Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Here we go again. This edition of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle begins early Tuesday morning and ends after First Lady Michelle Obama delivered her stem-winder of a speech.

One thing that it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt is Laura Ingraham has far too much time on her hands. 

So let’s jump into our spaceship and head off to Bizarro World, where nothing ever makes any sense.

As always the Fox “News” day begins with a cheesecake pic from Ainsley Earworm.

No exercise today, Bully Boy Bolling?

I’m sure you’ll tell us right away, Wretched Gretched, even though it will be more than 14 hours before he delivers it.

Brain Brian Kilmeade without a voice can only be an improvement.

Joe Trippi is one of the fake Democrats Fox “News” uses to pretend to be fair & balanced. The problem is he often agrees with KKKarl Rove, who Fox “News” pretends is not spending more than $100,000,000.00 with his 2 SuperPACs to defeat President Obama.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

This is what KKKarl Rove wants you to believe because Mendacious Mitt is not going to win Florida.

“Stay tuned . . . on the Fox “News” God  Channel. We’ve got Jesus’ back.”

My main thought is you could do better than Fox “News.”

That’s Tuesday’s ass kissing done with.

Not exactly true. He compared Lyin’ Ryan’s lying to Goebbels’ Big Lie, which is totally accurate.

Well, for one, George W. Bush is no longer President and can’t start any more illegal wars. Would you like the rest in alphabetical order?

Of course Fox “News” had to make the point that President Obama is the only president that has NOT visited the Billy Graham Library. What about Lincoln?

I’m not sure that asking the question in a different way will get you a different answer.

If he doesn’t float, he’s not a witch.

Yes. Next question.

George W. Bush built that.

How many free commercials are they going to give the Pita Pit? He was also on yesterday.

Just so Right Wing idiots like you can go apoplectic.

TRANSLATION: Republicans will be lying their asses off in order to make the President look bad. Just like every other day.

Let’s give him another 4 years and see if he completes it. ‘Merka gave George W. 4 more years and he screwed up everything he touched. Besides, Mendacious Mitt is using Bush’s advisers. We don’t need that again.

A free abortion voucher for everybody!!! And two for every man!!!

But again, Fox “News” and KKKarl Rove have NEVER admitted that Rove is spending over $100,000,000.00 through 2 SuperPACs to defeat President Obama. How can he be trusted?

I don’t gotta do nothing.

“Quick! How can we blame it on President . . . OH! Wait!”

The “No Spin Zone” is as empty a slogan as “Fair & Balanced.”

Knowing how badly John McCain lost the last election, after foisting Sarah Palin on the world, he’s the last person I would take advice from. That’s why I hope Mendacious Mitt listens to him.

Oh, fer fuck’s sake. Give it a rest already.

Bully Boy Bolling has never answered one of my questions.

Pretty pictures!!!

KKKarl Rove makes false claims every time he opens his mouth and forgets to confess to his EXTREME conflict of interest.

Is Geraldo is still on Fox “News”? This is funny considering he later apologized for criticizing Eastwood.

Bully Boy Bolling and the GOP wants you to forget that George W. built that debt.

Another bullshit Factor poll.

A total misrepresentation of what the First Lady said, which is why Fox “News” would feature it.

Imagine how Fox “News” would bleat if a Democratic operative said something so inflammatory. However, because a “Republican heavyweight” said it, it’s all cool.

This was done merely to contrast with what Fox “News” will lie about tomorrow what was said at the DNC.

Here’s where the magic happens and by magic I mean where they pull facts out of thin air.

Sununu calling anyone incompetent is as ridiculous as Fox “News” calling itself “Fair & Balanced.”

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Fox “News” babes would be lost without these “makeup miracle workers.”

Are you sure, Laura?

One artists makes a picture and Fox “News” elevates it to a national story.

Bully Boy Bolling is still reliving his glory days of just last week, when he was in friendly territory.

This isn’t from Fox “News,” but it dovetails with Ingraham’s update above and adds visual context to this story from The Atlantic “Foxy Ladies; Why one network applies so much makeup.” It’s actually quite a funny article.

Hoo boy!!!

No, just an awkward talk show host.

Regardless who we owe it to, George W. Bush built it.

If the white sheet fits . . . .

Bully Boy Bolling glad-handing with Wing Nut Jon Voight and a bunch of other GOP Wing Nuts.

He would have completed a lot more, had he not had the obstreperous “Party of No” as the opposition.

No, Laura. They have intelligence.

In case you missed it when those Foxy Friends said it on Fox and Friends, here it is again. Of course it’s a lie.

Really, Laura? You’re going to make fun of goofy people dressed in a goofy manner? Do I have to drag out those crazy Teabaggers, with their misspelled racists signs and tri-cornered hats?

Classy, Laura. If you’re going to make fun of fat people, let’s get Chris Christie out here again.

Here’s where the bullshit all started.

“Quick! How can we blame it on President Carter?”

She calls herself the enemy, which only proves she’s not “Fair and balanced.”

There’s not enough dope in the world to get me high enough to think your misanthropy is beautiful, Laura.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Enough, Laura, enough!!!

This is pretty much the only person Fox “News” didn’t try to smear. However, a war hero is generally untouchable, unless your name is Max Cleland.

In case you forgot where this bullshit started.

How long do you think it will be before Fox “News” gives Tammy Duckworth the Max Cleland treatment? Oh, wait! Rep Joe “Scumbag” Walsh already has.

But you still won’t tell the Fox “News” low-information audience about your conflicts of interest.

One of the best speeches I have ever seen. Fox “News” talking heads “damned her with faint praise.”

But it’s true. However, Fox “News” is just throwing out more red meat to its low-information viewers.

It’s almost amusing to watch how furious the Fox “News” Spin Cycle spun last week to WHITEwash mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan, especially when compared to this week. This week Fox “News” is not WHITEwashing for Mittens, it’s BLACKwashing against President Obama. Look for it to get a whole lot worse as the week goes on, especially if the DNC does well.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

While this isn’t a scientific survey (because I am not at my computer all day), once the Fox “News” Spin Cycle stopped WHITEwashing on behalf of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan during the Republican Convention, the messages dropped off drastically. Before the convention it took days to garner enough for one of these episodes and, even then, I’d only have 40 or so. During the convention the Fox “News” Spin Cycle was spinning on a continuous cycle, with nearly 100 messages a day, from which I culled the best 70 or so. Suddenly, after the RNC, the drop off was so precipitous that it has taken several days to get enough for another full episode. Granted, this may have been due to the holiday weekend. Time will tell whether once the Democratic National Convention starts the numbers will climb to the same numbers of before. What will also be telling is how many of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle updates will be positive or negative for the Democratic party.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? They’ll fall into the same 3 categories as always: Pro-Romney, Anti-POTUS, or total distractions. But, before we get there, we have to deconstruct the ones that came in during the interregnum between the two conventions. Here are the last four days. Hold tight.

Friday morning, the morning after the RNC, and look who gets a softball interview from a softball. And, look who is still using capital letters in the wrong places.

I thought Clint stole the show, as did the rest of the world.

And everyone loved it, right?

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama.”

Leaving Tampa and the butterball had to do some celebrity glad-handing. It would be better if he spent his time admitting his egregious conflicts of interest, but that will never happen.

Eastwood, of course. No one was talking about anything else.

Marco Rubio had a tight grip on that Florida GOP credit card too, but he was made to pay the money back.

“QUICK!!! How can we blame this on President Obama.”

He gave a speech? I was still thinking about Clint Eastwood.

Back to the cheesecake for which Ainsley Earworm is best known.

Look who is trying real hard to stay relevant after Fox”News” dis-invited her to the RNC last week.

“There’s an anti-POTUS painting? QUICK! How fast can Fox “News” promote it?”

Fox “News” liked that someone liked Mendacious Mitt’s speech? What a surprise.

By the weekend Fox “News” personalities were moving into Charlotte to crap all over the DNC.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Janice Dean needs Ainsley Earworm to teach her a thing or two about cheesecake photography.

Of course Friday’s The Five was a non-stop Love In for Mendacious Mitt, when they weren’t trashing the POTUS, of course.

In other words: Loofah Lad will give them all the time the need to get their message out.

An entire special from Hannity trashing the President of the United States. How is that different from his regular show?

Normally they are trashing the NY Times as being in the tank for Obama, but World News Daily (and Fox “News”) knows a hot story..

The Washington Times has never been objective. I wonder if it’ll become more, or less, objective now that owner, Cult Leader, and self-proclaimed Messiah, Sun Myung Moon, has gone to sit at the OTHER hand of God.

Sean Hannity has played the race card against the President for the last four years or, more correctly, he has guests who play the race card so he can pretend to keep his hands clean.

Bully Boy Bolling thinks people are impressed by his exercise regimen because he tells his brain dead followers about it almost daily.

A moment of levity on the set of Fox and Friends Weekend, in between segments bashing President Obama.

Bully Boy Bolling once again proves there’s no Fair in Balanced, or something like that.

No, but it’s not too late for Fox “News” to cite all KKKArl Rove’s conflicts of interest in handicapping the race. Who the hell am I kidding? There’s no way they’ll ever do that.

It’s not like that was never done before, right?

Once again Bully Boy Bolling proves he’s neither FIR nor BALANCED.

Until Fox “News” and The Daily Caller can lie to them about what they claim President Obama really means. Then they’ll disagree.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama. OH! Wait! We already have.”

I wonder if Bully Boy Bolling ever tells God the same lies he tells the Fox “News” audience.

This is where the magic happens and by magic I mean where they just pull facts out of thin air.

So hurry so you don’t miss the lies.

I wonder if Laura Ingraham will be glad-handing with Democrats this week. Nah! Who the hell am I kidding?

Like Bill “Falafel King” has never had a meltdown on air. He’s referring to Melissa Harris-Perry, who didn’t “melt down” and didn’t tell her guests to shut up or cut their mic, like Loofah Lad has. She merely displayed some righteous anger.

Gee, like that’s never happened in an election season before. However, Axelrod doesn’t have to make shit up in order to attack the RNC and to point out Mendacious Mitt’s failures.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama.”

There’s still far more enthusiasm for President Obama among the general electorate than there was for Mendacious Mitt at his own RNC.

Mendacious Mitt has been playing the Race Card. He keeps pulling the Ace of Spades from the bottom of the deck. See what I did there?

Got to rest up those legs for her morning cheesecake shot.

Don’t those legs look well-rested?

There’s got to be a NASCAR and low-information voter joke, but I’m too lazy to look for it.

The Labour Day Obama Bash-A-Thon starts NOW!

Here all week. Try the veal.

This is what passes for Fair and Balanced on the propaganda network: KKKarl Rove, who never reveals his conflict of interest, and Joe Trippi, who never reveals he is a Democrat because he agrees with Rove most of the time. Then there’s the moderator, who frames the entire debate with a pro-Republican or anti-Obama slant.

Mendacious Mitt must be feeling the heat because he refers to two oblique lines from a speech PRIOR to his big RNC moment in an attempt to blunt criticism coming from both the Right and the troops.

No morning run for Bully Boy Bolling?

And at no time did he reveal his conflicts of interest. Why do I keep mentioning this? Because it’s important and is proof positive that Fox “News” is not Fair & Balanced.

This made me spit up my morning coffee. The owner of Pita Pit came on to claim that he really did “build that” and then explained how he bought into the company when he was just a lowly franchisee.

I was hoping Butterball KKKarl would go ass over tea kettle and land on fake Democrat Joe Trippi. That doesn’t make me a bad person, does it?

 

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

More Fair & Balanced from Bully Boy Bolling.

This is the latest Reich Wing freak-out. Despite Burton being 100% right, and the fact that he apologized after it was demanded, Fox and Friends has already done AT LEAST two segments on it already on Tuesday morning and it’s only 8:20 as I write this.

Because the GOP wants to pretend that the Bush Presidency never existed. How dare President Obama point to it!

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama. Wait! What? During the Bush administration we claimed the POTUS has little effect on gas prices? It won’t matter. Our audience is not smart enough to remember.”

If Laura Ingraham were an honest commentator she’d . . . never mind. We know she’s not an honest commentator.

Where it will be all Pro-Mendacious Mitt or anti-Obama and, as usual, they won’t let Bob Beckel get a word in edgewise.

Kimberly Guikfoyle showing off some of her RNC pictures, days late.

More glad-handing at the RNC. Get a load of those gams!

Two Fox “News” babes and not a leg in sight? What’s up with that?

Still no legs? Yeesh! They need a refresher course in cheesecake from Ainsley Earworm.

To start with, there will be far fewer lies . . . .

. . . . until Lyin’ Ryan shows up. Then the lies will flow like water under the George W. Bush bridge.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama. We can’t? Why not? They’re both Black.”

Oh that Ingraham. She’s such a kidder.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama? We’ll just let Politico do it.”

Sounds like KKKarl Rove is still not ready to admit he’s spending over $100,000,000.00 through his two SuperPACs to game the election for the GOP.

Since it’s already Tuesday morning the tally for the Fox “News” updates begins now. However, they are already FAR off their previous mark set last week during the RNC. Hoo boy! Stay tuned for Chapter Thirteen of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Scooping up the latest in the Fox “News” Spin Cycle. This latest in my popular series doesn’t even include the day after the night before of the final night of the Republican National Convention. No WHITEwash, or mouthwash, can get the taste of Clint Eastwood Crazy™ out of the nation’s collective mouth, but Fox “News” will try its hardest.

Meanwhile the team of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan needs all the help from Fox “News” it can get. Following the nominated Vice President ‘s speech it was generally agreed that Paul “Ayn” Ryan lied from one end to the other. However, if Fox “News” ever acknowledged his easily debunked lies, I must have blinked. Once again it was like landing on Bizarro world. Fox “News” thought it was the greatest thing since perforated toilet paper, which is the perfect analogy for the shit that came out of his mouth that had to have been pulled from his ass.

Let’s get right to it.

In other words, there are several areas where Fox “News” can sow doubt about President Obama, whether it is true, or not.

Shorter Fox “News:” After we outed the name of this author, we’ll ignore the fact that the Pentagon says he may have broken the law in order so that we can say his account differs from the one from the White House.

It’s no longer a secret: Clint Eastwood isn’t much of a speaker.

Scammity promotes another anti-POTUS movie. If you ever want FREE advertising for a project, make an anti-Obama movie. You’ll get tons of FREE publicity.

But of course, Loofah Lad will interrupt and heckle, barely letting Colmes get a word in edgewise.

Yet, Fox “News” never fires anyone for saying offensive things about President Obama. Remember Bully Boy Bolling’s Hizzy House?

Brain Brian Kilmeade also uses his feed to promote his radio show, with a familiar name.

Forgetting all about Rudy “A Noun, A Verb, 9/11” Giuliani’s ethical lapses, those Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends actually suggested he’d make a great Attorney General in a Romney White House.

Of course it goes too far. When Fox “News” uses a question mark, it’s called a “Cavuto Mark” in honour of Neil.

Shep is in his glory. He gets to cover a natural disaster as he ignores the unnatural disaster in Tampa.

The Mendacious Mitt I want to know is what’s in those tax returns.

Oh! Stop!! My!!! Sides!!!!

The Daily Bret? Oh, please.

Not likely the pit bull with lipstick. Sarah Palin couldn’t even get on Fox “News” on Wednesday. She was forced to play victim, which is apparently her comfort zone, from the sidelines on her facebook feed.

Why doesn’t Fox “News” disclose Karl Rove’s clear conflict of interest? Brain Brian Kilmeade goes full Bizarro and claims Rove is a “blind partisan.”

But The Five can stop Bob Beckel from speaking. They do it every day. Who did Wretched Gretched leave out? I’m sure that was just an oversight.

I thought it would be someone’s crazy uncle and I was right.

Is Geraldo still on Fox “News”?

Karl Rove looked forward to Thursday. Harry Nilsson never did.

And yet the Supreme Court ruled it is. Am I reading a different Constitution than Rand “Ayn” Paul?

Until Clint Eastwood unleashed his crazy on the RNC, John McCain was every Republican’s favourite crazy uncle.

The truth, which was exactly the opposite of what Lyin’ Ryan delivered.

Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he? Detect a theme yet? Nothing about Mitt’s Mendacity and Ryan’s Lyin’ will ever pass the lips from a Fox “News” personality.

Ainsley “Airhead” Earworm has done away with the cheesecake and now just takes pictures of inanimate objects. Here’s what her TelePrompter looks like from her vantage point.

HAW! HAW! HAW!

That actually improves Laura Ingraham’s charisma and foreshadows all the lies that she spews.

If the DNC ever used a “news” personality, Fox “News” would go bonkers. But Huckleberry’s okay with them.

Fox “News” was pushing the transcripts of a speech before the speech had even ended. What’s up with that?

Now Ainsley Earworm is now taking pictures of tee vee monitors. I guess she has a really bad seat at the RNC.

Fox “News” couldn’t get enough of Condoleeza Rice. Down the memory hole went how she helped lie the country into President Bush’s illegal war.

A split sentence – one part true the other a lie. Lyin’ Ryan has to pretend he’s confident, tho’.

It’s be a Republican Love In.

I thought it had more lies in it than a Hotel Marriott. See what I did there?

TRANSLATION: Forget the fact that I voted for the Bush tax cuts, voted for both of his wars, and voted in favour of sequestration, which is what helped put you in that basement.

More lies packed into a short speech than you’ll find in an entire day on Fox “News.”

At the risk of repeating myself: More lies packed into a short speech than you’ll find in an entire day on Fox “News.”

Which means more lies are coming. Hope you’re wearing your Fox “News” branded hip waders, available at Bill O’s Store’0’Crap.

Fox “News” SciTech doesn’t understand how this whole propaganda thing works. It needs to find a way to trash the POTUS.

The lines where he wasn’t lying. Oh! Wait!! Never mind.

The only Dem on that list is Joe Trippi, who sides with the Republicans anyway.

Exact Ann Romney quote to a Latin audience: “You people know how to party!” Hoo boy!!!

Since Hulk Hogan came out in favour of Mendacious Mitt, why not plug his Beach Shop?

His ultimate objective is to fool as many ‘Merkins as possible. However, truth would be preferable

And still nothing on his conflict of interest.

More promotion of Hulk Hogan. If he had said he was voting for President Obama, he would have never made it onto Fox “News.”

Smithereens? Just another one of those action words that Fox Nation loves to use when it’s trying to make more out of something than it really deserves. BTW: Fox Nation never passes along all those Politifact Pants On Fire ratings it gives to Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan.

I would have thought Fox “News” would have dropped this down the memory hole.

Poor Sarah “Victim” Palin, relegated to the sidelines where her endorsements are almost meaningless.

Hoo boy!!!

If lies were gold, Lyin’ Ryan could have paid off the national debt with his RNC speech.

And the morning after Clint’s appearance speculation swirls whether he’s got all his marbles.

Rove has a lot of nerve to talk about an alternative reality. It’s where he lives.

Lie, lie, lie.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You just know that Michael Moore was far more nuanced than that. He said he feared that the money from the Romney SuperPACs, like Karl Rove’s f’rinstance, might buy the White House.

We all know that Rush Limbaugh is a disgusting pig. He proves it every time he opens his mouth. But look at how Fox “News” is using Rush Limbaugh to play the Race Card. They throw it out there so they can pretend it’s Rush who said it and their hands are clean. Which is more disgusting? Rush taking ownership of his Racist Twaddle™ or Fox “News” pretending it is NOT a Racist Propaganda Machine?

Another Ablow job from Dr. Keith.

FIXED!!! Tune in to primetime coverage of the RNC tonight – I’ll be on the Fox panel after Mitt Romney’s speech lying my dumpy ass off.

You can just barely see it, but Shep Smith has a hard on from covering another natural disaster.

What he left out, of course, is how his great grandfather fled to Mexico so he could continue to practice polygamy once it was outlawed in ‘Merka.

Translation: Voucher systems will starve the public school system, creating a country of haves and have nots.

These pants are too baggy to see Shep’s hard on, but you can be sure it’s there.

This is not a joke: The RNC had considered a holographic Ronald Reagan, but vetoed the idea when they realized it would come off as more lifelike than Mendacious Mitt.

Another tired and old idea, apparently, is speaking the truth.

Oh that Ann Coulter. She’s such a kidder! Wait!!! What??? She wasn’t kidding? Hoo boy!!!

Another Ainsley Earworm pic of an inanimate object. Go back to the cheesecake, Ainsley.

I never thought it was a good idea for an 82-year old to give an ad libbed speech, but what do I know?

…While I help myself to your money through higher taxes.

When did speaking the truth become old and tired? Ever since Mendacious Mitt hooked up with Lyin’ Ryan.

As Fox “News” promises to do everything to help me win this election.

On to Charlotte, North Caroline. Now we will see whether Fox “News” will be so slavishly fawning at the DNC. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? It will be a non-stop POTUS bash-a-thon. Stay tuned for Episode One Dozen.