “News” meme.

Look out below!!! The book is bombing!!!

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

You’re going to turn this into a moral issue? Hoo boy!!!

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

Whose behavior is committed to destroying the Constitution, Judge Andy?

Whose behavior is committed to destroying the Constitution, Judge Andy? The House?

Wall Street has always been more important than Main Street, Judge. So what if HSBC only got a slap on the wrist?

LOOK OUT BELOW!!! BOOK BOMB!!! Send the Feds a message. LOOK OUT BELOW!!! BOOK BOMB!!!

Reason allowed Judge Andy to BOOK BOMB them with an interview about his book. LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

All of Fox “News” celebrated when Ambassador Susan Rice’s head was finally on the platter.

It came as highly amusing news that Judge Nap, who claims to be a Libertarian, is not JUST religious, and not JUST a Roman Catholic, but he actually admits that he preferred the Church prior to all the inclusive reforms known as Vatican II. That means Judge Andy identifies with the ’50s and early ’60s. He’d even rather have the Mass in Latin. Ipso facto: Judge Nap embraces his cognitive dissonance. It also explains his Constitution fetish. It’s why he won’t accept the Constitution as a living document. He is an “originalist” who believes the Constitution was divinely inspired by the pre-Vatican II God. A truly rational Libertarianism seems totally incompatible with religion. Which is probably why there are so many essays by so many people who are trying to justify being religious Libertarians. More cognitive dissonance.

This would be a good time to remind Judge Andy he works for a company that used the same tactics to spy on private citizens that he’s now decrying. That feels so hypocritical.

This slap on the wrist — which admittedly is a record fine, but still a drop in the bucket for HSBC — was merely a money grab? Who knew? Thanks for clearing that up, Judge Nap.

Dear Readers: Occasionally Judge Andy passes along a real story from a CREDIBLE source that is actually worth reading. This WIRED story concerns a court case in which ‘Merkin spy agencies might claim National Security to prevent state secrets from being blurted out in open court.

NB: These Judge Not columns are compiled in chronological order on Saturday morning. Between the screen capture above (from Thursday) and the two below (from Friday morning), Adam Lanza murdered 20 children and 6 adults in Newtown, Connecticut. The news slowly trickled out, as did Judge Andy’s last two updates of the week. Judge Nap may simply not have heard the tragic news yet.

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

Heya, Judge? This is something you should share with all the other Fox “News” personalities who seem to believe that TORTURE IS TERRIFIC. [I get the bumper sticker royalties.] Why just this past week your colleague Greg Gutfeld seemed to sum up the Fox “News” attitude when he blurted out, “Like I Always Say — Waterboarding? More Like Awesomeboarding.”

It’s worth noting that after those last 2 screen caps from early Friday morning, there was nothing else from Judge Nap after the magnitude of the horror in Newtown, Connecticut, became known.

Judge Andy went into Radio Silence.

It will be interesting to see what his first words next week will be and whether the 2nd Amendment will come up in next week’s exciting edition of Judge Not. Stay tuned.

Totally unretouched pic of Judge Nap taken directly from my tee vee set

Not even Bob Costas making an obvious statement about gun violence was enough to goose Judge “Andy” Nap’s output any higher this week. At 31 posts, Judge Nap’s bluster was only slightly higher than last week’s tally. It’s still within the margin of error, however.

TO BE FAIR: Judge Nap was not the only Fox personality to jump on Bob Costas’ gun remarks during the week; He was just the most hypocritical. Let’s get right to this exciting episode of Judge Not:

‘Like’ if you think Bob Costas is entitled to his opinion. When talking about guns is outlawed, only outlaws will talk about guns.

No basis? Should Costas have talked about garotting instead?

What if there were no more hypothetical questions? Then Judge Nap would be left with nothing but hypocritical questions.

I’m screwed. I have neither guns, nor gold. I guess I’ll be Zombie bait instead. Me and Bob Costas.

What if the right to keep and bear arms only applied to the veterans?

What if the right to keep and bear arms only applied to the TSA?

Judge Andy thinks it’s fair game to compare President Woodrow Wilson with Adolph Hitler. The Daily Caller thinks the ‘pull quote’ is fair game for the headline. Judge Nap then feels it’s fair game to pass along the Daily Caller’s interview with his brain-dead followers. That’s how the circle of life works.

I bet there are cops who want to do away with the 4th Amendment and Miranda Rights, too. Cops can say what they like, just like Bob Costas. Just because some cops want this, doesn’t mean it will happen. Just like Bob Costas. Get a grip, Judge.

Yes, Judge, the unemployment figures are terrible. Worse however, are the statistics on income inequality. A recent article in The Atlantic says income equality is worse now than in 1774. Forbes, which is clearly in the tank for the Democratic Party, has a recent article called “How Income Inequality Is Damaging the U.S.” HuffPo has two articles filled with charts that you should also read, Judge Nap. Just the other day it published “5 Ways Rising Income Inequality Kills The American Dream,” while in 2011 it published “15 Facts About U.S. Income Inequality That Everybody Should Know.” I’m sorry, Judge Andy, what were you saying about unemployment again?

However, here’s a chart you should also take a look at, Judge Nap:

I’m sorry, Judge Andy. What were you saying about unemployment again?

I’ll believe it when I see it, just like all those other Conspiracy Theories you pass along, all of which have yet to come to fruition.

That won’t fit on a bumper sticker: Judge Andy is the star with which to steer the Ship of State, which is listing badly. The problem is that Forbes is 100% serious. Pay no attention to that iceberg dead ahead.

Once again: Do I have to explain to you how this works? Police can propose, but they don’t pass the laws.

Where’s your outrage, Judge Andy? Did Arizona just hire a mercenary army to fight the War on Drugs to fill the mercenary’s for-profit jail? Isn’t that just a minor Conflict of Interest?

I thought the Republicans wanted to take the country back . . . back to the ’50s . . . the 1850s. See what I did there?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap? Telling ‘Merkins what they can and cannot do in their cars?  A man’s car is his castle. His castle on wheels.

Wall Street got bailed out, but not Main Street. Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Of course we can forgive Judge Nap for promoting his book . . . over and over again. One day I may even get around to reading it. How long does it take for a book like this to end up on the remaindered table?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

I though politicians were sent to Washington to get laws passed. Compromise is necessary to get that done, Judge Nap. Drawing lines in the sand is a good tactic for a schoolyard bully. Ask your buddy Bully Boy Bolling ’bout that. However, here’s what everyone needs to know: When a Fox “News” personality is giving advice to Republicans, and it happens far more often than you would think appropriate, it’s just more proof that Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be. Thanks for playing our home game, Judge Nap.

Those are the only two choices?

This is the 3rd time this week I caught Judge Andy scare-mongering this. It must be what keeps Judge Nap awake at nights, even though he knows better.

Judge Nap wrote an article in which he argued, essentially, that Republicans are for Big Government and Democrats are for Even Bigger Government. See what he did there? A pox on all their houses.

This story is nothing more than a run-of-the-mill divorce custody battle. Like many others of this kind, it has crossed international borders. Like some others it involves a ‘Merkin serviceman. However, Fox “News” is determined to turn this family matter into a national “news” story, and Judge Andy is happy to help.

Republicans only want a government big enough to handle a uterus.

One of the biggest Senate Teabaggers is leaving the Senate to become King of the Teabaggers. How will that work out? Why let’s ask Judge Andy. Heya, Judge. What does this mean for the GOP?

Wait!!! What??? Libertarians [which are really just Teabaggers with a fancier name and less overt racism] will rejoin the disgraced GOP, pushing it even further to the right? Pass the popcorn, Judge.

This is the last book promo I will allow this week, Judge Nap.

This is the last Jim DeMint promo I will allow this week, Judge Nap.

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

By the end of the week Bob Costas was just a memory for Judge Nap. He’s now been supplanted by Black Boxes, compiled text messages, and conspiracies of Big Government.

Here’s a quote for you, Judge Nap:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Blessed are the cheesemakers.