Tag Archives: Headlines

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, January 10, 2014

As Fox “News” lionizes New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as a shining example of leadership, the robot drones have returned with today’s Headlines Du Jour. Let’s get right to it . . . before they close the bridge again.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Police Find Entire Jewelry Store Inside Teen’s Rectum

TODAY IN HEALTH CARE:

New Data Show How Hospitals Rip You Off

EXAMPLES OF THE COLOUR LINE:

#BlackTwitter Gives Politico’s Dylan Byers Hell For Melissa Harris-Perry ‘Intellectual’ Comments

Where The Sidewalk Ends, Racism Begins

WAR IS HELL:

Gatesgate: Why Obama was right to Distrust his Generals on Afghanistan

Top Ten Things Bob Gates was Wrong about, Some Criminal

FOX NEWS IN THE NEWS:

Megyn Kelly Renews Her Racial Attacks On Eric Holder

Megyn Kelly Race Baits? Teaching Black Toddler To Swear Is Child Abuse!

Fox host on Christie: ‘Bridge thing’ ruining
coverage of Bob Gates’ Obama-bashing

Fox News Downplayed Chris Christie Scandal All Day

FREE THE WEED!!!

The One Crucial Detail That
Could Sink Legal Pot in Colorado

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

Skeleton of 2,000-year-old woman unearthed in Davie

VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
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Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, January 9, 2014

Good morning, Headliners. It’s time once again to take the pulse of the world and see what your neighbours will be talking about later today. So grab a cup of java, put your cell phone on vibrate only, and settle in with today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Oklahoma man killed
stepfather with ‘atomic
wedgie,’ authorities say

LGBT NEWS:

Breaking: Utah Gov. Tells 1360 Legally Married
Same-Sex Couples Their Unions Are Invalid

FROM OUTER SPACE:

UFO Causes German Airport To Divert Flights

Fox Guest: Minimum Wage Is Just ‘Black Teenage Unemployment Act’

‘Gates of Hell’: Fox News
Pairs Ann Coulter with
Unfortunate Chyron

Colbert Calls Out Fox’s Hollow Climate Change Attack

TODAY’S COLD CASE:

Burglars Who Took On F.B.I. Abandon Shadows

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Lawmaker fires handgun in Kentucky Capitol: ‘I am a gun owner… It happens’

I NEVER META-DATA I DIDN’T LIKE:

Graphs by MIT Students Show the Enormously Intrusive Nature of Metadata

MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

16 Reasons to Go to Detroit Right Now

Detroit’s historic Brush Park may finally see a revival

Rebuilding Detroit’s first and last neighborhood

Nod to 1300 Lafayette

WHEN DO WE ADMIT THAT CAPITALISM HAS NOT WORKED?

Bring Back the WPA

Why we should give free money to everyone

TODAY IN FLORI-DUH NEWS:

Florida man bites neighbor’s
ear off over a cigarette

Toxic Tush Doc Oneal Morris to Begin
Prison Sentence (in the Male Population)

CLIMATE CHANGE, GLOBAL WARMING, & CHARLETANS

Linking Weather Extremes to Global Warming

Yes, It’s Cold — and Yes, Global
Warming Is Still Happening

RELIGION CORNER:

Pat Robertson: Global warming is a scam because there are no SUVs on Jupiter

America’s First ‘Pastafarian’
Official Sworn into Office

Pastafarian minister sworn into office

FREE THE WEED!!!

Fox News contributor Ben Carson: Marijuana causes flashbacks years after use

Chris Hayes: Bill O’Reilly Wrong On Pot Arrests

Jon Stewart blasts cable anchors panicking over legal pot: ‘You’re a f*cking idiot’

O’Reilly Fires Back at Jon Stewart, ‘Can’t Imagine’ Chinese Kids Being Addicted to Texting

Kevin Hart and Ice Cube Aggressively
Mock Nancy Grace’s Anti-Weed Comments

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
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Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Guess what day it is? That’s right! It’s the anniversary of when the last person was executed for blasphemy in Britain. Meanwhile, I’ve grown suspicious of my headline collecting robot drones. They may be executed for exactly the very same reason. However, let’s not dwell on the unpleasant because it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour.

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

Omaha police association labels video of
diapered black toddler ‘The Thug Cycle’

THE SORRY STATE OF TEE VEE NEWS:

“60 Minutes” gets it wrong again:
Cleantech hit job doesn’t check out

TODAY IN FOX “NEWS”

‘You’re Invisible, But I’ll Eat You Anyway.’ Secrets Of Snow-Diving Foxes

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

Climate Change Deniers
Using Cold Weather as
Proof Exposed as Idiots
By Jon Stewart

FREE THE WEED!!!

Stephen Colbert shreds
‘buzzkill’ David Brooks’s
argument against legal weed

RELIGION CORNER:

Man who thinks he’s Jesus… along with hundreds of young women who follow him across the world

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Since I began suspecting the headline-collecting robot drones of conspiring, they’ve been surprisingly silent. I know they’re just wait for me to slip up, so I won’t look directly at them. You shouldn’t either. Meanwhile, here’s today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Tennessee man runs for governor in GOP primary for right to shower with his raccoon


TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Cop shoots dead a tased, restrained, 100lb
teen: “we don’t have time for this”

LGBT CORNER:

Supreme Court halts Utah gay marriage

2014’s Gayest Cities in America

CLIMATE CHANGE NEWS:

Climate Change Might Just Be
Driving the Historic Cold Snap

FREE THE WEED!!!

Disagree with Nancy Grace’s Anti-Pot Crusade?
Well, You’re Just ‘Fat and Lazy’ Stoners

TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT REGULATION?

Swaziland Bans Witches From Flying Above 150 Meters

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

White House To GOP: If You Want
Troops In Iraq, You ‘Should Say So’

Family Values Republican Congressman Hid
His Out-of-Wedlock Child and First Family

TAKE MONEY OUT OF POLITICS:

Koch-backed political coalition, designed to shield donors, raised $400 million in 2012

FRANK LUNTZ IN THE NEWS:

GOP Pollster Frank Luntz Became ‘Depressed’ After 2012 Election

Frank Luntz Can’t Figure Out Why Nobody In Hollywood Is Returning His Calls

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Three Ways to Fight
Racism in 2014

THE COLOUR LINE IS COMPLICATED:

TWERK: Booty-dancing, gender
politics & white privilege

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED. MUSICAL HISTORY EVEN MORE SO:

Sting, Puff Daddy, Andy Summers, and the case of the misplaced bajillion dollars

OH! OH!! CANADA?!?!?!

Canada’s former defense minister says space aliens live among us, but hate our nukes

FUCK CANADA!!!

They fought for your right to hear the F word
Local ‘Toilet Rockers’ MacLean & MacLean at centre of landmark Supreme Court decision

Couple feel ‘robbed’ by 25% interest TD car loan
Dealership promised relief after a year but didn’t deliver, customers say
[FULL DISCLOSURE: TD is my bank. It advertises as ‘Merka’s most convenient bank.]

RELIGION CORNER:

Alabama preacher arrested for his wife’s murder as he boarded overseas flight

Satanic Temple unveils 7-foot goat-headed Baphomet statue for Oklahoma Capitol

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Miami Named 4th Worst-Run
City in America, Hialeah 9th

TRUE OBAMA DERANGEMENT SYNDROME:

Armed Minnesota man burns down his own house, then blames Obama

MOVIE CORNER:

Male Fans Made Bettie Page
a Star, but Female Fans
Made Her an Icon

Her risqué pinup photos made
her famous in the 1950s, but as a
new documentary reminds us,
Page’s liberated sexuality and
unflinching body positivity
are what still resonate today.

TODAY IN BEATLES’ NEWS:

Eurythmics reunite for Grammys tribute to the Beatles that will also include John Mayer and Keith Urban

VIDEO DU JOUR:

 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, January 6, 2014

The Not Now Silly headline-collecting robot drones have been behaving oddly lately. While they have no heads, it sure seems like they are putting them together. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they were talking about me. 

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

How two archaeologists’ hunch led to
stunning claim about Buddha’s birth date

LGBT NEWS:

Gay Marriage Opponents Call For Uprising In Utah

TODAY IN CLIMATE CHANGE:

“Dark Money” Funds Climate Change Denial Effort
A Drexel University study finds that a large slice of donations to
organizations that deny global warming are funneled through third-
party pass-through organizations that conceal the original funder

FREE THE WEED!!!

The People of Florida
Demand Medical Marijuana

And they’re forcing a ballot measure
to legalize it in November.

Obama’s Pot Problem

Now that states have started legalizing recreational marijuana,
will the president continue the government’s war on weed?

Bummer: Colorado pot shops will run out of marijuana within days

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News Sunday Guest: God Doesn’t
Want Nuns To Sign ObamaCare Waiver

Things Go Horribly Wrong For Fox News When
They Try to Use Mitt Romney to Smear MSNBC

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

A more progressive America is emerging, but Republicans won’t go down without a fight

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker doesn’t know
how to make Republicans more appealing

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Fate of Fired Guns & Ammo Editor Shows
‘Little Room for Nuance’ in ‘Gun Journalism’

OH, CANADA!!!

Canadian libricide: Tories torch and dump centuries
of priceless, irreplaceable environmental archives

ANOTHER HOAX THAT’S GONE VIRAL:

Was a Local Fox Reporter Really Fired For
Saying On-Air He’d ‘F*ck’ Missing Woman?

WHAT IF THEY BECOME SELF-AWARE?

AI vs. AI:
Two chatbots talking to each other

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Christian Pastor Calls For Atheists And Gays To Be Put To Death

10 Worst Sex and Relationship Tips From the Christian Right
These holy tips on love, dating and marriage
will allow you to please yourself (not
that way), your mate and your Lord.

IS JUSTICE BLIND?

Trial by Twitter
After high-school football stars were accused of rape,
online vigilantes demanded that justice be served. Was it?

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Miami Named One of America’s Ten Best Cities for 2013

IN OUTER SPACE:

Small Asteroid 2014 AA Hits Earth
Discovered on New Year’s Eve by a telescope in Arizona, a small asteroid struck Earth somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean — apparently unnoticed — about 25 hours later.

MEET THE BEATLES:

50 Years Later: The Greatest Beatles Performance of All Time
Months before the The Ed Sullivan Show, the band played a seven-song set for Swedish radio that settles any doubt about their electrifying live presence.

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ A Beatles’ Bootleg – Something ►

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
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Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, January 5, 2014

It’s the beginning of the first full week of the new year. I’ve yet to hear back from The O’Jays, but that fight’s so new the ink hasn’t dried on my rant yet. If I don’t hear back from them soon, I’ll be sending the robot drones after them. No matter. Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

A man tried to rob a bank after paying
$500 to a wizard to make him invisible

GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE:

GOP’s “Duck Dynasty” problem: Why Phil
Robertson was a hugely important political story

Mike Duggan, Detroit’s First White Mayor in 40 Years, Takes Office

Duggan turns to cronies first

IT WAS BROKEN WHEN I GOT HERE. HONEST!!!

The Year We Broke the Internet
An explanation. An apology. A plea.

RELIGION CORNER:

Bill Nye To Debate Evolution At Kentucky Creation Museum

Pastor Tries to Walk on Water
Like Jesus, Then Drowns
in Front of His Congregation

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

100-Million-Year Old Amber
Fossil Preserves Ancient
Flowers Caught In The Middle
Of Sexual Reproduction

Bizarre ‘Earthquake Light’ Mystery Has Been Solved! They Aren’t UFOs

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Rob Ford Kicks Off Toronto Mayoral Campaign With Misinformation

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News and Right Wing Media Attack Journalists For Reporting the Truth About Benghazi

EDJUMAKATING THE MASSES:

Here’s Exactly How Much the Government Would
Have to Spend to Make Public College Tuition-Free

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, January 4, 2014

FREEING THE WEED

Marijuana stores in Colorado
have long lines but few problems

Pot sales exceed $1 million on first day

Tina Brown: Legal Weed Leaves
America Unable to Compete with China

Is It Legal To Smoke or Possess
Marijuana in Lansing, Michigan?

David Brooks Explains Why He
Doesn’t Smoke Pot Anymore,
Is Roundly Mocked

Fugitive Ga. Banker Suspected
In Marijuana Case In Fla.

Miami’s 16th-Annual Medical
Marijuana Benefit: “It’s Not Just
About Smoking a Joint”

Colorado’s marijuana foes and
supporters worked for smooth launch

Muting Marijuana’s High:
Pot Without the Impairment

OSU Point Guard Stevie Clark
Facing Marijuana Charges

As the first weekend of the new year begins, the Not Now Silly robot drones have collected a vast array of headlines. However, they seem to have developed a particular fascination with stories about Colorado. Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

The Supreme Court Joins The Right Wing Attempt to Replace the Constitution With the Bible

Bryan Fischer Rejects Constitution – Says Evolutionists Disqualified from Political Office

South Carolina Violates the Constitution With Plan For Mandatory Prayer In Public Schools

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News Regular Michael Scheuer Suggests Assassinating President Obama And David Cameron

14 Things We’ve Learned From News Corp.’s Phone Hacking Trial So Far

NYT Executive Editor Calls Fox News Accusation on Benghazi “Ridiculous”
War Reporters Push Back: Fox News Doesn’t Understand What Journalism Is

Fox News’ hack has a plan to fix the country

OCCUPY WALL STREET:

Reporter Chris Faraone Sues NYPD Over Occupy Wall Street Arrest

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

Ancient stone bridge revealed after Chinese lake dries up

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

North Carolina Deputy Orders Man With Camera Off “My County Property” Under Threat of Arrest

THE SORRY STATE OF JOURNALISM TODAY:

CNN Disgraces Journalism With Hit Piece That Tries to Get Melissa Harris-Perry Fired

THE PENIS: MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD:

Penis drawn on business card is key to Wyoming
legal battle over unemployment benefits

WAIT!!! WHAT???

Man arrested for stealing brains in Indiana

CLIMBING THE CHRIS CHRISTIE CHAIN OF COMMAND:

‘It came from a
higher authority’

Kelly: Assemblyman says order for GWB traffic tie-up came from outside Port Authority

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

New Jersey neo-Nazi alleges discrimination after ninth child taken away

LONG STORY SHORT: LIFE DOESN’T IMITATE ART:

Dave Van Ronk’s Ex-Wife Takes Us Inside Inside Llewyn Davis

EARTH IS COMPLICATED:

Geologists discover new quake fault line in Spokane

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH:

‘Criminally insane’ Florida man found in van with 36 guns, 4,629 rounds of ammo

TODAY’S TRUMP:

Donald Trump: Researchers trapped in Antarctic ice prove global warming is a sham
This “very expensive GLOBAL WARMING
bullsh*t has got to stop,” Trump tweeted


VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► January 2, 2014

I was recently asked, “What makes a Headline Du Jour?” The first line of defense, as always, is my army of drone robots. They spend the long nights traversing the innertubes, collecting only the best headlines — at the peak of perfection. The hardest part is keeping the robot drones from becoming self-aware, which is why I’ve limited their RAM. Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Racism Literally Costs America $2 Trillion…Ready to Stop Payment?

FREE THE WEED!!!

This Iraq War Vet Was First to
Buy Legal Pot in Colorado

Six Things You Should Know
About Buying Pot In Colorado

South America May Be On the Verge Of a Marijuana Legalization Tidal Wave

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

On Christmas, Republicans Quietly Declare War on Themselves

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Watch: Party Girl Says ‘We’re Gonna
F*ck Sh*t Up!” Live on Fox News

Kelly Wright, Juan Williams Pimp Christian
Right’s America Founded On Faith Meme

GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

Duck Dynasty Patriarch Hates On Chinese, Says Muslims Are ‘Famous For Murder’

Franklin Graham chides Christians
for not fighting beside Phil
Robertson in ‘religious war’

‘Suck Dynasty’? Reality stars fizzle in awkward Fox New Year’s interview

Watch the Giant Rubber
Duck Pop and Deflate

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Law firm demands Florida man remove racist
‘commercial or whatever it is’ from Internet

WHOOOPS!!!

Customs officials destroy virtuoso flautist’s 11
instruments because they
were ‘agricultural products’

FROM OUTER SPACE:

NASA’s Hubble Sees Cloudy
Super-Worlds With
Chance for More Clouds

Video: Sun has ‘flipped upside down’ as new magnetic cycle begins

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► New Year’s Day 2014

2013 YEAR-ENDERS

Twelve Months Of Fox
News Race-Baiting

2013 a great year for U.S. stocks

2013: The year in whiteness

2013: The Best of Bad Astronomy

The Year in Racial Amnesia

Universe Today’s Top 10
(or so) Stories of 2013

2013 In Memoriam:
Musicians We Lost This Year

The 20 Worst Fox News
Moments Of 2013

The Seven Most Tiresome
Media Trends of 2013

In 1964, Isaac Asimov
Imagined the World in 2014

I’m sure it comes as no shock to anyone, but it’s a brand NEW YEAR!!! 

Not Now Silly is going to call it Two-thousand and fourteen when frustrated with it, but ’14 when pleased.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour, the very first of ’14.

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Life, Liberty, and the Founding Fathers’ Pursuit of Hoppiness
The Constitution was written by men who owned breweries, imported whiskey, and humped cows.

Retired General Wants March on White House and Citizens Arrest of Obama

Dysfunctional Republican Christians Vow To Destroy the First Amendment

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Oops! Republican Congressman Files Re-Election Papers For Wrong District

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Christie declines to defend N.J. gun laws, sparking criticism

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Knoxville drivers greeted by banners warning
that diversity is anti-white genocide

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Judge strikes down Florida law mandating drug tests for welfare

OH! OH!! CANADA!!!

Passengers Ridicule Canadian
Airline For Sexist Ticket Policy

RELIGION CORNER:

Franklin Graham: Pope Francis is not the judge, God is the judge

Home Depot founder worries Pope Francis neither loves nor understands rich Americans

HIGH TECH CRIME:

Thieves In Europe Are Using USB Sticks To Clean Out ATMs

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ Best News Bloopers of 2013 ►

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 31, 2013

This being the last day of the year means that today’s Headlines Du Jour is the last one for 2013. Join us tomorrow for the first Headlines Du Jour of 2014. Two-thousand and four. It just rolls off the tongue.

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox Anchor: NY Times Benghazi Report ‘Goes Against Much of Fox News’ Own Reporting’

Fox News Wastes No
Time Attacking NY Times
Benghazi Report

TRUE STORY: THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Guess which party has a bone to pick with evolution?

Sen. Ted Cruz hires lawyers to renounce his Canadian citizenship

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Guy Reaches For Wallet, Ends Up
Shooting Himself In The Butt

RELIGION CORNER:

Comedian Raised $125K for Atheist Tornado Survivor Just to Piss Off Her ‘Okie-Christian Neighbors’

IN OUTER SPACE:

Sun has ‘flipped upside down’ – Nasa

The Quadrantid Meteor Shower-One of the Best Bets for 2014

FREE THE WEED:

Tommy Chong on marijuana legalization:
Everyone is waking up to the truth

IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

The 12 Craziest Things That
Happened in Florida in 2013

The 32nd Annual The King Mango Strut

WHEN GLITTER IS OUTLAWED, ONLY GLAM STARS WILL BE OUTLAWS:

U.S. police gone mad: Activists
arrested for ‘bioterrorism hoax’
for using glitter on a protest banner

MOTHER EARTH IS GONNA BE PISSED:

Scientists Find 7,300-Mile
Mercury Contamination ‘Bullseye’
Around Canadian Tar Sands

I HAVE AN ORIGINAL PETER MAX POSTER:

‘Antiques Roadshow’ discovers $660
painting is $661,000 van Dyck masterpiece

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.