If I didn’t read J$P how would I ever know they were lying about me again?

I’d been prepping a Not Now Silly post, based on the silly Flying Monkey Squad exchange to the left. My plans changed due to a posting at Media Matters, but I’ll get to that shortly.

More than anything else, this small exchange demonstrates the Flying Monkey Squad’s never-ending obsession with me. Mark Koldys, aka Johnny Dollar, and Ashley Graham, aka Grayhammy, have been obsessed with me ever since I started writing for NewsHounds. I’ve not written for NewsHounds for a year and a half, but their obsession continues. That may be because I still write negatively about Fox “News” for Not Now Silly and continue to make fun of the personalities on the so-called news channel.

Chicken entrails, anyone? Bitstrips is a fun little facebook time-waster, which The Flying Monkey Squad has used to attack me with childish graphics like this.

Like a Voodoo High Priest going over chicken entrails to divine a message, the Flying Monkey Squad pours over my every innertube utterance, whether it’s on Twitter or facebook. That sharp-eyed Voodoo Priest Johnny Dollar noticed that the URL in one of my tweets came from a link on his piece of shit blog. He was only able to do that because of some extra characters added to the URL.

Oh, my! Now, that’s what I call an unhealthy obsession. Mark Koldys follows every link I send out and then, because that’s not crazy enough, he looks at the browser’s address bar.

Chicken entrails, anyone?

Now, I have never denied my obsession with the Johnny Dollar Hate Machine, nor do I deny checking into his sewer from time to time. How else would I know when those assholes are lying about me again?

However, I come by my obsession honestly. As you may recall, it began when those cyber-bullies felt the need to expose my alternative lifestyle as part of their CABLE NEWS TRUTH. In an effort to destroy the messenger, because they didn’t like my message, they went to the most personal areas of my life and then published it; all in the name of CABLE NEWS TRUTH, doncha know? What my sex life had to do with CABLE NEWS TRUTH is only something that a psychopath like Johnny Dollar can explain.

They still don’t like my message and they still attack me vociferously. However, their attacks are like water off a duck’s back because they are so sophomoric. I am amused more than anything else that they think this childish photoshopped bullshit says something about me. It doesn’t, but it says volumes about Mark Koldys, Ashley Graham and The Flying Monkey Squad.

Another childish graphic attack

Another childish graphic attack

IRONY ALERT: The last time I wrote a Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day, Little Markie Koldys groused on Twitter that it contained no actual Johnny Dollar content. However, to be fair, it was full of Grayhammy (Ashley Graham) content and that’s the same damn thing. Especially since those crazy MoFos have linked me to people I have had nothing whatsoever to do with. They have used these invented connections to smear me as homophobic because an asshole on Twitter, that attacks them both, has made many homophobic slurs. Even thought I have said many times on Twitter that I have nothing to do with this jerk, they continue to attack me for his comments.

However, I don’t have to invent a link between Johnny Dollar and Grayhammy because Ashley Graham’s lips are permanently linked to Mark Koldys’ big fat behind. Their Twitterific circle jerks demonstrate how they walk in lockstep with each other and support each other.

I could play the same semantic game that Mark Koldys plays and deliberately twist words to mean whatever I want them to mean. F’rinstance: I could say in all honesty, that it’s called the Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day because I am making comment about Johnny Dollar. However, I have more integrity than to play word games the way the former-Michigan prosecutor (I know, right?) Mark Koldys plays word games.

At any rate, these thoughts were swirling around in my head this past weekend as I worked on just the right phrasing to describe the above when BOOM! Media Matters confirmed what had been long suspected, but never proven. Under the headline Fox News Reportedly Used Fake Commenter Accounts To Rebut Critical Blog Posts Ben Demiero writes:

NPR media reporter David Folkenflik writes in his forthcoming book Murdoch’s World that Fox News’ public relations staffers used an elaborate series of dummy accounts to fill the comments sections of critical blog posts with pro-Fox arguments.

In a chapter focusing on how Fox utilized its notoriously ruthless public relations department in the mid-to-late 00’s, Folkenflik reports that Fox’s PR staffers would “post pro-Fox rants” in the comments sections of “negative and even neutral” blog posts written about the network. According to Folkenflik, the staffers used various tactics to cover their tracks, including setting up wireless broadband connections that “could not be traced back” to the network.

A former staffer told Folkenflik that they had personally used “one hundred” fake accounts to plant Fox-friendly commentary:

On the blogs, the fight was particularly fierce. Fox PR staffers were expected to counter not just negative and even neutral blog postings but the anti-Fox comments beneath them. One former staffer recalled using twenty different aliases to post pro-Fox rants. Another had one hundred. Several employees had to acquire a cell phone thumb drive to provide a wireless broadband connection that could not be traced back to a Fox News or News Corp account. Another used an AOL dial-up connection, even in the age of widespread broadband access, on the rationale it would be harder to pinpoint its origins. Old laptops were distributed for these cyber operations. Even blogs with minor followings were reviewed to ensure no claim went unchecked.  [Murdoch’s World, pg. 67]

In the book’s endnotes, Folkenflik explains that “four former Fox News employees told me of these practices.” It’s unclear whether these tactics are ongoing.

If my experience is any indication, I can assure Folkenflik that these tactics are ongoing.

Ashley Graham lies again

Oh, did I just bury the lede? No matter. Those of us who toiled at NewsHounds have asked time and time again how much Fox “News” paid Johnny Dollar to be its rabid attack dog. He has always declined to answer.

However, Fox “News” certainly got its Johnny Dollar’s worth when he exposed my alternative lifestyle in an effort to destroy me because he didn’t like my message; just as he and his Flying Monkey Squad continue to attack me to this very day. I think it’s safe to assume that Ashley Graham is also on the Fox “News” payroll, whether he is paid directly, or whether Mark Koldys shares some of his booty with the scumbag who dug into my background and wrote the personal attack against me. It’s curious that Grayhammy denies he ever did that. Unless, of course, he’s just playing one of those semantic word games. You see, he didn’t actually post my “personal info; Mark Koldys did. Ashley Graham merely did the detective work and then wrote all about it. See how these MoFos play with language?

I’m learning some new software, so relax and enjoy my latest movie.

And, a big Aunty Em Thank You goes out to Ashley Graham and Mark Koldys, who are easily my most faithful readers. They’ve already attacked me once today and I haven’t even published this yet.

Thanks for all your support, boys. You make it so much fun.

UPDATE: A note about the video. Because he’s a hypocrite, the little weasel Mark Koldys complained to the YouTubery about me invading his privacy by using images freely found on the innertubes, I have edited the video in order that it complies with Johnny Dollar’s warped sense of propriety.

Please keep in mind that Mark Koldys had no problem invading my privacy when he published details of my alternative lifestyle in order to smear me. However, he went running to YouTube with a privacy complaint within minutes of me posting the original video.