Tag Archives: Headlines

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 29, 2013

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As the year winds down to its logical end, Not Now Silly declares 2013 as having 365 days, give or take. Now that we got that out of the way, it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Woman Stabs Her Husband with a Ceramic
Squirrel Because He Didn’t Have Beer


LGBT CORNER:

Same-sex Couples Shatter
Marriage Records In Utah


RELIGION CORNER:

Fr. Jonathan Morris Compares
Phil Robertson To The Pope?

World’s Third Oldest Bible Displayed at Smithsonian

Paul Ryan lectures the pope
The Catholic conservative who insists he cares about the
poor says Pope Francis doesn’t understand capitalism


TEABAGGER CORNER:

Tea Party Facebook Group Posts BioShock Image Satirizing Tea Party


FREE THE WEED:

Marijuana Legalization Would
Bring Fresh Cash to California

Denver gives out recreational
cannabis sales licences


HOW MANY YEARS WILL HE GET? YOU DO THE METH:

Oregon man on meth fights off cops while masturbating in bar: police


NOW YOU CAN EAT IN THE DARK:

Glow-In-The-Dark Piglets Created In China Using Jellyfish DNA

THE LATEST IN COCONUT GROVE:


VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, December 28, 2013

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When Not Now Silly fired all the headline collecting interns and replaced them with robot drones, I thought life would get simpler. That has not proven the case. While they don’t agitate for days off, I think the drones have become sentient. Don’t look them directly in the eye and you should be fine.

I’M SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

‘Suspicious’ KKK flyers found in Chicago suburb: ‘The Klan is awake!’

Ann Coulter Trolls With Racist Article As
President Obama Wishes a Happy Kwanzaa


LGBT NEWS:

Catholic School Asked Gay Administrator to Dissolve His Marriage

Colorado State Football Coach Suspended For Using Gay Slur


GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

A&E Reverses Decision to ‘Suspend’ Phil Robertson


THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Neal Boortz: GOP Won’t Take Senate in
2014, and It’s Social Conservatives’ Fault

Rove’s Republican rivals step up


WAIT!!! WHAT???

Israel Newspaper Issues Hilarious Correction to Article Claiming Bugs Bunny is Jewish


TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Tanning Salons Now Outnumber McDonald’s in Florida


VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, December 27, 2013

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Earlier this week, when I introduced robot drones to collect the daily headlines, little did I know how smoothly things would run in the Not Now Silly news room. Now when I wake up, the robots have already returned and the headlines are waiting on my desk. If I could only find a robot with news sense to cull the bad headlines — and then post this to the blog — I could sleep in. 

I’m also going to need a never-ending supply of AAA batteries; these suckers use a lot of power. No matter, let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

WHERE WILL FUTURE HEADLINES DU JOUR COME FROM?

As fewer people read newspapers, more share their front pages

IN LGBT NEWS:

Texas bar bans gay men over ‘safety risk’ for
dancing to country music instead of hip-hop

Advocates in Florida Gather Enough Signatures to Put Medical Cannabis Legalization to a Vote

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Mike Huckabee is either a clueless fool or a brazen liar

Fox News’ 5 worst moments of 2013

Fox News Spent 2013 Worrying About “Wussification”

YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY:

McDonald’s shuts down
heavily-criticized employee
resources site

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Racist Ohio Teacher Suspended After Telling Student ‘We Don’t Need Another Black President’

New Mexico Tea Party Patriots Leader: Blacks
Should Stop ‘Bitching And Moaning’ About Slavery

The Most Clueless Racists of 2013

Detroit has seen an uptick in history buffs and photographers
visiting its ruins since its bankruptcy filing.

THE RUIN PORN OF DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Detroit’s abandoned buildings draw tourists instead of developers

After a century, Michigan Central
train station’s last
stop in limbo

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

8 very old sites in the New World

MUSIC IS LIFE:

30 Songs That Changed the Course Of Musical History

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

No charges after family member’s gun fatally shoots 2-month-old on Christmas Eve

Florida man shot and killed by stray bullet from neighbor’s backyard gun range

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 22, 2013

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Following yesterday’s insurrection by the Not Now Silly interns, let’s just say you’ll never see or hear from them again. A brand new team of interns were hired, trained, and sent out overnight to collect today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming

LGBT NEWS:

LGBT activist reported missing

In Striking Down Utah’s Gay Marriage
Ban, Judge Gives Scalia Big Bear Hug

When Having Condoms Gets You Arrested

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Wall Street Journal Op-Ed Bemoans The
End Of White Rule In The United States

Barry Diller’s PR Exec Fired After AIDS Tweet Outrage

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Pennsylvania Supreme Court Says It’s Unconstitutional For Gas Companies
to Frack Wherever They Want

THE ROB FORD DEFENSE DIDN’T WORK FOR HIM:

General in Charge of U.S. Nukes Fired for Drunken Escapades in Russia

STING NOWHERE TO BE FOUND:

Message in a bottle found 54 years later in Canadian Arctic

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Colorado school shooting plot by two
teenage students thwarted: cops

RELIGION CORNER:

Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It’s Not Conservative Enough

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ ◄ ◄ I gotcher Rasta Christmas right here!!! ► ► ►

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, December 21, 2013

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There’s been some trouble in News Land. Lately the Not Now Silly interns have been agitating for a livable salary. At the very least they want the minimum wage. But, why should I start paying them anything now? After I sent back into the innertubes to collect today’s Headlines Du Jour, I changed all the locks and moved offices. That’ll teach them. In the meantime there are now several openings for interns at Not Now Silly. Apply within. And now the news:

LGBT NEWS:

Federal judge strikes down Utah’s same-sex marriage ban

IN THE ECOLOGY:

 

Significant Victory for Ecuadorians in Oil Pollution Case Against Chevron

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!!!

7 Reasons Why Jesus Would Hate Christmas

O’Reilly Becomes Unhinged Debating Mikey Weinstein In
The War On Christmas: “I Covered Four Wars With A Pen!”

Bill O’Reilly Repeats His Christmas Lie

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON PLANNED PARENTHOOD RIGHT HERE!!!

O’Reilly Cooks Up A ‘War On Babies’ To Launch A War On Planned Parenthood

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

The Detroit Adventures of A French
Cyber-Pop Artist Named Anne Horel

DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!!!

George Zimmerman Joins Twitter, Shares
Thoughts on the ‘Pseudo Media,’ Phil Robertson

George Zimmerman vents on Twitter after
freelancer shoots video of him picking up guns

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

Lawrence O’Donnell Condemns Phil Robertson…
But Not for His Comments About Homosexuality

NO JOKES ALLOWED!!! NEWS IS A SERIOUS BIDNEZZ:

Man Arrested After News Anchor Takes Joke Tweet Seriously

AND IN BEATLES NEWS:

Crater on planet Mercury newly named for a Beatle

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, December 20, 2013

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With the year coming to an end, Not Now Silly will NOT be participating in any of those Best/Worst lists that plague most web sites at this time of year. No, the news team will continue to do what it does best: Collect headlines from all over the world and drop them here for your reading enjoyment.

IN LGBT NEWS:

New Mexico Becomes 17th State to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

CRACK CORNER:

A Positive Step: Obama Commutes
Sentences for 8 Crack Cocaine Offenders

◄ ◄ ◄ AND, IT’S ALWAYS THE RIGHT SIZE AND COLOUR ► ► ►
Rob Ford, obviously: ‘Women love money. Give
‘em a couple thousand bucks and they are happy’

Bad Santa
The Ford family Christmas party was an insight into how the clan carries on and manages to live day-to-day with the darkness suppressed or ignored

QUACK CORNER:

◄ ◄ ◄ STICK A FORK IN IT, THIS GOOSE IS COOKED ► ► ►
Robertson Family Issues Statement
on Duck Dynasty’s Future on A&E

◄ ◄ ◄ EARLIER  ► ► ►
Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal’s “Duck Dynasty” screeds twist the Constitution • Conservatives rally around suspended ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson • Sarah Palin, NOM, And Westboro Baptist: Right Wing Furious Over Duck Dynasty Dad’s Suspension • Geraldo on Duck Dynasty Phil’s Suspension: ‘Political Correctness Has Gotten Malignant’ • Bobby ‘Stop being the stupid party’ Jindal defends Duck Dynasty star because Miley Cyrus • Newt Gingrich compares ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson to Pope Francis • Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty and Why His Suspension Isn’t an Attack on Free Speech

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

School Named For Ku Klux Klan Leader
Nathan Bedford Forrest To Be Rebranded

Maryland KKK will meet in government
building to plot Obama’s impeachment

RUPERT MURDOCH’S PAPERS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Kate Middleton, Prince Harry Hacked By Murdoch Paper, Trial Confirms

The Sun Apologizes For Calling
Woman On Maternity Leave ‘Lazy’

RUPERT MURDOCH’S EMPLOYEES IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Warns That Rich People
Are ‘In Danger,’ Asks That You Pray

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Federal Court Finds GOP Governor Violated Civil Rights Of Protesters

IN CANADIAN CONSTITUTIONAL COURTS:

Explainer: Top court to rule on the future of prostitution in Canada

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Texas Gun Club grand opening goes wrong when employee shoots own hand

Deer Trail now scheduled to hold drone hunting vote in April

I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!

Fox News Airs ‘Happy Holidays’ Message As
Bill O’Reilly Declares Victory In War On Christmas

Florida Capitol approves Pastafarian Flying
Spaghetti Monster among holiday displays
 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, December 19, 2013

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Each morning I sit by the open window waiting. I wait for the return of the Not Now Silly interns, who are both the hunters and the gatherers of this operation. The NNS interns have spent the entire night reconnoitering the innertubes and foraging for nothing but the best and most succulent headlines. They are picked at the exact moment of ripeness and brought back to me for inspection. I take these proto-headlines, check them for bugs, put them through a patented homogenization process, and VOILA! Today’s Headlines Du Jour.

PUT THIS ON PAY-PER-VIEW SETTLE THE NATIONAL DEBT:

McCain To Reid: ‘I’m Going To Kick The Crap Out Of You’

PROLITARIAT OF THE WORLD UNITE:

The Great American Class War: Plutocracy Versus Democracy

I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Arizona Woman Gets Punched for Saying
‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘Merry Christmas’

SAY! DIDN’T YOU USED TO BE…?

BBC interviews random man on the
street who turns out to be the Fonz

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

Scientists cut million-year natural process to convert algae into crude oil to about an hour

Fossil turns back the human hands
of time  for tool use 500,000 years

LGBT NEWS:

Lawsuit: Mississippi school forced
‘pathetic dyke’ to use the boys’ bathroom
 

America’s Oldest Gay Rights Magazine Picks Pope Francis as Person of Year

 

◄ ◄ ◄ REMOVING THE ‘NASTY’ FROM DUCK DYNASTY ► ► ►

‘Duck Dynasty’s’ Phil Robertson suspended for comments about gays

◄ ◄ ◄ EARLIER ► ► ►

‘Duck Dynasty’ Star Rants Against ‘Homosexual
Behavior,’ ‘Islamists,’ And ‘Shintos’ In Epic Interview

Duck Dynasty Dad: Growing Up In Louisiana ‘I
Never Saw The Mistreatment Of Any Black Person’

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Gun activists have a new craze —
and it’s more dangerous than you think
The new front line in the battle over gun rights is “open carry.” Here’s why it has psychologists deeply concerned

HYPOCRITE CORNER:

Watch: Marco Rubio is Confronted for Accepting $10k Obamacare Subsidy

 

Johnny Dollar ► Hypocrite ► UPDATED!

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Reporter Daniel Dale drops libel suit
after Mayor Rob Ford apologizes again
Dale has agreed to not continue his lawsuit against the mayor after
a second, more complete, public apology was issued Wednesday.

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

N.Y. cop’s anti-Obama Facebook rant: ‘Go die in a shallow grave you Muslim commie’

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

‘Where’s Hoda?!’ Shep Smith Gets Hilariously
Distracted by Dana Perino’s Facebook Page

THAT’LL TEACH HIM!!!

German town revokes Hitler’s citizenship

LOVE CONQUERS ALL:

Jamaican bride dumps new husband 20 MINUTES after
arriving in the UK… and guess who paid for her £5k visa

PLATE TECHTONICS IS COMPLICATED:

The world’s newest island, Niijima

VIDEO DU JOUR:

THIS REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN 3D:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 17, 2013

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Wake up, sleepyheads. I SAID, “WAKE UP!!!”

The Not Now Silly news team has been out and about on the innertubes collecting only the most succulent headlines, at the exact moment of ripeness. So . . . pour yourself a cup of coffee, slap on your reading specs, and buckle your seat belts because it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour. 

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:


Judge Questions Legality
of N.S.A. Phone Records

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?

School Fails To Call 911 When Six-Year-
Old, Amazing Johnson, Severs Finger

IN LGBT NEWS:

Russian TV Star Wants to Throw Gays into Ovens – ALIVE

INSTANT RELIEF FOR AFFLUENZA SUFFERERS:

‘Affluenza’ Judge gave 14 Year-old Black kid
far more of a punishment than the rich white kid


DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!

O’Mara faces Florida Bar complaint about Zimmerman case


ON THE FACEBOOKERY:

Facebook to Start Showing Video
Ads This Week, Journal Reports


ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

In The Daily Beast, A Libertarian Says It’s Time To Sell Detroit’s Art


PHARMACEUTICAL CORNER:

The Selling of Attention Deficit Disorder
The Number of Diagnoses Soared Amid a 20-Year Drug Marketing Campaign


FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

FOX News Channel Announces ‘All-American New Year’ Special
►► Starring that GREAT ‘Merkin singer Susan Boyle!!! ◄◄

Fox News host Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanks
creationist for ‘standing up’ to the atheists


TODAY IN SCIENCE:

Scientists split water into hydrogen, oxygen utilizing light, nanoparticles

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:


 

China’s flag-bearing rover
photographed on moon

Sun will ‘flip upside down’
within weeks, says Nasa

Do We Live in a 10-Dimensional Hologram?
Why physicists imagine mind-bending black-hole universes.


IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

Nirvana, KISS, Linda Ronstadt among Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees


IN ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS:

Has a natural world wonder just been approved
for destruction by the Australian government?
One of the natural wonders of the world is about to have
3 million cubic metres of seabed dumped on top of it.


HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

Cats Chased Rats for Humans Over 5,000 Years Ago

Neanderthals buried their dead, according to new study


VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, December 16, 2013

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Not Now Silly has been publishing Headlines Du Jour since October 29th. The NNS news team has learned a few things in that time. The biggest problem? The headlines simply won’t wait. They’re ready when they’re ready and not a moment before. And worse yet, they’re only stale when they’ve gone stale and not a moment too soon. The dilemma? The line between the two is so narrow, that one can’t always tell the difference. Which is why Not Now Silly will hire only the most discerning and intelligent interns and then pay them nothing. So, let’s see which intern didn’t hold up their end and needs retooling.

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

White supremacy’s long shadow: Why the myth of “race” still haunts America

POLITCAL CORNER:

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Federal judge declares Utah polygamy law unconstitutional
District court ruling finds key parts of Utah polygamy laws unconstitutional.

MAKE WAR, NOT PEACE:

Female protester pictured kissing policeman accused of sexual assault

FREE THE WEED:

Here’s How Many Pot Shops Will
Open In Denver After Weed Is Legal

Fort Lauderdale stockbroker ‘living
proof’ medical marijuana works

A NEW FOX “NEWS” LIE IN THE NEWS:

 
Krauthammer Tells PBS Viewers:
If You Want the Whole Story, ‘Try Fox’

MEGYN KELLY IN THE NEWS:

Slate Writer Who Questioned ‘White Santa’ on
Megyn Kelly’s Response: She ‘Played the Victim’

Black Marxist Jesus? Ask Megyn Kelly about this.

RELIGION CORNER:

Pope Francis Addresses ‘Ultraconservatives’ (and Limbaugh?) Calling Him a Marxist

TRUE STORY: THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR “OLD”:

John Boehner’s Budget Outburst
Shows Right-Wing Groups
Have Jumped The Shark

FLORIDUH’S NEXT SHOW TRIAL:

Another Stand Your Ground showdown?

WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

Poverty nation: How America created a low-wage work swamp
For decades, both parties supplanted a push for higher
wages with well-intended public aid. The result: calamity

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

When Detroit paved over paradise: The story of I-375

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, December 14, 2013

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Good morning, sleepyheads! As you were getting your shut-eye, the Not Now Silly news team spread out in the less- populated precincts of the innertubes, gathering only the most succulent headlines for your reading enjoyment. Let’s get right to it.

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

SPEAKING OF JESUS:

Brutal offshore Christian reform school exposed in new documentary

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

DIDJA FALL IN?

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

THE PLANET IS COMPLICATED:

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

The mayor has admitted to drug use, and there’s
evidence of other troubling behaviour like
driving drunk. Is this a case for Children’s Aid?

NEWS YOU CAN USE:

RELIGION CORNER:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

 An EmTV Production

 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.