All posts by Headly Westerfield

About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life.

My First First Lady

My coveted ticket

I managed to score a ticket to see First Lady Michelle Obama on Wednesday. I am on her mailing list and she wrote to me personally, along with thousands and thousands of others, that she was coming to town and would just love to see me.

She gave three locations where her minions, aka the President Obama Re-election Campaign workers, would be giving out FREE tickets to see her on a First Come, First Served, one ticket per person basis.

Since there were a finite amount of tickets and, I presumed, an infinite number of people who would want them, I decided I would get there early. So for the 1:00 PM call I was shooting to arrive at high noon and, thinking there was a possibility I would be standing in the 95 degree heat for a while, 3 frozen bottles of water, only one of which would fit in my pocket.

The Obama Re-election office was less than 5 miles away, so it took only about 15 minutes to get there. However, I go no where without my new, little Sansa music machine. It’s a terrific machine, smaller than a pack of matches. It has an internal 8 GB hard drive, and a slot for micro-memory card, in which I added another 16 GB of memory, giving me a grand total of 9,514 tunes of every genre you can name. I throw the thing on random shuffle and head out, windows open. Just as I pull up to the people lined up outside the the songs switches from a Reggae tune to, and I wish I were making this up, Louis Armstrong’s version of “Shine.”

There were about 50 people ahead of me when I arrived.

Luckily no one already standing in line was paying attention to the music emanating from my car. I joined the line and waited. And waited. And waited. I was disconcerted. Every 5 minutes someone new came by and asked us to fill out a form and to make sure we had our 2012 Voter Registration Card ready, or we’d not get tickets. Every 5 minutes I explained to somebody new that I don’t have a 2012 Voter Registration Card because I wasn’t allowed to vote. When a one of the volunteers asked if if it was because I was a felon, I changed my response to “I don’t have a 2012 Voter Registration Card because I’m not a citizen.” That didn’t make me many friends either, but at least I wasn’t mistaken for a felon.

Even though they were all telling us we needed a Voters Registration Card to get a ticket, when I explained they said “Don’t worry about it,” but I was. Mostly because they all kept saying we needed it to get the ticket, before they told me privately that I didn’t need it to get a ticket. That didn’t give me much assurance, especially because I heard many people arguing with the volunteers. Loud voices were yelling, “If we needed to bring out Voters Registration Card, it should have been in the email!!!” and “I don’t take my Voter Registration Card everywhere I go!!!” and “You people done fucked up!!!”

In the end no one asked anyone for a voter registration card once we were getting out ticket to see the First Lady, so all that anger and frustration in line seemed to be just for the fun and entertainment of the volunteers.

I arrived at noon and left at 1:45, most of that time standing in the oppressive heat. I had long finished the frozen water I carried and when I got back to the car the other two bottles were almost completely melted, but at least they were still cold.

Here are a few of the other pics I took while waiting.

Still life: Gecko with cockroach on a wall. In Florida they call these Palmetto bugs so they can pretend they’re not roaches.

I tried to get one of these signs for my window, but they didn’t have any more. There was also one that said
“African Americans for Obama” which I wanted, because I have racist neighbours, but they were out of those too.

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The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode Four

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Having been incredibly busy the last few days, I’ve not been able to monitor the Fox “News” SPIN Cycle as much as I would have liked. However, that doesn’t mean the Fox “News” SPIN has been any less furious and, even though I have only been half-paying attention, I still have a fuller plate of Fox “News” nonsense than I did in Episode One, or Episode Two, or Episode Three of this ongoing series. 

It falls down into several categories: It’s either designed to denigrate this administration; WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan distortion, lies, or flubs; promote the Romney-Ryan ticket as the best thing since McCain-Palin; denigrate people not like them; or just distract from the problems of the day.

So, let’s dip our toe back into Bizarro World and see where that takes us.

Jesse Watters is used as comic relief these days  on Fox “News,” but started out as the Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly
ambush interview guy, asking people when they stopped beating their wife, or some such nonsense, while they’re
on vacation, or in their driveway. However, now he’s comic releif and just not funny. The current MO: He goes out
with a camera and does “man on the street” interviews, which are then edited together to make people look stupid.
Here he plays Goodwill Ambassador with visiters to ‘Merka and, in the end, makes them look foolish by
their lack of deep knowledge about ‘Merkin politics. Why should they know about ‘Merkin politics, other than
to know how they get screwed by what happens here?

Because softball interviews are not enough, Greta moves into the field of hagiography.
Remember how she kept bringing Sarah Palin on the air hoping she could get people to like a Mama Grizzly?
All you need to know is the source is Breitbart. Lying to the world is known as “Doing a
Breitbart”and believing a Breitbart lie is called “Swallowing an ACORN.”
OH NOES! A protester gets out of hand. Nothing like those Tea Party protests, where Congressional
Representatives were spit upon and called horrible names. “Doing the Breitbart,” when Andrew was still
alive, was to say because it wasn’t captured on video, it never happened. And, because we can deceptively
edit a video, it’s the absolute truth because, LOOK!, it’s on video.

Another promotion of Van Susterin’s hagiography, because it can’t be pushed enough.

Paul Ryan at (in?) The Villages. Fox “News” will carry the whole thing live, but rarely do they
cover a speech by the President of the United States beyond the first few minutes.

A gag reel of VP Biden flubs. I’ve never seen a gag reel of, as just one example, George W. Bush’s flubs,
who was well-known for malapropisms and he even flubbed ‘Merka right into an illegal war.

Paul Ryan has mommy issues, or he will when she figures out what his policies will do for the aged.
However, they got tons of money, so whatever Ryan proposes wouldn’t affect her at all. Never mind.

But, of course, Mediaite has a very different take, otherwise Fox “News” never would have promoted this article.

“Doing the Breitbart” is also a dance and when the tunes starts playing some
people start kicking up their feet to dance along.

Fox “News” Sunday does a lot of these “polls.” While Chris Wallace always makes a point to say on air that the
polls are not scientific (and there would be a shit storm if he didn’t) the low-information Fox “News” viewer still
takes the polls as gospel, especially when the results are so one-sided, like above. Yet, the respondents are already
preselected because they are all Fox “News” viewers. Their only knowledge of the issue being polled has been the
steady drip, drip, drip of what Fox “News” has told them. It’s like asking McDonald’s employees whether they prefer
a Big Mac or KFC chicken.

Haw, haw, haw!!!
A big picture of a big fish just proves who’s really floundering. Don’t tale the bait.

What you’ll never hear on Fox “News” is that the Navy Seals are lying and connected to Birthersism and the GOP.

Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) is hoping that money will win the election. What you’ll never hear on
Fox “News” is the fact that Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) runs SuperPACs spending
unprecedented amounts of untraceable money in this election cycle.

“QUICK! How can we lay this off on the Commander in Chief?”

Another Dr. Keith Ablow job. He not only diagnoses the VP, but then goes after the POTUS as well.
Can you say “unprofessional”? I knew you could.

“QUICK! Look over there!!!”

“QUICK!!! Look over there at Ecuador.”

TWEET! Dog whistle from Weaselzippers. Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Yet polling suggests that people believe the administration’s take on Medicare. Therefore, Charlie must sew doubt.

Let’s parse this one from Shark Tank, shall we? “Desperate”? That’s a matter of opinion. “Democrats”? We
don’t know that for sure. Maybe they just don’t like people who misuse their privilege. “Heckle Romney”?
Oh Em Gee!!! Of course we can’t have that. Pass the smelling salts. However, when a Senator yells “You
lie” during the President’s SOTU address, or a reporter heckles the Predinet while he’s making an
announcement in the Rose Garden, it’s all hand on deck for Fox “News” to smooth over those rough spots.

Hannity went fishing with the former Vice President. Why aren’t both of them in jail yet? Don’t take the bait.

Right, because the best thing is to play the “false equivalency card” that both parties do it,
but Democrats do it more and always have. The GOP has just been forced to respond in kind.

You won’t hear this anywhere else, as Fox “News” loves to tell its viewers.
That’s because other news outlets don’t traffic in bullshit.

Let me guess: Secretary of Hair? Head of the Department of Birtherism?

Because no one has ever told Romney not to show up, or not to use their music at campaign events, right?

I’ve written elsewhere how Gretched (rhymes with wretched) mangles the English language, so we can ignore
the “ger” and lack of proper punctuation. Yet, it can still be FIXED!!! Try this instead because it’s more truthful:
“Start with Biden end with Seals…no time for Beckel, who will make a fool of himself anyway. Dont [sic] Miss It!!”

Former Governor John Sununu waent ballistic when he appeared on CNN and was challenged on his factually
challenged talking points. So he shouted at the host, “Wear an Obama bumper sticker on your forehead when
you say that.” Better to find a safe harbour on Hannity where all the softball questions will be framed in a
way that allows Sununu to trash the president.

After a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners, including Reverend Desmond Tutu, denounced this show as
glorifying war, Fox “News” had to come to its defense. The fact that Todd Palin is in the show is just coincidental.

But still nothing on how some of these guys are connected to Birtherism. And, they are GOP operatives,
but have a great answer for that: Waving the flag: YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!!

Because Fox “News” can’t push this faux outrage on the misrepresentation of the “chains” comment enough.

Fox “News” will never tell you that frequent talking head Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) has a
SuperPAC that is spending record amounts of money to influence this election.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Prior to Romney choosing Ryan as his VP pick GOP
pundits were saying it could be worth an 11-point bounce. When the choice of Ryan didn’t move the
needle, now Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) wants you to believe it’s meaningless.

What a guy!!!

This was the bullshit story of the week. No sources. No confirmation. Cupcakes for everyone!!!

What a guy!!! He’s a hunk!!!

And it’s all Obama’s fault.

Hear that dog whistle? Welfare moms! One silly story in one silly place and Fox “News” elevates it to the national dialogue.

A rare Three-Fer sourced from The Daily Caller, which has proven to be in the tank for Mendacious Mitt.
By repeating the story Fox “News” gets to repeat the demonstrably false claims the Navy Seals are making
against President Obama, gets to attack Media Matters, and then goes after the tax exempt status of
Media Matters for America. I saw them do all of this while discussing this story on air.

That’s all for today, folks. Stay tuned for our next exciting adventure in the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, that spins so fast it’ll make you dizzy.

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Unpacking Coconut Grove ► Part Four ► Open Houses and Broken Laws

The meeting place

Is there illegal work going on inside the E.W.F. Stirrup House? I certainly think so. Get comfortable and read on. This is a long one, friends.

It was Friday noon (08-17-2012) and I was to meet someone in front of the Coconut Grove Playhouse. This gent was going to get the full Charles Avenue History Tour, which I have now given to several people, several times. In fact, I’ll give the Charles Avenue History Tour to anyone who shows an interest in helping me get the word out about the E.W.F. Stirrup House. It’s almost like the Coconut Grove Ghost Walk, except the ghosts I’m talking about once lived on Charles Avenue. If you want to book a Charles Avenue History Tour, contact me.

This particular Charles Avenue History Tour turned out to be the longest one yet, almost 2 full hours. Either this gentleman was very interested, or he feigned interest very well; I only saw him glance at his watch once. Or, it could be I’m a much better story teller than I give myself credit for, despite all the swearing.

Since I arrived before he did I had a bit of time to kill and used that time to take a few pictures. The first picture I took was of a brand new structure that’s popped up
on Charles Avenue since the last time I was there, mere weeks ago.

Blessed relief with the E.W.F Stirrup House in background

This Port-A-Potty is just off the Charles Avenue driveway entrance to the Regions Bank, and is situated just east of the locked gate at the E.W.F. Stirrup property. Half off/half on the sidewalk and half off/half in the bank’s driveway seemed a very unusual place for a Port-A-Potty, but I was undaunted. I used it anyway. After the 65 minute drive from Sunrise, it was actually a welcome sight, if my bladder could see. Usually my first stop in The Grove is the washroom for the Taurus Bar. I don’t know how many times I can get away with “I’m a tourist and I need to use your washroom,” but this week I didn’t need to. It appeared as if my every need was being anticipated, and you have no idea how right that thought turned out to be in the end. It was a day of wonderful Synchronicity and being able to take a whiz without lying to the bartender at the Taurus was the least of it.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Still life: Damaged fence with dumpster

I noted some new, recent damage to the fence surrounding the Stirrup House, which is no big deal; chain linked fencing is easily fixed. However, the dumpster in the background MIGHT be a big deal. Then it occurred to me that the dumpster might be connected in some way to the Port-A-Potty. I made a mental note to keep an eye on the dumpster as best I can. I have seen many dumpsters come and go from inside the Stirrup property. However, I’m never around to know what they are being used for because I only get down to Coconut Grove once a week.

Then I hustled over to the front of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, just a few hundred feet away, to meet my Charles Avenue History Tour guest.

Skip ahead about an hour. My guest and I were standing directly in front of the Stirrup House while I conducted my Charles Avenue History Tour as fast as I could, because I never know when someone will tire of it. It’s a long, complicated history that spans 120 years and several different Charles Avenue properties. All of that background becomes necessary before I can even get to what I consider the important part of the story: Who Controls What On Charles Avenue, which, is not coincidentally, Part Three of this continuing series. I was at the part in the Charles Avenue History Tour, where I start connecting all the dots. Suddenly a white pickup truck arrived and the two gents in the truck unlock the gate surrounding the Stirrup property and drive inside.

The Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums

My attention was now divided. I wanted to finish the Charles Avenue History Tour, but I could not help be curious about the pickup truck, the bed of which was filled to the gills with carpet and padding. Are they going to start carpeting the rotting E.W.F. Stirrup House, currently undergoing Demolition by Neglect. That would be like putting lipstick on a GOP vice presidential candidate.

However, it turned out the carpet was merely remnants ripped up from somewhere else and was being tossed into the dumpster. It is my assumption (without any proof whatsoever) that the carpet was ripped up during some renovation from inside the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums immediately south of the E.W.F. Stirrup House. It’s not such a leap of imagination. The Grove Garden Residence Condominiums, or rather the powers that control it, seem to use the Stirrup property for its own benefit for all kinds of things.

To the left is a set of doors built into the wall that separates the E.W.F. Stirrup property from the Grove Garden Residence Condominiums. If one peeks through the partially open doorway, pictured at right, one discovers the “La Cava Wine Club,” just one of four Chi Chi restaurants that occupy the ground floor of the Grove Garden Residence Condominiums. La Cava Wine Club is a near redundancy, since “la cava” means “the wine cellar.” The other businesses are two high end restaurants, and the 100+ year old structure that houses the Taurus Bar, that began its life as a tea room. It was saved from the wrecker’s ball when the Grove Garden Residence Condominiums was built around it.

That’s not all the Stirrup property is being used for to benefit the Grove Garden Residence Condominiums. In the southeast corner of the lot are two air conditioning units (left) that feed cold air to somewhere within the condo complex, maybe to the wine bar, which is the closest business. There are also many piles of garbage (just one is pictured at right) and trash hidden behind the E.W.F. Stirrup House, away from the prying eyes of city inspectors, who would levy fines if they knew how much trash was being piled up on the property. This is clearly illegal. Even though I have seen dumpsters come and go, these piles of garbage just get larger and larger. It’s clear the dumpsters are not being used for these piles of garbage. So what, exactly are their purpose? Turns out I wouldn’t have all that long to find out.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself again.

While my attention was divided — giving my Charles Avenue History Tour and trying to see what these gents are doing inside the Stirrup property — I missed the most important thing of all. These men unlocked the side door of the Stirrup House and stepped inside. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to get my camera out of my quick-release holster to take a picture of them entering the side door; I only managed to take a picture of the open door after they passed through it. I have never seen anyone in the Stirrup House before!!!

The open side door to the historic E.W.F. Stirrup House, currently undergoing Demolition by Neglect, and now hammers

Then we heard pounding from inside the house. The two gents are visible through the front window of the upper floor of the Stirrup House and they are ripping the room apart. I yell up, “What’s going on?”  They yell down to me that the E.W.F. Stirrup House is being turned into a Bed & Breakfast.

WAIT!!! WHAT???

No! That can’t be! It was only last week that I was on the City of Miami web site and confirmed for myself that the property is still zoned Residential. I was checking the status because last year, according to CBS Miami, Aries Development Group (oddly not named in the CBS article, but named by the Coconut Grove Grapevine) was petitioning the city for a change of zoning on the E.W.F. Stirrup property from the current Residential to Commercial. According to the CBS report a decision was to be made by May 26th of last year, which apparently had been deferred to the April 6th meeting. Now, fifteen months later — as I mentioned above — the Miami web site still lists it Residential and I can find no OFFICIAL mention anywhere that the zoning has been changed to accommodate the developer.

Now it’s time to get even deeper into the weeds. According to a 2010 article in the South Florida Business Journal a man by the name of Gino Falsetto is head of Aries Development. According to the Coconut Grove Grapevine “Aries Development Group [are] the people [sic] that own Calamari and the Taurus restaurants.” That seems somewhat misleading. It’s my understanding that Aries Development Group also built the Grove Garden Residence Condominiums, which has never been fully occupied.

Who is Gino Falsetto? To begin with Gino Falsetto is, or was, Canadian. So am I, so I don’t hold that against him. What’s IS worth holding against him, however, is the string of bankruptcies Falsetto and his brothers left behind in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and just across the river in Quebec, which left Canadian taxpayers on the hook for a good chunk of change. According to the Ottawa Citizen:

An Ottawa success story in the restaurant business ended in failure Tuesday when two restaurants owned by the Falsetto brothers declared bankruptcy owing creditors and the tax department more than $1 million.

Sheriff’s deputies acting on the orders of Revenue Canada Tuesday raided the House of Caesar on Somerset Street, Stephano’s Restaurant and Bar on Bank Street and the Amoretto Restaurant on Lisgar Street seizing items including liquor, beer and cash to offset back taxes.

On Wednesday, Stephano’s (521327 Ont. Inc.) and Amoretto (521326 Ont. Inc.) filed for bankruptcy. House of Caesar is not bankrupt, but has closed.

Stephano’s and Amoretto are still operating under the trusteeship of Thorne Ernst & Whinney until a buyer, or buyers, can be found for the restaurants, said bankruptcy trustee Brian Doyle. [Fri Jan 30 1987, subscription required]

According to a February 3rd article in the same newspaper, the Revenue Canada seizure angered Gino Falsetto:

“They left us to operate three restaurants with no inventory and no cash,” says an irate Gino Falsetto, the president of Falsetto Holding.

The failures mark the end of a restaurant business that in its heyday had annual gross revenues of about $4.5 million, 120 employees and a $1-million payroll.

It started eight years ago when the four Falsetto brothers – Gino, Antonio, Enrico and Stephen – and a handful of shareholders opened the House of Caesar.

Expansion was rapid with Amoretto opening next, then Stephano in 1982 and finally Sapper’s Bridge in 1984.

Revenue Canada’s action was the result of a series of financial problems that started with the opening of Sapper’s Bridge – a classy restaurant in the Atrium in the Byward Market.

In less than two years, the Sapper’s Bridge operation lost $1.2 million, half of that in the six months before it went bankrupt last March.

“Our problems, no question about it, started with our Sapper’s Bridge operation,” Gino said in a recent interview.

A PDF file found on the internet, titled “The Gino Falsetto Bed and Breakfast Con, not only goes into some of Falsetto’s Canadian business failures, but more importantly, traces the various corporations that claim an interest in the E.W.F. Stirrup House. Assuming the information is correct, it’s like those Russian dolls, with one nested inside the next, nested inside the next, nested inside the next. And, whaddaya know, it all goes back to Gino Falsetto and Aries Development.

The author of the PDF, who has his own issues and lawsuits with Gino Falsetto and his
business partner Pierre Heafy (who is also from Canada), maintains a web site called Heafy-Falsetto Leaks. The author comes off as a combination of Crank and Gadfly, leaning towards Crank. Yet, he has obsessively followed the business activities of Gino Falsetto and asks 3 legitimate questions about the nesting-Russian-doll aspect of the property’s ownership, which I don’t feel qualified to answer:

Why, Mr. Falsetto, the shenanigans of hiding the true identity of corporate ownership of 3242 Charles LLC? It couldn’t possibly be simply a maneuver to accrue benefits under the IRS Tax Code? What if it is a means of building a solid wall should creditors knock on Gino Falsetto’s door?

But, I digress.

Back to the story. To remind you: I’m yelling up to the guys tearing apart the front room of the 2nd floor of the historic E.W.F. Stirrup House and they’re yelling down at me. One of the guys agrees with me that it’s a beautiful house, needing restoration. The other one is saying that it should be set on fire because it’s full of wood rot, mold, and termite damage. This is troubling because my guest on the Charles Avenue History Tour had just said almost the exact same thing to me. However, he was talking about how unscrupulous property owners have been known to do away with inconvenient structures standing in the way of development and then blame drug addicts or electrical problems for the ensuing conflagration.

I shudder at the thought that someone would do such a thing to the beautiful, historic 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House. As I am shuddering I have a flash of inspiration, so I yell up, “Can I take a look?”

And they said YES!!!  

AMAZING!!!

It has been my dream to see the inside of this house ever since I first discovered it in early 2009. Even though they gave me permission, I knew I was being subversive when I entered the Stirrup House. I took as many pictures as I could while I was in the house before I skedaddled. Not all of them came out good, but I am including those as well.

This is what the inside of the historic E.W.F. Stirrup House looked like as of yesterday.

The mud room just inside the side door of the E.W.F. Stirrup House.
Many of the rooms are used to store construction materials and other junk.

Another ground floor room. The house had many small rooms and no large ones.

This seemed to be the largest room in the entire house. The front of the house is through that door of the bright room.

Another room in a warren’s maze of rooms. More storage.

Another room. More storage.

Upstairs. A cute little built in shelving system.
I can imagine E.W.F. Stirrup’s books, family photographs, and knickknacks  here.

A lovely little window seat on the second floor with a western exposure. Afternoon sunlight would fill this window.

Another room on the second floor looking towards the front of the house to the room where the men are working.

Another view of the room on the 2nd floor where the men are working, looking west.

This is where the work was going on, the front room on the 2nd floor. The guys are ripping the paneling off the wall.
While I was unable to get pictures of it, the boards being pulled down have termite tracks all on the back.

Men at work. Behind the wooden paneling are wooden walls, not lathing. Houses of this era were built entirely with
Miami Dade Pine. It is impossible to get Miami Dade pine these days. It’s all been chopped down.

This is the room above the front porch, which provides the shade below. It appears
as if the white wall at left was once an outside wall because it’s made of siding.
That screen door is very pretty and highly sought after by restorationists.

The same room as above, but the reverse angle. It’s very small.

Paneling about to be chucked to the ground from the 2nd story window. You can see the
elements that lead me to believe this was once an exterior 2nd floor porch: the screen door,
the solid door behind the workman, the exterior siding, and the pitched roof above.

The top of the stairs with more built in shelving.

Rooms after rooms after rooms. The back of the house on the 2nd floor.

Aside from the room where the guys were working, this was the least cluttered one.

A relatively modern bathroom.

Another view of a relatively modern bathroom.

Coming down the stairs. That’s the front door.

I’m not entirely sure what those things are, but they might be shelves. The rest? Who knows?

Junk and exposed PVC drain pipes. Sorry it’s out of focus.

Another room on the 1st floor, just inside the mud room.

Another view of the same room At this point I decided I better get out while the getting was still good.

Now I wish I had taken more pictures. All told I guess I spent about 15 or 20 minutes inside the house and I was nervous the entire time. Even though the workers gave me permission, if anyone higher up the chain of command showed up it could have gotten dicey, especially if they learned I was the one writing all about the E.W.F. Stirrup House.

Fortunately my guest was still waiting for me when I left. He had declined stepping on to the property himself because, as a newly minted immigrant who had only recently received his Green Card, he didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize his stay in ‘Merka. However, he was pretty much out of time. So I summed up a few bullet points for him, we shook hands, and parted.

It was only after we parted, and I was already on my drive home, did it occur to me that I had witnessed a potentially illegal act. Whether the property is zoned Residential or Commercial is something that I don’t know for certain. Unconfirmed reports say the zoning has been changed. The City of Miami web site informed me last week that it was Residential. I tried to locate the same information today to see if it had changed and couldn’t even find the place where I had been last week to see if it had changed in the meantime. It’s a very confusing web site.

However, that’s not what is allegedly illegal. The law is pretty clear about construction and renovations and it’s no different in Miami than anywhere else in the country. There must be a Building Permit issued by the Building Department. Furthermore, the Building Permit must be conspicuously displayed. I saw no Building Permit outside the house or inside the house.

That’s why the minute I got home I called the City of Miami and reported it to the Building Inspection Department as a potentially illegal work site. I stressed with the woman who took the information that this needed to be expedited above a normal building inspection because this is a 120-year old structure and there is a fear that the owner/developer is trying to get away with making so many changes it will be too late for the E.W.F. Stirrup House to be the Community Resource Center that neighbourhood rumours say was intended when the Grove Gardens Residences Condominiums was granted ITS building permits.

I have a confirmation number for my complaint and everything. So yeah, MoFos. If you are wondering who reported you, it was me.

Previous Chapters in Unpacking Coconut Grove

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My First Band ► Cobwebs And Strange ► Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

When I was growing up, like every other kid in ‘Merka, I wanted to be in a band. The Beatles had just broken worldwide and it seemed like the easiest thing in the world. All you had to do is grow your hair long and shake your head every once in a while, right? No, it turns out being in a band actually involved learning an instrument. That’s where I fell down on the job.

We had a crappy acoustical guitar in the house and I would spend hours fumbling on it trying to make it sound like a guitar. It never sounded like a guitar in my hands. That’s when someone suggested I take lessons. Lessons?!?!?! Who knew?

I took many lessons and never seemed to improve. I’d practice for hours V-E-R-Y  S-L-O-W-L-Y and could pull it off the runs and scales. However, the second I tried to speed up it all started to fall apart on me. I could never make my left hand do what I wanted. Eventually my guitar teacher, as gently as he could, told me to give it up. Now keep in mind: he was getting paid for these lessons and could have strung me out forever, earning money on my fumbling. Yet, he was honest enough to tell me that in his career he had seen a couple of people like me before. Slow, I could play anything he gave me. However, the minute we tried to speed it up to anything resembling music, it all fell apart. I had an uncoordinated left hand that wouldn’t obey commands from my brain. I was heartbroken.

It turns out that time proved him right. Over the years I have learned that my left hand is pretty useless for most tasks. When I smoked I couldn’t even use my left hand to hold the cigarette because I managed to drop it so many times. Trying to use a remote with my left hand? Forget it! I’m the EXTREME opposite of ambidextrous. Hell! I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I was heartbroken until I saw bands like The Turtles and The Rolling
Stones and The Doors. Those bands had lead singers who only had to know
how to shake a tambourine. So, I bought a tambourine and I practiced shaking it, for hours on end. When I felt I had that down I added my next signature move: I’d shake the tambourine, occasionally hitting it with my left hand. Once I perfected that I moved on to Lesson Three: Hitting my thigh with the
tambourine. That was much harder because on Day One of Lesson Three I
created a huge black and blue bruise on my thigh.

Eventually my right thigh toughened up and I could bang a tambourine
with the best of them. It was time to find a bunch of backing musicians.

Dean Donaldson, my childhood friend from Gilchrist Avenue

The truth of the matter is the band kind of fell together
organically. Across the street from me lived Dean Donaldson who had
taken up the drums. I can still remember how excited he was when he got his
first pair of drumstick and a practice pad, before he ever got his first
drum set. He came over to the house and put his practice pad on our
kitchen table and said, “I can play ‘Downtown’,” the Petulia Clark hit
that was at the top of the charts right then. Then he started singing
and banging on the pad. Every syllable was punctuated with a thud, alternating hands: ♫
WHEN YOU’RE A-LONE AND LIFE IS MA-KING YOU LONE-LY. YOU CAN AL-WAYS GO
[pause] DOWN-TOWN ♫ and at this he did a little para-diddle. It sounded
like real drumming to me. What did I know? I had just perfected the
tambourine.

I went to summer camp with a fellow named Mark Levine, who played Farfisa organ, and another kid named Howard Deitch, who played guitar. Both were not only proficient on their instruments, but had real equipment with real amplifiers too. That was almost more important than being proficient in those days.

So, now I had a band and we needed a name. One of my favourite songs at the time was a demented instrumental by The Who, written by Keith Moon, called “Cobwebs and Strange.” I don’t remember how I convinced the rest to name the band after this song, but they went for it and Detroit’s “Cobwebs and Strange” were born. Actually, I know why Dean voted for it, because we also did the song and he got to do some wild soloing during that song.

Here’s The Who version. Ours was never recorded for posterity.

The set list was, for the most part, mine. It had to be. I was always the final determining factor for any songs we did, because the song had to be in my very limited vocal range. We did a lot of Doors, The Who, Animals, and Mothers of Invention, The Turtles (which is ironic, due my later friendship with Howard Kaylan; we even did Happy Together and I didn’t have to pay Howard 17 cents either). All those influences were mine, as were the Frank Sinatra covers we did.

Mine, mine, mine!!! ALL MINE!!!

Why am I obsessing over a band I started 45 years ago this year, Daylight Savings Time? Because there’s a web site out there called “My First Band” with a page on Cobwebs and Strange in which I was totally written out of the band’s history, even though I formed the band with my childhood buddies and had the most influence on our set list. Under the rubric of “Cobwebs and Strange/The Greenhalgh Band” it says:

Bill, Howard, Dean and Mark formed “Cobwebs and Strange” in 1967. They won a battle of the bands contest at Cobo Hall (Detroit), winning some equipment. The band did a lot of Doors, Who and Mothers. Also some Motown and Moby Grape.

Dean, Bill, Howard and Mark in 1969, after I
had already left the band. I never knew Bill at all.

There is no mention of me anywhere on the web site. I have on 3 separate occasions written to “John Kanaras” for a correction to no avail. He provided the information to “My First Band,” and replaced (according to his own suspect band biography) Mark Levine in Cobwebs and Strange in 1969, having come from Johnny and the Junglemen, which (I’m guessing) was later called The Greenhalgh Band. I have never gotten a response.

Writing to the owner of the web site would do no good. Aside from the fact that he says “we’re no longer taking submissions,” he has a very cleverly worded disclaimer:

The publishers of My First Band™ do not check facts submitted by contributors. All information is expected to be as truthful and factual as possible. My First Band™ is not responsible for any lapses in memory, lack of good taste, assassination of character, disparaging remarks on musicianship, outing of sexual preferences, public exposure of alcohol or pharmaceutical abuse, paternity suits, or any other kinds of vindictiveness festering over 40 years. Information submitted is the sole responsibility of the contributor.

My First Band™ accepts no responsibility for erroneous or fabricated information concerning the bands or individuals listed as members of said bands, so if you’re out to humiliate that guitar player that got all the girls and kicked you out of the band, piss off, we’re just trying to have a little fun here.

A version  of Cobwebs and Strange I was never in

“Having a little fun here” was the whole reason I started the band in the first place. That and the fact that deep down inside I was a frustrated musician after not being able to play guitar. Maybe that’s why I later went into music promotion and managed several bands.

By 1969 I had already left Cobwebs and Strange because I went to be a councellor at Camp Tamakwa in Algonquin Park, Ontario, Canada and, by the end of that summer, had met a Canadian gal I eventually married. I didn’t live in Detroit a whole lot of time after that and spent 35 years in Canada before returning to the States to take care of Pops.

Me onstage on the venerated El Mocambo stage (where
The Rolling Stones also played) with Drastic Measures.
I love this pic because it appears as if I am singing with
Drastic Measures. I am not. I’m just introducing the band.

The sad, sad truth of the matter is Cobwebs and Strange were probably better off with
out me. I am, to be generous, a mediocre singer with a limited range.
When I do Karaoke, there are some songs I can nail. I do a mean “Sixteen
Tons;” have great fun doing the Otis Redding arrangement of
“Tenderness,” rocking out at the end on the stuttering part; but my favourite is to do the
Louis Prima arrangement of “Just A Gigolo/I Ain’t Got No Body” with my
Louis Armstrong voice. These 3 tunes always go over big because I have
’em down pat. But more importantly, they are in my range and don’t
require me to harmonize. I can’t harmonize worth shit.

Once I was visiting my friend Tony Malone, who I also had the honour of managing when he was the leader of Drastic Measures. He was building up tracks on a song at his home recording studio and asked me if I wanted to add a backup vocal. I was thrilled because I’d finally be on a Tony Malone song. He played me the song and then sang me the part I needed to sing as harmony to his main vocal. I had no trouble singing the part he wrote for me to sing. That is, until he hit playback. Every single time I fell off my harmony line and sang the main melody that the recored Tony was singing. He gave me a nearly a dozen attempts and I did the same thing every time. Without the playback, I had no problem singing that very simple harmony. With the playback, I was a total vocal idiot. Frustrated, Tony gave up on me and sang the harmony line in ONE TAKE! One fucking take!!! I felt humiliated. But I also knew I was watching a true professional at work.

Anyway, that’s my story of My First Band and I am reclaiming my history starting NOW.

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The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode Three

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

The Fox “News Spin Cycle is working overtime, which means I am having to work overtime just to keep up with it. You can see how scared Fox “News” is by how furious the SPIN cycle is working to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. They must be reading the same polling I am: Their own.

Episode One of this series ran on Monday. Thirty-two hours later there was enough for Episode Two with sixteen entries. Now just 11 hours later, I have enough for Episode Three and I even culled some. If it keeps up at this rate, this could become a full time job.

But, enough about me. Let’s get to the highlights lowlights: It’s all dog whistles, lies, and general weirdness.

Dog whistle: The First Lady had some things to say about Affirmative Action on campus way back then. TWEET!

Bully Boy Bolling’s testosterone-fueled Faux Outrage Machine. Man up? Fox “News” has the franchise on Faux Outrage and soon it will be offering a Buy One, Get One sale. I recommend waiting for the deep discount.

Dog Whistle: Immigrants!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! TWEET!

While we all need to condemn violence, this story is a rare-two-fer for Fox “News.” It has Chick-fil-A and a gunman shooting at Conservatives, aka the Family Research Council, which “some people say” is just comprised of intolerant assholes. Immediately Fox “News” jumped into action: Megyn Kelly called this a case of Domestic Terrorism. Yet when a mad gunman shot and killed several people at a Sikh Temple in Colorado, Megyn Kelly hosted Judge Andrew Napolitano who said that shooting WAS NOT Domestic Terrorism. However, he insisted the Fort Hood shooting WAS. Consistency has never been a strong suit of Fox “News” or Libertarian Judge Nap.
Would you be surprised that this was a total distortion of what was said? Me neither.

Remember: It’s only swiftboating if it’s not true. This is swiftboating at its finest.

Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly just had to get into the act.

Why wouldn’t he defend his VP from the Faux Outrage Machine?

Mama Grizzly just had to get in on the act. “Some people say” perpetual victim
Sarah Palin invented the Faux Outrage Machine. Patent Pending.

This is the softball interview with Brit Hume, when Pakul Ryan threw Ayn Rand under the bus.
He was for her before he was against her. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Ryan without A-Y-N.

More testosterone, trying to make it appear as if Romney actually has some balls.
Look at all those CAPITAL LETTERS! It must be true!
Hannity sent out many promotions for his friendly, softball radio interview with Paul Ryan…
…and he gets Ryan to go to the Faux Outrage Machine. Who’s desperate?
If this was your big take-away from the interview, Hannity? It must have been dull as hell.

He’s not only buff, but he’s a rainmaker too.
REMEMBER: You can’t spell Romney without M-O-N-E-Y.

Another promotion for his softball interview with Brit Hume. I flunked Chemistry.

Wait!!! What??? How did this accurate assessment get loose? Ahhh, I see now.
It’s “sad” that women hate the GOP, who want to put a meter on their vaginas. Got it!

I don’t know what to make of this one. Of course it’s a way to slam a Democrat, who had once called herself Bisexual, but now identifies as Pansexual. But, brunette??? What do they have against brunettes? Oh wait! It’s Fox “News” where being blonde almost seems to be a job requirement.

It’s not that difficult for SOME people to prove who they are. This ruloing, unless it’s overturned, is going to create chaos on election day, which is probably what the GOP wants.
You don’t hear much about these Koch suckers on Fox “News.”
Here Fox “News” outsourced the job to Newsmax.

And that, dear readers, is Episode Three of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. If the pace keeps up as it has been, Episode Four will be ready as soon as you finish reading Episode Three.

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The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode Two

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Who knew that when I posted Episode One of the The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, there would be enough material for a new episode
just 32 hours later? And, I’m not even searching for these gems. I just
collect them as they hit my facebook feed. 

However,
that’s an indication of how hard the Fox “News” Spin Cycle is working,
having ratcheted itself into overdrive in order to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. 

Today’s
Silliest Thing In The World™ is the new faux outrage on the Right: Vice
President Joe Biden mentioned CHAINS and the Faux Outrage Machine
assumes he was talking about slavery. Now apologies are being demanded
and people on my facebook feed want to argue the point with me. 

IRONY ALERT: Bully Boy Bolling wondering about “journalistic integrity”vs “media bias

While it’s not true, of course, it’s still better than letting the auto industry go bankrupt

The context? VP Biden said that Romney wants to UNCHAIN Wall Street.
But any mention of chains automatically refers to slavery, right?
Bully Boy Bolling certainly knows “media bias” since it’s all he does.
Hey, Eric? Fox “News” is the mainstream media.

I think Bully Boy Bolling is obsessing. Thin skin much?

This is my favourite: Bully Boy Bolling mistook Mediaite’s accurate reporting
on what The Five said as support for what The Five said. That’s just sad.

Already laying the groundwork to say the debate moderators are in the tank for President Obama.

Maddow gave as good as she got, when Lowry actually
let her talk, but he just kept yelling “Can you answer?”
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OMG!!! He praised bipartisanship!!!

Romney guy blows his gasket and Fox Nation thinks that’s “crushing” the anchor.

Oddly enough nothings is said about “Romney Man” blowing the talking points.

Oh! Stop!! My!!! Sides!!!!

Backhanded criticism: Mittens Romney does use a
telepromter, as does ever “news” personality on Fox.
Backhanded criticism: Romney was boring before he met Ryan.

Hoo boy!!!

The Obama Camp knows that Romney couldn’t draw that crowd by himself. More backhanded criticism.
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The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode One

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics
Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

For the last little while I have been collecting some of the propaganda sent out by Fox “News” over its facebook feeds. The Fox “News” Spin Cycle™ has been on overdrive lately in its attempt to WHITEwash Mittens Romney. It’s as if they live in an alternate reality. Oh, wait, they do!!! It’s as if we have all landed in Bizarro World, which is where all Fox “News” viewers live; an alternate reality where facts are meaningless and belief in the fear-mongering bullshit they are fed. Clearly they live by the Bizarro Code. Here are just a few of the most egregious and/or funny, depending on your point of view:

Once Harry Reid started asking for Mitten’s tax returns, he was ripe for a Fox “News” attack.

Angry BLACK man, be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

When Mitten not releasing his tax returns became the issue, it was time to attack Jay Carney.

Did you know that when they opened Al Capone’s vault, they found President Obama?

Bully Boy Bolling sends out a lot of crap. All he need do is squeeze his head.
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Not mentioned: He laid his chicken feed in front of two lesbians
and made remarks that made them both uncomfortable.

This from the so-called “news” network that invented mind-numbing claims.

Of course he wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination, but you gotta love the imagery.

As opposed to the Mittens Romney plan, which is to
repeal Obamacare on Day One so no one has it.

Bernie Goldberg is Bill “Falafel King” O’Reilly’s go-to guy for attacking
the so-called left-wing media, which is another demonstrably false lie.

This is, of course, a total distortion of what was said. The President mentioned it in passing
and didn’t complain about it. Angry BLACK man? Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

If anyone knows lies, it’s Fox “News” because this is another lie. Yet, somehow they
never seem to cover the lies that come out of Mendacious Mitt’s own mouth.

No one has held Big Banks feet to the fire like this administration and it ain’t over yet.

Fox “News” started the “You didn’t build that” lie with deceptively edited video.
Mendacious Mitt was happy to run with it and is still using this demonstrably false meme.

And why would they? The “killing woman” lie is a deliberately misleading
reading of the advert and the question is based on this false framing.
Playing to its Hate Homos crowd, Fox “News” continues its Chicken Shit cultural war.

Stay tuned for more reports from Bizarro World the Fox “News” Spin Cycle™. As we get closer to the election, the lies will be coming fast and furious.

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Unpacking My Detroit ► Part 5.1 ► The 1943 Riot

Late last month I wrote about Detroit’s three major riots, one of them being the 1943 Riot. I am currently reading an amazing book that adds a bit more context to that riot. “The Warmth of Other Suns; The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration” by Isabel Wilkerson won the Pulitzer Prize in History, as well as many other prizes and awards. They are all well-deserved. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to understand the pressures Black folks felt in the south and how moving north didn’t necessarily make them first class citizens.

Wilkerson tells this sweeping story by following the lives of 3 people: Ida Mae Brandon Gladney from Chickasaw County, Mississippi; Robert Joseph Persing Foster, from Monroe, Louisiana; and George Swanson Starling, late of Wildwood, Florida.

George Starling, married too early out of spite, found himself picking citrus fruit (and many other odd jobs) in order to save up enough money to send his wife to hair dressing school and finish his education at a university in Tallahassee. He dropped out due to finances, but always planned to return. However, during World War Two he heard they were hiring in Detroit. Against his wife’s wishes he moved north by himself to help assemble B-29 bombers in what was being called The Arsenal of Democracy; when the entire car industry was turned over to defeating Hitler and Japan. Wilkerson picks up his story:

Then on the humid night of Sunday, June 20, 1943, a fight broke out between several hundred white and colored * men on Belle Isle, a park extending into the Detroit River on the east side of town. The fighting spread north, south, and west as rumors circulated among blacks that white men had killed a colored woman and thrown her baby into the Detroit River and, among whites, that colored men had raped and killed a white woman in the park.

Neither rumor turned out to be true, but it was all that was needed to set off one of the worst riots ever seen in the United States, an outbreak that would mark a turning point in American race relations. Until the 1943 uprising in Detroit, most riots in the United States, from the 1863 Draft Riots in New York to the riots in Tulsa in 1921, to Atlanta in 1906 to Washington, D.C., to Chicago, Springfield, and East St. Louis, Illinois, and Wilmington, North Carolina, among others, had been white attacks on colored people, often resulting in the burning of entire colored sections or towns.

This was the first major riot in which blacks fought back as earnestly as the whites and in which black residents, having become established in the city but still relegated to run down ghettos, began attacking and looting perceived symbols of exploitation, the stores and laundries run by whites and other outsiders that blacks felt were cheating them. It was only after Detroit that riots became known as urban phenomena, ultimately centered on inner-city blacks venting their frustrations on the ghetto that confined them.

The Detroit Riots went on for close to a week, ending in thirty-four deaths and more than one thousand wounded. The Sunday night the riot began, as many as many as five thousand people joined in the stoning, stabbing, and shooting, so many people injured that the municipal hospital was admitting riot victims at a rate of one a minute.

George was living at 208 Josephine near Hastings and Woodward and heard the mayhem in the streets and on the radio all through the night. He was living in the middle of the crowded colored quarter mockingly called Paradise Valley, where blacks were stoning the cars of passing whites, whites were beating up blacks as they emerged from the all-night theaters on Woodward, and an inspector on the scene reported to the police commissioner that the situation was out of control.

The rioting continued into the next morning. It was now Monday, the start of the work week. A Co-worker of George’s called him up.

“Hey Starling, what you gonna do?”

“Do ’bout what?”

” ‘Bout going to work.”

“I’m going.”

“Man, you must be crazy.”

“What you talking about?”

“Don’t you know? Where you been? You didn’t know it was a riot going on?”

“Yeah, but I ain’t got nothin’ to do with it. I ain’t in no gang.”

“This ain’t no gang fight. This is a riot.”

“Well, they ain’t gonna bother me. I ain’t done nothing to nobody. I’m going to work.”

“You gonna get yourself killed.”

Streetcar violence on Woodward

George had to take two trolleys to get to Hamtramck. He boarded the first in a colored neighborhood, and instantly something was wrong. The colored people were sitting up straight; the white people were crouched in their seats so they couldn’t be seen out the window.

Wonder why these people down on the floor like they are, he asked himself.

The trolley made its way to a white neighborhood, and now the colored people crouched down and the white people sat up.

What in the devil is going on? he said to himself.

The trolley pulled into the intersection. A mob two blocks long stood cursing outside the trolley.

What’s wrong with all them people? he thought.

The mob became a single organism descending on the trolley. The trolley operator moved fast. “He went back the other way,” George said. “That’s the only thing that saved us. And that’s when I began to realize the seriousness of this thing.”

He managed to make it to work that day. But the trouble wasn’t over. The rioting continued all day Monday and into a second night. When he got back home to Hastings Street that evening, a mob was approaching from Woodward, howling and turning over cars.

“I ran so fast my heels were hitting my back,” he said.

As he rounded the corner onto Josephine, he could see a colored mob forming. “They were turning over white cars,” he said, “dumping the people out like you dump ashes out an ashtray and setting the cars on fire.”

Some colored men in his block stood on the sidewalk, trying to figure out what to do. They gathered the empty bottles in their flats to throw at people if it came to that. “We were wondering how it was going to end up.”

A white undertaker in the block joined the colored men contemplating the situation. He did not leave when the other white people fled. He fixed his feet on the ground with the neighbors who happened to be colored and let it be known where he stood. He might need their protection if it came to that.

“You know them white folks raising hell over there on Woodward Avenue,” the white undertaker started to say.

“Yeah, they sure are,” George said.

The white undertaker drew closer and into their circle. “But us colored folks is giving ’em hell over on Hastings,” he said.

The colored men welcomed a new brother, and they all laughed at the meaning of that. **

This book should be read by everyone interested in race relations in ‘Merka. It covers such a wide pallet, from the south to cities all across the nation, from Jim Crow laws to relative freedom. Don’t be put off by its 538 pages (not including index, end notes and notes on methodology). It’s a very well-written book and the pages breeze by, except for all the lynchings and ugliness, which cannot be ignored.

READ IT!!!

* Wilkerson explains that she is using the language of the times
** Hoping “Fair Use” covers this long excerpt; any mistakes or typos are mine

Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be ► Ronald Reagan Cracks A Joke

President Ronald Reagan and his Vice President
Dateline August 11, 1984 – Ronald Reagan, famed for his highly-tuned sense of humour, made a funny while doing audio levels for a radio broadcast. Get ready to LOL.

Oh! Stop!! My!!! Sides!!!!

It should never be forgotten that Reagan presided during the Iran-Contra scandal, when he PERSONALLY approved a plan to sell arms to Iran, which just a few years earlier had held 52 ‘Merkins hostage for 444 days, and may have been the deciding factor in President Jimmy Carter losing re-election. Reagan famously said he would never negotiate with terrorists. Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger and Secretary of State George Schultz were against the deal. Yet, in the end, there can be no other reading: Reagan traded arms for hostages.

However, it didn’t stop there. Less than half of the $30 million Iran paid for the 1,500+ missles ever made it back to ‘Merka. The rest was diverted to the Contras, Nicaragua rebels fighting to overthrow the Sandinista government, or the Junta of National Reconstruction. This fund diversion was only discovered during Attorney General Ed Meese’s investigation of the arms-for-hostage deal. It turned out that Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North, of the National Security Council, had passed the missing money on to the Contras. Because this had been done under the aegis of National Security Adviser Admiral John Poindexter, North assumed Reagan also knew. This has never been proven but it caused some comedians (most notably me) to ask, “What did the President forget and when did he forget it?” According to PBS:

Speculation about the involvement of Reagan, Vice President George Bush and the administration at large ran rampant. Independent Counsel Lawrence Walsh investigated the affair for the next eight years. Fourteen people were charged with either operational or “cover-up” crimes. In the end, North’s conviction was overturned on a technicality, and President Bush issued six pardons, including one to McFarlane, who had already been convicted, and one to Weinberger before he stood trial.

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Meanwhile, enjoy these photographs of Reagan throughout his long life.

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Watergate ► The End of the End

Dateline August 8, 1974 – President Richard Milhous Nixon tenders his resignation, effective noon the following day, and becomes the first — and so far only — President of the United States to resign in disgrace. This was the culmination of events that began on June 17, 1972 when police arrested 5 men for Breaking & Entering into the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate Hotel. At the time White House Press Secretary Ron Zeigler dismissed it as a “third rate burglary.” While it might have been “third rate,” it was the third rate burglary that brought down a president. The story didn’t get much traction until August 1st, when Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein wrote their first story for the Washington Post. From that moment on the drip, drip, drip of stories in the Post and other newspapers isolated President Nixon. Once it was proven that Nixon participated in the Watergate cover-up, it was all over for his presidency.

There are so many ironies in this story, but here are just three:

President Nixon posing with the
“expletive deleted” transcripts.

The “Smoking Gun” tape of March 21, 1973 that proved Nixon was up to his ears in the cover-up, was made by a secret automatic recording system that Nixon had installed to preserve his historical legacy. Once the existence of the recordings were made known, Nixon could have had them destroyed; they had yet to be subpoenaed and therefore were not yet evidence. Once they were subpoenaed Nixon tried to tough it out, first claiming Executive Privilege, and then trying to get away with just releasing poorly edited transcripts of the Oval Office conversations. That’s when the words “expletive deleted” became a national punchline.

► Nixon’s resignation letter (above left) was addressed “Dear Mr. Secretary,” which was Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. However, it was Kissinger’s apoplectic reaction to earlier leaks, such as the New York Times printing the Pentagon Papers, that led to the creation of the infamous “Plumbers Unit” created to stop the “leaks.”

► Nixon’s presidency was brought down by Frank Wills, a minimum wage Security Guard at the Watergate Hotel Complex. Wills discovered duct tape on a door in the building while making his rounds, so he removed it. One of the “third rate” burglars saw the tape had been removed and, instead of it alerting them to the fact that the jig was up, replaced the tape. On his next round Wills noticed the tape was back and called police, who arrested the “third rate” burglars in the middle of their “third rate” act. Harry Nilsson dedicated “A Little Touch of Schmilsson in the Night” to Frank Wills and included a small picture of Mr. Wills on his lapel in the cover photograph. [The other picture is Harry’s son Zak, who I am proud to call a friend.] Frank Wills was also memorialized in the song “The Ballad of Frank Wills” by folk artist Ron Turner.

Further Reading on The Aunty Em Ericann Blog:

Watergate ► The Beginning of the End
Aunty Em Ericann’s Bun Fight With James Rosen of Fox “News”

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