Tag Archives: Fox Snark

Chow Mein and Bolling 9 ► A Vice Presidential Debate Review

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Put down Bully Boy Bolling as another bullshit artist from Fox “News” who didn’t much like Vice President Joe Biden’s debate performance. 

The so called “Fair and Balanced” network has spent plenty of time since the end of the debate alleging Biden was drunk, rude, disrespectful, an unhinged cranky old man, and even attacked him for things he didn’t say. However, leave it to Bully Boy Bolling to take it so far over-the-top that it barely resembled what the rest of the country saw. However, before Bully Boy weighed in, The Five played a greatest hits package of Fox “News” personalities criticizing the Vice President.

Watch:

ANDREA TANTAROS: Eric? Rude, cranky, disrespectful. Really unprecedented behavior and, if you’re trying to swing voters in your camp when you’re down, probably not the the way to do it.

BULLY BOY BOLLING: Yannow, umm, unfortunately Joe Biden — Mr. Vee Pee — confirmed all our suspicions. He’s a real jackrabbit. He embarrassed himself, he embarrassed the office, he embarrassed the country. Her lied about taxes. He lied about contraception. He lied about his voting record on wars. And, most importantly, he lied about what went on in Libya. The scary fact is this guy is one heartbeat away — a condescending smug, morally and intellectually bankrupt man — is one heartbeat away from the presidency. Your question, Andrea, four more years or four more weeks?

TANTEROS: Yeah.

It was only a few days ago that Fox “News” was trying to make the case that the Obama campaign calling Mendacious Mitt a liar when they called out his lying lie was “unseemly.” However, it seems Bully Boy Bolling has no trouble calling the Vice President a liar. 

The Five: Still the worst show on tee vee. Bully Boy Bolling: The worst person on the worst show on tee vee.

Chow Mein and Bolling ► A Musical Interlude

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Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling taken off my tee vee screen

I get email. Several people have asked me me how I came up with such an odd name for a series that (quite rightly) skewers Bully Boy Bolling for being the supreme asshole that he is. While I explained in the first episode of Chow Mein and Bolling, I guess it would be hubris for me to expect my faithful readers to go back that far.

The truth of the matter is I stole the name from Mike Nesmith, my favourite Monkee, who named a terrifically funny song “Chow Mein and Bolling.”



Now I guess I need to apologize to Mike Nesmeth, Nez to his fans, because my popular series Chow Mein and Bolling has knocked Nesmith off the top of the Google listings. I’ll do that my treating my fans to another great Mike Nesmith song, which helps put Bully Boy Bolling’s tee vee bullshit into the proper perspective.

Does that answer your question?

Chow Mein and Bolling 8 ► Bully Boy Bolling: Hypocrite

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Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling
taken directly from my tee vee screen

It’s become something of a truism that if you find Bully Boy Bolling taking a stand on something, you can probably find him taking the opposite position at some time in the past. He’s like Mendacious Mitt Romney that way.

Lately he has been railing against Big Bird. That’s just another way he’s like Mendacious Mitt. On The Five — which could be a serious show with serious discussions about serious issues, except that it’s on Fox “News,” so all bets are off — Bully Boy Bolling compared the big yellow bird from Sesame Street to Dora the Explorer, even though one is on a non-profit network and the other is not. However, Bolling doesn’t mind comparing apples with oranges. To him it’s just an example of the “takers” versus the “makers.” According to Media Matters:

BOLLING: This is the capitalism versus redistribution edition of what’s
actually going on here — Big Bird: taker. Dora the Explorer: maker.
They’re both worth about $350 million bucks, both of the brands, but the
Big Bird, the Sesame Street Workshop, takes in about $6 million a year
of taxpayer largesse. Dora the Explorer, all branding, all sales — and
therein lies the difference.

Watch:

Yet, it wasn’t all that long ago that Bully Boy Bolling was decrying the same “makers” versus “takers” rhetoric as Class Warfare. It came during a discussion on The Five (What am I saying? There are no real discussions on The Five. It’s one argument followed by a Right Wing Talking Point followed by a argument, followed by a Right Wing Talking Point, only interrupted by Greg Gutfeld’s non sequitur snark and Bob Beckel saying something stupid) when Bully Boy was attacking Occupy Wall Street:

“This is class warfare: Anytime you highlight the takers, the makers, the haves, the have-nots, the 99 percent, the 1 percent, that’s what they’re playing. That’s the game they’re playing.”

Watch:

Media Matters also points out: [I]n this instance, the argument doesn’t even hold up. While Sesame Workshop, the production company of Sesame Street, does indeed receive about $7 million in government contributions, that figure amounts to just 5 percent of its total revenue. Moreover, only 15 percent of PBS’ total budget comes from federal funds.

Even more hypocritically: Bully Boy Bolling’s preferred candidate in this election played the Class Warfare Card when he said, according to a secretly recorded video released by Mother Jones:

ROMNEY: There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.

I mean, the president starts off with 48, 49 — he starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. He’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that’s what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.

However, that only echos comments on Fox “News” in general and from Bully Boy Bolling in particular: Fox’s Bolling Hypes Flawed Heritage Study To Pit “The Takers” Against “The Makers”

If you look up “Hypocrisy” in the dictionary it says, “See: Eric Bolling.”

Unretouched photo of Bully Boy Bolling taken directly from my tee vee screen.
You can almost see the hypocrisy coming out of his mouth.
Find more exciting episodes of Chow Mein and Bolling here.

Bully Boy Bolling Is A Coward ► Chow Mein and Bolling 7

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Unretouched pic of Bully Boy Bolling
taken right off my tee vee screen

Like most bullies, Bully Boy Bolling has proven himself to be a supreme coward — and one with a thin skin to boot. The other day he tweeted at me how disinterested he was in my Chow Mein and Bolling series, but not so disinterested that he couldn’t NOT respond. See how that works?

So thrilled was I that Bully Boy Bully recognized little ol’ me, and my little ol’ blog, that I created an entire post around his tweet.

This morning Bully Boy Bolling sent out another tweet demonstrating his thin skin (which I’ll get to shortly) and that’s he’s also going to stick with his crazy, already debunked, wacky, conspiracy theory that last week’s Jobs Report was cooked. Naturally, I sought to capture his idiocy to embed it here. Low and behold, I was greeted with this message from Twitter:

You have been blocked from
following this account at
the request of the user.

Like most bullies, Bully Boy Bolling has proven he can dish it out, but he can’t take it. And that brings us to his latest nonsense.

Last night Jon Stewart and The Daily Show took on the Right Wing’s Phony Jobs Report Conspiracy Theory head on. Naturally Bully Boy Bolling was criticized for (once again) displaying his total hypocrisy. Watch:

Remember what I said above about Bully Boy Bolling having a thin skin? This morning he sent out the following:

Bully Boy Bolling can’t be so stupid as to think: 1). Sending out the link that demonstrates his idiocy beyond a shadow of a doubt is really a good idea; 2). That doubling down on a stupid conspiracy will suddenly make it less stupid; 3). Blocking me on Twitter is going to make any difference to me following, and making fun of, his bullshit.

As of this writing three of the Top Five posts on my blog for the week are from my Chow Mein and Bolling series. I’m clearly giving my readers what they want.

However, Bully Boy, thanks for playing our home game.

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 20

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Bizarro World is owned by DC Comics

After another week of Fox “News” bullshit, it’s time for The Fox “News” Spin Cycle to gear up, wade through all the craziness, and deconstruct it for my faithful readers.

It was an exciting 7 days in Bizarro World. Early in the week Fox “News” tried to promote a 5 year old video, which was extensively covered 5 years ago, as an EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE new video, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt President Obama is a ANGRY BLACK MAN! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Then came the Presidential Debates. After Mendacious Mitt lied his way through the debate, Fox “News” felt they had to WHITEwash his debate lies by pretending it’s unseemly for Democrats to call out a candidate for lying. Granted President Obama’s debate performance was lackluster, but that doesn’t mean that Mendacious Mitt didn’t lie every time he opened his mouth.

Then there’s Judge Andrew Napolitano. I had no idea when I chose to link up with Judge Nap how prodigious he would be in sending out messages. He’s like your crazy cousin who sends out dozens of cat pictures per day they’ve found on the innertubes, except The Judge finds Libertarian causes instead of cute animal pictures. There were so many, I decided to delete several of them.

All in all: It made for another interesting week in The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. Let’s get right to it.

Here’s Judge Nap’s first: A convoluted story about a man who lost a court case in which he claimed to have
been detained illegally after trying to pay a small road toll with a huge denomination bill.

Another softball Lyin’ Ryan interview? Will VP hopeful Paul Ryan ever appear on any other network? I doubt it.

Thomas Jefferson also said: “The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are

injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods, or no God.
It neither picks my pocket nor breaks
my leg.” So, how about that Phony War on Christmas?

Bully Boys are destroying ‘Merka.

TOO! MANY!! JOKES!!!
But look at those legs!!!

Because we all know that The Donald is an expert on Foreign Policy.

Thomas Jefferson also said: “I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.”
Tell us again about the Fox “News” phony War on Christmas.

Isn’t this sweet and precious? One Bully Boy shows his admiration for another.

Who is Mickey Mouse?

Why isn’t this guy in jail?

This comment from Bully Boy Christie came after David Gregory allowed
Right Wing bullshit on his show and didn’t call anyone on it.

Bully Boy Bolling didn’t like a call in football, so he’s going to blame the refs, who he has already called “union thugs.”

This morning’s cheesecake pic from Ainsley Earworm.

“Governor Bully Boy Christie attacked the president again. How quick can we book him on the show?”

Here are two other people who trash President Obama every time they appear on Fox “News.”
In fact, The Donald has a weekly perch in which to attack the President of the United States.

It’s a mutual Bully Boy Appreciation Society.

Dana “Butter Wouldn’t Melt In My Mouth” Perino also comes on Fox and Friends
every Monday to attack President Obama, and Bob Beckel for good measure.

If anyone knows a hatchet job it’s KKKarl Rove, who still has yet to explain his MASSIVE conflict of
interest in spending nearly $300,000,000.00 from two SuperPACs in trying to influence the 2012 elections.

A poorly sourced story in a Murdoch newspaper and Judge Nap is in a hurry to pump it out.

This is the first of the ANGRY BLACK MAN stories Tucker Carlson’s The Daily
Conspiracy Caller pumped out this week. Of cource Judhe Nap will run with it.

Wouldn’t you like to know, Laura? Looks to me like one is giving smelling salts to another.

Here’s another ANGRY BLACK MAN story that Tucker Carlson tried to sell this week.

A total misreading of the statement, but that doesn’t surprise you, does it?

Thomas Jefferson also said: “The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man
who reads nothing but newspapers.” I’m sure Jefferson would say that about Fox “News” today.

This is the closest I have ever seen KKKarl Rove admit he is in charge of the ‘Merkin Crossroads
SuperPAC. Of course, he didn’t admit anything, but it’s only 1 degree of separation. Maybe he’s
getting closer to admitting that he’s spending nearly $300,000,000.00 to game the 2012 elections.

While this is terrible, I have also read of stories where Democratic signs, and Democratic offices, have been
vandalized. Yet, I never see THOSE stories on Fox “News.” ALSO: The Molotov cocktail was proven
to be a fake, something known when this headline was written. That doesn’t make it right.
Any attack on democracy is an attack on us all.

WAIT!!! WHAT??? Somebody screwed up BIG TIME! Fox “News” is supposed to pretend that
KKKarl Rove has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with ‘Merkin Crossroads. Otherwise, Fox “News”
might have to say that KKKarl Rove is spending nearly $300,000,000.00 to influence the 2012 elections.

Bully Boy Bolling wants to blame Obama “Victory Laps” for the unrest in the Middle East, totally
forgetting the 100 years of ‘Merka meddling in Middle East policy, not to mention Dubya’s illegal
war in Iraq. However, to listen to Bully Boy, you’d think it was all Obama’s fault, all the time.

Judge Nap shares a lot of crap from Austin Peterson. Here’s another.

More from Austin Petersen.

Don’t hold your breath is you expect Bret “The” Baier to mention KKKarl Rove’s MASSIVE conflict of interest
in spending nearly $300,000,00.00 to influence the 2012 election. However, why doesn’t Joe Trippi bring it up?

Judge Nap seems to outsourced his opinions to Austin Petersen. Why does Judge Nap believe that Mendacious
Mitt won’t put the 47% in economic chains? Because he makes enough money that he doesn’t have to think about it.

Somebody should tell Loofah Lad that Corporatism is not Capitalism
and Corporatism is what Mendacious Mitt is really selling.

HIGH-LARRY-US! Rumsfeld was one of those MoFos who lied the country into the war in Iraq.
That should qualify him in being an expert in NOTHING. Yet, here is is to trash the POTUS.

To hell with all that. Where’s the morning cheesecake pic, Ainsley Earworm?

The financial meltdown of 2008 (Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago when everything was
falling off the cliff?) was about more than mortgages. It also included the Big Banks betting against themselves.

Judge Nap has been against the ACA since Day One. No wonder he’s spinning this story.

This came out before the jobs report. President Obama also had a Job Act that Congress stalled.

Wretched Gretched is stuck in the ’80s. Which is improvement to the GOP which is stuck in the ’50s.

Should Mendacious Mitt have stopped lying?

It turns out that this may have been a result of “friendly fire,” but I have yet to hear that on Fox “News.”

Most objective observers thought that Elizabeth Warren won that
debate, so Fox “News” has to pretend that Scott Brown “nails” Warren.

KKKarl Rove wants people to sign up for his weekly email, where he still won’t
admit he is spending nearly $300,000,000.00 to influence the 2012 election cycle.

Normally Fox “News” ignores Jon Stewart because he skewers the network almost every day. Yet, when
Stewart criticizes President Obama, Fox “News” turns it into a national story. ALSO: “Obliterates”
is another one of those action words that Fox “News” loves to use, even if it’s inappropriate.

A total misreading of the story, but that doesn’t surprise you, does it?

Rumsfeld wanted “Weapons of Mass Destruction” to be the cause for the war in Iraq.
Have we found those yet? Or are they still part of the unknown unknowns?

This was a win for democracy. So, how will Fox “News” spin this as the worst thing that has ever happened in ‘Merka? Stay tuned.

It was almost shocking to see Judge Nap quoting Frank Zappa, who also said “Tax the fuck out of the churches.”

You’d think this “unholy alliance” began with the Obama administration. However, “Big Banks”
are on record as saying they are not happy with the way President Obama has tried to rein them in.

Yes, trying to have parents to get their kids to eat healthier food is the slippery slope to Big
Brother. I wonder if Judge Nap was this passionate when Dubya proposed The Patriot Act.

Sure, it’s “unconstitutional” to recommend healthy food choices. Maybe we can get Dr.
Keith Ablow to do a “Normal or Nuts” on Judge Nap for overplaying his hand.

This is Bully Boy Bolling reacting to the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE 5-year old video that tried to portray
President Obama as an ANGRY BLACK MAN. I covered this more extensively in Chow Mein and
Bolling 5 ► Bully Boy Lies (Again), to which Bully Boy Bolling reacted. That follow-up can be read at
Chow Mein and Bolling 5.1 ► Bully Boy Bolling Bagatelle. It’s all a part of our extensive service called
“Chow Mein and Bolling,” in which I call Eric Bolling out for his nonsense.

Now Greta Van Sustenance attempts to drag Newt and Allen West into the 5-year old non-controversial
video which attempts to portray President Obama as an ANGRY BLACK MAN. It’s ironic considering
why Allen West was forced out of the military and his angry comments against Rep Debbie
Wasserman-Schultz, not to mention his angry smears against the Congressional Black Caucus.

Stunning! New! Both words are lies. It was not stunning, nor was it new. The funniest part about all of this was when
Tucker Carlson (of The Daily Conspiracy Caller) said he knows it wasn’t covered 5 years ago because he covered it himself.

Nothing makes the case that the end of civilization is near than a look at the
high ratings garnered by Fox “News” in the marketplace of ideas.

Bully Boy touting the ratings is like Ronald McDonald saying McD’s is the best
burger in the whole world. It’s just more proof that crap sells and ‘Merkins have no more a
discerning palette for so-called news, as they do so-called food.

I would have liked to hear a little honesty from Mendacious Mitt. It’s a good thing I didn’t hold my breath.

Where’s our morning cheesecake pic???

There it is!!!

Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain, it’s just the Wizard In Hair.

More cheesecake, but why cut off the legs?

There’s some legs.

Do I think the new presidential tape will be mentioned? Surely you’re joking Martha in for Wretched
Gretched. It will be mentioned as many times as Fox “News” can get away with before everyone agrees the
network is a laughingstock for trying to sell a 5-year old video as EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE new
video which attempts to portray President Obama as an ANGRY BLACK MAN.

Of all the stuff that Fox “News” sent out this past week, this was the most puzzling.
Its brain dead audience believes in BOTH the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” and the
Shroud of Turin. Is Fox “News” SciTech trying to make their heads explode?

Personally, I find this disgusting. It’s an attempt to link legal immigrants to welfare recipients. It’s xenophobic
bullshit, which must be why Judge Nap signed on to the Daily Conspiracy Caller’s framing of these statistics.

“The Fairy Tale” is another ‘Merkin Crossroads advert, but you’ll never hear Fox “News” tie KKKarl Rove
to the $300,000,000.00 that his two SuperPACs are spending to influence the 2012 elections.

Something else from Austin Petersen. Maybe I should just subscribe to Petersen’s feed and skip the middle man.

Once again a Fox “News” action verb that has no relationship to what actually happened. Coulter also called this
guy a child molester because she was upset that he called her a Race Baiter for her latest Race Baiting book.

Why isn’t Fox “News” showing the real Obama? Oh, right!!! Because that run counter to the last 4
years of vicious propaganda that Fox “News” has been selling that President Obama is an evil man.

How many softball interviews will Fox “News” give to Lyin’ Ryan? As many as it takes.

If he lies his way through the debate while pretending to be Presidential, he’ll have it made.

Wait!!! What???
Two questions: 1). Is Sarah Palin still a Fox “News” contributor? 2). Is Bristol Palin still a reality show star?
The Right Scoop (Right Scoop, geddit?) makes up a headline which trashes President Obama.
Therefore, Fox “News” just as to use it. That’s what’s known as “Fair and Balanced” in Bizarro World.

Libertarian Judge Nap promotes Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson.

Here’s Bully Boy Bolling trying to sell a new angle to the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE 5-year old video that
attempted to portray President Obama as an ANGRY BLACK MAN. I debunked this whole line of attack in
Chow Mein and Bolling 5 ► Bully Boy Lies (Again). I was mighty gratified when Bully Boy Bolling
responded to me at Chow Mein and Bolling 5.1 ► Bully Boy Bolling Bagatelle.
Both entries a part of my very popular “Chow Mein and Bolling” series.

And the Bullshitters.

Already attempting to delegitimatize the appointment to the United Nations before it even begins.

And, already snarking at the appointment to the United Nations before it even begins.

What we can’t afford is four more years of Sean Hannity’s race baiting,
but if President Obama is reelected, it’s only going to get worse.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: Do you think the Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: Maybe Mendacious Mitt’s lies are NOT working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

That Lyin’ Ryan will lie his way through the debate and Fox “News” will pretend it’s working for him.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

No comment.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

Judge Nap really seems to rely on Austin Petersen’s opinion a lot.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: Are Mendacious Mitt’s lies working?

Aside from the vaguely racist aspect of this, it’s such a typical reaction to
trying to destroy any attempt ay repairing ‘Merka’s crumbling infrastructure.

When he lied.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies are working.

Bully Boy Bolling makes fun of a sick colleague.

More of Austin Petersen’s trenchant analysis.

One photograph of a moment frozen in time is totally meaningless, which is exactly why the
Washington Examiner and Fox “News” are using it to bash President and First Lady Obama.

The facebook page of “Capitalism” is another place Judge Nap likes to get his ideas. Clich HERE to see how well those ideas go over.

TRANSLATION: The Mendacious Mitt lies worked.
Sure, Romney wins a debate by lying his way through it, so clearly the stock market
reacts to that. Forget that President Obama’s policies might be moving the needle.

This is in reaction to the push back Bully Boy Bolling got when he said, “There’s going to be some Chicago-style,
thug, gangster politics coming” after President Obama lost the 1st presidential debate. Read how I debunk
Bully Boy Bolling’s “emotional” bullshit in Chow Mein and Bolling 6 ► Bolling’s New Conspiracy Theory.
It’s important to remind readers that Jon Stewart trashes Fox “News” almost every day of the week.
However, if he says something critical of President Obama, Fox “News” turns it into a big story.

Knowledgeable unnamed sources in a Washington Examiner article? That doesn’t even pass the smell test.

Just more Bully Boy Bullshit™ from The Five, still the worst show on tee vee.

Totally partisan hack Mark Levin sticks up for the ANGRY BLACK MAN framing of a 5-year old video and totally
partisan hack Bully Boy Bolling takes it as an endorsement. In a nutshell that’s everything wrong with Fox “News.”

No matter how many times this has been debunked, Bully Boy Bolling is going to ignore the truth and keep promoting
his ridiculous framing of this 5-year old video, which attempted to portray President Obama as an ANGRY BLACK MAN.

Libertarian Judge Nap giving Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson
another free plug. In a nutshell that’s everything wrong with Fox “News.”

Please ask Mendacious Mitt that question the next time you see him.

From this moment on Fox “News” will do everything in its power to promote a conspiracy involving this Jobs Report.

And so it begins . . .

. . . and continues . . .

Maybe Austin Petersen should have his own show on Fox “News.” Whaddaya say, Judge Nap?

When is calling a liar a liar a character attack?

. . . and continues . . .

A poorly sourced Breitbart story is worth less than all the electrons it took to transmit it through the innertubes.

. . . and continues . . .

Which is only fitting because this show is a dog’s breakfast.

More promotion of Austin Petersen, Judge Nap’s favourite “news” source.

More promotion from Libertarian Judge Nap for Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson.

 As another week ends, another begins. Stay tuned for our next exciting adventure of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, when I will deconstruct the piles of bullshit shoveled at the Fox “News” audience by adults who really should know better.

Bolling’s New Conspiracy Theory ► Chow Mein and Bolling 6

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Bully Boy Bolling strikes again. During “The Five” on Thursday Bolling opened his mouth and inserted his foot, which is standard operating procedure for the Bully Boy. It came in the middle of a discussion where 4 of the 5 were doing several victory laps over President Obama’s poor performance at the first debate. Suddenly, and without warning, Bully Boy went all Bully Boy on Juan Williams with a brand new conspiracy theory:


JUAN WILLIAMS: Let me ask you guys a question. Do you believe that what happened last night, even — I’m gonna say, “I’m wrong and you’re right.” —

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE: Thank you, Finally!

JUAN WILLIAMS: — So do you believe that was a game-changer and now the election is all different? I don’t believe anybody changed their vote — [crosstalk]

BULLY BOY: He lost — [crosstalk]

GUILFOYLE: Oh, I do. HUH!

BULLY BOY: Oh he got smoked, Juan, but here’s the thing — here’s the thing: You know — you know this. You’ve done campaigns before. For opposition research. Right? You have all this stuff in your back pocket ready to release — Mitt Romney. They had the tape — the 47% tape — they released it at the specific time. You know Chicago — the campaign is sittin’ there with all this research. “When are we gonna send some of this stuff out?” There’s going to be some Chicago-style, thug, gangster politics coming —

GUILFOYLE: Yep.

BULLY BOY: They’re going to release something — [crosstalk]

WILLIAMS: You’re nervous? You mean, you’re nervous? I thought this was a celebration for the right.

BULLLY BOY: They have to fix this. They have to fix this.

DANA PERINO: I think, I think by Monday morning we’re going to see some attacks on Mormonism.

WILLIAMS: Oh my God, you think —

PERINO: Absolutely.

WILLIAMS: — they’re gonna get dirty with this guy?

PERINO: Somebody’s going to. It won’t be the Obama campaign —

Watch:

Keep in mind this latest whacked out Bully Boy Conspiracy Theory™ came only two days after The Drudge Report, The Daily Caller, Sean Hannity and Fox “News” tried to use a 5-year old video of Obama to stir up racial enmity among their brain dead audiences.

Later in the evening Bully Boy Bolling sent out the following. However, it’s impossible to know whether it referred to this conspiracy theory, or not:

Emotion we can all understand, Bully Boy. However, it can never be in “the best intentions for America” to accuse the President of the United States to be part of “Chicago-style, thug, gangster politics” without some actual proof. You should be ashamed of yourself . . . again. But you’ve already proven you have no shame and will race-bait this president who lives in the White Hizzy.

Chow Mein and Bolling 5 ► Bully Boy Lies (Again)

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It all began, as crap like this usually does, early Tuesday with The Drudge Report announcing via banners, and whistles, and fireworks, and ticker-tape parades, that there was a Big Scoop Coming!!! Then Sean “Scammity” Hannity announces he will have EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE never-before-seen video of President Obama on his evening show.

Within minutes the Blogosphere has sussed out that the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE video is a 5-year old speech by then-Senator Obama. Within minutes the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE video is splashed all over the innertubes, which seems appropriate because that’s where it had been hiding in plain sight for the past 60 months or so. That took the air out of Scammity’s EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE Big Scoop. Undaunted, he goes ahead Tuesday night because, after all, he’s been hyping it all damned day. It made for great comedy that the EXCLUSIVE, EXPLOSIVE speech was covered extensively at the time it was given. However, Scammity, aided and abetted by Tucker Carlson of The Daily Caller, tried to use Obama’s speech at Hampton University to Play the Race Card™:

“Angry Black man condemns Whitey.” 

What was supposed to be EXPLOSIVE turned out to be merely a damp squib. However, that didn’t stop Bully Boy Bolling from trying to fan the flames to keep it alive, which were already going out. Soon after Scammity’s show he sent out this little missive:

TRANSLATION: Be scared of Angry Black Man. However, Bully Boy Bolling wasn’t quite done. Midday Wednesday Bully Boy Bolling pumped out the following double-post:

But, in typical Bully Boy fashion, Eric Bolling did disappoint. He disappointed by lying to his brain dead audience, which will never discover the truth:



According to Media Matters: 

But Bolling’s attack is way off base. Then-Senator Obama did vote to waive the Stafford Act for Katrina relief. In fact, he was one of the Senate’s major proponents for waiving the Stafford Act.

In 2007, two similar supplemental spending bills contained funding for Katrina relief that was not subject to Stafford Act restriction.  At the time Obama opposed one version of the bill because it did not contain a timeline for U.S. withdrawal from Iraq. In a May 24, 2007, statement explaining his vote against the U.S. Troop Readiness, Veterans’ Care, Katrina Recovery, and Iraq Accountability Appropriations Act, Obama said: “With my vote today, I am saying to the President that enough is enough. We must negotiate a better plan that funds our troops, signals to the Iraqis that it is time for them to act and that begins to bring our brave servicemen and women home safely and responsibly.”

While Obama voted against the 2007 supplemental spending bill Eric Bolling is referring to, he voted for the other version of the supplemental bill that included both a timetable for U.S. troop withdrawal from Iraq and a waiver for the Stafford Act that would provide relief to New Orleans.

And, these things end, as they always do, with Jon Stewart making fun of Fox “News.”

That ends this exciting episode of Chow Mein and Bolling. Tune in next time when we eviscerate the Bully Boy all over again.

Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode Nineteen

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Bizarro World is owned
by DC Comics

Put on your hip-waders and strap some rockets to your back, it’s time to take another trip to Bizarro World. The Fox “News” Spin Cycle collates the nonsense from Fox “News” and spits it right back atcha, filled with snark!

We here at the Fox “News” Spin Cycle are still looking for that single facebook message, or tweet, in which President Obama is praised, not trashed. I won’t be holding my breath.

Geraldo and Bully Boy Bolling have had quite a few arguments on Fox “News”
lately. Remember, Geraldo, it’s all in good fun until he starts throwing chairs.

She’s about to throw a chair.

Consumer boycotts are only good when Bill O’Reilly recommends boycotting France.

Speaking of France. They have a lot of slackers in France, right?

It was such a good Talking Points Memo on France that Fox “News” sent it out too.

D’ya think Wretched Gretched is a Josh Turner fan?

KKKarl Rove passing along flawed polling numbers to deny what every
other poll said. However, not a word about his massive conflict of interest.

And, spending $$$ on people who are in the 47% is nuts. That’s how we balance the budget.

If anyone knows how to tap dance, it’s Brain Brian Kilmeade.

Would this technology shut up Lauara Ingraham? If so, I’d camp out an entire year.
You’d think that would be a good thing, but Fox “News” thinks buying an election is fun.

After Taxmageddon comes Snowmageddon, which means the Fox “News” phony War on Christmas is almost here.

Let my people pollute!!!

Freedom is not free. Music is the best. Wait!!! What???

Judge Nap sends out some of the looniest of the looney Reich Wing cartoons and saying. He’s like a fan boy that way.

The latest Fox “News” meme is how President Obama’s Cairo speech didn’t work. Let me
see if I can understand this: ‘Merka has fucked around in the Middle East for nearly a century,
but Obama’s speech didn’t solve the problem. Therefore, he must be impeached. Izzat about it?

Sure, that’s what we need here: MORE GUNS!!! In fact, when people are born
they should get a Gun Voucher. ♫ ♪ ♫ Bullets are a girl’s best friend . . . . ♪ ♫ ♪

Headly Westerfield asks (over and over again): How can KKKarl Rove claim to speak for anyone, other those with deep
pockets funding his two SuperPACs, which are spending as much as $300,000,000.00 to influence the 2012 election?

Ted Koppel thinks cable news sucks. He’s absolutely right.

Will it shut Laura Ingraham up? Lemmee at it.

Why is Fox “News” against a Constitutional Amendment striking down Citizens United?

Note there’s nothing about how the AARP resoundingly booed Lyin’ Ryan.

Because we all know that Scammity and The Newt have never distorted anything in their whole lives.

Remember when Ronald Reagan sent a cake to Teheran?

“QUICK!!! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

The gun walking program started before President Obama took office. However, Scammity
wants you forget that and also forget that AG Eric Holder was exonerated in the scandal.

MUST RESIST SNARK!!!

MUST RESIST SNARK!!!

It must be an election year.

I’d rather know how KKKarl Rove is handling the nearly
$300,000,000.00 from his two SuperPACs to influence this election.

Why the change, @alyatfox? Doesn’t matter, you’ll always be @alyatfox, until you’re no longer at Fox “News.”

Because the Romney secret recording was news and the old President Obama recording was not. It really IS that simple.

Would you be surprised to learn that Nancy Pelosi didn’t quite say that?

Worst. Congress. Ever!

This was while the NFL replacement Refs were still working and
before Bully Boy Bolling called the regular NFL Refs “union thugs.”

If Scammity knows anything about anything, it’s dirt.

♫ ♪ ♫ Bullets are a girl’s best friend . . . . ♪ ♫ ♪

Meeting with world leaders is over-rated.

See what I mean? Judge Nap sends out a ton of stupid shit.

Anti-Muslim advertising? Fox “News” is all over that.

Trying to creat doubts about the size of the crowds turning out for President Obama
because barely anybody is turning out to see Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan.

If Scammity knows anything about anything, it’sa campaign of division and class warfare. He does it nightly.

Of course they asked him about the presidential race because he’s a political expert, doncha know?

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”
It’s always easy to find stupid people saying stupid things and then edit it all together. It’s the Fox “News” business model.

Loofah Lad seems to think that anyone who would vote for President Obama is “in a fog.”

Now it’s called Benghazi-gate? Oh, Geraldo, you’re such a Reich Wing tool.

Lance Reddick made a movie on education, so he was asked about the presidential election. Makes sense, right?

Which only balances out all the Fox “News” lies told about President Obama.

Once again, Brain Brian hobnobs with the celebrities.

CBS News.

Why is the fact that he’s a Black minister pertinent? And why is the fact
that the Black minister is making up shit about President Obama pertinent?

Until this moment I hadn’t realized that President Obama’s speech was the “Cairo Doctrine.” One speech was never
going to undo nearly a century of ‘Merkin fingers meddling in the Middle East pie, it doesn’t matter who is president.

It’s hard to know whether Mama Grizzly is still a Fox “News” personality. However,
her father and brother wrote a book called “Our Sarah” so that’s important, right?

“And, at no time will we ever ask KKKarl Rove about his MASSIVE conflict of interest.”

The Palin family is on more reality shows than the Kardashians. However,
the Kardashians are not on a fake “News” network, so it all balances out.

♫ ♪ ♫ Bullets are a girl’s best friend . . . . ♪ ♫ ♪

Does it seem strange to you that Judge Nap is sending this out over facebook?
What took them so long?

The headache is what’s in their head. They made it all up again.

Bully Boy Bolling is just itching for war. It doesn’t matter who its with. Hell, Mexico will do.

Picture of bin Laden? Check! Connection to Gitmo? Check! Not mentioning detainee was released by Dubya? Check!

Just spit-balling: Better health care system?

Judge Nap is in favour of the First Amendment. I’m in favour of taxing the churches.

According to sources at the U.N. Tony Blair is the one person who
could have prevented Dubya from declaring an illegal war in Iraq.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Judge Nap seems to think that churches can involve themselves in electioneering
AND keep their tax exempt status all under the First Amendment.

To Judge Nap anti-Muslim propaganda is just another Free Speech issue.

The answer is implied in the 2nd half of the question. Good for Laura.

The real news here: Mendacious Mitt didn’t say anything profoundly stupid.

Free speech is not free; it’s tax exempt.

Mendacious Mitt should NOT be outsourcing ‘Merkin foreign policy to Bibi Netanyahu.
Most polls show that veterans are overwhelming for President Obama.

When will KKKarl Rove weigh in on his MASSIVE conflict of interest
in spending nearly $300,000,000.00 to influence the 2012 elections?

Bully Boy Bolling was for NFL “union thugs” Refs before he was against them.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama? Give us a few days. We will.”

Because we all know that KKKarl Rove controls everything, including those NFL union thug Refs.

Big government vs. small government? Freedom vs. tyranny? What’s a Libertarian to think? Judge Nap will tell them.

Suddenly the entire nation, or so it seemed, was supporting Unionism. Bring back the Refs!!!

Frank Luntz? Really? The man wears a dead badger on his head.

I’ll save you the time: He wants in at the debates.

At least he’s not sending them a Bible and a cake.

Because we all know how Fair and Balanced Newt can be.

Translation: She lived to dance another day. If she had lost, Mama Grizzly would have blamed the world.

First comes claims that she’s a fake Native American. Now sowing doubt that she’s even a lawyer.

No, not really.

More hobnobbing.

After all that President Obama bashing, here’s something to take your
mind off of it for a minute until we start the Obama bashing all over again.

What about all that Free Speech stuff you’ve been shoving at us over the churches?

It’s going to screw up this election worse than Florida in 2000, and we know how badly that turned out.

Translation: I know I can get both of them to trash President Obama.

Fox “News” covered it extensively. So did real news outlets. That’s the media.

How does that compare to the 47% of freeloaders?

The polls aren’t telling us exactly how Mendacious Mitt will lose.

Supporting Unionism and professionalism. What a concept!!!

This United Nations “global tax on the rich” is just a Reich Wing invention.

More of the “he’s not one of us” propaganda that Fox “News” loves to spread.

I’m not really sure what Judge Nap is advocating here. If you figure it out, email me. Then email him.

She never saves her best craziness for Fox “News.” After this interview she went on a
local station and said she worries for Mendacious Mitt’s mental health. Hoo boy!!!

The Reich Wing has vastly overreached in its War on Women, so we have to find a way to roll that back.

A Bully Boy Bolling action figure is not fun. It’s the scariest thing since Sarah Palin went Rogue.
Is Libertarian Judge Nap saying the President Obama should have intervened to support dictators and tyrants?

The Falafel King blames the voters for not having figured out that President Obama is destroying ‘Merka.

There is no truth to the rumour that Michelle Malkin taught Elvis how to sneer.

Only in Bizarro World is Mendacious Mitt ahead. That’s why the Reich Wing has had to promote the whole idea of skewed polls.

When Brain Brian Kilmeade is finished with trashing President Obama on Fox and Friends,
he revs up his radio show where he spends a few more hours trashing President Obama.

How many softball interviews will Fox “News” give Lyin’ Ryan? As many as it takes to get him elected.
Tell us some truth, KKKarl Rove: Just EXACTLY how much money are you spending to game the 2012 elections?

I just like the juxtaposition of Fox “News” and Rance Muhammitz.

Ainsley Earworm got married? Is that why she stopped sending out her morning cheesecake shots?

I’d rather see an early look at who is spending nearly $300,000,000.00 to game the 2012 elections.

Juan Williams promotes softball interview with Vice Presidential candidates.

Loved the ACME bomb.

More of those Fox “News” action verbs. Look at this one “mass hysteria.” Look up the
entomology of “hysterectomy.” Meanwhile, if The View had any fucking sense they would not
have invited that “harridan” on the show. Feel free to look up the entomology of that word too.

There was a lot said about the Libyan attack and NOTHING said
about the massive REPUBLICAN voter fraud scandal in Florida.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

“QUICK! How can we get him to blame it all on President Obama?”

Tee hee hee! Yes, Fox “News” actually “went there,” so to speak.
Oh, fer fuck’s sake!!!

And here are the comments from those who agree.

I like the sound of a 75% Super Rich Tax.

He needs to say that Fox “News” is the best station ever, even if Mendacious Mitt is lying again.

Mendacious Mitt is unlikeable, so Loofah Lad has to downplay likability.

We all missed the point you were making, Bully Boy, because it was stupid. But
if you say it enough times your brain dead audience will come to believe it.

The thin-skinned Bully Boy seems genuinely hurt by something Jon Stewart said, even tho’ it was true.

Any unsourced story that trashes President Obama is fair game. Gateway Pundit? Don’t make me laugh.

As I keep saying: With the largest cable news audience, Fox “News”
is the mainstream media. It’s time to stop playing the underdog.

No, Richard Nixon was forced out of office because he participated in a cover up of illegal activities.

They make it sound like it’s never happened before.

More hobnobbing.
Democracy is complicated.

Fox “News” loves attack ads when they attack Democrats. Otherwise this is the dirtiest election in history. Note
that nothing is being said about the reason Allen West had to leave the military just ahead of a court martial.

Translation: We’ve packed all the softballs.

That according to Rush “The Fat Fuck” Limbaugh, who will make up any lie to trash President Obama.

Did Fox “News” deceive its brain dead audience every day since going on the air?

See what I mean about Judge Nap sending out stupid crap? He’s
worse than your cousin who sends out all those cute cat pictures.

Again: Pretending like it’s never happened before. Therefore, Loofah Lad has to get in on the action.

“Man the torpedos!” “Remember the Maine!” “Where’s the beef?”

Applauding an attack advert by a Republican, yet Fox “News” continues to decry this as the dirtiest election ever.

More softballs that you can shake a bat at.

Jefferson had a lot to say about ‘Merka not being a Christian nation as well.

Judge Nap is quoting Bob Marley now? My favourite Bob Marley quote is, “If you are a big tree, we are a small axe.”

And that’s how the week ended, with a whimper and not a roar. With Judge Nap going from quoting a Founding Father to quoting my favourite Rastafarian. Maybe there’s hope for the Libertarian after all.

I would also like to remind my readers of my newest blog series Chow Mein and Bolling, because everyone likes to make fun of Bully Boy Bolling.

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NFL Refs Are More Union Thuggery ► Chow Mein and Bolling 4

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I’ll bet Bully Boy Bolling was on his couch cursing out the Scab Refs on Monday night. I also bet Bolling was secretly lauding the return of the Union Refs last night. However, to hear Bullshit Bolling talk of it, all NFL Union Refs are just another example of Union Thuggery:

If there’s one thing Bully Boy Bolling knows all about, it’s thuggery. He’s the biggest thug on tee vee.

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