Dr. Keith Ablow and the forehead that will not stop

IRONY ALERT: Let’s get it out of the way right out of the gate. Take a gander at that forehead. It goes all the way back to his ass. The irony? Dr. Keith Ablow was born in Marblehead, Massachusetts. You can’t make this shit up.

Incidentally, Marblehead is almost as White as Coral Gables, 97.6% White vs. 98% White, respectively. Maybe that’s where Ablow gets his overwhelming sense of privilege.

But I digress. As usual.

The weekly Fox and Friends “Normal or Nuts” segment, featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, is easily the stupidest Fox “News” idea since “body language expert” Tonya Reiman was a regular on the Loofah Lad Laugh-In hour. The Falafel King would have her view selective footage of someone that he wanted to trash and Reiman would usually comply. But at least she had something to examine: cherry-picked footage.

Not that Dr. Keith has ever needed anything to examine in order for him to psychoanalyze people he has never met. His several instant analyses of President Obama are infamous, as are these headlines culled from NewsHounds, where I used to toil as Aunty Em:

Fox’s Crackpot Dr. Ablow Likens Obama To A Wife Beater • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: Benghazi Was Part Of Some ‘Black Ops’ Psychological Warfare Against Americans • Fox’s Ablow Blames Australian Teen Murder In OK On Abortion • Fox Psychiatrist Ablow Cites Unabomber To Attack Liberals As ‘Psychologically Disordered’ • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: ObamaCare Will Lead To Riots • The Answer Is Ablow In The Wind • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Suggests Biden May Suffer From Dementia • Fox’s Dr. Ablow Reveals President Obama’s Abandonment Issues Behind His Gun Control Urges • Fox Psychologist Ablow: Gingrich’s Cheating Suggests He’ll Be A Strong President • Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow Trashes Chaz Bono – Fox News Scrubs Article

Hoo boy!!! Even Ablow’s WikiWhackyWoo was forced to add a a section under the rubric Controversial comments in the media. My favourite part:

During the 2012 Republican primary, Ablow wrote a column arguing that Newt Gingrich’s three marriages actually made him more qualified to be president. He wrote: “When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.”[19] The column was criticized, with Rod Dreher of The American Conservative commenting thusly: “Oh for frack’s sake. At some point, you have to wonder when shamelessness crosses the line from character defect to psychopathology. If only Dr. Leo Spaceman were a Republican, he could have a lucrative career on Fox.”[20]

Dr. Ablow later clarified that his position was that one’s private sexual life should remain private and that dissecting the sex lives of public figures was counterproductive and salacious.

Counterproductive and salacious. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It might be well for Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, to remember that. But, I digress. As usual.

Once a week, as the putative Fox “News” quack headshrinker, the Three Stooges on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out Dr. Keith for “Normal or Nuts.” Dr. Keith is read about 20 words of an email — not much longer than a tweet — and Dr. Keith pretends to make a snap diagnosis on whether they are “Normal or Nuts.” Hilarity ensues.

Having worked a decade on a morning tee vee infotainment news show as a news writer, field producer, booker, and segment producer, I can assure you that it’s not really a snap judgement. He’s given the emails in advance. Regardless how much time he has to think about it, it’s a scant amount of information with which to diagnose someone and call them a “lunatic” like he did this week.

Check out this week’s Ablow Job:

The best line in this segment came at the very end, and not by Dr. Ablow at all. Steve Doocy sums up the perfect Demographic just before the fade out. It has to be heard to be appreciated.

If Fox “News” is so proud of it’s resident headshrinker why doesn’t the Fox “News” website’s list of  On Air Personalities include Ablow? The “A”s start at Alicia Acuna, and run through Carol Alt, Dr. Manny Alvarez, Jim Angle, Lauren Ashburn, with David Asman bringing up the rear. See what I did there?

No matter. Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of Ablow Job, brought to you by the only tee vee hosts whose average IQ score is a negative number.