Tag Archives: Mike Nesmith

Chow Mein and Bolling 10 ► Ignorant And Proud Of It

Unretouched pic of Bully Boy Bolling
taken by me directly from my tee vee

It’s not JUST that Bully Boy Bolling is an ignorant Bully Boy. It’s that he’s so proud of being an ignorant Bully Boy. 

What’s more: his ignorance is not just limited to the Fox “News” arguefest The Five, still the worst show in tee vee since My Mother, The Car. Bully Boy Bolling proudly displays his ignorance on social media all across the innertubes. His pride in his own ignorance extends to sending out links to articles that prove he’s an ignorant Bully Boy; articles that demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that he lies boldfaced on tee vee. Then he lies again in his messages which also display his proud ignorance.

Bully Boy Bolling’s latest ignorance comes in the shape of a message he proudly sent out this morning, which follows the ignorance he proudly spouted on The Five last night:

Let’s parse that, shall we? Liberals are not “jumping up and down.” Many people, including Bob Beckel on last night’s The Five, are sharing a picture of a man at a Mendacious Mitt rally proudly wearing an ignorantly RACIST t-shirt that says “PUT THE WHITE BACK IN THE WHITE HOUSE.” Furthermore, Beckel’s outrage had nothing to do with the polls. People are simply appalled at a clearly racist t-shirt. Then, just to put the cap on it, he calls the writer at Mediaite, TC,
or Tommy Christopher, to the “left of Che Guevara” in order to
discredit him.

However, facts are facts, Bully Boy.
Tommy Christopher could be from Mars for all that it matters, but that wouldn’t change the fact
that he caught you in another lie for which you are proudly ignorant, which simply adds to the list of all your
previous proud ignorant lies.

Here’s the segment from The Five:

After Beckel referred to the racist t-shirt, as Christopher points out in his article

Bolling took that as his cue to add in his two cents. “Did you hear, over the weekend, the story about the kid on the West Coast who took the hammer to some Obama headquarters offices,” Bolling said, ”and it turns out he was a liberal, he’s a very progressive liberal, and the speculation is he was doing it to make Mitt Romney look bad?”

“I was making no connection to Romney,” Beckel protested.

“It’s like Munchausen Syndrome by political proxy,” giggled another Fiver.

What actually happened over the weekend, in Denver, Colorado, not the West Coast, was that a gunshot was fired into an Obama campaign field office while campaign volunteers and staff were inside. The shot shattered a plate glass window on the front of the building, but thankfully, no one was hurt. Police are reviewing surveillance footage, and have said they are looking for a “vehicle of interest.”

An incident similar to the one Bolling described did occur three years ago, and is a popular way for right-wingers to dismiss a pattern of violent opposition to the President.

So, Bully Boy Bolling is caught in a lie, which he was using to deflect his brain-dead audience of The Five, into ignoring the racist t-shirt. Then, when Christopher calls him on it in an article on Mediaite, Bully Boy actually tweets out the proof that he lied and disparages the writer by saying he’s to the “left of Che.”

Not content to leave it alone, and because he previously has proven he is a Bully Boy with a notorious thin-skinwho can dish it out, but cannot take it — Bolling comes back a few hours later with the following:

None of this explains Bully Boy Bolling’s lie, of course, nor does it explain why he won’t accept that someone wore a racist t-shirt. However, it does muddy the water sufficiently so his brain-dead followers will have no idea what’s going on. Which, naturally, is the whole point. Never tell the Fox “News” audience the truth. It would burst their bubble.

Chow Mein and Bolling 9 ► A Vice Presidential Debate Review

Put down Bully Boy Bolling as another bullshit artist from Fox “News” who didn’t much like Vice President Joe Biden’s debate performance. 

The so called “Fair and Balanced” network has spent plenty of time since the end of the debate alleging Biden was drunk, rude, disrespectful, an unhinged cranky old man, and even attacked him for things he didn’t say. However, leave it to Bully Boy Bolling to take it so far over-the-top that it barely resembled what the rest of the country saw. However, before Bully Boy weighed in, The Five played a greatest hits package of Fox “News” personalities criticizing the Vice President.


ANDREA TANTAROS: Eric? Rude, cranky, disrespectful. Really unprecedented behavior and, if you’re trying to swing voters in your camp when you’re down, probably not the the way to do it.

BULLY BOY BOLLING: Yannow, umm, unfortunately Joe Biden — Mr. Vee Pee — confirmed all our suspicions. He’s a real jackrabbit. He embarrassed himself, he embarrassed the office, he embarrassed the country. Her lied about taxes. He lied about contraception. He lied about his voting record on wars. And, most importantly, he lied about what went on in Libya. The scary fact is this guy is one heartbeat away — a condescending smug, morally and intellectually bankrupt man — is one heartbeat away from the presidency. Your question, Andrea, four more years or four more weeks?


It was only a few days ago that Fox “News” was trying to make the case that the Obama campaign calling Mendacious Mitt a liar when they called out his lying lie was “unseemly.” However, it seems Bully Boy Bolling has no trouble calling the Vice President a liar. 

The Five: Still the worst show on tee vee. Bully Boy Bolling: The worst person on the worst show on tee vee.

Chow Mein and Bolling ► A Musical Interlude

Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling taken off my tee vee screen

I get email. Several people have asked me me how I came up with such an odd name for a series that (quite rightly) skewers Bully Boy Bolling for being the supreme asshole that he is. While I explained in the first episode of Chow Mein and Bolling, I guess it would be hubris for me to expect my faithful readers to go back that far.

The truth of the matter is I stole the name from Mike Nesmith, my favourite Monkee, who named a terrifically funny song “Chow Mein and Bolling.”

Now I guess I need to apologize to Mike Nesmeth, Nez to his fans, because my popular series Chow Mein and Bolling has knocked Nesmith off the top of the Google listings. I’ll do that my treating my fans to another great Mike Nesmith song, which helps put Bully Boy Bolling’s tee vee bullshit into the proper perspective.

Does that answer your question?

Chow Mein and Bolling 8 ► Bully Boy Bolling: Hypocrite

Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling
taken directly from my tee vee screen

It’s become something of a truism that if you find Bully Boy Bolling taking a stand on something, you can probably find him taking the opposite position at some time in the past. He’s like Mendacious Mitt Romney that way.

Lately he has been railing against Big Bird. That’s just another way he’s like Mendacious Mitt. On The Five — which could be a serious show with serious discussions about serious issues, except that it’s on Fox “News,” so all bets are off — Bully Boy Bolling compared the big yellow bird from Sesame Street to Dora the Explorer, even though one is on a non-profit network and the other is not. However, Bolling doesn’t mind comparing apples with oranges. To him it’s just an example of the “takers” versus the “makers.” According to Media Matters:

BOLLING: This is the capitalism versus redistribution edition of what’s
actually going on here — Big Bird: taker. Dora the Explorer: maker.
They’re both worth about $350 million bucks, both of the brands, but the
Big Bird, the Sesame Street Workshop, takes in about $6 million a year
of taxpayer largesse. Dora the Explorer, all branding, all sales — and
therein lies the difference.


Yet, it wasn’t all that long ago that Bully Boy Bolling was decrying the same “makers” versus “takers” rhetoric as Class Warfare. It came during a discussion on The Five (What am I saying? There are no real discussions on The Five. It’s one argument followed by a Right Wing Talking Point followed by a argument, followed by a Right Wing Talking Point, only interrupted by Greg Gutfeld’s non sequitur snark and Bob Beckel saying something stupid) when Bully Boy was attacking Occupy Wall Street:

“This is class warfare: Anytime you highlight the takers, the makers, the haves, the have-nots, the 99 percent, the 1 percent, that’s what they’re playing. That’s the game they’re playing.”


Media Matters also points out: [I]n this instance, the argument doesn’t even hold up. While Sesame Workshop, the production company of Sesame Street, does indeed receive about $7 million in government contributions, that figure amounts to just 5 percent of its total revenue. Moreover, only 15 percent of PBS’ total budget comes from federal funds.

Even more hypocritically: Bully Boy Bolling’s preferred candidate in this election played the Class Warfare Card when he said, according to a secretly recorded video released by Mother Jones:

ROMNEY: There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.

I mean, the president starts off with 48, 49 — he starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. He’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that’s what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.

However, that only echos comments on Fox “News” in general and from Bully Boy Bolling in particular: Fox’s Bolling Hypes Flawed Heritage Study To Pit “The Takers” Against “The Makers”

If you look up “Hypocrisy” in the dictionary it says, “See: Eric Bolling.”

Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling taken directly from my tee vee screen.
You can almost see the hypocrisy coming out of his mouth.
Find more exciting episodes of Chow Mein and Bolling here.

Bully Boy Bolling Is A Coward ► Chow Mein and Bolling 7

Unretouched pic of Bully Boy Bolling
taken right off my tee vee screen

Like most bullies, Bully Boy Bolling has proven himself to be a supreme coward — and one with a thin skin to boot. The other day he tweeted at me how disinterested he was in my Chow Mein and Bolling series, but not so disinterested that he couldn’t NOT respond. See how that works?

So thrilled was I that Bully Boy Bully recognized little ol’ me, and my little ol’ blog, that I created an entire post around his tweet.

This morning Bully Boy Bolling sent out another tweet demonstrating his thin skin (which I’ll get to shortly) and that’s he’s also going to stick with his crazy, already debunked, wacky, conspiracy theory that last week’s Jobs Report was cooked. Naturally, I sought to capture his idiocy to embed it here. Low and behold, I was greeted with this message from Twitter:

You have been blocked from
following this account at
the request of the user.

Like most bullies, Bully Boy Bolling has proven he can dish it out, but he can’t take it. And that brings us to his latest nonsense.

Last night Jon Stewart and The Daily Show took on the Right Wing’s Phony Jobs Report Conspiracy Theory head on. Naturally Bully Boy Bolling was criticized for (once again) displaying his total hypocrisy. Watch:

Remember what I said above about Bully Boy Bolling having a thin skin? This morning he sent out the following:

Bully Boy Bolling can’t be so stupid as to think: 1). Sending out the link that demonstrates his idiocy beyond a shadow of a doubt is really a good idea; 2). That doubling down on a stupid conspiracy will suddenly make it less stupid; 3). Blocking me on Twitter is going to make any difference to me following, and making fun of, his bullshit.

As of this writing three of the Top Five posts on my blog for the week are from my Chow Mein and Bolling series. I’m clearly giving my readers what they want.

However, Bully Boy, thanks for playing our home game.

Bolling’s New Conspiracy Theory ► Chow Mein and Bolling 6

Bully Boy Bolling strikes again. During “The Five” on Thursday Bolling opened his mouth and inserted his foot, which is standard operating procedure for the Bully Boy. It came in the middle of a discussion where 4 of the 5 were doing several victory laps over President Obama’s poor performance at the first debate. Suddenly, and without warning, Bully Boy went all Bully Boy on Juan Williams with a brand new conspiracy theory:

JUAN WILLIAMS: Let me ask you guys a question. Do you believe that what happened last night, even — I’m gonna say, “I’m wrong and you’re right.” —

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Finally!

JUAN WILLIAMS: — So do you believe that was a game-changer and now the election is all different? I don’t believe anybody changed their vote — [crosstalk]

BULLY BOY: He lost — [crosstalk]


BULLY BOY: Oh he got smoked, Juan, but here’s the thing — here’s the thing: You know — you know this. You’ve done campaigns before. For opposition research. Right? You have all this stuff in your back pocket ready to release — Mitt Romney. They had the tape — the 47% tape — they released it at the specific time. You know Chicago — the campaign is sittin’ there with all this research. “When are we gonna send some of this stuff out?” There’s going to be some Chicago-style, thug, gangster politics coming —


BULLY BOY: They’re going to release something — [crosstalk]

WILLIAMS: You’re nervous? You mean, you’re nervous? I thought this was a celebration for the right.

BULLLY BOY: They have to fix this. They have to fix this.

DANA PERINO: I think, I think by Monday morning we’re going to see some attacks on Mormonism.

WILLIAMS: Oh my God, you think —

PERINO: Absolutely.

WILLIAMS: — they’re gonna get dirty with this guy?

PERINO: Somebody’s going to. It won’t be the Obama campaign —


Keep in mind this latest whacked out Bully Boy Conspiracy Theory™ came only two days after The Drudge Report, The Daily Caller, Sean Hannity and Fox “News” tried to use a 5-year old video of Obama to stir up racial enmity among their brain dead audiences.

Later in the evening Bully Boy Bolling sent out the following. However, it’s impossible to know whether it referred to this conspiracy theory, or not:

Emotion we can all understand, Bully Boy. However, it can never be in “the best intentions for America” to accuse the President of the United States to be part of “Chicago-style, thug, gangster politics” without some actual proof. You should be ashamed of yourself . . . again. But you’ve already proven you have no shame and will race-bait this president who lives in the White Hizzy.

Chow Mein and Bolling 5 ► Bully Boy Lies (Again)

It all began, as crap like this usually does, early Tuesday with The Drudge Report announcing via banners, and whistles, and fireworks, and ticker-tape parades, that there was a Big Scoop Coming!!! Then Sean “Scammity” Hannity announces he will have EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE never-before-seen video of President Obama on his evening show.

Within minutes the Blogosphere has sussed out that the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE video is a 5-year old speech by then-Senator Obama. Within minutes the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE video is splashed all over the innertubes, which seems appropriate because that’s where it had been hiding in plain sight for the past 60 months or so. That took the air out of Scammity’s EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE Big Scoop. Undaunted, he goes ahead Tuesday night because, after all, he’s been hyping it all damned day. It made for great comedy that the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE speech was covered extensively at the time it was given. However, Scammity, aided and abetted by Tucker Carlson of The Daily Caller, tried to use Obama’s speech at Hampton University to Play the Race Card™:

“Angry Black man condemns Whitey.” 

What was supposed to be EXPLOSIVE turned out to be merely a damp squib. However, that didn’t stop Bully Boy Bolling from trying to fan the flames to keep it alive, which were already going out. Soon after Scammity’s show he sent out this little missive:

TRANSLATION: Be scared of Angry Black Man. However, Bully Boy Bolling wasn’t quite done. Midday Wednesday Bully Boy Bolling pumped out the following double-post:

But, in typical Bully Boy fashion, Eric Bolling did disappoint. He disappointed by lying to his brain dead audience, which will never discover the truth:

According to Media Matters

But Bolling’s attack is way off base. Then-Senator Obama did vote to waive the Stafford Act for Katrina relief. In fact, he was one of the Senate’s major proponents for waiving the Stafford Act.

In 2007, two similar supplemental spending bills contained funding for Katrina relief that was not subject to Stafford Act restriction.  At the time Obama opposed one version of the bill because it did not contain a timeline for U.S. withdrawal from Iraq. In a May 24, 2007, statement explaining his vote against the U.S. Troop Readiness, Veterans’ Care, Katrina Recovery, and Iraq Accountability Appropriations Act, Obama said: “With my vote today, I am saying to the President that enough is enough. We must negotiate a better plan that funds our troops, signals to the Iraqis that it is time for them to act and that begins to bring our brave servicemen and women home safely and responsibly.”

While Obama voted against the 2007 supplemental spending bill Eric Bolling is referring to, he voted for the other version of the supplemental bill that included both a timetable for U.S. troop withdrawal from Iraq and a waiver for the Stafford Act that would provide relief to New Orleans.

And, these things end, as they always do, with Jon Stewart making fun of Fox “News.”

That ends this exciting episode of Chow Mein and Bolling. Tune in next time when we eviscerate the Bully Boy all over again.

NFL Refs Are More Union Thuggery ► Chow Mein and Bolling 4

I’ll bet Bully Boy Bolling was on his couch cursing out the Scab Refs on Monday night. I also bet Bolling was secretly lauding the return of the Union Refs last night. However, to hear Bullshit Bolling talk of it, all NFL Union Refs are just another example of Union Thuggery:

If there’s one thing Bully Boy Bolling knows all about, it’s thuggery. He’s the biggest thug on tee vee.



Chow Mein and Bolling 3 ► Tweet Du Jour

Bully Boy Bolling clearly has a mission: To save ‘Merka from the Socialist Hoards. That’s not Fair and Balanced, but then Fox “News” never was, never will be.

I can’t be everywhere. If you see Bully Boy Bolling do something funny, or egregious, or egregiously funny, please let me know.